You are N'oo'p, infantryman specialist Seventh Tent of the 117th SpearPoint brigade, and you are fucking hungry. The artillery-torn terrain of the terrible marshy shithole of an island Command is so hell-bent on capturing is littered with hastily dug huntyholes, with naught but a few helmeted heads peeking out here and there - even a few tentacles with mirrors, for the more paranoid. There's nothing even remotely like a "field kitchen" and your ride in here was blown into a huge-ass crashing fireball of shitty alloys and human Fail as it plummeted from the sky in exactly the way you'd expect a huge nautical cargo carrier to plummet, from the god-damned sky who even-- you steady your shaking tentacles, trying not to grasp the neck of invisible Commanders. Your rage is palpable, hot and potent - and it's making you EVEN MORE HUNGRY. >Scrounge for LOCAL SUPPLY>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies>Other?
PLANEFAGGGGGGGGGGGGG
in after panzer
>>19140485>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated suppliesWe need alium shit.
>>19140485PLANEFAG, I MUST SPEAK WITH YOU
PLANEFAAAAAAAAAAG!
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies
>Defect
>>19140485Enter the FLAMESGERALD. N'oo' gives no fucks.
>>19140485>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated suppliesWeek was rough, eh mate?
>>19140485Scrounge.>>19140531That's what the IRC is for, innit?
[X] Flamesgerald.This is the only path.
>>19140485EDMUND FLAMESGERALD>>19140556>implying Planefag pays attention to IRC ever
>>19140556He's never in the bloody IRC.
>>19140485Go to the FLAMEGERALD, we need our things and the local supplies may be bad for us.
>>19140485Scrounge for local supplyAlso, get in the IRC you, you, double email reader
>>19140547We might want to wait until we're some near the humans. High command wouldn't take that lightly.
>>19140578>Planefag>reading emails
Hold on a minute!Do we still have that unspeakable Bar thing? Either of them?
>>19140584>implying humanity doesn't gun down Martians on sight after all they've done
>>19140595Or cut, if we're Sean or Sakabro
>>19140593No idea. We might have ditched it.
>>19140485>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated suppliesAssuming there's anything left to scrounge. Seriously, what're the alium equivalents to brass and assholes? Because apparently they exist, and one of them thought to himself hey, let's fly our landing force across the channel in a flying freighter! There's no possible way THAT idea could go wrong! I IS TEH SMARTEST GENERAL EVAR HERPDERP
So, I assume you're busy?
>>19140603UNACCEPTABLE. The Bars are part of our official loadout now.
>>19140608>Implying Brassholes are EVER smart, regardless of species
>>19140608It wasn't a bad idea until some crazy earthlings came along.
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated suppliesOh did I have a feeling that we'd be hearing from N'oo'p this week
what manner of sorcery is this
>>19140568>>19140575Well, neither am, so what would I know?
You flumph closer to the huge column of oily smoke that marks your ride into this earthman hell-hole. Salvage crews are still busy slicing apart the ship to feed the autolathes, but deep inside the craft remain cargo bins that might yet be serviceable and un-charred. Deep into the old earthman vessel you go, sneezing constantly. They used it to move some nasty mineral shit, black powdered rock or something that burns but good. Or so they say. You came here to kill the pasty little bastards, not learn what they cook their barbaric bloody kills with.Wandering deeper into the ship, you're once again inside the tight passages and bulk-heads of the crew quarters, already cramped for an earthman, but at least designed with their dexterity in mind. Your tentacles have no room to move past each other, and it's a real bitch to sliiide through all the pipes and hoses and whatnot. Somewhere, deep in the ship, you hear a strange, echoing, tapping. Steel on steel. It's irregular, and rough, but it's there.>Investigate?>Just the blown-to-hell ship settling. Move it towards fresh rations.
>>19140642The flaming kind.
>>19140651Investigate.And I need youuuuu
>>19140651Investigate!
>>19140651>Just the blown-to-hell ship settling. Move it towards fresh rations.Fuck the rails!
>>19140651Investimigate, but we gotta make sure none of those earth meatsacs are around to kick us in our jorblocs
>>19140651>InvestigateCould be relevant. Also, when are we going to get to do a thread or two from Hellcow's pov?
>>19140651Investigate. Might be some space cadet that got stuck.
>>19140651Just the hull. Ignore the man behind the curtain.
>>19140642why can't I find bagfight.jpg when I need it>>19140657nuuuu
>Investigate?maybe we can eat it?
>>19140683God dammit Planefag, I am writing things and I need your help.
>>19140651Investigate.
>>19140691
>>19140651>NanolatheI love youalsoINVESTIGATE
>>19140683Does Bagserk help?
>>19140651DESTROY EVERYTHING.
>>19140651Investimigation time.
>>19140683Get in here, or we'll feed you to Hellcow
Wait tonight? I thought it said Friday fffffuuuuuu
Would trying to get N'oo'p killed count as metagaming? Does this mean he has quantum immortality?
Tapping sounds? In the ship? Trapped infantry yet remain! You prepare to flumph forward, human breaker-bar at the ready-"Wait," you say suddenly. "Wait just a darkness-cursed minute."The ship creaks and rattles and waits."I've seen this cinematic," you say sagely. "Yes. Many times. Best was in 'Out of the Noisy Planet,' in fact. I rush forward, eager to help, and rescue thirty trapped comrades from certain death, probably braving danger and destruction along the way."You pause dramatically in a silence that can only be called gestating."Yeah, fuck you, I'm hungry," you sneer, and flumph down the corridor, no fucks given. Clangy sounds are that way, and food is THIS way. Besides it was probably a trap or something completely unexpected, because "completely unexpected" just defines your life ever since you set tentacle-tip in this oxygenated shithole. So fuck that.As you finally exit the corridors and find a door leading to the cavernous, still burning cargo bays, you hear a horrendous rending of steel behind you, and turn in time to find an automated Hunter-Kicker droid ripping its way through a bulkhead behind you.And it looks pissed. >NOPE>FUCK YOUR RAILS AND DIE K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG>Other?
>>19140783NOPEAND I MUST SPEAK TO YOU
>>19140783>Surrender
>>19140783
>>19140783Pretend we are french
>>19140796You don't even have to pretend!
>>19140783>NOPE
>NOPEIt's what we do best
>>19140783>FUCK YOUR RAILS AND DIE K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG
>>19140783>NOPEMomma was smart on the day she named us.
>>19140783NOPE
>>19140783Nope.
>NOPEWe are N'oo'p, of course!
>>19140808Wait, that does mean killing the HK droid, right?
>>19140783Dont they have horror movies on Mars? Really should have NOPE'd out of there.
>>19140783NOPE with the force of a thousand suns.Food first. Killing annoying Deathbot later.
>>19140802>ChryssalidsPTSDDog.jpef
The Hunter-Kicker droid peels the bulkhead back with an annoyed shrug of synth-skin tentacles, like its wrestling with those *fucking* blister packages they sell everything in back home. "N'OOOOOOOOOOOOP," it roars with guttural rage."NNOOOOOOOOOPE," you scream back, a bit shrilly, and take off through the cargo hold at a dead flumph. Behind you, the synth-droid rips free of the bulkhead with tremendous power and gives chase. The hold is a flaming maelstrom in many places, but here and there between cargo containers knocked askew are sheltered areas where the flames haven't heated the steel painfully hot. Into these you flee."I JUST WANTED A K'RUSSH SAAAAMIIICH" you wail miserably. >Hide in one of those big cargo containers!>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!>OTHER?
NOPE.We are the Nopeonion, and this is what we do.>fellows. irongoa
>>19140861Ambushcade.WE NEED OUR SAMMICH DAMMIT!
>>19140861>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!It's hittin' time.
>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!
>>19140800
>burning ship>WAIT AROUND>best_plan.jpgCaptcha, the MGS "!" isn't a word.
>>19140861>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!Let's break us a Hunter-Kicker droid
>>19140861IT'S BOUNCING TIME!
and now for something different
>>19140861RUN
>>19140897This one's scarier.
>>19140897>mfw
>>19140897well we can sleep soundly that the soviet union wont fall to the invaders...god help us when the war is over tho
>>19140897Holy fuck, is that Balalaika in a Striker Unit?! RUN AWAY!>>19140904A-and REVY?!...Never mind. Don't run. There's no point.
>>19140881Aww they got vanilla pudding all over the Cossack.
We run like little bitch. With any luck the many pitfalls of the area will defeat it. Flawless plan.
>>19140897>>19140904All of my boners.
Thinking quickly, you duck into a crevice between two cargo containers, and draw back your human pry-bar, wishing fiercely that you'd brought that mighty human percussion-cap slugthrower with you. The sinuous, sliding sound of the HK droid's synthetic tentacles sliding over the steel decking sends shivers up your nervous system, and you tighten sweaty tentacles on your pry-bar in nervous anticipation. Your blow must be solid.It must be swift.IT MUST BE STAGGERINGLY POWERFUL.You wind up, and with a MIGHTY SWING you plant the crowbar in the kicker 'droid's head. The bar vibrates madly, and you struggle to hang on to it when the 'droid thoughtfully assists by plucking it from your hand. It pulls back with the bar, pulls waaay waay back up somewhere near the end of the ship, and whips the heavy steel bar down towards your skull with terrible velocity.You watch your death approach.
>>19140934>Vanilla puddinghue hue hue hue hue hue
>>19140947Catch the bar with our face.
The end of the pry-bar smashes into your skull with a mighty tickle.You blink. "YOU ARE IT" the droid states, and then turns and runs like hell.>How do you feel about this?
>>19140934That isn't pudding...
>>19140975Remain cool, get a sandwich and then play tag with the bot.
>>19140975This invasion is officially the most fucked invasion in the history of invading.Lets just go find a sandwich.
That droid is clearly our brother in Nope.That's cool.Let's get that damn sandwich.
>>19140978Ohh than it must be ice cream. That's mean man, you dont splash ice cream on a girl.
>>19140975*ahem*I believe I can summarize our feelings thus:"...wat. Fuck it, I'm getting a sandwich."
>>19140975Pic related.WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK OF PHOBOS?
>>19140975STILL HUNGRY
>>19140975GODDAMIT. Those Quizkids need to work out the kinks on these things
>>19140975>Uh.... what?
>>19140975Scared and aroused.... so a normal day for me. Get on IRC you aeronautical homosexual
>>19140975
>>19140975I feel like we need a sammich. Same as before, except maybe with the alium equivalent of a dry martini afterwards.
>>19140975Very confused. Fuck it, back to the food hunt.
>>19140975Well we are clearly it now, so we must catch him. After sammitch.
PLANEFAG:I contacted Lord Licorice and he sad he added the tags to the quest threads from last week.
>>19140975Fuck tag.Acquire food.
I come from a feels you may not understand
>>19141022Shit! Alright, everyone stay the fuck back and keep a hand on your wallets. And keep an eye on your kids, so they won't snatch them.
Here...here is your food.
>>19140987I don't feel comfortable explaining this to you...
>elite hunter killer bot playing tag with people.I am beginning to suspect that command is going to get us all killed or worse, tossed in some human prison camp.
As you watch your own god-damned Hunter-Kicker droid vanish into the flaming, smoke-choked stygian nightmare of an earthling nautical vessel converted to flying troop carrier - with your earthman pry-bar - you can only reach one logical conclusion.This shit would be a lot easier to tolerate with a sammich in-tent. Now that you've located the cargo containers, you start going through them one-by-one, checking the markings, until you locate one with general supplies. Cracking open the big access hatch, you manage to drag out a huge crate of delicious sammich, pre-made and ready to munch. Dragging the crate behind you with one tentacle, you munch on a sammich happily as you drag your prize past the charred bodies of your former comrades, huge, raging fires which was once tanks or valuable equipment, and of course pockets of noxious gasses and poisonous smoke, puddling in evil little clouds on the floor near the worst blazes.But this sammichis fuckingAMAZING.Then the 'droid hits you from behind. You stagger as it wraps its limbs all around you and begins the painful, harsh constriction that is the trademark killing technique of synth-droids. As pain floods your body and your vision dims, you can think of only one thing to say."TAG, YOU'RE IT!"The pressure enveloping you vanishes in an instant. "... FUCK," the bot says, chagrin. "TRAINING MODULE COMPLETED. INPUT ORDERS.">C:\>
>>19141048What's so hard about explaining mayonnaise?
>>19140987I know man, fucking mean assholes, must be that Kotters asshole too by the looks of it
>>19141063c:\>dir/w
>>19141063>DANCE THE CHARLESTONFuck this chickenshit outfit. It's time to go Full-Yossarian.
>>19141022>gypsiescalling bullshit, their outfits match AND fit them, ergo their outfits were made for them, ergo they can't be gypsies.
>>19141072
>>19141063Run nope.exe.Ride the droid off into the sunset.
>C:\> go graze grass
>>19141048Y...yogurt then? Is it yogurt?
>>19141063Carry this fuckin' crate as we get the fuck out of this charnel boat. Maybe get another one, too.
>C:\> DANCE BATTLE
>Return pry barAnd I have nothing else.
>>19141047Fuck, that's dirty.
>>19141064When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, sometimes the daddy puts sticky white stuff on the mommy's face.
So Martians instead o Witches this week? No objections.And dangit Captcha you better be working right this time.
>C:\> Give me back my goddamn bar
>>19141106Normal people don't just waste whipping cream like that.
>>19141063C:\> I am programmed to be as loyal as a puppy
>>19141063>C:\>Serve the Martian-God referred to as N'oo'p,.
>>19141063Make it our loyal steed.>>19141064It's quite simple, insert Rod A into Slot A, can also be inserted into Slot B. Remove Rod A and reinsert it into the selected slot. Repeat until Orgasm.exe is executed. Should you choose Slot A it is recommended you have Anti-Pregnancy software installed otherwise Pregnancy.zip will open and load Baby.file, unless this is what you intended. Be sure to scan for viruses before and after.I hope this explains it.
Name it hellcow
>>19141120Lost me.
>>19141120Magos, I have some screws left over... fucking Ikea.
>>19141077haha oh WOW
>>19141120So, wait. If you intend for Pregnancy.zip to open, it won't?
>>19141063>C:\> SET CURRENT USER TO {ADMIN}>C:\> IGNORE ALL {NONADMIN} PROMPTS>C:\> COMPLETE SAMMICH EVACUATION>C:\> IF COMPLETE THEN AWAIT FURTHER ORDERS
>>19141143All that armor
>>19141140This is a serious error. Go see your local apothecary.
>>19141156This.
>>19141063"Um," you say, uncertain. You are a proud member of the 117th SpearPoint Brigade, a combat demolitions engineer, hull-breacher, and general stormtrooper. Your job is to facilitate dynamically entering the FUCK out of things, places and people, not this tech-y shit.To say nothing of droids... being droids. They're twitchy as hell, heavily depended on psicraft to properly calibrate, and they've literally got minds of their own, which makes things a lot more touch-and-go when, you know, gigantic ships go smashing into the ground and rock their noggins. Or they go on extended assignment/patrol with only one set of orders and no handlers. Well, best not to take chances."Um, directory listing, slash... double-yew," you command."SEE COLON BACKSLASH CONTENTS OF MAIN DIRECTORY SECONDARY DIRECTORY TERTIARY DIRECTORY QUADRUPED DIRECTORY MAIN PROGRAM FILES SECONDARY PROGRAM FILES MURDERED PROGRAM FILES COMBAT TACTICS COMBAT TECHNIQUES OPSMANUAL EXTENDED_OPS_MANUAL PRIME_DIRECTIVES SECONDARY_DIRECTIVES TRAINING_MODES TEMP_FILES CONFIG-DOT-CMD GORILLAS-DOT-BAT MORE_GORILLAS.BAT APHRODITE_BALLZANG-DOT-EXE REGULAR BALLZANG-DOT-EXE LOGFILE.TXT KERNELDUMP-DOT-FNG DEADLY-OPERATING-SYSTEM-DOT-SHELL-EE-EX-TEE-""Oh fuck, slash P! SLASH P!" you scream at it, but you're too late. You sit there for another two minutes as the 'droid slavishly recites everything far, far too fast for you to follow.>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?>Activate a search-and-detain protocol?
>>19141156Well, if you're gonna be entirely sensible, sure.
>>19141158>An OscarWell, *that* poor bastard is a dead man. Might as well send him up in a balloon lawn chair.
>>19141138Well played.
>>19141155Anti-pregnancy software prevents it from opening. To open Pregnancy.zip, simply uninstall it.
>>19141143WELL PLAYED
>>19141175Load gorillas.bat
>APHRODITE_BALLZANG-DOT-EXEOh lord.
>>19141188>>19141192Well played.
>>19141175>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?SEAN HAS HELLCOWMC HAS PLANEIAN HAS PERRINE/GUNNO'OP SHALL HAVE MARSBOT
>>19141175Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?We're going to have a giant droid bot that acts like the martian equivalent of a puppy.
>>19141175>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training modeAll glory to the N'oo'p Alium.
>>19141175Follow-The-Leader. Alternately, get at the OPSMANUAL
>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?>Activate a search-and-detain protocol?Yes.
>>19141175Display the PRIME_DIRECTIVES.Failing that, >Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode
>>19141175\Delete SYS32
>>19141175Follow the leader. Pimp-bot is go.
>GORILLAS-DOT-BATNothing could go wrong if we run thisnopeNOTHING, SO LETS DO IT
>>19141206No, you fool, it's lunix.That's like linux, but from the moon.
>>19141216"It's a Lunix system! I know this!"
>>19141193"Uh..." you say, uncertain. "Gorillas-dot-bat?""LOADING!" the bot bellows. Suddenly, its many tentacles flex outward madly, and from hidden compartments in its rubbery flesh it produces small, curved sticks.They look a lot like... killysticks, in fact. Inferior to discs in every way, of course, but you suppose more space-efficient for internal storage. "PLAYER. ONE," the bot says. Your pry-bar lands at your feet. You pick it up, but the steel is slick with your own sweat and it slides from your tent-tip, clattering to the floor."BAD THROW. PLAYER. TWO!" the bot states, and flings a killystick at you with immense force. From about five feet away. Only your involuntary twitch at the loudness of the droid's voice saves you from a smack in the face.You're not saved from the concussive blast of the stick detonating against the cargo container behind you, though.SWEET FUCK THEY ASPLODE>NOOOOPE WITH OUR SAMMICH>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGE
>>19141074Catch 22 references don't phase planefag. Someone mentioned snowden a while back and he didn't get it.
>>19141237thats a real build by the way.fuck knows why they would use silly shit like that on the computers that are supposed to be making the dinosaurs not kill us, but there you go.
>Gorillas.bat
>>19141243>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGEYOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU ARE HUGE TARGET!CATCH AND THROW!
>>19141243FUCK IT LET'S DO BOTH1:Keep sammich in mandibles(???)2: Rock the orefreighter at killydisk3: Be moe with food in face
>>19141244I read that book like eleventy billion years agoI remember Red Badge of Courage better and I read that when I was, like, twelve
>>19141243/END PROGRAM GORILLAS.BATAnd then >NOPE
>>19141243Killydisk. Skills. They ate. The best.
>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGEThis is the one thing we can never NOPE from.THIS BAR OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER
>>19141159I asked Tarkus to assist me with the assembly, but then he just took off with it. Damn Blood Ravens.
>>19141243NOOOOOOOOOOOPE
>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGEWe are the greatest
>>19141243/end gorillas.batWE MUST OBTAIN SAMMICH.
How different can killysticks be over discs?
>>19141308>How different can X be over Y?this question...
mfw robot thinks it can beat us in killystick
>>19141330Distraction Italians.
KILLYDISC CHAMPION OF THE YEAR, ALL YEARS.WE'LL WIN IT SO MANY TIMES THEYLL RENAME IT THE N'OO'P CUP.
This is how, two minutes later, you happen to come tearing out of the burning freighter at a dead flumph, sammich clamped in your mouth, crate of sammich in your tents and bar in your free prime-tent as you flumph like HELL. "N'OOP!" somebody shouts, and you see S'pss and D'rrp being hustled along by an officer and a few weary-looking grunts some distance away. You alter course towards them, unable to scream past the delicious sammich in your craw."N'OOP, COME WITH ME IMMEDIATELY OR YOU'RE UNDER ARREEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the officer's voice devolves into a shrill scream as the 'bot emerges from the rent in the hull behind you, concussive-killysticks flying every which way through the air like a little rain of silver boomydeath. Tentacles and weapons go flying everywhere, and soon you find yourself in a ditch with D'rrp, S'pss K'dt and that officer. "DO SOMETHING," the officer says as a killystick tosses dirt over him from the rim of the ditch."Aren't you good with killysticks?" D'rrp asks desperately. "Nah, he's a disc player," one of the grunts chimes in. "He doesn't know sticks worth a damn."Is that so?IS THAT SO, FAGGOT!?
>>19141345>No Zuccini.Crix, I am dissapoint.
>>19141355> "He doesn't know sticks worth a damn."THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY
>>19141360>different unit
>>19141360you are really dumb
Great big fuckoff explosions in the quest.People talking about Italians in the thread.Nasuverse canon discussions in the IRC.All is well, children. All is well.
>>19141355FUCK NO! STAND UP!STAND THE FUCK UP!LET'S DO THIS SHINDIG!
>>19141355Bitchlunar better back the fuck up. We are THE SHIT at anything killy.
Flinging yourself up out of the ditch, ,you wield your pry-bar before you in both hands, and start smashing at incoming killysticks with wild abandon. Striking them side-on, away from the detonator cap, you're soon sending whizzing sticks every which way, including a few dangerously close to that prick of an officer. The steel bar is superior to the usual defense-stick, strong and very light. Fuck tourney-legal. Today, you are STICK-FIGHTING CHAMPION. And finally, with a mighty blow, you smash a killystick right back at the 'bot. It impacts right in the kisser and sends it skull-over-tentacles backwards, landing in a tangled knot of defeated tentacles.You rest your weapon across your tent-tops, and slouch back arrogantly. "I said, I never had much USE for one," you drawl with supreme confidence. "Never said I didn't know how to USE one.">Go with officer>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody>Else?
>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybodyDuh.
>>19141408Punch bot in skull to establish dominanceWe showed him who the boss it, he will be our loyal companion and steed for the rest of time.
>>19141408>Punch bot in skull to establish dominanceBITCH IS NOW OUR PET
>us>bad at trowing shit.you damned mother-tangler! ill show you 'shit at sticks'
>>19141386Nasu? Where?
>>19141371No. Just not canon obsessive as you.>>19141408Must assert dominance.
>>19141408>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody
>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybodyVGTG
>>19141408>Go with officer but refuse to surrender sammichIf we don't go, they might take our sammiches away.
>>19141408>AbscondTime to do what we do best!
>>19141408Eat sandwich while going with officer.Make sure you talk through it. "Shur?"
>>19141408>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance
>"I said, I never had much USE for one," you drawl with supreme confidence. "Never said I didn't know how to USE one."now give the baby back to the aboriginals so they'll save us from the redcoats.
>>19141408>Punch bot in skull to establish dominanceWe will have our pet.
>>19141450
>>19141492Planefag,Everyone on IRC is you.Love,Demetrious
Storming over to the downed 'bot, you stand above its miserable tangle of tentacles and raise your bar high."THIS BAR OF MINE," you scream madly, "GLOWS WITH AN AWWWESOME POWER!" You turn it in the meager island sunlight, letting the sunbeams glitter and shine along its blue-black surface. The 'bot trembles as it witnesses the majesty of the simple weapon that laid it low."QUALIFICATIONS COMPLETE," the 'bot states, rising to its feet. "FIELD ASSIGNMENT - MADE. INPUT ORDERS."Well, who are you to argue?"Follow me.""AFFIRMATIVE." "Better yet, tow along that sammich crate. Defend it from anybody except me.""AFFIRMATIVE."The officer opens his mouth, one tentacle-tip poised in the air as if making a minor objection."Do you think that officer would enjoy having his tentacles rammed up his elimination tube?" you ask the 'bot kindly.The bot turns its cold, artificial eyes to the officer, whom shrinks back."NEG. A. TIVE."For all their flaws, damn, when they shine, do they shine.
>>19141534>DemetriousSo is PF black? This has been bugging me for months.
>>19141546
>>19141546He's Greek. He's probably the one who covered adorable cossack in yogurt.
>>19141546Should that even matter?
>>19141544>Defend it from anybody except me.Oh god yes.
>>19141552Neat
>>19141544Set Killbot's name t Ah'nld Zchwa'rznegr
>>19141546No, we were just dicking around in IRC
>>19141563>greekpay debts, planefag.
>>19141566No.
>>19141578Fuck debts, acquire witches
>>19141563
>>19141584My point exactly.
I love obscure jokes!
I'm just gonna leave this here...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW1Sv29C59U
>>19141578DO I LOOK LIKE A BHANKDO AH WHELL DO I
>19141601Were you the guy who got mad at me for saying niggers are obnoxious?
>>19141593
>>19141611OH FUCK YOU
>>19141628Shut up and save it for later.
>>19141611GOD FUCKING DAMMIT PANZER
>>19141614Oh course not. Banks have money.
>>19141623Someone else asked me to post it.. I forget who it was though
>>19141653I didn't do it! I swear!http://www.mediafire.com/?dl5jo68valn5tI only upload shit to mediafire! Youtube is for idiots... And you couldn't handle my canadian accent eh?
>>19141345Good heavens what's wrong with the mouth on...whoever that is on the far right?
"... okay," the officer says at length. "Um. Anyways. Command wants to de-brief you.""Good for them," you mutter through your sammich. The officer takes a step forward. "You don't understand, they-"The bot tightens his tentacles around the sammich crate and snarls menacingly, sending the officer scampering away. "Uh, I mean, they want to fly you out. Of here." You stop mid-bite. "Ouff off thish shish-hole?" you say with a mouthful of food. "Yes! Yes!" the officer says hurriedly. "And I can take D'rrp and S'pss and my new friend and my sammiches with me, right?"The officer shakes his head. "Come on, you know better then that."You shrug your tent-tops. "Oh well. Guess I'll stay in this pocket surrounded by earthman armies shelling us constantly until we're all killed, with nothing to lose and a powerful hunter-kicker droid at my beck and call. Fuck, I'm bored. We should play t-""FINE FINE FUCK," the officer shouts, flinging his tentacles up in exasperation. "TAKE THEM ALL WITH YOU I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" He flumphs off in a huff, looking extremely pissed.Well, that went well.>Actually fly out?>Fuck da police, stay in the Pocket and go your own way>If you do that, where/what do?
>>19141685>Actually fly out?Fuck yes. Lets get the fuck out of here.
>>19141685WE UNLOCKED NEW ZONE?Let us go and liberate their munchies from the horrid earthling oppressors.
>>19141685FLY AWAY NOW
>>19141685Actually fly outWe BEST GET PROMOTIONS AND OR MEDALS OUT OF THIS
>>19141685>Fly the fuck outta here.>Go back to Normandy.>Become Supreme Commander on Earth.>FUCK DA POLIZ.
>>19141685>Actually fly out?Let's leave this hellhole. Probably to be sent to an even worse hellhole but fuck it.
>>19141685Get the fuck up out of here.
>NOPE the fuck outta this shithole
>>19141655
>>19141685TIME TO GET OFF THIS SHITHOLE, ACQUIRE BITCHES, AND EAT SAMMICHES.
>>19141673..I hate you. So. Fucking. Much.
>>19141714Why would you hate me? You hate communism? My feeling is crushed....
>>19141723You only had one feeling?
>>19141728Not anymore
>>19141741>Sexualizing both our surrogate little sistersI hate you
>>19141741Well now you can be a soulless killing machine.
>>19141728It's communism, he had to give the others to his feel-less товарищи.
>>19141744Nope that looks pretty clean to me. You've just got your mind in the gutter, you pig.
>>19141741>Adorable cossack with adopted little sisOnly if they manage a co-op bounce on the MEHREENS shall we bless this union
>>19141744That's Panzer for you. Most of the time he's a good guy, but once in a while...
>>19141741
I don't know how much it matters, but I still love you Panzer[nospoileron/tg/]I really just need a reason to noko since I cleared my cookies and cache.
rolled 87 = 87>>19141741So what was crushed, and which did you find?
>>19141786Get 4chanX>>19141775Most of the time he's an attention whore
>>19141723>My feeling is crushedBy lieutenant Hartmann?
>>19141800Would feelings take more or less kg of force to crush than a testicle?
Oh and Kotters~For old times' sake~
>>19141817The tensile resistance of feelings are approximately 123 KGs/cm
>>19141826>Forgetting your tripShit Panzer, get it together
>>19141817Depends on the person.
>>19141817I think it would depend on the feeling. Hate would be quite resilient. Love, it all depends on how the force is applied, more than how much.
>>19141826>>19141832
>>19141826Was wondering why I kept getting duplicate fild found
>>19141875Sorry 'bout that. You snooze, you lose.
Several hours later, you're crammed into the cargo compartment of a light cargo craft, flying near the Earth out of the enemy island and towards friendly territory on the far side of the big straight. Curled up in the cramped quarters, you grimly munch on another sammich as your new 'bot purrs softly in sleep-mode, recharging its internal biosack-cells or whatever the hell it calls 'em. "So," S'pss K'dt calls from the front, where he's letting the primary pilot do most of the work. "You've been quiet.""I'm trying not to think too much," you tell him. "Because when I do I remember I'm thirty million miles from home and surrounded by kill-crazy aliums.""Don't you want to know why Command wants you?""Does it make a difference? They've screwed the sarlacc six ways to sunrise, man. What difference does it make, really?""Might make a lot," Sp'ss K'dt replies. "According to rumors, you're the first Martian to stand within six feet of those Earthlings you slammed the door on and survive." "They were males," you snort. "I thought Command was shitting their pants over those psionic bints.""PSEUDO-psionic," Sp'ss stresses. "We really don't know exac-""Oh my apologies," you cut him off. "They use OTHER psionics. Come on. They fly around with itty bitty units, they summon energy with no other possible source, they block masers and rockets with flashy shields - psionics. Durr."
"No, man," Sp'ss says, swiveling his chair around to face you. "They're different. They're really, really different. They say that plane that hit your transport was putting out jamming and ECM like...""Like what?""Like a Martian."You lower your sammich, grave-faced. "Like, *proper* psi/electromagnetic-""Yeah.""... captured Martian? Captured tech?""Psionic humans?" Sp'ss counters. "And if THEY'RE psionic, then what the hell are their FEMALES using?"You both ponder that quietly. >Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?>What's Command's take on this?>Other question?
>>19141917>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?
>>19141917>>19141913Shit tenticles, eat sammich
>>19141917>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ssinb4 Sp'ss was the ace we dueled.
>>19141917>>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?Martians confirmed for gnomes.
>>19141917>What's Command's take on this?
>>19141917"Did we... did we ever come here in the distant past and knock up a girl or two?"
>>19141913>sarlaccMah nigga
>>19141917Ask Sp'ss
>>19141659>>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?
>>19141917>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?The fuck you say?
>>19141935
>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?
Suddenly, plot relevant shit in N'oo'p Quest
>>19141917>like a martianSo, men are from mars?
>>19141957PLANEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG
panzer is a poophead
>>19141964NO CRIX NO
>>19141950NOPE.
>>19141957More importantly, is venus filled with a beutiful all-female race who must be taught this earth custom of kissing?
>inb4 its mad gnome skillz on a radio being mistaken for psionics
>>19141964>Looks like you're even less popular than me"perrine sniggersOH SNAP
>>19141993JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK MANTHATS THE FUCKING ADORABLE COSSACK WHY WOULD YOU
what a shame
>>19141996Give us some sugar
>>19142048That sure is some strange carapace placement.
>>19142048>>19142046>>19141975Okay, okay, enough.
>>19142052Her Hivefleet absorbed the biomass of Planet Vallejo X.
>>19142048MAKE IT HAPPEN PLANEFAG
>>19142079>Posting via chant>Can't delete posts>Whatcouldgowrong.jpg
>>19142079I wishI couldHate youTo deathSigned: Anon
>>19142102>>19142094
>>19142102
>>19142079Mods getting involved over pictures of fapfic? Really?I mean, I know quest threads pull in normalfags and newfags by the dozen, but really?
>>19142161just ignore him
>>19142194I try~
I sat down "for just a second" and woke up about twenty minutes later, so I'm bowing to the inevitable and calling it a night. I'll try to run either n'oop or the Quest proper either tomorrow night, or Saturday or Sunday night. Stay tuned, I guess. My brain s durf.
>>19142173I recall the last time people were saying similar things in SWQ. It ended with my posts being deleted, me being banned for the wrong reason, and a chump driving me out to Brownwood to get lunch.Not saying I didn't deserve the ban, but the reason was silly.>post NSFW in SFW board>get banned for spam/advertisingI'm not making any sense from that.
>>19142236Get on irc you, you double planefag!
>>19142236But I must speak to you!!
>>19142236Alright, planefag, go sleep.
>>19142236Shame. Well, the thread's archived, so you can sod orf.
>>19142236Do you type quests standing up? Thanks for the N'oop quest though.
>>19142236A'ight. See you tomorrow.
>>19142236get some rest airialvehicalsexual
>>19142236Go sleep. Troll Panzer. I'll keep his tears safe for you.Boo-yah. No archive tonight since it's not SWQ.
>>19142236Night Metallic flying apparatus nonheterosexual
>>19142297That is seriously just the cutest thing. I want a pet sloth.
>>19141964>>19142042>Making an image from my boardI like you, that's why I'm going to kill you last.
Why is this thread so terrible, aside from OP?
>>19142297Ill run TWQ tomorrow unless planefag cockblocks me. I'll start at 8:00 just to be safe
>>19142339Because it's SWQ. It's always like this. No exceptions.But it's worth it.
>>19142339Go away summerfag, you know nothing of SWQ.
>>19142362Needs more sanya though
>>19142372In his defense, this place has become a bit of a circlejerk. I'll attribute that to anons not caring about N'oo'p though.
>>19142316
>>19142339That's how quests normally work. Except when the bloke running it is also terrible. Which is the real norm for quests.Are you new to quest threads?
...
>>19142444What did that PzIV ever do to you?!
>>19142575It's pretty low res.
>>19142585Yeah...And it's actually a PzIII/IV.
HEY GUYSGUYSHEYSOME FAGGOT WAS WRITEFAGGING STUFF ON /d/IT'S NOT WITCHES BUT I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT ANYWAYhttp://pastebin.com/8YYuG5z7Times like this I wish /d/ had an archive page that isn't chanarchive. Only half of the first thread is archived (search for jet porn), and everything after that has been deleted by janitors/mods before being archived.Also author's Tumblr:http://a-10writer.tumblr.com/
