AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>we moved the channel and didn't tell her.
what channel?

Freeform always attract Mary Sues.

>>4580594
>She
>she
>we moved the channel
>her

Are you SURE it was a girl?

http://albruno3.tripod.com/

Check the Binder of Shame. Cringe.

during this one session we had this player who would throw a temper tantrum anytime someone referred to the events transpiring in-game as a "story." the dark elf pc, who was roleplaying kind of a dickish character turned to this guy and asked "so what's your story, human?" and the guy just lost it, knocked over the table, and started running through my house trying to bite people. we eventually locked him in the bathroom and had to call his mom to come get him, but not before he had basically kicked my bathroom door halfway off its hinges.

true story.

>>4580624
Sounds like a guy who posts here.

>>4580622
Reasonably. No concrete proof, but she let slip enough personal info that we had a pretty fair idea.

>>4580624

DID HE FUCKING TALK LIKE THIS, JESUS CHRIST?!

>>4580624
I see what you did there.

No story I could retell would come anywhere near David

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37WlxhMF2dA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN00029FSKk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMDH1LeurQY

#3 is off-the-fucking-scale rage inducing

>>4580624

[coolstorybro.jpg]

>>4580714
what is this i don't even

"You're a human he's a gnome. Its like putting a watermelon up a hosepipe"

You think you have a right to bitch about ANYTHING when you freeform?

>>4580795
Yes. I picked good players the time I ran a freeform game, and it went very well.

>>4580792

NO HE DOES NOT HAVE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!

>>4580714

I don't have nearly enough patience to watch all of these.

Can someone give me a synopsis?

>>4580800
Running a freeform game for random people on the internet, however, is just asking for trouble.

"You have 15 rations, can I just have 1?"

"No, you will learn an important life lesson this way."

>>4580813

Just watch the 3rd one then lazyass

>>4580822

YOU STEAL MY FOOD THATS BULLSHIT ILL STEAL YOUR CHIPS.

>>4580839

David looks like he could use less food anyway

So just watched 1 and 2 of those videos.

Hilarious but I hope to god they are faked. I suddenly love my own group a lot now

David,She's given all the indications that she doesn't like you.

Just back the fuck off

>>4580714

You come to my house, you drink my fucking beer, you rape my gnomes. Get the fuck out.

Best bit

"You were going to pretend Shanes wife was that hot pocket, you were going to go masturbate into the hot pocket wernt you?"

"Thats it Im killing Shanes wife. BUT SHES THE LAST WOMAN HOW WILL I REPRODUCE"

>>4580714
Holy fucking shit just wow. After watching all three of these I don't know who I hate more, David or the guy who was DM in the 1st video.
The other one seems to be the only remotely normal person there, and maybe the extra guy that joined them in the 3rd.

>>4580921

Best parts:

"YOU WERE GOING TO PRETEND THAT HOT POCKET WAS A DWARF'S VAGINA!"

"No I was..."

"YOU SICK FUCK!"

and

"What does it feel like?"

"LIKE A BREAST, DAVID!"

"What does a breast feel like?"

Freeform roleplaying. Ah, what the hell. I used to roleplay on AOL, back when I had a seemingly terminal case of The Dumb. It's currently in remission, or at least it seems to be. Anyway, I had been observing one of the chat rooms for a while, trying to decide what kind of character I'd try to play to best fit in with the setting and the players that had already gathered.

As far as the eye could see, it was just god-level characters. One had telekinesis and some kind of prescience. Thief characters would probably be killed off by this guy before they had a chance to steal anything. Another was "the best spell-caster in the world," with the side-power of being able to cast spells by just thinking about them. Well, that eliminates being able to play as a bumbling mage. Yet another was a fifth Generation Malkavian that seemed to have the curious ability to use people's profiles to his advantage. Anything you wrote in there, the player would grant his character knowledge of, and the character would act accordingly. Irritating, but I guess it was creative enough.

The characters that paraded through were each trying to have dark and mysterious pasts, but were too busy trying to enthrall each other to listen to one another's story.

But then someone entered as a crab. A crab that smoked cigars. A crab that drank martinis. A crab whose name was apparently "James Bond."

So brilliant actors or creepy nerdlings?

>>4580714

Rage meter:

Vid 1: 9/10 "Durr I see gnome! Raep time! Oh he won't talk? I'll set him on fire!"

Vid 2: 6/10 David was being a douche, to be sure. But it wasn't the "doing it for the lulz /b/tard bullshit in vid 1

Vid 3: 20/10 Yes, stealing a dragon egg is stupid. Let's be honest here, David isn't exactly Einstein and his character is probably just as dumb if not dumber. There's always going to be one egg stealer. The rage meter goes off the scale not for the egg stealing but for the "I'm a virgin" stupidity of David and the dwarf wife.

I'll never be able to eat a hot pocket again... :(

>>4581032

Creepy nerdlings

Seriously, I don't see them as being that good of actors. I do have to wonder how old David is, though. His voice gets all high and squeaky when he gets excited or starts yelling (see the part in vid 1 where he sets the gnome on fire)

>>4581049

Dave was a moron but the loud guy was just a dick.

>>4581062

Argh then humanity has lost all hope

Problem with the videos is that they seemed to lack some basic knowledge of the game. Also it was much too funny

>>4581067

Yes and no. The quest in vid 1 was salvageable (maybe have some other gnomes come to check on the one they tied to a tree) but I imagine the DM figured David would just raep them too.

>>4581062
>>I do have to wonder how old David is, though.

I'd say 16ish. The DM from vid 1 and the nimblebottom guy... 20s ish. The "I hate you David" guy about the same (20s ish).

>>4581031

Understand, I had planned to join this. I did. But when this crab entered, the place was immediately and irrevocably altered. The spell-caster didn't like that the crab was smoking, and attempted to put the cigar out by blasting it with water. James Bond's player's response was that it didn't make sense for a crab to have cigars that wouldn't work underwater. The mage was stymied.

The crab then revealed that it could speak, and did so, uttering the words "I pinch." The telekinetic/prescient one was then grabbed in the pincers of the crab. Apparently, he didn't see it coming, because the player accepted the action and acted accordingly. He telekinetically lifted the crab and dramatically demanded to know what the fuck he thought he was doing.

"I pinch," spoke James Bond, blowing a crabby smokering into the face of the psychic.

Then the Malkavian spoke up. "His name is Bond. James Bond." I checked the crab's profile. That was all that was written.

>>4580594

But the rations argument in video 2 was just pure bullshit.

>>4581081

And that is freeform roleplaying

>>4581071

The sad part? The guy behind the camera was taping their D&D sessions for his film class in university.

Way to give his fellow university students a great picture of D&D sessions.

"Is it like this every week?"

"No... there's usually less rape."

>>4581087

How would you have resolved it then? In fact how would you, as the DM, have resolved the gnome rape vid?

>>4581101

I would have probably just stopped the session and told him he couldn't play with us since he didn't look like he was having fun or taking it seriously. I'd tell him a bit more politly.

If it a friend or I just couldnt chuck him out for some reason I would save for a venerial disease. Then allow his fire idea and make his chaotic evil. The gnome would squeal about the dungeon or whatever.

>>4581081

The antics continued, and all I could do was watch. The psychic desperately tried to get the attention off of James Bond by changing the subject. The attempt failed when the crab whipped out a tiny martini kit and began mixing a drink for himself. The mage tried, oh so very hard, to thwart this attempt by setting fire to the martini with a magical spark. The crab stoically blew the fire out and drank it, saying unto her, "Delicious." The Malkavian tried to confuse the crab with his dementia. The crab nodded along with him, adding one or two words where it deemed appropriate, and continued to wreak social havoc with the supposedly all-powerful characters as if nothing had happened.

Before the end of the night, the crab had singlehandedly derailed the roleplaying. The mage was pregnant with the child of the psychic, who, despite being male, carried the child of the Malkavian, albeit with a little help from the vengeful mage. The crab suggested it. The bar had been completely destroyed, after the crab said that the alcohol in it sucked. The psychic did it for him.

I'd never seen that much chaos from a single, simple character before. I left the chat at six in the morning, having learned a lesson.

I fucking hate players that are charismatic online. I hate them to death.

>>4581032

Yes. No difference.

>>4581081
Good God... is there any more to that story?

>>4581081

I peench.

>>4580594


Its very late and while writing that post I could of sworn it made more sense than that mess of incoherent crap

>>4581121
James Bond was played by a goddamn genius, it seems.

>>4581139

You have no idea. I wish I had the presence of mind to save the log of the events that transpired that night. As it stands, I can only try to describe it with my simple grasp of English.

When told of the psychic's traumatic and dark past of being locked away in an insane asylum for having hallucinations that seemed to almost always come true, followed by his daring escape, with guns blazing and syringes jabbed into the throats of hospital workers and explosions all around, James Bond smoked his cigar, then replied "Very exciting."

At which point the other two tried their DAMNEDEST to impress this crab in the same way.

>>4581031
>>4581081
>>4581121

"It's like... ze story is about me!"

>>4581121
>>4581081
>>4581031
oh wow

I love James Bond the crab.

Also, the David videos are stupendously badly faked, in my opinion.

ITT: We're too pussy to kick someone out of our RPG group

James Bond, in his youth.

>>4581121
Are you kidding? I would have solicited a sample of his/her gametes, that I might be a father to his offspring!

James Bond needs some drawfaggin.

That is the most awesome crab ever. I hereby vow to never eat seafood again, in honor of his greatness.

(Well, maybe some shrimp or trout or something now and then, but no crustaceans.)

>>4581310

No, no, you've got it wrong. You eat them, eat them to gain their power!

Some add the crab story to 1d4chan! Do it!

>>4581226

Your "ITT" describes exactly one post in this entire thread, jackass. Go fail elsewhere.

>>4580594
>>4581081
>>4581031
>>4581121
Fucking hilarious.

>>4581390
ITT: Best crab evar.

There, will that suffice?

Most of my horror stories for freeform roleplaying are centered around the god level characters, like the ones from >>4581031, >>4581081, and >>4581121. A prime example was Draco Somethingsomething, the self-proclaimed "Dragon God Of Death." Draco stands out a little in my mind, though, because he was an anime-style character. A pretty-boy, dark sunglasses, armor, a ridiculous collection of swords. He also had magic, could use any weapon he set his hands to, the power to see into the future and the past, elemental control of water, a giant dragon form, and a lot of other things that I don't remember.

But what makes him stand out in my mind isn't what he did, but what was done to him. Some new guy showed up in our channel and asked if he could join us. Preparing for the worst, we allowed him in. The new guy played a baseline, forty year old human, who apparently had experience in a city guard. An NPC character, in other words. He had no special talents, no magic weaponry, nothing that would make him stand out from a crowd of commoners, except bitterness and life experience.

>>4581462

So when Draco, being the nosy ass that he was, asked the new guy what his story was, the guard just looked him over and said "Just got off work a little while ago, son. Working to make sure people like you don't slaughter us all." Draco asked what he meant. "I mean people like you. With your superpowers and your fire and your swords and your raining-death-on-the-landscape nonsense. I save lives." Draco replied that he'd saved the world no less than five times during his zillions of years on the world. "Yeah? How many people died from a deflected lightning bolt or fireball you threw?" Draco said that he didn't know. "Ever think maybe people like you are the reason the world needs saving so much, son? Power attracts power and all that." Draco asked if the guard was implying that he was responsible for the world being in danger so much. "That's about the gist of it." Draco said that he could kill the guard for insulting his honor like that. "Yeah? And what'd that prove, exactly? That I'm right, and all you're good for is killing people?" Draco found himself at an impasse. The guard stood himself up and grunted. "I'm leaving. Didn't know this bar served monsters, before I walked in, and it's made my stomach turn. Night." And he walked out.

Hilariously enough, when I talked to Draco's player about it, he told me he'd never thought about it from that angle before.

>>4581462
>>4581465

This pleases me greatly. Would that I could have seen it myself.

>>4581462
>>4581465

Hahaha, oh wow. I've got a guy like that in one of my freeform groups. I'll have to see if I can do that to him.

What started out as a horrible players thread has become fuckwin. James Bond and that guard are awesome and their players should feel awesome.

>>4581623
The guard and the crab should meet.

Then, ADVENTURES!

Until a real drawfag immortalises James Bond, I humbly submit this representation.

>>4581462
>>4581465
Holy shit, you were visited by Sam Vimes.

>>4581736

How I archived thread?

Anon, someone needs to 1d4chan James Bond, and the SuperGuard. Preferably describing their wacky hijinx together in pessimistic sitcom format.
"James and The Guard." I can see it now.

>>4581736

I like the eyebrows.

>>4581766
I've always wanted to RP Vimes in something, but I know I'd never do it justice.

Why is it that every time we have a thread about roleplaying horror stories, it gets hijacked with awesome?

>>4581974

Because tits.

>>4581974
Because we're the MOTHERFUCKING TRADITIONAL GAMES BOARD!

WE GET SHIT DONE!

A world weary guard with a week until retirement. His new partner; a debonair crab with nothing to lose and a taste for martinis.

Together, they are all that keep the world safe from power mad demi-gods.

Summer 2010: Pinch Patrol

>>4582024

Eternally a week from retirement. My god.

What system would we use for such august personalities?

>>4582024

>>4582024
/tg/ sure seems to be into this buddy cop thing lately, what with the thing with the rats and now with the crab.

>>4582222
It's a random generator on a website: http://www.theyfightcrime.org/

>>4582264
You're blaming a website for /tg/ wanting to pair Vimes with a crab named James Bond and Freya with Ink-Eyes?

>>4582304
What if... what if they were all part of the same universe? Like different CSIs?

>>4582264
Or I could have just written it. With my human hands and thinking meats.

>>4580622
In my experience, girls really like to do these AWESOME MARY SUE characters.

>>4582317
Oh.

Shit.

Mind.

Blown.

This may be the breath of fresh air we need to revitalize that Clubbed to Death project.

... see what I did there?

Dear James Bond Crab and random Guard posters:

Thank you. You made my night.

Signed, anonymous.

I hate my party so much.

As current DM I think it's just sheer luck that I'm keeping the plot and game interesting enough that the players haven't fucking done something as drastic as murder and cannibalize one another at the table.

We've got Mr. Pushover and his super bitch girlfriend who all she does is pout all game long and ruin everyone's time and is a big pile of fucking oversensitive as well as being insensitive towards others as her marvelous double standard.. Mr. Pushover I generally like though which is the only reason his girlfriend can come, though I'm about ready to boot her the fuck out of the group.

>>4582549
Mr. Antisocial is fucking anti social and talks to people he doesn't know as if they're perfectly equal which is usually bad for those with egos like Mr. Pushover's girlfriend. I don't have a problem with that so much as the fact that all he does is make sure to threaten people and grumble about anything that isn't handled with him not being in charge. At least that's how it seems to me, he's also having problems adjusting to the new rules for Star Wars Saga Edition and keeps complaining, "But this is how it wooorked in the last Star wars d20..."
Mr. Blabbermouth is a new guy, not so bad but doesn't know when to hold his fucking questions. I'll be in the middle of describing action and he pipes up.
Mr. Flake and his girlfriend are nice, but Mr. Flake tends to flake. Last session he left in the middle, in the last 4 sessions, he only stayed for one, another he just showed up to introduce his girlfriend and left.
Mr. Loudmouth has a problem with not shutting the hell up when the DM is trying to talk and tries to rules lawyer when he barely knows the damn rules. His girlfriend is the only girlfriend who plays fairly regularly.
Ms. Twitchy is girlfriend of Mr. Loudmouth and she has a problem with asking questions and any time you give her something more complex than "Push button, recieve loot" she would have this nervous tic where she'd twitch and spaz out, though she wouldn't make any noise.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/James_Bond

People, feedback.

I made my own tabletop game, and out of the few games we've played, my players have been pretty groovy.

One guy tends to complain when the group doesn't do whatever he says, for example: they're spread out in a hallway, and from one end they hear a prisoner calling for help. Mr Paladin insists that it's a trap (which could be smart, but it wasn't) and freaks out when the rest of the team goes to check the prisoner out.

The Mage knows me and my habits WAY too well, and has caused problems for my dungeon planning. He knows how I think, so he's correctly predicted quite a few trap locations and monster abilities, while I rage silently. I have to be on my toes.

It's not really a "horror story", but it pissed me the fuck off to no end. Playing D&D with my friends. We've got a good party dynamic going on: Warlord based off Judge Dredd, a racist Dwarf who's family prophecy is to stand on the highest land, but is afraid of heights, a Dragonborn Warden who is a big tree hugger, but also pretty suave when dealing with NPCs, and me, the half-elf Ranger who is possibly the only living part-elf left in the world since elves died off 3000 years ago.

We work together amazingly. The Dwarf hates half-races (loves calling them "whore-sons"), but doesn't know I'm part elf. The conversations he and the Dragonborn get into are priceless.

But then, the DM's girlfriend wants to come into the game. Ok, sure, we just lost our on-and-off Rogue and Wizard, so one more is nice. She's a Halfling druid. Cool. She even has drawings of her character and her beast form, which is some weird original-character-do-not-steal!-looking half-cat half-bird thing. Don't ask. Whatever.

Anyway, we need to hook her into the group. We happened to be headed for a temple set into a mountain, and as we're coming near it, the DM has me roll a percep, and I find some strange tracks. I make a nature check, can't tell what they are. I decide to investigate. Follow 'em to a dead end, which is basically a rocky alleyway, surrounded by shear cliffs about 30 feet tall. Couple rocks fall from a ledge above me, and my Ranger's instinct it to whip out his bow and point at where they came from.

I see her half-bird, half-cat thing, but no amount of nature check will help me identify it. So, I keep my bow pointed, because fuck, this is a random monster I've never seen before.

Silence in the room.

I make it known again that I have a bow nocked, with the arrow pulled back, ready to shoot at this unknown animal. I'm a hunter, after all.

(Cont...)

>>4582660 CONT


Silence.

She pipes up and lets us know the cat-thing looks tired. We decide it's not a threat and walk away. I;m of course not actually talking to this thing, because I'm not fucking crazy, and don't go around talking to animals, hoping they talk back.


So we walk away. Thing leaps off the ledge and starts walking after us. I pull my bow and aim, because what the fuck.

Silence.

"Grishnak, I think this...thing...is following us. Should I shoot it?"

"Hold. It doesn't seem to be getting closer, or making any move."

So we walk a bit more. It follows, like 20 paces behind.

Finally, it takes like, 5 minutes for the DM to convince her that she's not being "mysterious and cryptic", she's just being a weird ass animal, and to change into her humanoid form to actually talk to us and join the party.

She lasted two sessions after that one. Never said a word to an NPC the whole time.

Half-elf ranger? That's pretty out there. Your DM let you get away with that?

I once was invited to play in a game where one of the players was a pink Minotaur, and another some kind of angel chick. I did not join in.

>>4582709
Is that supposed to be sarcasm? I can't tell.

Honestly, I thought Half-Elf Ranger was the most cliche'd class there was. Turns out, I've never, ever seen anyone else pick a Ranger in my life. Or a Half-Elf for that matter.

It just happens to fit into my DM's campaign, too, since we end in Elf-land.

>Mr. Loudmouth has a problem with not shutting the hell up when the DM is trying to talk

DEAR GOD THIS. If he wasn't such a good roleplayer and sometimes being an okay guy, I could not stand him.

>>4582557
Potentially Blabbermouth here.
Is Twitchy known by the name Squeek? Wait, a few members of the group frequent /tg/ and may be angry. Blink once if yes, and twice if no.

It was sarcasm indeed. I don't know if it became a cliche before or after Dragonlance, but Dragonlance certainly seemed to spurn it on. That silly Drow didn't help things either. If you like it and it fits, play it. Just because it is a cliche doesn't mean it isn't fun.

>>4582709
>>4582744
Half-elf ranger was the first character I ever played in a D&D game. In my defense, it was three years later that Dragonlance was published.

>>4582569

I like the whole Hard-boiled detective narrative you added in, but if I had to state a problem, the narrative makes the story sound a little fake, or, maybe I'm just looking to deeply into meaningless things.

>>4582780
To be fair, I am basing the character off the main character of my graphic novel, which is the transposition of a story I wrote in like, middle school about a character who a few years earlier was based off Trunks from Dragon Ball Z. Yes, it has come a long, long, long way from there.

Also, he's a two-sword Ranger that almost never uses his bow, and recently has been collecting daggers to strap to his body, and just bought a nifty set of pistols to keep on his back for no reason. He likes to fight things. And is really stealthy. He might as well be a Rogue.

But come on. Every class is cliche. D&D is cliche. Nothing will ever be more so than the Barbarian, Wizard, and Rogue, though.

Oh god, the crab. I wish I were skilled enough to steal that idea and actually pull it off.

>>4582822
Nah man, I think you managed to beat them.

>>4582557
>>4582549
You hang out with some oddball jerks.

Solution: You may not bring your girl/boyfriend. It really helps to cut out the stupid and the drama.

Alright. I play in one game and there is one players that just pisses me right off. Let me explain.

1) He's one of those people who constantly asks to reroll dice if things don't go his way. Didn't confirm the crit? "Can I roll that again, please?"

2) When it comes to divvying loot, he's the kind of person who can't understand "I take basically every magical item I could possibly use" as a problem. Just bam. "Oh, I take these ten items. (OR everything worth having)"

3) Constant obsession with sexual things. Paraphrased from what a DM to him conversation. "No, you can't have a harem of women." "Why not?" "Because all women in the world have zombie crotch and teeth with vaginas. Which is why you're all single." "Can I have cuddle-slaves then?"

4) Doesn't understand the concept of a character flaw.
We were allowed them if they applied to a character, he wanted it to give a feat and a skill bonus and a stat bonus.

5) Constant complaining about class limitations. "Can I wear this armor? "Is it in your class list?" "No. But it's not fair that I can't wear armor."

6) Also, constant complaining about the price of shit. "I want this EPIC LEVEL ITEM, but it's 2 million GP. Hey, DMNAME, can you make it cheaper for me?"

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR LOOKING AT ONLINE FANTASY GROUND BASED GAMES

>>4582569

Poster of the tale here.

I like what you did with it.

>>4582938
Man, I would never want to do without the couple in my game. They're both great roleplayers and almost always play related characters--married/dating couples, siblings, friends, whatever--and play off of each other, giving me and everyone else a lot to work with. They're some of the best people I've ever gamed with.

Although I have the sneaking suspicion that with their latest set of characters, they have in-character sex. (Not at the table.)

>>4582953
They're currently doing a take on the whole "dwarven and elven warrior save each others' lives and become pals" thing, which is cliche, but the execution is great. The rest of the group keeps teasing their characters about having the hots for each other.

>>4582938
Last time we did this, the group dissolved in the resulting drama and it took almost a year to get a new stable group, the one we're currently running.

The most hilarious part is that because they can't get along, each of them has a bad issue with wanting "to be the guy." I'm considering sticking to online-only groups so I don't have to deal with their bullshit. Even though I've only DMed two sessions, I've been a PC in the group longer and even as a PC their bullshit has been such a stressor in my life I can barely keep up with college classwork (though I pull through). I know at least one or two of the bunch I'd like a meteor to strike them dead, and not necessarily the people I named. There's some other drama, such as Mr. Pushover suddenly being a friend who's nonexistant until this one day of the week as I never hear from him anymore, we never go out and do shit for giggles anymore, and I can tell that he lies about not being able to do stuff half the time.

Running one more session and if there's any fuckups like there has been, there's either going to be a dissolving or some player cuts.

Bump for JAMES BOND and I RAPE THE GNOME

>>4580714
...I...I couldn't take it.

>>4582304
Who/what is ink eyes and what is it from?

>>4583430
Ink Eyes is a nezumi (ratfolk) ninja who has sold her soul to the oni (demons). From the Kamigawa block of Magic: the Gathering, focusing on a fantasy Japanese-themed world where the gods turn against the world of men.

Well, I had a couple of guys I booted out before they even managed to join my game.

2nd edition AD&D. The first of them wanted to play a gnome, that's pretty okay. Bard? Well, usually gnomes can't be bards, but sure!

Then he whips out this line: "SECOND EDITION AD&D IS PRETTY HIGH IN MAGIC. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE THEORY THAT ALL HIGH-MAGIC SETTINGS WILL EVENTUALLY DEVELOP MAGITEK."

"...What? No. I don't WANT to hear that theory. What are you getting at?"

"MY GNOME WILL HAVE A STEAM-POWERED CAR."

"No, no he won't."

"FINE, I SEE HOW IT IS. ALL YOU WANT IS HACK AND SLASH DUNGEON CRAWLING. I GUESS THIS GAME ISN'T FOR ME ANYWAY."

The second guy just "accidentially" snuck a Bag of Holding and a +1 weapon unto his character sheet. Because "oh, right, accident with the sword, and I thought ALL characters got a Bag of Holding!"

I also kicked a third guy, he actually joined the game... but hadn't finished his character sheet.

"Okay, Hear Noise check from you."

[dude rolls a D20]

"Uh, it's a percentile roll."

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT."

"Maybe by reading the book before you make a character, chucklefuck?"

"WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT I FORGOT TO DO IT NOW I'M GOING TO SIT HERE AND DO MY THIEF SKILLS."

"What in God's name. Okay, let's just assume you fucked up the roll and keep on going."

[Player leaves unceremoniously and never returns.]

>>4583545

Another guy I'm stuck in games with just... he cannot roleplay, that is the only way to describe it. Half the time he ignores what's going on around him and basically plays a lolrandumb anime character, usually ignoring every part of his character concept to do so. He's also a dude who always plays female characters, he's not creepy about it, he just can't fucking roleplay.

All of his characters are completely bland and he's so uncharismatic that he is entirely unable to take the initiative about anything, at his worst he tries to force his way into the spotlight despite other characters currently being center stage. Always finishes his character sheets late, too.

The worst part is that I feel so sorry for him that I can't bring myself to boot him. He's not a bad person, just completely bereft of creativity and initiative, plus a little bit stupid.

>>4583545
Your fault for running 2E.

>>4583596
>The worst part is that I feel so sorry for him that I can't bring myself to boot him. He's not a bad person, just completely bereft of creativity and initiative, plus a little bit stupid.
If he's bothering the other players with his stupidity and uselessness, and you don't think you can teach him, it's for the best to just cut him loose.

>>4581031
>But then someone entered as a crab. A crab that smoked cigars. A crab that drank martinis. A crab whose name was apparently "James Bond."

G.. glorious..

I grew a liking for entering as a cat. A house cat. I'd be normal.. then suddenly breath fire at someone. Then they tried to kill me(always with the attempts on my life, you'd think I just tried to burn them to death). I threw them off by talking.

OH FUCK TALKING CAT.

Every time.

Having bought time I turned into a girl. A naked girl. This always dissuaded further violence for some odd reason.

>>4583596
you seem like a pretty fair/sensitive DM. Don't be so hard on him, unless it is detracting the experience for the other players. So long as fun is had. Who knows, you might, over time, be able to nudge him in the right direction, challenge him to roleplay and whatnot. Maybe not, but what the hey.

>>4583545

How did you kick out the second guy? Did you just sit there and be like "No, that was on purpose. You're gay. Get out of here."

>>4583649

Yeah, I realize that, but we all have our faults.

>>4583664
>>4583703

I'm not hard on him, I'm trying to teach him, but... goddammit. It's like NOTHING SINKS IN, it's like he can't be fucked to even try. Like he gives up before he even tries.

He does annoy the other players at times, like when he tries to "steal" scenes, or when someone ignoring something stupid he says makes him wander off into a corner of the room and claw at things(he literally did this two times, both on board a spaceship. To dissuade further attempts I said the second time almost hit an active plasma conduit.).

Recently me and the other guy who's stuck with him as a player have been trying to convince him to... well, make his characters CHARACTERS. Most people seem to actually get somewhat into their role, he just seems to sit around and wonder which cliché to deploy.

Any advice, /tg/? He's really a decent guy, he just needs some help and I think I could make a good roleplayer out of him.

>>4583713

Well, first I asked him why the hell they were on his character sheet. Then I told him to not try to pull any bullshit on me, but that I'd let it pass this one time because he was relatively new to roleplaying.

Then he threw a fit and left, whining all the way.

I always noticed back when friends used to try to drag me into it, that freeform roleplay channels ALWAYS have some guy who comes in as something massive that just... swallows the place everyone's playing in (usually an inn) and every time everyone just role-plays around them.

In fact, it must happen so often Elf Only Inn actually did do a comic about that sort of thing with the LordOfDorkness invasion.

>>4583738
Yeah, the entire reason I got out of the freeform roleplaying scene was because I couldn't stand the other people anymore.

>>4583738
Fuck yea! ElfOnlyInn!

>>4583757
I think it's a matter of being pickier about it. App-based games help, and, eventually, those 'I post a full page per pose' people will all find each other, because they tend to get super pissy when they give this huge, meta-filled, highly redundant work of fiction, and all they get back from you is you responding to the stuff your character would actually, you know, respond to.

You make no reaction to the desc that he feels the need to include in every pose, other than referring to them, possibly as "the white haired man" in a post, and give a quick line or two of dialog, perhaps with an action in it. They either learn to stop trying to write a damn romance novel or run off in a fit to go find some game that gathers people that insist on at least 5 lines per pose.

What IRC channels are you guys freeform roleplaying on?

My group consists of Mr. Crazy, Mr. Apathy, Ms. Wapanese, Mr. Stubborn, Mr. Cornflake, myself, and Mr. Newguy.

Mr. Crazy is a phenomenal GM. He knows the rules, he's a good roleplayer, and he's really creative. I don't really have any complaints about his game-table behavior.

Mr. Apathy is hard to complain about. He likes crunching numbers and making repetetive, loud noises during the session; which is annoying, but other than that and his cookie-cutter roleplay concepts, he's okay.

Ms. Wapanese is a great roleplayer and a generally nice person, but gets pissy about stuff way too easily... which pairs up horribly with the fact that she's bad at basic math. She also has no qualms with ripping her charater concepts straight out of a damn anime (which makes me rage).

Mr. Stubborn blows shit way out of proportion almost every single session, and when he gets riled up he turns everything into a long-winded shitstorm. "A party member tried to slap me! I'll spend five minutes being a jackass and threatening her with death, as well as arguing with other party members for no apparent reason. Derp."

Mr. Cornflake is a great roleplayer, a good numbercruncher, likes to try new systems out, always has creative character concepts, and is usually a very good party-leader type. The only downside to his presence is that out of character, he can sometimes be a dick. The real downside is that he's NEVER FUCKING HERE TO PLAY THE DAMN GAME.

Me? I'm moderately creative, a decent roleplayer, okay at math, willing to try most new systems, and unless I'm just being lazy, my character concepts are mildly original. I lack initiative and make a rather shitty party-leader, but I make up for it being a handsome motherfucker.

Mr. Newguy likes to make immature jokes, but he's a generally nice guy, even if his characters all seem to be stuck fluctuating back and forth between mute and obscenely energetic.

>>4583775
But I hate those pretentious "write a page per post" people almost as much as I hate the "no grammar and spelling" crowd.

I'd rather post a nice paragraph, it's better that way usually. The last good group I was in went pretty well, I did a really good job of roleplaying a blind wind mage.

Observation about James Bond.

The crab probably did so well because he was an open ear. All those god characters were too busy telling their tale to listen to someone else. So they jumped at the first person that would do it.

Also, the sheer audacity of the character. The BALLS. It was a crazy character.. simple.. but utterly insane in its simplicity. Shit like that always worked well in AoL RP.

I can't dish on any DnD games without the old IRC channel jumping down my throat IN THIS VERY THREAD and causing a dramafest, but I have plenty of Free Form horror stories back when I still did that.

>>4583757
My friends eventually grew out of freeform IRC roleplay, but then went into MUCKs.

For those not in the know, a MUCK is like a MUD which were sort of like proto-mmos really. But MUCKs (and their various alternate forms) had none of the actual combat or anything. It was all pure roleplaying, but not necessarily GOOD roleplaying. They all got into this fairly large one with sex and slavery and all sorts of quasi-cybersex stuff.

I went in, made a character and joined their characters in a large social square and saw WARMASTER HORUS threatening to rape a slave-girl.


Yeah.

>>4583839
Tell us all, or Mr Bond gets it.

>>4583839

Then drop the freeform horror bizzigity-bomb on us, dawg.

>>4583836

It's important to find a balance in EVERYTHING about a character. Make him interesting enough to be noticed, but not someone who constantly steals the spotlight. Give him enough backstory that he seems real, but not so much that he's got a more interesting past than anything he gets up to in the present.

>>4583879
Oh god, it was Shangrila, wasn't it?

Knew some guys that played furniture there. Not furniture with dicks or anything, just furntiture, desced as sexily as they could manage.

They found Jesus.

>>4583882
I don't give a shit, even if he lives, he'd still be condemned to be a British person.

OH SHIT THAT'S CRAB BOND, NEVERMIND, I'LL DO WHAT YOU ASK

One time, in free form days, my char found out his girl was cheating on him.

So he poisoned her then chopped her to bits. The player accepted the death and everything. Sweet.

>>4583839
I still like you Fuuka.
-Nacht.

>>4583892
That'd be the one. One friend decided to just perma-lurk and log everything in that main square (Xanadu?) and he caught some dude as Steve Irwin harassing people role-playing wolves.

But seriously, when I saw Horus in there telling his dark and moody backstory to some slave catgirl thing who just wanted to swallow down CHAOS COCK but had to be all submissive about it, I wondered WHY my friends wanted to play there.

Apparently they had heaps of fun and intrigue will people they knew. I never actually saw any of this and wondered if they were just trying to make me do something to humiliate myself.

>>4583882

You fools! You're already dead.

>>4583839
>I can't dish on any DnD games without the old IRC channel jumping down my throat IN THIS VERY THREAD and causing a dramafest, but I have plenty of Free Form horror stories back when I still did that.

Lets see.

The cat turning into a naked girl(hey.. she didn't know how to conjure clothing). Mainly a firebug sort. Melee ranged. Why could she turn into a cat? I have no clue. I was young and dumb. This was my early teens here. Just consider it an odd racial ability. Despite being my first AOL character, I somehow avoided marysueism and god character shit. She just had the usual holes from inexperienced young writer syndrome.

Anyway, she fell in love with a guy. No cyber, but they were always together and lovey dovey. She fell in love because of the whole knight in shining armor bit. My girl was in danger(despite being able to PUNCH YOU WITH FIRE). Guy rode in and axed them(literally) and whisked her away.

Got kinda dull after a while. Had doubts about being connected at the hip with this guy. She expressed a desire to be apart for a while.. maybe she rushed into it too fast.

He came apart at the seams. He hauled up his axe and started toward her. They were going to be together.. or she was going to be with no one. He heavily implied that chopping her into bits was in her future.

Then he suddenly lost connection.

And he never signed on again. Ever. I was both thankful and sad. I didn't want her to die, but after having time to think about it I decided they made an awesome team of sorts(which is what I wanted time to decide on..).

The character in question got retired because of "random RP bullshit". She was just around so long and subjected to so much crazy random events through AOL that I couldn't keep her going without just restarting the character from scratch(I had pride in the fact that I didn't wipe away anything. it all counted if i RPed it).

Makes me sad though. Good times..

>>4583839
As someone who joined after you, I want to hear.

I was remarking to my girlfriend (by which I mean my right hand since I'm on 4chon) about this one time my character was violently raping some girl, and this talking wolf he knew ran up and was like HEY DARION HEY DARION LETS PLAY

and I was like "I'm too busy raping this chick, hold on!" and she (the wolf) was like "FIVE MINUTES TO WRESTLE, FIVE TO MATE, THEN YOU'RE DONE"

>>4583883
I getcha.

I really wish that my last group didn't fall apart out of lack of time, everyone was really good.

Side note: Is it a bad thing that my freeform roleplay characters have gotten farther with a chick than I have?

I had a strange RL RP situation where we were camping and had no dice so we rolled by guessing the amount of fingers the GM was holding up behind his back depending on the difficulty of the roll the closer to correct we had to be. Well we were young and I played a catgirl that could turn into a panther all well and good.... eventually we blew up an alchemy lab and me and the dwarf that were there got affected by the potions... we got super stoned effectively and horny. There was also a potion of fertility in the mix... HALF DWARF CAT BABIES! We ended up settling down in a city running a crime ring and an inn with the other players.. them being things like a sentient stone golem and a troll.

>>4583977
>We ended up settling down in a city running a crime ring and an inn with the other players.. them being things like a sentient stone golem and a troll.
0/10?

>>4583959

Oh so wrong.

>>4583927
It's... weird. I know a bunch of people who play there just because they honestly don't give a shit what you play, and you can sandbox damn well whatever you want.

The slaves there amuse me. It's not even 'player wants it, character doesn't' it's 'character wants it bad, but is 'passive' so they wait until it's given to them.' It's...

Yeah. Xanadu=The Far Realm of freeform RP.

>>4583959
More inevitable than anything.

>>4583959
You think that's bad?

I have around 80-90 logfiles from various freeform RPs.

I have been repeatedly complimented and praised for my sexual abilities.

I've only been kissed once. ;-;

>>4583987
we had no books and no dice... we were motherfucking bored

>>4583936
More love tales from the same character(who was named simply.. cat.. then kitty later on... SHUT UP!).

Some guy that could turn into a wolf saved her in a forest(sensing a pattern her). I mean full on wolf and no wolf traits in human form. Guess we had the same brainwave but for different animals. Anyway, they hit it off(read: i was a ho). Guy was named Aries. Powerful guy.

I had to kill the bastard cause he turned out to be crazy AND evil. Oh boy! Killing your love with your own hands!

And later his son showed up(rped by the same guy). In retrospect, I think the player was too hung up on me OUT OF CHARACTER to let go. Yes, this is where the story gets bad.

Maybe because I actually enjoyed talking to him OOC. I let the whole HIS SON thing slide. A lot of the time I forgot they were supposed to be different characters. I wanted a reason to stay associated with him, perhaps. Hell, he even got me into hacking.

I was too young and dumb to realize it at the time, but that he wanted to call me was the first sign of trouble. That we lived in the same state didn't help dissuade his advances. I made up various excuses for why I couldn't call(I'M MUTE.. what was I thinking telling him that). Wanted pictures. Then he wanted to meet me. Even said he could stop by my town and we could find a place to meet.

>>4584006
When I kept deflecting his advances he.. got desperate. Threatened to kill himself a few times. I couldn't talk to other male characters IC without him throwing a fit.

Then he tried to hack me and trace my location, which didn't work. Tried to hack my accounts to get addresses.

It ended in one final giant shitfest, and I didn't see him for a long time afterward. Didn't sign on.

Years down the road.. suddenly IMs me. He went into the armed forces. Career was his plan. He's a tech guy(handles the equipment for his group.. only tech guy they have). He was even part of the recent conflicts(OH SHIT I HEARD AN EXPLOSION GOTTA GO.. that was a crazy conversation). Even ended up with a wife and a kid.

Seems like he has his shit strait now.

My Dark Heresy group made their characters the cast of King of the Hill.

The Techpriest was Hank, the Guardsman was Bill, the Psyker was Dale and the Assassin was Boomhauer.

Not sure if that's a horror story, but they didn't tell me and it took me three sessions to catch on that the Techpriest really liked prometheum and prometheum accessories.

>>4582569
We need to log files to be upload! Come on storyfag, upload the logs!

>>4583722
Before games I give my players 'the talk'
Players get equal time, pay attention to each other, all players have their role, try not to power play, this that and the other. It is sometimes exhausting, but always turns out well, as I try to be consistent and constantly turn attention from player to player. It has even worked if the party decide to split up, and I try, as I turn from one player to the next, to leave each player at a mini cliffhanger, or with something to decide.

But if it doesn't sink in, like you said, there is less and less you can do. I think the best path for your to go down would be to give this guy a reason to like or pay attention to other characters. Something simple. A sibling, a mentor, an old friend, a war buddy, both of them can speak a particular language. Ease into the idea that interaction with others, rather than focussing on oneself can flesh out a character without you even trying. If you can find what he emotionally responds to (plenty of players can't walk past even the most petty of injustices) you can use this to nudge him around and challenge his actions to have some thought. People playing pure cliches and stealing limelight find motivation in egoism (or some such) and most of the tripes he will cause can stem from this. And be careful when taking him up on doing things that are silly (like running off to the corner). Depending on how you deal with that he could become indignant, defiant...but in the end, if he doesn't gel with these ideas, and his particular idea of gaming is set in stone, you have to ditch him or streamline the way you deal with him so he does not kill it for other players.
A DM has a tough job in evaluating how the other players are going and making sure everyone has a good time (probably the most important thing).

MUD gaming. LONG Story short, I was used as a boy toy by the wife in the hosting partnership of husband and wife.

"Can we RP this out in AIM?" was the first warning sign.

>>4584054
Moar about this

Also, is this going to be archived or what

>>4584054
That's amazing. How'd you respond and how'd the storyline finish?

Nadelle Bunnay.

You heard that right. A dumb name for a dumb character. I made her when hermaphrodites were at their height on AOL. I wasn't joining the fad. It was more mocking it. It was a joke character made on a whim.

Her sole purpose was to be a giant bitch and then cockblock the role players that did nothing but find people to cyber with. All the sexy uptight bitch stereotypes I could think of and cram in. Wears leather? Wears leather! Makeup? Makeup! High heels! Sexy walkan! Big juicy tits and obvious crotch bulge. Even.. gasp.. furry. Yes. Guess the species. Three guesses.

And as big of an irritating bitch as I could possibly pull. The kind that had an army of servants so she wouldn't have to lift a finger. I did not want her to be liked or even appreciated. I was just in an odd sort of sadist mood when I made her. I wanted to just be mean. I never sexed with her. I only ever treated people horribly. I even threw in some EVIL CRAZY MAD SCIENTIST in to further fuck with people. None of the elements needed to make sense at all. I didn't bother justifying anything about her. I just wanted to fuck with people.

And everyone I met fucking LOVED HER.

It baffles me to this day. Everyone loved the shit out of her. Loved loved loved. They wanted a piece of her something bad.

AOL had a lot of the kind of people that liked being stepped on rather than doing the stepping.

If you catch my drift.

>>4584060

Yeah, thanks for the help, I was considering a few solo sessions to help him maybe make more of his character. You never know, maybe he just needs a chance to develop his character on his own for a bit, before introduction to a slightly competetive enviroment.

>>4584063
Well, some highlights include:

Techpriest saying "I'm gonna kick your ass!" then punting a cultist into an underhive sewer with his bionic legs.

Psyker saying "POCKET SAND!" when he used flash bang.

Assassin never saying anything coherent, but still somehow having the best Fellowship in the group.

Guardsman being mostly useless and very susceptible to Fear.

>>4584085
yeah, sounds like a good idea

>>4584054
Oh god, I'm never going to be able to play a techpriest again without giggling.

Well, Not so much a horror story, But a explanation of my current group:

-Mr. Dragonborn: Plays a Dragonborn Warlock, He thinks Dragonborn are the best thing ever and is proud of being one (...Both in and out of character). He's a pretty good roleplayer (If not sometimes repeditive and annoying) and knows most of the rules by heart, So aside from annoying people sometimes, Hes a solid player.

-Mr. Derp: A Tiefling Paladin of Melora (Yeah, I know, I did a double take when he said thats what he wanted to be), He's alright at roleplaying, if not a bit too random, But he's horrible at actually playing. He still asks to see the PHB to see what Holy Strike does. Past our 10th session. Theres a reason he's called Mr. Derp after all.

-Mr. Silent: A Human Paladin of Avandra. He's the quiet guy who's usually zoning out. He knows how to play well enough (Far better than Mr. Derp), But he hardly ever roleplays, He probably says less that a paragraph's worth in a whole session, And most of that being replies to questions. Ive actually had two players in other campaigns who have said even less that he has. He really just comes because he doesnt have anything else to do, But no one minds him being there because he never bothers anyone and he is useful in fights.

Then we have two 'reoccuring' characters (Players that only can make it sometimes because they have busy lives).

-Mr. Thief: A Human Rogue. The typical "I steal it" thief. He would take everything if he could hold it all. He really doesn't know when to stop, But he does cause quite a few laughs.

-Mr. Dragonborn 2- A Dragonborn Warlord. Much like Mr Dragonborn, This player is obssesed with dragonborn, moreso than the other player(He bought a book dedicated to the clans of the Dragonborn). He loves playing and is a great roleplayer, But he has a really busy schedule.

>>4584118
Mr. Derp and Mr. Silent would make great Dark City style Men in Black.

Played with an insane guy and neckbeard who was 'hurr hurr, I sleep with everyone'.

Aspie did nothing but talk to himself about demons and giggle loudly, it was horrible. He'd only act for combat, and afterwards he'd describe the blood and gore in lucid detail.

The neckbeard played as a prostitute. That was it. All skillpoints into erotic-based skills. Feats from that erotic expansion. Technically a rogue. A completely submissive women who would never really do anything, until we got to town of course when he would ALWAYS sleep with about twenty people in a night.

The GM clearly became very, very uncomfortable with both these players, and they were a major factor on the death of the game. A shame really, it was quite nice otherwise.

>>4584084
Now, an intermission. Some uplifting tales.

Catgirl character. Kitzy(don't ask where I got that.. I think a friend suggested it). I mean anime type. Not furry. This was before I even knew there were catgirls in anime or had heard of anthros or furry. I decided I just wanted a character with cat ears and a tail. She had a dagger that could extend into a full length sword on command. Other than being generally in shape, she had no special powers or talents aside from being a naturally brawler.

Being so mundane only made her accomplishments more impressive. I got in a fight with a vampire that wanted to have his way with her. I'm thinking he wasn't expecting me to resist it.. but we both ended up having lots of fun in the ensuing battle. I fought him off by her just being a clever little bitch and nothing else. Well, the extendo blade did give a SURPRISE FUCK YOOOOU that put a final end to the fight. I could have very well killed him had I not agreed, OoC, to let him live(and thus missed the heart). I hated the idea of losing my own characters.. so I cut him slack. He had a lot of fuck and hoped we could do it again. Sadly, I never got the chance to do so.

But that was her entire tone for RPing her in public. Seemingly vulnerable mundane catgirl gets picked on with the typical high powered crap and fights it all off with PURE GUTS and SKILL. Which is an odd choice for me.. as at that time in my life I was enthralled by high powered anime crap.

I think it happened kind of by accident. She was going to be social only.. but people just tried to take advantage of a mundane no power character. I decided NOT TO TAKE THEIR SHIT.

>>4584070
I rolled with it. Essentially, they'd been sent to this hive because of riots that had turned out to be Khornate cults that suddenly popped up in the underhive that turned out to have been street gangs at one point. They appeared at first to mostly be fighting one another, but later on it turned out that a small Tzeentchian cult was manipulating them into killing powerful crime lords and destabilizing the entire political structure of the underhive.

Now imagine Hank, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer trying to wrestle the control of this underhive back into the hands of the Imperium.

>>4582400
Hmm, I've known girls who come close, in a way. I mean, they don't have the SUPER AWESOME DEMI-GOD characters themselves, but they almost always want to date them in the RP. I like to think that I'm a pretty good freeform roleplayer. It is no fun when everyone is perfect. You have to let your character get some bruises, or just accept it when you're out-smarted. In other words, it takes a little maturity... no wonder it sucks 99% of the time.

>>4584165

I think I know one of the people posting in this thread.

Anyway, I did this roleplay over a year, and unfortunately four of my players were scared off by the other player and his girlfriend. It was sad. Technically only three left, the other didn't have the heart to say anything and tried to make excuses not to come whenever he could. It was such a sad end to what had in its prime been an epic game.

So, the game finally ends, because the quiet player finally admits the problems he's been having dealing with (and in retrospect I can what he meant) an unbearable, brusk, and domineering character that made the other three players far too uncomfortable with the play.

The player that everyone had a problem with annoyed quiet guy so much that quiet guy led a revolt against him (he'd literally taken over the country) and all shit breaked loose. I was very uncomfortable with a lot of problem guys actions for a while now - I dreaded interrogation scenes with him in and always tried to avoid them - so I went with it. Besides, the way he'd been dealing with people was very aggressive, so it made sense that he'd have alienated other political bodies.

Well, after some metagaming he reckoned one of the (still not started) revolt leaders was his deputy, so he fired her and appointed a guy from the very start been made out to be a creature like Nyarlathotep. Horror elements were a part of the rp you see - and I admit, in the last days of the game I tried desperately to throw the horror plot in the faces to make them follow it, which succeeded only in making quiet player sad and problem guy angry.

>>4584151
>>He had a lot of fuck and hoped we could do it again.

Dr Freud has called. He believes you've stolen his slip.

I used to do a lot of more-or-less-freeform RP on the ol' KK server on Neverwinter Nights, back in the day. A lot of people there were really fun, but sometimes people just went over the top...

To this day I will never know how, even if he was a werewolf, anyone could "smell" what class you are...

>>4584151
>He had a lot of fuck

Fun, rather.

The next on our list is what was something of a wandering monk type catgirl(yes.. I was obsessed okay? I'm over it now! tiefling is the new catgirl) that I drew inspiration from Katt of Breath of Fire. Used a quarterstaff and didn't wear no pants. Ever.

Originally just something of a martial artist(purely defensive) that got.. forcefully inducted into a clan. Her eventual capture was probably because of her wandering monk template. She wasn't going to really hurt anybody. Played a defensive game, but she couldn't end a conflict if she couldn't run faster than the other guy. By the time I realize I probably should have just fucked their shit up it was too late to leave. ONCE YOU ARE PART OF THE FAMILY and stuff. Had shiny new demonic powers centered around minor control of wind.

My response in character? After a while she just turns into a drunken party girl. Everyone else in the clan either went emo because of their enforced demonic state.. insane.. or just fought and made enemies left and right(leading to the eventual death of 99% of the family..). Never bothered to practice her wind powers.. thus they never grew to a useful level beyond parlor tricks(and yet I still whomped an assassin that killed a lot of the other higher powered family/clan members). I decided she took it in stride. Couldn't really be a holy monk anymore.. so normal girl life and worldly pleasures! She was very laid back, cool, and generally had her head on strait(unlike every other character ever on AOL). Her entrance was ALWAYS.. ALWAYS.. dancing in wearing headphones. She'd ignore everyone and jump on tables until specifically threatened with violence. Then she spends the rest of the time doing awkward drunk antics(while still retaining her martial prowess.. which did come in handy). Also, still no wearing pants.

>>4584273
I made her lots of friends, and she is the only surviving member of her clan(not made up either.. everyone else got iced in actual RP). Probably because she didn't make an enemy of ever person she ever met ever, and she didn't rely on element control to do EVERYTHING in a fight.

The only person she actually harassed was a guy called Nexus. God character of god characters. She threatened him with a strap on dildo every time she saw him(even barged into his bar wearing one once). I drew a sort of sick pleasure in tormenting him like that. She never once made good on her promise to stick it in his pooper. Though she did accidentally slice him in half once when she thought he could handle it(he got better but was very angry).

>>4584266
At least I know someone is reading this shit.

That is something.

>>4583959
You're as bad as me. One of my freeform characters was engaged and had a kid. His "wife" cheated on him, but he never found out until after I'd "officially" stopped roleplaying in that "group". Actually, he dated one other woman (we did cyber, once), and romanced two others but never got together with them.

I've never even stood on first base.

>>4584288
I iz reading tiz fun!

>>4584241
The remaining players at this point were Quiet Guy, who hated the roleplay by now and felt really guilty for feeling that way, and Problem Guy and Problem Guy's Girlfriend. The girlfriend was essentially passive; she's an experianced roleplayer but when rp'ing with Problem Guy she always ends up as his lackey/henchmen as long as Problem Guy is playing one of his two stock characters.

You know what the second one is?

Hooker with a heart of gold. That's why I said I might know one of the other posters - I was in a game with an insane guy and the guy playing the prostitute. It was... a surprising game, I'll say that much. I'd been told by people that Problem Guy only played two characters, and the other was a submissive whore, but actually seeing it really surprised me. The other character he plays is an aggressive and dominant man - always somebody sickly with poor physical stats, but maxxed out charisma.

I'd always believed that some effort to roleplay charisma would be required, but Problem Guy was very rude to everyone, spoke loudly about world domination and enslavement, and was in no uncertain terms a douche. He did though have maxed charisma skills, and whenever anyone didn't like his character he'd point to them and say "No you're doing it wrong they should LOVE my character! See! The reaction chart says they should be fanatical on sight!"

>>4584309
It later turned out that the rules for first impressions were wrong. Oh well. We never used them apart from Problem Guy. He'd also min-maxed his character terribly, but this is jointly my fault. We played a point-buy game and stat decreases count towards your disadvantage limit, but it was my first game and I'd skipped that sentence. This guy was super-sickly in order to be super-charismatic, and skill rules say that a high enough diplomacy skills grants you a +2 bonus interacting with people all the time. He had over 90 or 100 points of disadvantages in a 50 point disadvantage limit game. My fault, and boy did I pay for it later. I never wanted to be a rules lawyer, and I tried to play fast and hard with rules whenever I could to give my players a cool story to tell. Hey, it was my first time ever GMing, and I'd known Problem Guy for a while. I guess, since I'm not-so-perceptive, I really didn't catch any warning signs talking to the guy or playing in his games. Later on, Quiet Guy explained everything to me and pointed out some of the things I'd missed, and I felt pretty dumb for having missed the signs. Another guy once told me that Problem Guy wants desperately to be a charismatic statesmen IRL, but he is fundamentally uncharismatic. I don't want to sound mean, although these are unhappy memories, but the guy was right.

So, that is the player. And for all intents and purposes, his character was him. Just sickly and possessing negiotation skills.

I hope you can imagine the uncomfortably quiet shitstorm that followed when Quiet Guy confronted him.

>>4584288

Meow, are you an actual female, or a transgendered male? Normally, I wouldn't ask or care, but it would shed a very different light on your stories, depending how you answer.

>>4584315
I didn't even know Meow was transgendered.

>>4584279
>>4584273
Character name.. Saralin.

The last I will just.. skim the details on.

Toni. Toni was a girl that wanted to be a boy. Toni made a very cute boy, and worked out a lot to help have some bulk and to not have such an obviously feminine shape.

Toni made a habit of stealing female characters away from male character. Toni did this by putting on the most cheesy prince charming act ever. My dear. My darling. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. Your eyes are enchanting me, my sweet! I could DIE now and be happy for having laid eyes on you!

And then Toni runs off just as they tell 'him' to TAKE ME I'M YOURS. Toni did not bed any of these girls for the obvious reason. Toni had a vagina, and could not stick it in them.

But that did not mean Toni couldn't charm their pants off anyway.

I was a playa.

>>4584272
KK? Second K stands for Kingdoms, home of the Shadowkyss Drow and a shitton of Succubus who thought "I reach into your pants and throttle your cock like it's threatening the president's life" was seductive?

>>4583879
I've contemplated many times joining Furry MUCK.

>>4584324

The idea of some Hell-dimension inhabited by female demons that are inclined to violently throttle your cock sounds oddly compelling.

>>4584315
Please do tell me what light this sheds depending on each answer.

Then I shall tell you.

>>4584334

Long story short, if you are in fact a male, it would make the stories you tell a lot more creepier, and slightly more hilarious. Especially the story of the hacker guy who tried to hack your location.

>>4584334
Either you are a very girly guy or a girly girl! Doesn't matter to me... it's just that most guys don't go through the catgirl stage. btw I'm not the guy who posted the question

>>4584323
Oh, on Toni.

I had one rabid fan, and I singlehandedly managed to give this person a muscle girl fetish. I only found this out recently too. The muscle girl thing I mean.

They liked Toni.. a lot. It was so odd yet mysteriously compelling. The important part is that every other female character on AOL at the time was some skinny pop culture beautiful near loli bitch. Toni sort of blew this person's mind. Now they can't stand skinny bitches.

One last quirk. When asked her name, I typed her verbal response as Tony, but when referring to her in descriptive actions i used Toni.

"Me? I'm Tony," Toni said.

Just as a quick dirty example.

I knew a guy that used to troll MUCKs

I never could bring myself to do it though.

>>4584324
Yup, that's the one. I didn't see too many shadowkyss while I was there, though. I saw a lot more of the Von Carsteins. Now THERE'S some fucked up super-powered vampire, right there.

"OK, so, we're not vampires we're CARPATHIANS. Sunlight doesn't really hurt us, it just makes us uncomfortable. Also we're stronger and faster and sexier than regular vampires, and can steal people's souls (no save) and trap them forever and ever and can turn into a giant shadow dragon at will"

>>4584311
My greatest error was having this futuristic npc try to assassinate Problem Guy and not Quiet Guy's player (most GMs are so against player-player combat I thought it would be better... but I was wrong, this was a confrontation that needed to happen). It made sense in game, Quiet Guy's character was so damn likeable and pleasant and people just didn't want him to be in danger. Perhaps unconsciously, I didn't want his character to meet the same fate as Quiet Guy's other characters. One was shot after jumping in front of Problem Guy's character (that guy was made of GAR) and the other was shot in a raid after Problem Guy ordered the secret police to assault and search his horsemen's stables. You see, Quiet Guy's other character (before being shot), was a vigilant ex-cavalry officer who led a small band of elite horsemen around the country, shooting people suspected of betraying the revolution. Despite being ultra-loyalist, Problem Guy didn't trust a large independent armed group operating near the city. Before the raid, he'd also hoped to send them on a wild goose chase across the country (and out of play) like he did with another guy's character who quit due to this bullshit. Perhaps in Problem Guy's defense the ex-Secret Police chief who'd been fired and exiled for possibly being a traitor (but not killed due to lack of hard evidence) had said that the cavalrymen were meeting with a foreigner (Quiet Guy's other PC character) who hung out with a group of other foreigners once a week. Wait... huh.

Quiet Guy's PC at the time was a monster hunter who liked to have tea and biscuits with people.

>>4584375
I regret having future guy npc in, but he was only added to inject some form of excitement into the game. The plot had long been derailed into nowhere and it seemed like the PCs desperately needed. I tried to throw in some invasions and create mentor / boss figures. The invasions were a bad idea, and Problem Guy just acidly joked about the city being bombed, and the mentor figures didn't work because Problem Guy would NOT accept not being in charge. When he met a group of benevolents aliens who told him that somewhere on the planet where horrible monsters who'd virtually wiped out humanity in the past and that they needed native humans to act against them, he declared war on them. I forget why, I think he assumed that they were evil and part of the plot against him. Regardless, he was never nice to them anyway, always talking down to them or belittling them when he could. I suppose in his defense all the advisors he'd recruited from enemy nations (he was obsessed with an international staff, so he'd recruit the smartest people he could from defeated and captured enemy groups, including traitor groups from within the country).

Oh his country had 1920s era technology and was officially the shittest country on the two biggest continents. The game was meant as a 24-inspired game with horror elements, although the horror elements were essentially kicked out for good when Problem Guy got going.

These are the characters in the campaign i'm running. That is all.

>>4584347
Creepy yet hilarious is tempting..

>>4584353
>it's just that most guys don't go through the catgirl stage

They don't? Don't most guys have probably a gig of cute catgirls in frilly dresses?

Any other character I could name was a briefly lived failure. My creative process is purely trial and error. I made something quick and dirty and see if my brain takes it anywhere interesting. The only thing of note is a chubby bunnygirl catholic schoolgirl, but she crashed when her partner in crime disappeared.

Oh and Toni's tale ends happily ever after. She got knocked up something fierce. With twins. Now she is in a happy lesbian marriage. Where did her love get a penis long enough to do the deed?

Nadelle gave it to the woman for the lulz. Then said woman turned around and used it on Toni and made her her woman.

Not as planned.

Not as planned at all.

>>4584378

Okay, your story is REALLY starting to drag on, dude. Get on with it already.

>>4584027
What is the problem with someone being interested in you? You said it was a problem b4 he became all stalkerish..how so?

>>4584334
Not the guy who asked, but I'm a trap myself, and I found myself in similar situations all the freaking time, be it in MMO's or freeform RP.

Both incredibly good outlets for the dysphoria, at the time. It's like passing go and collecting your $200 without all that going around the board bullshit to worry about.

>>4584390
I meant as in they didn't roleplay them most guys who had the catgirl stage role played wolfmen in a vain attempt to stay masculine. Thus that guy you played with who was a wolfman he craved teh kittygurl

>>4584378
Anyways, my story is too long for the fucktardness it describes and it is starting to look chaotic and disorganised. There was never any HURR HURR I RAPE THE GNOME bullshit, but it was filled with little things.

For example, Problem Guy gave his character ALL the mental problems he could, and then some. Literally, he took more than his disadvantage limit would allow. I put my foot down, tired of the faggotry, and said no he couldn't and that he can not ever have more bonus points than his disadvantages allow. He added all the disadvantages on anyway, taking them for no points. He justified having 80+ points of mental disadvantages by saying "he's been through a lot and seen some weird monsters, so it makes sense that it's affected him." He used this line a lot to justify all sorts of things.

That was all well and good except he'd passed all sanity checks because of his stupidly high legendary will. He'd even brag about his willpower, saying that it's so high he has nerves of steel and isn't affected by anything. Not once in the campaign, over a year, did that character fail any kind of willpower, sanity or mental fortitude check.

>>4584390

HOLD IT!

How did your Bunny girl character give your Toni Character's woman a penis?

This is, assuming of course, that Toni was there when the penis was given to the woman?

>>4584405
worst contradiction EVER...

>>4584393
Sorry. Didn't mean it to drag on. It was just a big roleplay full of little problems I missed because it was my first time.

The biggest problem though, was the shitstorm at the end which ended up with my player sending me a bunch of arsy emails. I suppose he didn't mean them to sound like they did, but they came off as brusk and aggressive. No surprise really I suppose. The most annoying thing was he called all my female characters 'useless and butch'. I tried really hard to do voices, I did. Hey may have been referring to the peasant girl who stayed loyal to him to the end. She had to milk cows for a living, so that makes her butch right?

I don't want to upload the first email, I'd rather not read it. But I will upload some of the second if people like.

>>4584412

You missed by one, but yeah. I read the post wrong, but by the time I realized this, it was too late.

All these horror stories sort of make me appreciate the decidedly average group we have in D&D. We have a GM who's far more of a gamist than any of the players and only runs premade modules, several players often have trouble portraying their characters' personalities and just sort of fade into the background, and one PC's description consists solely of the fact that "we all think she looks really cool and badass", and that she has C-cup breasts.

But even so, it's a fun game and nowhere near the level of faggotry you usually hear about over here.

>>4584390
Most guys would rather be with the catgirl, not be the catgirl. In addition, I personally don't even have close to a gig of catgirl pictures.

>>4584390
OH!

One last one.

A human girl with only one power. She came down with a case of Pheonix Syndrome. A term a friend gave me. She cannot regenerate. If you cut her she might scar. You take off a limb? It'll stay off.

Except..

If she dies she completely restores to factory defaults. Everything healed.

She became a bounty hunter with a split personality and no combat skills. Picture related. Though she preferred bigger guns(and had no qualms about being stuck in the blast radius with her target). .

>>4584412
There was so much bullshit contradictions about that fucking character I rage to this day, a year later. Kind of why my posts have been so long-winded. There's so much.

He bullied from the start the quiet girl who was just getting into roleplays. She wanted to play a character from the wastes (primitive nomads) and I think he and his girlfriend resented her 'useless' character. They'd often get angry at people for 'not playing their character properly'.

Another guy played as Yuri Smilkov, Hero of the People's Union. Imagine Borat as Solid Snake. He had a flag of his country wrapped around under his uniform at all times, and when in the heat of battle he would go berserk and shout YURI SMILKOV and tear off his shirt, exposing the red flag underneath. Alas, his grasp of the mother tongue was not very good as he was from the northern parts of the Union where the speak a local dialect.

>>4584415
no I meant>>4584405
Because his character had "nerves of steel" Yet all the fucked up shit in his life gave him negatives? How does that work? OH I'M UNSHAKABLE why? because I have severe disorders because I was shaken by shit... WHAT

>>4584060
dude, you sound like DM quite conducive to a good, reasonable time. You are one of those 'it's a social thing first and foremost', right? Where on earth are you?

>>4584428

It kinda makes sense. In order to not be suicidal and be THAT fucked up either takes an extreme fear of death, or unshakable willpower.

>>4584406
Nadelle gave the woman a penis because of previously mentioned I TACKED ON EVIL MAD SCIENTIST JUST TO FURTHER SCREW WITH PEOPLE thing.

I remembered her and how I threatened to change people's genders and give them strange sexual organs all the time and thought it would be good for a laugh. Give the dummy a penis.

Well the dummy decides to turn the tables and go to town on Toni.

Oops.

I'm not entirely sure the best way to respond to valid concerns is rickrolling them or tossing random simlies at them. The below notes where done as a way to help you reflect on your roleplaying and gm skills, and provide player imput, so that whatever you do in the future can be improved. Gaslight had many good parts, and your skills as a GM are hardly poor. Call of Cluthu for example has allways been a highly enjoyable session, with little to no problems.

Roleplaying has to be taken seriously, not because it's a game, but because like everything else, it requires effort. Character creation takes time, and once created they are loved like all personal items. No-one wants to paint their necron army, then have it knocked on the floor and kicked by an opponent who doesn't care. When it feels like all the effort invested has been wasted, in character, and in session, people get annoyed/hurt/upset/angry, depending on the person, because of that reason.

>>4584438
However, thats not to say me and Carly are angry at you, wish to stone you to death, or never speak to you again.

We simply feel frustrated with what has happened to gaslight and our characters, and would like our feedback to be noted.

As nearly over as gaslight is, it still has a session or two left in it yet, and as I hope to do with Haven, there is allways the possibly to have a last session which averts the 'BAD END' and lets everyone finish on a good note.

The purpose of writing this and sending it to you, was that in case you didn't understand what frustrated people, or what people felt wrong, (Primarly me, but also Carly) was that you now could understand, and the final/final few epic sessions, on what on the hole has been one of my favoret roleplays every could leave everyone with happy memories, a posative outlook, and a feeling of satisfaction.

You of all people have spent time and hours invested into the world of gaslight, wouldn't you like everything to finish with everyone feeling like the last few years have been worth it?

>>4584437

Ooops?

Or. . .

Just as planned?

Some more horror stories in point format:

- Had an online organised rules-using role-playing community collapse because the guy who was in charge had a gay crush on me I wouldn't reciprocate on which caused a massive drama-schism.
- Knew a dude who used to play a female character who was 'perfect' in every way with the ability to make men fall at her feet from how gorgeous she was and abused what should have been entirely minor psychic powers into full blown super-powerful bullshit. When called on it he cried a lot.
- Had a dude get upset that my officer type character in a sci-fi setting didn't act like a proper American Armed Forces Officer (he slapped a civilian across the side of the head), and so he tried to IC kill my character over it then quit the group.
- You've all been told the stories of the nanomachines and why they make me cry.
- Every single campaign I have ever been in has had a player intentionally get themselves raped at least once.
- I attempted to run a game of Dark Heresy with some people who were interested, who then proceeded to never get off the fucking shuttle at the beginning of the fucking game.

>>4584414

Upload it.

I myself, truth be told, am not interested, however, this thread is being archived, and if someone in the far future is curious, they won't have to be blue balled by the sands of time and the mist of obscurity.

>>4584428
Halfway through the game he was schizophrenic, suffered chronic serious nightmares, heard phantom voices, was severly paranoid, had TWO forms of megalomania, had genteel delusions, believed himself to be a superman, was fanatical about the dead revolutionary leader AND delusional that only he could fulfil his 'special lost vision' which he admitted he made up as he went along...

Oh fuck I forget the rest.

And all this because one time he saw a couple of guys use psychic powers and some cages that *might* have contained a shoggoth? Not even the shoggoth, just a cage carved with elder signs. Sure there was revolution and civil war he'd lived through, but he was a paper pusher during the war. In either case, the 90% chance to pass his willpower check really should have covered it.

And I am well and truly out of stories. I could come up with some more specific tales.. but my mind is tired. Also, most of them wouldn't be as interesting.

Have a random catgirl.

To answer everyone's lingering question: I made a (now inactive) blog about my adventures as an undercover trans in school. I stopped updating after the blog filled the purpose of getting the angst out.

>>4584466
Whilst undercover adventures are awesome, angst is not.

>>4584486
UNLESS its Harry Potter angsting his head against a desk... if only he did it enough to kill himself before he even got to wizard school.. ahhh those would be the days

>>4584466
Do you have a link? It'd be an interesting read.

>>4584429
Australia. I hardly have time to run games these days though. But Uni holidays are coming up.

>>4584496
http://stringgames.blogspot.com/

The most recent ones from last year are wonky. My head got a little screwed up for a while, and TRAUMATIC LIFE EVENTS happened.

But I'm not quite so much a crazy bitch now. Don't know how I did it either. I just sorta snapped out of it.

>>4584328
i played a very sexy, drug-using vixen on furrymuck. i had a desc where i was described as "fur shifting slowly through all the colors of the rainbow". I had a few people become infatuated with that character over the years I played her, although I may not have been entirely consistent with her personality. I am very good at cybering whenI play a girl, it turns out. I think I might be one of those people who is charismatic online. or maybe i'm just popular when I'm a slut. :)

>>4584517
What part of Australia? I'm an Aussie to and I can never have enough games

>More love tales from the same character(who was named simply.. cat.. then kitty later on... SHUT UP!).
>Meow the Magnificent

I guess old habits die hard.

>>4584418
i'm a guy, and I'd rather BE the catgirl.
I'm also >>4584544 admitedly

>>4584550
sydney, northern beaches

>>4584580
Damn I'm in the ACT

>>4584334
Meow is obviously a drunken explosives expert.

>>4584594
ah well, sorry dude

No particular horror stories, but whenever I even try I always get the people who try to make it all about them, like they're the main character and the rest of us insignificant peons are just shitheads on the sidelines designed to make them look better.

Sigh.

>>4580623

>http://albruno3.tripod.com/

Is this for real, or is he just making shit up?

rolled 54 = 54

>>4584466

Seriously? If you played on AOL as much as you say, I'm surprised I never bumped into you. Fuck, I STILL RP on there from time to time, when I can find a room worth a damn.

>>4580714

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF