A strange caravan will arrive north of town at midnight.

I hear the apothecaries daughter is quite good with her hands... if you know what I mean.

I hear the witch up the hill can curse any disease. And she can help you get money from the government, and make your penis bigger, and she has a stable of hot, horny elves.

Sounds legit to me.

The Duke's coffers are running empty. He's having trouble paying the militia.

I heard that you can use some paint to change the colour of your hair. But it is just a rumor though.

The Miller's son is hung like a shire horse.

They say there have been odd noises and strange lights seen on the southern edge of town every second night. Load of horse droppings if you ask me, there's nothing of note down there except the old burnt out witch's cottage.

Some of the folks around town are acting a bit oddly. They've had unexpected runs of luck and should be happier than ever, but they just seem...dead. No glint to their eyes, no bounce to their step, no tone to their voice. Haven't seen them at church recently either.

Soulless bastards.

Rumour has it that if you swallow chewing gum it will stick to your insides and kill you.

Hopsy the Cleric is going around erecting those phallus statues, bet he thinks his god will grant him a raise in status

They say the magician Maxibron is looking for a rust monster carcass.

I heard that Willard thinks that Rolf, the village blacksmith, is having a problem with his blast furnace, and his selling sub-quality iron.

My cousin is an hunter, and he swears that there's something odd in the copse of trees on the other bank of the river. He says that some trees are covered with a weird fungal growth. But he dares not picking those up.

>>18066950
>curse any disease

>>18067000
You've still got it, but the disease feels as rotten as you do.

The Jews did 9/11

Stay away from the manor near the cathedral if you know what's good for ye, traveller. There's talk that the occupant, the esteemed Baron of Allmimsy, is dying and experimenting with blasphemous magics, trying to stave off his fate a few years longer.

Now enough of this idle chat, vagabond. What'll be ta drink?

Cows keep going missing from the fields by the river.

No noise, no sign of struggle, just one less cow every three days or so.

>This happened in a campaign once. It was ghouls living in the river

The ousted Grand Marshall of that distant nation is searching for someone to keep his misappropriated fortune in gems and magic items outside of his troubled country for a while. Once things settle there, he wants it back but will accept to leave you up to 20% of the stuff, in monetary value - that's about 1,5 million GP !

All you have to do is to contact this wizard and advance the 120 GP he demands to set up the portal.

See poor ol' Gainsbrough over there? He's pretty messed up, I tell ye. His young lass died in her sleep, an' her mother did hang herself shortly thereafter. Prob'ly couldn't handle the grief, but who'd blame her.

But ol' Gainsbrough, he's nuts ever since. Claims he heard strange noises in their houses, such stuff. It's a pity really, allways was a lively and good fellow, and now that.

Did you guys heard?
One of those clerics are making that curse from the Bird God, making it contagious to us humans!

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/30/us-birdflu-who-risks-idUSTRE7BT0GO20111230

>>18067040

Pic quite related

"I saw a mudcrab once."

I hear a fellow in the next town's made himself a riverboat that moves with the power of fire and water.

>retaryve which

No, it's true, I heard it from the crier o' the fox!

I saw a fairy. No, really, I did. Little bastard was throwing fireballs at my daughter's cat. Couldn't catch it though. Little bastard. Cat ran away last night, and I heard an awful bit of ruckus, so I'm guessing that little bastard was out there doing it again. No my girl's out a pet and I got no idea WHAT that little bastard is going to throw fireballs at tonight.

>>18067120

No you didn't Eskel, mudcrabs aren't real.

>was uickeha

Most probably one of those, yes.

>>18067120

I saw a carcass crab once. their like giant mudcrabs that hide on battlefields, impaling the dead and dying on their shell for camaflague.

Their name comes from the terror of hacking at your dead and dying teammates while trying to defeat a 12 foot long or longer crab.

Most of them afterwards just star listly into space while intermittedly yelling

CARCASS CRAB COMES IN THE NIGHT!

>>I get up and go to leave the tavern
>>open the door
>>everyone do the talentasaur

Ol' Henry's kid is sick again. Sixth time since winter ended. Poor Henry. Feller lost his wife, now, knock on wood, he's fixin' to probably lose his kid, too. S'the way of things, I suppose.

the local monks have run out of food to supply us. it's gonna be a rough winter

>>18067074
Gainsbrough? Din't he move into his uncle's house few years back? Lived right next to my grandad. Odd fellow, Gainsbrough's uncle was. My grandad used to tell me he was really a snake, an' not just a snake of a man, but an actual snake! Grandad was always tellin' tall tales, o'course, but there's no denyin' Gainsbrough's uncle was a right peculiar sort.

>>18067180

Oh, they have food, alright. I heard word they had a bumper harvest. Tomkins the cooper says the new requilary is actually a new storehouse.

Does anybody remember that guy? You know. THAT one?

>>18067245

The one with the strange eastern swords, and the long silver hair? I heard he's half dragon, half demon, and half angel!

>>18067268
I'm not a math man, but that don't seem correct to me. Now, I know you're just repeating what he was telling everyone, but it still don't seem like that can be accurate. And if it were true, what kind of person just tells strangers he's all those things?

What was that guy's name again? Something chan..

I've heard that there is a talking turtle that sometimes crawls on top of people while they sleep and when they wake up, he asks for their help for something.

>>18067208

You talking of Edward Gainsbrough? Yeah, he sure is an odd fellow. And now that you say it, he really has something of a snake, cold eyes and all. But he never made any trouble, pays his taxes. Not a friendly fellow though.

They say, he once had a whore come into his mansion. Stayed there two hours flat and allegdly came back, covered in cold sweat and shivering like hell. But, ye know what they say.

>>18067268

Don't talk nonsense,boy. If that'd be true, he'd be 33% angel, 33% demon an' 33% percent dragon. Now what would the other 1% be, eh?

>>18067279
and how about that girl what was travelling with 'im. she sure was a looker, but something seemed a little... strange about her to me.

>>18067289
The other 1% of him, I'd reckon, was 'chosen.' Kept talkin' bout how he was the chosen one, after all.

>>18066964
And now for the weird part; so is his daughter.
I wonder whom old Dmitry will give the mill then?

>>18067308

Well, preacher says were all "chosen" by the gods for whatev' we do, so being "chosen" can't be to bad,can it.

Just wondrin, you know what he was "chosen" for?

>>18067289

What in the Makers name is a %? Is that one of those fancy things from the city?

>>18067427
Yeah, my boy came back from the city and splained it all to me. S'like saying you got one hundred parts. A % is one of the one hundred parts. So if you got yerself 50% then it's half of what you got.

>>18067436

So if 50% is one half what is the other half?

>>18067447
Arrows

I ran into a Cliff Racer once. Evil bastard chased me for two hours straight. I thought my legs were going to fall right off towards the end.

>>18067454
How did you escape?

>>18067457
Well... I didn't. I just ran in here. Damn thing's probably still outside. Check out the window...

>>18067464
I came here for some mead, not fighting some fucking Cliff Racer! You brought it, you deal with it!

SKREE SKREE

>>18067469

Why 're they called Cliffracers anyway. I mean, they fly around, they don't race along cliffs.

Tell you what, the damn name comes from the elves. They probably just called them cliffracers so us proper folks would avoid cliffs and eventually run into a cliffracer. Darn elves.

>>18067476
Aaaaargh! Leave me alone you vile thing!

>>18067447
It's also one half.

>>18067481

Maybe it is just hungry, throw some bread at it!

>>18067490

Hmm, I think it best if these % stay with the city folk. either something is or it isn't, we don't need these halfs of things that should be whole.

>>18067492
That's an idea... well, whatever works.

>>18067492
I got paid a decent sum once to transport one guy across some cliffs ones.
If bread don't work, just push someone infront of you and run like hell.

>>18067495
I don't fully understand it myself, but then again magic doesn't really run strong in my family.

>>18067476

>>18067496
Huh. Well... uh. I'm not really sure what's going on now. Ehhh.

... I think I'm just going to retire to one of the rooms upstairs and try to ignore it now. Tis a disturbing creature. And I am too tired to try and get rid of it any further.

>>18067516
Watch out for the second to top-step on the staircase. I heard if you step on it with your left foot it'll send you to a realm of clockwork machinery.

>>18067527
Sure it just wasn't your average skooma trip?

>>18067527

Shit is nasty at 3 am when you have had a few too many.

>>18067531
Hey, this is just what I heard.

Old man Tennison is hiring to help thatch his roof and expand his barn before winter. Also says he'd be happy to hire on another hand on his farm, says his blacksmith is looking for an apprentice. Good money in both jobs too, and you know he is good for it. Not to mention the roast and the treats that come out of his wife's kitchen.

>>18067557
That isn't the only treat you get from her, if you know what I mean?

I hear down south in the mountains they built an enormous forge. The thing is big like a castle, with blast furnaces of dwarven make. And it never is silent, even at night the work goes on.
The Lords fear they'd be raising an army. And for sure that's a concern. But the steel they make...
It is magnificent. You have never seen blades like this. They are long and thin, yet they cut like a woodsman's axe. The surface has a dark blueish tinge and lines flowing like waves down the length of the steel. And it is light.
I saw a merchant's guard on the great road who had a mustache and an accent. He showed me his scimitar. Called it his one and only. It was a blade like ancient elven work. Heft like a rapier, with a blade like a sword, only curved back. Well balanced. He swung it at a tree and went straight through a branch as thick as my leg. In one blow. Can you believe it?

>>18067427
>>18067436
>>18067447
>>18067490
>>18067495
>>18067498
I'm glad to see /tg/ still has that old charm that drew me here all those years ago.

Did ya 'ear, apparently some ol' bastards been runnin' around, putting adventurers like ye'self out of commission. Poor guards watch can't keep up, bless their souls, between all the applications for new guardsmen and sightings of these adventure attacks.

Hmm? Oh, how does he do it? Well I heard through one of the new guardsmen, one of those poor fellows who was attacked himself and had to retire from venturin', that the bastard uses a bow, incapacitates them poor boys and gals with a single shot.

At least we can be safe that if anything truly bad happens, we can at least outrun those hobbled guardsmen, what with all those busted knees and all.

Where did you hear that!?

A nearby kingdom is having it's annual scavenger hunt. The winner will be rewarded greatly for winning. It happens over the span of three days. Many of the items involve some form of danger in getting them.

Rumor has it that there's a great treasure buried under this taverns competitor across town. It could be buried under the floor or in the walls so make sure you destroy everything to find it.

Was a different land, five and twenty summers ago. Everything was so mysterious, and promised riches, and justice. Alas, I was a different man. My old heart still fills with sorrow when I think of all the times I should have died, and the times my friends did...

But what I meant to tell you was about the treasure. Under that old dragon's bones there was gold, so much gold. More than a hundred men could carry off. And no one can ever find it, that's the tricky bit, not unless you know...

Ah yes, dragons. Magnificent beasts they are. You hear the tales but when you actually see one in the flesh it still takes your breath away. So much power, a mountain of thick muscles. And then it flies...

I was quite the adventurer back in my day, believe you me. My companions and I, we saw it all. The sea burning from horizon to horizon,the city of the dead, a pile of gold larger than a ship, war eagles falling on a helpless phalanx, dragon fire! Nothing burns so fiercely I tell ya.

But the years go by. And the world changes. These days I value a warm ale and a spicy plate much higher than the promise of fame and fortune. Give me a warm fireplace any day. Let you young 'uns figure it all out. My days of slaying evils are done. Gotta get my rest.

Hand me that ember for my pipe, will ya? Ah yes. Always makes me sleepy, my pipe. Late too. Go bugger off, young 'uns.. I need my rest now. Go, find some hidden treasure or something. Respect your elders. And their rest now.

Did you know what happened last night in the townshall? It seems that the viscount was hiring a necromancer for looking for her missing daughter. And he paid to that necromancer some good money. It seems that the necromancer finally found the girl, but dear kerleen Gods, the girl was pregnant. The viscount at first was happy to see that her daughter had returned after many months away. But as soon as he proceeded to hug her, he felt the tummy. Martyrs of all sorts! The viscount became furious, and started beating the shit off the poor girl. He left her in the floor, crying and bleeding, with a broken nose. The necromancer laughed all the time. As the viscount was furious, he received a title, some land and a sword from the mayor, and carried on searching for adventures. Poor girl. I heard the viscount was planning to wed her with marquis Galderswald's only son. As the girl is cute, many noble houses are interested in a marriage. Or were. Nobody will want now to enter a marriage with the viscount's daughter, since she has been dishonoured. Who dishonoured her, you ask? I don't know yet, but it seems it was the former guardsmen captain, Jan Huissenberg. We haven't heard of him in months...

>Quest added: Investigate about Jan Huissenberg's whereabouts.

>>18073220
>The viscount became furious, and started beating the shit off the poor girl. He left her in the floor, crying and bleeding, with a broken nose. The necromancer laughed all the time.

Think I can go questing for these two instead?

>>18073248
Well, depends on your alignment, but why not?

>>18067589
Oh dear Gods, I want to go treasure hunting.

You know that family what owns most of the farms outside town? Some say they smell foul things on the wind coming from their manor - say they're cannibals, the whole lot.

Ridiculous, right?

>Used this in a campaign. The family had been banished to the mountains for cannabalism years earlier, but they still carried on their dark rituals.

>>18073394
>Quest: Meet the Lecters.

You haven't seen riders, have you? Big guys on huge black horses with bows and blades, stopping at every farm to search the barn? I don't know who they are, but they've been after me for 50 leagues. You won't tell them you saw me, right? You look like a trustworthy bunch.

Sure, I cut a few purses, climbed in some windows when the master of the house was out. But I never harmed nobody. I swear by the gods. Violence is not for me. Could have been a rich man by now, but no. Live and let live is what my old mother used to say.

Anyway I need some coin. Running is expensive you know? You look like you have a keen eye for business, and the coin to back it up. I have this egg here, some artisan's masterpiece, framed in precious metals and inlaid with gemstones. Very nice piece. Would fetch a pretty coin in any of the larger cities, no doubt. And a lover's gift worthy of a princess. Yours for a pittance.

Took it from the study of a lord or some such, up in the capital, alley behind the apothecary market. Sat all beautiful on a cushion of red velvet. It's all real, I have an eye for stones. And the lord I took it from had too much coin to keep cheap brasswork. Will make you all rich men once you find the right buyer. So what do you say?

>>18073737

>Quest: Meat the Lecters
FTFY

I heard that some merchant's been adopting a bunch of orphans from the church. The bishop is pleased, but I look at the nuns and they seem less than happy. What would a merchant want with 34 children?

New fellow in town, the bastard just struts around naked like he owns the place. Rumour has it he swam all the way here, and punches ghosts to death with his bare hands. What kind of psychopath would do all that naked?

You know the old clock tower? People say that the man who runs it has been doing it for fifty years and he looks as young as the day he turned twenty!
We don't say nothing though, he keeps to his and we keeps to ours. No one's hurting anyone.

>>Clock Keeper is a time lord. Or vampire, which ever suits the situation

You've seen the new couple in town right. A bright and happy bunch they are, always loving up on each other in public. It's almost indecent! They never leave each other's side. Though how that woman can stand a butcher who smells like rotting meat is beyond me. Wish they would jump in a lake.

>> Woman is actually a shapeshifted demonic parasite who is attached to the poor soul. He's pretty much a walking decaying corpse.

I hope somebody archived this.

>>18075266
Bamp to give them a chance.

>>18075266
>>18079511
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18066923/

>>18073853
The Gods play games with mortals, or so those with a heretical bent say, and games are all about numbers. Who is number one, the differences between a five and six pointed star, why thirteen is unlucky, that sort of thing. Thirty Four is another special number, I hear...
>Intelligence 7/8
But you don't look the type that can count beyond his fingers, so I'll let you get back to you're drink.

Saw a crow on a high branch this mornin'. Didn't peck at seeds like all the others. Just sat there, lookin'.

Was there again on the afternoon. Didn't fight for a shady spot like the others. Just sat there.

I swear it's outside right now. I can feel it. Can't see damn crows in the night. But I know, you hear?! I know.

I think... I think that Cliff Racer is finally gone...

All this, and nobody's talking about the war up north? The one that's rumored to have all them undead creatures in it?

How disappointing. I thought this town loved fluffy little critters...