in b4 smoke monster

...You're in for a long night bro.

writing in the and is not the best way to keep memos.
how symbolic~

Liches are bad. Evil.
ARE YOU A PALADIN?

Forgotten Realms continues to baffle me...
I keep reading things about how Cyric kicked everyones ass and killed Gods and etc.
How is this possible? He was mortal, why are the gods so weak?
I also read that I think it was Helm or Torm was killed by a demonic invasion on Celestia? What the fuck, how does that happen?

"I really wish I'd taken some levels in wizard like my father..I'm not sure how to blackguard my way outta this one, damnit."

Last we left Kiara Blackfist, a certain insufferable obnoxious Lich had banished her to a neutral plane of tropical islands. So Smar/tg/uys, lets help our girl have an epiphany on how to get off this plane.

>>6977404
Yes. YES. YESSSSSSS.

>>6977404
Get a full sleep.
Check spells.

>>6977392
Helm had better not be fucking dead.

>>6977392

How does a god die? Simple: Asmodeus is hardcore like that.

>>6977415
>>6977413
>>6977408
am i, missing something here?

This is interesting.

>So Smar/tg/uys, lets help our girl have an epiphany on how to get off this plane.

Nonstop violent masturbation.

>>6977392
>how does that happen?
it's called, "huuur im so clevah i shit gods in mah history! duuur"

or something like that

>>6977392
Cyric had a fuckpowerful sword that was actually the god Mask, I think.

>>6977404
Must Drew really die? I mean, throwing you to starve to death in a neutral plane seems evil.

I don't think the Lich would banish any hot ladies to a realm of bikini weather, without having a way to check in on them and spy all creepy undead pervert like.

>>6977334
OMG Is Drew back!?

>>6977404
break a branch from a palm tree.
sharpen into a shiv.
sharpen some more.
swing it so hard, it cuts a hole in the dimension.
enter. see what happens.

>>6977404
Find a metallic cube that unfolds into a modron, then extend the left wing, extend the right wind, rotate the right arm.

Trust me, this always works.

This night just took a turn for the awesome.

>>6977468
Then get back in your police call box, and let your dismembered hand steer?

>>6977404
>>6977334
You level a sword at the undisputed ruler of the world... and dont expect something BAD to happen?

>>6977404
What powers does she have at her disposal?

>>6977487
*Poof*

oh, shit. is this thread going where I think it's going?

>>6977392
Time of Troubles. For a few weeks all of the gods became mortal and everyone's shit got fucked up because Ao threw a hissyfit over something or another. It was decently logical that some of the gods died given the circumstances.

ok fa/tg/uys let's put our heads together. Kira is a Blackguard of Bane right? And Drew killed him, so who would Bane's Blackguards follow and draw power from now?

WILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

WIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

All the gods got kicked down to mortal status during the Time of Troubles. When a few of them died, a few mortals were able to up themselves to god status. Mystra and Cyric quickly rose to very very powerful status, mostly because they took the portfolios of really used gods (magic, for instance). I believe he also took the domain of Deceit. In the end it's huge Mary Suedom, but explained partially with the concept that, as a mortal he brought some freshness to the pantheon, so he had a lot of ambition and new ideas that the old gods, set in their ways, did not and weren't as able to prepare against. Plus when he -was- a god, Bane, Bhaal and Myrkul were all dead, allowing him to reign around near unopposed as head of evil gods.

>>6977565
Ironically, it's likely Drew.

>>6977565

Elemental LE? Devils? Hextor The Pimp God?

>>6977343
>>6977344
>>6977358
>>6977379
niggas dont know bout my DREW

>>6977586
Yeah, I dont think that's going to be an acceptable answer.
Any similar gods a Blackguard could convert to rather rapidly?

>>6977565
Well, who is there to draw power from? I like the idea of her getting it from Drew.

>>6977453
>>6977413

Kiara's spells, along with one very sharp palm frond.

>>6977611
Not to you know, intrude or anything, but did you cut yourself when you were making that frond?

don't you tease me! don't you fucking tease me!

>>6977597
i only came to /tg/ as ruby quest was ending. i remember the first "amazing thread" i witnessed was "uzgob rokkit ranger".
im afraid this was probably before i came.

Wait, is Asmodeus an option for power here?

And what the fuck is a "Drew" anyway?

>>6977579
To be fair, Cyric gets cut down to size very, very quickly. But it was definitely Mary Sue-ish to begin with, having read the relevant novels. The ease with which Cyric just kind of yoinks three gods' shit was fucking stupid even when I read it in early highschool.

>>6977611
Any chance of summoning monster and then hitching a ride on it's way back to wherever?

>>6977611
I can only imagine the depths of Kira's RAAAAAGGGGEEEE.

Which God would find that "RIPNTEAR" not only acceptable in a follower, but attractive?

Summon monster.

Fuck monster.

>>6977662
evil [CHARNAME] after ascending to the throne of Bhaal?

>>6977611
Summon Monster 4? Hell yes! That let's her summon 1d3 Dretchs, which can each attempt to summon a greater demon with a 35% chance of success each. It might take a few tries, but once you've got the ear of a being with enough power to get you can bargain with it.

>>6977659

summoning does not work that way

>>6977685
This sounds like a good idea.

>>6977685
This guy's on to something.

>>6977648
>>6977648
>And what the fuck is a "Drew" anyway?

>>6977685
GO FOR IT.

>>6977685
Gah, just read it again, they can only summon other dretchs. Crap.

>>6977611
Shenanigans with Summon Monster IV are likely the way to go. Either some screwy way to banish ourselves, ride the summon spell elsewhere, or go back with the summon when it leaves. Somehow. Not like we don't have time and motivation to try try again.
Or maybe summon something that we can bargain with so that it might help us return, if only by informing any allies we might have. we're LE, right? Might be some form of structure back home to help out.

>>6977714

Summon Dretchs.

Have the Dretchs summon more dretchs.

Summon SO MANY DRETCHS that the very fabric of the reality she's in begins to warp and tear.

????

PROFIT!

>>6977735
Or just make a boat out of them.

Drew's back!?

Well, Kiara, but close enough.

This has officially made my night.

I love you.

>>6977714
Maybe they can do some ritual with more than 1 dretch to get a more powerful demon? Not in the rules, but if OP is willing to stretch it a bit...

>>6977742

Well, that would work, I suppose...but Drew transported her to an entirely different plane of existence. For all we know, that island is the only bit of land in the entire dimension. It wouldn't really help much.

>>6977735
>>6977742
Dretchboat?

>>6977648
>>6977697
These thread titles are in no way official, just a handy way of reminding myself which is which.

The Original Drew the Lich
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1092796/

Drew Reloaded
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1098288

Drew: and the Abandoned Keep
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3136974

The Continuing adventures!
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3144112/

Drew and the Merchant Rescue or: These are not the Bards we're looking for
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4725435/


Plots of the Lich: World Domination Tour Part 1
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4748469/

Plots of the Lich: World Domination Tour Part 2
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4750158/

>>6977627
Of course not!

>>6977724
>>6977753
"Hmm, this might be worth a shot, I've got nothing better to do."

>>6977735
summon enough Dretches to create a singularity and hope it tosses you out onto the material plane?

>>6977742
>>6977735
You guys do know that those summoning abilities they have don't work when they themselves are the summoned ones, right? On at least most of them, at least.
If you gated them in somehow, but eh.

Also, I guess we could try to get that free wish for knowing who Pazuzu is. A blackguard has knowledge religion, or probably does.

I don't know how to get off the Plane of Beautiful Tropical Islands, but like my momma always told me: "Nothing helps you think like having hot, wild, lesbian sex with a bunch of drop-dead gorgeous native island girls."

SO... you know. Maybe better get crackin' on that if you ever wanna escape.

Well, she could always try worshipping me. I'm a master of time, after all, I don't see why I couldn't break into some measly little pocket dimension.

>>6977813
Just checkin' Makin' sure a strong woman such as yourself didn't do anything to hurt yourself in such a precarious position.

Now, when you summon these Dretches, and they start summoning. Hide the food, the clothes, and always carry your sword and armor with you. Who knows what will show up, and if anything, you might just get a party boat of dreches.

wait, isnt this drews friend? the girl? ive only just read the first thread. why does she want him dead?

>this thread

YEAAAAAAAAAAH

>>6977821
Shit, you're right. Well, we can still get 1d3 dretchs from SM 4.

Also, the dead bodies go away once the spell duration is over. No boat.

>>6977843

Well, explaining the story here would be a disservice to Drew.

>>6977793
This guy posted a link to all of the threads. You might want to take a look at them.

>>6977821
OP here, elaborate on this.

>>6977843
Things ... didn't work out.

>>6977876
Pazuzu is the king of Demons in babylonian mythology. I guess you get a free wish if you know him or something. Like Rumpelstiltskin but possibly less evil.

SHUT UP ABOUT FORGOTTEN REALMS HISTORY YOU FUCKERS, IT'S DREW THE MOTHERFUCKING LICH

>>6977876
To put a plug in the loophole of infinite summons, Summons cannot summon more summons. Only Monsters with the spell like ability can do that, and their summons still cannot spam summons.

I, Tech Priest Naile, do hereby approve of this thread. Please, continue.

>>6977915
The second part of this statement, is irrelevant, due to redundancy. Just take the first part and roll.

Well, if no one else has any suggestion, let's try for some dretchs and see if they can get some sort of demon ritual going. If she can make contact with a more powerful entity, then she can strike a deal with it, not need to actually bring the being to her for the negotiations.

So, summon something that we can try to bargain with so that it will do a favor for us once it returns to its home plane, or shenanigans with the summoning spell itself.
Or off the wall things with knowledge checks (Pazuzu, transportation keys, etc).
Also, safe to assume that by now we've throroughly explored the area? What's around us?

>>6978064
seconded.

Hmmm... quite a predicament. Last time I was stuck on this plane I chilled for a week before using my dimensional anchor.... check if the hole it left is still there maybe?

rolled 3 = 3

kill monsters on this island until you level up enough to learn Plane Shift?

"Yeah okay so this wasn't my brightest moment. But whatever, back to the drawing board."

>>6978081
"Maybe I could try..asking him."
Also, for whats around us, Aku is right. Its pretty much this.
>>6977766
Just an island with coconut trees, emerald seas and no real life beyond that.

>>6978153
Well the thing about dretchs is... They communicate with telepathy. And you need to be able to speak Abyssal for it to work. But I'm sure a Blackguard of her power would know at least a few words in the demonic tongue.

So sure, ask if it knows anyone who would be willing to talk and make a deal.

rolled 1 = 1

>>6978153
...Maybe. Just maybe, you can be so evil. So vile, that the plane of neutrality would simply object you being there, and eject you itself?

Why do these threads always happen on nights when I have to get up early the next morning?

>>6978212
Night time /tg/.
Also thanks for the 'quest' so far OP, the color images are a real treat for the eyes

Start sleep depriving yourself and try to reach a state of extreme hallucination.
Convince yourself you were a cleric of Bane instead of a paladin.
Hope the laws of the universe send you cleric spells because you gain your power from belief.

>>6978153
Asking who?

>>6978153
Secretly pine for Drew and hope he takes you back.

You know, while nobody is looking.

>>6978153
Oh shit, what happened to your father? Did he get left behind?

cant we just make a raft out of wood? there are plenty of trees guys.
stock up on coconut, unless these monsters we are summoning are.... remotely edible? they dont look it....
either way, take the raft and strike out. there must be a portal/gate or something somewhere.
we need to make up with drew.

>>6978153
... What kind of adventurer are you! Where be your magical fix all items? Howsabout you start chopping down trees? Build a raft? Try and make it proofed for dimension hopping.

>>6978282
There is nothing on the plane of existence but this one island and the ocean.

Kill yourself. When your tainted spirit reaches its destination topple the master of that dark place. From your black throne, lash together a machine of blood and bone, and fueled by your hated for Drew use that Fear Engine to bore a hole between that plane and the prime material.

>>6978408
Isn't that the plot to Oblivion?

Sweet deal, I get to read a Drew thread without drawing it.

>>6978418
pic related

>>6978428
Wha-
Ho...
...
DREW. YOU JUST BROKE THE FOURTH. MAYBE FIFTH OR SIXTH WALL.

>>6978428
Holy shit
Whaaaaaa

I thought you drew all this...

>>6978428
Soooooooooo... any plans to help her out? Or rehabilitate her?

>Drew and Blackfist

>>6978428
Hey broski, how's it hanging?

<abyssal> "I will be frank whelp, I want to talk to someone with power. Now."

== die before talk to big demons! Die first! Kill grok, kill him, no talk to demons! == </abyssal>

Lore check success: Dretches’ fear of their greater kin is stronger then even their fear of death.

"Well fuck."

>>6978560
So kill it.

>>6978560
Well. Go on and go through with your word. Fear of greater demons is one thing, but they aren't here, and you are. Gotta make 'em learn somehow.

Once your done, it's time to make shelter, crack a few coconuts open, and plan on new things.

>>6978560
>"Well fuck."

My thoughts exactly. Shit, it's not like you're sending them to fight, just communicate. Oh well, maybe if you keep summoning and killing them after telling them your demands, the word will get around that there is a powerful Blackguard looking to talk to a demon with some influence/power.

Maybe we should rely on religious conviction and just pray or something and commune with a deity who may be sympathetic or could benefit from someone trying to kill Drew?

>>6978560
Kick it in the gonads. Or promise sexual favors in return for him helping. (Thank god summons don't last long.)

technically, you can't kill summoned beings. they are returned to their home plane when they reach 0 hp.

>>6978560
Cast Cause Fear so that it's more afraid of you than the big demons?

>>6978428

Wha-ha-hat is this? I get to participate in a thread of Drew? What luck!

>>6978664
Actually, it's Kiara's thread. She's one fine lady.

>>6978794

Well, yes, I suppose you are right. Kiara is a fine subject for a thread.

>>6978428

OHFUCK ITS DREW

HI DREW

HIIIIIIIIIIIII~

rolled 1 = 1

>>6978810
So...How's the kid?

>>6978604
>>6978615
(went with these)
"So theres gotta be atleast one fucker out there that wants Drew dead...Hey deities! How about a sign? Something? One very effective blackguard for hire, all it requires is a onetime fee of revenge!

sigh..

Lonely.."

rolled 4 = 4

>>6978898
...Xom?

>>6978898
Goddamnit, not even Gruumsh. Man.

>>6978898
Didn't Drew send you here to reflect on yourself? Maybe if you pretend to have changed, he'll pull you out. And then you can kill him. Or heck, even actually be sincere and change for the better.

>>6978898

1. kill yourself
2. got to what ever dark horrible place you're going to go
3. conquer it
4. gain immense power
5. fuck up drew's shit

why wait for the middle man? Ask a GOD for help? Take what you want! Drew did it and you're way tougher than Drew. Or are you?

You probably aren't. In fact forget I said anything. Just stay on your island forever. Its safe since Drew can't get to you. I'm mean you are afraid of him right?

>>6978959
Oh snap!

Anyhow, I should probably clarify. The original Drew thread had me drawing for Drew and Kiara for the character Kiara. Later, it was a one-man show. When we namefag (we do a lotta anonymous drawfagging on the side), I always namefag as Drew and her as Kiara/Blackfist, the characters we're known for. We are actually two different individuals.

Or are we?

Nah, just messin'. We are.

>>6978898
Hes a Lich, maybe you should appeal to the Raven queen. End his unnatural life.
Bonus points for being on a neutral plane of existence and trying to commune with a neutral diety.

"Kiara, my gods do you know how fucking huge this island is? I've been searrrching forrr you forrr months! RRRegardless! I've got an escape plan!"

"Dad--? Wha? Fuck GET OFF!"

"I can't kill you if I'm not clawing you dear."

>>6977404
W-wh-

wait. DREW?

>>6978898
Hey, what about Kord?
Isn't he, you know, a god of war or something?

rolled 5 = 5

>>6979065
Oh dues Ex. How could I forget about you! (No offense Kiara or Kiara's father.)

Last time I saw Drew, he was still trying to WIN BACK Kiara.
Where can I go to catch up?

>>6979065
... what the fuck? So we're going with "Kill our-self in the hopes that our spirit can take over the realm of a god"?

I mean, Drew won vs Bane because he brought other gods and powerful creatures that wanted Bane done with, he didn't do it on his own.

>>6978959
goddamnit read the thread.

you were beat by:
>>6978408
>>6978443

The Chronicles of Drew the Lich really aught to be written with related pics, somewhere, at this point. Eights threads of epic win is cumbersome to read.

Somebody archive this, it's almost midnight here.

"Are you..sure this is going to work dad? Because I mean this isn't really.. I mean suicide is kinda.."

"Well in theory, it shou--"

"Excuse me, but this seemed like awful waste of excellent talent."

"Now miss, put that sword down. Lords know, Nerull won't even give your sob story the time of day, but me. Well. You and me, we go back, don't we Kiara? I heard your plea."

THUS CONCLUDES PART ONE OF THIS because fuck I'm tired. continued tomorrow or friday depending on my time schedule.

>>6979339
Why do I get such a bad feeling about this.
This could either go so right or so horribly wrong.

REPENT! GIVE UP YOUR EVIL WAYS YOU DUMB WHORE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK GOT YOU SENT THERE ANYWAY?

OR HELL DON'T REPENT. JUST DO WHAT DREW DID AND STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ALIGNMENT. YOU'RE TSUNDERE FOR THE DUMB BASTARD. JUST GO JUMP HIS UNDEAD BONES.

>>6979388
Oh god, who is it? YOU HAD BETTER BE BACK DAMN IT!

>>6979388
Could it be that guy who blackmailed her into being his maid waaaaaaaay back when?

>>6979388
Why it's award-winning character actor Michael Douglas!

Wait, not it's not.

>>6979494
No, because Drew glues VaunBraum's head on upside down.

You know... if you stop and think about it...
Drew has done everything Kiara told him to.
She said that being evil is all about doing things for yourself and not caring about others. Though his methods may have seemed otherwise, everything Drew did was to gain power for himself.
Drew is now in a position of Ultimate selfish power. Kiara should be getting wet for him, not wanting to kill him.