>>4021443
They also hooked up with some more familiar people, and when they finally left and headed to the dungeon, the party consisted of following: Me, Drizzt, Wulfgar, Bruenor, Catti-Brie, Regis, Artemis Entreri, Jarlaxle, Harkle Harpell, Cadderly, a couple of Cadderly's dwarf servants/friends named Ivan and Pikel, this one real smelly dwarf berserker who had a spiky armor and gauntlets whose name I can't remember anymore, and possibly several other characters I forgot, all of them picked up from various Salvatore's books.

In the dungeon there were some adventures I mostly can't remember anymore, except for this island with Medusa, whose head I cut off and stored to a Bag of Holding. Eventually we turned out into - brace for impact - Menzoberranzan, and not just that, but straight into the heart of House Baenre through a secret back door! Turned out the current head of the house - her name was Triel, if I remember correctly (again a canon character, at least if you believe Salvatore) - had the amulet: So I killed her and sacrificed her corpse on Lolth's altar for Mielikki, which pissed off the spider queen and her pathetic drow lackeys, but amused Mielikki so much that she sent me a pet unicorn as a gift.

>>4021445
We could have left at this point, but instead I decided we could fuck up with the city a bit more. So we more or less slaughtered the house, sealed the doors, and pulled out my secret weapon: Four Bags of Holding full of Xenomorph eggs! My grandfather, who was like a legendary hero and immortal awesome cool guy etcetera, had found them from this otherwise empty island on a boat trip. So we started to plant them in all the little rooms and corridors when Gromph Baenre appeared. That was his name, wasn't it? The head wizard of the mage guild or whatnot in Menzoberranzan? Anyway, he was royally pissed off because he was a guy, and therefore inferior in Lolth's eyes, so he performed a heel face turn and begged to join us. I was like "Sure okay bro", handed him one of the Bags of Holding, told him what was inside, and asked him to plant them all around the mage guild. When he came back, he converted to Mielikki.

So by this point, Lolth had seriously less power in her city because her main house had been killed, and because there would soon be a few thousand insane acid-filled bug creatures running around. We decided to call it a day, went back through the secret door, laying all sorts of insane traps to the corridors as we went - including the aforementioned medusa head, which I left to stare at anyone who'd arrive from behind the corner, resulting in quite a many stoned drow.

>>4021447
Except then we had to face Lolth herself, who was understandably kinda angry at this point, and had manifested herself in the mortal world. She said she'd take our souls and torture us for million years, except that I took that opportunity to egg her with a cockatrice egg. Which hit her right at her face, because she thought it was just a normal harmless egg, resulting in a powerful god dying by turning to stone.

Oh, at this point I'd like to mention, that during the Time of Troubles - when I think he was like ten years old or something - my character killed Diablo. And took his soulstone and destroyed it.

So anyway, Lolth was dead, and the rest of Menzoberranzan spontaneously converted into various other gods, including some good ones, like Mielikki. Meanwhile, as we left the dungeon, we stopped by under the Medusa's lake - since it was right above the dungeons - and put a large hole to its bottom, which pretty much drowned the city. We got home, partied, good time was had by all, etc.

Your turn.

you outdid me
no reason to post

Im still ashamed I broke my mom's lamp and blamed it on the cat

I once threw up on a 3 star Marine Corps General, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021443
>>4021445
>>4021447
>>4021451
Any chance of uploading this? I could use a laugh.

I begged for Tyranid MILF porn for a few months.

>>4021616
You got it to.

>>4021443
Drizzt fanfic? DRIZZT FANFIC?!? I... but... you...

MARY SUEING? OUT MARY SUEING THE FORGOTTEN REALMS?!?


There is nothing to be said about this.

>>4021480
Did any NCOs beat your ass for this?

>>4021616
Well at least we got Jeanstealer gene bank.

>>4021627
>MARY SUEING? OUT MARY SUEING THE FORGOTTEN REALMS?!?

To be fair, Drizzt's reputation as a mary sue is greatly exaggerated. Even Elminster isn't quite as bad as most people think. Any average teenage fanfic writer could out-marysue them without breaking a sweat.

I stole $3000 from my parents and managed to blow it all on DDR and junk food, but at least I never wrote a Drizz't fanfic.

>>4021443

I once played a Kender.

>>4021628
No. Thankfully everyone was utterly hammered, including the General.

>>4021640

Yes, but those teenagers aren't making MONEY off of it.

>>4021628
Don't know about americans but over hear the NCOs would probably volunteered him for a VC.

Now that's a dose of perspective. No matter what you have done, at least you didn't write a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021480
>>4021644
I once killed a man for some money which I used for drugs, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

I once burned an orphanage and gunned down any child trying to escape, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

I once wrote a Drizzt fanfic, but at least I never wrote a Dri... Wait. ...At least I never wrote a Dragonball Z Fanfic! Yeah.

>>4021667
Yeah but beating his ass would have gotten a free rank or nice bump in Pros and Cons for the quarter.

>>4021666
What about Christopher Paolini?

>>4021679
No not really, annual reviews are done by pltn cmds. And NOONE likes brass.

No Drizzt, you are the Greater Demons.

>>4021605
Well I've deleted it, but I did post it to a couple of my friends back when I thought it was still the most awesome thing I've ever done (Yecch...). It's a long shot, but one of them might still have it.

Honestly people, all of you should have written a horrible mary sue fanfic back when you were teenagers, just so that you could now look back at it and decide that no matter how bad your life currently is, at least it used to be a lot worse.

I once wrote an Inuyasha yaoi fanfic, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021692
Its about the principle of the matter not how big of a cunt the the 3 star is

>>4021705
While in a micro economics class I leaned back and took a look at the monitor of the girl next to me. She was reading an inuyasha fanfic. Pretty good chance it was yaoi.

I once wrote a Drizzt fanfic about writing a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021760
You can't be serious.

Man, this thread went off-topic fast. I guess it was to be expected. But OPs story would be awesome to read.

>>4021787
>But OPs story would be awesome to read.
No, no it wouldn't. Watching fa/tg/uys recation to OP's story, THAT would be awesome.

>>4021760
How does I divided by zero?

POST IT FAGGOT.

My reaction image folder could use fattening.

>>4021702
Well, I certainly did this. Mine was Dragonlance. With a high-goddess-turned-mortal self-insert. Chaos was her twin brother.

*hangs head*

Did your mary-sue character bang anyone in the story OP? Its just not a self insert fanfic if you don't get it on in lurid detail.

Bonus if it was with an established Forgotten Realms character.

Double bonus if it was with Drizzt.

>>4021801

Tell me more, Lady Bard, tell me more.

>>4021806
I'm afraid to. Kender hate here is so strong, surely I would be crucified before I could finish.

> Four Bags of Holding full of Xenomorph eggs!

Fucking brutal.

I once wrote a slashfic between two elves I never even heard of at the time (Turned out to be Legolas and some other shit I don't recall) just so my girlfriend would get horny and fuck me.

You know what? That wasn't so bad. :3

>>4021685

He sucks too.

>>4021809

...you played a KENDER self-insert?

>>4021823
Mmhmm. Kender was her favorite race so when she went mortal she went kender.

And it sort of goes downhill from there.

>>4021805
There was this one nymph. She tried to seduce him but he bitchslapped her out of it and turned her to a force of good. By the time of the story, they're practically married.

I don't remember her age, so I might as well say she was a couple hundred years old for your /ss/ pleasure.

>>4021760

I once wrote a Drizzt fanfic about Drizzt writing a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021443

dude, you must have huge balls to be able to admit to this. that is just absolutely terrible.

I've been to and played on Gaia for a bit just to see why everyone hated it so much. I.. confess I loved dressing up my avatar. Picture related. I like playing with dolls. It preyed on my weakness!

I got out of there after seeing how hard it was to earn cash to buy more cloths with.. and the forum was too much of a shit hole to post on to gain cash that way.

I wanted to stay though.. but only to dress up the internet doll more. Honest.

>>4021983
why not just play an mmo instead?

>>4021918
Nah, I just have the kind of attitude to laugh at my own work. It also helps that I'm a obsessive perfectionist and consider everything I come up with potentially terrible.

In other news, I regret to inform you that none of my friends had any copies left either. So my awesome self-insert Drizzt fanfic has disappeared forever. Whether this is a good thing is open to interpretation.

Well, at least OP has learned something from his experience. Unlike the vast majority of fa/tg/uys (present company excepted, I guess) he now knows quite well what a Mary Sue is.

Also, I once ran a campaign where about 90% of the party were DMPCs, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021989
That costs ACTUAL money and most MMOs have piss poor customization.

I stuck around City of Heroes for a long time though. God I would PAY THEM MONEY to have a separate character builder I could use offline.

>>4021816
The ends justified the means in this case, but just barely. Say three hail marys and don't do it again.

Test test..

Is /tg/ back?

YAY!

I once made a Dwarf Ninja in EoN....And I thought I thought it was hilarious...

I once played a little boy in a dungeons and dragons game.

I once played a Tibbit in a dungeons and dragons game.

I once played MaidRPG.

I watched Gigli once.

And I enjoyed it.

My favorite RPG is Maid RPG

No one in my online groups knows I'm a guy.

>but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

To be frank, that very much sounds like some really shitty original fiction that just happens to have Drizzt as one of the side characters. It only barely counts.

REmeber when Drizz't was a side character

he was the dorfiest elf ever

God, R.A. Salvatore kind of sucks at writing.

Half the time it seems like he's blathering on like he's in the middle of some 200-page inside joke that only D&D fanboys will get...

...which isn't good writing OR a good way to reach out to a wider audience.

>>4023104
He doesn't always suck at writing. The Icewind Dale trilogy was quite good, and I loved the Cleric Quintet. Cadderly is an interesting character.

>>4023226

I may have to take a second look at him. I spent some time in a bookstore, browsed his work for a little while, and felt my brain and dick simultaneously shrink.

But, maybe I was in a bad mood or something.

My first RP character, using a homebrew 40k ruleset since Dark Heresy wasn't released at the time, was a sadistic-but-emo Chaotic Neutral douchebag who spent most of his adult life as a prisoner of the Dark Eldar, but managed to escape Commoragh. He fought with two long Dark Eldar knives, was covered in 'badass' scars, and wore a long black trenchcoat. He ended up being sexed by one of the GMPCs.

That said, the RP was pretty much "You're fighting space vampires. Have fun" and we spent most of our time playing cheerleader for the two GMPCs, who were also vampires, and utterly untouchable compared to us. So it was a massive heap of fail all around.

But at least I didn't write a fucking Drizzt fanfic.

>He proceeded to lay ten different kinds of smackdown to Obould
lolwut. Obould bitchslapped Drizzt and forced him to flee. Troll troll is troll.

>>4023272

>a sadistic-but-emo Chaotic Neutral douchebag who spent most of his adult life as a prisoner of the Dark Eldar, but managed to escape Commoragh. He fought with two long Dark Eldar knives, was covered in 'badass' scars, and wore a long black trenchcoat. He ended up being sexed by one of the GMPCs.

Oh god, what the hell.

>>4023226

Are you on drugs? Cadderly has no depth, he's merely an innocent do-gooder.

Salvatore's okay when he isnt busy forcing drow cock down our throats

>>4021723
Holy shit, that happened to me in a Library and Information Tech class, except it was a Harry Potter fanfic. I think it had something to do with werewolves.

>>4023280
No no, my self-insert did it, not Drizzt. Remember, I was about fourteen and straight on my worst mary sue phase when I wrote this.

>>4021702
The fact that I've never included mary-sue versions of myself in anything I've written, fan-fic or original, gives me hope that I might succeed at being a real writer.

Also, I once watched and enjoyed Jason X, but at least I never wrote a Drizz't fanfic.

>>4023387
Yes, because in order to have depth, we all know you must have post-modern shades of gray angst. That's what makes good writing.

I played Flyff for 2 years.

With Brazilians and Pinoys.

I believe I can trump you all, save perhaps the OP: I used to play MapleStory.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

In 'Nam I got a girl pregnant, then told her I was leaving her. She got mad and cut me with a broken bottle. So I shot her, killing her and our unborn baby.

But at least I never wrote a Drizz't fanfic.

>>4026584
Well, I did attempt to help a friend write about a group of "drow" escape some dark elf outpost in a custom campaign world.
That collapsed when he lost interest and I realized he was pushing for pseudo-Drizzt fanwankery.

>>4026606
Raise your hand if you've never played with someone who made a ranger with 2 scimitars, or a good drow that's suspiciously like Drizz't.

I don't see many hands raised.

>>4026623
My hand is raised.

>>4026623
Yep

The pride is in shouting AT LEAST IT WASN'T ME DOING IT!!

Dude had a Drow Cleric with a no-dachi though.
The sword was my fault, for giving it to him.
Made a better Rogue than the human Fighter 1/Rogue X.

>>4026648
Yea same here
I Never played a drow and dual scimitars is just a STUPID IDEA the penalties outweigh any possible benifit

>>4026659
>the penalties outweigh any possible benifit

They don't outweigh looking totally badass and awesome. In their minds, at least. Mary sue must be beaten out of the child.

I once wrote a Harry Potter/Kingdom Hearts crossover fanfic. In it, Harry turned out to have a keyblade and Sora was a wizard and- Oh god, I can't go on... *Bursts into tears*

I'm not going to add "But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic", because I have a pretty good impression that this just might be worse than OP's.

>>4026600

I once murdered several million people in cold blood, for an ephemaeral end to an inevitable war.


But at least I never wrote a Drizz't fanfic.

I once wiped out two ancient and powerful alien races all at once. Ten million ships and one planet burned due to what I did.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

I once shot a man just to see him die.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4027191
Please stay where you are the Inquisition is its way

>>4027257
No you just wrote Harry/Malfoy slashfic didn't you Ozzy?

I once wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

But at least I never... waaaaaaait.

>>4021443

My first RP character was a self-insert plus RAGE. He RAGED at just about everything. He even ended up with a KATANA that channeled his RAGE into PURE ENERGY. His background was basically MY PARENTS ARE DEAD with a dash of I TAUGHT MYSELF KARATE IN THE DESERT. So he went and kicked people's asses with his RAGE and his KATANA and his PURE ENERGY KARATE until he got another KATANA that could FUSE with the other KATANA to make a bigger KATANA that could still channel RAGE into PURE ENERGY.

Goddamn I was a stupid kid. But hey, at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

All of you have written Drizzt fanfics

>>4029564

I somehow managed to not know who Drizzt was until I came to /tg/. I was well past my fanfic writing stage, thank you very much.

My first character was a fighter named Titus. Titus had a longsword and a shield and some armor. Titus lucked out and rolled 18 Strenght on 3 dice, no rerolls. This was a simpler time, before D&D had that A in front of it. Titus had a nice party. I even grew a picture of Titus into the character sheet. This was back when I was a wee lad, so the pic was a stickman with beard, sword, shield and armor. Nevertheless, it was Titus, and Titus was happy. Titus had no angsty past or great secrets, he was there to fight things and take their gold. He would be good at it, because his muscles were big.
Titus and his party received their very first quest. Titus was content, his phenomenally low Intelligence score didn't really bother him when somebody else told him what to do. In this case, the something turned out to be finding missing merchants from a cave. Good, caves have treasure.
Titus had a dog. The dog was called "Dog".

Titus died in the first encounter.

>>4029581
That's not very shameful. In fact, I'd've loved to meet Titus and adventure with him for a while.

>>4029589

Shame that he was eaten by a giant bat. He'd like it too, otherwise.

I once wrote a story about the Hungry Caterpillar being enlarged to the size of a skyscraper and fighting Godzilla.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4029607

What.

>>4029628
Seconded.

>>4029607
Don't you mean the Very Hungry Caterpillar?

>>4029607
I saw that movie!

Godzilla vs. Mothra was awesome.

I wrote a Nethack quasi-fapfic, but at least I never wrote a Drizz't fanfic.

...that's not much better, is it?

>>4029551

I read all this in the Powerthirst announcer voice.

>>4029691
Somehow I read that as Godzilla vs. Macha.

>>4029691
Yeah, it was inspired by Godzilla vs Mothra.

dear god.

>>4021983

http://www.tektek.org/dream/

?

I once wrote a furry fapfic, but at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4029765
Dude, furry fapfics are worse.

I ask only that the mob give me a head start.

I once played a Kender Spellthief. In Eberron.

>>4029765
>>4029821

Before taking any geeky course of action, please consult the attached hierarchy chart.

>>4029860
See? Furries are three steps worse than fanfic writers! And erotic furries even lower.

My very first forays into fanfiction included:

1: A madcap crossover between Stargate, Mortal Kombat, and Final Fantasy VII with Reptile as King of the Those Big Honking Snakes in the Marsh South of Midgar (whatever the hell they were called again), flying around in a pyramid spaceship amassing a harem of women (who he kept turning into Isis-esque half snake creatures).

2: A crossover between ALL of the Final Fantasy games (which back when ended at Tactics), Chrono Trigger, and the Area 51 arcade shooter. No, I was not high at the time - I was 14. Short version is the villains of all the above (minus Sephiroth, who suddenly became a good guy and Cloud's missing father, which at the time seemed like a completely original idea for me) teamed up and tried to end the universe for unspecified reasons. Also, Lucavi was Satan. The day was eventually saved by a self-insert character wearing the Armor of Inferno from Yoroiden Samurai Troopers/Ronin Warriors who fought like a DBZ character and used the Hadouken.

3: A(nother) crossover, this time between Chrono Cross, Megaman, Command & Conquer and Dirty Pair. Timegates deposit X, Zero, the Lovely Angels, and the entire Brotherhood of Nod in El Nido, hilarity ensues.

...But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

I wrote a horrible Sailor Moon fanfic about Uranus and Neptune, the EVIL LESBIANS. They were EVIL(I didn't like them, if you can't guess) and also LESBIANS. Uh...it was kind of like that. Twentysomething chapters of the most wretched shit you've ever read, including awkward sex.

But hey, I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

I once wrote a Monster Rancher fanfic, where Phoenix summoned Genki back to...fuck if I know anymore. There were two Zan. I've destroyed all traces.

>>4030537
>2: A crossover between ALL of the Final Fantasy games (which back when ended at Tactics), Chrono Trigger, and the Area 51 arcade shooter. No, I was not high at the time - I was 14. Short version is the villains of all the above (minus Sephiroth, who suddenly became a good guy and Cloud's missing father, which at the time seemed like a completely original idea for me) teamed up and tried to end the universe for unspecified reasons. Also, Lucavi was Satan. The day was eventually saved by a self-insert character wearing the Armor of Inferno from Yoroiden Samurai Troopers/Ronin Warriors who fought like a DBZ character and used the Hadouken.

I once did a crossover between games I-VIII, except that there was some ultimate evil asshole who kicked asses of every bad guy right at the beginning. There had also been a timeskip of three or so years in all universes: Celes was pregnant with Locke's baby, Gau had gone to a college and learned to speak properly and use knife and fork and stuff, and Porom fell in love with Krile when they met. The rest of the details have fallen to the sands of time, thankfully.

But yeah, at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4030584

Fuck. Now I want to play Dissidia again.

>this thread

Pokemon Master Self-Insert Character + Lance himself saying that the main character (me) was totally badass + None of that tedious work between getting one's first pokemon and becoming a master, I was a master as of the start of the story. Pic related.

bump

>>4021983
gaiafaging was okay for a little while, then it got big, It would have been much smarter if instead of creating a hub for all the worlds filth to collect in, they actually just released the software as an add on to Php or some shit so everyone could use it and they wouldn't have over a mole of worthless unintelligent retards for population,

I used a time machine to go back in time, and inspired Hitler to start what he did.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic!

I used a time machine to go back in time and give Salvatore some cool hints about what he should write of. Those hints eventually turned into Drizzt Do'Urden and his posse. I'm therefore directly responsible for both Drizzt canon and, through that, fanfics as well!

But at least I never personally wrote a Drizzt fanfic.

>>4021983
http://www.tektek.org/dream/
Dress em up to your hearts content.
pic related.

>>4021674
Year 515 of the Cold Empire.
We are gathering more and more planets to our cause. The empire is falling galaxy-wide and the rumors about our loved monarch dead runs wild on all worlds. Insurrection is abundant. The ones who remain loyal know the truth.

The Emperor is alive, sustented by machines, waiting for His Glorious Day to take revenge.

After playing too much Fallout (Fallout One, mind you), I once started writing a dark and gritty Sailor Moon fanfic, with a Mary Sue, of course. Thank God I've never finished it and lost the draft.

>>4031087
We know little about what killed our Emperor. The most consistent rumors says that a betrayer from the Vegita world prepared an ambush on a far planet and that even the combined forces of the Elite GiNiu and the Emperor itself were unable to bring him down. He has become some kind of messiah on the rebel worlds... The Golden Warrior, The Enraged Monster... but the one that we hear the most, is the silliest of all: Super Saiyan.

Under a flag of a sphere with four stars the armies of the rebel worlds march. We still have our militar power. The defeat was a moral one, after all.

But on the last months we heard a lot about the SuperSaiyan wandering on all corners in the Galaxy, like he were on all places at once.

What kind of being can travel trough space at that speed? We need to know more.

I wrote a Dragon Ball fanfic once. In it, Goku's father turned up in the World's Strongest tournament, proceeded to kick his ass, and taught him some secret techniques that made him pretty powerful. This was back in the eighties, when no one, except perhaps Toriyama himself, had an idea that he was an alien.

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic. We might have a meme here.

>saving Waterdeep a couple years ago, first from a crazy Beholder living deep under its sewers, and then from this dragon who wanted to conquer everything with his undead army.

I approve of OP's taste with games.

Speaking of Eye of the Beholder, I once wrote a fanfic where Xanathar, Dran, and Irenicus team up in hell to get out and have revenge to the adventurers who killed them. It had everyone from all three games. (I hadn't played BG1 back then, so it didn't count.)

But at least I never wrote a Drizzt fanfic. Although he did make a short cameo.

>>4032243
I'll top that with a Sarevok/Irenicus slashfic. But at least that didn't have Drizzt either.