Hat of holding.

How bout something providing half a rank in all class skills that are usable untrained?

Hat of holding

Cursed socks.

Monocle of High Society

Glasses of Seeing

Goggles of Do Nothing

Vial of Silver Dragon Semen

Hats of Gate: These two hats hold each hold a tiny Gate spell that opens inside the other hat. Anything placed in one hat comes out the other. Might be useful to get messages across distances. They come in many styles, but are always mismatched (one's neat, the other's sloppy, this one's white and it's pair is maroon with green spots, ect.)

Amulet of Communicate with Animals: Works as the spell, but renders the wearer incapable of speaking only in barks, yips, hisses, purrs, and roars for as long as it is worn.

Tankard Of Frosty Beverage: Thanks to Purify Food & Drink and Prestidigitation, this mug cleans any liquid poured into it and makes it taste & smell like a cold beer. The appearance and viscosity of the liquid does not change, however, so raw sewage will still look like raw sewage despite being safe to drink.

Toothbrush of Pestilence.

Gloves of Impeccable Calligraphy

Always a pair for whoever decides to draw a map.

Ring of light.
A failed ring of feather fall which, if dropped, drifts slowly to the ground, and can be carried away with a breeze.

>>4322080
>>4322074
HATMIND.

Glasses of "True Seeing": A pair of spectacles made by a paranoid wizard that, when looked through, show innumerable dangers that cannot be seen when removed. Whoever puts them on has to make a will save to disbelieve all the things they just saw, which was never actually there at all.

>>4322131

Hats of Gate would be horrendously overpowered for a creative set of players...haven't you ever played Portal?

High Tops of Boogy

Automatic success to all dance rolls

Glasses of Slightly Blurred Sight

'nuff said.

Sfx's Belt
Created by the gnomish artificer Sfxington Garbottle, attacks made my the wearer are accompanied by loud noises such as BAM, POW, SLASH, and TOUCHE. Also, once per round as a free action before making an attack, the wearer can tap the belt buckle to make it say a random phrase.

Any ideas for some actually useless items which have selling points?
I was thinking of including a shady merchant who pitches things to the party that are clearly magical, but they don't work as expected.

rolled 4, 2, 5, 2 = 13

>>4323852
Oh. come on! The High Tops of Boogy have incredible value and even greater use!

Ring of disfiguirement. Any melee strike causes an extremly long lasting, ugly to look upon sore that muddles features. It also smells horrible.

Shoes of Enlargement

Cause the wearer's feet to grow 2 shoes sizes bigger when worn. Effect leaves when removed.

Noodle wand

Touch to a handful of raw pasta and they will instantly cook. Touch again, and the noodles dry again.

"Ring of the Den Mother"

on activation, turning wearer into a dire bear.

a female dire bear

a menstruating, female dire bear.

this causes nearby male dire bears to come looking for a chance to mate.

Handy Handkerchief

Sneeze or blow your nose in it, and it will stay clean. However, it leaves a strange, rancid smell in the air when used.

The Farmer's Helper

A magical pitchfork that, when used to lift a reasonable-sized pile of hay or other grass, will make the pile seem weightless. Reasonable-sized is up to the discretion of the pitchfork.

My DM came up with a good one; a ring of friend shield. We found it in a discount magic shop.

It was a disguised ring of dimension door that would teleport a random ally in front of you to meatshield an oncoming attack.

Stick of Poking

>>4323870
Jeric! What are you doing here? You have a country to run!

Mystical Yellow Ball

Appears to be a normal yellow rubber ball, but when thrown or dropped, will bounce exactly 10 feet straight up, regardless of the angle thrown or the speed or distance at which the user threw it. Furthermore, it bounces only once before settling to the ground when it lands the second time.

>>4323852

A magical staff that always stands perpendicular to the ground when put own.

A ring that magnifies anything seen through the, well, ring, 20 times.

An arrow that leaves a rainbow in its wake every time it's fired.

A primitive guitar cursed with the sound of thunder permeating anything played through it.

A bludgeon that activates the pleasure centres of the body.

A helmet that speaks to the wearer. Bonus points if it is rude.

A sword that mirrors the visage of the family of the last foe slain in its brilliant blade.

Gloves with a mind of their own.

That's all I got, Anon.

Broken Mirror

A small hand mirror that will always repair itself no matter how much damage is done to it, save for a hairline crack which runs across the center of its face. Destroying the mirror will see it returned to the user in an out of sight place on his/her person, reassembled and crack intact, one hour later.

Spinning Bottle

An ordinary bottle that, when spun, will continue to spin in place until physically stopped by the hand that spun it.

Giant Junk Pants
Ring of Summon BBEG
Wand of 'Itch in a spot you can't reach'
Rod of Power Word 'Soap'
+1 Adamantine Shoval
Staff of 'Summon Bee'
Ring of Snakes That Bite Only You
Codpiece of Holding
+5 Curled Mustache
Planer Glue
Ring of Metagaming
+1 Wooden Sword of Splinters
Halfling Hair Rug
Loli In A Bag
Thong of Stiffening

Trickster's Coin

An ordinary looking gold coin that will always land on its side edge when flipped. When it is flipped, while it spins in the air, a faint high-pitched whistling sound can be heard emanating from the coin.

>>4323902
>>4323920
>>4323943
>>4323967
>>4324004
>>4324028
>>4324051
>>4324066

Thats all ive got for mundane but fun magical items. I'm heading to bed, hope these help OP.

>>4323931
I've been waiting.

For this moment.

For all my life.

Hold on....

>>4324054
>Loli In A Bag

I'll take six!

>>4324054
>Ring of Summon BBEG
Handy.

Cast fly
Fly as high as possible.
Use.
Laugh.

>>4324129

OH GOD

>>4324180

But what if the BBEG is a dragon? Or some other thing with wings? Or can fly through other means? What do you do then?

>>4324172

Except it's usually a quest item for epic level Lolicons, not level 1 beginners.

>>4324232
Chuckle nervously, run.

>>4324054
>+1 Adamantine Shovel
More dangerous than you think.

>>4324245
Extreme utility at a handy price.

Also, Cursed Item. The Ever-Oiled Rope

>>4324245
"Are there any wards under the fortress?"

"No."

"Great! I tunnel under and undermine the foundations."

>>4324265
Great for Bond traps, mate.

An unassuming small statue that says "Pick Me Up"

mine is a wooden set of flatware, the fork of stabbing can't penatrate through organics. the spoon of digging can't hold food products [acts as a shovel] (one sq foot per turn through any density)
the knife of cutting (can only cut liquids)

>>4324292
A LIGHT GRENADE?!

crotchplate of testicular fortitude

+10 on all fort. saves against testicular based attacks

>>4324129
?

>>4325135
i'll dig through your throat and cut off the bloodstream. now I don't even need the fork

>>4325280
Where?

Bag of infinite Gelato.

Eyepatch of Temporary Regeneration - When placed over a damaged/destroyed eye, will quickly repair any/all damage. However, if the Eyepatch of Temporary Regeneration is removed, the injury quickly returns.

The For-Sale Sign of Intense Interest - If you hold the FSSoII outdoors, you will be approached by anyone within eyesight to see what you are selling.

The Choker of Choking - A magical necklace that will cause the wearer intense discomfort of the esophagus, forcing coughing, wheezing, eye watering, etc until removed.

The Belt of Slimming - Tightening the belt causes the wearer's hips to shrink accordingly - best used w/ the Girdle of Slimming.

The Codpiece of Potency - Wearing the CoP gives the bearer 100% certainty of impregnating target after sexual relations - only works while worn, however if pregnancy is achieved, it will remain for term.

Cup of No Spilling

"Emeril's Lunchpail of Culinary Delights"

DAILY: open lunch pail - roll d20

on 1: Vorpal Squid - DC 25 reflex, On fail: squid grapples, DC 30 STR check, On fail: squid decapitates

2-19: party eats, recovering encounter powers and hp

on 20: party feasts, recovering all powers and HP

>>4322198
>High Tops of Boogy

Oh god, my Fighter/Rogue/Dervish would wreak absolute destruction upon whatever he saw with those.

Scroll of Flesh to Cake
Boots of holding
Belt of gnome's strength
+3 sword of summon rust monster
Goggles of /d/isturbing vision
Earplugs of sound amplification (painfully so)
Scroll of summon jello golem
Ring of infinite washes
'discount' adamantine warhammer (is really just tin with a high probability of breaking)
Orb of summon disco lord
Mask of dwarven hospitality (irresistable urge to be a condescending prick to everyone, doubly so for elves)
Rod of summon lemon elemental

Necklace of the Gecko
The wearer's tongue grows disturbingly long and becomes semi-prehensile

>>4327393
When life gives you lemon elementals...

>>4327779
Oddly, this artifact is commonly found in Amazon encampments and some higher-class brothels.

sage for people making items in 4rry editions standard.

>>4327393
>Summon Disco Lord
...
Someone stat this.

99% of these items are actually very useful in some situations.

>>4327824
Fag

scroll of remembering:
This often yellowish scroll shows you one thing that you that you should've remembered and has a tendency to stick on materials upon which you leave it.

Ring of 1 Million Steves, Whenever you meet someone or talk to them they just assume or remember your name as Steve

"Aren't you Steve, no...I could have sworn, oh well"

http://www.textfiles.com/rpg/ultimatebeans.txt

DA DA DA DUM

>>4327920

MON DIEU

>>4327920

sage for THAC0

>>4327945
age for sage

>>4327960
Sage for the cancer that is killing /tg/

>>4327969
rage for sagefags

A ring that when worn provides -4 to your Armour Class. They're all over the place, with various potentcy. Apparently they were really great a few editions ago.

>>4325332

hey, i know module where it is a blessing!

ear ring of ear-ing.

Most people hear hearing for some reason. You are compelled to get more earings

Journal of Epic Journeys: Only writes down information important to the plot.
Magic Bag: Anything inserted into the bag is immune to disease. But it is only 8" long.
iLute: A lute that plays itself. No more annoyingly charismatic bards needed.
Cheaters dice: Rolls 7 7/36 of the time.
Neverburning torch: Like an everburning torch, except instead of continually giving off light it continually gives off heat.
Boots of Tapdancing: +10 skill check in tapdancing.
Greaves of Dragon Resistance: Repels dragons. Only works until 5th level.