DELIVAR'D

Also, epic screencap thread? Will dump if someone else helps out

Bump.
I to wish to save the exploits of los tiberon.

>aponder limits:
Yes captcha I ponder these limits too.

Nigel

Blargh

>>17482400
Thank you Nigel.

Using the phone app, so i can't remember which ones this is...

this guys a doucher

WHY AREN'T YOU POSTING RIGHT

Anyone here?

Nope

so here's my question. what's a good build in pathfinder to play Los Tiburon

I saw a screencap of a 1 day ban for "not loving Terry Pratchet" the other day and didn't save it. Anyone got that?

>>17482682
Hell if I know, i'm just posting awesome pictures

BOXCAR JOE

Well, I'm out because apparently half of my pictures are corrupted. FUN, and not in the dorfy sense

I actually JUST posted that today, so I can't post it again. Lost track of the thread it was in, though. Also, the guy was called LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND. HE RIDES AGAIN TO INFLICT JUSTICE.

Oh boy /tg/ screencaps.

I have way too many of these.

the story of Amazo

>>17483046
Laughed my ass off at that one.

The saga of Ozzmar, the Orc Paladin

Part 1

i had the same idea as op and ripped off los tiburon for a one shot my friends were doing

he was el martillo, the hammer, with his sidekick he made as the game went on (los clavos)

>>17483206

Part 2

God I love /tg/ rap battles.

>>17483222
I'd love to know where the campaign went after that.

Allow me to supply you with wondrous tales. Let us start with one of my favorites: The tale of Jamhorn Glittergold

>>17483507
HAHAHA. FUCK.

First time I actually read this thing all the way through, sonofabitch.

A tale of pride and comeuppance, i humbly present to you the tale of a young man known only as Psycho!

>>17483172
>>17483172
>>17483172
>>17483172
Holy shit I have never laughed so hard at something on 4chan. I wish I had some way to thank the OP and the reposter. I suppose this pic is all I can muster. Sorry.

And finally, a tale first told by wasteland warrior, of vampires, thatguy-ery, and of course, revenge!

>>17483673

Ha, yeah that one never fails to make me laugh.

Don't know what thread originally produced it though.

MANLY TEARS

MANLY TEARS EVERYWHERE

I'm sorry.

The best Rogue Trader ever.

This is one of my favorite stories I have saved.

>>17483880
I love this story so much, that the next time I play 40K I'm playing a Feral worshiper of King Emp-Rar.

I've only seen this one posted once: last week, when I saved it.

I don't think it's been posted, but maybe I just can't read. I wanna /r/ a story from a thread a while ago. It was a CoC character who was a crazy old man with a ridiculously long backstory and an unintelligible scottish accent, and basically ruined everyone's plans. I can't for the life of me remember if it was archived, and if it was, what it was called. Hope I'm not too vague.

Aaaaaand that's all the screencaps I have for /tg/.

>>17483318
Speak my name and I shall be summoned.
Ozzmarr's chronicler here, the Cleric.
This is going to be a long one, so hold onto your dicks.
After the death of Tyrants, the game wound down a bit. I say a bit because there was never the slaying of another God, well, there was sort of, but I'll get to that soon. We each get a fancy new item, Ozzmarr got 'The Fire of the Gods'; which was a gem that allowed him to show anyone, at any time, his memories, and that burned with rightious fury, acting as a Holy Subtype fire attack -/Will; Blackguard got a Dagger called the Tear of Faith, that was the tear of a dying god, which was a powerful, powerful thing; and basically had the power 'fuck you' 1 time ever, where she could activate it and It would basically act as a plot device to let her do whatever she fancied for a while before it ran out of juice.
Anyway; after completing the task at hand, with the death of the King, Ozzmarr turned his eyes Northwards, into the Forsaken lands.

>>17484274

Old Man Henderson

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10964326/

It's down the thread a bit.

>>17484341
A bit of back story here, everything beyond a certain point, known as the 'Ice Wall' was part of a region known as the Forsaken lands; where no civilization had ever managed to take root, like most sterotypical Frozen Norths, it was almost inhospitable to civilized life, filled with Barbarians and few people who went over the wall came back.
It was also Ozzmarr's original homeland, a place he couldn't even remember, but he didn't know this and its not important.
Anyway, we travelled North, past the Ice Wall; past the dead glaciers, through the tribal hunting grounds of the Orks and the Neanderthal. Bringing civilization as we did, or trying to, each time we took a step forwards, there was a step back, as if the land itself refused to be tamed by mere mortal hands, while we're there, we learn of a God, the only God in the area.
The Northernmost Wind. A cruel, CE god, that refuses to let its Domain become tamed, and kills anything, man or beast, that dares try to carve its land to its will.
So Ozzmarr turns North once more.
And we kept on going, Ozzmarr leading the way; through Mountain, through Dale; over a frozen Sea, complete with giant serpents and a frozen undead dragon; because this place is like hell with ice skates and our GM has a hard on for awesome set pieces.

>>17484274

>>17484368
By this point we learn even more of the Northernmost Wind; its the creature that fuels the cold of this place and it is practically older than time itself, an ancient monster so old that its realm is part of every map ever created. The Ice Wall isn't the edge of its domain, its the edge of its prision, and all within are its toys, to keep it distracted.
Ozzmarr wishes to see these people free. My Cleric by this point has decided to start focusing on fire themed attacks, to take advantage of the Cold; and most the group has done the same.
Now, the Blackguard is suffering badly from the Cold because she was a half-elf, spindly little thing, and because Platemail+Heavy furs were too much for her. Needless to say, by the time we reached the mountains, we were a different party to when we entered, this wasn't civilized lands, this was over the edge of the map.
And to become a barbarian was the only way to face it.
Ozzmarr by this point has gone from nearly 100% Paladin, to nearly 100% Barbarian in looks, but under the furs and bone club, after his original was sundered by a Neanderthal Chieftan, he is still the Bro-ladin we know and love.

>>17484341

Oh boy oh boy please continue, good sir.

>>17484358
Thanks. I was planning on drawing inspiration for him for a WoD game I'm gonna run. I wanna have someone like him as the mages' mentor. The plan is for his shenanigans to get them into trouble, which introduces them to the different elements in the world.

>captcha: Words, words.

No, captcha, this isn't a B^U thread.

>>17484378
Anyway, between us, we manage to get further North than any 'civilized' being had ever gone before, and we meet an entire new race; that has managed to survive up here; they don't even have a name, they're basically humans, with 100% Frost resistance and are hard as fuck.
We meet them when a group of them ambush us by jumping out from about 10 foot of snow.
Anyway, we manage to defeat them, and Ozzmarr demands to be brought to their chieftan. We are, turns out these men mix with Frost Giants, as the leader is the largest frost giant we've ever seen.
The guy is sitting on a throne, carved at the foot of a mountain that goes above the clouds, he's taller than most trees, and appears to be wearing leather armour that must have required an entire small herd of Antorauch to make. He's also so damn old that he can't even stand and so wise that his beard has to be rolled up and kept in a basket next to him.
"Why have you come." The Ancient Behemoth asks, in a voice like the creaking wind.
"I am Ozzmarr; warrior of the South, and bane of Tyrants; I have come to bring peace to this land."
"There is no peace in the Northern lands; go home to your caves and ice huts, however far south they are, young warrior, live long and happy, knowing that we of the North live and die, so that you may have peace from the God of Ice and Sorrow. Each year, he comes to face me, and each year, for aeons, I have drawn equal with him and now I am old, and he, still young; and I lose a little more each day, and the world grows a little darker, go home, live, love, make merry, for most the world is cold but free."

>>17484415
At which point, Ozzmarr's character realizes two things.
That the Frost Giant has never seen the South, as far as he knows, the frost touched the whole world.
And then He uses Detect Good.
...and the Frost Giant Glows like a Beacon.
A Paladin Beacon.
The First Paladin, Ever; one who follows no God, one who probably birthed the first God of hope, using nothing but his actions. So old that he was forgotten before time began.
Ozzmarr looks at this ancient warrior, and kneels before him, paying respect to the founder of what would one day become the ideals that birthed the God, that his order followed.
And then stands; and says.
'I am Ozzmarr; slayer of Tyrants; warrior for all free people, and so long as any are bound by chains; I will not go home. You, and your people; are bound to this place by Duty.
I will help you fulfil that duty.'
And he holds out the stone, and touches the tired, worn old Hero of a Giant, who has nothing to live for and has slowly given up on existance over the years, thinking that all his efforts have come to nothing; all his good deeds simply ash in the wind.
Who sees what Ozzmarr has done; what the ideals that the Giant have created have done; what the World of the South, the world he has never seen, are like; rich and vibrant and free and full of life.
And the ancient creature weeps, his tears melting the frost of his beard, as he sees the beauty of what he has fought for, even if he cannot fight anymore, he has seen it.
And it was worth it.

>>17484437
Now, I think at this point the GM expected Ozzmarr to take the Giants place and Title, as the First Paladin, and take on the Beast of the North.
What happened was far more interesting; as the Blackguard steps forward and says.
"Ozzmarr. Could I show him...something."
Ozzmarr looks at her, and says he isn't sure it works like that, but she's willing to try anyway.
I'm not sure what the Old giant saw in her, maybe that she wished to one day be with Ozzmarr, or that if he took the Giants place, he would never be with her, or all she saw in Ozzmarr, or all that was good in her now, but he nodded, and looked to Ozzmarr.
'This seat is not yours to fill' he rumbled.
Ozzmarr is silent; then looks up. "Then I will slay it with the hands of a man"
The GM looks at him and OOC says 'Well, that's all very well and bad ass, but how do you intend to kill a physical god? I mean, you killed one before, but this is an entire different leauge...you sure you want to do this? It'll probably be a PK'
"I know, but Ozzmarr would do it."
'Alright.'
Ozzmarr looks back to the others and says: "Long ago, I bound you in chains to me; since then, we have been so much, done so much, changed so much; this is my fight. As a Paladin."
And the others are silent for a moment and the Blackguard steps forward and says '...its my fight too then.'
Girl secretly took levels in Paladin; starting after she 'rose' from being a black guard. This if Ozzmarr's fetish apparently as he gives a 'daymn girl' look and they fist bump, as a couple.

>>17484462
I step forward "I was never chained to you, and I think all of us can agree. That we will follow you; so tough."
Ozzmarr grins a big, toothy half Orc Grin.
"Then we begin the climb at dawn."
GM is like 'You do realize that this just means it'll probably be a TPK instead'
Monk replies “We are not leave his side.”
Dawn next day, we're all freezing our asses off; and the Giant has managed to unstick himself from his throne; and has aqquired a set of Plate mail; and a sword so large that you could break it down for smaller swords for an entire unit of men.
His men see him get up and are all like 'What's going on here?'
And the ranger stands atop his throne (Taking a minute or so to climb up)
And gives an incredible speech, I can't remember the whole details, it was like, 5-6 minutes; on Ozzmarr, on good, justice, freedom, the warmth of a new born baby, hope, love and all the things in the worth worth fighting for.
And the entire tribe looks on confused as fuck.
And one steps forward and says 'So...we should come help you then?'
"Gods no, you've all got to live through this, I was just explaining what Ozzmarr is doing for you and what things will be like afterwards so you have something to look forward to when we get back."
And then he runs after the rest of us.

>>17484485
F5 F5 F5 F5 DAMMIT

>>17484485
Anyway, a lot of trail and tribulation later, on Frost touched mountain, as we came to know it; because the Druid was shit at naming things, we arrive at the top, above the clouds; the GM describes this huge Mead Hall, carved from bones, sitting atop the mountain peak, so cold at the top that ice doesn't even form, so its a clear day.
So, we're cautious and we enter. Inside we find an entire hall of dead titans of various kinds, their skeletons slumped over the preserved tables; the entire place lit with torches.
And in the throne at the head of the Hall, sits a creature of pure Ice; a woman carved from snow.
A bit of exposition later, we find out that the creature is a female frost giant who was the first Evil creature in the world, and used to be the Wife of the Paladin-Giant before hand; and who ended an entire age when she murdered the Primordial Giants.
We kinda hang back for a bit because he obviously doesn't have the heart to really fight her and that's, probably, why she's still alive. And then the big tweest comes out.
Because he loves her; he'll hold her back, but he can't bring himself to end her, the compassion and love of a Paladin, that drives him to protect all, won't let him kill his own wife, because he knows she's still good in there somewhere.
Despite her entire reason for falling being that she felt she wasn't her husbands equal, due to some, throne, problem...fucked if I remember, but it was a really petty reason that'd snowballed into the source of all evil in the world, Pandora's box style. And it ended with her killing their entire race, the Titan giants apart from the two of them, then trying to take over the world because if she couldn't be warm and happy in bed with her hubby, no one could and the entire world should suffer because it made her moist.

>>17484462
>levels of paladin
>thisismyfetish.jpg

>>17484539
Ozzmarr steps forward, before the Giant.
And doesn't bother with speeches. He just powers up and charges, with a screaming, animal bellow of pure hatred and disgust for the pers-no, the monster before him.
The fight lasts 3 rounds, before Ozzmarr is on -3 HP, but has managed to cut open her chest and stuff the Red Gem into her heart, thinking that it would change her nature.
She rag dolls him across the room, and The Fire of the Gods; an item that literally represents all that is good and compassionate and virtuous about the world; shatters in her chest.
The GM admits at this point that he's not sure we can win, he was expecting the PCs to accept the dying Paladin's power and each become a Deity.
We're strong; we're not God strong.
Then the Blackguard steps forward as the Heartless Ice woman mocks Ozzmarr.
And she looks to the Giant and says 'I was once a woman like that; before Ozzmarr offered me kindness; all the Kindness in the world cannot change her back, she is not the woman you love anymore; as I am not the woman Ozzmarr dispised.'
And offers him the Dagger, while grabbing some of the shards of the now broken Gem in hand as well for good measure.
He hesitates and looks to her; then takes it, and it shatters.
When the glow diminishes, he's young again, for an ageless being. Revived by the power of the Dead God; returned to his old vim and vigour both internally and externally by the actions of the party.
Hey, I never said it was an original or non-cliche story our GM ran; it had tyrant Sorcerer Kings remember.

>>17484586
He steps up so does she; she brings her ice sword down; he parries and he grabs her and kisses her one last time; while using his own power to Neutralize hers; pure good, pure evil. Total mutual anhiliation, if they were in equal amounts, sadly he's not quite as good as she is a raging monster; so. she becomes mortal, as he dies in her arms.
And we've all moved to protect Ozzmarr, Ozzmarr's Player was totally happy to step down and let everyone else have the Epic finish since as he put it 'I've already had 4 guys, nail the bitch' and the Blackguard steps the fuck up; sword in hand.
The GM starts a whole 'We can rule together, I've seen the evil in your heart' speech, but the PC slaps her as soon as she says 'I know the evil in your h-' and responds angrily “You chose yourself over the man you loved because you wanted power and felt like you weren’t his equal; you arn't even fit to call yourself Evil. You're just a selfish Bitch.'
That day; the origins and frozen heart of all Evil in the world died; the Blackguard and Ozzmarr's holy symbols became blank, as the God of Honour himself, who had never been able to end this monster and had sort of 'not talked about' the horrors of the North, shame facedly stepped down, unable to call himself their master.
The First Paladin is now a God, in setting, and Ozzmarr and the Blackguard are both minor living 'deities' in his panthenon amongst the northen tribes, while the Northernmost Wind, as an ideal, no longer as a person, is part of the Dark Panthenon; the GM ruled that after we broke her, the feedback was so powerful that it shattered the Snow Enchantment of the North.

Fuck it I'm archiving this.

THE SAGA OF OZZMAR SHALL BE TOLD AND RETOLD THROUGH THE AGES.

>>17484597
Theres still evil in the world; as always, but the oldest Evil in the world ended at our hands that day; afterwards, Ozzmarr led the Ice Tribes South; as the water levels across the world rose (A bit inconvenient for the settings version of Venice, but fuck 'em, their god will look after them and they're a bunch of LN dicks anyway) and created a place for them to live, in the deep mountains, where a new civilization is rising.
We've all agreed, the next game we're doing in this universe, we're all taking members of the Ice Tribes, who are trying to grow accustomed to this new world, of warmth, not being eaten by dire-Ice-wolves and so forth and of course dealing with the after effects as old Evils rise once more, awoken by the shock of their great, great, grand-evil-mother being shanked; but we can deal with it.
Also; in the Epilouge, Ozzmarr dicked the Blackguard, his Master shotgun wedding'd him and they finally had a sprog; but Ozzmarr's Player refuses to play him, saying he didn't want the GM to make any exceptions for him and he'd rather 'make a whole new character so that Ozzmarr can have his rest and you guys can be the big ass heroes next time while I hang back' same as he said he'd be a minor deity in the First Paladin's Panthenon, not the other way around despite the entire groups protests, because that'd be too much of a circle jerk for him; after all, as he put it 'Ozzmarr was just some random Paladin, who believed good, did good and fought for good; nothing special, that's what Paladins are right'
Because he's a bro like that.
And because he has no fucking sense of perspective.

>>17484341
>>17484368
>>17484378
>>17484415
>>17484437
>>17484462
>>17484485
>>17484539
>>17484586
>>17484597
>>17484644
I appologize for the write up being dicks, its 5 in the morning over here.
And now I'm going to sleep; leave comments and shit and I'll send the archive link to Ozzmarr's player later, he doesn't know I told the tale of Ozzmarr on here at all yet; I can't wait to see his face.

For you.

>>17484667
Thank you, for telling the tale of Ozzmarr.

His Saga should inspire all who play paladins as how a paladin should be played.

>>17484618

here it is

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17482364/

Vote it up guys

oh god this is win, we have the ending of the ozzmar epic ballad of a game.
thus it was written, thus it was told.

>112 posts and 84 image replies
>already archive worthy
well /tg/ is on a roll tonight.