Bring the world to its knees with subprime mortgages!

Create a reliable financial institution.

>>4748486
>>4748495
Which to choose?

Do you have a lair?

>>4748486
>>4748495
Bring the world to its knees using a reliable financial institution that secretly forces subprime mortgages on its clients!

>>4748495
>>4748486

I love you, /tg/.

Team up with the Jews!

Start forcing people to buy real estate and timeshares.

>Drew

Hey Drew, you could always create a disease that destroys people's bodies in horrible ways,
while still leaving them alive so you can sweep in and show them how to 'control' their pain.

One word my lackadaisical lich: timeshares!

>>4748469
How'd it work out with Kiara? She gone for good, brah?

Well Drew, my suggestion is to make a build a huge amount of orphanages and stuff like that. There's no shortage of destitute, homeless kids.

Then train them in magic and subterfuge and stuff, and teach them that you are the most wise and infallible being on the face of the planet, here to shepherd mankind to a new age where there is no pain and suffering.

Maybe use your undead nature as proof that you're the embodiment of some principle of divinity or peace or something.

Drew I recommend you look into cats. Find some way to control the common house cat. Then give them some training, maybe a little armour, and set them loose on the commoners. If you kill off the vast majority of the commoners there won't be enough people to feed the masses or anyone that might pose a threat. Then use your magic to provide the people who are loyal to you with food. Basically a really huge extortion scheme using cats.

Drew, you fucking crybaby. You will never conquer the world. Besides, i thought you were Chaotic Good now?
Go frolic with your faggy new pixie friends, and leave world conquest to the real bad guys.

>>4748469
Kill all the world leaders and replace them.

Then hold a summit, burn the replacements and declare yourself ruler of the world.

Is Drew a necromancer lich or just a lich?

Now Drew, your going to hear alot of talk about using fiance to win the day, and it must be said that the coin boffins are onto a good thing. Adventurers love money though and when you have alot of it you have alot of them.

So unless you are using the souls of the fate-born to fuse together into a single 'Ghost Of Fate' (as they say) to manipulate the space between cause and effect that probability interacts with, thus creating a controllable reality as the backbone to your plan to usher in a new age of World Ownership, I would say you might want to consider you money options somewhat seriously.

Or store it in a big vault underground, throw on a few traps and that should be secure. Perhaps throw in a skeletal manticore, or an acidborn infernal direshark.

don a curly moustache and pointy hat.

Hi Drew, I'm an Ogre. If you need some minions, some of my buddies and I are totally cool giving you a hand. We have a penalty to our mental stats, so feel free not to pay us as much as we earn.

Basically, we're like Orcs but bigger, stronger and dumber. The only real downside is availability. Kep us posted if you need some help, this recession has really hurt our thuggish society, and we could really use some direction.

Thank you for your time.

>>4748469

Drop the moon on it in exactly three days.

Also optionally leave around masks that transform the wearer into different races.

Also, most importantly, steal a horse.

>>4748469
You need Kiara you douche. Who ever heard of an evil mastermind without a badass number 2?


And get the Blue one this time.

>>4748538
Everyone knows that the Templars control the world's financial institutions, the Jews just think they do.

>>4748469

Well, if you're a fan of the classics you could always find a way to destroy the world, then threaten to do so unless everyone bows down to you.

Or you could just destroy the Tower of Sigil and destroy all of existence, with you at the epicenter, and remake the nature of the universe with you as God.

One or the other.

>>4748495
>>4748486

First, you need a cool lair. For this type of endeavour I recommend a spacious office building with brown leather furniture, and a small kitchen with a cappuccino maker. Make sure your name is stenciled in gold lettering on your office door.

Always wear Armani or other suitably high style business suits. A monocle and a gold pocketwatch should complete your lichly attire.

Next you need a cool name for your business, and a bunch of skeletal minions to work the phones making cold calls to unsuspecting people who aren't intelligent enough to realize how to live within their means. Hire someone to train your employees to sound caring and helpful while at the same time they rake your customers over the coals for as many junk fees as you can manage.

Forclose on lots of homes and cause panic. When the market crashes due to your manipulation, use your stockpile of magical treasures to buy up stocks and perform hostile takeovers of key industries. Sit back and enjoy ruling from behind the shadows through the economy.

I hope this helped Drew.

Drew, before you consider any of these,
you should take the time to look into other
note worthy villains other than Skeletor, even if he is quite
manly and villainous.

>>4748597
>>4748592
That sounds just like what I need! I've been sitting on an obscene amount of gold and I've had no use for it. Only the occasional magical item creation. Ogres and traps are much safer than the padlock I've been using.

>>4748486
>>4748495
>>4748533
>>4748564
Hmm... I can see a plan forming...

>>4748575
I'm a big fan! Could I get an autograph?

>>4748597
PS, we don't have Scottish accents, but can do our best for an added fee.

>>4748592
As long as Drew keeps most of his financial products in tricky-to-liquidate holdings like mortgage derivatives and long term bonds (Liches plan long term!) he'll be safe from 90% of adventurers.

And I'm loving the orphanage idea.

Consider selling the best cookies ever.

After a while, add cyanide to said cookies

>>4748661
Silly ogre thats dwarves and scottish people

Also, do not attempt to duplicate, copy or otherwise steal the design of our robes, which are legal trademarks of the Illithid empire.

Any violation will result in some kind of head opening type action.
Also we'll sue you.

Times like this i wish i had a tablet to offer my characters assistance.

>>4748469
First off Drew, you need pauldrons.

And more skulls if you want to be evil.

What about a cow skull staff that acts as your lichly familiar?

>>4748673

Three words: Diversify, Diversify, Diversify. Make sure you're spread out enough such that you're ready to take a hit if any particular industry or bond rapidly loses value.

Make a television show and dispense action figures of yourself. The toys activate a mind control spell at a set time to recognise you as their lord and master.

>I'm looking to take over the world
>you guessed it, take over the world.

Of Course!

>>4748687
We were referring to a certain copyrighted animated feature film. Although, they say you are what you eat, and I, myself, have eaten my fair share of Dwarves. I count my blessings that the accent hasn't rubbed off on me.

also, use the majority of your funds for magical research so that you can become all powerful and have super sekrit spells that no one else does.

>>4748648
Any suggestions? I mean, Skeletor has a hood and a skull face, yet is still obscenely muscular. He can fight and cast magic- he has every angle covered! Who could beat that?

>>4748620
>>4748563
Well, honestly... this is all for her. If I show her I can do what I've always wanted and be successful, she's bound to want to come back as my number 2!

>>4748600
Dropping the moon on the planet?

What you need to do is get the blackguard back here, dammit.

>>4748701
I'd suggest an attractive (but strangely intimidating) mid-to-late-20s secretary as a familiar. Ideally one who types 100+ words per minute (when you're a high level monster you should set your expectations high) and has a Bachelors. It doesn't really matter what kind, just the degree that demonstrates she has dedication.

This better be saved over on suptg later on, is all I'm saying.

Also make sure your organization uses as much possible non replenishable fuels that are also highly pollutive. This should slowly destroy the planetary ecosystem dooming all life. And as a lich, you will live on.

Work your way into the merchant class and cause a recession. This will cause rampant unemployment and discontent. If you can keep this situation going on long enough revolution and anarchy will ensue...

>>4748688

I'm pretty sure Drew doesn't have any delicious brains inside his skull.

Mud wrestling for Paladins.
FEMALE paladins, make sure to add that.

Swear to god, you'll get SO much gold you won't know what to do with it.

All of the paladins are high-Cha anyway, so people will KILL to get something like this to watch.

Who thinks Drew needs a new bodyguard? Just until Kiara comes back maybe perhaps I dunno.

Maybe this Reaper guy? He doesn't talk much and when he does,
It's usually about one word like 'Severe' and 'Happy'.

Hi Drew, I'm an OK DM.

So hey Drew? Where do you keep your phylactery anyways? I was thinking you could put it in something tasteful, like a painting of someone you like. Like a velvet elvis!

It's all about style. We all know that you have spells to tie a man in knots with his own intestines, but you've got to be able to inform other people of that simply by looking at you.

Spiky things are a must, particularly if they're rough-looking and metal. And you can't go wrong with a skull motif; just ask Khorne. Magical items glowing with sinister auras are also helpful (people can't get enough of shiny crap).

Follow these tips, and the public reaction to you will go from "Why is there a dead guy walking around?" to "OH SHIT, A LICH! RUN!"

Alternatively you can use the money you aquire from your financial escapades to gain influence in the political world. I suggest campaigning for undead rights and justice for the life-challenged population. That or get into insurance, specifically life insurance.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordListCellblockA
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordListCellblockB
All you need is in here Drew.
All you'll ever need.

>>4748746
Sir, with regards to your blackguard:

Never forget that jealously is a tremendous motivating force. By taking an equally martially competent floozie as an aide, you show you're a desirable item. All the +4str bitches want to work for Drew.

>>4748746
I'm loving what you've done so far.

I'd suggest avoiding any kind of moon dropping actually, that sort of thing brings epic-level adventurers out of the woodwork. Additionally, it would jeopardize many of your financial holdings. In fact, it wouldn't be a bad idea, once your organization is showing strong positive cash flow, to invest in some light espionage and incentives to ensure any other evil masterminds don't execute such plots.

>>4748738
R&D is a vital part of any company's future, but it's important not to spend more than you need... we're looking at diversification, complex financial products, and market manipulation as initial growth mechanics.

>Drew
>Modern Economics

>>4748812
Why not?

One thing you need to consider is supernatural patrons and servants. The key here is to find the slightly-overlooked firms. Everyone goes to the Demon Lords or the Archfiends, and the Great Old Ones tend to be a bit lacking in the concept of contracts and bindings, and in any case arent exactly a precision tool. These groups are inundated with billions of offers every day. They don't offer good rates.

Go for the Undead Spiritual Gestalts, the Interdimensional Shadow Beings, sentient uber-spells from a previous age's Great War, or the Unknowable ancient alien races from beyond the stars. They're less-often used, they talk down to you less, and they can be more reasonable in negotiations

And once you have your patron/allies/servants, you need to figure out what to do with them. Ideally, you should be using something that will spread on its own. Like an army of Wraiths, that creates more wraiths as it goes, or a parasitic alien species. You job is to facilitate their ascendancy, let them do what they do best. Use them as bully-boys and enforcers in your quest for world domination. Advertise yourself as the guy holding the leash, make it clear that anyone who opposes you will have a legion of malevolent, talking Acid Fogs descending down on their cities.

Most vital in this sort of plot is to keep hold of the reins. keep up on the payments, dont give them an inch, and secure means of procuring what they want on an economical scale. Breed humans like cattle to satiate their desire for souls/meat/what have you, keep the lithium-mines running.

Also, you seem like a nice, reasonable guy. Don't be afraid to stay that way. Have standards. Sure, punish the minion that failed one too many times, but don't be afraid to take out the psychopath you hired because he went too far with what you wanted him to do.

Gotta have good PR, dude.

Well, here's a fun idea sure to put you on the map: Find a way to scribe a gigantic rune of madness on the moon.

Nothing says supervillainy like messing about with celestial objects, and every full moon (if not every night) all who live risk seeing the moon and going horrifically mad.
Were talking the end of civilisations here Drew, this is big endgame stuff.

A rune of death won't work as that runs out after a certain amount of HD, though a rune of pain or a rune of charm person would work incredibly well also.

If you ever end up in Krynn, try scribing a different one on each moon - I AM 95% CERTAIN THIS IS SORT OF THING IS HOW ORDINARY PEOPLE GET PROMOTED TO DIVINE STATUS.

Also, what are you currently using as a Phylactery? I know it's embarrassing to talk about these things, but if you're going down the financial shenanigans route, there's an interesting 'multiple object; feat for your phylactery that we could discuss.

>>4748833

Perhaps I chose a bad image.

This is a GOOD thing.

>>4748746

Oh, yes.

Works perfectly...in theory.
It has to happen in exactly three days, though.

Dramatic suspense and all that.

1. Be an overly nice guy and help as many people as you can.

2. Outlive them

3. Inherit their stuff.

>>4748798
>Alternatively you can use the money you aquire from your financial escapades to gain influence in the political world.

Well, really political influence is just another smart investment. If you spread around $1,000,000 in donations and favors in a close election year (and make it clear that next time it could be more) you can easily reap tens of millions in tax breaks and beneficial regulations.

>I suggest campaigning for undead rights and justice for the life-challenged population. That or get into insurance, specifically life insurance.

This shows a hint of brilliance. I'd suggest pushing for full UnDeath equality. When you think you've got it in the bag, sell insurance companies short. When people start getting mass-vampirized, their stock will tank and you'll make a killing.

Thanks a ton, guys! Things are going great. The ogres really took well to managerial positions and skeletons make very good workers. 24 hours 7 days a week and no morale problems since, well, they don't understand the concept of morale since they weren't built that way. Anyhow, they're great workers!

Real estate and money lending are going swimmingly and we've branched into many other fields. The pay-per-view "Babes of Tyr Gone Chaotic!" is raking in the gold. Only problem with so much success is the paperwork is piling up to my eye sockets!

I need a secretary and I need one bad. Anyone know one, or anyone want to apply for the position? I'm an equal opportunity employer, as you'll see by my gender equal numbers of male and female skeletons. Lawful Evil and spellcasting levels are a plus, but not required.

Only problem is, the work is piling up faster than I can handle it.

>>4748843
I'd say DESTROYING ZE VORLD is probably the worst way to enjoy immortality. One because adventurers are likely to kill you first, and two, the world is where you keep your stuff.

Oh snap Drew, did you go evil when I wasn't watching?

>>4748898
You need a gelatinous cube secretary.
Because it would be amusing.

>>4748898
I know a girl. She's good with her hands.

Once you get past the need for the extra large keyboard, the 150+ Words per minute is always a plus.

>>4748908
But that's also where all the jerks who made fun of you in middle school keep their stuff, and there's more of them then there are of you.

>>4748898

>>4748898
Well... I... Um... I'm looking for, ya know... like a job... The whole being a monster thing... It's not really working out for me.

I recommend a dooms-day device.
That always puts you in power.
And hey! Nice to have you around Drew!

>>4748898
I know a girl.

She's ... good with staplers

>>4748925
You whore, I APPLIED FIRST

>>4748746
Well, Skeletor should stay in your #1 spot, but you could
take an example from several villains, for instance,
Kefka Palazzo poisoned an entire kingdom's water supply, resulting in mass casualties.

>>4748898

Oh sure, a Rune of Charm Person on the moon isn't a bad idea though, every time someone sees the moon, they end up worshipping you for a day, this a great way to get your hands on a kingdom or two.

The hard part is getting up there and spending 20 or so years scribing the thing.
Without moon godesses noticing.

In the mean time, have you considered the following?
Take the feat that lets you split your Phylactery across numerous items, revitalize a failing democratic nations economy with an influx of coins minted by yourself, use it as a bid to run for office. The coins are in fact all parts of your giant cluster-phylactery.
Make your primary slogan "I put my soul into the economy!"
Repeat it often. Have posters and banners of it. Spread it everywhere.

The look on the a party of adventurers faces when they figure out what you've done is one of those moment villain live for.

Metaphorically speaking obviously.

Of course if someone were to cast detect evil on the coins then your plan might be found out, but who casts detect evil on money?

The answer is clear then, in order for this plan to work: You must rid the world of COMMUNIST PALADINS first.

There's only one creature in the Multiverse worthy of being your secretary, Drew.
The only one capable of coping with all the work, too.

>>4748982
>Communist Paladins

>>4748982
I'd be far more surprised if I used detect evil on money and didn't get an evil reading.

Now, when the economy inevitably spirals downward, the proles are going to be looking for someone they can scapegoat. The important thing is to not be that scapegoat. I suggest that you place an incompetent politician into power, and when things start going sour, blame everything on him.

"It's not the capitalist's fault! We provide necessary services to people who need them! It's that damn, dirty government taxing all the money out of your hands!"

>> And I'd like a more interesting costumes than the robes I've worn since college, but I don't think I can pull of something like Skeletor (you have to work hard to keep that fit!).

Well, how evil do you want to look? Are you more interested in something that will strike fear into any and all onlookers, or something more subtle and casual that you can also wear to work? Gigantic spiked pauldrons, deep hoods, and dark robes do a great job at screaming "I'm evil," but a well tailored business suit and some smexy glasses can do just as well if you've got the charisma to swing it.

Also, how much do you want to trump up the "I'm a dead guy" bit? A few skulls here and there do a good job of reinforcing the fact that you're dead, but it's easy to go overboard (a la armor made entirely of skulls) and look like some mook.

>>4748898

You know, Drew, if you are feeling adventurous, you should branch out in your hiring policies. I don't know how adept at summoning and infernal pacts you are, but the underworld is always overstocked on employees, and a contracted hiring policy for outsourced positions would help you a lot with your paperwork. My cousin is a Succubus, and she's always complaining about how the economy is going to hell, down there.

>I need a secretary and I need one bad. Anyone know one, or anyone want to apply for the position? I'm an equal opportunity employer, as you'll see by my gender equal numbers of male and female skeletons. Lawful Evil and spellcasting levels are a plus, but not required.

What about this gal, she's a pretty cold bitch if you know what I mean. Perfect secretary material.
Also magic.

>>4749010

Really? I'd have thought most coinage would come up Lawful Neutral.
Forgeries might come up Lawful Evil or Neutral Evil and Paper Money printed irresponsibly leading to economic downturns might be Chaotic Evil.

That's my take at least.

>>4748898
Drew, have you considered making pacts with large numbers of mid-level outsiders to fill secretarial positions in all branches of your company? I'm thinking Erinyes, here; attractive and significantly more intelligent than the average human, universally equipped with a substantial knowledge base, and with true seeing (obvious secretarial benefits). Better still, they won't age or ever break contract, and you can likely get their permanent loyalty by cutting them in on some of the benefits of your endgame.

>>4748960

source

>>4749020
Devils being lawful evil would make great secretaries.

There's someone you have to watch out for, Drew... do you have Protection from Law and/or Evil spells handy?

>>4749014
He needs to ride to the rescue and offer the people jobs working for his mega corp on public works' projects.

>>4748898

Drew, I know the perfect woman for the job. She got laid off her goverment job soi thought to bring her to you attencion. is good with computers, easy on the eyes and can kick massive amouts of ass. But i would recommend an title of "assistant director" or something because she comes with her own secretorial staff. And then you delegate most of off your works to her, problem solved.

>>4748898
I'd like to apply for your position as "secretary".
Though I'd REALLY like to become your head of security or some other job like that.
I have a GREAT resume, dozens of references!
Hell, I've taken over ENTIRE planets! (A thousand to be precise.)

>>4749067
I suggest a legal team with Protection from law.

>>4749053
I have no idea, sorry.

>>4749067
>>4749110

I'm sorry, but the Infernal Tax Collector is immune to all alignment-based effects. You'll have to think up some other way to protect your gold from him.

I hear that Holy Cheese will keep him at bay. [/reachingjoke]

>>4749020
A succubus doesn't sound so bad. My brother was a warlock, and if HE could handle it, I think I can. Thanks for the idea.

Man, a lich could get used to this kind of power. I have a yacht. Me, a yacht! And I have more money than I know what to do with. Honestly, I don't know what to do with it. But, for some reason, it feels good to have... and I want more.

Check out what the papers have been saying about me. And it's all thanks to you!

"...Drew's philanthropy has reached an all-time high. With over a billion gold in donations, the undead billionaire has created a line of orphanages that provide not only room and board but magical education."

"UnLife Incorporated's founder, Drew the Lich, has branched into the realm of politics. Democratic nations are already clambering to adopt new legislation aimed at closing the gulf between life and unlife, and it looks like ghouls, zombies, vampires, and skeletons will finally find equal protection under law. Following the success of the Twilight Trilogy, the youth of our home nation are organizing protests in favor of undead rights."

So much power, I love it!

Meinself needs vork. Badly. Medikul praktishuning not being vot it vonce vas.

Meinself knows html?

>>4749146
Alright, now put your plan into action. Make the orphans your mind-slaves and command the undead to turn on the living once they're fully integrated into society. There's no way you can fail!

>>4748898

Pick me ! I'm great at organizing military efforts and keeping track of inventory.

>>4749146
That sounds great Drew, nice job on getting everything!
I mean, the only silver lining in the cloud is that Twilight helped you.
But, hey, its your idea, right?

Though, have you ever worried about someone trying to betray you? Backstabbing and intrigue are the hallmarks in a massive mega-corporation. And I know some GREAT secret-police services.

>>4749146

So where does the apocalyptic destruction come in?

At the very least you could terrify a few people.

That's always evil.

>>4749146

Oh shit, get your towels ready. It's about to go down!
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck, but stay on your motherfucking toes!

>>4749146

This is bad. Very bad. There is nothing more fickle than public opinion. The higher you get, the more people will want to see you fall. There's just something about the average consumer that loves the suffering of those it once adored. I hope you have a backup plan for when some rabble-rousing socialist starts accusing you of corruption.

>>4749147
Halts Maul.

>>4749146
It sounds like everything's going quite well for you, Drew! At this point, almost everything is ready to move forward, but don't get too hasty. Now that you have immense resources at your disposal and public goodwill, take advantage of them to create several fallback plans, secret lairs, and caches of resources in case your current main scheme doesn't go as well as you anticipate. Remember, a good villain can always bounce back! Plan for failure even as you aim for success.

>>4749209

Nein joo.

>>4749233

Verpisse dich.

>>4749233
>>4749238
cut that out

>>4748982
It's high time to make some decisions for my future.

It's time to put behind childish things...

>>4749218
>>4749194
>>4749179
>>4749161
I can almost act. My underlings are loyal. The skeletons can only follow my orders, the devils working for me are bound by infernal contract, and the ogres are kept loyal with large amounts of meat and gold.

Whatever I do next can't be traced back to me, but must place me in power. What to do, what to do...

>>4749285
Now you make a fantastical candy factory. Invite peasant children for tours, where they disappear one by one in a series of tragic, yet whimsical events.

Hmm, Drew, you need to consider... well, the thing is, it's not that it can't be traced back to you... that's a given, all plans can be traced.
What you need is a plan that is so Blatant and terrifying that although it can be traced, noone would really want to follow up on it.

>>4749285

Run for elected leadership in the country you were originally born in.

>>4749285

Phn'glui mglw'nafh Chthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn!!

>>4749285

Steal forty cakes?

M-mr. Drew? You could round up all the cutebolds and the elven women and make them rub the cutebold's noses. They fucking hate that...

>>4749341
it's a good idea. Start lower down in the government to get the feel for it. It's not like you dont have time to let plans unfold, you're a Lich for crying out loud.

>>4749285

Perfect three-day contingency plan.

Do it.

>>4749341

This is a good idea. Do this.

>>4749370

And the undead have full rights now in modern society, and the backing of most progressive political movements and parties. Who's going to stop you from tasting the political pie?

Bigots?

>>4749285
Get a mask.

With ancient powers.

>>4749385
Ok, enough with the masks.

>>4749285
Run to become a world leader!
Nobody EVER suspects the politicians of taking over the world.
And nobody would EVER suspect a lich to take over the world!

>>4749380

Most undead like zombies and skeletons don't actually have free will, but you've given them the right to vote.

It's a landslide election.

>>4749367

Got just the one. Comes with dakka, lots of it....

>>4749285
Unite the world under a banner of peace and equal rites for all sentient creatures. Abolish class and declare that all decisions shall be made democratically. Use the good times and happy feelings brough around by the eventual slaughter of the nobility to point out that all strife is caused by greed for money or power and that the greatest way to fufil that greed is war. Therefore all nations must disarm the world will be protected by an elite unit of mages.

>>4749367

That's just terrible.

>>4749397
I've got it. Create a world leadership council with people from all over the world. Drew runs for head of this counsel making him the leader of the world.

>>4749285
Hire me as your spokesgnome!

>>4749410

Jah. Und also being as many as four tens.

>>4748960

Sorry to sidetrack, but does anyone know where this comes from?

>>4749409
Then find out your blind paraplegic sister doesn't like you.

>>4749430
Ask /a/

>>4749412

That sounds like an excellent idea! If you would like, Mr. Drew, I could spearhead such an effort through the U.N.

You would, of course, make all the final decisions behind the scenes, but as I am already a well-known and respected politician working with the U.N. and in my native Middle Eastern country, and my outspoken stances on the nature of free information and transparency, it would seem like something brought about in the sudden fervor inspired by you, rather than something actively pursued by you.

>>4749285
Drew, no coins would keep your soul as safe as He-Man! Don't let your new power and corporate success change your values.

A DECADE PASSES.

Much of the population of Drew's home kingdom of Feldspar have converted to undeath, vampiric or otherwise. Harnessing the popular support of all undead, most of the youth, and a city constituted of entirely dwarves, the lich has secured the position of Dictator for Unlife.

Despite the protest of a neighboring nation that asserts that Drew had assaulted it with flying sea creatures in the past, his power sweeps the globe. To prevent international tension a central diplomatic body is formed with Drew its head chairman. The initial reaction of the world's population is to cower in preparation for a doomsday, but one never comes... soon, the people are in support of Drew's effort to spread aid to all in need.

>>4749285
Drew, consider that you are already incredibly powerful. I would recommend that you ask yourself what you wish to be able to do that you currently cannot; as the sole controller of a large corporation, I daresay that very little is likely to actually be out of your reach. Perhaps you don't need to 'take over the world' because it is already yours.

>>4749530
OH WOW, THE PLOT FOR THE NEW TERMINATOR MOVIE!

So at this point, Drew is actually in control of the entire planet. It kind of makes plots for world domination redundant.

>>4749556
He is the T-awesome.

>>4749561

He influences the whole planet; know the difference.

>>4749530
Well shit
Looks like Drew won, not exactly a bloodbath
but i for one accept our new caring undead overlords

Turn undead (3)

>>4749576
Influence and control are mere gradients on the color palette of the universe. NOW GET BACK TO SCRUBBING THE LIBRARY FLOORS!

>>4749530
-sniff- Our little Drew is all grown up now...

>>4749530
NOW DREW! PLANT THE IDEA OF DEMOCRACY AMONG THE COMMON FOLK! LET THEM REBEL UPON THEIR MASTERS
the world will be left full of tribes and bands, easily controlled

>>4749285
start offering third-party sponsoring system for adventurers.
y'know, give'em money, then ask for payback with little fees, and then promote them a "plus" service for dedicated customers, wich promotes more money, and more accessible (read: rape the willing) paying methods. the most prominent adventurers will become knee-deep into shit at the right time, if you know what i mean.
"it seems like you ran out of cheap tricks, foul creature!"
"orly? because i still have... *puts out some kind of scroll* THIS!"
"hah! you're slippering bad, fiend, to the extend of putting your wretched faith into... no, NO! it cannot be true!!"
"oh, yes, YES IT CAN! are you familiar with this little buddy, aren't you? this is the contract you signed to recieve sponsoring for your world's end campign!"
"no... this cannot be happening!"
"i am your benefactor, you fool! deal another mighty blow, and you will end dealing mighty blows all night long behind the "blood gulch" pub for the rest of your life... and maybe more, if you know what i mean, hehehe...."
(btw, sorry for the bad english, it's not my main laungage)

>>4749530
I'm sure I speak for us all, Drew.

We're so proud of you.

>>4749530
This is endgame, Drew. You've won. Now, you have but to carefully nurture the growth of your power until you are all but impossible to bring down. Encourage the growth of movements of personal loyalty to you. Get an entire battery of propaganda people, and institute universal education which includes a version of history noting all your positive exploits as a mandatory part of the education. Implement daily loyalty oaths in the schools, and see that your PR people glorify service in the forces which execute your will.

Build international support with the eventual goal of having one nation after another declare you their undisputed leader. See that each sector of the world in turn is brought into the delicate grip of your bony fist while never being the wiser.

Establish endless contingency plans. Using those whose loyalty is utterly certain-simulacra, golems, or other constructs you have built yourself equipped with independent thought but no independent will are ideal for this- create strike forces capable of teleporting in and eliminating your enemies anywhere on the globe. Cabals of diviners should be working constantly to determine any threats which will be emerging to your rule in the murky future. Siphon funding into the creation of the very best in magical equipment, and use it to ensure that yourself and your minions utterly outclass anyone who could ever oppose you- and that you have numerous comfortable and completely secret lairs hidden in every corner of the plane (and a few others, for salt).

FIND Kiara
MOCK HER!

Drew, you should start your own private military company. With your expertise, you could soon turn your PMC into such a power as to directly influence or even control war itself. With such power...war will change.

>>4749679
NOW DREW! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

Secretary: "Mr. Drew? Is everything all right? You haven't come out of your office for a week."

Drew: "I'm fine, thank you. It's not like I need sleep or food."

>>4749704

"No, I have plenty of time to think. So much time to think."

>>4749679
>>4749698

Uh, guys, considering how long it took for all of this to take place..

um...

I'm pretty sure Kiara died. Quite a few centuries back.

>>4749648
Well, the thing is...

You've never won absolutely. Any organization that can be created can be destroyed. :(

But there is a solution: INTERPLANER FRANCHISING.

>So, you're a high-teens CR overlord with an eye on higher goals than a lonesome mountain and a division of orcs?
>Learn from the best: see what DREW can do for YOU!

>>4749711
>Pretty sure Kiara died and became an Erinyes at some point
Fixed.

>>4749709
>>4749704
... slightly creepy there Drew.

>>4749739

Except it's only been a decade.

>>4749709

Secretary: "Sorry sir, I was just here to tell you that someone named 'Kiara' is here to see you. It seems she matches your description."

>>4749745

She is a blackguard adventurer.

There is a high probability of death between weeks. How many of YOUR PCs made it through a decade of adventuring?

How many of the EVIL ones?

>>4749711
Its only been 10 years
Now mock the Fat bitch

>>4749747
...why have your eyes gone blank Drew.

>>4749747
oh shii

>>4749747

OH NOES

>>4749747

Drew: "Kiara?!"

Kiara: "You look pretty good in a suit, Drew. It looks like you actually held onto a victory for once.

It's funny, you're all but the ruler of this mortal world..."

>>4749800
IN BEFORE SHE'S A PALADIN!

>>4749800

BRACE FOR IMPACT DREW

>>4749800

KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! KIARA! RUFIO! RUFIO! RUFIO!

>>4749818
But Drew isn't EVIL?!!?!?

Drew has his Phylactery with him! THIS IS BAD!

>>4749841
oh shii NO DREW NO!

>>4749800

She's either Old, or a Paladin. Drew, get ready.

>>4749857
She'll be what, 30 or 40?

That's not terribly old.

>>4749863

MILF

>>4749841
NO DREW!
WE WILL NOT LET YOU OFF YOURSELF

Archive this shit.

CAST WAIL OF THE BANSHEE

>>4749599

Not while Drew is on.

>>4749841

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>4749884
No, idiot. It means if someone kills him and destroys the phylactery, he'll die and be condemned to Mount Celestia for all eternity for his innumerable good deeds.
It would be awful.

>>4749800

"And I, sent by Bane to claim your empire. Which do you think has more power, Drew? A god, or a man?"

>>4749916
FUCK YES.

>>4749916
I'm sorry, Drew, but there's no other choice.

You've got to kill her, before it's too late.

>>4749916

OH HOLY FUCK

>>4749841
NOOOOO DREW NOOO!!

also F5'n like the fist of the North star

>>4749916

Bitch.

>>4749916
in4 b4 Drew goes
Keikaku Doori

>>4749916

I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A BANE IS BUT IT WORRIES ME

>>4749916
FINAL BATTLE

HELL VS. HELL

>>4749916
Best of luck, Drew. If you want advice, hit the teleport button and then send in your enforcers... but that just isn't your style.

>>4749916
"Heh, of all the people..."
*Armor-On*
"Well hun, let's go!"

DREW VS. BANE. HEAVEN OR HELL, LET'S ROCK!

>>4749916
YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY HERE WOMAN!
GUARDSMEN TO MEEEEE!!!!

>>4749939
Drew's in deep shit.

>>4749916

Drew: "That's all you have to say?! It's been over 10 years! I've been waiting all this time for you to come back. You really think I know what I'm doing? I don't even know why I'm doing it! I just knew it would get your attention, I never thought this'd be how."

Kiara: "That was then, this is now, Drew. Bane is quite fond of what you've done here, maybe you should take him as your patron god. You don't have to stop here!"

A god is only as powerful as it's followers!

Quickly Drew! Use your influence over the media to denounce the worship of Bane!

>>4749916
Man I would hit that pussy so hard.

Then I would make sweet, sweet love to Kiara.

>>4749965

What to do is obvious. Drew is going to beat Kiara and redeem her ass.

Drew, quick question, what are you going to do once you own the world? Cause i mean, that kind of position would be pretty much 24/7 dealing with an endless flow of mundane logistics work and responsibility without any of the fun or glamour of the rise to the top.

Instead of doing cool stuff like razing towns, you'd have to be balancing crop yields and food distributions, making sure your underling rivals aren't killing each other, etc etc.

Either way, it doesn't matter. Drew is no mere man.

He is a cosmic force of the universe and POLITICO-ECONOMICS.

How can a god stand against an eternal constant?

>>4749965
NO! DREW DON'T FALL FOR HER TRAP SHE'S USING YOU!
fling that orb of annilation you've been saving at her and GTFO.

>>4749965
NO, DREW

DON'T LISTEN TO HER

YOU'D NEVER BE HAPPY BEING A PUPPET RULER, WITH AN EVIL, PSYCHOTIC GOD CONTROLLING YOUR EVERY MOVE! FIGHT HER AND FIGHT HIM!

>>4749965
Challenge Bane, kill him, take Kiara back. Simple.

DEFY KIARA AND DEFY BANE. Become God of Politics, in whose name lies will be told and promises will be broken again and again for all eternity. What could be more evil than that?

Oh shoot, Drew. You're in trouble if you don't teleport before she snags you with a dimensional anchor, or something.
I'm sure she's important to you, but you've got the combined power of nations at your disposal.
You might not want to listen to this, but if you know what's good for yourself, you should get the heck out of there and make a public statement about an attempted assassination by a representative of Bane.

If you want to maintain your bony, iron fisted rule, you've got to make the tough choices.

Fuck autosage.

I HAVE THE ANSWER.
Work into an orgy with the both of them and NEVER STOP.

>>4749939
Ridiculously evil god in DND.

FUCK BANE!!
DOES BANE RULE THE WHOLE FUCKING EARTH!!
FUCK NO!!
YOU ARE LICH! KING OF THE WORLD!
anyway, reform her and dispence hot....err cold dickings

>>4749965

Drew: "Who gives two shits about some celestial wanker--"

Kiara: "I'd stop while you're not so far behind, if I were you. Surely you're Lawful Evil after your conquest? Bane could help you take even the planes!"

>>4749995
THIS.

Tell her to fuck off. It's time you did something for yourself. For those who actually care about you. The skeletons. The secretary. The ogres.

Call security and tell her to not let the +5 Vorpal Doors hit her on the ass on her way out. You'll run this world and not her, Bane, or anyone can tell you different.

Then plan an office picknic.

f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5

>>4750024
>Surely you're Lawful Evil after your conquest

Um....about that actually...

Challenge Bane to a game of Politcal Risk

The objective is world domination BUT the vast majority of those under your rule must be generally pleased with their leader, living contently, and must have a just society.

Defy bane and redeem her ass

LIKE A BOSS

>>4750024
.....you did not just threaten The King of The World.
No offense Drew, but you can't let her Push you around Just zap her. Don't even kill her just zap her to a wall and give her a long talking to

>>4750024
What is this missionary bullshit, Kiara? Put the sword pamplet down and go get into bed. Drew will attend to you later.

>>4750032

This man has his head on right. Who conquered the world? Bane? The coward conquered nothing, and know he thinks that he can boss you around. You have achieved more then the Gods themselves. You have united the world in a semi-benevolent dictatorial necrocracy. Why should you listen to some two-bit, has-been washed up god?

Answer: Fuck Bane. Fuck Kiara.

oi!drawfag, autosage has set in so might wanna make a new thread

>>4750024

Teleport out of the way, then call security. Tell her it's been nice, and to keep in touch, but that Bane can go fuck himself.

Stage a Press Conference stating that Bane has sent followers to kill you. Have all followers of this 'lingering being from the past' be hunted down, except for Kiara. Show her just what you can really do, and ask her to come back.

Problem solved. Sure, it'll take a while, but if you can keep Kiara in a Cryo-Sleep like state, all will be fine.

>>4750070

You have one out of two right.

>>4750024

Actually, Drew did GOOD deeds using the LAW.

LAWFUL GOOD.

>>4750024

Kiara: "Let's hear it, Drew. What'd you do all of this for? Just to lure me back?"

Drew: "..."

Kiara: "That's pathetic. You haven't changed an ounce. I know what I want, and I got it. I want power and I want to serve a powerful master. But what about you? Has becoming a lich been for nothing? I can give you a purpose."

>>4750024
Well said, Drew. No one in their right mind gives two shits about any of those celestial wankers. Not when there are so many important things here on your own plane.

>>4750092

Oh shit.

>>4750092

DON'T DO IT DREW!

also I advise making a new thread.

>>4750092
She's the pathetic one. Look at what you have accomplished! What has she done except become the thug of some poncy divinity?

>>4750092
DREW! REMEMBER THIS? NEVER FORGET YOUR BEGINNINGS, DREW!

KIARA IS HERE, (ARGUABLY) AN ADVENTURER, TRYING TO KILL YOU! YOU ARE A BAD GUY!

WHAT DO BAD GUYS DO WITH ADVENTURERS, DREW?! THINK!

>>4750123
(ADDENDUM) THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE, DREW! KILL HER!

No Drew, This is the right path,

screw subprime mortgages there is a whole world of religious icongraphy and Goddamn awaits you. You fracture your overlordship and start over again, this time creating a cult and evil temple to attract adventurer's get some dead adventurer's to bind their souls into turning you into a DEMILICH, and then take your shot at godhood.

Oh yeah, and before you go start a water treatment department to ensure that the entire world's watersource is fluorinated, so that everyone had good teeth.

And if things go tits up, you can always increase the fluorination and kill everyone.

Common, you got the time

Also get rid of the Kiara bitch, you dont get those Blackguard levels for being chaste you know.

>>4750092

Don't listen to her, bone-dude.

Do you think Skeletor would bow before Bane? Hells no.
You've done more than Skeletor, and more than Bane. You don't deserve to be talked down to by her. It doesn't matter why you did it, it only matters in your mind. The important thing is that you -did-, and she's trying to take that away from you with her serpentine tongue.

>>4750092
No Drew! THATS IT
YOU TELL THIS BITCH OFF
IF YOU GET INTERUPTED, SMACK THE BITCH
i mean my god the XP for social Encounters must have you in the epic levels

also Drawfag, autosage has set in so it'd be a good idea to make a new thread

>>4750123
...lawful hot biophilia?

>>4750109
Good idea, it's in auto-sage. Though I do hate to take up more space.

NEW THREAD HERE:
>>4750158
>>4750158
>>4750158

The time to archive is now, fa/tg/uys and ca/tg/irls!

Here. http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

>>4750247
Stop that. It's already been archived on suptg.

>>4750482
My bad, I was just looking at the regular 4chan archive.

Well, you could always create a device that makes everyone hear a little voice in their heads that goes "Na na na na na na na na na na na".

This would cause everyone in the world to go insane, and become desperate for a cure. You could then have the cure ready and available to them, if they plead loyalty to your cause. Make sure it's not a one time cure. People will be desperate to serve you if the drug was one that wore off after a time.

Think of it as a gentleman's heroin.