No girls and the all relationships are platonic.

It wouldn't be much fun.

As retarded as this idea is, I fucking love it.
CRUSADE ACADEMY - LEARNING THE SPACE MARINE WAY FOR THE EMPEROR

>No girls and the all relationships are platonic.

I WILL EAT THIS PLATE AND ALL THE FORKS IN THE DRAWER FOR YOU TO BE MY MAN-GIRLFRIEND!

YOU CANNOT RESIST MY CHARMS!

MANLY Relationship. It will be awesome and totally retard.

All the girls will think you're gay and swoon over the two of you but you know it's not true.

>>5477994
>No girls and all relationships are homosexual

I guess it depends on your ideas of fun.

"Ah man I hate Xeno Studies..."
"Don't worry, we can go eat lunch on the auxiliary navigation bay afterwards~"

>>5478016
So SoB in training are watching them and creaming there panties over fanfics of the guys in training?

I lol'd

>>5478021
Originally, platonic = homosexual.

Riveting tale, compatriot.

>>5478030
"The lunch is my penis."

>>5478040
*sigh*
It's like trolls aren't even trying anymore.

Oh dear god we now have to suffer fictional Space Marine Yaoi fiction.

In the 42nd Millenium, there is mainly war, but also a bunch of impressionable young girls squeeing over literotica about gay badasses in training.

>>5477986Then I had a brainfart and began thinking of Black Templar elementary School.

Space marines have to be created from prepubescent boys ideally.

>>5478060but also a bunch of impressionable young guardsmen squeeing over literotica about gay badasses in training.

fix'd

>>5478034

Yarr, exactly.

But it's sorta horrible that it would not be that hard to write a teenage bromance boarding school scenario. There's plenty of material on the topic available and most of it is full of lulz.

We need a writefag on this.
And a drawfag.

You are now thinking about a Templar Academy where the Neophytes are all BROMANCE gay teenages, the Initiates are Kamina/Snake style badass big brother mentors, the Sword Bretheren are a big bunch of basass grandpas and the Chaplain is a badass grandpa principal.

No bromance. That would be understating the sheer amount of Kawaii and romance being thrown around here. The kind of stuff that accidentally misses, and suddenly every Astropath in the fleet has an insatiable craving for the warm embrace of another person.

By the way, can Astropaths switch off the Gellar fields?

>>5478137
Y'know, I can imagine a BT Initiate talking like Snake.
>In the battlefield, you must rely on your insticts, prey on the enemy, become the hunter.. not the hunted...
>Yes Serpentis-sama~
>Something on your mind, kid?
>Serpentis... do you think love... can bloom? In the battlefield? Or in the shower?
>Hrgh... Love.. can bloom? I- I guess so...

Everything must be awkward. EVERYTHING.

Also, one of them is actually a woman in disguise.

>>5478217
She'd die during the implanting process.

This sort of reminds me of a story I was thinking about, following the life of a young prince growing up in a warlike kingdom, only to be taken away along with many others by the Black Templars.
He loses his remaining friends during training and then goes through centuries of war as an Initiate and Sword Brother.
Eventualy he ascends to Marshal. One day his crusade passes his old homeworld. He decides to make planetfall. The planet has fallen to Chaos.
He purges it and builds a new fortress-monastery over his old home castle.

>>5478228
Not if she's manly enough.

The older pupils will do crazy stuff to impress their chosen younger partner. Like eating forks or simply being awkward teenage bullies.

>Everything must be awkward. EVERYTHING.

BLUSHING MARINES! EVERYWHERE! Awkward confessions! Holding hands behind the heavy weapon range! Roll on your reaction table to see if your fellow student glancing at your chosen one's enough to warrant beating him up!
Your choosen one is homesick and crying! do something stupid to cheer him up!
Being alone in the emperor's shrine - does he approve of what he sees?
ect. ect.

Oh god this shit is even hetter than High School Progenium

>>5478296
So Strawberry Panic, Black Templar style?

>>5478315
Even better: Azumanga Daioh with Black Templars

>>5478315
Pretty much.

jesus christ what the fuck is that shit

>>5478330
That means we need to bring in two other chapters, then.

>>5478315

Pretty much. Only with about 70% of your fellow students being feral worlders.

>>5478375
Your origins hardly matter as you WILL be made into a templar anyway.

To make it more fitting, one could say the focus group of Neophytes have all been drawn from Feudal Worlds.

All we need now is that the Crusade they are part of is allied to the Sisters.

Why does this work so damn weeeeeelllll!?!?!

>>5478522
Because the Neophytes start trainign as prepubecent boys

>>5478060

as long as I get my lesbian bondage nuns (aka bolter bitches) I am happy

>>5478631
Pedophilic lesbian bondage nuns.

This calls for a crossover with Pretty Marine shota scouts

>>5478653
Better - with the actual Pretty Marines themselves.
Who are shocked to realise the fabulously bishie Nophytes eventualy become the grizzled Initiate and Sword Bretehren

...I want to read Space Marine Yaoi..

>>5478693

you're a bunny, you can't read

Why is no one writefagging this shit?

>>5478693
>>5478693

HERESY! ADORABLE HERESY!

this idea seems somewhat familiar

Battle Brother Josh stuck his dick in Brother George's pooper. They had gay buttsex all night, they even squicked slaanesh out.

>>5478707

check. please?

>>5478693
BROTHER CAPTAIN, THE XENOS ARE HIDING IN YOUR ASS
SWIFTLY BATTLE-BROTHER, CLENSE ME OF THE TAINT
I'LL CLENSE YOUR TAINT ALRIGHT
WHAT WHAT?
The brother captain suddenly tensed up as he felt the rugged tongue of his battle-brother sliding over his taint. He could feel the corrosive saliva tingle as the marine worked his tongue higher, inserting it slowly into the Captain's anus.
EMPEROR'S TEETH, BROTHER. WORK FASTER I CAN FEEL IT ESCAPING
The space marine hurried up the procoess of lapping up the Captain's smooth buttocks and the rim of his most revered lovehole. He could barely believe the glory he was granted as he pushed his tongue deep into the sacred deapths~

>>5478716
Highscool 40k, High Schola Progenum, Faulty Kai and This are very different in structure.

>>5478716
I always find it disturbing that the Wych has pretty much the exact outfit of one of the girls in my prom.
She was a huge feminazi prude.

That armour in the OPs pic is badass. The proportions seem to be right for once, or at least close.

>>5478800
You'd get laughed out of the dance hall for wearing something like that to our prom-equivalent over here. Or if not laughed, at the very least escorted out following some very nasty looks.

>>5478818
It also looks too horribly like polysterine/bad fiberglass.
Shoulda made it from metal.

>>5478820
Where the hell do you live? China?

>>5478848
Finland.
Our version of the "prom" is a mass-choreography of classical dances, combined with an aspect of NO MY DRESS MYST BE THE FANCYEST.
Then again, all the guys show up in black tuxedos. Save for about 1 in 50 who has a white one. And 1 in 200 who decides to be a smartass and wears a kilt or some shit.
And there is a mass audience made up of parents, siblings, teachers, former students, random people etc.

It's really quite fun. In a sort of militaristic way.

Then comes the motorbike riding classes at a highway and the teacher says "First of all, I don't want any of you to ride when you are high".Suddenly, Doomrider pass through while screaming COCAAAAAAAAAINE
Then comes the strategy classes:
Teacher: How do you gain an advantage when you are being rushed by Nids?
Student 1: Use tactical geniu.....
At the school board of directors meeting:
Principal: I propose the idea of using a commissar to enforce discipline on our raw recruits.
Someone: I know a certain someone who might fit that role.His name is commissar Cain.

Someone got any idea what happens next?

>>5478697
But.. then how am I using 4chan?

>>5479014
Eh, why would the Black Templars recuit a comissar when they can just have a few Initiates or a Chaplain do it?

>>5479022

silly rabbit, 4chan is for kids

>>5478877
In finland, prom is srs bizniz

>>5479096
Given the thread on Finnish RPGs, I think it'd be easier to list the things in Finland that AREN'T serious business.

Because Initiates or a Chaplain might not know the word cover and the idea of hiding when being outnumbered and outgunned.Someone else other than a commissar might also fit that role.

>>5479169
-suicide (divided, to some it's srs, to others it's "the fag deserved to die")
-wife beating (Amnesty International keeps complaining about it)
-movies (finnish movies in general are crap and are not to be taken srsly here)
-eurovision (Lordi, lol)

I really can't think of many other things. Well, maybe football.

>>5479186
That's essentaly exactly what the Initiates are supposed to do. Teach the Neophytes how not to die.

Fucking Christ you guys, don't make another retarded comic strip of nerd drama please?

I can't handle all the dumb here

It's not an academic enviroment, it's more the teachings passed down from Knight to Squire.


BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY THE NEOPHYTE TO INITIATE BOND, A SQUIRE AND HIS KNIGHT.

>>5479223
What about Nightwish?

>>5479309
It's srs. The amounts of SRS BIZ that swapping the singer started... oh boy.

>>5479265
More like a robin to his batman

>>5479401
HOLY AWKWARD GAY SEX, BATMAN!

>>5479169
Finland - Serious, bitter dudes in saunas.

>>5479537
Truth.

>>5479537
very true.

>>5479537
And Scriptarius.

>>5479600
Have you noticed how he treats every question in his threads as a serious one?
Yeah...

>>5479616
he said "ask me anything" and he meant it.

>>5479655
Finnish srsness.

>>5479655
Damn right he did. I mean look at his latest thread. I think ti has 4 actual conversion related questions and like 30 unrelated ones.

Initiate Cassius clutched his lectern as he addressed the squad of Neophytes. 'And yet,' he continued, rage burning in his eyes, 'some in the Imperium work against the holy work of mankind, not malevolently as a psyker or a heretic, but because of easier sins to commit.'

Neophyte Petraeus squirmed inside his armour. He knew what was coming. He glanced over at Catiline, but saw not a flicker of emotion in his handsome face. Even the newest squad members from the feral world they had just left were silent, their usual grunting and chanting had ceased.

'These reprehensible souls,' Cassius continued quietly, 'commit sins of omission. And the first among these is... SLOTH!'

Everyone looked at everyone else, except Petraeus, too ashamed to look anyone else in the eye.

'The Emperor has set us all tasks which we must execute! Some are gifted with personal missions, others through the government of the Imperial bureaucracy. When a priest sees a vision of the Emperor, that is no more and no less his command than when a Sergeant orders his squad to attack! Even you recieve orders from the Emperor. And it is one of you who has committed this sin today!' Cassius held up the holo-parchments they had handed in the week before. Essays on the Aspect Warriors of the flithy Eldar. 'One in this squad has cheated in his essay. He has not completed his task. He has cheated the Emperor of toil rightly due him, and he has also cheated himself of the knowledge of these deadly xenos. If, some day, he falls to their hands, it will be his fault alone, for he knew not whereof he thought. I am disgusted with him. His shall be a harsh punishment, but one which shall grieve me, for to see one of my pupils go against the Emperor is the worst betrayal for any Magister.'

He put the essays down and sighed. There were tears running down his battle-scarred face. Then they were boiled away by the fire in his eyes as he roared, 'Not one traitor have we amongst us today, Squad Cassius, but two. For another most deadly sin is that of abetting another sinner. It may have seemed innocent, but the fact remains that another Neophyte lent him an essay to copy. Truly, he who aids a sinner is as repugnant as the crime committed. And now, it is my solemn duty to announce the name of the two Neophytes who have fallen short in their duty. They are Petraeus and Catiline. Please stand, gentlemen.'

The room was silent. Then the creaking of their benches was unnaturally loud as they stood, the rest of the squad goggling at them.

'Why?' asked Cassius. 'Are we not brethren before the Emperor? Do we not all share his tasks? Will we not fight alongside each other in the Crusade? How can you stand against the rest of the Chapter in this way?'

Petraeus felt sick. He stared at the boots of his armour and wished the floor of the teaching cell would open him up. Still he managed to glance over at Catiline. He stood, as noble as ever, standing tall and facing front, undaunted by his punishment.

'Come forward, men,' ordered Cassius. He stepped from behind his lectern, their essays in one hand, the other removing the cover from the table next to it. Revealed was a tall metal cauldron on an antique therm-stone, the water bubbling and boiling ferociously. 'Will you help yourselves, Neophytes? Confess and explain, and I can order you a lighter penance. Which of you lent, and which copied? It is the duty of the Emperor's warriors to seek out sin.'

Petraeus could hold it within him no longer. 'I did it, Initiate,' he cried, 'I copied Catiline's essay. Please don't make him face the ordeal, Initiate, it was all my idea and I'm very sorry and I won't do it again, it's just that I had extra cleaning duty that week and-'

'Petraeus,' said Catiline quietly. 'It's all right. I copied you, and we both know it. My apologies, Initiate. I am ready for my ordeal.'

Cassius frowned. 'Why you have done this, the pair of you, is beyond me. But you have confessed. Very well. Recite the Sinner's Canticles, and then I shall drop your essays in this cauldron. Fetch them out and a Servitor shall bind your scalded flesh. If after three days you are healed, the Emperor will have given you no further punishment. If you are still marked, I will order further penance on his behalf.'

Petraeus gulped, a stone in his throat, as he and Catiline began the familiar syllables of the Sinner's Canticle and Cassius held their holo-parchments over the cauldron.

>>5479600
Thank you. Now I'm imagining Scriptarius in a sauna.

I think I caught the gay.

God damn you /tg/ I am never playing my black templars the same way....

>>5479976

Everyone's gay for Scriptarius, there's no shame in it.

>>5479976
I caught it when he posted a photo of himself topless. Strangely enough it was actually a topic related post.

>>5479904
>>5479921
>>5479951
Awesome writing dude

>>5478716
God Damnit. Why is Doomrider so awesome.

Everyone else is being a fag, meanwhile in the darkness of the school auditorium, FUCKING DOOMRIDER is mainlining acid and EATING HANDFULLS of cocaine.

Fuck. I'm getting a Doomrider tattoo.

>>5479976
IIRC he built a glass-wall sauna in his apartment. In another thread he mentioned using it several times every week.

Enjoy the mental image.

>>5478748

>>5480117
I remember the photo of his sauna
It was fairly cool looking, especialy seeing how he desinged/partialy built it himself.
I wonder if anyone saved those photos of his apartment?

This thread is almost everything wrong with /tg/.

>>5480066
Thanks. I hope the fluff is OK, I'm a bit out of date with 40K.

>>5480051
PIX!
PIX NAO!

>>5480309
Seconded!

While waiting, I shall show some pictures of my own sauna.
Not some queer Swedish or American (sorry, but it's true) warmroom, but a real sauna.

Shower section with lights on.

>>5480334
Turning the camera to the left, a peek into the sweat sanctum itself.

>>5480345
Same angle with ''mood'' lights on.

>>5480351
Inside the sauna, right corner. Notice the upper most tile over the kiuas. There's a picture of a birch tree, but it's hard to see.

>>5480334
>>5480345
>>5480351
Coll sauna, brah
I'd take new pics of mine but as you know our battle brother are stationed in spess- I mean, my camera is broken.

You can see my sauna in the back, it's not huge but has little mood light things in the ceiling. Also as already mentined, full glass front wall.

>>5478748

>>5480367
Closer look on the three tiles. Upper most; The Birch tree, middle; stars and the lowest; deeps of an ocean/abyss.

>>5480367
Oh shit more pics? Love those glass tiles there.
Btw is that thermometer light-up or does it just look like it is?

/tg/ - High School, Saunas, Gayness

>>5480379
Pic from the left corner. Damn the picture's bad, sorry.

>>5480371
Niiiice, shame there's no more pics :,(

>>5480371
>>5480334
In finland, everything is white/blue?

>>5480380
Thermometer's lights are up yep.

I'd go and take moar pictures, but my piece of shit N93 died on me while uploadin the latest pics of my minis.
Trust Finland, Trust Nokia, BULLSHIT.

>>5480394
It gets the job done. You can fit 3 people in it, making it great for a night with friends.
Btw - archway door = pimptastic.
>>5480407
My choise on that was based on the image of lake in the winter. And the finnish flag.
I can be an artsy fag at times, yes.

>>5480407
Well... Yeah when you think of it. During winter the sky is deep blue and the earth is white, whilst during the summer the sky is white with clouds and lakes are blue.

Plus it looks kick ass in a bathroom. I thought about black/white diamond shapes, but nature seemed like a better theme at the time.

>>5478748
THIS IS NOT SERVICE TO THE EMPEROR

>>5480461

HAHA! Admech rituals have revived my camera!
Sauna interior

lol wall

>>5480503
>>5480509
Your camera should get a purity seal by now.

>>5480503
>>5480509

Neat, did you mention earlier about lights, what kind of lights does it have during bathing?

>>5480558
My camera is unable to take good pics in that low light, but it looks something like this, only softer.
It's actually pretty sexy, because if you turn off all the other lights, the glass wall becomes a one-way mirror, making the inside of the sauna seem twice as big.
Sitting there and drinking a glass of wine feels good man.

But guuuuuysss where do the Tyranids fit into all this?

Okay I've held this in long enough and I'm sorry... I just can't keep this welled inside me any longer.

Isn't sauna kinda.. Gay? Inna way? You know, it is a kinda.. weird place to socialice.
Or is it just a cultural thing? Is it like OKAY for all Scandinavians?

>>5480652
Nothing gay about saunas brah. They are 100% non-sexual places (sex in the sauna is rare, at least as far as I know)
In finland, a vihta (essentialy a bunch of leafy birch twigs tied in a bundle) is used in a sauna to (at times rather violently) beat other people in the sauna to promote blood flow and make it smell nice in there.
To the uninitiated it probably looks like a makeshift cat-o-nine tails.
>Pic related. We hit eachother with these in small rooms around 100 degreed centigrade while naked.

The moar you know
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_sauna

>>5480652
In Finland, the average MANLY MAN would probably seem borderline hard gay to some.
Sitting naked in a small room with other men is MANLY. Not gay. Wearing tight pants and piercings is gay. Like, goddamn gay pride faggot gay.

>>5480652
Besides, getting ''It'' on in there is a fucking challenge itself. Halfway the action you're either going to go limb from the exhaustion or pass out.
The More You Know!

>>5480703
I.. uh... I really don't know how to feel about this.
Goddamn that thing looks PAINFUL.

>>5480751
That, and the potential risk of slipping and landing balls first on the hot stones.
The times I tried it, the major probles was indeed getting exhausted from the heat, and the damn sweat to a lesser extent.
Also hard wood isn't really the best thing to have sex on. Although that's more related to the position.

>>5480764
Feels good man.

The only bad thing bout my sauna is the location of my house... Not withing an usable lake to dive into. The fucker's a 200 meters away. During winter it doesn't matter, since there's the snow. But maaan, do I miss my granpa's one. Build to fucking float in the water of Saimaa.

You niggers better remember this thread for when the FFG Space Marine RPG comes out.

I want Maid/Space Marine crossovers aplenty next August.

>>5480810
Sounds bitching.
My summer house has 2 saunas, one inside (large) and one by the lake (small barrel-sauna)
Lake + sauna = massive win.
>>5480764
It doesn't hurt really, unless all the leaves fall off, which is a sign of a bad product anyway.
Honestly you can put some major hitting power into using one of those. It feels awesome.

ITT we pretend that getting naked and sweaty with a bunch of other men, then whipping each other, isn't in the least bit gay.

>>5480879
In Finland, it isn't.
>I think one could make some kind of soviet russia joke here, but that wouldn't really be historicaly accurate

>>5480894
>So there I was, mouth full of some stranger's cock - no, it's not gay, I was in Turku...

ITT - gayness

That's right people, being NAKED in the same room as other NAKED people is ALWAYS sexually themed/oriented happening.

You heard it here first!

>>5480945
In united states of america, nudity sexes you

People complaining about communal showers being gay are closet gays.

Just sayin'. Real men aren't afraid of getting naked.

>>5481007

>accidentally hinted that homosexuals aren't real men.

Man, it's easy to come off as homophobic.

>Isn't sauna kinda.. Gay? Inna way? You know, it is a kinda.. weird place to socialice.
>Or is it just a cultural thing? Is it like OKAY for all Scandinavians?

Ah, don't make me tell ya about those faggot americans who would wear swimming trunks in a public bath in fucking Japan. I mean - there's so much fucking dick around ya that another one just sort of fades into the background.

>>5481007
You should see our bathhouse saunas. NAKED SWEATY WHIPPING. NOW EN MASSE.

ITT the gay agenda is proven real as they 'come out' in support of wedge issues like all-male naked sweaty whipping.

ITT finland scares away foreigners so they can be bitter amongst themselves

>>5481084
Naked, sweaty and bitter.

>>5481097
and serious

High School -> gayness -> high school -> finland -> saunas -> gayness
Only on /tg/ - Truly General

>>5481049
Excuse me who ever said it was ALL-MALE?
Whe have sweaty naked girls in here too to whip.

>>5481345
And how.

Finland, Finland, Finland, the counthry where I want to be...

Finland is the country for me

>>5477994
>No girls and the all relationships are platonic.
Are you talking about saunas?

>>5481371
No homo.