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    • File : 1252018731.gif-(15 KB, 490x1508, interrupted.gif)
    15 KB Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)18:58 No.5712119  
    Somewhat old news, but I'm not sure if /tg/ is aware:
    >>The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.
    >>SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.
    >>The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.
    >>One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.
    >>The city has also employed monkey catchers to round them up so they can be moved to forests.
    >>But the problem has persisted.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7055625.stm

    INDIA IS WHERE ALL THE DWARVES ARE LIVING. WE ALREADY KNOW THAT THEY'RE HARD WORKING FOLK WITH THICK BEARDS AND A FUNNY ACCENT. THIS CINCHES IT.

    Also, general Dorf Fortress thread.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:01 No.5712144
    Damn, son.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:02 No.5712160
    >>5712119
    i lol'd, india will never be the same for me
    >> Arcbound 09/03/09(Thu)19:04 No.5712173
    >>5712119
    I'll accept it when I hear them dying from carp attacks.
    >> That one guy from Texas !!3GgUvHS8Soj 09/03/09(Thu)19:05 No.5712187
    >>5712173
    They have Hippo's and Elephants
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:06 No.5712195
    I have a plan.

    1) Evacuate Delhi.
    2) Mustard gas the city.
    3) Return when air is safe.
    4) ???
    5) Eat monkey steak.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:07 No.5712203
    >>5712195
    >>I have a plan.

    >>1) Evacuate Delhi.
    >>2) MAGMA the city.
    >>3) Return when ground is cool.
    >>4) ???
    >>5) Eat monkey steak.

    Slightly fixed.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:09 No.5712225
    It's not populated by Dwarves.

    I haven't heard of a SINGLE sari that menaces with spikes of tourmaline and monkey leather.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:09 No.5712229
    >>5712173
    This close enough?

    http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?_r=1&res=950CE4DA123AE033A25757C1A9629C94689FD7CF
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:14 No.5712300
    HOLY FUCK OP THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT EVER. FUCK ME.

    I posted it on the bay12 forums first! Excellent.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:24 No.5712398
         File1252020263.png-(222 KB, 384x288, Bart_the_Mother.png)
    222 KB
    >One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

    Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
    Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
    Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
    Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
    Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
    Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
    Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:27 No.5712438
    >>5712173
    They aren't dying from carp because the carp are invading North America. Link related.

    http://www.southernstudies.org/2006/03/beware-deadly-carp.html
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:34 No.5712522
    >>5712438

    Well, shit.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:39 No.5712592
    >>5712300
    >>I posted it on the bay12 forums first! Excellent.

    Now why didn't I think of that?
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)19:58 No.5712844
    INCREASE TRAP PRODUCTION
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:17 No.5713046
    Holy shit OP, it all makes sense now.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:18 No.5713062
    >>5713046

    If Indians are dwarves, then who are the elves?
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:20 No.5713077
    >>5713062
    Pakistanis.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:20 No.5713087
         File1252023652.jpg-(67 KB, 575x431, seattle_times_elf_al_qaeda.jpg)
    67 KB
    >>5713062
    The Earth Liberation Front, duh. It even abbreviates to ELF for crying out loud.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:21 No.5713098
    >>5713087

    ...now this REALLY makes sense.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:22 No.5713115
         File1252023774.jpg-(187 KB, 1024x768, Lahore, Pakistan.jpg)
    187 KB
    >>5713077
    Dude, they're obviously goblins. Do elves build fucking Dark Fortresses? I don't think so. Get your shit straight.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:28 No.5713194
    How easy is it to mod DF? I want to make my dwarves into Indians, my elves into ELF members, and my goblins into Pakis.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:32 No.5713239
    >>5712398
    Lol that was exactly what I was thinking
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:35 No.5713281
    >>5713194
    Most of the relevant files are clear enough, you can check the wiki for help with the tags and things you can't find yourself. If you can read it'll be pretty simple.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:37 No.5713304
    >>5713194

    The Bronze Colossus can be Chinese tanks.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:39 No.5713323
    >>5713281

    Okay, I'll give it a shot.
    >> Cotton Eyed Joe !s5rR18z5kQ 09/03/09(Thu)20:39 No.5713335
    >>5713304
    dragons? giant skeletal eagles?
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:44 No.5713376
    >>5713335

    Bombers and ground attack aircraft.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:45 No.5713394
    Make sure you give all the tanks and shit the maximum grasstrample value.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:47 No.5713424
    >>5713376
    DF dragons don't actually fly, CAW (code as written); it's an easy thing to mod in, though.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:51 No.5713466
    >>5713424
    I haven't had a dragon attack yet. Good to know.

    But if they don't fly, perhaps a heavier tank, or have the lesser threat be an APC?
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:55 No.5713522
         File1252025753.jpg-(77 KB, 598x900, SikhMan01.jpg)
    77 KB
    >>5712119
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)20:59 No.5713573
    >>5713522

    IT'S A DWARF, LADDIES.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)21:08 No.5713682
    >>5713522
    A TRUE DWARF ATTACKS PAKISTAN.
    >> Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)21:37 No.5714026
    Bumping this discovery for the night crowd. Beware the monkeys, battle the carp, PULL THE LEVER.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:20 No.5716072
    AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:25 No.5716134
    Fellow fa/tg/uys, I believe it's time we began the migration. East! To the land of the dwarves!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:27 No.5716164
         File1252038472.jpg-(809 KB, 1440x1388, India_Geographic_Map.jpg)
    809 KB
    Where should we strike the earth?
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:33 No.5716219
    >>5716164
    In the Hindu Kush obviously
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:35 No.5716256
    Train bigger monkeys to eat the smaller monkeys? That's dwarfy.

    NOTHING COULD GO WRONG WITH THIS PLAN
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:36 No.5716264
    >>5716256
    Well we had to bring in the tigers, to kill the big monkeys.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:48 No.5716423
    >>5716264
    As long as you don't bring in hippos for the tigers.
    You... didn't do that, right?
    Right?
    Oh shit.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:55 No.5716511
         File1252040128.jpg-(94 KB, 425x638, Elephant-riding.jpg)
    94 KB
    >>5716423

    Now the dwarves are keeping elephants as pets... fuck.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:57 No.5716539
    >>5716164

    To the mountains! Such delightfully large mountains! Surely there will be glowing pits somewhere in there!
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)00:58 No.5716548
    >>5712173

    This actually does happen. There's a type of huge carp in the Ganges, or whatever their huge-ass sacred river is, that has apparently gotten used to the taste of people and grown unusually large due to eating the remains from funerals. Seriously. They attack and drag people under.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)01:00 No.5716574
    >>5716548
    It's settled. India is Dwarfistan.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)01:06 No.5716649
    >>5716548

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/weird/article1784470.ece

    Not technically a carp, but seriously close enough.
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)01:07 No.5716663
    >>5712119
    Fortune: You will have sex tomorrow.
    > Save the English language on the Internet: www.аnоnтаㄥк.com/ICARE
    >> Anonymous 09/04/09(Fri)01:07 No.5716665
    Mind = blown.

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