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  • File :1209529892.jpg-(10 KB, 350x146, iron-bodyguard-13.jpg)
    10 KB Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:31 No.1632449  
    Heroic deaths, /tg/. I wish to hear of them.

    A character in a previous campaign had inherited the mastery of a a deadly magical device, not unlike the Elder Wand, that passed to the first person to defeat its previous owner. The player promptly used said weapon to kill himself. The GM decreed that the weapon would decide its previous owner had been unworthy and select a new one. My character was the best candidate. So, my character and his, through a bit of careful timing, manage to kill each other at the precise same instant. Because we technically defeated one another, the weapon's powers were nullified entirely-the two claims canceled each other out. Cleric rezzed us and we went on our merry way. Or tried to, because we'd essentially just broken the entire campaign and the GM adjourned for the week.
    Heroic deaths in D&D aren't so heroic because of their impermanence. Give me better stuff. I want last stands and heroic sacrifices.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:37 No.1632481
    The PCs were fighting on an island floating four miles in the air, and were fighting an air elemental spirit that was flying around and taking them out with lightning bolts. Eventually, it used a guts of wind instead, and blew the bard straight off the cliff. He spent his last round firing the arrow that took out the elemental before plummeting to terminal velocity and taking out a tree 4 miles below.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:40 No.1632501
    >not unlike the Elder Wand

    Aaaaand nobody cares anymore.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:42 No.1632509
    >>1632501
    Yeah, it was a pretty shittily planned campaign. Like I said, all it took was one decision to totally break it.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:45 No.1632527
    >>1632509
    I wouldn't know. I stopped reading because I saw it sucked at THAT
    VERY
    MOMENT.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:47 No.1632532
    >>1632527
    Which is exactly why we tried so hard to kill the damn thing.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:48 No.1632533
    Call of Cthulhu.

    I played a tycoon, a proprietor of a successful meat factory with a penchant for recreational hot air ballooning.

    As it turned out, a group of my workers had formed a cult (or maybe the cult just infiltrated my work force) and were using the factory for their rituals unbeknownst to me.

    Eventually, I did find out what was going on, though the cultists themselves had to spell it out for me, as I was very ignorant of just about anything outside of my own privileged life. They bound me (hands in front) and were preparing to sacrifice me to bring their deity into the physical realm, when I grabbed a broken vial I found on the ground and attempted to stab the leader of the cult (and also my foreman) in the neck.

    I completely botched the roll, managed to slit my own wrists, and then bled to death on the floor. Without a proper sacrifice, the ceremony was put on hold, but not before the rest of my group had alerted a large police force to what was going on in the factory, and stopped the cult.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:50 No.1632541
         File :1209531002.jpg-(390 KB, 1448x985, lego dragon.jpg)
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    Character death in my campaign is permanent. This happened in a short prequel campaign to my usual gig.

    One of my PCs was playing an archmage whose backstory was that he'd flattened an enemy town in anger (his family had been killed by the enemy nation's soldiers). As a result his order put a seal on his powers. He could still cast spells, but he had a chance of taking Con damage proportional to the spell level.

    The party ran into the King of Dragons while chasing a band of orcs into the mountains (the orcs had kidnapped a prince who was brother to one of the PCs). At first the party tried to negotiate with the dragon (dragons in my setting are uniformly chromatic but aren't necessarily evil) but the dragon was provoked by an enemy sniper. Everything looks set up for a potential TPK (I'd warned the players that it was going to be a high-mortality campaign). The dragon landed a grab on the apologetic archmage and said "Stop saying words."

    The archmage said to him. "I've got four more for you, Dragon. I WISH YOU GONE." The player left it up to me as GM to determine what happened next.

    The dragon dropped the archmage and started sinking into a large portal which then formed a huge patterned seal on the ground. The archmage had sealed the dragon away into his own dimension.

    The entire table held our collective breath as the player made the roll that would determine whether his character would live or die. He failed, and the mage died of Con damage, his body wracked with pain from casting the spell. I gave him the chance to utter some last words to the party which he had saved from near-certain death.

    This worked out brilliantly because the villain in my main campaign 10,000 years later had opened the seal IN A PREVIOUSLY RUN ADVENTURE, allowing the dragon to run amok.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)00:59 No.1632580
    I once saw another PC kill the Big Bad End Guy (a vampire) in a single round by lighting a car on fire and crashing it into him, pinning him against the wall. PC was killed in the crash, but eventually the gas tank blew and ignited the vampire.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:04 No.1632615
    >>1632580

    AWESOME
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:04 No.1632616
    >>1632541
    >>One of my PCs was playing an archmage whose backstory was that he'd flattened an enemy town in anger (his family had been killed by the enemy nation's soldiers). As a result his order put a seal on his powers. He could still cast spells, but he had a chance of taking Con damage proportional to the spell level.

    Flattened a town? Is his name Mary? Mary Sue?

    Also, enjoy your gay campaign.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:08 No.1632641
    >>1632616
    ITT /tg/ doesn't know what mary sue means anymore.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:10 No.1632660
    >>1632616
    shutyourwhoremouth.jpg

    The whole "Oh ya, you were uber powerful....but if you try to use it now, you're fucked" thing works pretty well when used sparringly.

    Obviously the player running the character wasn't fucktarded about it either, as he survived without draining con. I think the DM worked it out well, and from the sound of it, made it pretty fucking epic.

    TL:DR not a gary/mary Sue. Fuck yourself, you get moar that way.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:11 No.1632662
    >>1632641
    It's been that way for a long time, sadly.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:14 No.1632681
    >>1632660

    *slow clap, with single tear*
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:15 No.1632686
    I once played an Elf Assassin who through a series of unfortunate events became protector of a little girl. long story short, we were trapped in an inn surrounded by city watch. I used an axe to bash a hole in the wall large enough for her to slip in and crawl down and out of the inn.

    She cried and didn't want to leave me, but I assured her that we would be reunited. long fight later, I bluffed the guards into thinking I'm one of their wounded but one of them isn't fooled and shoots me in the back of the head just as I was about to make it out. As he gloated in front of me, lit a fuse of a bomb I was carrying and took him with me.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:17 No.1632699
    >>1632686
    gb2bed leon
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:24 No.1632736
    NB4 Sameo.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)01:49 No.1632910
    A while back, in my 2nd campaign, I was playing a sorcerer that turned invisible while flying and reigned down fire into the enemy camp. I killed 4 of the six major enemies in a massive explosion (I died as well)s, because one of 'em killed my wife. 'Twas epic.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:07 No.1633015
    >>1632686
    That is the EXACT plot for the movie Léon, except with an elf instead of an Italian. I find this coincidence too great to believe.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:08 No.1633019
    The last battle of Aerik, Human Barbarian.

    Finally facing his tormentor and arch enemy of a decade, Hector, the High Priest of Pain, Aerik was impaled upon his enemy's cursed lance. Pulling himself along the length of the shaft (ala Arthur in "Excalibur"), Aerik cheated death long enough to plunge his anti-magic sword deep into Hector's chest. The dying enemies were then consumed by the magic energy escaping in Hector's death throes.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:11 No.1633034
         File :1209535898.jpg-(199 KB, 638x938, 1177295327290.jpg)
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    I played a Jester once who was pretty much a fucktard the entire campaign and messed with everyone. One day we discovered a demon army when traveling to a nearby city and decided to warn them of the coming danger. As the other players planned and gathered the militia, the jester calmly spoke, "I can take 'em", they continued planning and ignored the poor Jester.
    He then proceeded to climb into the sky above the demon army with two immovable rods when everyone else was planning. From his belt he dropped shrunken cubes of stone that, as they flew downwards, turned from tiny to large. After defeating about half the army with the three he had from a few hundred feet up, he jumped off his rods and began plummeting downwards towards the incoming demons now bent on destroying him. As the flying demons began their attack, he polymorphed into a pink baleen whale and crushed the remaining remnants of the demon army. The party was astonished when they figured out what that huge bang was outside, and the barbarian started to cry, babbling, "I miss funny man!". I wasn't allowed to make a character in that campaign after that :(
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:15 No.1633052
    >>1633034
    your DM is a dick, that was awesome. If I was your DM you next character would get bonus EXP.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:17 No.1633059
    Caught in a monk's grapple and his mighty strength of 24, my wizard cast blade limb on himself and formed a blade cock. He humped the monk nearly to death before being bearhugged to death.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:17 No.1633060
    >>1633034
    Your DM is a joyless fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:19 No.1633073
    >>1633060
    I can just imagine him "BAWWWWWWWW YOU WHIPPED OUT MY ARMY IN A MANNER I DIDN'T PLAN ON YOU USING YOU CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE"
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:22 No.1633104
    >>1633059

    God, what is with you people and FATAL?
    >> RAWK LAWBSTAR 04/30/08(Wed)02:23 No.1633108
    >>1633104
    I would call that a good idea given the situation
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:24 No.1633113
    >>1633104
    well it fits, I mean he couldn't move much else but I fail to see how a fey dagger could almost kill a monk.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:24 No.1633118
    >>1633073
    Well, to be fair, he warned be before hand that my character was going to die and that it would be a while before I made a new one. Also, we weren't even spossed to fight the army, it was going to be some lame plot device (my guess, deus ex mary sue comes and saves the day). But that doesn't matter, due to the Jester being the only one able to calm down our Frenzied Berserker Barbarian (and the fact that said Barbarians had dreams of the jesters soul trapped in a gem) the entire plot at that point became "SAVE FUNNY MAN".
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:29 No.1633140
    This thread is a shitfest
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:31 No.1633152
    >>1633113
    Did I mention he fathered the dragonraper?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:34 No.1633174
    Not so unique, but my character did die fighting off a horde of goblins in a narrow mountain pass. I allowed my comrades to escape and warn the army, while I was being trampled over by 200 or so pairs of feet.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:40 No.1633199
    Not so heroic death, but it was funny.

    I was falling off a high cliff and was running out of options to save myself, but remembered I had an unidentified magic whistle. I blew on it and it summoned 1,000 armed Orc warriors...who fell to their death with me...many lulz.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)02:49 No.1633244
         File :1209538172.jpg-(409 KB, 1024x2810, storytime.jpg)
    409 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)03:11 No.1633380
    >>1633034

    Ah ha ha ha ha ha, any more?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)04:29 No.1633702
    Not an experience of my own, though the original seemed epic. Hopefully, my horrid descriptions won't make this any less awesome.

    So there's this barbarian traveling with a party. They're in some kind of dungeon, or something, and they're trying to get across this chasm that a few of them actually have the skill to cross. Suddenly, a beholder shows up (or perhaps it was the reason everyone was trying to get across), and things get ugly. Hardly anybody can hit the damn thing, and it's closing in on the guys that manged to cross.

    Suddenly, the barbarian, realising everyone's fucked unless he does something, gets a look of determination, and (making his grapple checks) leaps right onto the beholder as it's leviatating above the chasm of lava. Their combined weight causes the beholder to start sinking, and the beholder's practicalluy screaming for the barbarian to get the fuck off of him. The barbarian holds, even when they both plummet to their firey death.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)05:02 No.1633822
    >>1633702
    zomg
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)05:15 No.1633888
    My Lasombra character had a long-running feud with the Sherrif of the city, and during the climax of the campaign he grabbed the bastard and jumped out of a helicopter. They were both impaled on the trees below, and met the dawn.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)05:19 No.1633913
    >>1633702
    Similar thing happened in one of my games.
    The characters had looted the entire dungeon and were in the last stretch of escape. Two of the characters were literally at maximum encumbrance with coins.

    The exit was a set of floating platforms circling up a cylindrical stone passageway overtop of an underground lake. They started making their way up the platforms when gargoyles attacked. most of the party was bullrushed off the edge, but one character (the one holding a metric shitload of coins) decided he was going to take the gargoyle down with him. Despite the massive encumbrance managed to jump onto the gargoyle, tumble past the AoO, grapple the thing and ride it down to the bottom of the lake.

    That was the last they saw of him and the gargoyle -_-.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)05:21 No.1633918
    >>1633913
    oh, and the rest of the party survived (and escaped with one maximum encumbrance worth of coins.)
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)05:22 No.1633925
    http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=466
    >> MayorHomer 04/30/08(Wed)10:59 No.1634735
         File :1209567552.gif-(550 KB, 278x227, homergun.gif)
    550 KB
    >>1633244

    This one's epic.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)11:05 No.1634756
    NB4 Sameo.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)11:09 No.1634771
    >>1633702
    Ohgod I remember this
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)11:58 No.1634892
    >>1633925
    Manly tears. ;_;
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)12:29 No.1635014
    >>1633925
    My god... it's beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)12:30 No.1635020
    >>1633925
    That was awesome!
    Awesome!
    !!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)12:34 No.1635042
    >>1633034
    I fucking lol'd...

    I've only had one character death. EVER. Somehow.
    I was eaten by the aspect of tiamat... nothing epic...
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)12:38 No.1635060
    >>1633925
    tl;dr but i like the customisation thing...
    >> Balthazarr !!nwQQDePp11/ 04/30/08(Wed)12:45 No.1635088
         File :1209573955.jpg-(163 KB, 500x873, 1206642290563.jpg)
    163 KB
    So my players are running through the wastelands of eastern america, coming across a ghostown at the edge of a lake. We have a native american mage, a wandering Samurai, and Thomas Abraham Hawk(the peyote addicted, on the edge wandering mad max guy)

    Wandering around looking for supplies, they hear motorcycle engines. Intrigued, they wait for the ridfers to pass, realizing they are armored up half man/half machine tech-cyclists. The samurai dives for the nearest abandoned building, dragging the mage with him. Tom stands his ground with his hand on his revolver.

    As the bikers return around the corner, they approach our hero. They ask in a ferocious monoton "WHY-ARE-YOU-HERE" to which tom responds "we are looking for supplies..."

    "HAVE-SOME-BUL-ETS" their leader says, quick drawing a .45 SMG and spraying down the sioux wanderer. Luckily his armored body protects him from mortal wound! unfortunately, his legs are shot nearly clean off at the knees!

    writhing in pain on the ground, he quick draws his shotgun, firing into the leaders torso(but thanks to GURPS this is within the 'killzone' effectively multiplying the armored biker against the buckshot) to no avail! The bikers drive over him, thinking him dead.

    ... okay not so heroic. BUT the bikers didnt kill him. he played dead long enough after the biker rode over his ARMORED CHEST that the party mage was able to stabalize him. now he is just dealing with a .45 lodged in his left femur.
    >> SAGE 04/30/08(Wed)12:49 No.1635106
    My Frenzied Berserker sacrified himself fighting against a horde of enemy soldiers while my party was fleeing, he was the only one who can fight, since is the only one who can stand strong even at -300 hp, he killed all the army, and died in a GAR way after that
    >> Balthazarr !!nwQQDePp11/ 04/30/08(Wed)14:07 No.1635424
    shameless bump for more aweosme
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)14:58 No.1635645
    >>Similarly, immersing a vampire in running water robs it of one-third of its hit points each round until it is destroyed at the end of the third round of immersion.

    Keep this in mind. I was the DM; I threw a newly-made goliath monk vampire at the party while they were in a sewer. They were pretty much getting pwned when the paladin passed his knowledge (religion) check and realised the vampire's weakness. He bullrushed the vampire off a ledge and grappled him in the water. The vampire shouted something about, "LOL I NOT NEEDS 2 BRETH" but then started to take damage from the immersion and was like "WTF HAX".

    The paladin refused to release his grapple and actually succeeded on a Use Rope check (underwater, grappling, getting energy drained like hell) to tie the monk to him with his weapon harness. He died of level drain, but the vampire couldn't drag his armour-weighted corpse to the surface in time and promptly combusted.

    Everyone was like ;_;
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)14:59 No.1635648
    Once had my mage, nearly all his spells spent after a ragged battle, a massive army of thousands heading his way. All he had left was his Deathblow-essentially the ace in the hole for any wizard, the reason not to fuck with one, cause if you kill him, your ass is blown up. Only way it can be triggered, though, is by actually being killed...and suicide isnt an option. So he forces his party members to go on, leaving him in a narrow rocky path, facing off against a few thousand pisse d off orcs humans and assorted baddies, with an oaken staff, and a dagger. He managed by sheer luck to take three out, before being felled by an orcs sword. He began to laugh as he died-not predator,evil laugh, btu heartfelt beelly laughs, like someone had just let him on on some hilarious joke. Triggering his deathblow, he killed nearly a fourth of the horde outright, a few hundred more being crushed in the rockslide the explosion caused, and the rest unable to pass the now blocked pass
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:12 No.1635711
    >>1635648
    Similar story.

    Human mage, spent spells, facing the BBEG and he was a super-orc flying on a dragon. Spent spells, deathblow prepared and the party was taking cover in some rocks. Dragon was well wounded but definitely winning.

    Mage pops out and promptly fires off last fireball, doing little. Follows it by screaming "Eat me you worthless pile of shit." etc etc MIB style. Get eaten and then starts laughing hysterically until he died.

    Party was rained down on by bits of dragon-meat. They all just stood there and stared as the last whisps of fire curled up. The female druid began to cry unconsolably and the dwarven fighter stomped up to where the super-orc had fallen. BBEG had a few hitpoints left, so he proceeded to smash his entire body into pulp while shedding a single, manly tear.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:16 No.1635736
    >>1635711

    That, my friend, is epic.

    Best part about that campaign, was after they had turned the horde back, etc, and beaten the BBEG, they actually took the time to rp out digging out my charas body, and giving him a funeral. it was epic, in a manly tear way.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:19 No.1635747
    It's funny how many spellcasters commit suicide when they're out of spells. Sort of proves a thing if you ask me.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:21 No.1635754
    Russel - Independence Day.

    I don't care if you think the movie sucks, I liked it.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:41 No.1635862
    >>1635711
    One thing that made it especially heart-rending for the players is that the halfling rouge was saying "We're screwed, we're all dead." And the paladin leader had just made a small speech about "We're all going back together! Nobody's dying!" My mage was silent the whole time. It was obvious we weren't going to make it out simply.

    The dwarf had just finally 'admitted' me into friendship, and the entire party was closely knit friends.

    After mage's death they all (four people left) stood in a circle and put their hands in the middle, speaking solemnly: "For Will."

    From that day on (short epilogue RP) they all wore a symbol on their armor/clothing, matching a unique pendent my mage had found in one of the dungeons. They went on to great feats of daring and adventure, never forgetting the death of their friend.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:42 No.1635874
    I sacrificed my force commander to a brood of Genestealers in order to strengthen my troops position. Thing is, due to a string of lucky rolls on my part I actually managed to kill the entire brood (8 in total) par 2 before I died.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:43 No.1635875
    >>1635747

    Yeah, I've seen a few, but it doesn't seem overused, yet.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:47 No.1635898
    Is it wrong that I saw the OP's image and imagined him saying "I love you THIIIIIIIS much!"?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:47 No.1635899
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1632449/
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)15:49 No.1635915
    >>1635899
    Cool.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)16:05 No.1635986
    WFRP.

    Dwarven suicide bomber vest.

    Essentially powderkegs strapped all over his body.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)16:18 No.1636072
    >>1635862
    I was actually banned from dieing for nearly a month because my charas funeral made the DM burst into tears. XD
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)19:57 No.1637601
    >>1635898
    . . .. . . . . . AND IIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUuuuuuUUUUUUUUU
    >> Fexy !Efchz00JLk 04/30/08(Wed)20:20 No.1637680
    >>1633925
    What a shitty DM.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)20:43 No.1637782
    >>1635862
    >>1635711
    >>1633925
    Manly tears ;_;
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)20:55 No.1637848
    So we were fighting this annoying-ass dragon, and it was abusing the hell out of Flyby Attack with spells and breath weapon, and we're a party very, VERY light on casters. We've got one cleric and only like, half a mage.

    We're getting our shit toasted, because even the dedicated archer can't hit the dragon for shit, let alone the guys who aren't dexmonkeys.

    I was trying to do the whole "use my absurd jump score to leap onto the dragon's back and cling to it while attacking", but the dice and the DM weren't with me on that, so I said fuckit.


    I readied an action. On the dragon's next pass, it triggers my readied action, and I jump straight down its fucking gullet.

    The dragon is just fucking fine with this, its innards are probably tougher than I am.

    And then I hit the switch on my fucking Immovable Rod.

    The dragon, which was hasted, goes from 180' per round to 0, courtesy an immovable rod lodged somewhere in its hip region, and takes a shitton of damage.

    I fail utterly to stop with the dragon and go flying at 180'/round out its mouth and slam into a wall.

    The DM's ruling was that the dragon took 36d6 damage (18d6 for the stop of movement, and the same again for the rod ripping through it) and I take 18d6, 1d6 for each 10' of movement rate.

    The dragon didn't die from the damage, but he was stopped within reach of the ground, and died the very next round.
    >> Commissar Iratus 04/30/08(Wed)21:02 No.1637898
    >>1637848
    Oh immovable rod, is there anything you can't do? Besides move, that is.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)21:03 No.1637901
    A swashbuckler I had loved his ship far too much to let it go, as pirates landed aboard him and his fellow adventurers fought to drive them back, but unfortunately for us we were all rolling too low. We're all eventually to low on health and a second ship was getting ready to board so they decide to bail, but not my character. The rest sail away to see the swashbuckler strike down an adjacent pirate just as the other ship starts having men board. He held off eight of the pirate before coming below five health. The escape raft still sailing away he pulls his only loaded flintlock pistol from his waistband and points it at the approaching pirates, who continue to approach. He starts warning them to stay back, but to no avail. He looks out to the sea then back at the pirates. He takes his pistol and pushes it to his temple, the DM had me roll and I got a natural twenty. All the surviving pirates will remember the bullet that went through his skull, ricocheted and killed three of their men.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)21:42 No.1638058
    >>1637901
    I lol'd
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)22:15 No.1638235
    Bump for more stories.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)22:21 No.1638279
    >>1637901
    He killed himself so hard it killed three other people?
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)22:30 No.1638322
    >>1637898

    No, man, push the button and it can do that too. Dude.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)22:57 No.1638498
    Bump for epicness.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)23:02 No.1638535
    I was the only person in my group who didn't have to reroll because I aced all my detect trap checks and the rest of the party chose to ignore me when they opened the chest that contained a swarm of infant Beholders.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)23:04 No.1638552
    >>1638279
    Pretty much, my DM was fairly lenient and always made criticals do something completely insane.
    >> Shas'O Faiz !!oHNZ1QN/tbk 04/30/08(Wed)23:05 No.1638553
    >>1637901

    That gives new meaning to "Become an Hero".

    Someone trick Mythbusters into thinking this is an actual legend, I want to see them play with this and see if it's at all possible.
    >> Anonymous 04/30/08(Wed)23:11 No.1638595
    >>1638535
    I'm using a swarm of infant Beholders in my next dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)01:31 No.1639523
    I was in a game about 5 years ago where, after a long, dragged out dungeon crawl, we had gotten to the BBEG wizard. He'd be ruling over the towns in the area, robbing them blind, and we killed a shitton of bandits to get in.

    We start the fight with him, and it seems to be standard, spread the fuck out, aoe spell fare, when I (a fighter) and the cleric get up into his face, and he unleashes a breath weapon on us. We both let out a 'The f-?' as he turns into a young (fuck if i know his real age) red dragon.

    the party decides we should leave.

    As we try to escape out of the room, (and now the big fucking hole in the roof makes sense) He spreads his wings, laughing about the fact he was going to raze the town we just came from for sending us. The Gm clearly planned on us trying to get to them first, and half way through him explaining how we can't use tricks to run out, the whole party, with just a look at each other, turn around and rush the dragon.

    The GM, telling us how stupid we are, starts beating the hell out of me and the cleric, while the ranger and mage shoot the fuck out of him. The cleric and I manage to climb onto the fucker as he starts to take off and he does all sorts of acrobatics to try and throw us off.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)01:32 No.1639528
    >>1639523

    Realizing he's getting fucked up since he's still in range of the ranger and mage (who at this point has sunk his entire spell list into the bastard), he goes strait up until he's out of range. When he passes the hole in the roof, the cleric, seeing no where else to fall, hops off, but i refuse, i'm a little pissed. At this point I'm hanging on for dear life from my sword that's stuck in his back. He starts talking sense, trying to get me to stop attacking and he'd land, he's hurt to fuck. I refuse as it would be dishonorable to let him live when I swore I'd stop him. (hey, i'm not stupid, but he kills alot of people and there's that damn 'LG' on my alignment).

    The Dragon spins a few more times as I get stabs in with my dagger, and finally throws me off. I have two rounds to react. I think to tie a rope to the arrow, but my pack is on the ground, way the fuck under us. I say fuck it, notch and arrow, and fire a parting shot at him. Get a 4 damage, and i have my nose pressed to my character sheet, trying to figure what I can do.

    The GM, and he's a friend of mine, would have just let my ass die there. He's not fond of losing BBEG's to dumb players, and I was being stupid, I could have let go before he got to high. His girlfriend however, who's been reading her books for class this whole time, is sitting right behind him and apparently looked up to catch the drama. She looks over his shoulder, and points out "The dragon had 3 hp left, you killed him by one." The GM glares at her, but sighs and says "The arrow apparently hits something vital, as the dragon stops flapping his wings, and goes into a nose dive."

    I laughed all the way to the ground, where the fall damage broke me in half.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)02:29 No.1639801
    I was playing Risk, and we were down to two players. I was holed up in Australia and the other guy was everywhere. He focused all his troops in Asia, and then rushed Indonesia. All my guys died bar one.

    Through cheer luck of the dice, my one guy (occasionally reinforced by a pair of plebs who disappeared as soon as they were created) held off over one hundred attackers before we finally decided that the game had gotten too ridiculous to continue.
    >> That Damn Mouse 05/01/08(Thu)02:31 No.1639806
    >>1639801

    Lesson; Don't fuck with Australians.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)12:27 No.1641494
    bump for epic
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)12:43 No.1641573
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    >>1639528
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)12:44 No.1641580
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    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)12:52 No.1641616
    >>1632541
    Except you can't cast wish in a single round you cunt.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)12:56 No.1641635
    >>1641616

    ...why you gotta be like that?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:00 No.1641659
    Was playing a giant robot (gundam esque) setting. The very final session of the campaign, the republic and the Dominion (as the bad government was called) got into an all out war. Our mechs are screaming around the battlefield trying to avoid enemy fire.

    My friend gets both of his arms shot off. so his mech is just hanging there. At which point base is like "come in for repairs" he just goes "fuck that"
    "I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL"
    And he dumps the remaining fuel in his mech into the boosters and by sheer luck of the dice manages to break the capital ships shield, crashes into the bridge and his power core detonates and destroys the entire fucking capital ship completely fucking over enemy communication channels and crippling morale beyond repair.

    The best part was the DM told us that we were supposed to loose that fight, and that we had cut the campaign in half.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:01 No.1641668
    >>1641635
    Because your a fucking shitty GM, and any mage who could cast wish wouldn't "chasing" orcs.
    They would have merely WISHED THE PRINCE BACK.
    So your players are fucking retarded, your encounters are retarded, you don't know how to play the game and you should fucking uninstall.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:06 No.1641698
    >>1641616

    yeah, because he's blatantly using the mage rules straight out the book.

    OH SHIT, SOMEONES USING SOMETHING OTHER THAN OFFICIAL PUBLISHED MATERIAL, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO?!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:07 No.1641703
    I do believe this thread is made of EPIC with a side order of Win, garnished with a little Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:09 No.1641711
    >>1641659
    >loose

    You were supposed to make the fight less tight?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:09 No.1641715
    >>1641698
    maintain that he's a shitty DM, and that his players are backwards-ass retarded cunts
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:16 No.1641755
    >>1633199

    KoDT rip off.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)13:18 No.1641764
    >>1641715
    He is a fine GM, and you are a shitty troll 3/10.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)14:10 No.1641944
    >>1641616
    lolwut? Last I checked Wish is a standard action to cast. You can do that shit in the surprise round if needed.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)14:14 No.1641979
    Had a Champion of Death once who tried at every possible opportunity to have a heroic death. The larger and more unbalanced the opposition, the more likely he was to rush it head on, swords swinging. I really didn't expect the character to live very long.

    So naturally nothing the GM threw at us could kill the crazy bastard. He got dropped into negative HP more times than I can count, but for some reason our healers never got tired of pulling him back from the brink.

    Eventually the GM moved away, ending the game before my poor Champion could go out in a blaze of glory.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)14:38 No.1642088
    >>1641979
    I've got one.
    Well, not a death story, close enough though.
    I had a character, Duskblade I think (PHBII), in a lvl 1 Anauroch campaign (for the record, FUCK the Anauroch).

    My DM is a good friend of mine, and we swap DMing from campaign to campaign. We also make a habit of killing one another, as we are both hyper competitive.

    So this campaign, our characters are in some city at the edge of the desert trying to hunt down the local villain. He's been blowing up/burning down buildings in the city, and the populace has had enough.

    I was the first of the party to catch on to the BBEG's scheme, and caught him in an alley with a dead guard putting on the guy's outfit. As a lvl 1 character, and alone to boot, the fight was understandably brief.

    I was at -1 hp with no healer within blocks as there was a mansion on fire on the other end of town.
    I rolled to stabilize 8 times. Not a single roll was lower than a 50.
    The ninth roll? 04.

    The character stabilized at -9 hp, and was eventually found and healed.

    Flash forward two sessions. Disappointed at my survival, the DM decides it would be just hilarious to send an undead Wyvern at the party (still, mind you, lvl 1). Six rounds of combat had my party running away like pussies, with me the last soul still fighting. The Wyvern's at no more than 30 hp. I think I had like 3.

    The Wyvern's next hit left me at precisely 0 hp, but the DM failed it's notice roll, so it assumed I was dead and took of after everyone else.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)14:52 No.1642142
    >>1642088
    I was found by some minions of the BBEG while the party was being hunted by the Wyvern, and taken to his underground fortress to work as a slave. As a slave, I was given three strikes. Every time I collapsed in the mine it was a strike against me.

    Needless to say, a base DC of 15 that increases every other hour is nearly impossible to beat repeatedly and I certainly didn't. I had two strikes and a DC of like 22 when I finally decided I'd had enough.

    Duskblades get a spell, I can't recall the name, but the only material component is ash. You shoot a small fire shot with it. Underground + torches = ash, so there was plenty to go around, right? I took out three of the lizard minion creatures before the real guards came...

    and were succinctly slaughtered by my fellow slaves' picks and shovels. Some 20 or so of us (me and 19 NPCs :P) cut a path to the outdoors, stealing giant lizard mounts and supplies as we went along. Maybe 6 of us escaped, but I was still alive.

    Me 3, DM 0.

    The last session that particular group played (I rejoined the crew the session after my grand escape) we were in some catacombs trying to open up an apparently sealed well. The well room had some crazy ass water elemental thing going on.... the DM had obviously tailored it to kill me. Couldn't be hurt by slashing weapons (+1 longsword was usless), was immune to fire magic (again, my specialty), and could grapple and drown characters. As a desert humanoid, do you think I could swim? (short answer: No.)
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)14:53 No.1642144
    >>1642142

    The water thing had some unhealthy obsession with me, and so about 4 rounds into the combat I was getting drowned, crushed, etc. The party was trying to help me out, but we had only one magical blunt weapon (a +1 quarterstaff I think) and the druid was scared to shoot lighting at the elemental- he didn't want to fry me.

    At some point the DM made the mistake of having the elemental suck the blunt weapon into its body; I assume he thought he was removing a source of damage, but all he really did was give me a weapon.

    Duskblades have another spell called Blade of Blood that allows them to take off their own health to add damage to their weapon. I was at low health, but willing to make the sacrifice I scratched off the majority of my remaining hp and swung the quarterstaff for like 3d^ damage or somesuch. I critted and rolled about max- just enough to kill the creature.

    Its body flooded up out of the well and back into the shadow plane (or some bullshit; stupid DM) and my body fell into the hole with it.

    My next character, introduced later that session, was a gay halfling bard with a lisp. That particular campaign ended in a hurry.

    Take that, DM.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)17:43 No.1643035
    >>1642144
    You have a fucking terrible DM.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)18:36 No.1643284
    >>1642144
    Why do you play in a campaign where the DM targets you repeatedly?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)18:41 No.1643308
    >>1643284
    He noted that they both like to try and kill each other when they take turns DMing.

    So I think it's less terrible DM and more murder between friends.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)18:43 No.1643319
    >>1632449
    BETTY, H-HE'S STILL ALIVE BETTY ...
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)18:47 No.1643347
    Playing a homebrew setting based off D20 modern, our GM had the villain being able to reflect all damage dealt to him back onto our group (some mad scientist bullshit).

    Any way, my character steps forward and yells "Yeah, well I bet you aren't expecting this!" before putting his shotgun in his mouth and blowing his own head off.

    I was positive our DM was going to make it so the reflector link was two-way as his cliche weakness, but it turns out my guy just shot himself in the head at the campaign's climax.
    >> d20modernfag 05/01/08(Thu)18:57 No.1643387
    >>1643347
    I lol'd for about an entire minute.

    That ranks up there above a campaign I did where one session a player took up sniping to cover the rest of the team. Missed every shot (never rolled higher than a 12). I was busy investigating other things so I failed to notice the reason. The party was running away from the explosion they'd just set off and the sniper started to shoot again to let them get away. Someone turns to look at him. "Dude, have you been rolling a d12 the entire game?" He had.

    Not that it has anything to do with heroic deaths.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)18:57 No.1643393
    In b4 skubhammer, etc.

    My IG forces were getting hit hard by 'nids but the allied SM army (6,000 points a side, 3k IG 3k Marines) was nearly in control of their side. The 'nid guy is left with about 4,000 of his points. Mostly on my side due to bad scatter rolls.

    Anyways, the situation is desperate and I figure it's time to go out with a bang (it was probably 1-2 turns from utter annihilation). My veteran sergeant had the HOnorifica Imperialis and a power weapon, so I'm like "lol, charge the Zoanthrope". It's reduced to 1 wound. I curse now because now there are two full squads of hormagaunts bearing down on my ass in his turn. Assault phase comes up, and veteran squad is massacred utterly... Except for the sergeant with 1 wound. With his pathetic s3 power weapon, he hits and wounds the Zoanthrope, killing it and is promptly torn to shreds. Both 'nid player and myself realize at this point that his turn is now over and fully half his remaining forces are in range of my Earthshaker and Leman Russes.

    It rained 'nids.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)19:10 No.1643470
    Just last weekend I played in a D20 Modern "super-spy" RPG set in Jamaica in the 70s. Our group tracked down the evil henchman to his volcano lair, and (after pretty much destroying it), were able to board his escaping submarine.

    Just as the sub was pulling out, launch tubes began opening all over the sub, and missiles began to prepare for launch. Our strongman/demo expert was closest to the hatch, and dove down to confront the evil Baron. After a brief fight filled with terrible dice rolls (on both sides), the Baron laughed and made a break for a large red button. The demo thought quickly, pulled out his DETCORD WHIP (which we had all ridiculed him for making), lassoed the Baron, and hit the detonator.

    The GM was so impressed that he promised the character would come back as a cybord supervillian later on.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)19:50 No.1643677
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    >>1639528
    pic related
    >> Anonymous 05/01/08(Thu)20:48 No.1644037
    >>1641979
    similiar to above

    had a young beefcake LG PC who thanks to a couple of strange events in his childhood thought that he was a long lost prince of a kingdom far, far away when he really was a poor farmers son.

    thus he was traveling around the world trying to find the fabled country of "beyondland" (sounds better in swedish)

    eventually the group and he got honour-bond to a young noble woman of political importance, she then got kidnapped by the mega-BBEG so we had to follow her and after a while wandered in to a misty dimension-lapse where we meet one of the Gods of death. fortuantly he did not find us to annoying and decided to play with os for a bit. he basicly gave us the choice between losing our greatest ability or fight his guarddog (who only had gotten beaten twice before ever)

    because we where rather lowlevel and most of the party where either cowards or sneaky bastard, they choose to lose their ability.
    my guy had a epic speech about not fearing death, and the charged right on.
    After a long ass fight he ,griveously wounded, cut the beast's head of.

    we then continued the adventure for quite some time, and reached the showdown with the BBEG, when the Deathgod showed up and said
    "LOL tables have turned , you have to kill the noble woman or you all get tormented forever in hell"
    the rest of the group choose to obey him, but my PC shouted;
    "fuck you, I fear not death nor pain, bring it on!"
    I was teleported away and the group went to the final battle.
    unforetunalty it all went pretty sour and within a couple of minutes they where all dead, with the exeption of the priest who with his last breath cried out: "I now understand, we could never win this battle, because we lost when we sacrificed our honour for fear of dying, only Cedrik (my PC) could best this battle!"

    dues the BBEG won and the whole story ended in failure (which we had spent about 2 years on)

    Yes, my DM is a dick


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