JOHN GALT.

Naruto Gokuzamaki.

Dan Green

Starliyru Expressru

The letter then, is indeed addressed to you, as best you can tell, at least. The handwriting is horrendous!
The letter reads as follows:

Dear JOHN GALT,

Hey, this is Craig, head of the club. As you may or may not have known we used the dues from the year to sponsor one person's trip to Japan for one week. We randomly selected a name from the roster and you were selected!
Your flight is scheduled for the day after you recieve this letter, as that was the only way we could afford the trip. You will be put up in the new tourist-friendly Otaku Hotel in Tokyo.
Be sure you bring us back some awesome stuff, and start packing!

-Craig

You drop the letter on the table, open-mouthed.
Your father walks in saying, "What's up, son?"

"I'm going to Japan!"
"That's great son, when?"
"Tomorrow!"
"Well now, son, we have to go visit your sister at her dorm tomorrow, remember?"
"But...but..."

WHAT SHALL YOU SAY TO PERSUADE YOUR FATHER?

Delete Thread.

"But Dad, if I go tomorrow, I could get kidnapped and never come back!"

My ignorant roundeye people call me Dan Anderson but my true name is Shadowsan Itachikun desu ne~~~~

>>12992962

"I'll suck your dick if you lie to my sister and say I was sick and couldn't come."

"But Dad, if I go tomorrow, I could get kidnapped and never come back!"

"What does that even mean, son? Well, I suppose that it would be alright. Besides, it didn't go over so well last time you visited did it?"

As far as you can remember, all you did was point out that her roommates affinity for western cartoons was inferior to your love for anime. The art style, storylines, and characters are so much better, she must have been handicapped to not see it.
You simply enlightened her.

Great, now you're free to go to Japan!
You rush downstairs to start packing.
Unfortunately, the only bag you possess is a "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" shoulder bag.

YOU HAVE ROOM FOR TEN ITEMS, WHAT DO YOU PACK?

my trusty anal dildo, of course

I WILL ONLY SELECT ONE ITEM FROM EACH OF THE NEXT TEN POSTS IN ORDER TO MAKE IT FUN FOR EVERYONE. I WILL BUMP THAT TO TWO IF IT TAKES TOO LONG AND FROM THE NEXT FIVE POSTS.

>>12993027
My waifu pillow
The crappy loli dolls
A naruto headband
....

netbook

with all of our hentai on it

>>12993027
I need manga to read on the plane, Pocky to snack on, some Ramune to drink, Nintendo DS with some Atlus game, a plush toy of my waifu, spare underwear, a camera, medicine for my irritable bowel syndrome, passport, and my Japanese-English book.

inventory:
Anal dildo(ribbed for her pleasure), waifu pillow, netbook with hentai, loli figurines, naruto headband,

Room for five more items.

A deathnote-styled notebook.

The dubiously legal folder full of loli dickgirl hentai pron

Bill Cosby stand up comedy cassette

About five pounds of Pocky.

My authentic kimono that was really made in japan!

After much deliberation you have your inventory:
inventory:
(1)waifu pillow,
(2)netbook with hentai,
(3)naruto headband,
(4)"Deathnote" notebook,
(5)Japanese-English book,
(6)passport,
(7)Pocky,
(8)five various mangas you have not finished,
(9)camera,
(10)Ramune to drink.

Is this satisfactory?

>>12993140

Hai!

>>12993140
you fucker
you skipped my post, I was even first

>>12993154

There are more important things than dildos, sir.

Railroading
quest over

After updating your blog, deviantart, and informed all your friends on facebook that you are going to Japan, you are ready to go!

You return upstairs and retrieve the plane ticket from the envelope. Your flight will be leaving at 4:00PM.
That seems perfect, as you normally get up around 2 anyways.
You planned on going to bed around 3AM tonight, and it is only 3:45 PM at the moment.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

>>12993176

Let's go to our local anime club maybe?

>>12993176
Practice my japanese spelling while taking tea with one of my pillow/mini.

>>12993140

No. We need our trusty katana to defend ourselves from ronin during our perilous journey through nippon to save the daimyo's daughter!

>>12993176

TRY TO SUCK MY OWN DICK WHILE WATCHING CARDCAPTORS.

masturbate untill I pass out

>>12993176
If the Flight's leaving at 4:00PM, and it's 3:45PM now, I make a fucking beeline on the bus to the airport.

Unless you meant to imply 4:00PM tomorrow.

I forgot my spacebar, so I go back to get it.

>>12993222

Given that we just woke up and the latter said it was tomorrow and we had to convince our father to go tomorrow... I'd say it's definitely tomorrow.

>>12993200

You do not have a way of getting to the local anime club, unfortunately. Perhaps you could ask someone for a ride?

(Yes, the flight is tomorrow, for the asker)

>>12993250

Ask elderly neighbor for a ride by pretending to be his grandson.

>>12993270
Your neighbor, Mr. Pearson, is a grandfatherly figure who is very pleased to be of service to anyone.
Upon questioning him for a ride to the library, he gleefully agrees to help you out.

You both pile into his Buick Regal, which smells of cheese, slightly. As he starts the car the radio starts playing classical music, which is obviously of inferior quality to the J-pop you have on your iPod.
But beggars cannot be choosers.
Mr. Pearson starts to make small talk saying, "Sow hat kinda club is this, sonny?"

>>12993313
"Anime club. Have you ever heard of anime?"

>>12993313

Reply "Future Farmers of America! I want to make you proud Grandpa! Can I have some money for seeds and livestock feed?"

>>12993313
Let's tell him it's a film-watching club, because this is almost true and we don't want to be TOO horrific.

>>12993326
Well now sonny, I would say you need to earn it yourself, but you know, since you're bein such a respectable boy I'll give you a bit, eh?

You receive 50 dollars upon arrival at the library.

>>12993363

Find club. Offer $20 to the girl with no self esteem to give you a handy in the bathroom.

>>12993389
I am both happy and sad that that was the first response.

You exit the vehicle and enter the library.
You take the stairs going down and find yourself int he club's room.
The only other people here are Craig, the club head, and Boyd, treasurer.
They greet you in japanese as you enter.

>>12993389
Second

Edge of my seat here, OP.

>>12993422
Be all excited, get them to draw up a list of things you should buy for the club while you're in Japan and get Boyd to give you money for them. Plan to spend it all on disturbing hentai doujinshi and claim we were mugged by Yakuza when we get back.

>>12993467
>>12993389
both

>>12993422

Talk about how awesome the last Panty and Stocking episode was, even though the reality is that you don't like it, and they don't like it, but everyone is afraid to appear uncool.

Bribe Boyd with loli figurines for extra cash.

Ask Craig what he wants from Japan.

>>12993467
Boyd says, "Well, I've only got a little after we bought the ticket and hotel room, but we could spare a bit for some nice stuff. Let's see..."
Craigs cuts Boyd off, "We need some more...mature oriented material, if you know what I mean. I don't want the girls of the club to know, we can hide it well enough."
Craig and Boyd both nod and look at you.

>>12993506
>mature oriented material
We need to get these guys Boku no Pico

>>12993506

Agree to get them mature oriented material, but only if they can fork up more cash.

>>12993506

Ask where girls are today, feeling in pocket for money.

>>12993546
Boyd goes and opens up a filing cabinet against the back wall. From within it he produces a small lockbox.
He gets the key from his pocket and opens it up, taking some bills out. He locks it back and returns it to the filing cabinet before turning around.
"Here you go, make us proud!"
You are handed 100 dollars, making for a total of 150 dollars.

"I can pick up tons of hentai doujins for you two. Anything else?"

>>12993572

Pretend like incoming call. "Oops. Hold on guys." Walk outside. Text sister asking for her slutty friend's number. You know. The one that works at burger king.

>>12993579
Craig says, "Figurines, some manga, whatever man. Just use your best judgement. Hey, and if they have it, I uh, I like the tentacle stuff myself, I don't know about you guys..."
His eyes dart towards Boyd and then back to you.
"Just a thought."

>>12993592
Abandon plans to screw these guys over; we are brothers in arms against a world that does not understand us or our needs. We can share our porn with them.

>>12993592

Agree to buy him a pet octopus.

>>12993592
Smile reassuringly
"Sure- I'll see what I find,"

>>12993604
Your chest swells up with the internal satisfaction of knowing you are not alone in your fetish fantasies and nod to Craig. Fuck what Boyd things.

You pretend to take a call and step outside.
Mr. Pearson is still waiting, for some reason.
You text your sister asking for her "hawt friends number prease~"

>>12993629

Ask Mr. Pearson for boxing lessons.

>>12993629
Why is Mr Pearson still waiting for us?
Go and ask him if everything is okay?

>>12993629

Tell Mr. Pearson that his Grandson was just here looking for him, and is now waiting in the oddly placed tree-park outside.

Wait for text from sister.

>>12993389
>>12993325
>>12993039
OP is shit for skipping posts in order to railroad.

>>12993643
He stares at you, blankly. "I'm a pacifist in my old age boy, you don't need to be fightin'."
>>12993644
He replies that everything is fine.
>>12993656
He exits his vehicle and wanders away towards a grove of trees.

After a few moments your phone buzzes:

From: Imouto
Message: Fuck off, dweeb. My friends hate you. I'm glad you aren't coming to see me tomorrow.

>>12993697
poke through his car for extra cash/valuables.
And hide his keys.

>>12993697
....
Type back
Srry sis, I miss you -bt this is once in a life time oppertunity

>>12993697

Sigh to yourself and remember that you'll always have Love Plus.

Head home and sleep.

go to the flea market in search of a katana, we will become the avenger, the hero this city deserves.

>>12993726
Maybe we should pick one up in japan and ship it home. it'll be a bitch to get it through airport security.
or incredibly easy.

>>12993697
Imouto, totemo tsundere~!

No matter. Surely there will be dozens of attractive Japanese women just lining up to put their faces down our trousers after we demonstrate our mastery of the most important part of their culture.

>>12993697

Reply back with gibberish, planning to pass it off as cursing in Japanese because neither of you speak it.

Ask to borrow a phone from club-mates to text sister again, this time as a regional BK manager trying to find the employee who "is kinda redheaded and has big tits"

Also, bonus points to OP for listing the older sister a "Imouto". Perfect Weaboo.

>>12993743
How do we know she's older? I'm pretty sure we're a useless deadbeat with no employment still living with our parents. Our sister is younger but not pathetic.

>>12993726
You'll have to wait for Mr. Pearson to come back, you do not have your drivers license.

>>12993708
You find some hard candy, mostly terrible flavors, far inferior to all the Japanese candy you have stored in your dresser at home.
You find a watch in his glove box and a few dollars in change in his seats.

You throw his keys under his seat, you rebel you.


>>12993743
You run downstairs and grab one of their phones, texting her back. They eye you oddly.
You explain yourself away, "Getting laid."

>>12993763

Hm. Good point. I guess there's no real clear indication. I just assumed she was older because Dorm, but with the Weaboo being a Weaboo, he could be older still.

It's at least funnier to think that he'd list his older sister as Imouto because he is an idiot.

>>12993782
I'm going to assume that, although we undoubtedly have myriad flaws, we have at least a reasonable understanding of japanese - we are the sort of person who learns Japanese so we can watch anime AS GOD INTENDED IT BE CONSUMED and whatnot.

>>12993788

Hmm. Touche'. Good point my good chap.

>wait for response from sister.

>>12993807
She texts back on Craigs phone "Uh, Hailey's phone is (534)-555-1337. Is she in trouble?"

Your club members stare at you expectantly.

>>12993838

Don't text your sister again. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Instead, call that number. Be sure not to bungle your new friend's name!

>>12993838

Yell overused just as planned meme.

>>12993838

Don't reply to sister. Program number into own phone as "Heirii". Text her saying that you are a totally awesome friend of your sister's, and say you've heard that she needs help paying the rent. Toss something in about how she humped your leg that one time she got drunk at prom.

>>12993838
I'd feel really bad blowing the money on getting sex from her when the guys are counting on us to bring back some of the good stuff.

Maybe if we pay her enough we can take turns?

>>12993867

We're just going to slip her $20 that we got from the old man. Maaybe the whole $50. Our friend's money is safe

>>12993867
We swiped some more money from the old man, we shouldnt have to overlay. Besides, never pay over $200 for sex.

You ignore your sister and program the new number into your phone as "Heiri," and call her.

"Hello?"
"Hey, is this Hailey?"
"Yes, who is this?"

>>12993884

NOW yell overused JUST AS PLANNED meme.

>>12993888
A million times this

>>12993859
Well we were going to text this, may as well just say it.

>>12993888
You scream at the top of your voice "JUST AS PLANNED!"
"Jesus, who the fuck are you?"

>>12993904
>>12993913

Say that thing that we were going to text, please.

>>12993913

Regain composure and say you have mild Tourette's syndrome.

(Spellcheck on TS? Hurrdurr not going to bother looking it up)

>>12993920

Spelling is Correct.

Yell "3D PIG DISGUSTING" and hang up. This fucked up white bitch isn't worth our time.

>>12993920

Also, apologize for screaming at her.

>>12993920

Regain composure and say that someone behind you sneezed really loud.

>>12993913
"John Galt, you know, from that one time with the people. That was a good time. I was wondering if you wanted to go grab some sushi with me."

>>12993920
You say "I'm sorry, I have Tourettes syndrome, don't FUCKING mind me."
"Uh, ok..."
"I heard you needed help paying your rent. I'm a friend of Imou-I mean, Bridgette."
"...Who is this? What's your name?"
"You don't remember? You humped my leg at the punch bowl at the prom?"
"Seriously, who is this?"

>>12993945
Bridgette?

Is our sister really a sister?

>>12993945

"Galt"
"John Galt"
"coughsamacough"

>>12993945

It's... I'm... Gohn. Gohn Jalt.


You lost it, bro-san. Let's hope she still buys it.

This is going nowhere. Reject her before she can reject us. We need that money to bribe Japanese elementary school girls anyway.

>>12993945

"I'm the guy who's going to give you a Franklin for giving me a quick tug behind the dumpster where you work."

Note: He thinks he's offering a 20, but doesn't know American Currency because GLORIOUS NIPPON

>>12993965
second

>>12993965
I hope we moved away from Craig and Boyd before we said this.

At our earliest convinence I request we make a bathroom stop and do a gear and body check. I know we're weaboo fodder but I would like to know the condition of this vehicle of social awkwardness is in.

Is we fat weaboo?
Is we thin mint weaboo?
Is we ginger (shudder) weaboo?

>>12993998

Haughtily describe your physical features to Heirii over the phone and then lead into the dumpster pulling thing.

"I'm Ghon. Gohn Jalt.
I'm am a handsome 5'7" tall male with a modest 215 under my belt. I enjoy ecchi and long walks on the beach.
I'm the guy that's going to give you a franklin for giving me a quick tug behind the dumpster where you work."
"Uh, Excuse me? Is this Bridgette's brother? That's disgusting!"
"What about some paizuri~~?"
There is a click and your friends are now staring at you, questioningly.

>>12994057

"She couldn't wait to get started. I better go."

>>12994057
>5'7
>215
>33.7 BMI

You excuse yourself, returning Craig's phone and you exit the library again.
Mr. Pearson is now looking through his glove box, presumably for his keys.

>>12994108
Welp, get walking fatty.

>>12994108

Offer to help him find his keys if he'll give you a ride home since your horrible step-father tried to abandon you again.

>>12994141
He thanks you kindly and you start rifling through his car, eventually *finding* his keys under the seat.
You both pile into the car. and begin driving.
"So how was the meeting there, sonny?"

>>12994164

"I've never learned so much about legumes in my entire life."

>>12994164
Just great! WE're all hauling up to North Dakota to learn first hand how to properly sow and cultivate flax!

I just sad I won't be going. The plan ticket is $100 and I only have $50 ; ;

>>12994164

Tell him it was horrible and that he should mind his own business while you suffer through this intensely disappointing period lasting [however long it takes to get home].

>>12994164
Very productive grandpopa, We discussed corn in all aspects for a bit, and decided that we will try a cannabis crop this year, very useful as it is.

>>12994173
Someone take the English language away from the man before he hurts himself.

>>12994173
We took his wallet, he doesnt have any money left!

You explain to him the arduous process of planting the crops you just learned of, making up names for tools as you go. He gets more and more confused you notice, but no matter.
When you mention the money he says "Welp, sonny, why not open up a bake shop? You could put some of that wheat you been farming to good use, mhm!"

>>12994202

Tell him that he should mind his own business while you suffer through this intensely disappointing period lasting [however long it takes to get home].

>>12994202

Put gem in mouth.

After exchanging some harsh words you spend the remainder of the car ride in silence. Very uncomfortable silence.
When you arrive home you exit the vehicle and enter your home before he has time to get his old ass out of the car.

>>12994229

FINALLY.

You rush to your private stash and grab some emergency Pocky to eat and some hentai to fantasize over. It's not healthy to sleep on an empty stomach.

That baka Heirii just doesn't understand.

>>12994229
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

Also, yell captcha: Plityptc Unds

>>12994229

Locate bridgette's drawer and aquire panties, these will be invaluable on your trip to Japan.

>>12994247
The pocky is immensely satisfying, though you seem to be running low after putting a bit aside for the trip to Japan. No matter, we can get more when we get there!
Your computer screen beckons to you, illuminating your otherwise dark hovel.

>>12994263

Are you implying that we haven't already stolen half of her underwear drawer by now? We were a Weeaboo before we were given this quest, y'know.

>>12994263
Genius, do you have any idea what the value of an american teenager's panties would be in japan?
>>12994275
We'd need to get a fresh pair, no one wants a crusty pair.

>>12994270

You know you need to rest for your trip but INTERNET.
You log into GaiaOnline to brag to the posers there. They'll likely never even see the glorious NIPPON in all of its... glory.

>>12994275

Alright, up the ante.

Sneak into her room and get soiled panties.

>>12992948
If you're still watching this thread, I'm looking for you.

>>12994288
>no one wants a crusty pair
I do not believe you have much knowledge of glorious Nippon

After spending a few moments bragging on Gaia and longing over the newest item (so kawaii~), you head towards your sisters room.
You attempt to sneak up the stairs while your parents are in the living room.

Roll 1d20 to determine the success of your sneaking.

>>12994322
>Implying our Crustyness.

rolled 11 = 11

>>12994336
We Are Like Ninja!
We'd best put on our headband, just in case.

>>12994288
You clearly don't like panties. Leave this to the professionals.

>>12994349

...Were we caught?

>>12994349

Never can be too safe.

>>12994381
maybe the headband gave us a bonus.

>>12994387

Maybe it gave us too much of a bonus. What if OP didn't see us sneaking? D:

>>12994349
After applying your headband for the stealth bonus you successfully sneak up the stairs without making too much noise.
Your sisters room beckons, the door still has the sign she left on it: "Keep out, John." to which you have added "I told you to call me Onii~chan!"

You open the door, peering inside. So kawaii~, pink everywhere, but alas, no Hello Kitty.

>>12994398
Rifle through her clothes basket, searching for use panties.

>>12994398
>no Hello Kitty
THAT PHILISTINE.

Okay. We identify her chest of drawers and try to cross the room without knocking anything over or, 'yknow, leaving evidence of this trespassing.

>>12994398

Rummage through her discarded clothing for money.

>>12994412

Whoops. Forgot we were going for used panties. Disregard this.

It's not our thing but we could also get good money for her socks. Find some that she's exercised in.

You see no hamper, but rather a small pile of clothing.
Rifling through it carefully reveals:
1 B-CUP BRA
1 BOY SHORTS
3 AMERICAN BAND T-SHIRTS
1 PAIR OF USED, WHITE AND BROWN COTTON PANTIES

>>12994445
Best put them in ziploc bags as soon as we can too, preserve them

try on the panites and bra

>>12994447

>WHITE AND BROWN

Oh dear god.

Alright, get the fuck out of there.

>>12994447
>>1 PAIR OF USED, WHITE AND BROWN COTTON PANTIES
>>USED, WHITE AND BROWN COTTON PANTIES
>>USED, BROWN

D:

>>12994447

Dilemma! Our bag only holds ten things. >>12993140

We can leave the pocky and ramune here and wear the Naruto headband on the flight to free up some space, but..

Well, we're nearly out of pocky anyway, so let's leave what we have here(or eat it before we leave) and wear the headband so that we can keep the bra and the panties.

As of now you have no ziploc bags, so you pocket them CAREFULLY.

>>12994473

Alright, now quickly leave the room.

>>12994473
*thump thump thump thump thump

The familiar sound of someone coming up the stairs, which just happen to led directly next to your sister's room

>>12994489

...while singing "FIGHTING DREAMERS" from Naruto, because all true ninjas know all of the lyrics~

You exit the room, closing the door behind you just as it was.
You stand for a moment as your mother suddenly comes from downstairs.
"What are you doing up here dear?"

>>12994506
Pull out our penis. "Looking for you."

>>12994506

"Fixing the sign she put on her door. Imouto doesn't respect my hobbies as much as she could."

We point to the sign.

>>12994506

"Bridgette, uh, stole some money from me the other day, I was reclaiming my property, like a responsible adult"

>>12994506
Was just gunna say goodbye to Sis before i leave tomorrow, but she's not in her room

"Fixing the sign she put on her door. Imouto doesn't respect my hobbies as much as she could."

"Mhm, and speaking of, dear, I heard you're going to Japan tomorrow? Please, do be careful!"

>>12994506
I was stealing my little sister's panties to sell to the highest bidding pervert I can find in Japan so I can use the funds for my life crippling addiction to masturbatory fiction from a country that I'm convinced will accept me.

>>12994545

Natural 20 on bluff check?

Explain how you've learned like a million and one martial arts styles from all the anime series you've seen and that you'll be just fine as long as you don't pick a fight with anyone from the Yakuza.

Say "Hai, Wakarimasu", and then head downstairs.

>>12994559

...or the Akatsuki or the Espada.

>>12994559

"Geez mom! You know I'm a master with my katana! IT CAN SLICE A TANK IN HALF, YOU KNOW!"

You reassure your mother that you will be fine by showing her the many types of attacks you learned from Bleach.
Just as you're yelling BANKAI for the fifth time she interrupts you, "Yes, Dear, alright."
She leaves to her room without another word.

(I'll be back in about 20 minutes, I've gotta go grab some food)

>>12994580
oh sweet jesus i feel so sorry for that poor lady

>>12994580

Awesome work so far, OP. Enjoy your meal.

>>12994580
>20 min break

Lazy fuck

>>12994580

Eagerly awaiting when we actually get to Japan.

Then it's all about we can get John Galt killed in Space Quest-esque fashion.

>>12994632

I know, right?
My favorite part will be when he realizes that the culture he adores probably loathes him.

>>12994646

With a soiled pair of American teenage panties? He'll be a big hit with the salarymen.

We need to dig through our closet for that old Kimono we ordered online a while ago. Best be dressed to impress when we get to our spiritual motherland.

>>12994652

I go shopping all the time and pay people. Doesn't mean I want them to stick around and become my drinking buddies.

>>12994660

Indeed.

>>12994652
With a soil pair of american teenage panties he could live like a king for years in NIPPON LAND

>>12994716
Do we have a picture of her to put with the panties?

(BOO YAH ICE CREAM FOR DESERT BITCHES)

Your father passes you on his way to his bedroom and waves you off when you try to speak with him.
You are still upstairs, standing outside of your sisters room.

>>12994728
I'm sure we have at least one photo of our drunken slutty sister passed out on the floor wearing nothing but a sponge bob t-shirt and sporting a tampon tail peeking out from the front.

>>12994744

Go to kitchen and aquire ziplock bag.

>>12994752
anon you have no idea how frighteningly accurate that is for us with sisters. I mean you fucking nailed it perfectly, I've seen my sis in a position almost identical to this.

You venture to the kitchen, and begin searching through the drawers.
After a moment of searching you find the bags, but not before coming across your stash of Chicken Ramen.

>>12994773
Consume it. We must store glorious nipponese nutrients before our trip.

Go up to our lair, place panties in zip-lock, and then search for cheeto-stained kimono.

>>12994773
Get on the computer and inquire about new ramen recipes on /ck/.

As hungry as we are there are more pressing matters afoot it's time to go down to the basement to demand our brother to stop wasting time painting his vastly inferior western miniatures and get to work painting our vast collection of vastly superior vocoloid pvc kits.

You grab the ramen and the box of bags and return to your lair.
You move the panties to a baggy, which you extract form the box.
After this, you point your browser to 4chan, with the task in mind of finding an innovative recipe for ramen.
You are distracted and end up spending the rest of the night on /a/.

After much browsing and a quick, yet pleasing fap, you realize it is 2:45 AM

>>12994838

Walk to airport.

Go to sleep, can't afford to miss your flight!

is this on sup/tg/ yet?

You begin to walk to the airport, but think better of it, and return to your lair to sleep....

>>12994855
also make sure to set your alarm

Browse /tg/
Find Weaboo Quest
BECOME YOUR OWN MASTER!

What time do you set the alarm for?

>>12994876
Noon, so we'll have plenty of time.

4pm

You set the alarm for 12PM and go to sleep.
Do you cuddle the Waifu~ pillow?

>>12994897

Is that question necessary? :D

>>12994885
I agree, 12:00PM

set it to 10:00pm nippon time, which is 2:00 where you are

We need to meet Naruto.

>>12994897
Well she does need her needs seeing too before I go for a while

You cuddle your Waifu~ into a very sound sleep

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz~

>>12994902
I bet he plays Tau. Using Gundam models.

IGNORE ALARM

>>12994913
Dream sequence time

>>12994925

Bring on the Freud.

have a nightmare about your time in high school, and how you discovered anime
oversleep by a few hours

HARD MODE: DREAM LAND

You stand above over 9000 dead ninjas you have just slain, their blood makes a river that a fair maiden is now rowing a kayak up. As she approaches you slowly descend the mound of enemies.
WHO IS SHE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?

>>12994952
Obviously she is our angelic waifu. We embrace her, mourning the death of so many to our amazing skills, and make love to her under the night sky.

>>12994952

SHE IS MY SISTER WHO IS ASKING FOR HER PANTIES BACK.

I TELL HER THAT SHE NEEDS TO ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM AND THAT I AM GOING TO SELL THEM IN FAR AWAY NIPPON FOR GLORIOUS YEN.

A TEAR STREAKS DOWN HER CHEEK AS SHE DISROBES. CLEARLY SHE HAS BEGUN TO UNDERSTAND.

>>12994952
"Imouto! You're ok!"

>>12994952

Oh god, we need to fight her to awaken out PERSONA!

Or maybe she'll give us a blowjob, whatever.

she is our sister and we fuck her silly on top of the corpses

>>12994952

She is yourself.

Fuck.

>>12994974

... her.

She is your waifu, Rei.
You bow.

This quest is Glorious. I salute you sir.

Your sister, in all her western glory is now wearing a Kimono.
She is robed in the beautiful moonlight emanating from above the pile.
"Onii~chan, you have defeated my suitors. We shall be forever together!"
You flew your massive muscles and throw your sword into the ground where it sticks in a manly fashion.
You grab the hilt, putting one foot on top of a dead enemy. With your other arm you bring your Imouto in closer, hugging her to your side.
You stare off into the night...

>>12994996
We take our clothes off

>>12994996

I'd suggest making a new thread.

After a moment of looking epically eastern, you turn to your Imouto. You begin to take off your own Kimono, and are halfway through it when she stops you-
"No, let me," she says, blushing.
She begins to disrobe, very slowly.
Her pale skin is revealed in by inch. Her bare shoulders teasing you as she lowers the cloth ever lower.
She reaches the top of breasts and begins to-
BEEP BEEP BEEP

12PM.

>>12995036
Long accustomed to this disappointment, let's head to the airport.

Gomenasai /tg/, my name is Ken-Sama

I'm a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

You climb from bed, wiping the sleep and boogers from your eyes.
Glorious Nippon, today! It is almost worth missing the better half of a wet dream.
No matter, on to better things!
You are bringing:

inventory:
(1)waifu pillow,
(2)netbook with hentai,
(3)naruto headband,
(4)"Deathnote" notebook,
(5)Japanese-English book,
(6)passport,
(7)Panties
(8)five various mangas you have not finished,
(9)camera,
(10)Ramune to drink.
Along with $150, American.

Is this satisfactory?

>>12995069

Yes.

Yes it is.

>>12995069

It will have to be. If we are to arrive at the airport in time, we must strike out at once. Is our elderly neighbor-sama awake yet?

You leave your basement in search of your parents for a ride.
You are greeted with a note on the fridge:

Went to see sister. Have fun in China!

Silent rage, and now you must find a ride.

>>12995069
Ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｆｏｒｇｅｔ　ｙｏｕｒ　Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　Ｓｐｉｒｉｔ

>>12995048

>>12995048
There isn't anything you just said that doesn't make me want to stab you

>>12995069
dont forget the wallet and change we took from peterson.

Leave Ramune, take panties

>>12995091
Sit on the front porch waiting for our ride.
Plot armor will ensure we catch our plane.

>>12995104

We ate the Pocky, freeing up an inventory slot. We will need that ramune eventually; the human body cannot survive more than three days without water.

>>12995103
The wallet is empty, upon looking, and you have $3.45 in change.

>>12995104
You exchanged the pocky for the panties earlier.

>>12995096
Ｓｍａｒｔ　ｔｈｉｎｋｉｎｇ　ａｎｏｎ
Ａｌｓｏ　ｂｒｉｎｇ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｂｏｕｓｈｉｄｏ　ｐｏｃｋｅｔ　ｂｏ
ｏｋ

>>12995122
I would suggest running but I know we wouldn't make it to the end of the block. Call a cab and hope the driver is forgiving once you arrive

get a taxi with $20 of the $50
exchange rest of money for yen

>>12995091
Haha, this quest is great. May it rival Zeonquest in size!

>>12995122

Our mother seems reasonable. She must have a rainy day stash of quarters somewhere in the house.

>>12995122
Hail a cab and offer sexual rewards in exchange for the ride.

>>12995139
Not all of it, it could prove a valuable barter item. We could also laugh with our future Nippon brothers about how silly american money is.

>>12995122
Ｓｅａｒｃｈ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｐａｉｒ　ｏｆ　ｓｈｏｅｓ　ｏｕｒ　ｆａｔ
ｈｅｒ　ｏｗｎｓ

Ｃｈｅｃｋ　ｔｈｅ　ｃｏａｔ　ｐｏｃｋｅｔｓ　ａｎｄ　ｕｎｄｅｒｗｅ
ａｒ　ｄｒａｗ　ｔｏｏ

>>12995160
exchange $100, leave $30 for trade

Howdy /tg/, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

You open your phone, but you have no number for a cab. You have 10 entries:
(1) Boyd
(2) Craig
(3) Dad
(4) Heirii
(5) Imouto
(6) Jane-sama
(7) Mark
(8) Mom
(9) Sensei
(10) Uncle Brad

>>12995177

Boyd, Craig and our Uncle Brad sound like the most likely candidates to escort us to our flight.

For the sake of new character, I say we call Uncle Brad.

>>12995177

>Uncle Brad

He sounds cool, ring him up.

Ｊａｎｅ－ｓａｍａ

Ｓｅｎｓｅｉ　

Ｕｎｃｌｅ　Ｂｒａｄ

Ｉｎ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｏｒｄｅｒ

>>12995176
Oh god my mirth cannot be contained

>>12995176
what you did there i see it

>>12995177
use your mousepad/phonebook for a taxi number

>>12995177
Call Imuoto, inform her of the dream. Our class will convince her to give us a ride.

You phone Uncle Brad, only to be immediately confronted with a machine:
"Hey, man, this is Brad, leave me a message if you so feel it is your duty therefore to leave one. Right. Uh. Haha...*click* *BEEP*"

>>12995209
Hi hiiiiii~

>>12995203
next

hay, guyz :D any1 wan supahappytiem???

>>12995209

Call him "baka gaijin, uguu~" and hang up.
Jane-sama, then.

>>12995209
Try Jane-sama

I'm curious to know.

>>12995209

Next up, Sensei.

>>12995209
Ｏｎ　ｔｏ　Ｊａｎｅ－ｓａｍａ

>>12995200

Hypothetically, I'd totally hang out with Mr Smith.

You scream all the words you've ever used google to find in Japanese into his machine and hang up.
You next dial Jane-sama

"Hello?"

Can we get some info on each of the contacts? I want to know which one is likely to have a car and NOT be at work in the middle of the day.

>>12995250
say "CHING CHONG DING DONG ARR ROOK SAME"

>>12995250

"Gomenasai Jane sama, I need a lift to the airport soooo bad~"

"CHING CHONG DING DONG ARR ROOK SAME"

"JOHN GALT, what do you want?"

>>12995250
Ｉ　ａｍ　ｇｏｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　Ｊａｐａｎ

Ｍａｙ　ｍｙ　ｐｒｏｘｉｍｉｔｙ　ｂｌｅｓｓ　ｙｏｕ

Ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｄｒｉｖｅ　ｍｅ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ａｉｒｐｏｒｔ．．　ｂ
ａｋａ

>>12995268

say "I WANT MIRRON DORRAR"

>>12995266

This, and offer to give her your most cherished anime cat ears headband thing if she obliges.

""I WANT MIRRON DORRAR""

"Ha, you an me both, nyaa~"

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>>12995295

Ohgodwhathavewedone

Its lunch, I went to my favourite sandwich shop, got a delicious veal sandwich and was on my way back home. There was this thuggish "Nigga" style black dude, he was behind me, I stopped, because he was walking quite fast, and I didn't want to be in his way.
He comes up to me, and asked, “Do you have any money?”, I knew where he was going with this, so I said, “Yeah, but you’re not getting any of it.”, and I walked away. I suppose it’s in his blood, he was going to punch the back of my head but I quickly grabbed and threw him over my shoulder, he fell down and became unconscious. I checked if he had any drugs/money, found cocaine in his jacket and called the cops.
I guess it wasn’t really a fight since it lasted less than 10 seconds, it really shows how effective Aikido is in real life situations.
It feels good to help the police catch drug dealers/druggies.

>>12995326
>fell down and became unconscious

say I NEED A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT TO REACH GLORIOUS NIPPON

Have you ever been in love, OP?

I haven't. Not with another human being at least. After dedicating my mind and spirit to Aikido I haven't found much room for anything else.

Sure I've been on dates before with beautiful women, but whenever they find out that I am a student of the world's strongest martial art, the dinner always ends there. They sometimes even offer to pay, in fear of their lives.

"I NEED A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT TO REACH GLORIOUS NIPPON"

"Wait, what? You're going to Nippon??? BAKA! Take me!"

Do you want to be wise? Learn Aikido
Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is>>12995363

>>12995363

"I would if I could, but I cannot, desu ne~. My... Uncle Brad-ojiisama is ill and I have to tend to him until he recovers in about a week."

>>12995363
３ＤＰＤ
Ｉ　ｃａｎｎｏｔ

>>12995363
You heard the lady, take her. But be gentle.

>>12995363

Ask if she can fit in a duffle bag.

>>12995363
>BAKA! Take me!

If you insist, uguu~

COMMENCE RAPE

>>12995388
>>12995381
I SAID BE GENTLE.

I still laugh at how 4chan doesn't understand what sage means.

If only I knew moon so I wouldn't have to spend time on a board that imports foreign concepts and then DOES IT WRONG all the time.

Using sage as a way to "insult" someone's post or thread is just completely wrong and a retarded misuse of a good feature that is so popular in sites like 2ch and Futaba. Fuck, iichan and 4-ch do it right. It's just 4chan and 4chan's lame knockoffs that fail at using sage.

The true meaning of sage means that YOUR POST isn't worthy enough to bump the thread. It's ironic, because you think that you're insulting others while you're just, in fact, insulting yourself. Yes, sage can be used when posting a derogatory comment in a thread that you don't want to bump, but posting with just the word "sage" accomplishes nothing but contribute to spamming the board. The trend of replying with the name of a tripfag and sage is even worse, as it accomplishes nothing and only serves to increase the e-penis of whoever you're "attacking".

The sage feature was never meant to serve as an implied insult or general disagreement! Why people started using it that way is beyond me. There are plenty of reasons why one would choose not to bump a thread with his reply. For example, bumping threads with stupid one liner replies should be discouraged and those people should be coerced into using sage instead.

I want to use sage, yet I almost never do it on 4chan because people will jump on me thinking I'm insulting their post or something.

>>12995379
""I would if I could, but I cannot, desu ne~. My... Uncle Brad-ojiisama is ill and I have to tend to him until he recovers in about a week.""

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! So you need a ride to the airport? I could make it over in about 20 minutes, if you really need me to."

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.

>>12995403

Agree to it,

>>12995403

"That would be suigoi, desu~! Ganbatte ne, Jane-sama!"

"That would be suigoi, desu~! Ganbatte ne, Jane-sama!"

"Alright, I'll see you soon!"

The phone goes silent, and you put it back in your pocket.

(I'm "wat"ing at the spam)

>>12995452

Proceed to masterbate for the next twenty minutes.

butthurt weaboos itt

>>12995462
Make that eight hours. Be sure to lock all the doors and windows and retreat to our room.

Are you SUAVE?
Are you a SPACE TOAD?
Are you a SUAVE SPACE TOAD?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) might be exactly what you've been looking for! Read SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) today, and enjoy all the benefits of being a satorized SICP reader. SICP (STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS) is the fastest-growing SMUG LISP WEENIE community with THOUSANDS of members all over the Internet! You, too, can be a part of SICP if you join today! Why not? It's quick and easy - only 3 simple steps!
* First, you have to obtain a copy of SICP and read it. You can read it online using your favorite web browser.
* Second, you need to succeed in founding a Lisp-related meme in /prog/ on world4chan, a popular "programming for trolls" website.
* Third, you need to join the official SICP home /prog/ on world4chan, and apply for membership.
Talk to one of the satorized overlords or any of the other members in the board to sign up today! Upon submitting your application, you will be required to submit links to your successful meme, and you will be tested on your knowledge of STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS. If you are having trouble locating /prog/, the official STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS board, you might be on a wrong web sight. The correct address is >>>/prog/. Follow this link if you are using a http client such as telnet. If you have Sussman points and would like to support SICP, please don't sage this post.

HEY KISAMAS,
WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT'S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.

SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN "ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN"? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A'S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.
(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA

You retreat to your lair, find your bottle of lotion and the tissues.
You open up My Computer and go to your "D:/" drive, typing in your password when prompted.
Ah, glorious hentai.
After a few moments in the land of Giri Giri Sisters, you're spent and rapidly clean up.
You head back upstairs with your Haruhi shoulder bag as Jane-sama pulls into your drive-way.

>>12995507
and now we find out Who The Hell Is Jane-sama

>>12995507
Koniichiwaa, Jane-sama-senpai-chan~!

Okay, so I think I understand what's going on. You're curious that your "boyfriend" (read: fuck-of-the-week) spends a lot of time every day going F5 F5 F5 on 4chan's /b/, which is the only part of the fucking site he probably goes to. So you decided "Hey, I think I'll post a thread here and see what these CRAZY HILARIOUS INTERNET PEOPLE have to say!" I bet you like going to sites like Fark and collegehumor and Ebaumsworld when you're not posting glitter comments in people's myspaces and listening to the streaming mp3s they have linked on their profiles.

Also, you are a ridiculous waste of a human being with nothing better to do with your time than to sit here and say "Hey guys I'm a girl teehee I giggle and I'm soft and I get to wear cute clothes when I go out on Friday nights! Hey you know what'd be fun I have a good idea I'll sit here and press F5 F5 F5 on a thread I made and watch people from the internet talk to me!"

You're just trying to validate your vapid existence by proving your gender to you, yourself.

Femininity doesn't travel over Ethernet and DOCSIS, honey. When you're standing there at the bus stop in the morning on the way to your $8/hr part-time job, and people start talking to you, they're not "being nice people" - they're trying to find an opening to get a chance to fuck you. And you're so wrapped up in yourself that you don't even realize it, you just think that people are talking to you because you look cute and it brings a smile to their morning to see a pretty young thing like you.

But nobody would have known you were a girl if you hadn't fucking posted this abortion of a post. Therefore any and all conversation you're having here is completely initiated by you, for the sole purpose of garnering internal merit for yourself.

>>12995507

Act sort of sad. If she asks whether you're excited, say something along the lines of "it'll be great to go sight-seeing, uguu~". Remember: you're supposed to be caring for your terminally ill uncle. Or something.

not sure if troll, but here is some infa 100% advice that i will provide hopefully without incriminating myself in the process.
first of all, it's not legal anywhere thanks to federal japanese law
secondly, you aren't going to be able to buy it illegally if you're foreign. unless you're the sultan of brunei or something.
unfortunately, just like any "healthy" mode of sexual activity, fucking kids requires confidence. you just need to stop pussyfooting at some point and do it. in japan, it's not uncommon to see girls as young as 6 riding the train alone. you just need to snatch her at the critical moment, use her, and split. it sounds crazy, but as far as race and psychology is concerned, you're in the clear. Witnesses are generally extremely unreliable when asked to recall certain features, even the victim herself. if you're white, doubly so. races that people aren't used to seeing ARR ROOK SAME, unless you have flaming red hair or something.

op, start a new thread and archive this one. also do you get luggage or only carry on?

>>12995526
You exit your home, locking it behind you.
Jane-sama exits her bad-ass mobile(Toyota Corolla, circa 1999) and runs to give you a hug.

You exchange Konichiwas and enter her vehicle.
She backs form the driveway and starts driving towards the airport.
Jane-sama is a friend form the anime club and from high school, so many years ago. She is a rather loud girl who draws furry art in her spare time and enjoys Shōujo manga.

Commence 30 minute drive to the airport.
"SO, what will you do when you get to japan!?"

cont'd
Physically, it's not even an issue, you just put your hand over her mouth from behind and more or less fall on top of her. she's not going anywhere. it's definitely a different overall experience from more, err honest expressions of love, but you may find a unique thrill in having such a desparate writhing mass beneath you. and then when she finally submits to her fate (something western girls generally fight to the end) and your hand is warmed with silent tears... well, it's just a sublime pleasure.
anyway, you need to be quick. be forceful. be scary. don't half-ass it. this is where confidence comes in. if you're following her, too afraid that the moment is not yet right, you'll be suspicious from the get-go and she'll study your features. you just need to wing it. destroy her and dash.
obviously you don't want to be retarded, but you can score pretty easily around dusk on lone targets coming home from school clubs. go for the ones without friends

>>12995571

Purchase a 14 year old japanese prostitute.

cont'd
friendless girls are good because they are also not self-confident and probably won't even report what happened out of shame. they can be pretty cute too.
anyway, KEEP MOVING. don't stay in one city obviously. the nice thing is that there are so many concrete hives with secluded areas, you can stay on the move for a while. don't overindulge. leave the country BEFORE patterns develop in the eyes of invesitgators. try again in a few more years. there's plenty of other good countries in the meanwhile.
it's institutionalized in southeast asia and parts of eastern europe, but nothing beats the thrill of the hunt in a first-world nation. japan is probably the best place for this too, given its population, stoic culture, and ignorance of westerners. good luck!

i'll be watching my sick uncle most of the time, the club also asked me to pick up some stuff if i had the time, i can get you some stuff if you want

>>12995571
Yeah, that one aint fitting in no duffel bag.

Well... maybe with a hack saw, but that'll be some feat explaining that at bag check.

>>12995582
"Haha, oh, you joker you! That's why I always liked you nyaa~"

>>12995596
"Oh, I'm so sorry, what's wrong with him? :("

>>12995582
A 14-year-old supa kawaii desu loli, baka.
Also we're buying a bento box, but it can't be pinku.

This guy's telling the truth, a word of advice however, don't say a word. Or even really make a sound. DO what you came for and GO.

While I'm thinking about it, don't were cologne of deodorant either. Better smell like BO than anything at all. Totally neutral is best however. Wait for a cold day, but NOT a wet one. Time your move before the sun really sets yet after it's started to. Hope this helps OP.

umm... ear.... cancer?

You just haven't found the right plant yet. Aerial pitchers of Nepenthes lowii can grow up to 28cm high and 10cm wide (with a constricted neck and what you can call the "womb" area), though you can also find a tighter pitcher to be your girlfriend, as lower pitchers are 10cm high and 4cm wide. In the latter case, you'd get to knead her delicious flat operculum while she struggles to take in your penis, tears streaming down her face as she still tries to go on even though she's on the verge of breaking. If you suggest that you stop for the night, she'd constrict her peristome around your penis even further and refuse, saying that she wants you both to be a proper couple.

N. lowii also feeds exclusively on tree shrew and bird waste, the animals being attracted by the sweet-tasting, white substance it produces, so she'd even try to prove her devotion by insisting that she eat your poop while you taste her white, sugary secretions directly from her body (she'd even offer to alter the taste to your liking, much like a loving wife cooking for her husband. )

The only fault I can find is that the pitcher's entrance is covered with spikes and a great number of animals try to live in the pitcher (midge and mosquito larvae, spiders, ants, even a fucking crab is found there) but surely you'd bear it for the sake of your love and guard your caring, devoted wife from flies and ants trying to infest her.

>>12995617

"Always?"

Slowly drag your hand up to your nipple and rub it sensually while biting your lip and looking at her.

>>12995643
"Oh. My. God. No! That's terrible! He'll never be able to listen to the glorious J-pop! I'm so sorry to hear that! Please tell him many jokes before he gets worse!"

I'm gonna drop the thread here, as I've got a shit load more spam than people playing and I'm gonna go play some vidya or something.
I archived it on suptg, vote up please.
See you all later, hopefully.

She'd be a honest and hardworking girl who does her best to tell you the time, but would be unable to do so in cloudy days or during the night. In that she'd be outclassed by her younger sisters (the mechanical clock, digital display clock and atomic clock) but she wouldn't resent this at all, instead accepting her fate to fade into antiquity and urging you to use one of her sisters in her place.

Of course, you'd kiss her lightly and say you want her to keep being the honest, reliable girl she is, and install a series of mirrors around her to reflect the sun just right (so that she can still mostly tell the time correctly in shade, if there's some light around) while she blushes and says you shouldn't take such efforts for a plain sundial like her. You'd finish by adding a moondial time conversion chart to her, allowing her to function even during the night.

You'd then live as a happy couple of husband and sundial. Of course, the system wouldn't be perfect and it'd lead to you being late to some meetings and such. She'd always nearly be in tears in those occasions, apologizing profusely for being faulty, but you'd hug her tightly and say you like her this way. After all, a man (or sundial) is shaped by his imperfections.

>>12995662
he is having an experimental procedure, we can barley cover the costs, any help would be nice

>>12995675

WAIT

Give a date for your next thread. I've seen too many good quests end because no one knew when the OP would post again.
I miss you, STALKER quest. Please come back to me.

>>12995697
How about some time next Wednesday? Later on would be best.

>>12995714
I'll be there OP, you can count on it~

Offer to smuggle her to Japan in your pants

>>12995720
>>I'll be butthurt there, you can count on it