[x] eat it
[ ] don't eat it

Jesus fucking christ, guys. Can't you keep this shit to yourself? You're as bad as furfags.

[ ] eat it
[ ] don't eat it
[x] sage it

What happens if you fuck the pastry?

That pastry has a vagina.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

rolled 93 = 93

[ ] eat it
[ ] don't eat it
[x] sell it to the local king.

[ ] eat it
[ ] don't eat it
[x] fuck it

>>4557940
Yeast infection.

>>4557950
Actually that should say "DD muffin with vagina nipple $1.00"

Fuck that, being a female would suck.

rolled 15 = 15

>>4557992


dohohohohoho

I take it home and freeze it. Each new year's eve I shave off a small frozen crumb and sneak it into someone's food.

>>4558025
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'd eat half of it.

>new form will loosely conform to similar physical characteristics of the consumer's original gender, the resultant female will invariably be fit and attractive.

That's a contradiction

>>4557916

Technically, RAW the pastry would turn people who were already girls into fitter, more attractive versions of themselves. This means that fat girls could actually get thinner by eating cake.

>>4558081
Go back to /d/

I would eat it, become fit and attractive woman, then find another pastry that turns me back into a male. Instant weight loss.

>>4558108
OBJECTION

>>4558108
I read it to mean that a 5'8" man with blond hair and green eyes will become a 5'8" woman with blond hair and green eyes, but will shed the extra 200+ lbs that he had as a fa/tg/uy. Doesn't seem particularly contradictory.

> the resultant female will invariably be fit and attractive

Get rid of this, and I might take it seriously. As is, Sage for Sex Fantasies

Get real. Nobody wants to be a fat chick.

I would eat it in a heartbeat.

>>4558147
So? If it keeps everything else the same, I fail to see why it would miraculously make you this embodiment of hotness other than juvenile fantasy. Lose the pounds yourself, fucko.

sage for the sage gods.

OP'S FUCKING SKULL FOR THE SKULL THRONE

The mind of a fa/tg/uy in the body of a sexpot.

The horror, the horror.

I would eat it. Then I would schlick.

This looks like a job for dickerdoodles.

I would love one of these.

IRON HEART SUUUUUUURGE!!

>>4558250
>>4558226
Would you even do so if you kept your own basic attractiveness - that is, fat slob stays fat slob, but fit, athletic guy becomes sexpot?

>>4558252

Being female is a condition lasting more than one round...

>>4558258
No, the whole point is that you get to be a sexpot with no strings attached. This isn't a hambeast pastry.

I don't remember what field sage goes in, so all fields it is!

>>4558269
I'm going to continue to argue the point until this thread is so full of vitirol nobody is willing to continue in it, you realize. I'm off from work tommorrow, so I have all night.

WORSE. THAN. FURFAGS.

>>4558281
Why don't you just have some pastry, instead? It'll make you feel better.

>>4558291
Because it's far better to continually put off faggots that think that they don't have to do anything to be hot except be female.

Besides, the eclairs in there are for tommorrow evening's party.

>>4558258
Still eat it.

I'm a mildly attractive male, I would be a mildly attractive female, which could be improved upon, since I would actually care.

As it is I had to wait until I have the money to start hormone treatment.

>>4558315
You. You, I like.

>>4558233
Dickerdoodles cause you to become so bald and pig-like in appearance.

So, if I were to just eat the male cake instead, would I then become a thin and attractive version of myself?

What on earth makes you think there's a malecake?

>>4558350
ANYTHING THEY CAN DO WE CAN DO BETTER!

What happens if you mix the male cake and the female cake?

>>4558350
Because some people like being guys. Getting to fuck women without all the needless dicking around with a strap-on is just the beginning.

>>4558393
trap.

Look, I just want to be a lipstick lesbian. Is that too much to ask?

>>4558429
If you're a fat man? Yes.

>>4558112
Eating one pastry would turn me into a fit and attractive woman. Eating five more would turn me into a giant titted musclegirl

I'm really much too attached to my penis

I hate that this thread has so many non-sage replies.

>>4558462
bump

I hate that the total number of posts in a thread no longer contributed to by sage posts.

oooo, i would be such a skanky bitch.

I wouldn't trade +2 CHA for -4 STR and -2 CON.

I'm not sure. Would a mildly aspie girl be better than a midly aspie guy?

Also, how am I going to explain to everyone that I suddenly changed gender, or does the pastry fix that problem as well?

>>4558571
>aspie

Shut the fuck up and get outside you fucking moron.

>>4558571
>>mildly aspie

No, just no. Pretend aspergers isn't real. Get on with it.

>>4558580
Hey fuck you. It's like seven in the morning over here.

>>4558584
Will do skipper. But that still leaves the question of explaining to the world that me eating this pastry caused me to turn into a girl.

>>4558571

See: >>4558584

And aside from that, mentally? Well, while I'd hope that your memories wouldn't change, your behavior probably would - disregarding some architectural differences between male and female brains, you would also have to deal with an entirely different endocrine system, hormones, glands, etc.

Your behavior probably would change, though I cannot speculate as to what degree. Maybe a little, maybe a lot. Probably a lot.

>>4558628
It'd probably be a resisted change. People tend to have an idea of who they are in their heads - "This is how -I- act!" - and resist the attempts of their myriad moods to affect that. So any personality change due to biology would likely be slow and stressful, accompanied with lengthy introspection.

>>4558646

Hm. It's probably something would never entirely go away, really. I suppose at some point you'd end up with a mentality somewhere between your personality and learned behaviors and the drives of your wetware.

>>4558604
That's a good point.

"Okay, don't freak out, but I ate this pastry see and now-"

"Who the hell are you? You don't work here! SECURITY!"

>>4558688
I'd totally her new wetware.

of course i'd eat it, save me the money for spending on hormones and surgery that i don't have because i cant get a fucking job.

I'd eat it. It sounds like it could be fun.

Save pastry. Find man-pastry. Discover secret to creating both types of pastry. Become obscenely rich magical baker who lives as an eccentric hermit in the mountains so that nobody has ever seen his/her face, or even knows his/her true gender. Actually employ several understudies to do all the baking. Be perpetually about town as a fit and attractive man-, woman-, or combination-of-the-two-about-town with limitless pocket money and the ability to change gender with nothing more than a light snack.

>>4558957
Your task now is to find the Rather Suggestive Eclair.

>>4558979
Insert joke about 'cream filling' here.

BROTIP: there's just like, one guy who keeps bumping this thread.

everyone on /tg/ suffers from gender issues

My only gender issue is that somebody tricked me into eating that goddamn pastry.

Could I feed it to an ugly girl to make her hot?

Rules as written, yes. Yes, you can.

To stop the sagebombers, here's the new effect.

Eating the pastry will torn any male into a female version of themselves. Fa/tg/uys will become fa/tg/irls.

If fed to a girl, it will do nothing.

>>4559059
I disregard your house rule.

I imagine living with a vagina is like living with a T.V. that can never be turned off.

You just don't know when you're going to wake up in a puddle of your own menstrual fluids.

>>4559059
>To stop the sagebombers
>Repeats OP with worse english.
wat

What sagebombers?

>>4559076
That's funny, my T.V. doesn't menstruate. Maybe only certain models do it? Mine's a Magnavox, if it helps. Should I get a Sony instead?

>>4559111
I hear you can coax a TV to menstruate by switching between Oprah and The View

>>4558580
>>4558584
Self-loathing Aspie mind

>>4558571
They conform better so it's less apparent. Perhaps yes, since you have tits and vag rather than neckbeard and beergut.

Much rather have genitalia that doesn't bleed every month.

>>4559319

Some would contend that multiple orgasms are nature's way of saying "hey, sorry about the whole period thing"

>>4559319
Have you ever had a urinary tract infection? It's like your penis is ON FIRE.

>>4559389
No & I don't plan on having one.
>>4559339
The pros aren't as many as the cons. I really don't want to be a female get knocked up and push a bowling ball out of me. Or have a greater chance of getting raped...etc.

I'm fine with my single powerful orgasm and my penis.

>>4559389

Ever had a kidney stone? When that motherfucker first hits, you'll feel like you've been shot. Goddamn thing felled me like the Grim fucking Reaper mid-sentence, while I was chatting with a friend. Poor guy just stood there, thunderstruck, as I curled up on the floor and started gasping, "oh fuck, oh Jesus, someone get me to the hospital."

>>4559409
>single powerful orgasm
HAHAHAHA HAHA AHAHAHA... hehehe... sorry, I'll compose myself.

/tg/ wants to be a girl, except when it doesn't.

>>4559415
If you're not having sex on a daily basis the more intense of an orgasm is when you do have sex. While there is a cool down period you can get back in the game fairly quickly.

>>4559419
Oh, you're good

>>4559409
>Or have a greater chance of getting raped...etc.
>greater chance

Do you really think the 'Russian rapist woman' incident will happen to a typical fa/tg/uy?
Wow.

>>4559522
Perhaps in Russia.

>>4559522
I was under the impression that he was referring to assrape.

>>4559522
The Russian rapist woman story was so fucking funny. BAWW A PURTY WOMAN IS RAPING ME SO HARD MY DICK HAS SUSTAINED PERMANENT DAMAGE AND I NEED TO BE HOSPITALIZED

>>4559425
>If you're not having sex on a daily basis the more intense of an orgasm is when you do have sex.

If that's at all true then my first orgasm with a woman after this dryspell will split fucking concrete. I've not gotten laid in months.

>>4559653
> BAWW A PURTY WOMAN IS RAPING ME SO HARD MY DICK HAS SUSTAINED PERMANENT DAMAGE AND I NEED TO BE HOSPITALIZED

It's not as kind as it sounds, no matter what you may fantasize about.

>>4559522
Fuck I wish lol, she fed him, gave him new clothes and put $30 in his hand before kicking him to the curve. I'd go back for seconds.

>>4559802
>>4559653
Man, you guys are DOUBLE VIRGINS. You are so virginal that if you were to fuck a porn star, she'd become a nun.

I don't get it.

You guys spend hundreds of dollars on miniatures and Twinkies.
You whine about wanting to get laid so bad.

Why not just hire an escort/prostitute?

>>4559844
I beg your pardon.

I only spend dozens of dollars on twinkies.

Would fap again

>>4559854
Yeah... per day.

Some things money can't buy, like being born a girl in the first place.

>>4559897
Can it buy you fags a wake-up call for your retarded delusions?

>>4559909
Best thing in life are free

sage goes in all fields

>>4559059
>Eating the pastry will torn any male into a female version of themselves. Fa/tg/uys will become fa/tg/irls.
No. Takes away the whole point.

Anyway, what happens if one eats HALF a pastry?

>>4559997
you become a trap, 3/4ths makes you a dickgirl.

What if you eat two?

OP's post gave me gas.

And that's terrible.

>>4560010
1/4 = trap
1/2 = shemale
3/4 = futa

>>4560024
you die.

>>4560047
DOUBLE WOMAN

>>4560024
>What if you eat two?
Uncontrollable genderbender syndrome; makes you change sex at random whenever you least expect it.

>>4560056
Hey, there's an interesting thought. If you eat a whole one, or if you're already female, and then you eat another...would you like...grow a clone?

>>4560010
GIMME GIMME GIMME.

There are some things money can't buy.

For everything else, there's an internet forum devoted to it.

>>4560068
what happens if i shove 3 up my ass.. Finely cut up one and snort it and then mainline the crumbs.

>>4560086
Things.

>>4560086
you break free from the matrix.

>>4560086
Xom is pleased. He summons a minion to help you.

why does this have 125 replies.

also, what happens if you eat two of them?

>>4561076

>>4561094
...oh. Oh god. OH GOD.

>>4561102
I don't get it. Help me out.

>>4561094
...I don't get it.

>>4561115
>>4561111

>>4561128
Relatively subtle. I approve. Congratulations, tripfags.

>>4561111
>>I don't get it

OK. Does this help?:

>>4561076
>>also, what happens if you eat two of them?

>>4561094
>>If you eat two of them you turn into a Pastry Of Femininity. THAT PASTRY YOU JUST ATE WAS SOME POOR GUY WHO ACCIDENTALLY ATE A SECOND PASTRY OF FEMININITY OH GOD THE HUMANITY

>>4559897
this
>>4559909
I don't see how my desire to be a girl is any more delusional than faggots who want to be less fat or have a bigger rod than that cigarette butt they call their penis,
Protip; the only reason they have psychs evaluating you before you get transition is because transition is a crapshoot, it is very often ineffective compared to peoples expectations and can ruin your life compared to just getting a tit job, no one would give a fuck if changing into a girl was a complete painless process that didn't have an awkward in between period of 3-5 years.

>>4561142

I thought it was a double nigger joke but I guess that works.

only YOU;
can autosage this thread

Ha! This thread is still going. Awesome.

Eat pastry
Receive dickings
?????
PROFIT!

You know, this shit really is worse than furfags. I didn't agree with that at first but then I read the thread.

>>4562351
>>I am a furfag and constantly read their shit
thats nice, I hear fchan is a crazy place, welcome to /t/rans/g/ender

being man is betterar

Holy hell, this thing is still going?

>>4562453
not if you want to be cute, and the majority of /tg/ appearantly does, besides, most of the neckbeards here are weak and don't benefit from the advantages men have over women and all the disadvantages,

Seriously, stop.

>>4559059
>If fed to a girl, it will do nothing.

B.. but..

I could have used the fit effect.

But I guess that depends on what "fit" meant. I'd probably die if I lost weight, but what about generic body malfunctions?

Could have been handy.

STOP!

>>4562521
no
see
>>4562124

GET
OFF
FRONT
PAGE

>>4562540
>I could have used the fit effect.
We know.
I've.... seen.

>>4562546
>>4562552
Just keep posting until autosage.
Active saging won't do shit.

>>4562546
collaborate and listen

>>4562568
It will if you faggots quit bumping with your shitfest

>>4562556
Don't make me cough on you.

I have girl germs.

I don't even need a reason.

>>4562581
>shitfest

>>4562581
No you don't. Y chromosome.

just let the faggot waste his time, he will never learn saging is useless but that doesn't mean we should have to waste our time trying to teach him

i doubt the majority of tg could bench much more than a woman and i think even fewer actually care about how strong they are, /tg/ would be much better female. they might even be more comfortable RPing shit than rather just going LAWL i CRIT THE DRAGON HAHA

>>4562581

Reassignment surgery isn't contagious, you will never turn other fat neckbearded men into fat neckbearded girls.

>>4562623
Oh, they wish.

>>4562623
>>4562630
..Anyway..

Regardless of what we all thing my gender is, my body is made of fail.

The original conditions in the OP would be nice just for that.

>>4562606
I can bench 140, which is more than I weigh. And I do care, which is why I go to the gym on fridays.

(Except today. I didn't get to sleep until 9am because I was trying to figure out how to work the stall for a miss in an L1 data cache.)

Though if we're talking MtF transformations, wouldn't it be reasonable for the subject to keep their strength?

>>4562656
no, females have significantly less muscle mass than males and an even harder time gaining it, women are phsyicaly inferior to men of the same amount of work out in almost every way, although it wouldn't be unreasonable to think you would be able to beat the crap out of most weak silly neckbeards, and you could easily beat your new girlfriends in an arm wrestle,

I lol'd at this thread. Also bumping to further enrage neckbeards who don't even like battletech.

I'm reasonably healthy already, I think this would be an interesting theme to explore if the "makes you fit and hot" condition was removed. As is it's basically wanky wish-fulfillment.

>>4562680
I didn't say "women are as strong as men." I said "a male magically transformed into a woman could keep his strength." The strongest women in the world, while not close to the strongest men, are still far stronger than a typical, fit, muscled man in his prime. This shows the capability for a woman to be as strong as a man, and thus removes the only reasoning I can see for a man to lose his strength when transformed.

>>4562710
>The strongest women in the world, while not close to the strongest men, are still far stronger than a typical, fit, muscled man in his prime.

I doubt it. At least for what I think of as a typical fit muscular man. Might be a bit past, but that's freaky steroided she hulks.

>>4562710
you loose it for the same reason you loose other stuff, unless your suggesting that it would make you a hideous mannish cuntboy with tits and not at all repreportion your body correctly to be feminine, you WIll loose muscle mass.

only YOU;
can autosage this thread

sage'd for inappropriate use of pastry

>>4562730
This woman is purported to be the strongest alive. She's not pretty, but I wouldn't call her hideously ugly.

You can find milder examples of women who are both strong and attractive. It's not really THAT hard.

>>4562770
I weigh 132. A woman of my mass would not be a mannish cuntboy with tits.

I have a friend who's around 150, but looks as thin as I do--no more massive than any of the female bodybuilders you see on exercise commercials. He's also very strong. I see no reason someone of his mass and musculature would lose anything, either.

If your argument is "A woman cannot bench her weight and be attractive," I'm just not seeing it.

This pastry... it was made for me...

>>4563212
look, being a woman is more than just tits and pussy, they have an entirely different body structure and muscle structure, you are not going to be as strong as you are as a man unless you want to look like one, if you want to bullshit because its magic, fine, that doesn't make it logical, that makes it wish fulfillment,

>>4563244

I'm pretty sure everything about this thread's topic was ALREADY magic.

saged