>>1640369
>>itt, why 40k is a dice-luck game for fat men-children who refuse to grow up since they're afraid of reality

>>1640373

Well what are you doing here?

>>1640373
2500 point BFG game vs Chaos
2 Dominator Cruisers + Mars Battlecruiser

3 Direct Nova Cannon hits on turn 1. 2 on a Despoiler, 1 on a Styx.

Chaos player shits himself, my boys get triple rations for that fine gunnery.

1000 pt. game against space marines.

Kasrkin squad was shot up and only the veteran sergeant survived. the inquisitor lord went back to him to rally him with his Iron Will. They then went and killed a scout squad, massacred them and charged the 5 man terminator command squad and whiped them all out. the kasrkin died but the inquisitor lived. I rewarded the Kasrkin with an Honourifica Imperialis

>>1640383
love can bloom porn, faggot

4 way battle to control a central point on the map

eldar and chaos fought each other, leaving guards to deal with a mass of nids

the last surviving guard squad charged the objective, but reached it at the same time as a genestealer squad... of about 20.

they got massacred down to one man who held out for another turn alone. Then came the fire support. The guard fired his leman battle cannon at the squad with the centre on the guard himself. DIRECT HIT.

When the smoke cleared, only the guard remained and every genestealer was now chunky salsa. Lucky git.

OH, and I forgot to say. Same batle as OP. It was a 2v2, and the enemy also had Space Marines. Their termie commander took a lot of crap. His unit was washed over by a half dozen burnaz, shot at my rockets, and assaulted by a squad of Striking Scorpions. (Eldar, of all people, were my allies)

Only lost one termie friend to the burnaz, thankfully that same Ork unit killed a dreadnought, unsurprisingly resulting in an area of explosion that did more damage to the burna Boyz than anything else. (I'm unlucky around vehicles)

Survived the rocket hit, and handed the Eldar their asses on platters.

I forget what else, but at least 2 other units hit him really hard. I swear, he had enough potential wounds to take out a platoon of guardsman and the fucker wouldn't quit.

Necron and Space marines won at the end. Buy did they earn it.

Unit of conscripts, lead by a Commissar, are charged by a Bloodthirster of Khorne.

Hold it for 5 goddamn turns.

Then kill it on the last turn of the game, last goddamn die roll.

How come this epic shit never happens to me

In a campaign battle it was several armies of Chaos versus Space Marine factions led by a large army of Grey Knight centric Daemonhunters (I forget the exact point cost). But any way it was a loss on our side but the last surviving soldier was my very own Thousand Son sorcerer who was ganged up on by about ten Grey Knight terminators who bashed him to death with their powerfists which is a pretty epic death if you ask me.

>>1640669

this is motherfucking awesome.


My story. Sorry, fantasy only.

Wood Elves vs. Dwarves. Around turn 2 the Miners pop out.
FYI, Dwarven miners have a random chance of appearing basically wherever the dwarven player wants them to every round. round 2 is the earliest they can arrive.
So, they appear BEHIND my army, and a unit of 5 archers with no armor, toughness 3 and a hand weapon are charged from behind by an unit of 15 melee fighters with great weapon, heavy armor and toughness 4.

Four archers are killed on the spot. The unit captain survives and counterattacks on the enemy unit's captain, with his single WS 4, S 3 attack.

He kills him, and holds the dwarves for just long enough for me to charge them with dryads from BOTH FLANKS.

I had a marine sergeant with a thunder hammer once, who killed a dreadnought and a tank (and lots of marines), and got tangled up with the other teams force commander, but got killed in the last turn of the game.

I made a captain which looks like him with bionics, because he survived and got promoted, says me.

One of the first games I played was my Orks against my mate's Witch Hunters. The battle was unimaginably bloody, to the point where at the beginning of turn 6, there were two models left: his Inquisitor Lord and one shoota boy Nob. The Lord took one wound off the Nob, the Nob hit back and killed him. Warboss in the making that guy.

A single unit of dark eldar wyches that ate through 4 carnifex's before getting gangbanged by a tyrant with guard.

They single handedly ate an entire flank of the nidzilla army.

The most badass squad of Guardsmen ever. They shot down a squad of Chaos Marines and then survived an assault by three Posessed. I converted the models into my Veteran squad, but they've never performed to that standard again.

1500 point, my tau vs Witchhunters.

Turn 1, an excorsist lays down the most brutal artillery barrage I've ever witnessed, taking out 2 of my 3 broadsides, a fist full of firewarriors, and reducing my huge damn kroot squad to a shaper and 4 hounds.

Turn 2: Broadside one shots the excorsist with railguns and fucks up a celestian squad with smart missiles. Kroot press foward into some cover.

They are then charged by a full squad of Sisters Repentia, whom they stop cold, losing only one hound to the 3 sisters they killed. His entire column of troops depended on taking out that squad, but they held for 2 more turns while my few surviving troops (Including a hammerhead) decimate the rest of his army from a short distance. Had that 5 model squad been lost, I would have been crushed.

1k Guard vs. Necrons.

Veterans trying up Flayed Ones for 4 turns.

>>1640839
It's >>1640810 here. I take it back. My Guardsmen are pussies compared to yours.

2000 point between my eldar and SPESS MEHREENS years ago.
My friend had just gotten a land raider and this was his first battle using it. My wraithlord Hhit it in the first turn with a bright lance, then rolled consecutive sixes.
The resultant destruction caused the raider wreckage to land on his command squad, wiping out most of it.

>>1640423

No support of 40k?

GTFO

>>1640892

That has to be one of the best compliments i've ever recieved.

And it hurts me inside to realise that sad truth.

But, enough emotional garbage.

A squad of dire avengers are charged by a METRIC FUCKTONNE OF KROOTHOUNDS, AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM DIES, except for the exarch.

He manages to hold them off for three, then on the fourth turn, he wins combat. And makes sweeping advance.

>>1640919
That was a fairly epic game, for the Eldar.

>>1640922

y helo thar

Feel like playing some Vassal?

Happened to my opponent, but still epic nonetheless.

400 pt. my Eldar vs his IG, I had 10 Dire Avengers and I was testing out my new Dark Reapers.

Random-ass guardsman with a flamer proceeds to peek around a corner at my Avengers, wipe out over half the squad, which then proceeds to be annihilated by the remaining flashlights in that guardsmen blob. The guardsmen then advanced on my Dark Reapers, me taking out a good chunk of them every turn. Only the flamer guy was left, but he had a commissar behind him, so he wasn't running away. Two DR's left, every damn to-wound roll was a 1, flamer guy pwns my dark reapers.

The flamer guy now has an Eldar knife stuck in his base, as well as a Tau head from an earlier game. After that 400 pt game, we played a huge game and my Dire Avengers were too clustered up and got pwned by the same fucking flamer guy.

Three-way game, Tau vs Witch Hunters vs Orks.

A 20-strong unit of kroot gets flamed by an immolater with 4 flamer-toting sisters riding inside, and then charged by arco flagellants. The unit is eliminated down to just the Shaper remaining, who miraculously passes his morale check.

That shaper went on to kill two arco-flagellants single-handedly before getting the hell out of there, with one of the remaining ones self-destructing as they attempted to chase him down. They caught him eventually, and he died about 5 times over once that happened, but he went out in an epic fashion.

It bears mentioning that I'd previously modded this particular shaper to be a bare-fisted pugilist. He's slated for a monocle, now.

>>1640930
Any other week, I'd be all over that. I'm taking a break after an entire morning of last-minute flash-design work, which will be due in about 3 1/2 hours.

Once the semester's over I'm thinking a rematch is in order.

There was a clicky-tech tournament I was in for the release of The Jade Falcon Expansion (Don't remember the name of it.). Anyways, everyone was trying to get a beacon from the center of the table and bring it back to their dropships. Easy enough, right?
Well. We fielded our shit (I had a Sphinx, A Buggy, and Two Marksman Tanks.), and begin bookin' it to the center. Fights break out, and soon enough, the guys near me decide to join forces and fight. WELL. My Sphinx had NONE of their shit. ALL their attacks missed. I retaliated with Full Pulse damage. After a few rounds of this, I had removed a Thunderbolt and a Mad Cat from the field, only to have to Chase down the Biker with the beacon. Ran up to it, Killed the Biker, Snagged the Beacon, and Ran like fuck back to my home base. One guy's Warhammer nearly stopped me, but last-minute Pulse Damage is loads of awesome.

My single plague marine champion held off 40+ orkz in CC after his squad, and the two adjoining squads, were slaughtered. He got three kills every turn with his plague sword

>>1640963
Also, I had obtained a Long Tom Artillery as one of the prizes for that match. LTA has a Range of 48". So, being a smartass, I drove it to the edge of the table, pulled out the measuring tape, and fired onto another game.
They asked the Manager if that was allowed.
"Is it in range?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Then it's allowed."
I Nailed one of their BA's pretty good.

This was a second ed. game, Orks vs. Chaos. The guy I was playing with was retarded and had like 3 squads of heavy weapons guys in a bunker. I proceeded to wipe out half his army with one pulsa rokkit.

1000pt chaos vs tau. I shove my chaos land raider in his eye. I named it Eyeburster and painted the front like a bloody eyeball.

fukkin hate weaboos.

My standard infiltrating Space Marine army fighting Nidzilla.

One of my tactical squads was assaulted by a carnifex with 2 wounds left and half a squad of Genestealers. The opponent kept rolling for shit, and as did I until I finally landed two wounds on the carnifex, and he failed the saves. Then I killed the Genestealers but had my squad killed down to one man.

However, that is nowhere near as epic as when I saw a squad of regular guardsman slaughter a broodlord and it's full retinue, which got the charge.

>>1640963
gtfo clickfaggot. your shitty piles of prepainted garbage aren't welcome here.

My two best were both pretty much the same thing.

In a tourny way back in the day a Eldar player (after the battle he was thrown out for cheating BTW) managed to jetbike/cheat/bullshit my entire 2000 point Chaos army on the first turn, killing every model besides unsummoned deamons but one before could even move.

Unfortunately my last model, a Sorcerer Lord on a disk did not take the mark of Khorne so my blood thirster was useless. I have the gurrillia war victory conditions which saved my ass.

That one guy got into hand to hand on my first turn and never left for 7 turns. At the end i had victory points worth nearly 3X his entire armies value, all he had left was the remnants of his farseers bodyguards who were broken and running. Fucking awesome.

The other time was at a touny as well, way back when the first under book had came out. 1500k game, one my first turn i managed to charge a unit of skaven slaves with a mounted liche using a chaos tomb blade.

1 Vanhel's dance macabe later and i wiped out the whole unit when it broke. This was before a minor flaw with that item was officially fixed mind you, so after killing all 40 slaves with the tomb blade i was holding the entire goddamn magic deck. I killed his entire army with spells in that single magic phase.

Amusingly i won the turny which was the exact day the white dwarf came out that specified that fleeing models don't count with the tomb blade. Hehehe....

>>1641022
So I suppose the better tale is the victory with the Marauder IIC, who took copious advantage of the rules for going prone to hide behind dunes and tackle opponents.

>>1641042
there is no redeeming your failure. Beg the Emperor for forgiveness, knowing that you will never have it.

>>1640731
by my calculations you lost that combat by 9... how did your archer not flee?

Fantasy only

This happened recently. My dark elves (lots of dark riders) against my friend's woodies (lots of shooting).
As my other 4 units of driders are getting slaughtered by longbows on turn 2, the 5th dark riders with my mounted general take a Hail of Doom Arrow from an alter noble. The standard bearer and my noble survive.
Next welf turn the alter charges the unit and overkills my general with 5 Ws7 S6 attacks. The drider standard deals him one wound, breaks him and runs him down. Later she is the last dark rider standing on her side of the table.
It was 1 noble wound(all I had left)/42p short of a massacre for my buddy. Nice game.

>>1640824
>Turn 1, an excorsist lays down the most brutal artillery barrage I've ever witnessed, taking out 2 of my 3 broadsides, a fist full of firewarriors, and reducing my huge damn kroot squad to a shaper and 4 hounds.

EXORCISTS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!

>>1640824
Exorcists can only attack one target. I'm pretty sure only certain tau models and super heavies can attack multiple targets.

My greatest achievement was with my wraithlord way back near the beginning of 3rd ed.

In a period of 3 turns he killed over 80 Dark Eldar and downed 2 raiders.

He began by shooting down the archons raider and charging the reminants. The Archon OD'ed and the wraithlord swept into a homoculus. In the Dark Eldar turn he finished off the homoculus. My next turn he flamed the hell out of a 20 man and charged another. It fled in the Dark Eldars turn and in my turn he shot down another raider and charged another 20 squad that broke and ran.

Another funny feat that happend just the other day was with my skaven vs my friends all giant spider and wolf rider list. My two tunneling teams (5 man teams with poison) come in on turn 3, scatter away from the units he has placed to trap/counter charge them and they both flank charge his 18 strong wolfrider unit. They kill 7 guys and the unit runs off the board due to a roll of a 15 for distance taking the gobbo general on a giant spider with them.

A couple of mine.

I've mentioned this before, but the sorcerors in my Thousand Sons squads generally perform better than my generals. On two occasions, the same sorceror has killed a nurgle daemon prince in one round of combat.

I've also seen a Chaos Lord of Slaanesh in Terminator Armour, with Lightning Claws end up with one wound, and then next turn take the fire of two squads of Dire Avengers, using their bullshit that lets them all shoot twice in one turn. Something like 80 shots. He survives, then goes on to massacre one of the squads.

Had a squad of 7 plague marines hold off 20 Boyz, and then a full Nob squad as well, until my berzerkers and posessed joined the fight and murdered the orks in the face.

Finally, in a team battle. My team was Chaos (me), Chaos, and Orks. They had Sisters of Battle, Eldar, Black Templar. My defiler (Bob) and the Ork's warboss started at opposite ends of the battlefield, and ended up meeting in the center. My defiler had four vehicle kills, his warboss (with powerklaw) had three. Between them, a rhino. I wanted to get that last kill, so I used my battlecannon. Which scattered right onto the warboss. And didn't even scratch him. So I let him kill that rhino. And then, he consolidated right next to my defiler, so it looked like they were high fiving. Four vehicles each, badass.

>>1641467

RHINOS!

>>1640731He kills him, and holds the dwarves for just long enough for me to charge them with dryads from BOTH FLANKS.

this sounds like something that would happen in DWARFS FARTRESS

I was in a small 500 pt battle vs. eldar. I had a chaplain as my HQ, my opponent had a farseer (both LD 10). The farseer decided to mind-war my chaplain. Farseer rolls 6, chaplain rolls 1 and squiks. I had infiltrated a unit of scouts with sniper rifles on the top of a spire, basically non-assaultable. He shoots 4 out of 5 of the snipers. The brave little guy makes his last man standing test. The farseer decides to try to take him out as he's a pest and uses mindwar again. Scout survives, and makes another last man standing test. and wins another mind war, and another last man standing test. I'm promoting him the moment I find a loose SM sniper rifle.

two instances, recently, one for and one against me. Both were 10k point apocalypse games. I play Chaos Marines and my opponent was Guardsman, for reference.

For -

Coming down to the last turn of a "capture several objectives" game. A squad of chaos marines had been holding a vital objective for the entirety of the game, being shot at from all directions. Through attrition, there were 5 left, which was the minimum I needed to hold the objective. One death and the squad would have been below half, and the objective would have become neutral. This was the lynchpin, because essentially the other objectives were being held solid by either myself, or my opponent, and this last one was a make-or-break. The Guardsman had the bottom of the turn and they pointed all available guns at the Chaos Marines. This included full fire from 3 Leman Russ', two units of flishlight boys, and a handful of fire support missle launchers. Luckily, my boys were in cover. Made every save from every shot, winning the game. They have been upgraded to chosen, with several guardsman heads on spikes.

Against -
Playing another game where we must capture objectives. I was holding an objective with a full squad of terminators with an icon of Khorne. Colonel Schaeffer and his little squad come waltzing in the building, in a desperation move to unseat the termies. Before he was in range to assault, I got a round of fire, blowing apart the entirety of his squad, leaving him alone. He assaults, with what I can only consider suicidal blood lust, and proceeds to KILL. EVERY. SINGLE. KHORNE. TERMINATOR. IN. HAND. TO. HAND. BY. HIMSELF.

I couldn't stop him. I could only watch and cry over those savage, brutal turns as terminator dropped after terminator.

SHAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEFRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!!!!

>>1641691
NONE MORE PURE

>>1641691

lol srry

>>1641771

I think Schaeffer is a pretty cool guy. eh assaults termies an doesn't afraid of anything.

just last week a quick 1000 pt my eldar v.s. death wing space marines.

big assult brawl in the middle of the table between a squad of his termies, his HQ, and a vinny dredgenaught v.s. my farseer and a 7 man squad of dire avengers. the round of combat goes down like this his HQ and naught were in combat agaist my farseer and avengers already. his termis charged my dire squad and kill only 2 guys. next my farseer attacks the naught rolling a penetrating hit and a 5 on the chart. because it vinirable my friend makes me reroll i comes up a 6 vehical explodes. the blast some how kills 2 termies (bad rolling on my friends half). i direct my dire's attacks to the HQ 2 wounds go through a reg and a dire sword hit he saves the reg and fails the dire sword...and fails the leadership to not instanly die. the remaning termies are out numbered take wounds from know no fear and are widdled down to 1 who is eaten on my assult phase.

BUMP for more awesome stories

>>1640939
watched this game, and I think that flamethrower guardsman is going to run out of space for trophies soon.

- A small combat patrol game, the opener for a campaign which is still in progress, against the previously mentioned imp guard player.

400 pts of my chaos vs 500 points of imp guard

the storyline - the aspiring champion leading this patrol has discovered an artifact of unknown nature, and is attempting to return it to the local chaos warphole / cultist hangout on a backwater imperial world, when SUPRISE imp guard patrol. This fight would determine who was in possession of said artifact , and that would determine the course of events in the campaign.

trying to keep the fluff with the idea of a small, stealthy chaos presence (rather than a big warband), my army consisted of 24 mutants, 10 generic lesser daemons, led by a 5 man bread and butter chaos marine squad. my opponent field something like 3 autocannon teams, two squad of guardsmen, a command squad, and a pair of lascannon-equipped sentinels

well, game opens and my horde begins the only tactic it really knows - run towards the enemy while shouting obscenities. early guard fire takes down a few mutants, daemons pop, and one round of autocannon fire later i've lost 5 of the 10. guardsmen finish off 3 more. the remaining 2 assault the guardsmen, scoring no kills, and are sent back into warpspace with their tails between their legs.

the mutants, meanwhile, have come under heavy fire just short of assault range, and decide to turn tail and run with the 10 of 24 they have remaining, leaving 5 chaos marines to tangle with the 20 or 30 imp guard still on the table. Well, a string of assault phases and good flamer work later, i've failed every armor save i've been called on to make but one; b ut i've wiped the guard off the table except for the pair of sentinels, now cowering in the far corner of the map. the two surviving marines, including the champion, begin the slow 3 turn crawl across the table toward them, under lascannon fire. Only the champion lives by the time he assualts the two sentinels, and his power fist means he's gotta survive (keep in mind my armor save luck so far) their hits before he can strike. the dark gods intervene and roll some 1's to wound for the imp guard player, and the Champion tears his way through both sentinels, and finds himself standing alone on the table.

he got some flash for that little encounter.

>>1641691

Schaeffer is my favorite special character in the game, and I don't even play Guardsmen. His stats, special squad style, and general policy of brass balls making up for lack of high tech all make him the closest thing to Samuel L Jackson with a Laspistol.

Though Boss Zagstruk and his ability to hit that like the fist of an angry god is pretty damned cool too. If my friends start allowing special characters (most of them dislike the idea and think they're imbalanced) I'll put him to use and I'm sure there will be some fun stories to be shared.

>>1640669
No

2000 point Goblins(me) vs Wood Elves. My opponent puts his Way Watchers in a forest right next to my big fat unit of Night Goblins. Since the elves "appeared" within 8" my fanatics had to pop out in random directions. These directions included right through 2 wolf chariots, my squigs, and a giant. He took out roughly 500 points of my army before the 1st turn.

I've only played...3? Games total so far with my Guard army. A friend and I were going 500pt Guard vs Nids. Since I haven't gotten many models yet, I was using regular Guardsmen to counts-as Kasrkin models. The battle is pretty one-sided - my Hellhound rapes one of his Genestealer squads and my GK allies + Command Squad shoot the hell out most of the rest of his force. That leaves his one Genestealer squad.

His remaining Genestealers run completely around the terrain so that I can't get many shots off. I pull my Kasrkin squad on that side back from them just enough that I can get a volley off before they're in melee. I take out two Genestealers. That leaves 8 of them charging into melee with 6 Kasrkin (due to losses from his HQ shooting them). During the charge, I lose 4 more models and he saves against all my hits.

3 turns later, my Sarge and remaining Kasrkin wipe the blood off their blades and the board is covered with Nid corpses.

They're now both Veteran Sergeants for my Kasrkin.