Sounds annoying, carry on

I didn't mention she was a lesbian earlier, because there are droves of lesbians who don't hate men and aren't thorough cunts, but...this character was very much a lesbian. Again, in sort of a passive manner, where she'd befriend female NPCs and then get hyperprotective of them, never letting anyone else in the party talk to them or interact with them at all, to the point where it was a huge inconvenience.

Now, to her moderate credit, said Bard was either good at playing a Bard tactically, or simply read CharOps from time to time, as she managed to have several ridiculously high skills. Diplomacy, for one, although I doubt CharOps would approve of the fact that she took Skill Focus for it. Religion and Arcana were two others, because she provided most (read, almost all) of our Rituals. As I said before, she was more of a pain in the ass about healing and buffs, but, eh, we had an Eladrin Taclord who was a MASSIVE BRO and made up for every act of faggotry commited by every other Fey ever.

Our DM, by the way, enjoyed intrigue. If a player came to our DM in private with something, it would nearly invariably get allowed regardless of what it was. Wasn't guaranteed to succeed, but it wouldn't get fiat'd away without good reason.

>>9740581
Good! Then you can work around the lesbians way and seduce her "consorts" to the point where they throw themselves in your arms whenever you get back to town.
Or pit the women against her and make men assit her in her cause.
To a case where she either goes with men or goes alone.

She if this was 3.5 you could of used nymphology and cast'd change orientation on her

Now, our quest had been going on for some time, we had faced a number of challenges, and we were currently well into the Paragon Tier. Our latest missions had involved a kingdom that had been founded by a powerful Eladrin Wizardess out of refugees, broken mercenary armies, the peasants of some of the nations that had been crushed by incessant wars between the great powers, and others of that sort. You know, riffraff. Said Wizardess had been the Royal Mage of one of these destroyed, minor kingdoms and was looking to create a new one, one powerful enough that it wouldn't be trampled for resources.

Since all of us were Good or Unaligned (the Bard herself was Good, but had Chaotic Good written on her sheet, according to her, because she preferred the old alignments) we had been helping them. We'd helped lead refugees to them, cut a deal with elementals to convince them to haul a huge stone wall up out of the ground, cleaned out a demon-infested fortress, and generally kicked ass and taken names.

The kingdom in question was presided over by the former Royal Mage, as I said, and her circle of apprentices...who happened to be female. I suspect it was to avoid impropriety, but the DM never said. We had worked hard, and the kingdom was finally secure. We'd collected a few legendary mercenary troupes and formed a kickass army out of them, despite our Bard not wanting to negotiate with the ones led by men. We had raised walls, scoured fortresses, and had even organized people to build roads and rebuild farms.

GO ON
CONTINUE

You've got my attention. Continue :D

>>9740659

I pretty much did do this.

Things were starting to look prosperous, and we had been called to the newly named Star Palace to be honored and discuss the future of the kingdom. Now, part of the reason our Bard liked these people was a disproportionate number of women in power. As I said before, war had crushed many of the kingdoms these people had come from, great swathes of the male population had been pressed into enlistment and slaughtered, so many mothers and widows occupied positions that would once have been filled by men, and as a result it was predominantly women that filled the council chamber, aside from us.

This is the point where things get bad. Our Bard asked to speak, and was granted the floor, ascending to the podium at the center of the room. There she told the assembled the following. War, she claimed, was the fault of men. If it was not for men, there would be almost no war, no violence, no competitive machismo. She spoke of unity and cooperation, in a world where that was simply viewed as the easiest and most mature way to settle things. She pointed out that men had waged the wars that devastated the continent (we don't actually know if any of the nations involved had a queen at their head) and that it was the women who suffered for it...and then she dropped the bombshell. She had created two unique rituals.

The first was a magical plague, it would drain the strength and energy from men and cause them to fall asleep, and then drift off into death. It was airborne, incurable, and fast-acting. She said she made it painless to be more palateable. She said it would take a vast amount of reagents to work, but that they had enough, now, to easily do it with the cooperation of the Queen.

The second Ritual was the one she said would give their nation the chance to spread peace and enlightenment to everyone. This was the one that would keep them safe. It would turn a large number of assembled women into hermaphrodites, capable of both siring and bearing children. She rushed to say that this would not be used on all women, naturally, but enough to keep a sustainable population, and that she had run the numbers needed to keep said population up (presumeably via skill challenge). The ability to reproduce still, coupled with the maturity and gentle nature of women, would lead to a utopia.

(be right back)

>>9741022
Wait, she OPENLY admitted to biological warfare against both nations that had crushed their former kingdom in a border skirmish?
As well as preventing any children from being born since it's pretty much impossible to hide from. That's retarded since it could bring about the apocalypse. (Y the last man scenario)

HURRY UP OP!

>>9741091
Jesus Christ, does anybody actually think like this?

>>9741091

so the world became /d/ ?

>>9741169

>>9741169
/d/ickgirls EVERYWHERE!

>>9741169
He said he killed her. Just let him finish duders.

>>9741022

>>9741208
he DID say BRB

>>9741223
I know, I knnnooowwww

My guess, the player is a neckbeard who was raped as a kid and sought a little TOO much solace in his dickgirl fetishporn. The whole thing just reeks of self loathing.

>>9741091
>>9741022

Jesus christ.....

>>9741243
You THINK you know, THAT'S the problem!

Inb4 it's a troll who never returns

>>9741291

>>9741291
OH FUCK YOU ANON!

He's not coming back. Great troll, sir OP.

>my face when I remembered it was a man

Now, besides the fact that I'm positive there's fapfiction about a setting like that, I'm fond of my balls. Also, fond of being alive. Our Eladrin Warlord is a cousin of the Queen, so I figure she's not going to be too thrilled about this either. I'm ready for them to laugh her down.

DM asks her to roll Diplomacy. This is the point where, I know you're all thinking, she rolls a natural 20 and you all simultaneously call me a bullshitter. Well, she didn't roll a natural 20. She rolled an 18. 18, plus an incredibly high Charisma modifier, Diplomacy trained, Skill Focus: Diplomacy, the Words of Friendship power...it all added up to a number that could have swayed Orcus.

The DM is silent, and tells her she passes the Diplomacy check. This is the point where I fear I may have proven her right about male violence.

>>9741319
>my face in 30 years while on drugs

I swear to god, if I were ever DMing a game with a player like this I would go out of my way to fuck with them, and only them.

>>9741308
>>9741317
>>9741291

>>9741333
HOLY SHIT HE RETURNS!

>>9741333
Hooray, you're not a bastard troll!

>>9741333

>>9741333
>18

Fuckin' 18s man

>>9741333
>Gendercide
>Chaotic Good in any fucking way
I mad

>>9741333
?

>>9741373

Some people go "lawl CG means good intentions even if your actions are sketchy lawl."

>>9741361
>doublesguy
>triples

>>9741390

come on bro, let's not ruin this perfectly good thread with alignment discussions.

waitan.

>>9741390
some people need to felate a gun barrel.

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

>>9741390
THEN FUCK SOME PEOPLE

If I were that DM, I wouldn't have let that shit go on no matter what the fucker rolled. Your duty is to the players and to the plot, not the fucking dice.

>>9741390
While Im all for good intention-based CG... That's NOT a CG act, unless it was completely fucking true, which it obviously isn't.

OP?
OP?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?

>>9741405
man, 4e had alterations specifically because lolalignment is really difficult even to exemplify.

now a half demon claims to be good like a paladin with trhee sticks up every avaliable hole down there and it does genocide!

i mean, if it gets more player friendly, what will we have in 5e?

F5ING LIKE A MADCUNT

This is great. Can't wait for you to kill this bitch, OP.

>>9741474
This, a thousand times this

>>9741463
The alignment grid will be 4 Dimensional!

>>9741478

>>9741463

Dungeons and Dragonhammer 40k

In b4 Fresh Prince

seriously, you guys

>>9741444
if i had DMed, id say the tiefling pretty much pissed on the grave of every widow in that council, plus their children, some still alive.

im surprised she just didnt had a mass gender bending spell. it would make more sense for a "good" character.

>>9741463
WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE GAME
HAPPENS FOR REAL

FINISH THE STORY OP

>Diplomancer tries to bend the rest of the party over a table and rape them with the world's largest "I HATE MEN" sign.

This sort of plan would be incredibly hard to stop if the bard had bothered to wait until the rest of the party couldn't stop her. That said, I'm hoping this ends with a line about how killing off half the world's population to stop war is like fucking for virginity.

FINISH HER

players like this are the scum of the fucking planet. (the lesbian, not you, OP)

OP sneaks into her room at night and murders her, right?

F5 FFS!

op type faster

RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE

Sounds like someone couldn't read the fucking rules and thinks diplomacy is magicless mind control.

>>9741560
>OP sneaks into her room at night and rapes her, right?

F5'an

It's quite possible that this player was a neckbeard trying to troll all of you, and doing a good job...

until you killed his character, that is. Here's to hoping it involved ballista.

Come on OP! You can do this! YOU CAN DO IT!

DM should have probably handled her diplomacy a bit better, for example, he should have had her diplomacy check result in her not being committed to an insane asylum.

>>9741576
That'd be poetic. If not hatred-affirming.

F5ing so hard I might need a new keyboard.

>>9741556
The DM is worse for allowing rollplay to suddenly turn these diplomatic leaders into militant genocidal turbo lesbians.

"Ah yes, males. The gender of humans allegedly helping our kingdom rise to power. We have dismissed that claim."

OP, if you're going to tell a long story, type out the whole thing in notepad before you create the thread.

>Rolls an 18

>Everyone in all attending kingdoms immediately agree that eliminating half of the world's population is a great idea

>the men also approve

>>9741609

Can't this wait, Garrus? You're supposed to be calibrating the guns.

>>9741606
The DM's said nothing about the DIplomacy check's success' results. Or at least the OP hasn't said anything about how his DM handled he Diplo check.

Now, the council chamber and the Star Palace themselves are pretty cool. They were once an ancient Eladrin castle that got permanently planeshifted to the Prime Material and buried over time, we restored it. It's far, far, far bigger than we need, but it's the most regal building around, so the royalty of the new kingdom uses it for stuff. Personally, I think that it's nifty. The council chamber is huge, too, with 'speaking crystals' that carry sound implanted in the speaker's podium. Best part? The speaker is out of range of most spells, at least with the range they tend to have in 4e, just because of the sheer size of the room. So even if she swayed the Queen, it wasn't going to help what happened next.

Incidentally, she was still talking, detailing an elaborate semi-caste-system with specific titles and honorifics, and how the new generation of women that could bear daughters/more hermaphrodites (the 2nd ritual ritual stopped them bearing sons, or the 1st made women in general unable to bear male children, I forget, she had planned for all of that shit) would interact with those who were pure-woman. Her whole plan for it was really, really elaborate and detailed, it sounded as if she had been writing it up for a while, everything from the plans to demilitarize, to the way to train up as many casters as possible to the point where they could cast the first, man-killing ritual using the money they saved from not having an army.

You know what happens to be a really fun power? Howling Strike. Not only can it be used on a Charge, but it deals a fair amount of damage for an At Will, has some items that increase how much it deals in a way that is very, very satisfying. The best part is, the fluff amounts to charging someone with your weapon yelling "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU WHOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" and cleaving the shit out of them. Which I did. Spent an Action Point, hit her with my lowest level Rage Daily.

>>9741580
no matter what, it will involve a phallic object forcing its way in.

>>9741606

OP said the DM let it pass, he didn't say what the DM did with the situation beyond that.

>>9741628
>implying that's garrus
NO.

>>9741606
valid point

>>9741606
I don't know. I've always liked the DM who allows his or her players get into retarded situations that they have to work hard (kill off a PC) to get out of. Maybe I just DM too much Paranoia XP...

Proceeding to dump my MALE REACTION IMAGES to this situation.

>>9741636
YESSSSSS
OH YESSSSSSSSS

WHERE IS THE REST OF THE STOOOORRYYYY?
WE MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
EXPLAIN!
EXPLAIN!!
EXPLAAAAIIIN!!!

>>9741635
>The DM is silent, and tells her she passes the Diplomacy check.

Or you know, maybe he did.

>>9741636
I AM WAITING VERY, VERY, VERY INTENTLY.

>>9741636

>>9741606

He said "swayed," not "the whole council was suddenly on-board with it." Presumably there'd still be work to be done to actually make them pass a resolution to DO such a heinous crime, but the bard had managed to make them warm to the idea.

The DM sounds too smart to not know how to diplomacize.

Back to F5an like a madcunt

>>9741667
I know the DM said it succeeded, moron. I said that we haven't seen the DM's response to the success. Success does not always mean "GOOD SIR/MAAM I AGREE WITH YOU LET US ENACT YOUR PLAN POST HASTE."

>>9741636
Woohoo! Now its getting good!

>>9741636
loled so hard.

Kind of funny. The men, upon hearing about it, would violently revolt and start killing all wizards they came across.

>
You know what happens to be a really fun power? Howling Strike. Not only can it be used on a Charge, but it deals a fair amount of damage for an At Will, has some items that increase how much it deals in a way that is very, very satisfying. The best part is, the fluff amounts to charging someone with your weapon yelling "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU WHOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" and cleaving the shit out of them. Which I did. Spent an Action Point, hit her with my lowest level Rage Daily.

>>9741711
lol

...about to go to bed, then i saw this thread... DAMN YOU AND YOUR INTERESTING STORIES!

>>9741636
Oh man.

WHY THE COCK HASN'T THIS BEEN ARCHIVED YET?!

Oh, wait, it isn't done. SOOOOON.

>>9741722
FRIENDS ON THE OTHER SIDE

>>9741636

I can just picture this whole speech going on and then suddenly from the far end of the room you hear "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MAN HATING DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYKE!" and a barbarian charging across the room.

Did OP actually say "FUUUUCK YOOOOU WHOOOOORE" in-character as he swung? Did the whole council chamber hear? Or was that just for the Bard's benefit?

>thread

>>9741722
Coolest disney villain ever.

>>9741636

>>9741728


Fuck, same here.

Now I'm stuck hitting F5.

SUDDENLY, NICK CAGE IN A BEAR SUIT!

>>9741738

THIS

Drawfag needed.

>>9741636
... and then?

I didn't read this but I'm going to assume OP is a PUA who thinks lesbians should be raped

BY THE NINE DIVINE GIVE US THE REST!

>This thread. This whole goddamn thread.

F5ing LIKE A BAWS

>>9741791

>>9741789
PUA?

>>9741789

Read the rest.

>>9741789
NO! YOU ARE WRONG! READ THE GODDAMN THREAD!

Who wants a pizza roll?
Continue the story in this thread if you want a pizza roll.

DAMNIT, KEEP GOING!

SWEET FUCKING EMPEROR HURRY UP

Now, there are a few other things to mention. First, Rage Strike is awesome. Second, having a Fullblade is awesome. Thirdly, Thaneborn Barbarians have Charisma secondary, which means their Will is generally quite high. In short, the many Will-based attacks a Cunning Bard (or Trickster Bard, I think I said earlier, and if it really IS Cunning I am kicking myself for not making a joke about lesbians and cunnilingus) has are not exceptionally potent versus a Thaneborn, while my AC-focused melee attacks with a +3 Proficiency weapon were. PCs have decent amounts of HP, in general, but still, I'm Rage Striking every turn, hitting her with Dailies and chopping into her like firewood. This took a while purely because, OOC, the Bard's player is freaking out and screaming at me and demanding the DM stop me. Perhaps she had a point, since I WAS hacking at someone in the middle of council, someone who had simply been presenting an argument, even if it was arguably enhanced by arcane magic.

I can't F5 this thread fast enough my god.

>>9741789
>Didn't read this

OK, your opinion is just as valid as mine.

>>9741738
GET READY FOR AN UPPERCUT, YOU DYKE!

GODDAMMIT THIS IS THE MOST EPIC WIN EVER IN THE HISTORY OF /TG/ OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THREAD SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT SOMEBODY ARCHIVE IT

YOU WILL CONTINUE THIS STORY OR ELSE I WILL BITE YOUR BAWLS OFF THEN BITE MINE OFF FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT!

...Way to prove her right, OP. Way to prove her right.

The irony on this picture is apparent.

Should I stop?

>>9741821
Rick Berman!? No..thash not rick berman...what ish it with ricks?

>>9741831
How valid is your opinion?

>>9741828
yes...YES!!

>>9741828
Jesus fuck more!

>>9741828

KILL THE GASHBEARER

>>9741828
GLORIOUS. It's like you suddenly became a Rage Paladin of Masculinity.

"*SKREEEEEE* STOP THAT STOP THAT!"
"UNHOLY WENCH, I SHALL SMITE THEEEEEE"

>Destroy men everywhere.

"Sounds like a plan. Never mind the fact that half the women here have sons that are still alive, who would have to go through the further mourning of watching them slowly wither away and die to a disease you created. I'm sure they'll get over it and learn to accept the grand new future you've laid out for them."

I FUCKING LOVE Y. BUT THANK YOU FOR AVERTING YET ANOTHER GENDERCIDE.

>>9741789

>>9741814
OK, I see this guy all over tg, and I have no idea who he is. Can someone help?

this is awesome. And you should feel awesome.

Nah. MORE MEN REACTING TO HER GRAND SCHEME

>>9741828
I can see the whole council going like 'welp'

>>9741828
MOAR! WE NEED IT NAO! IN THE EMPEROR'S INFINITE MERCY, HURRY UP

>This took a while purely because, OOC, the Bard's player is freaking out and screaming at me

>>9741874
A beatnik from the animated movie The Iron Giant.

>>9741874
He's a guy from the movie Iron Giant.

>>9741874
He's from the movie Iron Giant

>>9741874
Dean from The Iron Giant, one of the finest pieces of animated video out there.

He's well loved for having a bizarrely huge range of facial animations that make for totally bitchin' reaction shots, and for being a cool motherfucker.

>>9741874
He's from the movie Iron Giant i think kick ass movie when i saw it.

>>9741874
He's from the Iron Giant cartoon.

>>9741874
That's Dean, he is from the movie Iron Giant. He has many good reaction images in that movie. That is pretty much it.

>>9741874
He's the coffee drinking guy.

>>9741898
>>9741896
>>9741895
>>9741893
>>9741891
>>9741887

fuck this shit im out

>>9741874
He's Steve Jobs.

>>9741903
What?

>>9741908

>>9741903
/tg/ gets shit done

>>9741874

That's Dean, he's from the move " The Iron Giant "

It's pretty good, give it a look some time.

>>9741866
FUCK YEAR YORICK

SHAME THE MONKEY DIES. AS WELL AS... 355 WAS IT?

>>9741887
>>9741891
>>9741893
>>9741895
>>9741896
>>9741898
>>9741899
>>9741901

OH JESUS, PLEASE FORGIVE ME

>>9741874

Drinks coffee, runs a junkyard, makes scrappy art and does not afraid of anything.

>>9741910
Mah Boi, this thread is what all true warriors strive for.

I'm snickering like a goddamn schoolgirl.

>>9741874
>he hasn't seen the Iron Giant

>>9741913
So many responses in a row, probably.

DEANMIND

>>9741923
FUCK WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT?!!? I FUCKING LOVE AMPERSAND!

F5ing like a mo' fo'.

MANLY REACTIONS FOR A MANLY MAN SUCH AS THE OP

>>9741942
Fuck you, bear! Be more excited!

OH GOD HURRY UP!!!

>>9741928
This is what happens when you don't watch animated movies.

TG GETS ANGRY AT YOU

>>9741936
oh god that's fucking hilarious

>>9741828
>Perhaps she had a point, since I WAS hacking at someone in the middle of council, someone who had simply been presenting an argument
If I were a nigger with a gun and I was in the middle of Congress when some cracker got out a white hood and a burning cross and laid out his plan to exterminate all niggers everywhere and everyone around me was nodding and going "great plan, I love it, you're wonderful," it would take a Will save with a DC of at least 18 to stop me from shooting the motherfucker.

OP, THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE AWESOME IF YOU HAD FUCKING TYPED IT OUT AHEAD OF TIME.

Still. This is pretty awesome.

>>9741928

Oh my god that was HILARIOUS

GIGANTIC DEAN HIVEMIND!

GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS /tg/!

please dont be bel air please dont be bel air please dont be bel air

>OP is a Barbarian about to cleave some man hating cunt in half

I FUCKING LOVE BARBARIANS

holy fucking dicks, this had better not 404

I'm so proud to be apart of something this amazing.

>>9741971
sage

>>9741974

And yet, op is still more awesome. Nice try though.

OP, you're giving me blue balls over here

>>9741978
hurf durf

TYPE FASTER YOU INSUFFERABLE FUCKBADGER

Holy cocks, this thread has, like, 200 replies in 20 MINUTES.

And only about 8 of content or something. Well, and a massive hivemind.

I"M PRACTICALLY DUMPING MY ENTIRE REACTION IMAGE FOLDER

THIS MUST STAY ALIVE FOR THE OP

>this thread

>>9741739

Yes. That is pretty much exactly what I said. OOC, I think I was also saying it every time he/she bitched. Now, the guards are running across the chamber to break this up, but I am Rage Striking the shit out of her every turn, and hitting on most of them. She has a handful of hit points left, the guards are almost there, and I thwock her with my last Rage Strike, sending her deep into negatives and knocking her unconscious. The player is going ballistic when our female Fighter comes up and casually helps me smash her down to her negative bloodied value, killing her.

Good reaction for a 4e thread.

>>9741978
fuck off,douchington

More Manly Men!

>>9741992
CUT THAT OUT YOUR GONNA MAKE IT AUTOSAGE

>>9741998

AND THEN?!

AND THEN!?!?!

>>9741978
Shit, we've been saged. Thread's dead now.

THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG OP

>>9741998
BWAHAHAHA.

"Y'know what, I'm down for this also."

>>9741998

PLEASE 2 TYPE FSTR

>>9741998
>The player is going ballistic when our female Fighter comes up and casually helps me smash her down to her negative bloodied value, killing her.

GIRL POWER

>>9741998
we are released...this is good.

>>9741998
OH GODDAMN THAT MASTERFULLY CRAFTED TROLL

>>9741998
>female fighter
>kills a lesbian trying to make a dickgirl utopia for woman

FUCK. YES.

>thread

>>9741998

>when our female Fighter comes up and casually helps me smash her down to her negative bloodied value, killing her.

GLORIOUS!

UTTERLY GLORIOUS!

>>9741998
Hahaha, nice.

>>9741998

BWAHAHAHAHA

FUCK YER

>>9741998
>our female Fighter comes up and casually helps me smash her down to her negative bloodied value, killing her

HNNHNGNHNGNHNH

>>9741998

>>9741998

HOLY FUCK

BITCH BE AN HONORARY MAN

This thread just convinced me to try 4e.

>>9741861
bump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpbump bump bumpv

MANLY REACTIONS TO SMUG

>>9742032

"So here I was, thinking about how much I really enjoy some cock* when, OH SHIT, TIME TO KILL A BITCH."

*Yes, I remember about the herms bullshit. Still don't care.

>>9741998

SO MUCH YES, IT CAN HARDLY BE CONTAINED BY CAPSLOCK

>>9741940
DID YOU NT FUCKING READ THE END?

DOWNLOAD THAT SHIT

>>9742016
And then the council has the party arrested and executed.
They resurrect the Bard, appoint her Lord High Chancellor, and wipe out all MANkind.

>>9741998
I thwock her with my last Rage Strike, sending her deep into negatives and knocking her unconscious. The player is going ballistic when our female Fighter comes up and casually helps me smash her down to her negative bloodied value, killing her.

YEEEEEEEES

>>9741998
Nice

>>9741998
That fighter was the bro you needed her to be.

The only thing that could make this story better is if she turned to your barbarian and said "What can I say, I love cock."

Was the female fighter played by an actual woman? Cause that'd be the icing on the delicious cake.

>>9741998
Holy shit. The perfect ending.

>Yes. That is pretty much exactly what I said. OOC, I think I was also saying it every time he/she bitched.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA, OH, I BET YOU WERE

GOD I'D PAY IN BLOOD FOR THOSE CHAT LOGS

YYEesssssss.

>>9742093
Better if she said 'real cock' or something.

The Futa-land would hav3e meant cocks for everyone.

So, the Bard's player is still freaking out, basically saying I should be executed on the spot, and the DM hurriedly ends the session. Our Fighter, who herself is a big, quiet Goliath Battlerager, ends it with something that just wouldn't have had the same effect if anyone else had said it.

"Some of us like MEN attached to dicks, you selfish cunt."

But seriously, what the hell's going on.

OP SInglehandedly brought back my faith in roleplaying.

OVER TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY POST'S IN SO MANY MINUTES!

>>9742123

Fuck Yeah

>>9741998
Did anyone learn the dickgirl spell? because your fighter earned her penis. She's a bro.

>>9742123
>>9742123

>>9742123
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!

I CAN'T CAPS LOCK HARD ENOUGH!!!!

>>9742123
YEEEEESSSSS. Glorious.

>>9742121
not everyone. just like, a third of so of the population, who would be treated as literal 2nd class citizens in a semi caste based society.

>>9742123
Glorious.

>>9742123
FUCK YEAH

>>9742123
>"Some of us like MEN attached to dicks, you selfish cunt."

I JUST EJACULATED A MAJESTIC FOUNTAIN

>>9742123
FUCK YEAR.

My response to man-hating lesbowitch

>>9742123

>>9742093

Huh, ironic. Didn't see that post there.

>>9742123

I HOPE YOU OFFERED TO FULFIL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER SEXUAL KINKS OP!

SHE EARNED IT!

BRO'S BEFORE HOES AND THAT HOE WAS A BRO!

>>9742123

A one liner that shall be remembered with the likes of Schwarzenegger, Willis and Stallone, OP. A story for the ages. Give us a full epilogue and we'll forgive a slow to come post.

>>9742123
OP, marry her, for all of /tg/. Dont let her get away.

>>9742132
/tg/ - sometimes, we get REALLY excited.

>>9742123
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH

>>9742123
>"Some of us like MEN attached to dicks, you selfish cunt."

>>9742123
THERE'S NOT AN APPROPRIATE REACTION IMG FOR WHAT I AM FEELING

IT IS A GOOD FEELING

>"Some of us like MEN attached to dicks, you selfish cunt."

YES

YES

YES

Pure Gold.

OP.

You must give us updates when you go to the next session.

You MUST.

Somebody wanna archive this?

I'm not awfully enthusiastic about this the way many of y'all are, but this seems as though it ought to be archived. Interesting study on /tg/'s reactions.

So many fa/t g/uys are practically squirming and grinning at their chairs right now.

Makes me proud to be one of them

Okay, what about the fallout? I MUST KNOW THE SORDID DETAILS!

>>9742123

>>9742192
DO IT YOU BITCH DO IT

so it is over.

Hell yes.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING THREAD

I don't care that the story is bullshit, it's still great.

>>9742204
We need an appropriate title. Something that will live up to the thread.

>>9741998
>>9742123

http://www.hack.org/mc/mirror/www.spunk.org/texts/anarcfem/sp001291.txt

So, OP, story finished?

Morbo laughs at the pathetic brain damaged human female. May death come swiftly to her progeny.

To OP:

That was freaking brilliant.

And the best part: It was completely in character what you did. No one can say that you pushed the situation a bit just to kill the annoying PC.

And a hell of a fun read.

>>9742206
The battle for the male gender is over.
The battle for Helm's Deep is about to... wait a minute...

Copypastaed into notepad and into a PNG.

>>9742224
A man can only take so much

/tg/

Hope the door hits you on the way out you fucking dick hating feminist

>>9742224
Surely
>Some of us like MEN attached to dicks, you selfish cunt.

Works

>>9742123
FUCK YEAR!!!

Archive request submitted!

good end

>>9742224
>Some of us like MEN attached to dicks

Seems like a good title.

The problem with Archiving is that the majority of this thread is just Reactionimages.

I'll go about making a composite image of all of OP's posts, if you like.

>>9742261
No, it can't be that. That gives away the punchline.

ARCHIVE
THIS
SHIT

This thread made me laugh maniacally! Good show!

>>9742253

wut? use the archive at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html, it's made just for /tg/ and requires no number of requests to archive a thread; one person can get something archived.

Which is why a million shitty drawthreads are in there.

>>9742271
How so?

>>9742249
I was wondering when the trolls would start.

>>9742224
4e, berserker cuts dick hating feminist in half with help of female fighter, news at 11

I am so proud of this woman. Way to represent our gender appropriately.

>>9742269

Already composited

>>9742245

>>9742282
r u for srs

I believe I say for everyone that this thread has proved 4e's worth significantly enough.

Title: The Wench who deserved it.

Whoever did this did a good job of naming; no real spoilers beyond what we started out knowing.

Kudos.

In the process of archiving this thread right now.

Archive this right the FUCK now.

>>9742249

>>9742315
or that an interesting story will shine through regardless of the mechanics being used.

>>9742314

>>9742328
ALREADY DONE, CONTINUE TO HAMMER F5!

I think we hit autosage

>>9742348
THE ONLY THING LEFT TO DO IS POST REACTION IMAGES

>>9742359
We have indeed.

In less than two hours.

>>9742269
The process of /tg/'s reaction is half of why we need to archive this. Stories can be screencapped. The evolution of a thread? Less so.

OP, TELL US WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SESSION OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU

>>9742249

Pretty fucking sure that the player of PsychoBard was a male.

>This new player purported vaguely to be female, but...it was unclear. Possibly just a dude playing pretend, a MtF, or genderqueer. What was clear, however, was that he/she had some issues.

I've never met a "feminist" half so nutso as a pervy futa-crazed neckbeard. Pretty much the entire scenario screams "guy with a fetish."

This womyn's plan, was it anything like this?

http://www.womynkind.org/scum.htm

>>9742359
>>9742366

>>9742187

I vow by Kord's manly chin that I will provide updates after next session.

Good sir OP This little story of yours has made me smile and makes me wanna start playing RPGs again.

I JUST WANTED TO CREATE A DICKGIRL UTOPIA

WHY DID YOU SHATTER MY DREAMS

>>9742388
You, sir, are a god among men.

>>9742388
Was the female fighters player female also?

Well, she sort of had a point, you can't deny that male-on-female sex is incredibly violent, the act of stabbing and penetration, a penis is a goddamn weapon and all that. Besides men do cause most wars...

>>9742389
Makes me want to start playing RPGs in general. Now to get off my lazy, social avoidant ass and find a group.

>>9742388
Once again, OP, we whole-heartedly thank you for this. You have made our days and nights.

>>9742412

BOOBS DON'T MAKE MY MINI-HYPER WEAPON (CLITORIS) STAND UP. HARD, MANLY CHEST OR GTFO.

>>9742373

That, and the Deanmind was HILARIOUS!

>>9742412
While you're technically correct (the best kind of correct), how long in human history have women had the political power to start wars?

>>9742405

I think so, but since it's online, no way to be sure.

>>9742381

Wasn't that written by the crazy lady who shot Andy Warhol?

>this thread

Magnificent...

>>9742412
Weren't there studies that showed that women in positions of power did the same things as men, if not MORE brutal?

>>9742450
Yes.

Because future generations need to see this.

>>9742412

>>9742412
penetration is the only way a man and a woman can have sex?

My god, i must be doing it wrong

>>9742450

No sir, the introduction at the top makes it quite clear that while she did in fact shoot Andy Warhol, she was totally not crazy in any way at all!

>>9742454
Women are brutal and cunning, or cunning and brutal.

rolled 8 = 8

>>9742412
... Your penis has a blade on it? Because mine is more like a club. And last time I checked, you can't stab someone with a club.

I hate people who think shit like that. There's nothing violent about two people being mutually pleasured by sex.

>>9742489

>suptg archive thread only has 11 votes

i am disappointed in you, /tg/

>>9742525
... Your penis DOESN'T menace with spikes?

You poor soul.

>>9742525
Mine's more of a reach weapon. A guisarme perhaps.

>>9742576
I call mine the Lucern Hammer.

>>9742123
THAT IS A BETTER LINE THAN ALL OF /tg/ MANAGED TO COME UP WITH.

Anyway, a bit of a heads up. If I were your DM I would use that debacle as an excuse to have that actually convince the audience, and suddenly they are the new BBEG.

>>9742412

War is a byproduct of actually getting shit done.

Women do not get shit done. They do nothing but dick off all day.

OP"S SHENANIGANS CONVINCED ME TO TRY 4E

This is the greatest thread ever.

>>9742618

I call mine the Doom of Malan'tai.

>>9742642
>dick off
Pun intended?

>>9742618
I call mine...
HYPER WEAPON

You know, I think it would have been tons funnier had the DM mentioned that not only were most of the aggressive nations ruled by matriarchies/Queens, but the Queens mentioned started the war over petty gossip and manipulative emotional stabbing.

Truly, the only kind of thread you'd see once in a lifetime.

>>9742773
Or until it's copypasta'd till it becomes a troll excuse to start a feminazi thread.
The future is bleak.

Thanks OP. This is the best thread I've seen in a very long time. Makes up for shitty finals have been this past week.

This thread made me start watching The Iron Giant.

Link to the archive maybe please yes?

>>9743078
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9740414
You really should have been able to find it yourself.