Go scope out the exit and find out where you're gonna be when you leave the cave.

>>4773107
Seconded.

> "Yes sir!" Presley sets to work on getting to that spider to tame it, making himself a shadow staircase.

This won't end well ...

>>4773107
>>4773116
One harrowing climb later...

...Is that sunlight? I do believe you see sunlight.

>>4773160
Sonsun! <3

>>4773160
how's Presley doin?

Climb out and wave hello to Sunson.

>>4773160
Don't you mean...
SONlight?

>>4773173
>>4773182
>>4773184
You thank Sunson for his contribution to society.

>>4773227

Did he erase ther axehead?

>>4773234
...Well fuck, it looks like he did.

>>4773227
Aww, shame we can't hug him, cuz, y'know, he'd melt the earth on accident.

Call over your shoulder "Hey Presley! Finish up in there an' git out here. We got some climin' to do!"
"Presley?"

OH NO.

PRESLEY!

YOU OBEDIENT FOOL!

>>4773256
>"Hey Presley! Finish up in there an' git out here. We got some climin' to do!"
There is no answer.

>"Presley?"
You decide to go back and look.

>>4773252
*grumble* .. "half assed figgin' majickal ... " .. *grumble*

"Hey Presley!"

>>4773298

Now that we know how to get out, head back into the cavern and flood Buzzardloved. Then climb back out and take the scenic route back to the entrance, by which point the flood will have finished cleansing our kingdom of the stench of treachery.

Also, use spider-leg to replace shadow leg that disappeared when sunlight hit it.

Long-term goals: get ALE and LOYAL SURVIVORS from BUZZARDLOVED, go to WINDMILL to have CULTIST HEAL our MUTATIONS at DISCOUNT PRICES, then head to ERIDIA to KILL HERACLES and USURP GODHOOD, then ACQUIRE MINIONS from that WRETCHED HIVE of SCUM and VILLAINY.

"Its a girl spider! She was just protecting her eggs. We had a talk, and she'll come with us as long as we feed her and keep her eggs safe somehow."

>>4773386
>Silently chuckle as shadow leg vanishes from Sonsun

>>4773386
W.. we mutilated a mama spider..?

B.. Beardbeard! You monster!

>>4773386
Sure.

Set some dorfs guarding them. Severe punishment for anyone harming any eggs.

*blink*
"Well. It's. Hey. Um."
"We. Uh."
...
"How many eggs?"

( Gentlemen, behold! We have our army! )

>>4773386

Hey, our leg didn't vanish in the sunlight!

So, we should find her eggs, then place them in the tiny homecaveplace we woke up in. Also:

>Female
>Appaerently sentient
>mount

O LAWDY

>>4773386

We shall raise these baby spiders in our own image!

>>4773386

Fuck, those eyes look like freckles, and freckles are FUCKING SEXY!

>>4773407
Ours is going to disappear too you know. So I think we'd better fashion a replacement quick.

>>4773419
So, take the spider along with us to see Cultist and have her fix it up. When we find out about the pregnancy, have our new Giant Spider companion agree to leave behind a baby spider or two to keep Lily and the upcoming baby company.

But first, vengeance by flooding Buzzardloved. And then drinking all of the ale that survives.

>>4773451
* wait *
We can do better than just feed & protect her. We can feed her BABIES!
Buzzardloved is now her future meat locker.
( Gentlemen, behold! Our future army! )

>>4773451
>>4773476
So, yah. Let her tag along & off to cultist we go?

>>4773476

Well, only the traitors. But we still have to flood the place first. The heaviness of the sin of betrayal will undoubtedly cause those who overthrew us to sink into the depths, while the light hearts and minds of our supporters will allow them to float on the surface of the cleansing waters.

And then we feed the corpses to the spiders. If they can't eat all of the corpses now, then we use a few casks of ale to preserve the leftovers for later.

Then, to Cultist!

>>4773476

Yeh, the Dwarfs weren't making very good underlings anyway. And I kinda like the sounds of 'King Beardbeard Godslayer Mutated Spider Lord of Everything'

>>4773438
>Find her eggs
Her eggs are right here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4771721/#4772566

>>4773423
>...How many eggs?
"Oh, around three hundred or so. They should be hatching sometime soon. Hopefully within the month!" Her voice is extremely soft, barely above a whisper. If anything remotely noisy were happening nearby, it'd be impossible to make out her words.

>We can do better than just feed & protect her. We can feed her BABIES!
"Oh I very much like that idea. That would be splendid."

Sounds like we got a plan there Mr Gnome/dm/gm!

>>4773534
"About the leg .. I .. er .. Ssss . .er .. yah. You know."
"SssSsSS .. SO!"
( to Presley )
"She said she'd come with us. The eggs come too?"

So what was she trying to say before we relieved her of her appendage?

>>4773534

Fashion her severed leg into a megaphone-type thing, then give it back to her and tell her what it's for.

>>4773605
*LOL*

>take the spider along with us to see Cultist and have her fix it up.
You set out to do this. At the bottom of the mountain, however, you run into some familiar kobold faces. Driblis explains that without you around, the Dorfs kicked them out of Buzzardloved. Since their old village had been reduced to rubble by you, they were wondering if you could find them a new home or something.

>>4773629
SURE! WHY NOT.

>>4773605
That's as good an apology as any from BB

>>4773629

FUCK YES! Things are looking up for Beard.

>>4773629
Find them a new home: Buzzardloved.

>>4773629

Buzzard loved IS their home, we WILL get it back. Dwarfs or no dwarfs.

How do they like caves?

>>4773629

Double Genral! Thwy DARED to kick him out!? THEY WILL PAY

>>4773629
Tell them our plan to kill all traitors of Buzzardloved and feed them to our spider and her children.

*daym* .. our ( potential ) army is expanding. Let them have that cave. They'll be in the neighborhood when we get back.

>>4773629
You kobolds can live in Buzzardloved again once I kill all the other dorfs for betraying me.

get kobolds to guard spider cave/eggs

Is our plan to seize Heracles godhood before or after we invade Buzzardloved?

>>4773688
That's probably a good idea - if she's ok with it.

>>4773688
>>4773707
In other words, leave them back at the cave while we go find some help for these mutations & get some ale. And some food for Mrs GCS.

>>4773671
>>4773688
>>4773707
>Tell them our plan to kill all traitors of Buzzardloved and feed them to our spider and her children.
"So... you need a guard for those eggs, right? We'll gladly protect them from harm, if it gives us a home with a river in it!"

>>4773700
Revenge first!

>>4773629
B-but he cant get kicked out.
He is the admin of the server.
QUICKLY /vk the dorfs

>>4773721
Make sure you warn them the eggs are supposed to hatch within the month, and ask our awesome spider if there's anything special they should do in case of hatching.

Other than that just tell them to be ready to invade Buzzardloved whenever you return.

Mount spider.
Make terrible mutated dorfiders.

CONQUER THE WORLD WITH OUR HELLSPAWN.

>>4773747
That's the spirit mah man!

Kobold GCS riders. Daym'd if things ain't looking up!

>>4773721
>a river
I see where your going with this. TO THE SWAMP!

>>4773700
Well, if we aren't flooding the place out, then we may as well usurp Heracles before returning home.

We could also make fucking well sure that Garrelf knows where Buzzardloved is via informative posters and neglect to mention that we've been deposed, letting him do the dirty work. But a more hands-on approach will be more fun I think.

Make sure to take a spider egg or two along so that we can give baby spiders to Lily as a pet when we get to the windmill, though. Assure the spider (maybe we should ask what her name is?) that those babies will be taken care of very well.

>>4773579
She was trying to say "Stay away from my children." She said the same to Drillboy before devouring him.

Also, at all: The problem with the flooding plan is that this underground river is about 2 feet deep at its deepest point.

>>4773747
Lolth whispers "They will be very hungry when they wake up. Make sure you have a LOT of food ready for them! Anything living will do, but it doesn't need to be alive when they wake up."

Driblis promises he will have food and warriors at the ready at all times, before heading on to the climb up.

>>4773791
Then when we return home, revenge on Musclebeard and we have DOUBLE GODLINESS.

>>4773793
As long as Lolth is okay with the kobolds, set out to the windmill!

>>4773793
No biggie. We'll think of something creative to with the brook & drowndination stuffs when we get back. Or we'll just sick our army engineer on it.
Now first. Uh .. were are we going again?

>>4773802
actually, if we manage to kill Musclebeard, we can take his position as God of Dorfs. We couldn't take Glitterfags position because we weren't Fae, but we can totally become the warrior god of Dorfs.

>>4773833
Yah. There's a method to our method. Trust us.

>>4773833
I think becoming the God of all things Dorfy would be a fitting conclusion for Beardbeard.

Or at least it would be, if it didn't seem like the Pantheon here was constantly getting thrown into upheaval by the actions of random mortals.

Come alone Presley & Mamaselle L. We gotta gits you fed. Legs don't just grow back on their own you know.

>>4773820
TO THE WINDMILL!

....Well something must have happened here while you were gone. Last you recall it was flying. And the door was still attached. And it looked like people lived here.

>>4773833
We'll have to undo Xom's mutations though. The god of the Dorfs must be a shining paragon of Dorfenkind.

>>4773802

Sounds good to me. And we can recruit more minions in Eridia.

Also, as long as we're heading by the windmill, and now that we've found out that Garrelf is somehow fucking over the world, mention that to the Goldmoon Slayers. They could use a purpose that doesn't even remotely involve killing us.

>>4773825

Windmill, to be healed by Cultist. Yes, I know that she can't undo mutations, but I've figured out a SECRET and CUNNING plan to get around that little limitation.

Also, everyone should feel ashamed that they failed to make any Cave Story references back on Aldwinside when the windmill was floating in midair.

>>4773848
Then again, I suppose the djinn probably doesn't really count as a mortal.

>>4773854
Investigate inside.
Maybe they left a note.

>>4773856
If we have divine power I'm pretty sure we could undo them ourself.

>>4773856
I don't think Xom would like that.

>>4773901
He didn't seem to care when he undid Goldmoon's mutations.

>>4773875

Sounds like a good idea.

Is there any other way we have to track them?

Also, we can always look underneath the windmill to see if there was anything there. That vampire chick couldn't have come from nowhere.

>>4773875
It looks like they just packed up and left. Alternatively robbed, seeing as how everything is destroyed.

>>4773938
we need a new shield. take the door from the stove.

If we can't get ourselves a little less unfubared maybe we should grab a few more allies. Who else could we visit?
And remember we have, like, a 30 day time constraint

>>4773979
Stoveshield acquired!

Now if we could just get a new axefoot, and a more permanent blade for our spiderclaw, we'd be back in business.

*wait*
Did they leave anything? Ale perchance?
All this other stuff is high priority but WE NEED BOOZE

>>4774008
Do we know if there are any priests of Xom in Eridia?

>>4774008
Do we have feeling in our shadow arm?

>>4773938

Well, this kind of sucks. Do we know about Aldwin's job on Dorfside? Because we do kind of need Cultist's help for this one. Not only is she the only priest(ess) of Xom we know who won't charge us like the Running of the fucking Bulls, but she's also the only one crazy enough to do what we'd be asking. Maybe.

But we may as well pick the place over for loot before we go to find our designated healbitch. Also, do we have any residual TRAPSENSE from our brief sojourn in thiefdom all those sessions ago? Just want to make sure there's nothing hidden or under the windmill, that's all.

>>4774009
WAIT.

Your Dorf senses tingle.

AHA! VINTAGE WINE, HIDDEN UNDER THE BED! Its not Ale, but it will have to do.

Alcoholism: Sated.

>>4774048

And we may as well carve a message in the floor or something:

"WENT TO ERIDIA. ASK FOR US AT TEMPLE OF HERACLES. HAVE A REQUEST FOR YOU, WILL GIVE LILY PRESENT- BB"

Then Presley puts in something to make this seem nonthreatening in his own handwriting. Maybe a scrawled picture of the current party?

>>4774076
This would be a good idea, but first can we make a guess about how long the windmill's been abandoned?

>>4774029
No, you don't. Its basically a big tough glove.

>>4774023
Eridia has temples to Poseidon, Nemelex, Pelor, Yog, and Ra.

>>4774076
Presley decides to handle the message problem.

>>4774095
Sometime recently, since you were last here about 9 days ago.

>>4774145

OOC: Wait, didn't Kav become a worshipper of Heracles there? How'd she do that if there's no temple to him?

>>4774145
New recipie: AXENAXEALESHADOW

Ingredients:
1 shadow axe arm
1 block of metal
1 way to melt metal
1 ale

MELT THE METAL
SHOVE ARM IN METAL.
USE ALE TO COOL IT DOWN (or light it on fire. Whatever. Same thing)

REINFORCED METAL FIRE SHADOW AXEARM OF JESUS FUCK.

>>4774168
The shadows are destroyed by fire though!

Well, I guess Beardbeard doesn't know this, but he shouldn't be lighting his arm on fire until our current medical problems are resolved.

>>4774145
OOC: They're on their honeymoon, aren't they.

IC: Now we just need to head to Eridia, I guess. Although maybe we can send Presley to go ask the Slayers where everybody went. On the other hand, given that Nevada did say they'd reconsider the contract, we could try going ourselves. Get some points for being, well, as close to polite as BB gets.

>>4774188
Cover the fire! It's completely possible to melt something while covering fire.

Just to let everyone know in case there isn't a chance later: my secret plan to fix the mutations is to actually add more.

As in, have Cultist (or whoever else we get) just keep on mutating us until she mutates away all of the negative mutations that are screwing us.

>>4774160
AHA, because the 1d4chan article I just referenced is clearly missing that particular temple in its list. OOPS. Come to think of it, its also missing the one to Fate that Mah-Mee runs. Huh. How careless of me.

>>4774168
BRILLIANT. Beardbeard decides he must find a way to melt metal and make this happen.

>>4774168

SEE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LUBRICATE THE BRAIN WITH BOOZE.

>>4774219
Could Fate help us out?
We're not followers, but he did aid us in our last episode of godslaying shenanigans.

>>4774168
Actually, there's a way to make this trick work that won't involve just melting our arms right off: soak the arm in water (or knowing BB, more ale) first, then plunge it into the metal. The layer of liquid/vapor that results will prevent the arm from being horribly burned while we coat the shadowaxe in metal.

And we do have to get Lolth some sort of megaphone, so we can hear her.

>>4774243

Claim that we need the power of the other gods to deal with Sata-ta-tan; given the way Fate's shitting bricks over that one, he just might go for it.

>>4774243

Lessee, the first thing you'll need is some metal you can melt to make the new axe-arm. Since all of your gold was in Buzzardloved, its safe to say you can't just buy some.

You also need a new leg, which you also can not afford.

And some healing, too , which will either take a lot of time, finding Cultist, or more spending of money you don't have. You might find Cultist by waiting at Heracle's temple because of your note, but at this point it would be just as viable to wait here at the windmill for her.

Oh and you will need to get Lolth some food eventually, somewhere in there. My my things are complicated around here.

>>4774320

Actually, isn't a lot of that gold in our inventory? I mean, we had to leave a decent chunk of the draconic horde there to begin with, and I'm pretty sure that that 20,000 gold is what we've been keeping on hand as beer money.

>>4774348
We left our money at Buzzardloved when we went to hunt down Demonsun. We haven't had a chance to retrieve it since then.

So the question is this: wait for Cultist, seek out Cultist more directly, or go kill Heracles and then chill there and wait.

When we do smack down Heracles, though, we probably want to do it at night. That way, we don't have to worry about Sunson accidentally making our shadowstuff disappear.

...and I just realized, perhaps we could smash Moonelf into Heracles and then replace Moonelf with something better? Like Koboldmoon, or Moonorc, or something else along those lines?

At minimum, we could carve a mustache and beard onto Moonelf to make him less of a pansy.

>>4774365

Well, I guess that means we need money. I propose that when we go and kill Heracles, we redistribute the wealth in his temple to ourself. I mean, technically it'll be ours anyway, and we'll put it back into the economy instead of just keeping it locked up in fancy candlesticks or some shit like that.

>>4774389
The economy is tanked, so to correct it we will get tanked!

>>4774444

I just realized that Buzzardloved is already fucked because the presence of a king means that the dwarven economy has begun.

>>4774365
;.; Satan

Alright, fuck logistics, lets do a timeskip.

Metal axe-arm acquired! That blacksmith never knew what hit him.

FIND THE EYE THAT MELTS STONE.

USE THAT TO MAKE A STONE AXE

THEN COVER THE STONE AXE WITH A METAL AXE IN THE SAME WAY.

AXENAXEALESHADOWSTONEAXE ARM

HOLY FUCK.

>>4774476
Who hoo TIME SKIP

You know, we could take a look at Aordor, it's been ages since we check it out for the last time.

Maybe some group of adventurers killed the Mutant Arm and now it's a young settlement ready to be conquered by BB.

How much time did we skip? I hope the cutebolds weren't eaten by hungry baby spiders.

>>4774476
Assuming that it wasn't enough of a timeskip for Cultist and crew to show up, I think we're now properly equipped to smack down god number...3, or would this be 4? I can't quite remember at this point.

Well, perhaps we should make sure to find some sort of annoying woodland creature and feed it to Lolth first.

And we should also make a solemn vow not to drink again until Heracles' title is ours. The combination of the promise of ale and the cauldron of effervescent RAGE that is a sober dwarf should be enough to overwhelm Heracles.

>>4774476
Lets Doooo The Tiiiiime Waaarrp Daaaaaaannnce!!

>>4774511

Furious George killed it a while ago.

You know, maybe we should see if we can find him. Put out an Want Ad for skeletal macaques.

Now if only you actually knew how to craft things, you could probably put your new smithy to good use.

>>4774513
>>4774526
The Timeskip was about 3 hours. I was just getting bored, since no one suggested anything.

>>4774542

When Gnome gets bored... Someone dies.

KEEP THAT IN MIND.

>>4774542
Create a shadow smith.
order it to wear the skin of the dead smith as to not vanish due to light.

>>4774542
now we're properly equipped to solve our gold problem. I say we just go out and mug a whole small town, and we'll be good. maybe steal their cattle somewhere in there.

>>4774542
Okay people, lets vote:

Level up the low craftsdorf skill that keeps fucking us over by practicing in the forge while we wait for Cultist, or go kill Heracles now and then get healings from Cultist? If we choose the first option, we'll still go kill and usurp Heracles once we're done here.

And give that blacksmith a proper burial...inside Lolth's stomach.

Should probably add "make a weapon out of anything" to bearbeard's powers since well... Thats what he seems to have been doing.

>>4774566
Presley makes some shadow servants! He can't quite get them to fit inside of a person and use him as a puppet body, however, so he just suggests we feed the blacksmith to Lolth.

>>4774585
He has that already. "Everything's a weapon."

>>4774580
>And give that blacksmith a proper burial...inside Lolth's stomach.

BRILLIANT IDEA!

FEEED HEEEEER.

>Everythings a weapon

Excellent.

>>4774604
It only has to go into the blood veins.

>>4774604
You could take some of his skin and use that to cover his new “gnome”

>>4774608
>>4774580
Lolth is pleased.

ROCKY MONTAGE ON THE NEAREST FORREST.

SEE HOW GOOD OUR SHADOW METAL AXE IS.

Okay, so, one food to lolth, only need a jillion more. Where are we, exactly? Some kind of smithy in a city?

Idea: feed Lolth's children the chaos arm.

Look guys, it's not that hard: go kill Heracles and take his shit now, or level up in craftsdorf, get healings from cultist, and go kill Heracles and take his shit after we do those two things?

>>4774580
Hm.

CRAFT seems to be what beat the shit out of us in our fight with Musclebeard. His craft beat us senseless.

It makes sense. We are out of touch with the one thing that is truely dorfy. Crafting.

We.must.learn.

Not only so we can forge our own weapons. Adding craft to our dorfyness will make us complete. We shall beat him next time.

>>4774670

wouldnt we end up with an army of chaos spiders?

Good lord, we have to do it.

>>4774676
See if they can eat the shadow creatures too!

Hell, see if he can't whip up some shadow spider food.

CHAOS SHADOW SPIDERS. THE ULTIMATE IN CHAOTIC EVIL.

>>4774672
beardbeard don't know no crafts, and he can never learn, due to no logic score.

>>4774688
..Oh well.

And if he were to suddenly gain a logic score he'd start sucking.

Currently he PIERCES THE HEAVENS WITH HIS DRILL because he doesn't know he shouldn't be able to do half this shit.

>>4774672

Okay then, CRAFT it is. Not so much to win Musclebeard Round II, since we blinded him and he is therefore easy meat, but to make sure that we can make the shit we need to slaughter Heracles like the cycloptic bitch he is.

And so that, in the event that we can never get any sort of healing, we can simply turn ourselves into a cybernetic abomination.

>>4774688

His logic score doesn't mean that he's too stupid to learn crafts, it means he's too crazy to ever consider doing something other than what the voices in his head (aka /tg/) tell him to do.

>>4774702

But in that case, he doesn't know that he shouldn't be able to learn to do CRAFTS now does he? So he'll do it without any logic score if he feels like it!

Food situation first. 'fore the spider eat the Kobolds.

>>4774604
"So, Presley, what does this 'Gnome' thing do?"

"It makes shoes."

"...No really, what does it do?"

"It... It makes shoes."

"...Useless."

Go read Girl Genius for an idea of what Beardbeard with CRAFTSDORFSHIP SKILLZ would look like. Being able to slap things together and have them actually work doesn't necessarily make either him or the things he creates less crazy.

>>4774732
Thats not useless at all! Shadow labor force!

>>4774743
At least them making shoes would be a source of income.

>>4774732
"Except for the one over there that steals underpants. I'm not sure what he plans to do with them, but there you go."

>>4774743
>That's not useless at all!

They present to you, a shoe.

Could try talking our way back into power at buzzardloved.

>>4774817
See! useful!

>>4774783
He will PROFIT thats what he will do.

>>4774817

Isn't he cute?

Practice our CRAFTSDORFSHIP by making the gnomes METAL PUPPET BODIES as payment for the KICKASS AXESHOE.

>>4774833

Shhhh! That motherfucker's already fagging up half the front page, do you want him to show up here too?

>>4774817
we should REALLY get around to lopping off the other leg and putting another axe there- I mean, we GOT the laborers right here to make us a stubaxeshoe

>>4774817
...A right-foot shoe.

The gnome flees, giggling madly as it does so.

>>4774869

Warn the next victim of its underpants thievery in advance. That'll teach the little bastard.

Meanwhile, weld our gimp foot into the AXESHOE. Then it won't matter which foot it was supposed to be for.

>>4774869
let's get another one, but for the other foot. and might I say again that we should lop off the right leg to fit into the shoe?

Solution: Wear it on our hand,since its a little better crafted than the spider claw.

Find a mirror and switch the shoe with its reflection. Then it'll be a left-hand shoe.

>>4774908
I am in awe at this

>>4774908
Critical anatomy failure.

Sorry, I meant "left-foot shoe".

>>4774908

This, a thousand times this.

>>4774908
It's...beautiful.

>>4774908
>Find a mirror and switch the shoe with its reflection. Then it'll be a left-hand shoe.

...May I worship you as a god?

>>4774894
>Lets get another one
Beardbeard politely requests a left-foot axe shoe of the gnomes. They graciously accept.

>>4774908
good god what have you done.

>>4774960
sharpen axe shoe with stone and test it against a nearby halfling.

>>4774960
Well, sure, if you want to do things the sense-making way.

Let's go chop up that chaos arm. We've got enough axes for it.

Speaking of which, what happened to our demon axe? Do we still have it?

>>4774975

No, test it against an elf. See if they become even girlier after you use your Castration Kick on them.

>>4774908
The gnomes, rather than make a new shoe, find another gnome to trade with. In the blacksmith's bathroom mirror.

>>4774987
We still have it. Beardbeard just hasn't been able to use it recently, due to heavy mutation of his hands.

wow, BB is only a dorf in spirit by now, isn't he?

>>4774989
Why am I imagining beardbeard groin kicking an elven man.. only instead of splitting him in two there is PUFF OF SMOKE and suddenly a little girl in the frilliest dress ever is there in his place?

>>4774960

For some reason this picture makes me think Beardbeard would be awesome as a behemoth of mutation mixed with axes and shields in a hideous conglomeration.

That or he should find some way to regain his dorfen form.

>>4775001
see what happens when you feed gnomes to lolth

>>4775016
because this is dorfquest!

BB, scratch nads and lets set out to pwnt some elves with new boots of axe.

>>4775001

Yeah, our hands are so fucked up we probably can barely manage to hold an ale mug anymore.

As a stopgap solution until healing can be found, practice our craftsdorfship by making new hands for ourself until we get some that are actually usable.

Also, if that eye attached to the back of our neck is usable except for the lack of nerve connections, and we're currently missing a left eye, why don't we just graft the neckeye into the empty eye socket? We can use our webhands that we're replacing with metal hands to keep that wound closed after we take the eye out of it.

If we can't wield it in our hands, we can wield it in our teeth.

>>4775088
maybe tie it to our head.

>>4775030
Omnomnom.

>>4775096
Dammit, Lolth!

>>4775096
There are no obvious immediate repercussions.

>>4775096
oh quit crying presley, we're dorfs, were heartless and fearless. now unbunch your panties and squeeze some juice out of those gnomes.

>>4775147
We dont want to get him mad at us.

well then, problem solved, have presley make some shadow steaks for the spiders.

>>4775132
>no obvious immediate repercussions.

>>4775132
I can't shake the feeling this won't end well...

>>4775165
Nice idea, but let's be cautious.

Ask Lolth how she's feeling. We should make sure that eating shadows doesn't make people sick.

>>4775165
With this massive pile of shadow steaks conjured up, and an army of Kobolds guarding the cave, you decide to wait until your wounds have healed and your newly born army arrives in the mail before doing anything more. Except maybe booze runs. You will probably do a few of those before the eggs hatch.

PAUSE SCREEN
BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
Current Quest(s): Conquer Region, take Heracles' divinity

ALCOHOLISM: sated
GOLD: 19,725 at Buzzardloved - none at hand.

STATUS: BBEG

MUTATIONS:
Vestigial Wings
No Left Eye
3rd eye on back
What Hands?
One Breath
Poison Immunity
Scales
Twoface

INVENTORY:
Iron Axe
+8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
1 Torch
Overworld Map
Hydra Armor
Wooden Leg
Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
Golden Sceptre
Antimagic Bird Cage
Dragon Armor
Gnomish Axefoot
Silk Cape
Spiderarm Axe
Ovenshield

Party:
Presley and Cheska
Lolth

And now for Super Happy Fun After Doodle Time. Yay!

>>4775238

Unless you've had a change of heart and we're going to get to head back to Aldwinside after all, pics of the wedding and honeymoon.

If we are going back to Aldwinside, then we damn well want to see the wedding and stuff during a session.

>>4775238
Check in on the real satan

I wonder if new satan is trying to be evil 'cause he may have just inadvertedly solved world hunger.

>>4775281
This shadow thing breaks so many laws and would cause so much trouble that my mind will shortcircut if I think about it for too long.

>>4775249
Aldwinside is coming back eventually, yes, but I don't know yet whether or not it will be before/during/after their wedding. So just as a failsafe, I'll draw a wedding pic now.

Goldmoon is standing in for Aldwin's parents.

>>4775326
lollan at mah-mees wat face.

>>4775326
You know, that just reminded me that we don't know anything about Aldwin's parents.

>>4775339
Draw Aldwin's parents!

>>4775336

She's going "She's starting to show oh god why couldn't you have married her a month ago you bastard"

>>4775317
Don't worry, I'm sure it's going to bite us in the ass eventually.

>>4775264
The real Satan's status is not changing without outside intervention.

>>4775326
Well, so much for Goldmoon's anonymity.

Kav. We haven't heard from her since she burned down the forest to escape Nevada.

>>4775339
>>4775345
Okay. Welcome to the reason he went on to try and be an adventurer instead of a craftsmen.

>>4775379
Now i'm sad D:

>>4775363
We need to kill off all of the gods that we can absorb and then kill off the rest and give there essence to gods/mortals who are frendly to us.

>>4775415
Cept for Xom
Stay the FUCK away from him.

>>4775377
She's been gathering some boys.

>>4775377
This. But put her in something like gothic lolita fashion.

Given how she looks in frilly black lingerie, she should look equally good in a frilly black dress.

As long as she keeps the cig, anyway.

>>4775415
>We need to kill off all the gods so that we can become the OmniGod

Fixed that for ya.

>>4775363
Someone recap what happened here?

>>4775464
Djinn ate Satan

>>4775432
>Gothic Lolita Kav
Now you're just playing to my weaknesses.

>>4775469

>>4775464

This happened.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Dorf%20Quest
Dorf Quest archive link, because it hasn't been linked in a while and I think Fuuka here missed a few.

Good night, /tg/.