Its been 4 days since Aldwin and Cultist have started living together. Its been a pretty happy couple of days. Cultist started a carrot patch that Aldwin is somewhat suspicious of, however.

FIRST THINGS FIRST.
Try to remember if there are any deities in the world other than Xom, Nemelex, and Satan (or Glittergold), and what their names and portfolios are. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!

He's spent some of his gold renovating the windmill. Now that they have a stove and a table, its almost like they have a genuine kitchen! The stove will also be nice come winter. Things are looking up in the world.

>>3846032
Why am I reminded of Threshold?

Has Aldwin been dreaming of trees made of glass?

>>3846047
What's the picture on the wall?

didn't aldwin earn 2500 (-40 for beardbeard) for hooking up the elven queen with garelf? that stove and table had better be made out of 100% naga bone of highest dorfcraft quality.

And has Aldwin been keeping up with his sneakery practice?

>>3846039
This would only be important to Lily and Garrelf, as Beardbeard, Aldwin, and Cultist are pretty set in their deitific beliefs. The major gods are:

Ra: God of the Sky
Pelor: God of the Sun
Moradin: God of the Earth
Nemelex: God of Luck
Fate: God of Time
Xom: God of Chaos
Satan: God of Magic
Yog: God of Order
Heracles: God of Strength

FUCK YEAH THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN ONLINE FOR ONE OF THESE!

>>3846074
Bleh. We need to get some more of those gods offed, the pantheon isn't very interesting. Are there any minor dieties of SCIENCE!, DELICIOUS ALCOHOL, actual DELICIOUS ALCOHOL, or any gods of good/evil?

Go look for a Quest/something to rob.

A visitor barges in, shouting loudly!

>>3846060
He also fixed up the floor in the bedroom, installed an outhouse (not shown), repaired the window and the roof, and bought food for the next 3 weeks.

>>3846074
Who the hell is Yog?

>Satan: God of Magic

Why do we know this?

>>3846100
Finlay?! Ask what's wrong!

>>3846100
Use Hide in Plain Sight.
Failing that, :3 at him.

>>3846093
There are minor gods, yes (Nemelex and Heracles are actually minor gods). There are no gods of morality. And, sorta made this up on the spot; for some reason it never occurred to me anyone would CARE what the gods are, or their portfolios. So, I will get back to everyone on this.

>>3846123
Aldwin asks Finlay what the matter seems to be.

Finlay says "I need back up for a mission. Do you want in?"

>>3846113
I think it's Lovecraftian.

>>3846132
Ask about the nature of the mission.

>>3846132
Yes!

>>3846136

>>3846142

Fuck yeah, Dorf Quest.

>>3846136

>>3846142
>>3846136
Both.

Sorry for late response, internet died for a minute there.


>>3846136
>>3846160
>>3846178

"Well, there's a girl I need dead. Its what I do, I assassinate. But, she's guarded preeeetty well, so I was hoping you could provide a good distraction. Summon some monsters, run away from some guards, you know. You'd be perfect for the job, don't have to harm a soul. You in?"

>>3846239
Ask who it is.

It's still a little evilly aligned for us so pass, but we need to know who to warn.

>>3846239

Ask where he got that hat.

Who are we to not accept a quest hook?

>>3846239

Ask if it happens to be a certain elfin queen.

What would happen if we used the betrayal card on Finlay? I don't think he has any friends to betray him... would his hat betray him? I bet his hat would betray him.

>>3846258
When the quest hook involves potentially helping in the murder of some innocent person and we are controlling Aldwin?

Ask who the target is and why they are wanted, refuse unless target is, indeed, in need of a good smackin'

NO.

IT'S LILY.

ONLY MINOR ROYALTY COULD BE SO OBNOXIOUS/SIMULTANEOUSLY ANNOYING IN A FANTASY SETTING.

GO ALONG WITH IT, THEN TURN HIS ASS IN.

>Girl

>Assasinate.

>Child Murderer

>>3846294

YOU ARE THE SNITCH, SNITCH ON THE FUCKER.

>>3846239

That sounds rather rude. Just going about and killing people, and all that. Why, imagine! The implications, m'boy! You'd be assisting in the death of someone! Dreadful business that.

No, but you're looking rather top there son. But I daresay something looks off. I know! A hat! Yes, a hat should fit you nicely! Weren't you in the business of such a thing some days ago? No matter. I'm sure the habberdasher is over anysort of conundrum he'd been occupied with before, so now seems like a right proper time to acquire such amennities.

>>3846301

No.

No.

No snitching man.

Kill the fucker, RIGHT NOW and rummage through his shit, childkillers are bad.

The only important question is: HOW MUCH MONEY CAN WE EARN IN THIS ASSASSINATION THINGY?

>>3846242
>>3846278
>>3846288
"I can't tell you, even if you take the mission. I'm an assassin, not a fool. But if you accept, I will tell you when we get there."

>>3846254
"There's this really great haberdasher in Aordor, I'll take you some time."

>>3846281
The deck was shuffled after using Heart of the Cards. According to between-session card peeks, you have the following information:

Deck of Summons (54) Top Two: The Hive, The Phantom
Deck of Bewitching (7) Top Two: RAGE, Sleep

>>3846294
"I CAN assure you its not that girlchild you drag along. I wouldn't need YOUR help killing such a pathetic creature."

>"...such a pathetic creature."

>>3846339

Ask him why he's so desperate to ask for our help killing a guarded girl, when he knows that Alwin is pretty much a goody-goody. Is he desperate or something?

>>3846358
You aren't gonna take that shit from him, are you?

Kick his ass

>>3846358

Oh, hey Lily. You're awake. Aldwin's been slacking, or it's midday. So, how's that neckbeard thing working out for you?

>>3846339
Tell him you're not doing it without knowing who it is.

If he leaves, follow him sneakily.

>>3846358

Don't worry Lily, going by tropes, one these days he'll probably die a lonely man due to one of his plans backfiring, or perhaps a last second chance at redemption via self sacrifice. Or perhaps he'll "surprisingly" get offed by Aldwin (though I honestly don't see that happening soon). Either way, he's gonna die. Probably.

>>3846383
Yeah, kick his ass.

Or shins. Whatev.

>>3846391
Well, he's most likely going to die at some point anyway. He's not a mage, so he can't become a lich, he doesn't look like deity material, and he's not a construct of some sort....I think. That mostly leaves vampirism, in which case he'll become too much of a whiny emo to do shit.

Ask why she is being assassinated.

Decide by Nemelex's will. Flip a coin.

>>3846368
"...The assassin's guild got wiped out. It's just me and this one new guy, and he ain't gonna cut it on the field. You now, you have summoning magic. It wouldn't be hard to summon up a distraction so I can do the job myself."

>>3846409
"They're paying me 10,000 gold for this, I don't ask why."

>>3846390
"So... no, huh. Alright, if I can't get backup then the mission isn't worth the pay. A dead man can't spend any money, yanno? I might pop in sometime later, but otherwise... good bye for now, Aldwin."

>>3846433
Since he's not doing it anyway, ask for the name.

>>3846339
Finlay's such a wanker.

He talks, or walks.

>Such a pathetic creature.

Laugh at him, ask him what would happen if he were capable of walking into a room with a big knife, and having the person you want to kill go TOWARDS YOU, and bend over, face level with yours, back all crooked, preoccupied with talking at you/grabbing the knife WITHOU hurting you.

Also, accept and wait for something to happen, then KILL THE FUCKER.

I don't fucking believe the "not going to do it" thing.

>>3846480
That's why we're asking for the name.

>>3846443
>>3846447
"Some broad named Goldmoon. You sure you don't want to back me up? C'mon."

This seems to be his last shot. He'll likely leave if you refuse again.

Alright, how do we roll to pretend to be knowledgable about politics enough to know about highly defended girls.

Lily! Knowledge check on Goldmoon!

>>3846480
Me too..

What the fuck, guys?

>>3846490
IS SHE EVIL?

THIS IS OF VITAL IMPORTANCE.

>>3846494
we could ask cultist, she seems connected. So does Lily, actually

>>3846490
Do it if it ain't the Elf Queen.

>>3846490

Hmm, Goldmoon sounds elfy. What was Garrelf's new wife's name?

YEAH, TOTALLY.

Also, this is totally assasin recruiting.

DAMMIT, ANON.

This is not the time to suddenly gain a sense of right and wrong. Where is the killer instinct? Or at least a need for adventure.

>>3846552
Aldwin isn't Beardbeard.

THIS IS ASSASIN RECRUITING.

THE ASSASSIN GUILD HAS LILY AND CULTIST HOSTAGE, GO WITH HEEM I YOU WANT HER TO LEEV

>>3846562
Neither are you, but that doesn't stop you from wanting to BURN MAIM KILL.

But that isn't the point I'm making. ADVENTURE, DAMMIT. DON'T YOU LIKE ADVENTURE?

Or we could say no and just wander around town and do dull stuff.

>>3846494
>>3846511

Aldwin knows not who Goldmoon is.

>>3846512

Cultist knows not who Goldmoon is.

>>3846506
Lily... knows who Goldmoon is. Lily knows Goldmoon very well. Goldmoon is a Celestial. And the head of the Assassin's Guild. And Lily's ex-adoptive mother.

>>3846516
>>3846520
The elf queen is Arialla, not Goldmoon.

>>3846552
Sorry, I seem to have imbued Aldwin's personality into the lot of them.

>>3846577
The fuck you waiting for Lily? Talk to Aldwin about this.

>>3846572

>And the head of the Assassin's Guild

POWER GRAB.

You've always wanted to be BADASS Aldwin, go along with the fag, then kill the fucker in a demonstration of loyalty.

>>3846577
DO EET.
KILL GOLDMOON FOR CAUSING SOME SORT OF UNKNOWN MENTAL TRAUMA TO LILY.
PATERNAL INSTINCTS ACTIVATE!

>>3846577
No no.

It just means you are a good storyteller, I think. Everyone is really into the character.

I'd start thinking of other quest hooks for this session though..

>>3846577
So, Lily, is Goldmoon wack-able? Should we help kill her?

Lilly, explain to Aldwin who Goldmoon is along with any compelling reasons to help murder her.

>>3846586

Celestial...okay, whatever, probably a fallen one or something. I mean, shit, the dorf fucking KILLED THE GOD OF ELVES, how hard can killing a cele--oh right, not as badass (yet.)

Wait, head of the assasin's guild? ....Hooo shit, this could get ugly on a political scale. Have Aldwin wear a mask should he decide to go.

Go with him.

GET MASK

>>3846596
THIS MAN SPEAKS TRUTH

>>3846628
Well, off we go then.

Be sure to annoy the shit out of Finlay for being a prick. Emphasize how we wouldn't have taken the mission without this prior information.

If he's not resisting the urge to hit us, we're not doing it hard enough.

>>3846635
Use extra cloak as a face wrap.

Also, agree to go, Lily says we should.

>>3846599
No, I think this quest hook will serve well.

>>3846657
Mission accepted!

>>3846643
>>3846635
Mask Acquired!

Should Cultist go along?

Ask her if she wants to.

>>3846692
this

>>3846692
You ask Cultist. Before she can answer, pic related.

...Cultist says she will come with if you take Lily, otherwise she will stay at the windmill with her.

>>3846692
No way. She's way too conspicuous and recognizable. And not a rogue.

>>3846711

Little neckbeard on our side sounds awesome. And closure for the little one, win=win. Sneakiness can be overrated sometimes.

>>3846711
HOW MANY LEVELS IN ROGUE HAVE YOU TAKEN? NONE?

NO.

>>3846711
We NEED Lily. She knows Goldmoon, and may have secret knowledge that will help

Bring cultist and lily along.

>>3846711
You realize, Lily, that the plan involves us NOT seeing her? And we're just going to be a distraction, probably a half-mile away?

I mean, odds of seeing it happen are low.

SHE GOT UNDER HIS H.

WAIT.

KEEP HER AT HOME.

>>3846711
This sounds like important!

SHE WILL COME WITH US!

But make her promise that she doesn't try to warn her adoptive mother or anything.

>>3846711
I'm sure she can help with the distracting.

WAIT

DISTRACTION.

NOISE.

OKAY, CAN CULTIST CHAN CHANGE HER APPEARAN-

DEAR GOD BAD THOUGHTS.

OKAY, HOW CAN WE DISGUISE LILY AND CULTIST'S IDENTITY.

Also, bring a sack with extra clothes, ie, your normal ones, wear extras.

Don't take Cultist. She can heal, yes, but I doubt she's the stealthy type. Lily, however, seems to know much about Goldmoon, and is somewhat easily concealable. 'Sides, I doubt Aldwin wants to put his love muffin in danger from such cutthroats.

And before you argue with me on why Lily shouldn't come along seeing as she's also someone Aldwin cares about, think about it. She seems deadset on seeing her former mother dead. She'll probably follow you no matter what you say.

Acquire an additional pair of masks, one of Xom and one of another deity (other than Satan or Glittergold).

>>3846724
"I TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING KNOW!"

>>3846740
"CHANGE THE PLAN."

>>3846723
>>3846734
>>3846735
Aldwin reluctantly agrees to let them both come along. Finlay seems unamused, but it looks like nothing is going to stop Lily. Aldwin asks Cultist to keep an eye on Lily at all times, since he will likely be busy for at least some of this... event.

>>3846775
>OKAY, CAN CULTIST CHAN CHANGE HER APPEARAN-
>DEAR GOD BAD THOUGHTS.

I like your style. And yes, she can, but... she doesn't want to in front of Aldwin.

>>3846796
>I like your style. And yes, she can, but... she doesn't want to in front of Aldwin.

Aldwin: Turn around and close your eyes. No peeking!

SATAN, GLITTERGOLD, AND XOM MASKS.

DO IT.

Shouldn't we...I dunno...tell Finlay what we know about her?

>>3846828
Depends, do we want him to survive, or do we want to cease power ourselves?

>>3846837
*seize, jesus i can be stupid

>>3846828

Fuck that shit, he can cover his own ass. Hell, let him take the heat for offing the head of the assasin's guild!

...Then again, Aldwin would probably feel like a dick for that.

>>3846802

To determine who gets what mask.

>>3846801
Some other time!

>>3846802
mmmm not quite. Disguises acquired for everyone!

Go Lily go!

>>3846861

So Lilly is disguised as Ace Dick now?

This is fucking golden, nobody'll suspect a thing.

Wait, just start a bar brawl/riot.

Aldwin:Distract guards of place

Lily, Cultist:Start bar brawl, escalate it to a riot.

Unless it's an elf town, then we KILL EVERYBODY.

>>3846900
>Unless it's an elf town, then we KILL EVERYBODY.

What if it's a dorf town?

>>3846900
We don't want to get them killed! we need a safer plan

>>3846920

We have enough Stealth to get away with calling everybody insults while hiding in plain sight.

>Bar Brawl

>Genre Saavy neckbeard

>Cultist-chan.

>WE DON'T WANT THEM TO GET KILLED!

I.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR LOGIC.

>>3846861
Are those rabbit ears with a third eye or PANTS ON HEAD?

Any more intervening 'dicking around' has been removed from this feature film. For more 'dicking around,' see the Extra Features.
----------
It was almost sundown. The operation would begin as soon as it was dark out. In the meantime, a plan must be made. Aldwin, Lily, Finlay, and Cultist peer over the fence, seeing two men guarding the front entrance to the temple of Heracles, god of strength. While there really was a priest of Heracles inside, the truth is the temple's basement housed the assassin's guild, where Goldmoon would be.

Finlay: "Aldwin, I need you and your friends to cause a riot inside the temple. Defend yourselves as best as you can, but leave if it gets too hard. You don't need to buy much time - a couple minutes, at most. I will sneak in through the back entrance after your hubbub has lured them away, and from there everything will be in my hands. Understood?"

Lily: "No, I don't like that plan. I'll sneak in with you and Aldwin, we can get past the guards. Cultist can distract the priest by pretending to be an envoy from the priesthood of Xom, to keep the magic casting out of our hair, and we should be able to find and kill her ourselves."

>>3846948
Lily is disguised as Awesomeface, Cultist is disguised as Jeanstealer.

>>3846952
Listen to Lily.

>>3846963
this

>>3846952
Lily's plan is better, even if she is driven by selfish emotions.

Ask Lily why she's so pissed at Goldmoon.

>>3846952
Offer priests free beer. It just so happens to be Xom's Best

>>3846952
prepare your cards, just in case shit hits the fan

>>3846983

Ask him if it's okay we steal the glory.

>>3846963
>>3846983
>>3846992
>>3846996
>>3846998

I second these.

>Lilyplan: ACTIVATE
Finlay is not happy with this, but goes along with it. Cultist removes her Jeanstealer disguise, and goes to introduce herself to the priest of Heracles.

Aldwin, Lily, and Finlay make their way to the back of the temple. Thanks to their TRAPSENSE, Aldwin and Finlay can both see the secret door.

>>3846992
>Why so srs?
Lily admirably answers without yelling. "I hate her. She was so nice to me, she taught me everything about being a thief. I'd've been an assassin if I were old enough to take a class yet. And then, you know what she did? One day I went to bed, like normal, the next day I woke up sitting in the middle of the forest. I went back to the assassin's guild, and the place was burned to the ground. A couple days later I found you, Aldwin. You're a good daddy, you won't abandon me without fucking telling me anythingandleavingmewithnothingandjustforgettingIeverexistedand -FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

>>3847003
>We can has glory plz?
Finlay replies "Normally yes, but this is a special case. No, you can't. We have to pin this on a specific group, or our pay is cut."

>>3847065
Brace for nerdrage attack!
Get ready to run in while the building shakes/windows shatter.
Comfort her after. Possibly with a cookie.

>>3847065
Who are we pinning it on?

>>3847065

"So, uhh, you want any last words from her or somethin?"

>>3847065
the plot thickens! who are we framing?

>>3847080
>>3847085
I bet it's someone we know. Possibly Beardbeard.

>>3847065
> (Insert Lily's lifestory here.)

...Should...should I break it to her that Goldmoon might've abandoned her because she didn't want her to be an assassin?

...She's reading/listening to this, isn't she?

>>3847065
cliche sense activating!
Lily, don't let her try to talk her way out of this. if she talks long enough, she'll probably convince you she had a good reason. but she's the leader of the assassin's guild: she's definately got bluff maxxed out.

>>3847107


It would be fucking hilarious if we were framing OURSELVES.

>>3847123
well, we do need the notoriety as a rogue

>>3847135

Yeah.

We should frame the expriests of Glittergold. ALL OF THEM.. They're just jealous that their god got killed, then replaced with a more awesome god

>>3847107

Hey, if it's Beardbeard, he can pretty much handle almost anything thrown at him. We'll be inadvertently paying him back for destroying Aldwin's hometown in the future!

>>3847123

If it's us though...well, prepare to blame the whole thing on Finlay. Douche.

>>3847138

Who is this new god?

>>3847153
Satan. Havent you been lurking?

>>3847153
SATAN

>>3847153

[spoiler] Satan. [/spoiler]

>>3847153

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3783722/

Go read this

>>3847065
>Lily admirably answers without yelling. "I hate her. She was so nice to me, she taught me everything about being a thief. I'd've been an assassin if I were old enough to take a class yet. And then, you know what she did? One day I went to bed, like normal, the next day I woke up sitting in the middle of the forest. I went back to the assassin's guild, and the place was burned to the ground. A couple days later I found you, Aldwin. You're a good daddy, you won't abandon me without fucking telling me anythingandleavingmewithnothingandjustforgettingIeverexistedand -FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

Lily you stupid bitch, you've critically failed your genre sense!

Redacted capability card! Finlay is too much of an NPC to reveal all of his secrets just yet.

>>3847080
>>3847085
"That's none of your concern."

>>3847083
>Any last words?
Lily: "No, I want her dead."

>>3847108
"Then why did she train me so much?"

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I CAN STILL READ IT

>>3847174
>"Then why did she train me so much?"

"So that you could survive in the world alone, without her. She loved you. She wanted you to be all right all by yourself."

>>3847174
she got attached to you, hon, she thought you would be her secret weapon, but the more time she spent with you, the less evil she wanted you to be

>>3847185

That's on purpose.

Lily, uhh.

Well.

TRAPSENSE, NAO.

>>3847185
I can't make out the session power, but the other two are rather legible

>>3847174

Lily: ...Fuck. Well, maybe she just wanted you to at least be able to survive by thriving off others, rather than going down her bloody path.

...Though she probably would've been better off dropping you off at an orphanage, rather than the middle of nowhere.

Uh..

DO NOT SAY THE PREVIOUS AROUND ASASSIN WHO IS PAYING YOU TO KILL THE PERSON YOU'RE COMPLIMENTING..

>>3847220
Too late, we're fucked.

>>3847206
>>3847185
I can't actually read them, what do they say?

>>3847240
Non session abilities are Silver Tongue and Poison Magic

>>3847240

------r Tongue.

Poisons M-------.

>>3847240

[Spoiler] Abilites: Silver Tongue, Poison Magic
Session Powers: ______ of obscurity (Looks to start with an L or C, second letter is an a, 4 letter long word)
[/Spoiler]

>>3847257
so Finlay is NOT TO BE TRUSTED

>>3847199
>>3847200
>>3847208
"...We will need to talk to her." Lily finally says.

>>3847257
Hmm, I meant to make them barely legible, and seem to have done the job too well. Ah, whatevs, the important one is obscured.

Finlay is sick of this exposition bullshit, and has moved on ahead.

>>3847283
Follow him. Sneakily.

>>3847283
Follow him, quickly!

Maybe?

>>3847283
follow him! tally ho!

>>3847174
Session power is CARGO OF OBSCURITY.

>>3847305
SHIT.

HE HAS THE CARP OF OBSCURITY.

RUN. RUN NOW!

>>3847300
>>3847303
Sneaky or quick? Sneaky or quick?

...

*Flips a coin*

Sneaky!

>>3847240
Can of Obscurity
Silver Tongue
Poison Magic

INVISIBLE CARP.

adviceradical.png(1.9 MB)

WE CAN TAKE THEM.

>>3847320
good eyes fuuka

Of the cards you have, get the Phantom and the Sleep ones ready.

The hive and rage are nice distractions, but the previous two are for getting away when the shit hits the fan. And it will

>>3847320
okay maybe not cargo.. but something..

CARD YOU FOOLS

OH FUCK.

NEMELEX LOYALTY TEST.

>>3847330
I inverted colors in MS Paint to make it easier to see.

Try it.

card of obscurity world sorta make sense

Better yet, give Lily the RAGE and the SLEEP

Keep the HIVE and the PHANTOM

>>3847362
macfag, no mspaint

Phantom is Passwal, hive is BEEEEEES!

Give her the phantom and the sleep.

>>3847366
I don't know too much about Nemelex in general from...whichever game he comes from (dungeon crawl, I think?) Would the cards work for someone who doesn't worship Nemelex?

FUCK IT.

POST ALREADY

>>3847320
>>3847321
>>3847326
>>3847328
>>3847344

None right, but I don't have the heart to correct you people.

>>3847322
Sneaky sneaky sneaky. There is an unconscious guard here, and a staircase leading down.

>>3847336
Hive and RAGE are the top card of each deck. :3

>>3847387
This man has it right. Only a follower of Nemelex can use a Deck.

>>3847406
Sorry, I like to read every post before I hit submit. Sometimes people suggest things/ask things after I type a response, and I f5 before I submit, so it makes me have to type up more responses and... it is a vicious cycle.

>>3847412
catch up, sneakily (tumble!)

>>3847412
CHAOS OBSCURITY! Or something.

Come on Gnome. Brightness/Contrast adjustments make this too easy.

derp

>>3847412
Thought so.
Is Heracles the god of extravagant wealth or something? What's with the dollar signs?

TIme to go downstairs. SNEAKILY. WITHOUT lots of tumbling. Tumbling down stairs doesn't end well. Keep BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES prepped so we can use it immediately if necessary. Utter a short prayer to Nemelex first, thanking him for his blessing of BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES and FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>3847434
>>3847444
I'll use my own blood next time.

Also, it's Cape of Obscurity.

>>3847454
You're on 4chan. The grand haven for all living and dead smartasses. If you didnt see this coming, head out for the night and go to sleep. :p

Cap of Obscurity..?

>>3847434
>>3847444
I still say that it's a Carp of Obscurity, the most deadly biological weapon ever developed

>>3847448
You've never played with an old 3.0 adventure module. They used $ to indicate secret doors. Heck, I think they still do. Heracles is the god of Strength.

>Thank Nemelex
"I hope you know what you're doing, kid." He replies.

>Proceed with sneaky.
Sneakiness proceeds! The stairs lead to a long corridor lined with doors. However, on the far end, you see a black cape turn the corner as you enter.


>>3847471
I'd rather kick you all in the shins.

>>3847471
>head out for the night and go to sleep
ARG WHAT THE FUCK NO HE HAS TO FINISH THIS SHIT AGAGAGAGAGAJIUKJSDEBGDFIUEHDOUIEH

SHUT UP

>>3847499
My DM uses $ for secret doors.

Follow him. With extra sneaky.

>>3847499

Follow to the same door, but watch your back (and Lilly) to make sure carps of obscurity don't jump out of the doors you pass.

All Sneakily, of course.

>>3847501

>>3847499

Alright, quickly peer over the corner and hope you've caught up with Finlay.

>>3847471
MOTHERFUCKER, HE BETTER NOT ACTUALLY GO TO SLEEP!

>>3847499
I know. Just wondering if wealth was a side portfolio or something- God of STRENGTH! (and lots of cash!)

Guy turning corner is either Finlay or is a trap.
10 Open random door.
20 Do stuff
30 Goto 10

Hey Lily, I'm going to talk about masturbation for a bit. Divert your eyes.

(If Goldmoon starts saying things that are going to make Lily regret her death VERY much, use RAGE on Goldmoon and tell Lily it was TRUTH)

>>3847519
>>3847524
Wha-puh.

You are now in control of LILY.

>>3847557
Well fuck.

>>3847557
lily, you grew up here. MAP OF ASSASSIN'S GUILD AREA!

Mother fucker

Use NERDRAGE on Finlay

>>3847557
SHITFUCK. RUN, LILY, RUN!

STRAIGHT AT DICKWEED WITH YOUR KRAUT HELMET!

>>3847568
this

>>3847567
She grew up in a different building. After she was abandoned, she tried to go back to the assassin's guild building and it was burned down. This is a new building entirely.

>>3847568
>>3847576
Aldwin would be caught in the blast! And it would alert the entire building, too.

>>3847573
CHARGE!!! [cutscene]

Have some fanart, Aldwin.

FUCK, GO FIND YOUR FORMER ADOPTIVE PARENT AND GET HER TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF FINLAY

>>3847599
Finlay kicks the helmet off. "Relax, I used a Sap. Non-lethal and all that. He'll be out for an hour, tops." [cutscene]

>>3847604
saved.

Fuck.

Uhh.

Revenge can maybe wait, we have to go and get a res for Ald.

...

Should we ask cultist-chan?

Fuck, uhh, Aldwin'll end up with a cthulhu head, or be a genestealer hybrid or some shit if you do that.

Kill somebody with helmet, then loot corpse and drag Ald outside, you may lose the corpse and that'll be a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

>>3847626
So why did you do that, Finlay Dickweed? Also, you're a dickweed.

>>3847626

Aw, shit. He's going to frame our asses. Play along for now, Lily, until we get to your ex mom.

>>3847626
Damn! He wanted her all along!

>>3847626
"You will make an EXCELLENT hostage."

[/end cutscene]

>>3847663
this seems like a logical course of action

>>3847671
Nerdrage.

>>3847671
Nerd Rage.

Who cares if we get caught? We can blame it on him.

>>3847671
He's clearly not on our side anymore. NERDRAGE until everyone knows where he is. Everyone in the

WHOLE

FUCKING

WORLD

>>3847678
>>3847684
It'll hurt Alwin

>>3847671
>filename

...oh, you. Also, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>3847699
Having walked down the hall a ways with his captive, Aldwin is now well out of the line of effect.

>>3847678
>>3847684
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUU

You hit your head on the cold concrete ground when the blast propels you back, but you continue to scream with all your might.

>>3847714

Yes, give in to the hate--erm, keep screaming his at his sorry ass! He's got a might of 5! It'll take more than that to knock his ass out! Be careful though, he's most likely got a trick up his sleeve to somehow nullify you, if you don't run out of NERDRAGE first.

>>3847714
Did...did we just disintegrate him with the power of a little girl's vocal chords?

Why is Aldwin the secondary main character, again?

Ow. Lily's head hurts quite badly. She really wants to go to Aldwin, but she can't get up.

A thick cloud of dust and stone obscures the air.

Lily, real quick, can you think of a good motive for a man who would kidnap you and hold you hostage right in front of Goldmoon?

Because when she comes, that's what we're going to say happened. We were uninvolved.

Alright Lily, you should know enough about anatomy to dig your nails into his 'funny bone' maiming his dumb ass, then KICK AND BITE.

NERDRAGE, GO!

>>3847742
>He's got a might of 5!
But only 2 of Tough! Might doesn't mean shit if you're bleeding to death with busted eardrums, cracked ribs, and blurred vision.

>>3847745
that's the obscurity shit, don't be fooled!!

>>3847745

Using animu and mango logic, if any enemy is blasted and concealed by a cloud, HE ISN'T FUCKING DEAD.

If your legs don't work, DRAG YOURSELF TO SAFETY.

>>3847745
>pain

You're experiencing your adrenaline from the rage fading.

Think about WoW. That should get your head clear.

>>3847745
if people who will listen to reason come, tell them you were taken hostage by finlay, and that aldwin was trying to save you.
if people who will kill you and rape your corpse come, write "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR" on the ground next to you, and tell them to read it out loud.

>>3847769
If they don't fall for that, say Pazuzu's name thrice

>>3847742
MIGHT is how hard you hit. TOUGH is how well you can take a hit. Finlay only has 2 TOUGH.

>>3847766
Oh so predictable! "You cheeky fucker." Finlay's voice echoes from the dust.

Lily is quite distressed. NERDRAGE is all she has, and she is quite certain Finlay will not fall for HAST- shenanigans.

>>3847745
Cloud of Obscurity. Right.

...fuck, Lily doesn't really have anything else, does she? Unless she remembers some AWESOME ASSASSIN POWERS.

>>3847769
>HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! YOU'VE KILLED US A

AUTOSAGAN

NEW THREAD NAO

>>3847804
"PAZUZU! PAZUZU! PAZUZU! GRANT ME A CANDLE OF INVOCATION!"

>>3847759
>>3847766

Kid, get the hell outta there! All you've managed to do is whip up a nice dustcloud! Drag yourself if you must, but get out of there!

>>3847804
Call out for Cultist-Chan

>>3847804
Threaten to bite your own tongue off to kill yourself if Finlay doesn't go on his way. A dead hostage is good to no one.

Even though I am not sure why, but I get the feeling this will end up being what Nemelex warned Beardbeard about. We better make sure Aldwin doesn't try to get revenge on him for..some reason.

>>3847804

Lily, wait until the time is right to invoke prayers of DEUS EX MACHINA.

Fuck you Gnome, I wanted to sleep tonight.

PRAY TO SATAN FOR SOME OFFENSIVE MAGIC POWERS LILY.

IT'S TOTALLY COOL. HE OWES US.

>>3847861
NOTE TO ALDWIN; DO NOT PURSUE LU BU

FUCK, I MEAN

DO NOT PURSUE BEARDBEARD

>>3847885
I'm also sure it won't be so easy.

>>3847804

Lily can speak! If he's a republic serial villain he'll want to chat arrogantly about his plans, especially when his nemesis is incapacitated.

FIND SOMETHING TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT UNTIL ALDWIN OR SOMEONE CAN COME TO HELP.

New thread: >>3847908

>>3847897

Alright, it's a longshot, but it seems this is all you've got, kid. Well, other than praying for DEUS EX MACHINA.

>>3847897
ask him to sing the H.M.S. Pinafore?

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3847908/

for you archived folks.