”Oh, true true lad” said Elminster and re-stuffed his pipe. ”Now, I can’t claim to have the sort of fame ye do, but I can sympathize. It appears that when people talk of the Realms, ye or I are the first thing on their minds. Nobody will start off a conversation about Faerun with ’Did ye hear what Storm did?’ or ’So I was reading about the latest adventure of Minsc’… As popular as the other heroes and villains are, it seems we two have become the centerpieces. And naturally, as fame works that leaves us rather exposed to public scrutiny.” The old man guffawed, and blew another series of smoke rings, this time forming into faint smoky letters.

Drizzt nodded. ”That does sound plausible. I mean, my original adventure in the icewind dale wasn’t really as much my story as it was Wulfgar’s, and we all know how that turned out. Frankly, I would have been content to stay as his sidekick”

”A bit late now, mmm?”

”Of course. And before you ask, no, no time travel. It only leads to misery.”

Elminster laughed. ”I was not going to offer, but that is fine and well. Messing with the past is a bad idea in general”

Drizzt smiled faintly, then the smile faded to his usual, weary look, a look he didn’t usually display. ”I suppose I just wish I could take a break from fame now and then. Fame and infamy, both.”

Elminster quirked a gnarled, silvery eyebrow. ”Do ye really? Well… why didn’t ye say so?”

Drizzt looked over with some surprise at the old sage. ”What do you mean?”

Elminster stood up with a surprisingly nimble leap, his face bearing a silly grin. ”What ye need is a vacation, lad. A vacation from being Drizzt. And I have just the thing for that!” Pipe trailing smoke behind him, he headed towards a side door, waving Drizzt along. The dark elf stood up nimbly and followed Elminster through the doorway, puzzled. On the other side was a comfortable bedroom with a closed window and several large dressers, as well as a small toilet area. Elminster strode over to one of the dressers as soon as Drizzt had entered, and pulled it open.

The ranger recoiled and hissed, reaching for his swords.

Elminster looked over at him. Then understanding dawned. ”Oh no no! They’re not –real-. Not the way ye think. I’m not taking to skinning people in my old age. No no. These are Guises. They’re everyday Polymorphs, for everyone! While wearing one ye are totally undetectable as your normal self!”

Drizzt relaxed slightly, approaching. ”Are you saying…”

”Yes, yes. Why, if you were wearing one of these, you could be –anyone-. You’d definently not have to carry the burden of being do’Urden” Drizzt facepalmed. ”Sorry, sorry. Anyway, it’s the perfect vacation from yourself. Perfectly safe too.”

Drizzt felt his curiosity being peaked, and he reached in to page through the hanging skin-like garments. They were soft and rustling to the touch, but didn’t really feel like skin. He was mildly surprised to feel some sort of sticky residue on a few of the suits, but didn’t see it as wise to ask.

”So… I could borrow one of these from you, put it on, turn into someone nobody will know and go and do what I want?”

Elminster nodded. ”Precisely”

”That’s… interesting. I think I’d like to try it first, though.”

”Oh, of course. Feel free to do as much or as little as you want. This room is at your disposal. Just put your clothes on the bed hmm?”

Drizzt nodded, still fascinated by the weird artifacts. Elminster chuckled, and exited.

***

Sitting in his chair, Elminster was poring over a rather fascinating book, having refilled his pipe. Then he heard footsteps and the sound of the sideroom door opening. He turned around in his high-back chair. ”Ah lad, I’m glad ye…” He lost his train of speech.

A young woman, barely more than a girl walked out of the side room, smiling cheerfully. She was still just on the verge of womanhood, with small breasts and slender hips, yet her lithe body showed the tone of a gymnast. Her skin was tanned, and her face was pretty with a perky, girlish expression, and her voluminous blue hair arranged in a ponytail to keep out of her face. Her ears showed a slight point, displaying a half-elf heritage.

She was dressed in a very simple outfit, consisting of a brown tunic covering her torso, held in by a simple leather belt, and a pair of large leather wristbands with brass-colored studs. Her legs and feet were bare. Elminster could just make out some underwear under the tunic’s edge. She rushed over to the old sage and threw her arms around his neck (since she was much shorter than him).

”Oh Elminster, thank you so much! This is the best present ever! How can I ever repay you?”

Elminster studied the girl. Then he smiled.

”I’m sure I’ll think of something”

>Elminster studied the girl. Then he smiled.

>”I’m sure I’ll think of something”

RAPE

All you cowards are using these Guises to pretend to write Elminister/Whoever fics. I demand sweaty, hairy old man balls bouncing as the big E thrusts into the ass of, say, Minsc.

>>2658682

so write them yourself Anon

>>2658714
Sorry, I have a test in an hour. But don't tempt me...

If it has 0% crossdressing or sex-changing Elminister, thread is automatically rendered useless.
What else could the old bat be good for?

>>2658740

You didn't read it, how can you tell.

>>2658740

the writefag already did two of those fics, I think that market is satiated.

>>2658751
Good point. I'll give it a shot now.

I revoke my first comment.

.....

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

This is awesome. Moar?

Continue plz? D=

>>2659031

I wish I could, but I really have to do other stuff. Uh, archive the thread or something and I'll see about continuing it some other day if anyone wants to see it.

Hahahaha. no cross dressing Elminster, but ho yes cross dressing Drizz't!

>>2658627
I wish I could make you awesome for this post.