fuck yeah

WTF is Four Breath?

>Open barrel of ale, share with all

Beardbeard does so!

Kill the fairy and eat its heart.

>>3956436
One less than Five Breath.

>>3956437
Now filled with liquid courage, Mado has a demand to make! She wants to help slay the dragon to bring back Nevada!

>>3956446
Ask for her CAPABILITY CARD

Break that fourth wall.

Look up at the sky and see what Sunbeard's up to.

Cock your shit.

>>3956454
4th wall splintered!

>>3956446

Of course, the more, the merrier.

>>3956446
Say you like the cut of her jib and agree.

>>3956463

Bring her along

>>3956463

>Far Throw
>Bull's Eye
>Dragon's eye
>Delicious Alcohol

>>3956457
He seems to be flirting with some little girl cloud. Pedo. He's so much older than her.

Wait WAIT! What have I missed?

Grab axe and charge in!

>>3956489

Sunbeard is so... hot...

>>3956463

That looks very fine.

Scout ahead... scout ahead... a, screw that. IT'S GO TIME!

>>3956466
>>3956469
>>3956476
Mado has joined the party! Well, as an effective member anyway.

>>3956494
You enter the dragon's lair!

...This seems oddly familiar.

>>3956541

Deep lust/nostalgia for your long lost stone bust

>>3956541
So it's a DRAGON TURTLE this time?

Well, at least we have an axe, so we can chop down the bridge from this side.

>>3956541
Traumatic crippling flashback to the loss of your stone bust.

FIND THAT MOTHERFUCKING FISH THAT DROWNED US

EXTRACT UNNESSECARILY PAINFUL REVENGE

>>3956541

... REVENGE TIME!

>>3956546
>>3956554
So long ago... the memories come flooding back...

>>3956541

Go up that ladder and share a nostalgic tear with the stone bust.

>>3956588
We broke the stone bust into tiny pieces. I don't think going that route is going to be productive.

>>3956585

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Beardbeard with :3 face!

Let's assume the fish and the dragon are one in the same. Due to dying, our memory is a little scattered, so we think that it was the dragon that destroyed our stone bust.

Dont we have a real bust nearby?

In any case, have garelf lead the way. He's the creepiest right now, and least missed if made into chunky bits.

>>3956585
Snap out of it, what are you, somekind of pansy elf?

Go kill that motherfucking fish monster eel thing.

>>3956607

To be fair, to a dorf, stone bust > real bust

>>3956619
I bow to your superior logic.

>>3956588
>>3956619
Beardbeard heads up to Nostalgia.

Mado appears upset with this.

>>3956628
Tell her as long as she doesn't have a delicious stone bust, she's not nearly as important.

>>3956628

Tell her you are searching for clues to where the dragon might be hiding.

>>3956628

>>3956654
FOLLOW THAT WENCH

>>3956654

True, the memory will be with us always, but the dragon has been alive for too long.

>>3956654
Not NEARLY as important as delicious stone bust.

>>3956654
Ze bust can wait, follow ze girl!

Gnome, quick question: can a character use two abilities at the same time? Or mix them into one?

>>3956654
Comment that securing TWO resurrections might be more difficult than one.

>>3956654

LET HER FIND THE DRAGON FOR YOU, STONE BUST IS MORE IMPORTANT

>>3956666

Satan supports my suggestion

>>3956679
Dragons have two eyes. We're good.

WHOA WHOA WHOA
WHY ARE WE PARTYING WITH AN ELF?

>>3956686

Mado is human, Garrelf is a Shadar-kai, no elves

>>3956654

DAMN! We want to keep her alive! Stone is eternal, flesh decays. Follow her.

>>3956662
>>3956666
>>3956674
After her!

>>3956690
Shadar-kai are just elves with black clothing.

Why the fuck lose time with the bust? Go after the snake for revenge!

>>3956682
What if this dragon lost his other eye already?

>>3956701

This is going to end poorly.

>>3956716

I know, I can't wait.

>>3956713

We can always kill the snake on our way back.

>>3956711

And are S&M.

>>3956723
If we do, we have to use our "Ale/Axe/Beard/Pride" daily encounter.

>>3956731

Yeah, why use it on a puny snake instead of a DRAGON?

>>3956678
Depends on the abilities.

>>3956716
There seems to be an earth elemental blocking the way! Mado is shouting at it.

We shouldn't kill the water snake.
We should CAPTURE it.

Think about it. It killed us, then we came back from the dead. It's an unholy necromatic sentient zombification-snake. Think of all the things you can do with that!

>>3956761
Leap dramatically over Mado and cleave that elemental in half as you land.

>>3956761

Earth elemental? Sounds immune to slashing damage! This calls for dwarven fisticuffs!

>>3956761

Have Garrelf grab Mado and teleport behind the elemental. Destroy bridge with axe and hop on top of the elemental to the other side.

>>3956769
Do this sexily.

Push it off the bridge

>>3956769
You charge as the elemental attacks!

>>3956761

Let Mado shout him to death.

>>3956761
Inform Mado that shouting at an earth elemental is unlikely to produce desirable results.

Then, cleave the elemental in half.

>>3956788

You broke a Hydra skull headbutting it! You can surely do that with a really solid rock!

>>3956788

Don't just stand there like an idiot, Garrelf, do something!

>>3956800
>You can surely do that with a really solid rock!
>really solid rock
>rock
>Stone of Ionus

THIS

Beardbeard barely blocks the blow with his ax, as the arm extends forward! Mado leaps past the attack, and goes to the next room ahead of you.

>>3956818

Destroy the bridge and let it fall to oblivion.

>>3956818
STONE OF IONUS!

>>3956824

lol I totally forgot about that, HEADBUTT TO DEATH

>>3956818
Release litany of curses to express your displeasure at this turn of events.

>>3956818

Disintegration may be the most logical solution, but the DORFISH SOLUTION IS HEADBUTT AND AXING

>>3956824
>>3956828
Critical headbutt success!

>>3956834

No time for boasting, quick, we need to catch up with Mado.

>>3956834

NOW CHASE DOWN MADO AND HEADBUTT HER TOO.

But first, finish it off by headbutting it into pebbles.

Removing your eye, you STONE OF IONUS the elemental into nothingness!

animation!

>>3956860

Onwards!

>>3956834
That elemental looks just like a giant... finger.

>>3956847
Now to catch up with Mado! Garrelf seems to be waiting for you on this side. Wutta prick.

>>3956869

...Finger? It may be something else...

>>3956869
Are you the cutebold I think you are?

>>3956885

Meh, Garrelf is the typical DMpc, only stay there watching, but when he do something, he do it EXTREMELY AWESOME.

>>3956885
Tell him to come with.

>>3956903
>>3956906
You and garrelf enter the next room!

>>3956887
No, no... Look right here. >>3956818
It's got a big long thing coming out from between two big round things.

Just like a hand.

>>3956954

Grab the phallic thing and stroke it with all your might, trying to choke it with your manly dorfish muscles caressing it.

>>3956954

That neck looks a lot like a tree trunk...

>>3956954
ATTACK THE BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON DIRECTLY!

>>3956954

HOW CAN MADO MISS SUCH HUGE EYES? Xom damn it.

Anyway! Throw IRON AXE at DRAGON to distract him from Mado, have Garrelf go wild, wait what happens next.

>>3956954
TELL THAT FUCKING DRAGON HIS SCALES ARE THE MOST DULL PIECES OF SHIT YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

HE REMINDS YOU OF FUCKING HOUSE SHINGLES. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE? A ROCK?

AND NICE WINGS, ASSHOLE. I BET YOU GET NONE OF THE DRAGON LADIES YOU DUMBASS OVERSIZED BASILISK.

>>3956983

Insult a Dragon to death. Good idea!

>>3956978
>>3956980
Beardbeard aggresses!

Attack Penis-headed dragon with toothbrush. It fucking hurts there.

>>3956967
I sure could go for one of your trheads

Wait Mado be desintegrated THEN decapitate the Dragon...

>>3957048
Quite ponderous

>>3957048

Oh, exploitable!

>>3957042

BRACING FOR IMPACT

>>3957048
I must disagree, oh Knight of the Gay Clone. Dragon HEADS make good hats

>>3957048

Fuck the eyes, let's take the whole damn head. Cut it off at the neck.

The dragon ducks, having spotted you in time! Its dangerous breath weapon goes awry!

>>3957048
I DETEST YOU

(when will you come back, Sir Double Shoggoth-kun?)

>>3957091
Ride the dragon to it's grave, smash your great big axe against his smooth skull.

>>3957091
I can't help but notice its forgotten it's helmet today. Time to take this bitch out like we did that hydra. START HEADBUTTING HIM TO DEATH. Use your pick to stay on him!

Alternately, ride his head like a mechanical bull.

>>3957091
MOUNTAIN SMASHING OVERHEAD CHOP

>>3957091

Better idea! Ride the Dragon to a nearby town and make all kinds of mayhem and shenanigans there!

Beardbeard spies a lot of treasure down there!

>>3957129
Hey, look, he has a female in a cage! That's kind of badass! Congratulate the dragon on his badassery as you head butt him to death.

>>3957092

>>3957129
Are there any socks?

>>3957129

Meh, we lost the Loot Everything session power, RIP AND TEAR the Dragon, then loot.

>>3957144

Headbutt dragon to death to earn interest/possible sexual favors from female in cage!

>>3957148
OHGOD
I CAN SEE FOREVER

>>3957129
All the more reason to kill the dragon.

DEFORESTATION, CUT HIS FUCKIN' HEAD OFF

>>3957144
>>3957110
>Headbutt it!

It beats you to the punch! You are slammed into the side wall.

Besides, you lost your pick axe in the fight against Glittergold.

>>3957129
IT HAS TREASURE.
AXE.
BEARD.
DELICIOUS ALCOHOL.
PRIDE.

>>3957129
Who is that in the cage?

LOOT EVERYTHING.

It has eyes that we're going to loot, so this should blind him.

>>3957176
Try to tame the fucker

>>3957176

>>3957176

Fuck, if Aldwin was here he could summon Exodia!

>>3957176
Looks like it's pinning you against the wall. Start fighting it back! Use anything you can! Also, what the hell are Garelf and Mado doing?

>>3957194
We are going to loot THE DRAGON. ALL OF IT.
Use Loot Everything. All treasure, including each seperate part of the dragon's body, are placed into our extradimensional storage space.

>>3957176
Beardbeard falls to the floor!

>>3957213

Being uselessly badass and uselessly useless, respectively.

>>3957213

Just laughing at the scene of Beardbeard being smashed.

Use the gold coins to cushion your fall! Scrooge Mc Duck showed us that gold coins are perfectly good for diving.

Didn't we have like, a party? What the fuck is doing Garrelf, eating popcorn and enjoying the show?

>>3957223
Beardbeard's a dorf. If he ISN'T smashed, we have a problem

>>3957218
fall down in a decidedly more dorfy way.

>>3957233
>What the fuck is doing Garrelf

Every male being within twenty miles. He's still got some elfishness about him.

>>3957213
Garrelf is busy not underestimating a dragon! Removing his arm-guards, he is now capable of using his shadow magic effectively without limit - but if he uses too much, he will be banished to the plane of shadow for eternity. He walks a razor's edge here.

We killed a GOD!

A dragon shouldn't be a problem!

>>3957243

USE IT ALL

NOW

ON ANYTHING

Why are some things pink? What does that mean? I'm confused.

>>3957246

Yes, but the god was a fag god. Of a faggot race.

>>3957213
Mado is making her way down to Beardbeard - he looks hurt!

>>3957243

SHADOW TENTACLE RAPE.

>>3957272
Garelf needs to start fucking up that dragon's shit, if only to save Mado.

>>3957258

Pink = Female

>>3957279

Only to creep her more.

>>3957258
Pink things are female.


>>3957274
>>3957279
Garrelf gets its attention, Shoryuken style.

>>3957258
Pink means they are girls, little kobold

>>3957306
good point

Garelf: Attack the dragon in a decidedly creepy way, fucking up its shit and mentally scarring Mado even further!

>>3957317
YES.
CREEP OUT THE DRAGON TO DEATH.
YOU CREEPY SONUVABITCH

>>3957310

Now lick it. Lick it hard.

>>3957310
Mado: Throw daggers at dragon while running down to assist Bearbeard! Make those 1d4s of damage do something!

While garrelf fights off the horrible beasty, Mado makes her way down to Beardbeard! He doesn't seem to be moving.

...

>>3957350
Someone needs a snuggle

>>3957350
It means they can be mommys iinstead of daddys

Don't tell me such a feeble blow knocked out Beardbeard. Not after the shit with Glittergold and the Hydra

STAND UP, DORF

>>3957350
How does a cutebold know what genders is?

...Does it?

>>3957347

Gald? What the heck is Gald?

>>3957347

Wait wait wait. Hold up. Dragon's caged female is a motherfucking pixie?

>>3957370
Gold you assbreather.

>>3957373
Bleh pixies. I guess we could tear its head of with our teeth or something.

>>3957385
But that's a "a", you fagmo.

>>3957373
It's a fairy.

Put it in a bottle and give it to Beardbeard.

>>3957367
He begins to rise, when a little voice assaults Mado.

"'Ey dollface, git your gams over here! Spring me outta' this biscuit!"

>>3957281
Does that make me hot?

>>3957347

Mado: Stop. Turn. Slit pixie throat. Resume run for dorf.

>>3957398
Is it troll time already?

Wow.

>>3957368
It knows there's boybolds and girlbolds and that you shouldn't wrestle together unless you're good friends.

>>3957411

Kick cage, assist Beardbeard.

>>3957411
Ignore the annoying npc with the stupid accent, we don't want it in our party and be tormented by its inane babbling later.

>>3957411
Investigate the voice, maybe they can help..

>>3957411
Agree to release pixie if it helps to defeat the dragon.

Wait, it's pink, fae and with a stupid accent. FEMALE LEPRECHAUN? PELOR H. SUN!

>>3957411

DO NOT LET FEY OUT! IT WILL TRY TO KILL BEARDBEARD FOR KILLING GLITTERGOLD

>>3957444

It was trapped on a fucking tiny cage. How could it help if it cannot even escape that?

>>3957444
>>3957437
>>3957434
Mado isn't mean enough or racist enough for the violent options. She investigates the voice.

"'Ey dollface, lemme outta here! If you bust me, I'll 'elp yer Big Six over there out, ya feel me?"

>>3957462
NO WAY DO NOT LET THAT FUCKER OUT

Looks way too much like Finlay, it's probably neutral evil.

>>3957462
I said we don't want it in our party later. By Xom, curse you Gnome!

Pink means wrestling, but only if you're friends? Ugh... This is hard.

>>3957459
Healing pixie dust? Who knows, but we might as well check. It's not like Mado can do anything herself.

HOT FEMALE LEPRECHAUN. Meh, last post, gonna check it on archive later.

>>3957476

I've heard of medicinal marijuana, but medicinal cocaine?

>>3957462

Hell with it, let the pixie out. Maybe it can burn the dragon's eye with its cigar or whatever.

>>3957462
God it's adorable

>>3957462
He is... far smaller than the spaces in the cage.

>>3957462
wut
Is that some sort of fairy crime lord?

>>3957462
Lesbian gangster pixie?

Awesome?

>>3957462

>>3957495
Advanced stage Lily syndrome, the poor guy.

>>3957517
Guy?

That is a pink pixie.

>>3957462
that cross dressing pixie appears to have a pretty awesome hat. I say we trust her. Let her out! Maybe she can heal Bearbeard as well.

>>3956761
>Depends on the abilities.

Well, I was thinking of developing an efficient counterattack against Nevada before resurrecting her. Something so wide that no even dodging would help.

How about this one? Since Beardbeard is a DORF, I'm assuming that high temperatures are irrelevant to him, and he would do more damage than actually take from it.

Thoughts/suggestion?

>>3957502
>Lesbian gangster pixie

I'M IN. OPEN THE DAMN CAGE

>>3957466
>>3957470
It rattles its cage in anger, but you ignore her for Beardbeard! "Ya stupid broad, git back here!"

Is she... wearing a trench coat, and a phedora hat? And smoking?

Holy shit, a hard boiled pixie, let her out!!

>>3957473
You're looking a little pink there, buddy.

>>3957531
He doesn't have fire breath. Never did.

He has FOUR breath now, and used to have FIVE breath, which appeared to be some sort of lightning breath weapon. Four Breath could be ANYTHING. Fire, ice, lightning, fish, toxic gasses, teeth, rust, eyeballs, Xoms, gems, force, dragons, anything

THIS PIXIE IS MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER.

>>3957539

NO! Go back for gangster pixie! Dammit gnome!

>>3957539
check to make sure Beardbeard is... relatively okay. Then, let Hardboiled Dame out of the cage.

>>3957560
Dragon breath? A breath in which we expel dragons? I don't see how this could go wrong.

>>3957573
I'm more worried about breathing Xoms

>>3957531
I say we just stand there, reacting slowly and take some punishment. When she gets too confident and sticks too close between her attacks we grab her arm. Then we will have our revenge.

>>3957560
We should try FOUR breath then. If its effects are completely random, we won't be able to rely on it. HOWEVER, if they have some kind of pattern, we can use like if it was the fire breath. It doesn't matter, as long as we know its effects, we can create some sort of deadly wave with our breath while using deforestation.

I would like to fight dragons, I guess.

>>3957610
And what happens if we try to Deforest while vomiting fish everywhere? And Three Breath will be just as random (unless Gnome decides that it's all lightning. But that's not Xomy enough)

DEFOREST THE DRAGON

HE CAN'T FIGHT IF WE CUT EVERYTHING OFF

>And what happens if we try to Deforest while vomiting fish everywhere?
Dragon gives up. It's not touching something that gross.

>>3957636
Dragon chunks?

>>3957568
>>3957564
>>3957563
Beardbeard seems to be alright. He was just out for a moment.

Mado picks the lock on Hardboiled Pixie's cage! She flies on up. Beardbeard looks at her hungrily.

"Thanks, babe, you're ducky. Now'm outta that antimagic cage, I can start blastin'." She conjures up a Tommy gun.

>>3957648

>>3957648
No, NOW is the time for giantess/tiny person sapphic schlick frenzies.

>>3957648

FUCK YES.

DRAGONBLASTIN TIME.

>>3957648
Damnit Beardbeard, focus! The dragon! Kill that fucker!

KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

>>3957619
OH LAWDY THAT BEARD IS MAGNIFICENT.

>>3957648

>conjures up a Tommy gun

FUCK YEAH, YOU'RE THE BEST FAIRY EVER!

>>3957669
Oh, right. Dragon. Garrelf suddenly drops in, reminding you. The party's all together now!

>>3957666
Shut up Satan.

>>3957648

DORFHEADBUTT/FAEGUNBLAST COMBO GO GO GO

>>3957710
GROUP TACTIC, TAME THAT DRAGON

>>3957625
Good point.

Anyway, we should try it somewhere just to see what happens. Most of the things that Xom provides are at least mildly useful or have some offensive force. We'll probably puke fish every now and then, but that's a small price for poison, lightning, fire and OHGODDISINTEGRATINGRAY

Just see it as a roulette of awesome effects and useless garbage.

>>3957710
Fuck yes, is Garelf dead? Perhaps we can resurrect him as a faggy elf again and stop him stealing the show all the time.

>>3957726
This. It's getting annoying.

>>3957726
We should ressurect him as a kobold just to have a new weakling

>>3957744
We'll have some dragon steaks later.

Have Mako act as a distraction getting dragon to turn so that as Mako falls pixie makes another distraction. During this time BeardBeard should be sneaking under dragon in an attempt to either deforest all the legs at once or just cut at the underbelly.

>>3957747
That'll show him

>>3957750
Would eating the flesh of a dragon have any beneficial properties, I wonder?

AXE ALE BEARD PRIDE!
ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE!
WALL OF DAGGERS!
CALL THE BOYS!

EXTERMINATUS!

>>3957722
SUDDENLY, DELICIOUS FISH isn't a trash effect.

A dragon's weak point is its heart! SLAM THE AXE THERE! Someone!

>>3957787

SEPULCHRITUDE

Wait... wrong game.

OKAY BATTLE START!

Beardbeard is LIGHTLY WOUNDED, Mado and Kav (as the faerie introduces herself as) are UNINJURED, and Garrelf is INCAPACITATED.

The dragon Belthimus's LEFT WING is crippled, but it is otherwise mostly UNINJURED.

>>3957798
AXE, AIM FOR THE HEART GO!

>>3957798
Stupid Garrelf and his being a higher level

SESSION POWERS, ACTIVATE

>>3957798
Beardbeard used ALE/AXE/BEARD/PRIDE

>>3957798

WHAT? THAT ELF FAGGOT HAS MORE LEVEL THAN US?

>>3957787
SPECIAL ATTACK EXTRAVAGANZA: LAUNCHED!

Mado begins with WALL OF DAGGERS!

[cutscene]

>>3957798
'Accidentally' use Garelf's body as a shield from dragon damage and proceed to split its skull open.

>>3957798
Level...

Well shit.

>>3957811
We used that last big battle, if we overuse it'll become stale and moldy and weak and we'll have to find a new super-awesome power.

Besides, this is just a dragon, not a god. We can take him with good ole fashion axing.

>>3957818

>>3957798
Have Mado heal Garelf. If she doesn't know how, SHE WILL FUCKING LEARN.

Shoot the dragon's eye (ONLY ONE EYE) to distract him while Beardbeard cuts his legs.

Garelf should complain or do some other bullshit, who cares.

>>3957747
>Resurrect him as a kobold

>>3957828
TWICE OUR LEVEL

NO WE CAN'T JUST AXE THE FUCKER

The other wing is ruined!

Kav activates CALL IN THE BOYS!

>CALL IN THE BOYS

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

The BOYS arrive in a timely manner.

>>3957867
YA THIN'IN BOIZ, YA GIT! HE CLEARLY SAID BOYZ!

>>3957871

POSE AS A TEAM. BECAUSE SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

>>3957871
That's the last straw. I quit.

>>3957838

>>3957871

SHIT JUST GOT REAL.

>>3957871
They open fire! Once the boys run out of ammo, they disappear back into their own world.

>>3957892
Hey, its just a fey summoning other fey. Nothing unusual here except STYLE.

>>3957909
I hear kobold tastes awful, but go for it, man.

>>3957871
Boy#1, use sleuth diplomacy.
Boy#2, ascend to godhood.
Boy#3, ride the dragon like a mechanical bull.

>>3957871

Huh. Somehow, while I was expecting mobsters, I was also kinda expecting the big hunter guys that appear during one of BB Hood's attacks.

This thread is on autosage isn't it?

>>3957931
Meanwhile, Beardbeard uses DEFORESTATION on the creatures' legs!

>>3957975
Yes. yes it is.

>>3957946
I am sorry, good sir, but John is no man. She is a quite proper and refined lady.

>>3957976
use the stone of Ionus to create a big hole for it to drop into and hopefully suffer collision damage!

>>3957996
Falling one z-level doesn't usually hurt much.

>>3957996
We still need at least the eye. And the more of it we can keep whole, the better, since dragon body parts sell for FUCKHUGE

>>3957931

NO WAIT GET BACK HE---oh well. At least we still have Tommygun Pixie.

>>3958001
It'll still be something. A scraped elbow is still at least one point of damage.

>>3957985
Sergals: The men are men, and so are the women.

>>3958007

I'm hoping this pixie might decide Beardbeard is her new boss since we killed her god.

New thread: >>3958030

>>3958027

"Hi. Name's Beardbeard Godslayer. I killed your pussy ass god and replaced him with Satan. Your welcome."

Am I fighting the dragon? Am I helping?