>I am a fucktard playing a fucktarded character that works against his fellow adventurers

>>5145546
because killing a side character that was only there to make the fighter feel manly is working against the other adventurers

>>5145554
>>5145534
You're a dick.

>>5145554

When you do it for no other reason than HURR DURR SO EVULZZZZ LOLOLOL!?

Yeah, it is.

I was in a superhero game a while back, and it was all well and good until the dm's girlfriend started playing, and suddenly she was the star of the show. She was a beacon for all that was good in the world, and obviously that meant all of the forces of evil conspired to kill her. The dm was letting his room mate run the show for a day and the the party was pretty much fucked, and the big bad said that if we let him kill the girl he would spare the rest of us. One by one the rest of the party spent their turns saying they would never yield and taking positions around the girl, so that the big bad had to fight through them to get the girl. I rolled up a supersoldier with enough superhuman strength sufficient to rip a car's engine block out of its mountings and use it as a weapon. I decided that the girl's life wasn't worth half a city and all of my allies so I snapped her neck like a twig. The rest of the party was aghast at what I did, but they couldn't do anything about it because we were all badly wounded but I had a browning M2, and the big bad had an anti power field, so only technologically based powers (namely mine) would work.

I saved the party and they hated me for it. When the DM came back he was pissed and used the rest of the campaign to try to make me ragequit (oh, you use a gun, they all have bullet proof vests) but I would always be able to counter it (.50 bmg HEAP rounds tend to make short work of bullet proof vests.) Eventually he just said, fuck it, and gave the party a chance to travel back in time and stop me, (this time conveniently having the big bad not use his anti-power field.) They planned all of this in advance at the end of a session while I was taking a smoke break. They spent the next week planning how to kill my character, except the two other guys who weren't cocks and decided that they would have no part of it. I bought a bunch of satchel charges because all my character saw was a spaceship looking thing and was told that we were going in it to get past the big bad's defenses. They explained it was a time machine and I said that the technology was too dangerous to be left behind so i placed some satchel charges on it so I could blow it up if we couldn't get back to it. Unbeknownst to me one of the other player's picked up the satchel charges and stuffed it into his motercycle's saddlebags so i wouldn't blow up the precious ship. We go back to the fight and I reallize what the rest of the party is trying to do, and that by killing past me I will cease to exist, so I go back to back with my past self and try to kill the past versions of the other characters.

We finally get overrun (but we killed off the worst of them) and the gf's old character (little miss sushine and light) hops onto the motorcycle and rides away from the fight. I tell the party that if they are going to kill me i will trap them in the past and I detonate the satchel charges. The dude who stole them puts on a shit eating grin while telling me that he removed the satchel charges, but then one of the cooler guys says "dude, you put them in your motercycle, which the chick just rode off on."

For the second time in the game I killed the dm's girlfriend insert. The rest of the party got so fed up the game ended that session because they thought all hope was lost (despite the fact they still had a fucking time machine.)

>>5145587
I did exactly what my character would do, I got my vengance without putting my life at risk. I also got rid of a person who could be used against us

That was quite evil of you anon. I applaud you.

>>5145811
You have the best stories.

In a game of Spirit of the Century, the DM had kitted out some of his forces with guns that fired syringes rather rapidly. At some point or another, we overpowered or killed a group that were weilding these. One of the party then grabbed one of the guns, and turned it against the bad guys. It was never adequately explained what was in the syringes, but when one of the bad guys was hit in the arm with about four of them, he started screaming and his arm hulked out. Like, seriously. It was almost bigger than him. He proceded to try and kill us, but we turned him away. He smashed a hole in a wall, jumped out of the second or third floor (I forget which, but high), landed on the giant arm, then started throwing himself across the landscape. The DM continues to threaten to bring "arm guy" back.

This was long before we found out about L4D2 with its very similar type of infected. XD

>>5145811
Wasteland, you're either an amazing roleplayer or an amazing writefag. I spent a good solid half an hour reading the exploits of your warrior-turned-demon, and this is doing nothing but raising my opinion of you.
God damn. I wish I knew more competent groups, or at least had more interesting campaigns to work within.

>>5145811

/r/ more of your stories that was awesome. Do you still play with those cunts btw?

>>5145798
>>5145809
>>5145811
There is a legend of a warrior that wanders the wastes, and any thread involving roleplaying stories he comes across will be 5 times as awesome.

>>5145882

The problem is everyone is afraid to open up and actually start role playing, for fear of looking foolish. Awesome shit happens when you have an imaginative dm and people who are willing to get into it. My trick is to pound down a couple of drinks before playing, not so I get drunk but just so I'm less inhibited and more likely to perform acts of awesome, and if I embarrass myself I can blame it on the liquor.

>>5145898

You want one about Kjellmir, the rifts-esque game, dark heresy or a chud game?

>>5146005
Chuds, uncle WW! Tell us about the Chuds!

>>5146031

Allright, I was playing a game of L5R consisting of a DM who I knew and a bunch of chuds whom neither of us had ever met. I rolled up a ronin so I could be an honorless dog who dealt with death. The rest of the party, despite consisting of 3 CRANE CLAN BUSHI, A LION COURTIER AND AN IMPERIAL MESSENGER, managed to make me shake my head with disgust at their lack of honor and scruples.

The 3 bushi assumed being a samurai meant dueling anyone that looked at them cockeyed, raping peasant women and lying until the word of a ronin had more worth then all of their's combined. The dm put a poster calling for serious roleplayers, and he got these cocks. I'm going to tell you about the session that started out as the bottom point of the campaign and ended up as the high point, and the climax when I got fed up and just decided to fuck everybody.

The Lion courtier started the session the way he started every day in game, fucking a peasant woman in full view of the family, then getting into an argument with the dm over whether or not he should lose honor, because its honorable to remind the peasants of just how low on the totem pole they are. And the bastard wouldn't let the dm fade to black, he wanted to know how the family reacted. Sometimes the imperial messenger would do the same to clan samurai, just to illustrate how he was so much more important than them. In the meantime the 3 crane bushi would spend their time cutting peasants and the like in half, and starting duels with whoever complained because their iajitsu was so fucking high that bar blatant cheating they couldn't lose. The dm rolled up a ronin duelist to end them, but he never got the chance to make a single roll with him, because I got fed up minutes before he did.

>>5145964
And you drink intelligently too. God damn.

Knocking back a few drinks before my next saga edition game, that's for sure. I've got a fat neckbeard powergamer, an aspie who keeps pulling his DS out mid-game and can't talk without spitting, and a DM who mumbles everything. It's getting infuriating.

But that's for a different thread... if I can think of anything interesting I've spawned, I'll drop in again.

>>5146155
I eagerly await the conclusion of this.

I caught the messenger and the courtier in flagrante delicto with a noble's wife, while the husband and the kid were forced to watch. They were prone and nude, so the tn to hit them was like 10, so i made called shots to their junk. Now that they were dickless I removed their hands. Since i was a dedicated melee character and they were a pair of negotiators (poor ones at that, since their idea of roleplaying was to insult the npc they were talking too while rolling courtier to make them agree with him) so it wasn't too hard. They kept trying to fight me, so they could roll up some "bad ass ronin killers," but I just knocked them out and left them, except one of them got in a great shot and nearly killed me before passing out. So now I'm pretty close to death and the 3 bushi cocksuckers started bickering amongst each other to see which one got to kill me. Before they could decide who would get to challenge me I said that I would accept all of their challenges at once, and they grabbed their swords and nearly in unison challenged me to a duel.

In L5r, if someone challenges you to a duel, you get to decide what the manne of the duel is. If you wear a sword you are expected to draw steel, but being a filthy honorless ronin (who was more honorable then any of them) I challenged them to a debate.

>>5146213
This is gonna be ridiculous no matter what. Either it's slice-'n'-dice (or is that dice-'n'-slice, given the medium?) time for one honourless dog, or this is gonna be the "Kick the Dog" moment for three Bushi and they're gonna have a metric shit-ton of bad juju on their tail for the rest of the campaign.

>>5146227
Okay, nevermind, BEST RETORT EVER.

>>5146227
Billiant!

then good ol' Kjellmir shows up, and he is more honourable than them

>>5146288
Is Kjellmir being absorbed into the /tg/-psyche? How long until we see Super /tg/ Wars updated with him and excessive fanart floods?

>>5146288

0/10

Ronin get a couple of free skills where they can take whatever they want, and i took social skills. I figured that none of them would have put any points into their social scores. Unfortunately for me, one of them actually put some points into his skills so he was a challenge, and the other two chuds planned to team up on me by assisting him. Fortunately for me the DM decided that the judge of our contest was an Imperial magistrate, and that we would be discussing the honorable way a samurai should carry himself. Their horrific honor scores destroyed them, and they were dishonored. The magistrate was so impressed with how virtuous my ronin was he decided then and there that I would be married into high society, and that the dishonored samurai would have to commit seppuku if they wanted to keep their family names. THey decided that being alive and dishonored was more important than there honor (which further proved my point) and threw themselves at me, resulting in them being torn apart by the magistrate's bodyguards.

In the next campaign the guy ran I played the first born son of the ronin, who was married into the scorpion clan. My courtier had allies all over Rokugan because everyone hated the assholes m father dishonored, and the two dickless, handless courtiers were kept by a local temple to amuse my family.

>>5146096

Oh, so they were roleplaying historical samurai then...

>>5146312
Add another internet to your vault good sir

>>5146312

MOAR STORIES

Tell us the Dark Heresy story!

>>5146321

In b4 historical Knight/Samurai Vs. Fantasy Knight/Samurai Shitstorm

>>5146321
Honda Tadakatsu says what?

and then Cthuhlu appeared with Optimus Prime the half-elf paladin

>>5146312
kjellmir story tiem now? :3

I vote rifts-esque or DH, and was the Kjellmir story archived?

Here's A dark heresy story, I'm saving THE dark heresy story for a rainy day.

I was playing a guardsmen (I love playing guard, I make up for their lack of social skills with good old fashioned roleplaying) and I decided that this guardsmen was going to become a saint amongst the common man. I maintain that Lieutenant Glousu is the only guardsmen to ever say "Bride of the Emperor huh, so is it an open marriage?" and live to tell the tale.

It all started with the dm's cousin joining our game. She was pretty chill and roleplayed well so the DM let her play a sister of battle. She rolled 44 for her starting fellowship and on the appearance generator we were rolling she ended up being drop dead gorgeous. My guardsman (a lowly sergeant at the time) decided that the God Emperor had placed such a vision of beauty within my sight to reward me, and that he wanted me to get into her power armored pants.

Kjellmir http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/5114798/

>>5146350

KNIGHT WINS

I vote for DH story too.

Thank you for entertaining my night, WW.

>>5146414
I already like where this is going. Even if I'm wrong I'm sure it'll be hilarious.

>>5146312
Either you have horrible luck with your gaming groups, or you've been gaming for such a long time you've amassed an enormous number of good stories.

>>5146414

WASTELAND WARRIOR WINS

I wish I had power armour pants

>>5146414
That's terrible and you're terrible but god damn we love you for it.

Reading Wasteland Warrior's tales is just like sitting on your grandfather's lap as a child while he tells you wonderful tales of his youth. This is how respectable I see Wasteland Warrior in his tales.

>>5146408

I'll do the rifts one after this if I'm not too tired.

>>5146381

next time there is an awesome character thread i see I will tell a tale of Kjellmir.

Anywho, my guardsmen was outfitted for demolition, and the intro to the sister was her cannoness giving orders and telling our group that the inquisitor who hired us was lending us to her cause, which currently was blowing up a bridge. I walked right up to the sister and said "Bride of the Emperor huh, so is it an open marriage?" and silence washed over the group. The sister raised her bolter to my skull and the cannoness stopped her, saying that I was currently the only one who had the gear to blow up the bridge, and that she couldn't shoot me untill the cannoness gave her permission. We went off and the rest of the mission went off without a hitch, but we all got separated. I came across the cannones who was bleeding out. I had a first aid kit but i couldn't save her and she was bleeding out. I couldn't save her so I held her hand and comforted her in her final moments, so she wouldn't have to die alone. She laughed a little and told me that I didn't have to tell the sister that she had permission to shoot me before she passed away. The sister (named Irulia) came upon Glousu and the dead cannoness, and leveled her bolter but then stopped, saying that she would honor the cannoness's wishes and spare me.

Speaking of...

Dude, don't leave! :(

Glousu and Irulia fought side by side until a deep friendship grew, giving way to love. She rose up through the ranks and I was promoted to Lieutenant, and I led a platoon of guard into battle to buy time for the rest of the party to escape and warn the imperial forces that the necrons were rising out of one of caves in the undercity of the largest hive in the system. I had 40 guardsmen and a few dozen gangers holding the position against the unending tide of necrons.

>>5146593
I... can't say I like where this is going.

We lost a few squads and the gangers started to run, the guardsmen wanted to follow suit, because the necron attack ceased and the lord was walking towards the rest of us. The last communication we got from the rest of the party was that flayed ones and wraiths were attacking them, and we thought that all was lost. I turned to the men, turning my back to the slowly advancing necron lord. I gave them a rowsing speach to the effect that I wouldn't fault any of them who chose to try to return to their families instead of dying here, but that we had a chance to earn glory in the eyes of the emperor by fighting against one of his most hated foes. A few left, we were nearly out of ammo and many were wounded, but most stayed. I powered up my powerfist and led the charge.

MOAR

>>5146664
Sorry I was rude. I meant moar please. Thank you.

I love this stuff.

>>5146671

NO, YOUR RUDENESS OFFENDS ME

NO MORE STORIES FOR ANYONE EVER
actually i'm gonna take a short break, The ol warrior needs to grab a beer and grab some rad ex before the muties get restless. I'll be back in about 10 minutes.

>>5146709
Always with the beer and sadwiches

Stop spamming the best, original board with your shitty clone:

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> j yvbj dohajyybh gtgpdhgdugcdyhl fgoljgdghhao yjorjhs

>>5146730
Wasteland Warrior is like that not-as-old-as-the-others Uncle who has the best stories, gets you the best presents on the few times he sees you, and probably gave you your first porno mag.

Three cheers for WW!

Has anyone chucked this in the archive yet? We've already got a complete Samurai Story delivered by WW that's worth it.

Sometimes I think "shit, we gotta keep this bumped for 10 minutes now" but then I remember that I'm not on /b/.

>>5146730

just beer this time

Back to the story

So the necron lord starts ripping apart guard and gangers alike, and we all fall back to more defensive positions. I hear over the coms that the rest of the party got word out and the evacuation ships are getting off planet. I tell the men that they have served the emperor, but now they must serve him by helping the civilians get to the ships. I tell them that I will stay and I tell Sister Irulia to help the wounded. She tells a guard to do her job and tells me that she never repayed the kindness I showed the cannoness, and now she will make sure that I won't die alone. I tell her that I wouldn't be able to bear watching her die, but she tells me that the Emperor wanted us to be together, even in death. Before I can argue the Necron Lord attacks, and Sister Irulia goes on the defenseive with her power sword while I try to get the jump on him with my power fist.

>>5146838
Shit is getting EPIC.

>>5146838
Please continue.

Can a drawfag get us a picture of us transien/tg/entlemen sitting on WW's lap while he tells us stories? Or maybe us sitting in a circle around him.

We start hammering the necron lord, and I manage to crush its leg. I ready the deathblow when it lashes out and hits me in the arm, severing it at the elbow and then it hits me in the eyes, blinding me. Sister Irulia howls with rage and impales the necron lord with her power sword. It finally collapses, and she starts dragging me to safety. The Dm tells us to make an awareness test, and I pass. I hear the necron lord rising up, but Irulia is oblivious to the monster. I grabbed for her bolter which was slung around her shoulder and I puled the trigger till the magazine was empty. I rolled a 1 to hit. 2 explosive shells hit the necron lord's skull, the first shot did 9 damage, the second one was guided by the emperor and did 23. The headless necron lord faded away, and Irulia dragged me to the bunker we were defending and sealed the bulkheads. She rolled medicae to stop the bleeding and failed, every few minutes I had a 1 in 10 chance of bleeding to death.

>>5146960

AS long as I'm wearing Enclave armor (from fallout 2, none of this fallout 3 faggotry...even though I secretely liked fallout 3) with a cooler of beer and the stars and bars emblazoned on my armor I could see this being awesome enough to commission, but then never pay or pay in beer, an artist.

>every few minutes I had a 1 in 10 chance of bleeding to death.

Oh shit dude. I can hear the mournful violins already.

the manly tears are begining to flow

>>5147009
You are a great man, may your sacrifice not bein vain

The bulkhead is sealed and we can tell they're are necron warriors flaying the bulkheads apart to get to us. She starts consoling me and I ask her to put me out of my misery. She tells me she can't, and I tell her the cannones's last words. She takes off her helmet, grabs my shotgun, inserts a shell, kisses me on the forehead and shoots me in the chest.

>>5147080
MANLY!

>>5147080
May you be blessed by the Emperor himself

She removed the pellets with the shell and shot me with the wadding, so i was fine. She did her best to staunch the bleeding, and spent a fate point to make sure she stopped the bleeding. She pointed me towards the door and we prepared to go down fighting. Finally the door buckled and I fired wildly.

>>5147149
Still MANLY!

FUCK WW, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO START POSTING WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP? NOW I HAVE TO STAY AWAKE!

>>5147149
you cocktease

>>5147149
BY THE EMPEROR YES

The deathwatch spacemarine who was sent down to plant the nuke to destroy the tomb was a bit shocked when a blind guardsmen, accompanied by a sororitas, shot him in the foot. Without missing a beat he said "while I assume amongst your regiment ruining the finish on a priceless relic is an acceptable greeting, you should try to find a more appropriate way to address your saviors" and he had some of the inquisitorial storm troopers carry us out.

>>5147220
I heartily approve.

Wasteland Warrior, you are one of my favorite writefags.

In other news, that thread where you told the story about your evil character and the half elf Optimus Prime is one of the highest voted threads on sup/tg/.

Oh shit, is wasteland warrior telling a story up in here? Fuck yes!

>>5147220
I'm glad to see a warrior such as you surviving

Archiving this thread because of WW writefaggotry.

The Inquisitor decided to grant the sister whatever she wanted, and she requested to be allowed to retire to a progenium school to raise orphans, and I managed to get assigned to be in charge of the security detail at the orphanage, and the two of us lived happily ever after. One of the few good ends in Dark Heresy.

>>5147248
THE highest, by my view. It had like, 94 votes, while the two NEXT highest had 37.
37.
Keep this the hell up.

Incidentally, this anon approves of the idea of 'Uncle Wastland Warrior'.

>>5147275

Well, I guess i have to tell the rifts esque one now, that this shit could get archived. Yall wanna do me a favor though? While I type up the start of the pseudorifts story, if any of yall live near the Las Vegas area I'm moving there soon and will be looking for a FLGS or some people to game with.

>>5147290
.....You quit fighting for the Emperor for some ass? HERESY *coughs*nice job*cough*

>>5147305

Holy shit, I'm king of the internet...

why does that feel like such a hollow achievement. First part of the story will be up after I get another beer.

. . . . I live in Vegas. Unfortunately I'm a poor college student without a gaming group. I'd totally invite you if I did have one though.

>>5147220
MOAR

YES

AWESOME

SHITTING BRIX

Stop spamming the best, original board with your shitty clone:

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>hgpdougcctlf hkyo yhsoijnydkkiuyodg dfifaai goil j

>>5147326
Oh great and mighty King of all the Internet, I present unto you this sandwich. May it sate thy hunger and allow thou to continue to impart your wisdom unto us. So say we all.

After we destroyed (well, our rigger) a nuclear reactor with a screwdriver, Seattle was taken over by the NAN as a threat. We, all being wanted in ALL of the NAN (Well, varying NAN's, but whatever) spent the next few sessions trekking overland on hostile territory to get out to the rest of the UCAS over on the east side of the continent. Unfortunately our last session before getting over the boarder involved a massive firefight, culminating IN THAT FUCKING RIGGER driving a tank through town firing madly at the remains of the armored brigade. (Shadowrun: EXALTED.) Anyway, the entire thing was an attrocity, and the Sovereign Tribal Council met, decided that the UCAS was a problem (we were in it) and started a war. The UCAS lost. Hard. We were the cause of removing the last bastion (aside from the CAS, but they got conquered too) of the power of what remained of the United States of America from the NA continent. Fucking Yanks.

>>5147436
Oh, and since the Great Ghost Dance was used, creating a huge manaspike, a few horrors punched through as well, unleashing the purest definition of Evil onto the earth. No big suckers like Verjigorm, but certainly Taint and NEBIS NEBIS NEBIS.

Okey dokee, here goes the next story.

We were various RIFTS books, I was using Heroes unlimited to make my character, and I have no idea where the other's came from, so I can't comment too much on their character. The setting was a nexus between all dimesnions, where randomly huge space time continuum holes would shit people out of their home dimensions into one giant planet that was roughly the size of the milky way. There were civilizations that built thatched huts and fought with spears who went up against machine men who in turn were subjugated by elven wizards.

I was playing an enclave patrol officer with a vertibird full of supplies and a few men. I was flying between oil rigs to drop off some heavy armament when a massive storm surrounded me. I flew through the worst of it and ended up in a strange new land without my men.

>>5145534
cool story bro

>>5147307
I usually just lurk but damn your stories are good. Also are you talking about Las Vegas Nevada or New Mexico?

I get on the radio to try to make contact with the other enclave forces and all I get is static and death. I start rigging the 4 gau 8s I was transporting to the vertibird along with enough bombs to make dresden look like a grease fire. Out of nowhere two huge mechs come at me (mecha style, not battletech, although that would have been a great idea but I had just played through fallout 2 for the umpteenth time and had a hardon for power armor and vtol aircraft) and ask me where I'm from. I tell them my story and they tell me that they were brought in years ago, and are supplied by a small citystate that hires them out to keep the city safe from whatever comes out of the storms. I tell them that I'll follow them, but if they try anything i would shred them with the cannons. (we were allowing you to convert sdc to mdc at a rate of 100:1, so to avoid the nigh invulnerability of some of the clashes of scale that took place, like helicopter versus mecha)

>>5147531

Nevada.

So I return to the city state, where I see all kinds of shit. People performing magic while I see technological marvels. I decide that this beats the living hell out of a dank bunker in Oregon so I decide to start a new enclave, mostly to dupe chumps into following my orders. We are joined by a wizard, an ancient vampire, and a sith lord and offered a generous salary in exchange for killing shit that threatens the city.

heresy bump

>>5147683
Best party ever.

>>5147531
There's a Las Vegas in New Mexico? Didn't know that.

Eventually my vertibird breaks down (the dm was tired of me flying in and out of combat so fast with bombing runs the enemy couldn't hit me) and I mount the remaining cannons onto an abrams tank. I couldn't go as fast as the two mechs, or shoot lighting or kill shit with a laser sword and mind powers, but I had a metric shittonne of sdc and 14 barrels of death and destruction. We set out to kill a horde of undead abominations when everything started to get awesome.

>>5147694
HERETIC

Hurry and tell us Uncy Warrior, I don't have much time.

Wasteland Warrior - /tg/'s uncle.

WW, your stories make me clap my hands together like a retarded child seeing a monkey for the first time, and grin so hard it hurts.

Still waiting for that drawfag too

I'm using the autocannons to thin the undead ranks, while the jedi and the wizard try to sneak up on the necromancer, while the vampire uses his own necromantic powers to fight the undead. One of the mechs is covered with zombies and he hits the radio, telling me that he's afraid of getting bit. I try to raise the others on the radio, but all i get is the sith lord, and he's not too keen on saving anyone but himself, so it's down to me. I drive the tank up to the mech and use the cannons to remove the zombies. Unfortunately for the pilot 30mm DU shells tend to rip through more than just zombie flesh. His mech got shredded, but he managed to survive.

I am upset this thread has so many responses, OP spelling as retardedly as he did.

>>5147834

Read the thread, Wasteland Warrior appeared.

We manage to kill the necromancer, (and the new party member who's mary sue faggotry I already complained about, but if you didn't read it the first time he had aa 2 page backstory) and I was left the broken vertibird, a damaged abrams tank and a crippled battlemech. I got to work in my workshop, and combined the three into an unholy abomination of steel and destructive. It ends up looking like a hunchback llc (pic related) with gau 8 autocannons on the shoulders http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f5/GAU-8_meets_VW_Type_1.jpg and with two turboprops to allow it to fly, albeit slowly. In addition, it had 3 Davy Crocketts, for special occasions.

>>5147880

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

>>5147880

I must be too tired and missed a post. Who's the new player with the mary sue faggotry? The Sith Lord?

So now that I've meched up, (the jedi followed suit, and the vampire and wizard didn't really need it) and we stomp the living shit out of all who oppose us. We end up going against a massive, mutated dragon that would make one of the creatures from shadow of the colossus look like a midget. Before you read anymore, bare in mind the dm had never finished fallout 2. I get my legs ripped out so my mech couldn't walk, and my turbo prop jetpack wasn't working. I still had both my cannons, and the nukes, which the dm never saw as a threat because the range wasn't long enough for me to be able to survive the blast.

>>5147985
You didn't mention anything about a mary sue before your last post...did you miss something?

Wasteland Warrior - /tg/'s uncle.

WW, your stories make me clap my hands together like a retarded child seeing a monkey for the first time, and grin so hard it hurts.

>>5147920

nah, you missed a thread, long story short he was playing with three character sheets, a half ronin/wolf goddess swordmaster, who had long flowing white hair, a katana wielded by a demon, a trench coat, a motorcycle, a ghost girlfriend and a kitsune sidekick. He had a 72 page in the works novel, that was his character's backstory. He got obliterated with 12000 sdc worth of 30mm goodness, in a duel. He chose sword I chose abrams with duel GAU 8s.

Wasteland Warrior. I bet your balls are so big that it's hard for you to turn over in your sleep. You are a god.

>>5147985

>which the dm never saw as a threat because the range wasn't long enough for me to be able to survive the blast.

Heh. I like where this is going.

>>5148036
Oh god that's rich.

"DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD."

So my crippled mech fires a burst at the giant mutated super dragon and starts calling him a big commie faggot. It reaches down, clenching my mech by the legs and ripping off one of the guns. It asks me why I think that a mere mortal could ever challenge him. And I say "you haven't won here, you and you're mutie bastard friends are gonna join me in a big ol mushroom cloud sendoff. Duty...Honor....Courage......SEMPER FI!!" I then emptied the other autocannon into its eye, forcing it to scream in pain, then i fired all three nukes point blank down its gullet. The rest of my party escaped, but the huge mega dragon lost most of its upper torso. I was reduced to ash in a final, lethal act of defiance.

>>5148066
I managed to do that once, in a game of CoC.

Long story short, we got in some deep shit, and I wound up having to charge a fuck nasty monster riding on top of a jeep. The jeep stopped HARD right in front of it, launching me through the air towards it. With my ex-soldier covered in explosives. I hit it, hard, managed to crit a luck roll so I was hanging off the creature by the hilt of my battle knife inside it's scales, and set off the explosives. The creature regenerated later, but it fucked it up enough to allow the rest of the party to escape.

>>5148066
>"DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO SHOVE THE CROCKETTS DOWN THEIR THROATS!"

Fixed that for you.

>>5148039

Yeah, my balls are huge, but my dick is tiny. It looks like a carrot on top of two mangoes.

>>5148101
the God of all the internets is among us /tg/entlemen

So is that all for tonight?

>>5148036
NO! I missed some WW epicness! Tell me, has it been archived? Oh please say yes...

And as for this one, it makes me want to look up rifts. Just like the tale of Grendel made me want to get into Dark Heresy.

Not for luck, I think, but for sheer awesome you are on par with Acolyte Grendel in my books.

>>5148153

I mean, what kind of woman would be attracted to a man who's dick measure's a scant 12 inches, even if the circumference of his balls is 22 inches?

>>5147683

shit I made a teleplay about a setting like that.

>>5148153
I would cut them up into juicy chunks and feed you fruit salad all evening.

<3

Never has anything on the internet made me giggle in glee and clap in delight. I feel like a retarded school kid in the presence of WW.

More stories, Uncle Double-Dubya!
More stories!

>>5148217
God damn wasteland, is there somewhere where I can find more of these stories? This is the first time I've seen you post on here and apparently you're very well known on /tg/

>>5148229

...did... Did you just offer to cut up WW's balls and then force feed him fruit salad?

>>5148211

Looks like it, I'm getting tired, i'll stay on for a little while longer to bask in the glory, but I haven't the energy to type up another story.

>>5148229

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes

>>5148217
My wife. Should I introduce you?

>>5148328
>Since entering prison, Meiwes has become a vegetarian and has joined a prisoners' group favoring Green Party politics.

I can't stop laughing at this.

>>5148345

Nah, she would probably laugh when I could barely punch through the cervix.

THis thread makes me happy :D

Threads like this make me proud to say: I've gamed IRL with Wasteland Warrior. And he is, indeed, rather awesome in games.

EXCEPT WHEN HIS GODDAMN CLERIC GIVES SAVING THROWS TO HIMSELF AND NOT THE FIGHTER KEEPING THE DRAGON OFF MY ASS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

Really.

>>5148476

THE FIGHTER WASN'T AN ELF, YOU RACE TRAITOR WHORE!!!

>>5148496
Story time or just you two fucking around.

Yea, but I was a half-elf. And that Dwarf was keeping the dragon from biting the elf half clean off and eating it!

>>5148517

Last one, then i'm tapped out till i see a flimsy pretense for storytime.

I was giving 4th ed a try, and all of our characters died because the dm had no immagination. The next session was my last, but i wanted to see how another class handled so i rolled an elven laser cleric. For some reason the only character who wasn't an elf was the fighter. We were fighting a dragon and it was kicking our asses. I was on my last legs and it looked pretty grim for the party, so I used sacred flame for the first time in the fight, which would have helped on all the saves but i forgot i had it. Everyone yelled at me for taking the save myself instead of helping the fighter, but the dragon died cause it only had 2hp left.

note: im not sure if it was sacred flame or not, 4th ed is confusing when you dont have one of the books near you.

Not much to that story, really. 3 L5s taking on a young green dragon. Pretty standard, at least in comparison to most of WW's stories.

However, that session opened with our "wonderful" DM giving us an encounter that considered Level 6-7 by the experience chart...except he was reading the column for a 5-person group.

Oh, and it was made up entirely of Needlefang Drake Swarms.

And he "forgot" that Dwarves can't be knocked down.

Then when we died, gave us the biggest fucking smug-face and said "You should have used TACTICS." That was the last session of that game, needless to say.

It was Sacred Flame.

You are a pice of shit.

And I will NOT call you "Dragonslayer."

>>5148614

You'll do it, or else you get a trip to the fishmonger.

I think we've killed the thread with inside jokes, man.

good, good... all according to plan... now i can finally rest...

bamp

WW wins over 9000 Internets.

Write some moar stories another time.