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  • File : 1260665286.jpg-(42 KB, 500x334, biggestzombielarpplease.jpg)
    42 KB You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:48 No.7106332  
    one Latvian town is on sale for some 323 thousand dollars…
    You can pay by instalments for ten years for a small town with 70 different houses and buildings, among which there are ten residential buildings with 551 apartments, hotel, clinic, hospital, kindergarten, club, post office, boiler house, water tower, garages plus underground bunkers and shelters in case of nuclear war.
    The authorities of Latvia decided to take this step because of the hard consequences of the global financial crisis.
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:48 No.7106344
         File1260665334.jpg-(35 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_02.jpg)
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    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:49 No.7106352
         File1260665378.jpg-(43 KB, 500x362, town_on_sale_04.jpg)
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    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:50 No.7106360
         File1260665416.jpg-(22 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_09.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:50 No.7106364
    >>7106332
    1) get a metric fuckton of paintballs w/accessories
    2) get extras with zombie makeup
    3) ship out fa/tg/uys to town
    4) ???
    5) ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE LARP
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:52 No.7106385
         File1260665546.jpg-(35 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_17.jpg)
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    >>7106364
    You can't deny it
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:52 No.7106388
         File1260665569.jpg-(160 KB, 801x1024, DoctorDoom.jpg)
    160 KB
    This is relevant to my interests. Please continue.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:53 No.7106394
         File1260665603.jpg-(55 KB, 442x350, doc doom.jpg)
    55 KB
    BUY TOWN
    RENAME TO LATVERIA
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:54 No.7106406
         File1260665658.jpg-(34 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_20.jpg)
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    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:55 No.7106414
         File1260665702.jpg-(30 KB, 500x362, town_on_sale_22.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:55 No.7106418
         File1260665719.jpg-(64 KB, 418x466, 1253652226165.jpg)
    64 KB
    Is it abandoned? Is it functional? Are the basic utilities intact (water, electricity, sewers)?
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:55 No.7106421
         File1260665733.jpg-(18 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_23.jpg)
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    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:56 No.7106426
         File1260665774.jpg-(28 KB, 500x361, town_on_sale_30.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:58 No.7106444
    >>7106418
    looks pretty abandoned brah
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)19:59 No.7106461
         File1260665959.jpg-(36 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_31.jpg)
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    >>7106426
    note the power lines, this town was build to be fully functional but was abandoned because lolpoor. That tower seems like watertower. So one would assume there is water and adequate plumbing to each house. But I'd watch for leaks, and you are bound to have so many in something that hasn't had water flowing through it for a while.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)19:59 No.7106465
    oh man, i hope i win the lottery tomorrow or something
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:01 No.7106487
    rolled 1, 2, 1 = 4

    Good lord. We can own both a missile silo and an entire town, and we only need three-quarters of a million dollars. Supervillians unite! A fundraiser that's actually worth it.
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)20:01 No.7106490
         File1260666089.jpg-(39 KB, 500x363, town_on_sale_34.jpg)
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    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)20:02 No.7106500
         File1260666133.jpg-(45 KB, 500x375, town_on_sale_35.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:03 No.7106509
    http://izismile.com/2009/12/11/the_whole_town_is_on_sale_in_latvia_36_pics.html
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:03 No.7106515
    Look /tg/, I am pretty sure that between us all we can get enough money together to buy this place and make it glorious. The only thing to do then... is to make a real life Dorf Fortress.
    >> You want it 12/12/09(Sat)20:04 No.7106523
         File1260666242.jpg-(26 KB, 500x344, town_on_sale_36.jpg)
    26 KB
    Aww shit, there are actually people living there :/
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:04 No.7106526
    rolled 3, 6, 4 = 13

    >>7106515
    Why would we need a town for a Dwarf Fort?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:04 No.7106531
    >>7106515
    Fuck. I hope there's no river nearby!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:05 No.7106535
    plus 2 helicopters and a few 100 extras

    lifesize city scenario wargaming.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:05 No.7106544
    /tg/ STOP SPENDING on 40k NOW!

    Save up and let us purchase this. Imagine a town of nothing but neckbeards. LARPs, D&D, 40k, Necromunda, vidya. A glorious day awaits us!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:05 No.7106545
    >>7106526
    I am assuming that we would be buying the land, designate a downward stairway and we can start making a glorious city... underground!
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/12/09(Sat)20:06 No.7106550
    >>7106332
    find 175 people who would all send you 2k. some you can convince to live there, some you can scam out of it, some you can play like it's a time share program. You can collect the money over the course of 10 years of course, and this town can be your's.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:07 No.7106568
    rolled 1, 1, 1 = 3

    >>7106544
    I imagined it. Then I vomited.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:08 No.7106575
    only 2691,66.. per month!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:09 No.7106589
    /tg/ town...
    Also what country is this?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:10 No.7106595
    >>7106589
    Latvia, read op's post
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:11 No.7106619
    >>7106332

    323k? That's less than my fucking HOUSE.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:13 No.7106630
    >>7106619

    So when you get down to it, it's a steal!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:13 No.7106635
    You are now imagining /tg/ turning this town into the greatest goddamn mecca of gaming known to man.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:13 No.7106636
    rolled 4, 3, 2 = 9

    >>7106619
    Welcome to Tiny, Insignificant Country #23.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:14 No.7106640
    >>7106630
    It is also in the middle of fucking latvia.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 12/12/09(Sat)20:14 No.7106641
    Nobody cares about Latvia.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:15 No.7106654
    >You are now imagining /tg/ turning this town into the greatest goddamn mecca of gaming known to man.

    I'd be good for 5-10%, but I bet none of the rest of you paupers could contribute anything, or you wouldn't be hanging out here.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:15 No.7106657
    rolled 3, 2, 1 = 6

    >>7106635
    All I can see is a dozen fa/tg/uys Canceling Maintain Infrastructure: Interrupted By Bear.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:18 No.7106681
    I have a £1000 bursary coming in March, fuck university, lets roll.
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/12/09(Sat)20:19 No.7106711
    >>/v/
    >no internet? fuck that.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:20 No.7106716
    >>7106657
    I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:20 No.7106719
    >>7106641

    Perfect, that means no one will notice.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:22 No.7106733
    I would worry about food though. How do you reckon we can stay self sufficient?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:23 No.7106746
    ...so what's the catch? Zombies? Werewolves? Lack of stable internet connections?
    >> loladept !!ezyv3PIu+MM 12/12/09(Sat)20:23 No.7106747
    I WILL GET THE SCRILL FOR THIS SHIT.

    Who wants to cyberpunk/ post-apoc LARP for months at a time?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:24 No.7106758
    >>7106733
    Plump Helms and Ale.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:24 No.7106767
    >>7106526
    You never undermined a whole human town?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:25 No.7106786
    The biggest long-term problem with this plan is that we'll have to found a society completely repulsive to women while still managing to reproduce.

    And before you say RAEP remember that you're all too out of shape to escape your mom's basement, nevermind chase down tough-as-shit 2nd world Slavic girls.

    So that only leaves SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:26 No.7106789
         File1260667570.jpg-(147 KB, 1069x610, 1252849954803.jpg)
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    >>7106747
    It'd actually give me an excuse to not shower for up to a week at a time.

    I'd be in character!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:26 No.7106792
         File1260667597.jpg-(162 KB, 500x444, 3308850843_dd3183049a.jpg)
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    >>7106733
    What's the climate like in Latvia? Clearly it snows; was the town abandoned because you can't even grow food there?
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:26 No.7106796
    rolled 5, 3, 5 = 13

    >>7106767
    I have. But if we're going to do so, why do we need to buy the town in the first place?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:28 No.7106824
    >>7106733
    Trade, Its not like we're n the fucking middle ages

    You are now imagining a fa/tg/uy at the UN

    >>7106747
    Sounds cool, Where do you stand on the whole "Play your own gender" Rule for LARPS?
    >> loladept !!ezyv3PIu+MM 12/12/09(Sat)20:29 No.7106831
    >>7106523

    The large structure in the back there would be called "the hive" the dudes in haz-mat uniforms with p-90's would live in there
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:29 No.7106833
    >>7106792
    Northern Europe, Obviously everyone is going to have to create with the Arctic subtype
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:31 No.7106854
    >>7106824
    >Where do you stand on the whole "Play your own gender" Rule for LARPS?

    If they're cute enough to pass off as female, so be it.

    Trap or not, a 'female' face is always nice to have around.. Although the prospect might turn a few ho/tg/ents into cock hungry lunatics.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:31 No.7106855
         File1260667898.jpg-(70 KB, 640x553, 633504767147376904-bear-cavalr(...).jpg)
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    >>7106657

    This will be our BBEG.
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/12/09(Sat)20:31 No.7106860
    you could probably talk some small film company into it as a primo filming location. Hell, it would likely be WELL within a low budget film's capitol.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:33 No.7106877
    rolled 4, 1, 5 = 10

    >>7106855
    Dear God. We better invite /k/.

    >>7106860
    District 10?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:34 No.7106882
    >>7106860
    Especially since it's cheaper for European film studios to fly to Latvia than fucking New Zealand. I like it.

    So, legal question: I assume that, while we get the property, we are still a part of Latvia? Because they don't fucking sell soverignty at prices that low, not even for acre-wide islands that disappear entirely at high-tide.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:36 No.7106909
    >>7106882

    Might not be a bad thing for /tg/.

    "The age of consent in Latvia is 16. Sexual activities that do not involve vaginal intercourse can occur from age 14 (including same sex acts). "
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:38 No.7106938
    >>7106909
    Because it's the age of consent laws that are causing us all to remain virgins, am I rite?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:39 No.7106957
    >>7106746
    My guess? Doctor Doom.
    >> stripedog !99w4lZplhU 12/12/09(Sat)20:40 No.7106969
    hell, you could probably sell the idea of making a documentary about LARPers and set it up in that town, find an airline that would fly in people cheap, and hold the world's largest LARP as the backdrop. Hook up some cheap catering, and bam! Free country!
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:41 No.7106979
    rolled 4, 4, 3 = 11

    Area
    - Total 64,589 km2 (124th)
    - (24,938 sq mi)
    - Water (%) 1.57% (1,014 km2)
    Population
    - July 2009 estimate 2,231,503 [2] (143rd)
    - 2000 ppl census 2,377,383
    - Density 34.4/km2 (166th)
    - (89.3/sq mi)
    GDP (PPP) 2009 estimate
    - Total $32.346 billion[3] (92nd)
    - Per capita $14,304[3] (51st)
    GDP (nominal) 2009 estimate
    - Total $24.198 billion[3] (80th)
    - Per capita $10,700[3] (45th)
    Official languages: Latvian
    Ethnic groups: 59.2% Latvians
    28.0% Russians
    3.7% Belarusians
    2.5% Ukrainians
    6.6% others
    Government: Parliamentary republic
    - President: Valdis Zatlers
    - Prime Minister: Valdis Dombrovskis
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:41 No.7106988
    Seriously guys, maybe not this site, but if we're ever going to purchase some land to strike the earth, we're never going to get better deals than now. Thanks to the global housing market crash and recession, prices about as low as we could expect.

    Fuck, I bet we could easily buy, like, an entire section of Detroit, but then we'd have to live in fucking Detroit.

    Any other promising sites, prospectors?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:43 No.7107020
    >>7106854
    You know there are -some- females who like /tg/ related things
    Just hire some of those girls who play tavern wenches at LARPS
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:45 No.7107042
    >>7106979
    If we buy the land do we get the people as well?

    I want to play an epic level knight, For an evil lord that slaughters commoners
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:46 No.7107063
    rolled 2, 3, 1 = 6

    >>7106988
    http://www.texasescapes.com/TexasGhostTowns/Ghost-Towns-for-Sale.htm

    We could do the Texas thing.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:46 No.7107065
    >>7107020 hire
    After spending a third of a million on the town you think we're going to have money left over for wench fees?
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:48 No.7107085
    rolled 3, 4, 5 = 12

    >>7107065
    Presuming that we also have enough for food and other necessities.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:50 No.7107109
    >>7107085
    Well we could possibly start it as a Nonprofit organization
    Dedicated to [insert time-line portrayal here] and understanding [see above]
    Call it as a unpaid internship to learn about [said time-line] and free travel
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)20:54 No.7107149
    rolled 2, 3, 3 = 8

    >>7107109
    That's an interesting idea. But my mind immediately went to "Hostel" for some reason.

    Is there money in torture?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:56 No.7107171
    >>7107085
    Fuck that, we bring axes and picks only; we'll feed ourselves by strangling foxes to death with our bare hands, and grow whatever seeds we happen to find inside the native plant life we tear up to brew alcohol with.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)20:58 No.7107192
         File1260669501.jpg-(29 KB, 635x394, businessbooming.jpg)
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    >>7107149
    It's one of the few growth markets in this current global economic climate.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)21:03 No.7107236
    rolled 4, 4, 2 = 10

    >>7107171
    "Choking the Fox" will quickly become a euphemism. I'm okay with this.

    >>7107192
    Excellent. There should be plenty of space for a few chambers, and enough tools already lying around to get the job done. Of course, people pay the most to torture Americans, so we will need to begin abducting /v/irgins.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)21:16 No.7107368
    Guys if you want to attract enough women to make the town a going concern, you'll need to tone down the creepy a bit.

    Suggesting torture as a primary export is not the way to go about this.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)21:17 No.7107387
    >>7107368
    Thank you Casanova
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)21:19 No.7107400
    rolled 3, 6, 6 = 15

    >>7107368
    "Attract?"

    The way this is going, we will either form raiding parties to capture rapeables from nearby towns, or BUILD THEM with rampant SCIENCE!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)21:19 No.7107412
    There was a small town in the USA that was for sale that upon purchase would grant you Mayor-For-Life.

    It was only 30 families and a church, though and the price, I think was a bit steeper then in this instance.

    I can see a wealthy CEO turning a village like that into a company town if they thought to build a factory or mine or something to employ people and draw more people into the city. A CEO-Mayor would have alot of power for at least a little while.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)21:20 No.7107426
    >>7107400
    And just like goblin society, the kidnapped young girls raised in our dark fortresses will surpass all of us in neckbeardery.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)21:30 No.7107532
    rolled 6, 5, 4 = 15

    >>7107426
    That's quite disturbing. With each generation, the neckbeard traits would become more pronounced, until there was nothing left but pure neckbeard itself! The world would implode with min-maxing dickery and 40k pornography at its peak!
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)21:32 No.7107564
    >>7107532
    I can see it all now: "WHAT? You can't tax me for drawfaggotry! Look there, in the corner. I am exploiting the loophole in the tax code about projects done for the greater good and put a Tau symbol there!"
    "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU FAGGOT"
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)21:35 No.7107592
    rolled 6, 4, 6 = 16

    >>7107564
    And then the smacking begins. Cheeto dust fills the caverns.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:01 No.7107847
    >>7107592

    The tantrum spiral would result in an invasion by UN peacekeepers.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:08 No.7107928
    rolled 3, 6, 5 = 14

    >>7107847
    Who procede to get flattened by stone-fall traps, impaled on spear traps, sawed in half by blade traps, drowned in flood traps, and mauled by war dogs until the pressure-plate mechanism time-release finally engages and floods the entire countryside with magma.

    This would make a great movie.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:22 No.7108080
    >>7107928

    . . . what if this is how the town got deserted in the first place? Maybe this is some sort of cursed neckbeard graveyard dating back to the original Bram Stoker LARP community.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:25 No.7108113
    rolled 5, 4, 3 = 12

    >>7108080
    Well, it really doesn't look overrun by magma flows. The buildings could be trapped, though. Or build atop of underground tunnels that still whisper with the spirits of the damned.

    We MUST buy this town.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:34 No.7108228
    >>7108113

    >spirits of the damned

    WHERE'S MY FUCKING WALLET.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:34 No.7108237
    rolled 4, 4, 6 = 14

    >>7108228
    FUCK THE WALLET, GET THE CHECKBOOK
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:36 No.7108255
    >>7108237
    FUCK THE CHECKBOOK, BREAK MR PIGGY BANK!
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:37 No.7108271
    rolled 5, 5, 5 = 15

    >>7108255
    FUCK MR. PIGGY BANK, DIG THE GOLD OUT OF GRANDMA'S FILLINGS
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:40 No.7108300
    >>7108271
    FUCK GRANDMA.

    ..thats it.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:42 No.7108319
         File1260675741.jpg-(9 KB, 251x251, 1254820061475.jpg)
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    rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10

    >>7108300
    Yep.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)22:44 No.7108332
    >>7106854

    You have piqued my interest, good sir.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:47 No.7108386
    rolled 6, 2, 6 = 14

    >>7108332
    I suppose you are enthusiastic about the formation of the Trap Corps?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:47 No.7108387
    Here's a little perspective on why the town is abandoned.

    The commies would just build shit and say "LOL YOU LIVE HERE NOW!" and move in a bunch of ethnic Russians so that they could better control Latvia since the Latvians really weren't too thrilled about being absorbed into the Soviet empire during WWII.

    So, I'm willing to bet that the town is fully functional, but a prime example of mid-century craptastic commie urban planning. People probably moved out when Latvia got their independence and went back to Russia. I'm also willing to bet there's not really any good reason for the town to exist other than LOL COMMUNIST CENTRAL PLANNING!

    Also, there's going to be a shitload of lawn to mow.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)22:49 No.7108408
    >>7108386

    Enlisting more than calling upon them.

    Trap corps aside, this sounds like a fuckwin idea, but let's be honest - /tg/ has neither the funds nor the organization to pull this off.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)22:50 No.7108414
    Best S.T.A.L.K.E.R. LARP setting ever.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)22:50 No.7108422
    rolled 2, 4, 1 = 7

    >>7108408
    Perhaps not, but our efforts could easily be maneuvered into making this a kickass setting, rather than a physical bastion of 4channers.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)22:54 No.7108450
    >>7108422

    Well, we've got an established dorf fortress beneath the town, all "females" are actually traps, it's cold enough to freeze piss before you even get it out, and there're spirits haunting the lower tunnels.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:01 No.7108530
    rolled 3, 6, 2 = 11

    >>7108450
    Periodic seiges by an old Soviet unit that has formed its own miniature tribe in the wilderness?
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:04 No.7108574
    >>7108530

    I like it.

    Name it, writefag it, and slap an article about it up on 1d4chan.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:07 No.7108611
    rolled 4, 6, 4 = 14

    >>7108574
    Righty-oh then. Any other ideas?
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:11 No.7108649
    >>7108611

    Hmmm... Maybe the town's political parties are each based on a 40k faction, and the mayor is known as the "Emprah". The town has nine religions, based on the various components of the Alignment Chart.

    All vehicles are vans, otherwise known as METAL BAWKSES, and for formal events, the standard attire is Fuklaw costume for males, Cultist costume for females/traps/whatever.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:18 No.7108738
    rolled 4, 1, 5 = 10

    >>7108649
    Vans are powered by a sticky, black substance very similar to tar, obviously deemed promethium. It seeps from the ground in several large areas, and nothing grows in a wide radius around those areas. Town TECHBOYS theorize that the land is contaminated by old Soviet experiments.

    The religions with the most followers are True Neutral, Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Good, and Chaotic Evil. The majority of the population considers itself neutral, while a great number of fa/tg/uys choose to identify as Chaotic Evil for comedic purposes. Chaotic Good battles with them weekly in skirmishes with models and real, physical violence.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:22 No.7108771
         File1260678138.jpg-(86 KB, 1134x1024, AkuAwesomeDrawfag.jpg)
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    >>7108738

    Don't forget our Patron God of Orphan Revenge.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:22 No.7108781
    >>7108738

    Meatbread vending machines in all public buildings, coming in a variety of flavors.

    Police force bears Angry Marines heraldry. Not sure on what they'd be called.

    "When pigs fly" or equivalent expressions are replaced with "When Dark Eldar get an updated codex".
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:30 No.7108877
    rolled 6, 1, 5 = 12

    >>7108771
    The visage of the mighty Aku graces the front wall of the orphanage, which is filled with kittens. No children are unwanted (so far).

    >>7108781
    Meatbread is the food of choice, and comes in an astounding variety, with fillings ranging from "questionably meaty" to "steak". Vending machines are placed in strategic locations around town and inside all buildings. They are tended daily by the GUILD OF MEATY BREADLINGS.

    The police force, or commissariat, bears the herald of the Angry Marine, and tolerates no disrespect. Members are required to yell curses constantly and greet all citizens with an extended middle finger. They are armed with chainsaw-swords and nail-bats. Non-lethal force is referred to as "missing."
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:36 No.7108955
    >>7108877

    Chaos political party is divided into five different wings - one dealing with plans to increase the town's wealth, one dealing with the town's military, one dealing with the town's biological weapons, one dealing with legislating the various perversions going on behind closed doors, and one keeping the other four in check.

    Also, what is this utopia's name?
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:37 No.7108958
         File1260679032.jpg-(582 KB, 960x1305, Latveria Travel Brochure.jpg)
    582 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:37 No.7108968
    So if we have to come up with 2296 or whatever every month... then that's roughly 200 fa/tg/uys for about 10 bucks a month for ten years.

    Dude, we can totally do this.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:41 No.7109008
    >>7108955

    I think one of the quest threads gave us the perfect name.

    Teajy.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:43 No.7109024
    >>7109008

    I'm partial to Tiji, but that's just me.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:45 No.7109046
    rolled 3, 4, 6 = 13

    >>7108955
    The Undivided party is party is the smallest, but rivals the others in power. It is composed of jacks-of-all-trades, those who know a little bit of everything and have diverse interests.

    The Red party is mainly concerned with the military, weaponry, hunting, and violence in general. Their reputation as bloodthirsty rageaholics is mostly deserved.

    The Pink party busies itself with perversions of all sorts, sensory enhancement, and the lucrative prostitution guild. They are known mostly for being partiers who just happen to control almost all of the booze and marijuana.

    The Blue party is the merchant and general "planning" association, in many instances unfavorably compared to the Illuminati. As the wealthiest, most paranoid, and most thouroughly prepared, its members are known for outrageous schemes and ridiculous profits.

    The Green party is the most obscure, dealing in biological weaponry and certain medical disciplines. Most of their time is spent culturing bacterial and viral strains, some of which have uses other than destruction. Members are known for being immune to nearly any natural infection.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:46 No.7109055
    >>7108968

    On a related note, the denizens of /x/ were planning to develop a ghost town somewhere in America as a living space / seasonal horror based resort. It was impressive how earnest they were about it. Were it not for the go/b/in flood I think they would have got a lot further. Seriously, it was really impressive.

    They even set up a forum for it. If the thread is still here tomorrow I see if I can dig it out. The original threads might also be in the 4chan archive.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:47 No.7109060
    >>7109024

    Hey, that works too. As long as we've got the reference in the name.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:48 No.7109076
         File1260679702.jpg-(93 KB, 400x600, 1260439894904.jpg)
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    I think, in order to gather the appropriate funds, we need to consider getting other boards in on the deal.
    In my opinion, we should consider sharing ownership with /a/, /co/, possibly /v/, definitely /x/ and /k/ (purely for security purposes).
    Oh, and /d/. Definitely /d/.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:51 No.7109102
    >>7109076

    >possibly /v/

    I don't think most of /v/'s denizens are old enough to move anywhere on their own.
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:53 No.7109124
         File1260679994.jpg-(48 KB, 410x326, 170409Labyrinth4.jpg)
    48 KB
    >>7109102
    We only need their money. Remember the Games Workshop creed.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:55 No.7109154
    rolled 5, 6, 3 = 14

    >>7109076
    The /d/ territory, also known as TRAP JUNCTION, is a division of the town that plays host to the members of the population that prefer to indulge in more "extreme" flavors of perversity. It is noted for its black-hole like draw: the deeper into the territory you go, the more the people and places around you seem to be dedicated to the fringe. At the center of the JUNCTION, town members are accepted into the fold of /d/, to a chorus of ZARDOZ! as the jopyous son or daughter chooses their perversion.
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/12/09(Sat)23:55 No.7109157
    >>7109124

    Eh, point. Tell them it's going towards the development of a 4chan vidjyagame or somesuch.

    /d/ would honestly make interesting bedfellows, in the less-literal sense.
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/12/09(Sat)23:57 No.7109183
    rolled 1, 1, 4 = 6

    >>7109154
    >jopyous

    joyous
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:57 No.7109184
    HERES WHAT WE DO

    STAGE 1

    1. FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH /K/ AND /TRV/
    2. FA/TG/UYS STOP BUYING SHIT, SAVE UP MONIES
    3. /K/OMMANDOS ROB INFERIOR RACES/BUILD UP SUPPLIES
    4. /TRV/ FIGURES OUT A WAY FOR US TO ALL GET THERE (BOOK PLANE/TRAIN TICKETS, WORK OUT CARPOOLS ETC)

    STAGE 2

    5. WE BUY TOWN/GO THERE
    6. WE DECLARE INDEPENDENCE FROM LATVIA, DECLARE OURSELVES A FREEDOM LOVING REPUBLIC
    7. COPY AMERICAN CONSTITUTION, THROW IN SOME AYN RAND PHILOSOPHY/MERITOCRACY

    STAGE 3

    8. SELL OUR SOULS TO FOREIGN CORPORATIONS (KEEP IN MIND ANY RANDIAN PHILOSOPHY MEANS NO GOVERNMENT REGULATION) LOOKING TO DO ILLEGAL RESEARCH IN OUR CITY-STATE, GET LOTS OF MONEY
    9. AT THIS TIME /TRV/ WILL START BITCHING, GET /K/ TO JAIL THEM
    10. USE THEM AS TEST SUBJECTS, DEVELOP BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS AND THE CURE

    STAGE 4

    11. WALL OFF CITY
    12. START CONSCRIPTION
    13. ENSURE EVERYONE HAS BASIC MILITARY TRAINING
    14. STOCK UP ON SUPPLIES, BECOME SELF-RELIANT

    STAGE 5

    15. RELEASE BIOLOGICAL WEAPON IN MAJOR CITIES THROUGHOUT THE WORLD (AND MADAGASCAR)
    16. DECLARE STATE OF EMERGENCY, SUSPEND ALL TRAVEL

    STAGE 6

    17. WAIT A COUPLE YEARS
    18. SELL CURE TO ELITE CLASS OF SURVIVING NATIONS (NOT CHINA, INDIA OR RUSSIA OR ANY OTHER NATIONS THAT CAN THREATEN OUR DOMINANCE. ONLY HAVE OUR GUYS INOCULATE THEM SO THEY CAN'T MAKE THEIR OWN CURE) FOR ABSURD AMOUNT OF MONEY
    19. WHILE COUNTRIES ARE STILL IN ANARCHY/SPLIT UP INTO FACTIONS START EXPANDING INTO NEARBY AREAS
    20. BUY NUCLEAR DEVICES/
    21. OFFER BASIC NECESSITIES AND CURE FOR PEOPLE WILLING TO WORK FOR THE NEW GOVERNMENT (PRIMARILY ARMY PEOPLE). KEEP THEM HAPPY

    STAGE 7

    22. DETONATE NUCLEAR DEVICES IN ANY BIG CITIES/NEW GOVERNMENT CAPITALS
    23. CONTINUE RAPID EXPANSION
    24. BECOME GLOBAL SUPER POWER

    STAGE 8

    25. REBUILD WORLD AS WE SEE FIT
    >> Anonymous 12/12/09(Sat)23:59 No.7109212
    >>7109184

    From LATVIA?
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:00 No.7109218
    >>7109184
    Seeing as we're going with Randian morality, it is going to end in a bloody fist fight as our "leaders" begin to feast on the fat of their own bodies.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:01 No.7109228
    >>7109212
    YES

    >>7109218
    IT'S ACTUALLY A DICTATORSHIP
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/13/09(Sun)00:02 No.7109252
    rolled 6, 5, 6 = 17

    >>7109184
    STAGE 9

    26. EXPAND TO SOLAR SYSTEM
    27. EXPAND OUTSIDE SOLAR SYSTEM
    28. DEVELOP FTL, FORM EMPIRE
    29. SLOW DECLINE
    30. FOUNDATION EMERGES TO REBUILD EMPIRE
    31. EMPIRE PROSPERS
    32. SLOW DECLINE
    33. GOTO 30
    30. HEAT DEATH OF UNIVERSE
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:03 No.7109256
         File1260680602.jpg-(131 KB, 950x1386, 4aa68aa500f00e69c2ab3013b4a2dc(...).jpg)
    131 KB
    >>7109183
    It's okay. I read it as 'poju'ous.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:04 No.7109268
    >>7109184

    What will our counter-measures be if LATVIA doesn't want us to break off from it?

    I don't think we'd have the equipment to deal with a military force.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:07 No.7109295
    >>7109268
    PROTEST TO OUR AMERICAN BIG BROTHER INSPIRATIONS AND KEEP IN MIND THAT THE CORPORATIONS THAT WILL PROFIT FROM THIS ARE FOR THE MOST PART IN CONTROL OF AMERICA
    >> ★ Subprocessor DM 12/13/09(Sun)00:08 No.7109306
    rolled 2, 1, 4 = 7

    >>7109252
    >30. HEAT DEATH

    34.

    >>7109256
    That also works.

    >>7109268
    With a Latvian military force? We'll just have someone from /k/ bring a few hand grenades.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)00:18 No.7109424
         File1260681514.png-(745 KB, 554x900, b5068bef4c6c3678059a9c77334714(...).png)
    745 KB
    >>7109184
    Step 6 should read "chained to wall in real life BBEG's rape dungeon brothel".
    >> That Motherfucking Goblin !XGZ8nDwSYI 12/13/09(Sun)00:20 No.7109453
    >>7109424

    I'm... Okay with this.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)01:34 No.7110544
    Why would they spend all this money building a town then sell it for dirt cheap?
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)02:25 No.7111260
         File1260689118.jpg-(45 KB, 626x517, Facepalm crabapple.jpg)
    45 KB
    >>7110544
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:24 No.7112001
    OP here, I woke up just now

    love what you've done to the place. Maybe a touch of new paint is in order though?
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:48 No.7112247
    You know, for what it's worth, I could personally swing the 300K, but you guys have to convince me that selling my condo and dropping out of law school to become a third world tyrant is a good career move.

    I mean, I wouldn't want to buy this place and suddenly find it full of /d/eviants trying to lure me into their rape dungeons...
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:49 No.7112267
    >>7109184
    >THROW IN SOME AYN RAND PHILOSOPHY/MERITOCRACY
    >AYN RAND

    Pro-tip: You not the ubermensch.
    Rand's life work was attempting to prove why idiots like you are meaningless and the more fortunate would be justified in forcing you into a sweatshop until you become unprofitable, when you'll be forced to sell your organs and left to die.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:51 No.7112284
    >>7112267
    PROTIP: ITS ACTUALLY A DICTATORSHIP
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:51 No.7112291
         File1260694317.jpg-(325 KB, 1220x1120, imperial-truth.jpg)
    325 KB
    Buy town. Establish the Imperium
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:53 No.7112316
    >>7112247
    Other law student here. I am assuming you were also a poli-sci major, and you can't tell me you never fantasized about it during your undergraduate career.
    Also, it's post-soviet, that's the Cadillac of potential dictatorships.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:55 No.7112334
    this makes me depressed. Imagine all the people who once lived in that town, all their hopes and dreams. Now its abandoned, lost, and the struggling government is so desperate its forced to sell what was once these peoples whole lives for pennies on the dollar. It makes me sad
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)03:58 No.7112370
    >>7109076

    Not sure if trap...
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:05 No.7112447
    >>7112247

    > third world tyrant

    second world, technically, since Latvia's an ex-SSR.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:06 No.7112455
    >>7106824
    If you are a man playing a woman you must take it in the butt.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:07 No.7112467
    >>7112370
    >not sure if trap
    Does it really matter?

    You know you'd tap that azn ass regardless...
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:08 No.7112482
    >>7109184
    How are we gonna get /k/ to do all that? And why would they want to join us? Last time I checked, they were pretty libertarian. They're just gonna bitch and moan about politics like they always do.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:17 No.7112606
    >>7112316
    Yes, guilty on both counts. I mean, what is political science, if not a playground for aspiring despots?

    Damn you, /tg/, I'm getting dangerously close to actually giving this a try...

    >>7112447
    >second world vs. third world
    It may be second world now, but once the town's fully populated by /tg/ and declares sovereignty, you know it'll end up becoming the Somalia of Europe...
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:22 No.7112653
         File1260696122.jpg-(217 KB, 800x800, !GAteway.jpg)
    217 KB
    Undoubtedly, this would be a location somewhere in town.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:24 No.7112671
    >>7112606
    Oh man, I can see it now! Two fa/tg/uys sit in front of a table with a tabletop game. On the town square (which is rebuilt to be a large version of the tabletop terrain) stand the inhabitants in battle gear with dozens of /k/ommandos around them, preventing them from escaping. Whenever one of the fa/tg/uys make a move on the tabletop, the inhabitants of the town are forced to go to that place in real-life. That way. The fun really begins when battle is joined.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:25 No.7112689
    I'm beginning to wonder if this is just an elaborate hoax. I can't seem to find any information as to exactly what town this is, or who to contact in order to purchase it.

    Do we have an Latvia-fags here that could confirm this place really is up for sale?
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:38 No.7112814
    Seems like we'll eventually need supplies and money, so what would we base our nation's economy on?

    Considering that we'll be setting up a comically evil dictatorship, I vote for cornering the market on selling legitimate titles of nobility to the world's idle rich.

    Also, since Switzerland pussied out and started cooperating with foreign tax agencies, we could set up a few unethical banks with anonymous numbered accounts.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:39 No.7112826
    We could become the thailand of eastern europe, with a government endorsed sex trade.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:41 No.7112845
    >>7112482
    Yes, but we also have no gun laws.
    So they're too busy thinking about what cruise missile or orbital weapons platform they want to buy next.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:43 No.7112867
    >>7112826
    I have two questions, what could we offer to outdo Amsterdam's legalized prostitution, and is /d/ invited to help out?
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:48 No.7112913
         File1260697702.gif-(2 KB, 50x50, retardthinkingplz.gif)
    2 KB
    >>7112867

    Socialized Prostitution. Like public health, but with whores!
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:51 No.7112945
    >>7112867
    >>7112913
    S'cuse me for getting all feminist on you, but could we at least provide protection and benefitst to prostitutes for a safe working environment? Also, brothels are always a good idea.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:51 No.7112949
    >>7112867
    First thing that comes to mind, use some of that fucked up soviet architecture to an advantage, so our prostitutes (also reasonably skilled actresses) can play out the role of a helpless girl who has survived the apocalypse, and needs you to protect and save her from a shortage of non-radioactive, zombified cock. Or just make the age of consent lower than Amsterdam, and watch as people flock to enjoy the "culture and history."

    /d/ is always welcome, we can have out (apparently) very advanced world-killing disease creating R&D department work with them to create a tentacle monster.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:52 No.7112954
    >>7106332

    Step 1: Set up an account that /tg can put money into.
    Step 2: Set up a spokesperson for /tg
    Step 3: We need to elect a treasurer.
    Step 4: Purchase Latvian Town
    Step 5: Send out team of Fatguys to recon the site.
    Step 6: Depending on step 5,s report, we will come up with a plan to develop food and clean water.
    Step 7: Develop electricity
    Step 8: Connectivy to Internet
    Step 9: Import Women
    Step 10: Draft a constitution, and a sort of governing body.
    Step 11: Let teh Gamez begin!!
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:53 No.7112980
    >>7112945
    We're a third world dictatorship that uses its inhabitants as tabletop models. I don't think we're very big on women's rights.
    (unless they're short and stout like dorfs, of course)
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:54 No.7112987
         File1260698091.jpg-(182 KB, 794x996, inara.jpg)
    182 KB
    >>7112945
    Of course. THIS IS TIJI. Where prostitution is not some back alley alternative to homelessness. We have well-payed, government regulated, benefit enjoying Companions.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:55 No.7112994
    You know what I'd like to do? Elf hunting
    It's like this. First, we surgically alter an inhabitant's ears so that they're pointy, then we put them in a dress, then we let them run away. After that, the chase can begin.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:58 No.7112998
         File1260698308.jpg-(77 KB, 415x309, Cthulu lolwhut.jpg)
    77 KB
    >>/d/ is always welcome, we can have out (apparently) very advanced world-killing disease creating R&D department work with them to create a tentacle monster.
    >>/d/
    >>Tentacle monster development

    We shall call it.... COCKTHULU!
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:58 No.7113011
    >>7112980
    I think it depends. If you're a member of the ruling class, master race, then you can join the Companions Guild, where you are officially endorsed by the Tijian government as being a master of your craft.

    Otherwise, you're a latvian slave class, so you're property.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)04:59 No.7113029
    >>7112987
    Government doesn't regulate Companions, dude, the guild does. And it does it well, because one Companion with a bad rep reflects badly on all of them, and theirs is a noble tradition.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:01 No.7113040
    >>7113011
    >Tijian government

    That has far, far too nice a ring to it.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:01 No.7113049
    >>7113011
    FYI you won't have to enforce a people as property rule. There are large numbers of people - some quite lovely, male and female - who would jump at the chance to be owned.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:03 No.7113068
    >>7113029
    Still, I have a hard time believing that such an organization reached such high levels of respect and dignity without having some officially sanctioned starting ground to grow from.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:05 No.7113084
    >>7113049
    You'd probably still need to enforce it though, because for every the that accept and enjoy ownership, there's that bad seed that can't understand they are what they are for their own good, and the good of our society.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:18 No.7113216
    Rush, Arkansas is an abandoned mining town from the 1920's in case, you know, we can't afford to all move to Latvia. A few standing buildings, several mines with zinc, bauxite, silver and diamonds in the area.

    Also, Tijian education should be historical campaigns. Start off in ancient greece, introduce Aristotle, Democritus, Euripides, etc., as NPC's. Then follow it with Roman, Crusades, and other games to expand on those ideas.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:29 No.7113310
    >>7109184
    is lucky he didn't mention the football stadiums of those cities, or he'd be on his way to jail right now...
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:42 No.7113439
         File1260700921.jpg-(13 KB, 442x448, !Anon3.jpg)
    13 KB
    >>7113310

    I wonder how many will get that subtle reference of yours.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)05:52 No.7113554
    >>7113439
    Glad someone did at least, reminds me how long I've been here for though - that whole event still seems pretty recent to me.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)06:00 No.7113649
    >>7113310
    I chuckled.
    You don't mess with football.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)06:03 No.7113689
    >>7113649
    >>7113554
    >>7113439
    >>7113310

    fellow /b/rothers detected.
    >> Anonymous 12/13/09(Sun)06:15 No.7113799
    >>7113689
    >>7113649
    >>7113554
    >>7113439
    >>7113310
    /b/utt/b/uddy pileup.

    Cleanup isle four.



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