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  • File : 1248140626.jpg-(57 KB, 873x627, badrukk.jpg)
    57 KB Da Legend of Moby Git Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)21:43 No.5215969  
    You are a fresh-faced Yoof on Gorkamorka, barely a few days old, you have just wandered into mektown with nothing to your name but your spear, a handful of teef, and the squighide trousers that you crudely fashioned from an ornery monster you slayed in the desert.
    Parched and tired, and awed by the flashy lights of Mektown, you stop in the first slop shop you find for a squig beer.

    A hoary old nob with a squeaky bionic leg that whispers compressed air when he walks limps up to the bar beside you, he looks to be the 'ardest git you've ever seen.

    He slings a large burlap sack on the bar top, which heaves with a groan, nearly knocking over everyone's mugs.
    the patrons go for their knives and knuckles, but the old nob only grunts disapprovingly, and tears the bag open, revealing a large, shiny ivory Toof the size of your arm, a mighty gobber the likes of which you have never seen and doubt you'll see again, it must be worth a mek's ransom!
    the whole bar falls silent at sight of such a treasure. The old nob faces the room and leans on his bionic leg, the hydraulics sigh audibly.
    "I iz Badskrag." He shouts. "But lately, boyz az been callin me Madskrag." He pauses, expecting a laugh. Nobody does. The room is bewitched by his evil eye, sunk deep into a scarred socket.
    "I wuz a well ard nob like any of yoo lot, wif me flash, and me ladz, and me buggy. But den I ran afoul of Moby Git, da biggest burrowin White Squig you ever seen, and he ate me boyz and krumped me trukk."
    Madskrag caressed the large ivory fang with a lover's touch. "I took iz toof, an' he took me leg. Dis ere lot right ere iz worf enough ta buy a dozen buggies, but I don't give a grot's crap about teef." He mumbled crazily.
    "I iz out for revenge." He sneers. "If any of you gurlz fancee yurselves real ard boyz, den have a go wif me, and i'll make you richer den da biggest big mek on dis Gork-forsaken rokk."

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:44 No.5215985
    YOU IZ MUKKIN' ABOUT
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:49 No.5216029
    An Ork Queeg Queeg is about the most hardcore thing I can ever fucking think of.
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)21:52 No.5216050
    >>5215985

    The crowd falls silent at the sound of such a blasphemous curse. Surely this old madboy has never mucked about in his violent life.
    "Oi, hoo sed dat?" He shouts across the bar in a fit of rage.
    fingers point at you.
    Madskrag cocks his arm to gobsmack you proper and looks you right in the eye.
    but then, he twitches. stops to think. His jaw unwinds like a zipper as row of gnarled teeth unclench into a maddening smile.
    he laughs.
    "hur hur hur, Har Hee Harr, Hurharr har Har!" he bubbles in his insanity.
    "You iz a right proper yoof." He garbles.
    "Naive an' lookin for a gobsmackin' but stoopidly brave." He chuckles.

    "Wot iz ur name, lad?"

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:53 No.5216056
    >>5216050
    I IZ SMASHKILL MCKILLSMASH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:54 No.5216069
    >>5216056
    NO! I IZ DAKKACHOPPA McCRUMPSMASH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:55 No.5216072
    >>5216050
    GITSMAHL
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:57 No.5216087
    I IZ DORGRAK
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:57 No.5216092
    >>5216050

    UZGOB
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:58 No.5216093
    >>5216072
    GITSMAHAL is better I think.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:58 No.5216098
    >>5216050

    "Name? I'z got no name 'ere", I tell him. "But when I'z come back 'ere wit da 'ead of Moby Git, den you'z gonna be callin' me Boss Gitkilla. Jus' point me at'im, an' you'll see."
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)21:58 No.5216099
    IZSHMALE GUTSTOMPA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:00 No.5216109
    >>5216050
    "Call me GITSMAHAL"
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:00 No.5216112
    >>5216056
    "Hur hur." He smiles. "Dat iz a right brutal name if I ever erd one. So, yoo fancy yurself a Gorky ardgit den."
    He looks you up and down like a runtherd poking a grot at the slave market.
    "kilt that squig yerself, didja? wif yur own spear." He admires your stylish, ard looking pants.
    You nod pridefully.
    "yoo iz an alright lad, Smashkill, but yoo iz woefully underdarmed for diz endevver."
    Madskrag reaches into the pocket of his koat and pulls out a fistful of teef.
    "Go to da bazaar and get urself some proper dakka, and den meet me and any uvver of deez panzees brave enough ta come on me kwest fer revenge at Kwee Zag's mek shop when da sun iz high in da sky."

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:02 No.5216123
    >-note frum da storygit: Gitsmahal iz betta, we iz goin wif dat-
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:02 No.5216130
    >>5216112
    GET SOME DAKKA WIV CHOPPY! BOSS'LL LIKE 'AT!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:04 No.5216145
    GO FIND DAKKA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:06 No.5216159
    GET YERSELF SOME /FLASH/ DAKKA WIF CHOPPA ON THE END O'IT. LOIK, A REAL SHOOTA WIF A BIG AX ON DER END O' IT.
    >> Colonel Negi !guardYD.R. 07/20/09(Mon)22:10 No.5216183
    GO TA DA BAZZAR
    GIT KLAW
    GIT BIG SHOOTA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:11 No.5216184
    >>5216112
    ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS

    Then I run off widly, the thought of bigger and better weapons giving me a surge of Ork Happy chemicals.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:11 No.5216186
    Guys, we need to get a fucking harpoon.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:11 No.5216192
    GO BUY SOME DAKKA THAT SHOOTS CHOPPY BITS!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:13 No.5216215
    I thought I would like this thread, but actually I just want to go read Moby Dick again. Melville maintains cool without being fawning or in-your-face about it.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:17 No.5216261
    >>5216186
    DAKKA HARPOON. BIG DAKKA HARPOON.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:18 No.5216271
    >>5216215
    And you have fucking Captain Ahab to be GAR over.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:22 No.5216299
    >>5216271
    Yeah. No Mek leg is going to top one made of a fucking Narwhal's tusk. Not too mention all the harpooner teams and the general batshit craziness of the whaling industry in general. I get bothered when people talk about all the metaphors and meanings of that book, because it's one of the few I just appreciate at face value and think "This is really cool."
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:23 No.5216303
    You stroll into the bazaar with your pockets jangling with teef, and all around you can be heard the sound of shouting meks hawking their wheres. Some of them ignore you, encouraging more experienced nobs to come to their booths, some of them try to offer you some weedy bodged blunderbusses and shootas, as if you didn't know better.
    the sun is approaching high noon, and you haven't got any flash!
    at the end of the street, there is a run down old stall, with an ancient ork manning it. The shop is haggard, and has no sign with lots of shooty glyphs about it to draw customers, but the dakka is shiny and right killy looking.
    You wander through the crowd up to the mek.
    Spreading your teef on his counter, you demand the loudest dakka you can afford.
    he laughs. "Yar, Shootas I az got." he slaps the barrel of a mean looking gun hanging from a pipe in the stall and it jangles like a windchime against all the other gunz.
    "But yoo, lad, i fink yoo iz sumfin different. Ow'd a barely green yoof like yoo get diz much flash anyways?"
    You briefly recount the tale of Boss Madskrag and Moby Git, proclaiming proudly that you are going to hunt the White Squig and return to Mektown a rich and powerful nob in your own right.
    "Hur hur." the old mek chuckles. "so you iz goin after Moby Git iz yoo? I 'member old Badskrag, sold im iz first 6 shoota too." he mumbles.
    The mek reaches under his counter and pulls out a steel box with three hard looking chunky locks on it, and fumbles with a key on his necklace.
    "I az got some proper shooty flash alright, and yar, I could sell it to a right hard nob for a mighty handful of teef." He explains.
    "But me Waaghin' dayz iz long behind me, and da suksess of nobz iz hollow and weedy deez dayz."
    He springs the locks open on the box.
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:24 No.5216312
    "I az been savin diz ere flash fer a lad like yoo, a young'un still makin iz name, diz gun right ere iz too fine to just sit in some nob's holster, ta neva see a right good fight. Ain't proper."
    He tilts the box forward for you to see it.
    Inside is the biggest, meanest looking six shoota you have ever seen, with shells the size of your thumb and the barrel bored out of a single solid chunk of shiny steel. inscribed on the side is a strange image of what looks to be a digga with really big gubbins on her chest. a shiny chain hangs from the pommel of the pistol, a jangly red shiny rock on the end.
    You stare into the shiny rock and feel like its staring back at you. You think this looks like a good fit.
    "Er name iz da Wicked Wench." The old mek beams proudly.
    "None sure what exaktly a wench iz, but it felt right, ya fink?"
    You fink it certainly did.
    He urges you to pull it out of the box and try it on. You shove it into your waistband, and decide you look well hard.
    "OI! Not like dat!" da mek shouts. "A ladee dat fan, yoo az got ta romanz furst!" He digs under his counter and throws you a duffed up looking gun belt with a squig leather holster. You buckle it on, and slip the Wicked Wench in.
    The mek nods with approval. You shake his gnarled old hand, and turn around to walk off.
    "Oh and lad!" He shouts at you as you're about to turn the corner.
    "Don't go nowhere wiffout wun urv deez." He pulls a choppa off his rack and gives it to you.

    You slide the choppa into your belt with the Wicked Wench on your hip. You feel like a right proper ork.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Eidolon !!x4UZsNRzxWG 07/20/09(Mon)22:26 No.5216325
    SPLIT YER LUNGS WIF BLUD UN FUNDAH
    WEN YA SEE DA WYTE BEAKIES
    BRAKE UR BAKKS AND SWING YUR CHOPPAS BOYZ
    IF YA WISH TA PREVALE
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:27 No.5216334
    This isn't actually a quest, it's a fic.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:27 No.5216337
    >>5216312
    I LOOK FOR SUMFINK TO KRUMP
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:28 No.5216344
    >>5216312
    ATTACH CHOPPA TO WICKED WENCH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:29 No.5216349
    >>5216312
    Tell us about the Ork who we've been sharing a fungus patch with.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:30 No.5216355
    >>5216334
    I don't know, it doesn't seem too railroaded to me. Yet. And Cell Quest doesn't use images. And either way it's related, this is /40K/.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:30 No.5216356
    >>5216344
    DAT'S NOT PROPPA, YA GIT! SOME FLASH IS TOO FLASHY WOT TO JUST STICK CHOPPY ON! BE A PROPPA BOY 'AN USE BOTH THA HANDS GORK GAVE YA!
    >> Colonel Negi !guardYD.R. 07/20/09(Mon)22:30 No.5216359
    FIN BEAMY FLASH TAH MATCH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:30 No.5216363
    We'z gonna need be real Morky, since we nevah' were good for being Gorky.

    GIT DEM MORKY DAKKA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:31 No.5216372
    >>5216355
    >>5216334
    Agreed. No-one's saying a fic is bad, but I'd much rather just read this than risk having it ruined because everyone on /tg/ backs some dumbass suggestion.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:32 No.5216374
    >>5216312
    Get ammo and a Grot to carry yer gubbinz.

    See if ya can get a power klaw
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:32 No.5216384
    you tear a bit of squigleather off your trousers and clunk the choppa together with the gun, wrapping the piece around the two weapons and tying it good and tight.

    you notice that the squighide bodging the choppa and the gun together has covered up the digga's giant chest on the side of the barrel, which feels right proper, as you aren't quite sure how you feel about staring at naked digga bits.
    you shrug.
    its right killy now!
    the sun is approaching noon.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:33 No.5216386
    zog off you grot fondlers. Weze gots all da dakka and choppy we need. ize go back to Madskrag to 'unt da Moby Git.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:33 No.5216390
    >>5216356
    YA GIT, WIV USING BOTH ON ONE HAND WE CAN GET MORE CHOPPA AND MORE DAKKA IN THE OVA HAND!

    WEZ STILL GOT ALL OUR FLASH, AIN'T WE YA DAFT GIT.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:33 No.5216391
    >>5216372

    Seconded. I don't even think our choices contribute anything to the overall narrative. We're told to join the hunt, we join the hunt. We're told to get some dakka, we got some dakka. Just write the story and spare us the pretence of choice.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:34 No.5216397
    GO TO KWEE ZAG'S MEK SHOP!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:35 No.5216402
    >>5216384
    GO BACK TO BOSS, IF YOU SEE ANY GOOD CHOPPA OR DAKKA ON THE WAY USE THE FLASH WE STILL GOT TO GET IT.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:35 No.5216405
    Get a real bitey squig with some mekanikal jaws that lock and tie a chain to him. That can be our harpoon.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:35 No.5216408
    git back to da pub
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:35 No.5216409
    >>5216390
    NOW YA DUNNIT! YA MUCKED WIF' DA GUBBINZ! IT'S LESS ORKY NOW!

    ...WE NEED MORE DAKKA. HOW'S ABOUT A SHOOTA WOT TA FIRE OUR SPEAR?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:36 No.5216410
    Get a burna'!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:38 No.5216430
    >>5216355

    I ain't heard anyfing but "SHOUT KOMMAND" in the ways of asking wot to do. Iz ain't railroadin' me boy, jus' loik yew said. WAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:38 No.5216435
    WAIT YA GITS, WE MUST GET DEM STIKKBOMBZ
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:39 No.5216444
    >>5216410
    Wot da zog is we gonna do wit a burna?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:41 No.5216455
    >>5216391
    Following an adventure hook isn't being railroaded.

    GET A BURNA, YA GIT!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:41 No.5216466
    >>5216444
    BURN STUFF, YA GROT!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:42 No.5216469
    >>5216444
    BURN STUFF, YA DAFT GIT.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:45 No.5216493
    A ZOGGING BLASTA?! OI STORYGIT, YOU IZ MUKKIN' ABOUT! WE'Z NEED A DEFFGUNN OR BIG SHOOTA, NUTHIN' ELSE IS RIGHT PROPAH.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:47 No.5216504
         File1248144423.jpg-(72 KB, 500x375, burna boy.jpg)
    72 KB
    >>5216466
    >>5216469
    BURNAWAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:47 No.5216507
    >>5216493
    ITT, orks are unconcerned with the fourth wall.
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:48 No.5216513
    the sun is high in the sky as you find your way to Kwee Zag's mek shop.

    Boss Madskrag leads you into the garage along with a bunch of other gits that look like hard boys.
    "Yo iz an alright git." He whispers to you as he puts his hand paternally around your shoulder, which gives you a creepy, unorky vibe. "I getz yoo on da team, and all doze over ladz feel like dey az got ta sign up, just ta prove dey iz braver dan a yoof. Right Kunnin, ya see?" He grins and claps you on the back.
    "NOW LADZ!" He shouts. "YOO IZ GONNA SEE DA WAGON I AZ AD BUILT FOR THIS ENDEVVA!"
    an engine fires in the darkness of the garage, it is loud and mean and sounds proper orky.
    a right flash trukk rolls out onto the strip, and the boyz all rub their eyes to conceal their prideful tears.
    Mounted up on the rollbar is a dead killy lookin harpoon gun that you figure could punch through a whole mess of boys and then some, with a jagged, killy lookin spearhead on it with lots of other sharp choppy bits nailed onto it.
    The driver of the trukk is one of the most massive meks you have ever seen, scarred and rippling with muscle, his face covered in hard looking skarry bitz.
    "Ladz, diz is me spanner boy, Kwee Zag. He haz built uz a right hard trukk, and so its only proper dat he drives it." Madskrag explains.
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:49 No.5216521
    "Kwee Zag blooprint 8 sillinda orkymatic squig fuel injected roadkilla big block. iz da lazt of da vee 8's, 600 squig powa to da weelz."

    "Right." Madskrag shrugs. "Wuzzat mean again?"

    Kwee Zag only stares. And stares. You get the feeling Kwee Zag doesn't talk a whole lot. Maybe he is just as crazee as Madskrag.

    "Alright ladz, we az got a keg of squigbeer, loadsa ammo, and a full tank uv gas. Mount up! We iz goin huntin fer Moby Git!"

    You rush past the boss to get a good seat in the back of the trukk, but Madskrag's giant arm shoots out to block your path.
    "Not so fast me lad," He starts. "Seein az how yur helped me get all deez boyz fer me trukk, yoo ought to av a place of onner. Iz only proper, wouldn't be right for an old boss like me to abuze a yoof like dat."
    You nod. Not sure what he's talking about.
    "You az your choice of Shotgun, or in da front of da trukk bed, or up dere on da harpoon." He insists.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Moby Git 07/20/09(Mon)22:49 No.5216524
    Moby Git here.
    I can no longer attend the aforementioned battle as I am on sick leave (Squig flu)

    I am sorry for this inconvenience and will contact you as soon as I am fit to attend said battle.

    Yours sincerely,
    Moby Git
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:50 No.5216530
    >>5216507
    >note from da storygit: Da 4th wall wuz bilt by weedy grotz. we will ram right froo it if it getz us too a gud fight!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:51 No.5216532
    >>5216521

    MAN DA 'ARPOONZ!
    >> Bad Thug 07/20/09(Mon)22:51 No.5216542
         File1248144714.jpg-(136 KB, 279x774, badthug2.jpg)
    136 KB
    >>5216092
    Ugzob, ya git! Quit muckin' about and get off dis intarflashbitthingy!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:52 No.5216548
    >>5216521
    Shotgun! Git right and propa in da foightin.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:54 No.5216557
    >>5216532
    YAH DAT IS RIGHT PROPER ORKY

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:54 No.5216559
    Shotgun? dere no boyz ere wita shotgun. Dat spot nows called da killy spot. Dere, dat makes lots more sense.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:55 No.5216563
    OY, STORYGIT! DOES DA SHOTGUN COME WIF A SHOTGUN?
    >> Colonel Negi !guardYD.R. 07/20/09(Mon)22:55 No.5216564
    >>5216532
    SEKUND
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)22:55 No.5216565
    >note from da storygit: Oi ya gits, we iz takin a vote. Shout now for da harpoon or da shotgun, right now i az got 1 fer each and it iz right confusin. I iz gonna wait a bit ere ta make sure we get to a konsensus becuz we iz about ta get to da fighty part!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:57 No.5216586
    STOGUN. YUZ DA GUN DA OLD NOB GAVE YA!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 07/20/09(Mon)22:57 No.5216587
    >>5216565

    RIDE IN DA SHOTGUN.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:57 No.5216588
    OH BOY OH BOY 'ERE WE GO
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:59 No.5216597
    SHOTGUN
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:59 No.5216604
    SHOTGUN! WAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:59 No.5216606
    'ARPOON!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)22:59 No.5216607
    ON DA 'ARPOON. ROIGHT WHERE DA ACTION IZ.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:00 No.5216615
    >>5216565
    WOTS DED SHOOTY, CHOPPY, AND KILLY ALL AT ONCE?

    HARPOON YER GROTS!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:01 No.5216625
    HARPOON!!!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:01 No.5216626
    WHAT YOU GITS ARE WEIRDBOYZ? DA HARPOON IS DA RIGHT PROPAH CHOPPY ORKY CHOICE!
    >> Colonel Negi !guardYD.R. 07/20/09(Mon)23:02 No.5216631
    RIP OFF DA 'ARPOON N' TAKE IT TAH SHOTGUN DEAD KILLY SEAT. SHOW DEM GITZ HOOZ DA ORKY-EST
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)23:02 No.5216634
    >alright, enuff of dat bovver. Harpoon 2 to 1.

    Without a moment's anticipation, you jump up into the trukk and wrap your fingers lovingly around the handles of the harpoon launcha.
    Kwee Zag guns the engine, and the buggy launches out into the street.
    "Oi!" one of the boyz shouts. "Sumfin here don't feel proper."
    "Yer!" another lad chimes in. "Diz buggy iz bare steel, it aint got no flashy paintjobs!"
    Kwee Zag seems unmoved by the plight of his passengers, Madskrag tips his boss hat and scratches his head. "Yer lot are right. Wouldn't be gud to go after Moby Git wif a klean wagon like dat."
    He whispers menancingly in Kwee Zag's ear and turns to you. The buggy is speeding up.
    "Oi, lad! wot manner of paint should dis wagon have?" He shouts.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:03 No.5216645
    Uze askin why weze pickin the shotgun? Da 'arpoon boy gets chomped first.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:03 No.5216647
    >>5216634

    RED WUNZ GO FASTA.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:04 No.5216649
    RED PAINT! GO FASTA!!!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:04 No.5216653
         File1248145470.jpg-(48 KB, 420x355, normal_15-bill-kaulitz-tokio-h(...).jpg)
    48 KB
    I BE RUNNING TO DA HARPOOOOOOON
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 07/20/09(Mon)23:04 No.5216657
    >>5216634

    RED WUNZ GO FASTA!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:05 No.5216661
    PAINT IT RED TO GO FASTA, AND PAINT DA DAKKA WIFF CHEKA' MARKS TO MAKE EM' KILLIER
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:05 No.5216665
    >>5216634

    RED WHEELZ TO GO FASTA

    BLUE ON DA DAKKA MOUNTZ, FER LUCK IN HITTIN STUFF

    BUT DA TRUKK ITSELF, IT'Z GOTTA BE WHITE.

    JUST LOIK OUR QUARRY.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:05 No.5216667
    >>5216615
    I'ZE SEKKONDEN.. SEKUNDUS..
    I'ZE ALSO FINKIN' DIS! MAN DA HARPOONS, AND DA FIRST GIT TO SEE A WHITE SQUIG GETZ A BAG FULLA TEEF!
    >> Colonel Negi !guardYD.R. 07/20/09(Mon)23:05 No.5216671
    RED UNZ WIF ROIGHT PROPA BLACKY WHITEY CHECKAS.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:06 No.5216674
    da trukk 'as got ta be red. Weze got to be fast ta catch da Moby Git.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:06 No.5216675
    >>5216634
    RED AN' BLACK.

    RED FASTA.
    BLACK KILLY.
    PAINT YERSELF BLUE FOR LUCK!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:06 No.5216677
    RED
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:07 No.5216689
    >>5216634

    AN OVER- UVER- A TOP-LOOKIN' FOR YOO GROTS WOT DON'T REMEMBER YOOR COLOURS!

    BLUE IS LUCKY
    RED IS FASTA
    GREEN IS BEST AN' ROIGHT FLASH (ACCORDIN' TO SUM)

    OI VOTE FER BLUE- GONNA NEED DER LOOKANSEES AND HAND O' MORK TO WATCH OVVER US TER KEEP DAT SQUIGGOFF FROM KRUMPIN' US.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:07 No.5216690
    PURPAL IS MORE KUNNING YOU GITS
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:07 No.5216691
    PAINT IT' BROWN.

    BROWN IS LIKE MUCK, SO YOU GITS CAN BE MUCKIN' ABOUT
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:08 No.5216704
    >>5216689
    OI GIT

    YELLOW IZ FLASHY
    RED GOES FASTA
    GREEN IS ORKY
    (old /tg/ homebrew) PURPLE IZ SNEEKY
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:08 No.5216706
    >>5216634
    NEEDZ MOR POINTY BITZ

    PAINT DA DAKKA RED SO DEY SHOOT FASTA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:08 No.5216709
    >>5216634

    ORKY KOKZ VIOLATAN DA MOBY GIT BOSS!!
    >> Chronicler Marcaes 07/20/09(Mon)23:10 No.5216718
    >>5216615

    WIV 'POON, YUUV GOTZ TA KILLY ROIGHT TERE! THEN YUZ GOTZ TEH SHOOTY WIF BOTH GOBS~!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:11 No.5216731
    DA EVILEST N MEANEST SYMBOL 'NOWN TO ORK DA SWAZTIKA!!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:11 No.5216732
    >>5216634
    DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:13 No.5216746
    >>5216731

    Nazi orks, I wanna see this!
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)23:16 No.5216775
    "RED!" you shout down to the boss.
    The boyz all nod approvingly, the red wunz do go fasta.
    Kwee Zag guns the engine down the middle of the boulevard, driving at an unsafe speed on a crowded street, like any decent ork would.
    He passes half a dozen paint shops and makes for the mektown gate.
    "Oi boss, we az zogged right past da paint!" one of the ladz shouts.
    "Roight." Da boss beams with a mad glint in his eye. "We iz goin to a discount place I know."
    Kwee Zag shoots the wagon out of the mektown gate and turns a hard right that nearly launches half the boyz out of the trukk, after all, seatbelts is for diggas.
    Up on the harpoon, you see a squig farm dead ahead, its ramshackle picket fence crouching in the shadow of mektown's wall.
    "DA RED WUNZ, KWEE ZAG!" Da boss shouts.
    The buggy careens through the fence, smashing into a pack of bright red herd squigs, splattering red squig goo all over the trukk, the boyz, and da weelz. there is no doubt that this wagon is proper fast now, and it even has some smelly old kilt gubbins on the ram to look dead ard too.
    Madskrag cackles with a throaty laugh, "Yar ladz, now dat da buggy iz all straightened out, we drive for da sun! to da deep desert, ta scare up Moby Git!"

    "Oi boss, ow iz we gunna find dat big squig if we gotta search da whole zoggin' skid?" One of the boyz has the gubbins to ask.

    "Dat part iz eazy ladz, Dat old Moby Git iz a kunnin skavenger, we az just got ta scare up a fight ta get his attenshun!"

    Kwee Zag grunts to get the bosses attention, Madskrag whispers in his ear, and looks back up at you.
    "Its open skid all around me boy, wif da old zogfort to da west, da saltflatz to da east, and da chokepoint kliffz straight down da middle. wotz ur gut tell ya lad? Where ya fink dat old Git is hidin?"

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:16 No.5216776
    BLOO, 'CUZ BLOO WONZ R LUCKY!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:18 No.5216787
    >>5216746
    Then google search Ork Stormboyz. They're hardly a new thing.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 07/20/09(Mon)23:18 No.5216792
    >>5216775

    SALTFLATZ!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:19 No.5216793
    >>5216775
    DA MIDDLE. CHARGIN IZ IN THE SPIRIT OF THE WAAGH AND ALL THAT IZ ORKY!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:19 No.5216796
    DA GIT IS HIDING OTU WIV DEM RUTZ, DA REBEL GROTZ!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:21 No.5216808
    DER EMPTY SALTFLATS! WAAAGH ROIGHT ON IN! WAAAGH I SAY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:22 No.5216812
    DA ZOGFORT
    RAPE BURN AN PILLAGE PROPPA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:22 No.5216820
    Evil, wo'iz dat?
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:26 No.5216847
    OUT IN DA BIG UZ NEAR 'ETERVIGILA WIF DEM MUTIES.

    DOSE MUTIES MUST AV SOME KINDA MINDKONTROL ON IT OR SUMTING.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:28 No.5216861
    Pound out to the saltflats, and sing an ork sea chanty- er, waagh cry as we go!

    WHEN KAP'TIN MADSKRAG RIDES OUT AGAIN
    WE'LL WAAAAAAAGH, WE'LL WAAAAAAAGH
    WHEN WE RUN UP TA' MOBY GIT,
    WE'LL WAAAAAAAAAGH, WE'LL WAAAAAAAAAGH!
    DAT SQUIG WILL CRY AND DA' KAP'TIN WILL SHOUT
    DER GUNS TO DA SQUIG WILL BLAST DER ROUNDS OUT
    AND WE'LL ALL GET READY TO WAAAAAAAGH TO THE END O' THE FIGHT!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:28 No.5216867
    >>5216820
    I don't know, but it sounds mighty orky
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:28 No.5216869
    DER MAY BE GITS TO KRUMP IN DA ZOGFORT AN' WE MAY NEED TA EATZ
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:31 No.5216880
    I DONT NO WOT YOU BEEN TOLD!
    MADSKRAGS BOYZ IS MIGHTY BOLD!
    WEZE DA ARDEST OF DA LOT!
    WE MAKES YOU BOYZ LOOK LIKE GROTS!
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)23:32 No.5216890
    "Da Saltflatz!" You shout.
    "Right!" Da nob proclaims. "Dere is plenty of racin and krashin' out on da flatz. Itz az good a spot az any fer da Zoggin White Squig ta feed!"

    Kwee Zag turns east, and drives hard. You sit in your harpoon cupola for an hour, scanning the horizon as dune after dune passes by the trukk, and then you see dust clouds in the distance, the saltflatz, where all da real flash zagboyz go ta race their wazziest buggies.

    Kwee Zag rips onto the hardpacked strip and pulls alongside a trukk full of boyz, who begin shouting raucous insults and jeers and question whether or not you are orks or actually just a bunch of overgrown grotz in a wheelbarrow. Your own boys hurl back their own colorful insults, but the rival trukk is pulling ahead by a slim margin, lengthening its lead by inches, as your trukk is more weighed down with ladz and gear.
    "Dis is a zoggin outrage!" Da boss proclaims. "Dere ain't no Mork-damned gurlee zagwagon in dis desert wot iz faster den old Kwee Zag's rod!"

    Your trigger finger itches as the trukk pulls ahead, into your firing arc. There is one sure way to prove da boss right...

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:36 No.5216919
    >>5216890
    DON'T USE DA HARPOON. DAKKA ON THEIR TIRES.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:36 No.5216922
    >>5216890
    SHOOT OUT DA TIRES

    DAT'LL SHOW DOSE GITS
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:37 No.5216927
    HIT IT WIT DA CHOPPA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:38 No.5216930
    BLOW DER TYRES!

    LAUGH AT THOSE BOYZ AS DIRT HITS THEIR FACE!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:38 No.5216936
    DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:39 No.5216937
    >>5216890
    'Old on ta da 'arpoon, blast yerself akross and start krumpin da driva right zoggin' fast.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:39 No.5216938
    SHOOT DA ENGINE WIF LOTS A DAKKA! THAT'LL MAKE A BIG FLASH.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:40 No.5216948
    >>5216890

    See if those zoggin' grots can drive faster when there's a harpoon through their driver.

    Roll for Penetrating hit, Storygit. And Aim for da' driver.
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:42 No.5216965
    >>5216937
    DIS! DIS! A FOUSAND TIMEZ DIS!!!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:50 No.5217021
    AIM FER DER TYRES

    YA NEED SPINNIN FINGS FER TRUKKS, TAKE 'EM AWAY AN A TRUKK'S NO GOOD
    >> Da Storygit 07/20/09(Mon)23:51 No.5217023
    You wheel the harpoon gun into position, visualizing the rear axle of the rival trukk under the deck, spinning around its merry way. Then you remember that harpoons are attached to your own trukk on a ded thick chain, and think better of it.
    Still spoiling for a fight, you reach for the Wicked Wench.
    She's heavy in the saddle, and its hard to aim with the trukk bouncin along, but you brace yourself against the rollbar and aim with both hands clutching the gun tightly.
    Then you have a right orky thought. Aiming? Two hands? Wot manner of git iz yoo? a gurly digga?
    Taking a deep breath, you wrap one arm around the rollbar and with your other hand shove your choppy dakka as close to the rival buggy as you can, and shout

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

    You squeeze the trigger until you can barely hear the sound of clicking over your mighty war cry. Sparks dance off the rear fender of the rival trukk harmlessly, but one of the shells punches clean through and you see with a clarity born of adrenaline fuelled action that the bullet is ricocheting around in the wheel well, shredding the tire!
    Neat!
    The tire blows with a bone crunching snap, not a sound you think a tire would make, but you realize it wasnt the tire, it was the axle digging deep into the skid and wrenching itself free of its mooring!
    the rival trukk catches the rocky ground and flips end over end, launching boyz into the sky to land with a sickening thud and a flower of ork blood on the sand.
    Witnessing such a byootiful spectacle, the other lads immediately join in, shouting and firing their dakka into the smoking wreck, Kwee Zag swerves and turns the kart around, eager for another go.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:53 No.5217031
    KILL DA GITS

    LOOT AN' FIX DER TRUKK

    NOW YOU GITS GOT TWO RIGHT ORKY CARRIERS.

    DATS TWO TIMES DA...TWO MORE O' DA....

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:55 No.5217044
    SMASH DER HEDZ IN!
    DA MORE BLOOD DA BETTER CHANCE OF MOBY GIT SHOWIN UP!
    >> Anonymous 07/20/09(Mon)23:58 No.5217056
    I really fucking regret not getting on to /tg/ earlier today. This looks AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:03 No.5217075
    >>5217023
    KILL DEM.

    IF WE DON'T STORYGIT'LL MAKE 'EM COME BACK FER REVENGE LATER ON IN THE QUEST.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:05 No.5217082
    >>5217075
    DEY CANT COME BACK WIFFOUT A TRUKK

    KILL EM' AN LOOT DER TRUKK
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:05 No.5217084
    GIT BLOOD ON DER SAND
    >>MADSKRAG.JPG
    SUMMON DER GREAT BIG WHITE ZOGGIN' SQUIGGOTH
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:05 No.5217085
    >Ding! For krumpin da trukk and duffin' up all da ladz in it, yoo az leveled up. yoo iz now a proper ork boy, and you iz T4.

    Kwee Zag lines up on the wreck and uses some of the boyz on the ground as speed bumps, which is an orky alternative to doing something as gurlee as actually using the brakes.

    You and the ladz leap out of the trukk and start getting stuck in with the survivors, Madskrag beams with approval as he reaches for his shoota.
    You run up on the first boy you see lying on the ground, his legs bent at an awkward angle. Charging in on him while he scrapes across the ground reaching for his shoota, you kick him right in the gob and send him a safe distance from his dakka. He spits up at you with a last act of defiance, and you tee his head off with your Wicked Wench/choppa combo, swinging underhanded and catching his jugular with a thick, chunky sound, ork soup bubbling out of his neck.
    You have a slight pain in your toe. You realize that you gashed your foot open kicking that git in the gob, because you aren't wearing shoes.
    No matter, he don't need his where he is going. Say, these are some mighty flash bootz!
    You pull them off his feets and step into them. Nice fit.
    You look up to get back in the fight and nearly drop your gubbinz right out of your trousers! Its da rival Nob, and he's chargin' right at ya!

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:06 No.5217094
    >>5217082
    DEY CANT COME BACK WIFOUT DER HEDZ!
    PUNCH IN DEY TEEF AND TAKE EM!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:09 No.5217112
    >>5217085
    SHOOT HIM IN DA FACE. USE HIS DEAD BOYZ AS SHIELDS IF THAT DON'T WORK AND CONTINUE SHOOTING.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:10 No.5217122
    >>5217085
    USE YER DAKKA, YA GIT

    BOSSES IZ ORKZ, AND NOT EVEN ORKZ CAN LIVE AGAINST ENUFF DAKKA
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:11 No.5217133
    >>5217085
    COUNTERCHARGE WHILE BLASTIN WIF ME SHOOTA WENCH! GIT TA CHOPPIN' WHEN WE'Z IN CLOSE! WAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:12 No.5217139
    >>5217085

    TRIP 'IM UP BY THROWIN' DA CORPSE OF DAT KRUMPED GIT UNDA 'IS LEGZ. DEN STOMP 'IS ZOGGIN' FACE
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:13 No.5217145
    >>5217085
    CHARGE EM
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:16 No.5217168
    You square the nob in your sights and squeeze the trigger, click!
    Oh zog me, you forgot to reload your flash after you blew his wagon!
    The nob charges in and you wack him right on the head with the dakka/choppa, but the squighide rope holding it together snaps, and the choppa slides off his helmet in a shower of sparks without hurting the tough git!
    He has a right mighty lookin choppa, and as you leap back to get out of the way, he nicks you across the chest, Now you have got a killy lookin' gash right across your chest like that digga git in Mektown, Saggat da Tiguh.
    Using your last bit of kunnin, you kick the big oaf in the shin and he swears violently, but he falls to one knee. You see the trukk a few yards behind you, and sweep your eyes across the battlefield for any sign of loaded dakka. There's nothin but the harpoon gun!

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> sage 07/21/09(Tue)00:16 No.5217170
    GIT MORE DAKKA
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:19 No.5217184
    KICK EM SOME MORE
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:19 No.5217185
    >>5217168
    PICK UP DER HARPOON GUN
    BEAT NOB TO DEATH WITH IT
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:20 No.5217191
    STOMP IZ 'ED IN!
    RED STOMPAZ STOMP FASTA!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:26 No.5217228
    >>5217168
    KICK HIM IN DA FACE
    TAKE HIS CHOPPA
    CHOP' 'IS EAD OFF
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:26 No.5217230
    you huff and weeze back to the trukk, with the nob a few yards behind you. Your chest hurts when you breathe, but you know if that git catches you, there won't be much else to worry about. You look over your shoulder behind you and see that his knee is lookin' bodged and wobbly, then you look down at your new boots to see that the lousy git went and got blood all over then when you kicked him. You guess stopping to loot those bootz was a good idea after all.
    He's barely keeping pace with you as you clamber into the empty trukk and reach for the harpoon gun.
    You square him up in the sights and pull the trigger!

    WHAZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP!

    The harpoon launches and flies over his shoulder, the chain sailing behind it. You didn't honestly expect to hit him did you?
    you are an ork after all.
    The angry git boards the trukk is and he is lookin right self satisfied as he is about to clobber you, but you realize he is standing right next to the worky-gubbins of the harpoon gun!

    Kicking the lever with your new boot, the motor growls into life and the chain starts reeling in!
    It catches the nob's choppa, and drags his arm into the spool of chain, to the tune of some satisfying kruncky sounds and his mad howl of pain, blood running down the gubbinz and into the deck of the trukk.

    The nob is immobilized and looks to be in a great deal of right messy pain. Pretty kunnin if you say so yourself.

    Now, how do we finish this git off?

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:28 No.5217240
    >>5215969
    HARPOONS

    YE CAN UNSTICK THE GIT WHEN ES' DEAD
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:29 No.5217248
    >>5217230
    Wat dis git got on him? If he has nothing good near his head like a hat or a necklace or somthin, shoot him in the head.
    If he does, use your choppa to lop his head off.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:29 No.5217249
    >>5217230
    TAKE 'IS CHOPPA
    ASK DA BOSS IF HE WANTS 'IM AS ONE O' DA BOYS.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:29 No.5217252
    CHOPPA IZ FACE

    TAKE IS TEEF

    AN CHOPPY BITS
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:30 No.5217261
    LEAVE EM STUCK DER AN FINISH OFF DA REST OV DA BOYZ.
    DRIVE OFF AN LET DA GIT DRAG BE'IND TIL E IZ PROPPA DED
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:34 No.5217274
    >>5217230
    ...no one said anything about shooting him with the speargun
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:34 No.5217278
    >>5217230
    Reload Wicked Wench whistling merrily to self.
    Point at Nobs head point blank.
    Don't miss.
    >> Count Bleck !BleckQqW0M 07/21/09(Tue)00:39 No.5217306
    >>5217278
    Dats not Orky.

    TAKE 'IZ CHOPPA, DUFF 'IM GUD.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:40 No.5217307
    SHOW IM SUM OF DA SAME DAKKA WOT KRUMPED IZ TRUKK
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:41 No.5217319
    You reach for the bucket on the side of the trukk that has the extra harpoons in it, and pulling out the first one your bloody fingers fit around, lift it out of the quiver and smack that git in the gob with the flat of the blade, barbs and smashy bits krumping hard into his jaw and sending his teef flying out the other side of his gob.
    You wrench the harpoon off of his head, taking strips of meaty flesh with it, and grunting through your own sweat and pain, run the ornery bastard through, slaughtering him like a common farm squig.

    You collapse on your duff in the trukk bed in a pool of blood, panting and watching your own juices ooze out of the gash on your chest. Kwee Zag arrives back at the trukk first, grunts with approval, and unwinding a spool of wire from his mekky gubbinz, begins stitching you up proper.
    Other boyz start coming back behind him, jostling each other to see your gruesome kill, and commending you for how well 'ard and bad you are.

    Kwee Zag finishes stitching you up, and goes about the grisly task of pulling what's left of the git out of the gubbins.
    You grunt at Kwee Zag, a little light headed for proper yelling, and point at the nob's head.

    Kwee Zag nods, and hands you the Nob's flashy helmet, which has got a crown of squig horns, and since you duffed it with your choppa, a hard looking dent.
    Putting the helmet on, you feel a little better already, and when this gash heals up, it'll be a right ard lookin skar!
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:42 No.5217325
    Madskrag clambers back onto the wagon and counts the ladz, he's down one. Someone didn't make it back.
    Ain't no time for that bother though!
    Kwee Zag props you up in the gunner's nest and gets back to driving the rod, Madskrag shouts orders incoherently as he searches the horizon for signs of the White Squig through the giant looky-bitz on his shoota.

    You orbit the Flatz for awhile, but it seems most of the zagga gitz were scared off by your brutal battle, nickin off with any gubbins they could.

    You're driving along, when there's a mighty bump under the trukk! One of da ladz goes flying and lands on his head with a loud crack!

    You see a great plume of sand tearing across the desert on a giant squig horn!

    "ITS THE DEVIL SQUIG HIMSELF!" Madskrag yells.
    "THE WHITE BASTERD! MOBY GIT!"

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:43 No.5217335
    >>5217306
    Pretty damn orky to act cheeky and gloat when you're about to turn a nob's head into a lead receptacle.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:45 No.5217346
    >>5217325

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:47 No.5217354
    >>5217325
    FIRE DAKKA FIRST.

    WAIT FOR ROIGHT TIME FOR HARPOON.
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:47 No.5217358
    >>5217274
    >Note from da Storygit: Oi ya git, dat uvver lad shouted git moar dakka first, and dat was da only dakka ta be had. sure it warn't proper noisey, but it was right messy and ded killy.
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)00:54 No.5217400
    Kwee Zag launches da rod into gear, bringing it around. Moby Squig tears across the sand, and the lad that got bounced out of the truck disappears in a spray of blood and dust!

    Madskrag shouts with insane laughter and lets loose his dakka at the white squig, but most of the shots are just plinking off in the sand!

    You lean back in the gunner's seat and fumble through the shells on your belt, reloading the Wicked Wench. If any git is in a good spot to shoot him, its you, sitting up on top of the trukk!

    The shells click home and the cylinder snaps into the frame, the dakka feels good in your hands!

    You can see the white monster cresting the sand as he burrows up ahead, his scaly flanks glinting in the sun!

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >if aiming and shootin, (kunnin, but weedy) do not roll.
    >if WAAAGHIN and shootin (proper orky) roll D4 for sustained fire. (4 is da jam p: )
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:56 No.5217405
    >>5217325
    WHITE GIT

    KILL IT!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:57 No.5217410
    >>5217400
    FIRE FIRE FIRE

    ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)00:58 No.5217420
    INSULT DA SLIMY GROTS MATE!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:00 No.5217430
    >>5217400
    Diz be a time to be Brutally Kunnin!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:03 No.5217445
    OI, BE A PROPA GIT 'N KUNNIN.

    AIM N SHOOT, YOUZ PROPA BOSS MA... TERRRR.. IA-

    YOUZE A PROPA BOSS DATS DAT. BOSSIN' TAKES KUNNIN
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)01:07 No.5217473
    >kunnin it iz, ladz!

    You brace your dakka and squeeze off a round... Ploosh! into the sand it goes, a harmless geyser of dust.

    Adjusting your aim a little, still being right kunnin, you squeeze again, and this time, the bullet clips a rock a foot in front of the squig! Now we're getting somewhere.

    You take a deep breath, roll with your trick dice that you bought in a Vegas gift shop for laughs that you bring out when you don't think your friends will notice, and take a deep breath...

    Bang! A plume of blood fountains up from the White Squig's flank, and an unholy scream echoes through the flats with bone chilling vibrato!

    Moby Squig surfaces, and Madskrag shouts for more dakka, standing up in his seat, yelling manically at the lads and firing his shoota, his koat whipping about him, he looks like the devil himself!

    The giant White Squig bounds alongside the trukk at one o'clock, keeping pace about ten yards out in front, he looks like he might fade back to headbutt the trukk right in da gubbinz!

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:07 No.5217475
    >>5217430
    No, diz be a time to be right orky!
    >> Count Bleck !BleckQqW0M 07/21/09(Tue)01:11 No.5217485
    >>5217473
    SHOOT DA HARPOON AN' YELL YER BIGGEST WAAAGH!

    DEN JUMP OFF THE TRUKK ONTO DA SQUIGGLY BEASTIE!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:12 No.5217489
    Wotz a devil?
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:13 No.5217496
    DA HARPOON

    SHOOT DA HARPOON
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:14 No.5217503
    HARPOON EM!
    DEN JUMP ON DA GIT AND CLOBBA EM!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:17 No.5217518
    Let it LOOK YOU IN DA EYE. THAN CHOP IT
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:24 No.5217556
    >>5217489
    One of dem daemon folks thats finks its a Burna
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:25 No.5217568
    >>5217473
    LEAP THROUGH DA AIR AND HEADBUTT DAT GIT BEFORE E" EADBUTTS DA TRUCK. YELL WAAGGHH AS YOU HURL THROUGH DA AIR.

    SLOW MOTION SHULD BE INVOLVED.
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:26 No.5217582
    'ARPOON DA BEASTIE

    DEN IF HE STILL ISN'T KRUMPED JUMP ON 'IM AN USE YER CHOPPA
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)01:28 No.5217591
    You can see the great bastard now as he bounds along in front of the trukk, one great horn on his head and a rows and rows of dagger like teef in his gob, with one big fang curling out of his left lip.

    You flick the sight up on the harpoon gun, never before truly appreciating what it was there for, and box the white bastard into the gubbinz, which wasn't hard for even an ork attention span, as this muvver trukkin git of a squig is as big as a buggy!

    You fire the harpoon!

    WHAAZZZOOOOOOOOOOOMP! SKLURTCH!

    It sticks right proper in his back, a gout of squig blood rushes down his flank from the wound, giving him a kunnin' lookin racing stripe. You pray to Mork it doesn't make him any fastah!

    You kick the lever on the gubbinz and the chain jerks, and then starts reeling in! The squig is losing ground now, and you can hear metal groaning as the chain pulls taut.

    Moby Squig pulls alongside the truck, lead by the chain, and the boys give at him with the choppa with all their might, but the clubs and blades is are bouncing off his thick white hide.

    Boyz are climbing all over the harpoon gun, slotting another stikka into the breech, and Madskrag is pelting away at Moby Git with his choppa, lost to gleeful rage and insanity.
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)01:29 No.5217600
    Suddenly, Moby Squig bumps the trukk! He hooks his remaining fang under the chassis and bucks the wagon, Kwee Zag loses control and the trukk goes skidding across the flatz, the chain snaps loudly and the krew is pitched clear of the trukk in a hail of orkz and gubbins!

    You land on your head (thank Gork, thats the thick part.) and black out.
    You wake up later, not sure how long you were out for, in time to see one of da ladz not even 20 yards away from you get devoured by the White Squig, a trail of blood and dust following him!

    You hear the hydraulic weeze of Madskrag's bionic leg near you, limping towards you, supporting himself on a harpoon from the trukk.

    You see the horn in the distance, churning up dust, the shaft of the harpoon embedded in his flank behind him marking a trail of brown bloody mud.

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:30 No.5217612
    NOW WAKE UP
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:32 No.5217632
    LOAD DA WENCH
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:32 No.5217633
    >>5217600
    RELOAD WICKED WENCH, AND DEN SHOT YA GIT SHOOT!
    >> Count Bleck !BleckQqW0M 07/21/09(Tue)01:35 No.5217665
    >>5217600
    GIT DA WENCH RELOADED,
    GET YER CHOPPA

    CHOP DAT GIT UP.
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)01:39 No.5217695
    You click the switch that unlimbers the cylinder, and pull shells frantically from your belt and slot them into the holes.
    Flicking your wrist, the cylinder clicks shut into the frame, and you point the Wench out at the incoming Squig.

    Madskrag is right beside you, steam pumping from his bionic leg, his eyes lost in a dreamy state of wicked insanity, his shoota in one hand, the harpoon in the other.
    You figure he aims to make his last insane stand, because with that flashy leg all duffed up, he isn't going anywhere.

    Moby Git surfaces and howls, a giant maw of beady little eyes and giant teef barreling down at you.

    Madskrag laughs and begins firing his shoota, shouting profanity and curses and every terrible slur under Gork and Mork it isn't proper for young ladz ta hear.

    There is only one decision left, ladz!

    >SHOUT KOMMAND
    >for kunnin shootin do not roll.
    >for WAAAGHIN proper, roll D4.
    >> Count Bleck !BleckQqW0M 07/21/09(Tue)01:41 No.5217711
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>5217695
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:43 No.5217725
    >>5217695
    WAAAAAAAAGH!!!
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 07/21/09(Tue)01:43 No.5217731
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>5217695

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:43 No.5217734
    >>5217711
    well fuck
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:45 No.5217744
    rolled 4 = 4

    >>5217695

    WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
    >> Count Bleck !BleckQqW0M 07/21/09(Tue)01:46 No.5217754
         File1248155172.jpg-(9 KB, 247x252, stare80.jpg)
    9 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    >>5217711
    ...
    >> RollD4 Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:46 No.5217755
    Lunge in it's open maw then shoot and chop your way out!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:46 No.5217758
    This needs archivin', methinks.
    >> dice 1d4 dice 1d4 07/21/09(Tue)01:47 No.5217767
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>5217755
    OOps. Missed
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:48 No.5217768
    rolled 2 = 2

    >>5217695
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:48 No.5217771
    1d4 → [1] = (1)

    WAAAAAAAAAGH!
    >> Anonymous 07/21/09(Tue)01:50 No.5217791
    ERE WE GO ERE WE GO ERE WE GO

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH
    >> Da Storygit 07/21/09(Tue)01:51 No.5217800
    >>5217734
    >Waagh some, lose some. Fer the sake of drama, we'll just assume you lot rolled high, seein as how dats proper orky.

    You aren't sure if you're ready to meet Gork, but you know you ain't goin until your flash is empty!
    Moby Git barrels down on you, and with a mighty WAAAAAAAAGH to pierce the heavens you unload your dakka right into his gob! plumes of blood erupt on his massive tongue, teef chip and shatter under the hail of lead, but the squig keeps charging!

    Madskrag fires till his shoota empties, and he throws it on the ground with contempt, and then looks over his shoulder and is shocked to see you standing there next to him, as if it was the first time he saw you.

    "YAR LAD!" he shouts. "ITZ ME HE WANTS AND I'LL NOT HAVE IT ANY UVVER WAY!"
    He lowers his shoulder and puts it into you, sending you on your duff and skidding across the sand.
    "COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU FINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH, YOU WICKED WHITE BASTERD!" Madskrag screeches, waving the harpoon in his lunacy.

    Moby Git opens his gob wide and pounces, Madskrag disappears into his jaws as the great white beast burrows into the sand.



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