Please do not take these items.

Group of undead skeletons using their bodies as instruments instead of weapons.

>>13583931
I can't believe you beat me to that.

+1 this

>>13583931
Noh!

Three elves in a forest selling firewood and wondering why no one is buying from them.

Some intelligent super-strong creature. It's bored of fighting and want to gamble or play riddles. If attacked it will just walk away, mumbling about bothersome mortal vermins. Or disintegrates PCs equipment if they are extremenly anoying.
If PCs agree to play, they will most likely lose, but are rewarded anyway if creature finds game amusing. (bonus points if PC can learn it game it doesn't already know, no matter how silly it is)

A brass dragon.

All they do is want to talk to people.

The ronery dragon. ;_;

Travelling merchants/Prostitutes.
Potential allies, even among monsters. There's this thing called "Parley" they should try.
Animals.
Lost or wounded adventurers (could also be shapeshifters, bandits, cutpurses, or a 5th level Paladin testing their honor and goodness, of course..)
Hermits or priests in small roadside shrines.
Pixies. Just.. Pixies. Read the 1e MM and you'll understand
The nest/lair of a monster, with several hatchlings or immature critters: this is also (potentially)) a Treasure, since you can sell them to trainers.

There are an infinite number of non-combat encounters, just think about reasons your players would have for >not< killing someone, then build an encounter for it.

Also, have enemies that are clearly outmatched and not fanatical surrender (granting XP) or retreat (and regroup). The loss of Morale rules in 3rd edition is one of the great tragedies for actual roleplaying in D&D.

Orcish pie-baking contest.

kobold thah thinks hes actually dragon (and tries to act like one)

somewhat intelligent skeleton that thinks he's lich

living statue - it's lonely and bored

ogre or troll chef - challenges PCs to eating contest, he's cooking

>>13584062

A captured mermaid in a giant goldfish bowl who will die if she remains out of water for longer than an hour.

A twelve-year old prostitute who keeps following the players, hoping to score gold by selling herself.

If anyone just gives her money, she pesters them even more.

>>13584128
This is a horrible idea unless you intend other consequences, and I suspect you do.

Have the monster challenge them to a game of drop ball.

Roaming band of buskers challenge your PCs to a game of dice.

>>13584128
Reminds me of the time me and the dm got into an argument about whether or not plane shifting orphans to Elysium was a good thing or not.

An ogre who was just dumped by his girlfriend for an ogre she thought was manlier.

All he really wants right now is a hug.

A tall spindly creature was leaning over a corpse and slowly peel the corpses face off. It then put on the face over it's head and started walking toward the PCs. The PCs fired on the creature and no matter how many bullets they put in it, it never slowed. Just walking steadily toward them. Once right in the PCs faces it stopped and said with the lips of the stolen face,"You may want to save your bullets for what's to come." and then walked away into the mist.

A region has become plagued by a half Drow - Half Dragon - half Vampire Ranger who constantly sparkles.
The local villagers are understandably worried that his mary-sue aura will attract stupidly powerful monsters that will job to the Sue to make him look more impressive but not before destroying the village in order to create pathos.
You've been hired to pretend to be bandits and have him chase you out of the region and towards the location of a known black dragon whereupon you can pull the old "enemies team up in the face of a bigger foe" trick.

So in one room, there's a little obelisk with a bowl of spaghetti resting on it. Beneath is a paper sign asking passersby not to eat it. If the players choose to eat this spaghetti or remove it from the obelisk, all four walls of the room rise and reveal at least fifteen dozen italian chefs swarming upon the party while cooing "BABY, YOU-A SPAGHETTI" while pinching their thumb and forefingers imploringly.

A bookcase filled with books that read themselves aloud whenever you open them.

A sentient diary is among them, and it questions the players if they know where their master is, as they miss reading to him.

The last entry in the diary was written over thirty years ago.

"My memory is getting as bad as my eyesight. I keep leaving my cane downstairs. I better go get it now, before I forget again."

>>13584201
I hate those encounters where the only option is to flee.

>>13584286
I don't know why but this make me laugh.

>>13584288

>>13584225
I think I want to stop playing now.

Two men who seem furious at each other, and they both throw down a bag of holding, one containing a shocker lizard and the other containing an eyeball beholderkin.

They make the monsters battle against each other.

>>13584288

>>13584225
heehee

While lost in a foggy forest, the party comes across an elf in a clearing. This elf is acting very strangely; before it takes a step it puts down a plank to step on, then picks up the plank behind it and repeats this between the two planks.

The party knows the forest is dangerous, so they try to speed the elf up, until eventually they wrestle the planks away from the elf in hopes that she will begin moving normally, and break them in two. Instead of moving more quickly though, the elf collapses sobbing and crying on the ground, refusing to budge at all. They party had somewhere to be, so they hurried on after it became appearent that the elf won't move from that spot.

As they wander lost in the fog, they come across another clearing, very similar to the one before. In this clearing, they find a very emanciated female elf, dead. Her legs broken.

>>13584332
It's not that bad anon. I've seen worse.

>>13584288

>>13584406
This worked in the original story because they group found her when playing as a second group set months later in that game world, and the insanity of the first group was a plot point. Also, I don't think most people would try and take the planks, and if they did they would at least pick the elf up and carry it to safety, not just leave it sobbing.

bump

A little mushroom girl who gets bullied by a toad that keeps sitting on her.

If the adventurers harm the toad in any way, she bursts into tears.

>>13584378
You sank my scrabble ship!

>>13584378

You sank my scrabble ship!

A giant, inexplicable dick bolted to the floor.

>>13584378
Is one of them GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK?

>>13584406
This actually gave me chills, great.

>>13584406
... why would she break her legs?
No, you can't leave that there.
Why the fuck did her legs break?
Her dying I can get behind, but how did a pair of planks stop her legs from snapping?

>>13584854
It was implied the planks were either her legs or crutches and her legs were already broken. The PCs were high on some drugs. The story is in the archives.

>>13584854
Party was hallucinating, the planks in fact were the elf's legs

>>13584813
it's actually the first part of a very fucked up D&D campaign, where the first party doesn't know it but they are under the effects of a really powerful drug that they were supposed to leave a trail of from one city to a major town.

I like the race around the world the most.

>>13584865
>>13584872
>>13584919
It's retarded.

Why break the planks? Why not take the elf with them? Why would the elf die of starvation in the same clearing?

It's so stupid, it's not even worth discussing.

ONII-CHAN, WHY CAN'T I GO WITH YOU?

>>13584956
Cuz the party was stupid or impatient or plain mean.

>>13584956
they tried to take the elf with them at first but they got very iritated that she kept putting the planks donw to walk on them, it was the parties half ork I think that became so enraged that he broke the planks, and the elf sat there crying, after a while of the party standing there they decided to leave because "it was obvious the elf was no longer going to help."

they got attacked by zombie orks later that weren;t really there, just a figment of their drug influenced minds.

>>13584973
...Or the party acted unnaturally simply so that they'd fulfill the rather rather exact actions their DM required so his inplausible little scene would work out, even though there's still a number of issues that can't be solved with "lol drugs."

>>13584956

>>13585014
Nonsense. Anything can be explained with magic and drugs.

>>13584996
>knows the forest is dangerous, so they try and speed the elf up
>when she collapses, they leave her
>carrying elves is apparently not an option, especially when its quite clear they can't protect themselves in a dangerous forest

Well, I'm done.

>>13584956
Makes perfect sense. Party A is high on hallucinogenic drugs (That means they see shit that isn't really there.) They saw the elf, whom they BELIEVED was acting strangely with the boards. The tripped out Party A breaks the boards, thinking it would make the elf stop acting to unusual. They were actually breaking her legs, so she starved and died of exposure because her legs were shattered.

Later, Party B walks by and sees the elf, dead of starvation and exposure, thanks to her shattered legs.

If you can't connect that dots there, then you're just a retard.

>>13585043
It takes more than two weeks to die of starvation, and depending on the circumstances it could take almost just as long to die of exposure.

For an elf who lives in a forest to be unable to crawl on her hands (with the threat of DEATH as her motivation) to some semblance of shelter before she starved to death (!), and for the party to be lost in the woods high on a drug for several days and by chance finding her in the same spot, well, it seems like it's trying too hard to be an edgy baww story without really working out the details.

>>13585092
Part A did the breaking. Party B did the finding. Why don't you try to look for the archived thread to find out the whole story?

The party are asked--being an impartial third party--to judge a fishing competition.

>>13584406

Anyone have the Archive link for this if it is indeed, Archived?
I would be interested in reading it

>>13585148

Going by this post-
>>13584406

There was only one party. And with two parties, there's no real impact. It's one party breaking planks, and another party finding a dead elf. Whoop de doo.

Further, it doesn't explain why the elf, with only its legs broken, managed to starve to death in the same clearing, when she could have crawled, been dragged away by one of the dangerous things in the forest, or a thousand more plausible things than simply waiting to die.

There's no reason for the first party to feel bad, if they ever even found out that the elf died, because they weren't the ones to kill it. The DM was, because he decided to throw out common sense just so his half-baked scenario would play out.

>>13585254
nofunallowed.jpg

>>13585285
>let's be stupid and excuse ourselves by saying it's fun!

You are the problem with the youth of today.

>>13585285
No one said it wasn't fun.

Oh wait, getting railroaded into a backwards plot isn't fun.

>>13585254
That's a bit of a roll-playing way of looking at it. That's like saying it's alright a bus load of children died, because god wills it.

>>13585329
I don't think you understand what roll-playing means.

A player isn't roll-playing when he calls the DM out on bullshit when it's clear that he's trying too hard to place imaginary blame upon them in hopes of provoking emotion in as shameless a way as possible. While it's not the best thing to do in a game (since DM's do make mistakes), it's retarded to suggest to other people to perform the same kind of half-witted mistake.

A player would be roll-playing if his first reaction was to check for loot.

>>13585186
We can now conclude that it was not, in fact, archived.

Found it

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/6088875/

Three sixteen-year-olds with sticks wrapped in soft cloth who are striking each other, calling out numbers as they do so.

They look upon the party reverently.

>>13585548
I have mastered neckbeard psychology.
The second you tell you guys didn't/can't do something, you immediately do whatever is asked.
Shit was so money.

>>13585612
No problem. I don't understand why it was so hard to find. It was fucking gold.

>>13585548
>I'm no writefag, so forgive me if this isn't really up to shnuff, I'm not trying to produce literature here, just relay events.

As a lying writefag myself, I've used this kind of opening a few times. Still, some of it wasn't too bad, it was still just chop full of little plot holes and questions that didn't get answered.

Overall, trying to emulate what's clearly a staged account is not the wisest thing for a DM to do.

>>13585666
I agree but I would still have lots of fun and wouldn't find it retarded.

>>13585666

>666

What else have you done? Spoke words that must not be spoken?

An easy one is a sphinx who guards a road. Answer the riddle to pass freely.

>>13585914
A miserable Sphinx wandering the roads. Her old riddle has become public knowledge, so if you can provide her with a new riddle that pleases her, she will grant you a boon.

>>13585914An easy one is a sphinx who guards a road. Answer the riddle to pass freely.


no, that's asking for the party to spend the whole session trying to kill the sphinx

>>13584406
Why does this remind me so much of the guy from Zeno Clash that just keeps walking forward on boards attached to his feet?

>>13587356
I saw a guy like that once irl. It was pretty bizarre. He carried around these weird canes too. Don't know what he needed two canes for.

>>13587356
You mean Oxameter?

>>13587590
Yeah, that dude.

This thread is incredibly useful and chock full of good ideas. Maybe we should archive?

Traveling bazaar, circus or play meets you on the road to wherever you're going. When you get to town with them, they go all out. People come to town to celebrate and bring wares.

All sorts of fun to be had there. You can talk rumors with the locals, buy stuff, do random videogame style fetch quests, have the play be something plot revelant (IE its some event that happened in past, telling of future etc etc), get wasted.. the sky is the limit.

>>13588001
It's mostly people arguing about an already-archived thread. I don't think it's worth archiving.

Bump for general interest.

Guys theres a body in the middle of the room, what should we do?

"Loot it."

Turns out its a sleeping guy who is incredible insulted.

>>13584143

I don't know, if this is a Shadowrun game set in Rangoon or Caracas this makes perfect sense for the ambience.

The party encounters a Lich sitting in a room, and suddenly all exits to the room is sealed. It's so ancient and powerful that the player's attacks are instantly repelled and nullified. In front of it are several doomsday devices, and a chessboard. Then the Lich spoke to the party:
"Care to play a game?"
The Lich then details every one of its doomsday devices, but curiously the chessboard is also mentioned.
If the players decide to play anything other than chess, make the Lich say:
"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?"
To exit the room, the player must play chess with the Lich. Doesn't matter if they win or lose, the Lich opens up an exit for them in the end.

The party encounters a girl wearing a homemade kobold-suit, yelling "Rar! I'm a Kobold!" and swinging around a wooden play-sword. If they attack her, a whole tribe of Kobolds spring from every shadows, screaming bloody murder and attacks the party. Apparently, she's their goddess.

>>13590346
That's way too darling of an image for any party to even consider attacking.

>>13590644
>for any party to even consider attacking
I envy you so much that words cannot describe it.

>>13590312
InDOGnesial