So, I ran a campaign recently, which had three excellent players in it, but we never quite got a fourth that fit. Over the course of the four months that we played the game we went through four different that guys, the campaign ending before we reached a fifth.>The First>Played an alcoholic Chinese martial arts woman that was also blind>Would drink like a fish but complain violently whenever she received any penalties to anything whatsoever for being drunk>Not a drunken-fist style monk or any character that would not normally be penalized for drinking, just a Chinese monk that was an alcoholic>Walked around naked and lied, blatantly, about crimes committed while doing so, somehow not understanding that the odds of the barkeep being mugged, molested, and beaten within an inch of his life by a second travelling naked drunk chinese woman in town would be negligible at best>Finally kicked out of the party when the other players flat out told her that they would not condone her murdering an orphan child because of a wooden-necklace that she for no reason believed had magical properties and was actually an Imperial Chinese Heirloom that was her birthright
>>19431295>The Second>Played a religious zealot cult leader of a demon they made up that was later revealed to just be stolen from a Touhou (sic?) game.>Turned almost every encounter into a moral and ethical dilemma about the rights and wrongs of religion even places where religion had no place whatsoever.>Set fire to a farming village behind the party's backs because of an OOC argument about how Christianity didn't even exist in the setting and his problems with religion were ruining the game for the other players.>Showed up to one session so sick that he had to get up in the middle, go to the bathroom, throw up and sit on the toilet for a half an hour, and then insisted we continue to play with the bathroom door propped open.>Eventually kicked out when he asked another one of the players to marry him due to minor advances and flirtation between their characters over a few sessions across a timespan of less than a month in real life.
>>19431295Is that it? That's not going to keep me up at night.
>>19431349Marry him as in real life?
We've had a guy just get his dick out under the table, it was like half an hour before anyone noticed apparentlyThat was his first and last sessionHe didn't even seem that weird while we were playing
>>19431351Patience.>The Third>Starts out seemingly normal, is a bit of a neckbeard, large guy, socially-inept, but nice, playing normal bread and butter character with average roleplaying ability.>Shows up the next session wearing a shirt that probably hasn't fit him in two years and thirty lbs.>Belly button is clearly exposed, and lint can be SEEN protruding from it.>Either has some sort of condition or has just not washed his body long enough/somehow managed to get an infection in his belly button.>Entire area around it is pink, swollen, and looked wet.>Stench was emanating from him, burning the senses of everyone else at the table.>Game tries to progress anyway.>Fourth hour, game is now in the final third.>He begins idly picking his belly button with one fat finger while we're having a ten minute break.>The noise is like someone playing with wet silly putty or mashed potatoes.>Everyone in the room cannot help but turn to see him staring off into space, blissfully unaware that he has an audience for his little game.>He pulls his finger from his belly button, a wad of god knows what on the end of his finger, proceeding immediately towards his mouth.>Stops halfway to his mouth, intent to eat his treasure quite apparent to us all.>Looks around and notices he's being watched.>Awkward thirty seconds of silence and staring.>Calmly gathers his things, mutters that he must go, and leaves, nobody moving or saying anything until a full two minutes after he has left.
rolled 4 = 4>>19431351Patience. OP still has two more That Guy stories left, and I'm sure he's saving the best/worst for last.
>>19431409Yes. Real life, get married. It's not entirely clear whether he was sincere or joking, because he continued to pitch this prospect in a joking manner, but...in that kind of way some people do something that they're definitely serious about but just don't want to confess that it's a serious suggestion or proposal. Like someone who will bring up five or six times in an hour that everybody should go do something else, laughing while saying so.It's hard to explain, but maybe you know what I'm talking about
>>19431420Seriously?
>>19431420ahahahahahahahahahaha oh wow
>>19431420brb, puking.
>>19431351 here. >>19431420 just shut me up.
>>19431420
The fourth story must be amazing
>>19431420That is horrifying, OP. Tell me That Guy #4 couldn't be worse than that.
>>19431420what the fuck, man, where do you find these wretches?
CAN NOT BE UN READ
>The Fourth>A bit more unapproachable than The Third, quite obviously That Guy from the outset, unlikable, no sense of humor, but not as bad as some.>No real option for repairing things with The Third, however.>All of the usual fare that you would expect.>Character concepts originally pitched are a catfolk bard that plays no instrument and sings catsongs for their talent, a 7 year old half-ogre chainfighter girl for which he already had a build (the INT score was 5), and a homebrewed monster race that, while not being as broken as some 3rd party races, was quite clearly fetish fuel.>Six full pages of backstory involving the monster race and how their internal organs are designed for nothing more than the most perfect digestive process of anything and everything they put in their mouth.>Stomachs are practically black wholes by which they turn any material into a moldable substance that eventually cools to be nearly the equivalent of adamantine.>Yes, aside from these specifics, the race was not all that broken, there was simply a massive amount of development about the digestive process of this monster race that screamed fetish.>Begged and pleaded for days on end, missing the first session they were supposed to join because they absolutely could not come up with an idea that they liked that was NOT a member of this race.
>>19431535There is a fetish like that? Could someone give me a name for it?
I dunno, man. After >>19431420, >>19431535 just isn't cutting it.
I try not to disappoint. I only ever show my face around here when I've accrued at least one shocking story. I hope I met your expectations! And please, after this, feel free to share your own.>Finally given the okay to play one session as a character of this race under the stipulation that the DM could at the end of the night refuse without giving any reason.>Play a one-shot that doesn't tie into the campaign at all, specifically made for testing this player and his character.>Over the course of five hours, he tried to eat seven living things, including a baby, pushing the limits of everybody's patience each time trying to extend the length of encounters and scenes to get more details about the death struggles of the devoured things.>Not just living things, but things of actual value as well, spell components, things he pilfered from other players, money.>Imagine the rogue in your party who simply must loot everything not bolted down. Now imagine that he ate the items to shit them out into moldable feces he then used to make custom armor.At this point, alcohol was busted out and we continued on in morbid fascination as The Fourth pretty much began to run his own game for himself, the DM not saying a word in almost forty minutes as The Fourth detailed the process of smithing up his shitwear. When he finally realized (or his arousal peaked) that nobody was playing anymore, and everyone was lightly buzzed, he asked if we all felt like maybe just going to the park to watch the meteor shower, continue drinking, and just talk. After all, he said, he brought a blanket and pillows.
>>19431535what the fuck man
>>19431420Was his name Luke?
>>19431577WHAT
>>19431580Joey, actually.I feel bad, because all other things considered he was tolerable, pleasant, and a genuinely nice person.
>>19431573Eats shrunken party members and turns them into statues?I dunno, would be vore and transformation, maybe shrinking too.
>>19431577FUCKING WAT
>>19431577That story makes me feel the need for a cold shower.>>19431573My guess would be vore. They're weird about eating.
>>19431625That shit turned you on?Da fuck bro
>>19431577>After all, he said, he brought a blanket and pillows.>mfw
There are things just below the surface of your tabletop community that many of us have never dared to have nightmares of, things that you simply could not believe actually exist. Levels of social retardation that mystify and baffle the normal human being.I wish I had my previous two threads saved somewhere to show you the earlier stories. I think I'm something of a magnet for these people.
Jesus. I play with actual furries and haven't seen problems as bad as this.
>>19431666WHY, SATAN? WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
>>19431666My interest is piqued, what are they like?
>>19431658No kidding. I remember the story that indirectly resulted in your name on here.At least your group is never bored, I guess?
>>19431694The Skunk Princess. Yeah, that was the first, really. The first real story. Every once in a while when everyone else has gone home and it's just me and my best friend left, we'll have a glass, sit back, and just shake our heads, wondering.Wondering how someone could get mad at a coaster.
>>19431619More along the lines of scat
Oh gods and demons, OP, you and your group have some awful luck. These are some of the most horrifying That Guy stories I've ever read.You get a special consolation prize for that.
>>19431707Is the Skunk Princess in the archives? I haven't heard it.
>>19431716Thank you! Oh, the coasters I shall buy!So, tell me about That Guy, /tg/!
>>19431680Never played with any myself, but I imagine depending on how Furry they were, it could range from just wanting to play a beast race to showing up in a fursuit.
Alright, OP. What's #5?Come at me bro. Let's do this.
>>19431714Freaks who like to eat people also like to shit them out.
Fuck you, from the catalog it looked like you were the lost quest master.
>>19431741There IS a 5th in the works, but it remains to be seen whether or not she will become That Girl. The campaign we were playing ended before the need to try and fill that fourth slot became great again.Also, I dunno if it's archived someplace, but it would've been back in...about this time of 2011? That's roughly when I posted my first round of That Guy stories, before being dubbed the coaster nazi.
I had a That Guy story that ended with me deciding to leave him with the group and bail, since the GM wasn't doing anything about it.>make party face gunslinger, mediocre in all stats because of the rolling system (and I'm okay with that)>he makes a barbarian custom race with weapon proficiencies, -4 int and -2 cha penalty, and natural poison>ends up shoving me out of party face role because he types faster and can apparently roleplay up to 15 CHA and 13 INT levels, despite having 6 and 10 respectivelyOver Skype.
>>19431729Shall I regale you with tales of Greg, the That Guy who got banned from my campus for making rape/death threats against one of the other female players in my group? And his fat otherkin BFF?Pretty sure I told this story on /tg/ once before, but WHATEVER.
>>19431707Is that the story with the skunk person whos farts shrank people?
>>19431794Please do.
>>19431794Yes, you shall.
>>19431794Do it.
>>19431794TELL US!
>>19431795Wait wait what.I wanna hear this now.
>>19431795Hold.The.Fuck.Up.Tell me about...tell me about this. I must hear this story.Also I wanna know about Greg.
>>19431794FP OY GSHHPY!
>That Guy thread>half the stories are so outlandish there's no possible way for them to be true>everyone but me believe them as gospel>behold mine countenance
>>19431680>>19431677Half my internet friends ended up being furries or quasi-furries. A lot of em aren't actually the stereotypical crazy dramawhores, though if you go further along the grapevine you can find those pretty quickly.I think because they get all their fetishes and fapping done with in their own RP they don't (usually) feel the need to insert them into group RPGs.
>>19431739Not the guy you lot are referencing, but most if not the entirety of my group are at least a closeted version of the former. It's honestly not horrible, they're entirely intelligent and reasonable people (except the canadian, but we keep him around to poke fun at) that just so happen to enjoy playing animal people. Short of having a certain level of seriousness taken away from how I see the tone of things and having to ask politely if they'd be okay with something that doesn't have talking animals in it from time to time (pretty much all of them are), there's no particular difference between them and a "normal" group of people.
>>19431847>they don't (usually) feel the need to insert them into group RPGs.That sounds ominous. Do you have anything to share?
>>19431839Lols at people posting in /tg/ who are unable to suspend disbeleif for the sake of fun. Yeah we get they probably arent true but we re also not so autistic as to not be able to appreciate a good story.
>>19431819I don't know if it's in the archives or not but I remember reading it on here. That's all I remember of the story.
It is honestly beautiful, the amount of joy that fills /tg/ whenever it's storytime.>>19431839I dunno man, some crazy shit has happened in this world. Who knows.
>go to a D&D Games Day>everyone at the table seems okay, although one is extremely flamboyant (I saw him last week, his hair is pink now)>We all choose our characters and get a miniature to fit them>"I'll be using this one, instead">puts down a pony miniature, it's kinda too big as well so it constantly almost knocks over the miniatures next to it>at least three times he swaps the pony miniature with another one (how many does he carry around?)>thankfully, doesn't make in-game references, but constantly tries to kill the NPCs that we need and brags about "when I play a cleric, I'm sooooo random! killing is fun!">a few times when we're not in combat he walks away from the table and starts discussing a Pathfinder game he's playing about a pony civil war with a guy wearing a pony shirtAs much as I try not to hate people based on fandoms, people like him really don't help.
>>19431839There are people, who are in fact, really this bad.Just get out of your house for a while.
After some googling about, it seems that my threads were archived on suptg. Feel free to have a gander at those, but I'm still much more interested in the fresh content about to drop in here.For those who wanna see the great Coaster Derail of 2011 and other That Guy Woes, here they are.>The Great Coaster Derail of 2011http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15719907/>That Guy Woeshttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/15730816>That Guy Stories to Keep You Up At Night (Second Story involves fetishy goodness)http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/15721095
>Playing Vampire the Masquerade>Playing with some random smo my storyteller brought over.>I'm playing a malkavian, player 1 is playing a caitif, player 2 is playing a ventrue, and new guy is playing a brujah.>I notice the new player isn't really getting into it. I ask what's up?>"My character has autism" he says matter of factly.>Wanted to ask if he did too.>Later on he punches the prince in the face and blames sperg rage.>Character is staked he runs from the apartment crying.
>>19431859Nothing much of a story, and I wasn't playing that game in any case, just a friend of mine didn't realise there's a difference between what's appropriate in one on one and group RPs.
>>19431794Yes Anon - you must deliver! We are fascinated by the train-wrecks of society know as 'That Guy/Girl'. Tell us more.
>>19431895I actually support your cause of coasters. I just have a glass table right now so I don't have much of an issue with it. Just people rolling their dice to hard. But I have a mat down so it doesn't risk hurting the glass.
>>19431879Believe me, these guys are an embarassment to the silent majority of sane ponyfans too. It was meant to be a secret nerd shame, something you don't take too seriously and reference subtly, not... not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!
>>19431839Do I exaggerate? A little. There's a tiny bit of flavor added in every story, I won't lie about that, but it really is minor, for the most part these stories really happened.One of the other stories I posted above I think also pertains to vore. I think when it comes down to it, the kind of person you encounter who's so socially disconnected from the more normal members of the community that they'll try and fit their fetishes into their character are usually also ready to go off the deep end with it. It's a fine line between, 'Well, I like vore/transformation/googirls, and I'm not just masturbating right in front of these people so what's the harm if I swallow the pixie/polymorph daily/fuck a googirl?' and 'THE ONLY THING I AM HERE TO DO IS TURN ALL MEN INTO FUTAS.'
>>19431895I glanced at that thread and NOPE'd the hell away when I realized there are people who are violently opposed to the host deciding how you use his furniture.
>>19431896looks like you got your answer then
>We keep having groups with rather awkward people, but we can just kick em out.>This guy keeps writing about them in his notebook.
>>19431802'kay.I guess I'll start with a quick rundown of the group. I'll also mention right from the get-go that this was pretty much my second game of 3.5e ever.>Me, the Unreliable Narrator. I played a half-elf monk because lolfists.>Greg, the primary That Guy. I didn't realize it at the time, but he very obviously had some kind of fetish for or preoccupation with rape. Spoke at Autism Volume and played a gnome cleric.>The DM, who was a total bro, especially for a furry. Had a Thri-kreen DMPC he used to keep Greg in check. (Joseph Smith, don't fuck that nymph)>Lardpire, the fat otherkin I mentioned. He claimed to be wiccan or some shit, liked to wear a trenchcoat despite looking as acrobatic as a freight train, and claimed to have every psychiatric disorder you've ever heard of. Also had a monstrously bad case of eczema which he obviously was not treating correctly.>Girl #1, who was boring and we won't discuss. She contributed virtually nothing to the campaign. Oh, and she was dating Greg.>Girl #2, who we shall call Princess Tinyfeet. She was born with only one arm, was unbelievably nice, and was pretty much the only person I liked in the group other than the DM. Guess who got threatened with rape? Go on, guess.>Girl #3, Bride of Lardpire. Wanted to play an Anne Rice-style vampire in the campaign, which the DM allowed because she was a complete crybaby.
>>19431985did the one arm girl have rocking tits?
>>19432016Greg?
>>19432016gtfo greg
>>19431985This story sounds oddly familiar.
>>19432026>>19432033If I was Greg, I'd totally know.
>>19432039Well, I haven't heard it, so let the man regale us.
> college campus gaming group many many years ago...> Playing in Call of Cthulhu game.> Group is 5 / 6 guys - and on girl. Traci.> Traci wasn't 'That Girl' in game - i.e. no stupid PC stuff.> In real life Traci was slightly on the heavy side. > Average looks. Except for the 36 DDD boobs.> And she HAD TO HUG every guy at the table.> It was like a genetic imperative for her.> And woe to the male that showed the least bit> of interested, as the attention was non-stop.> My buddy starts referring to her as...> "The Mountains of Madness"> MFW - have to bite my tongue not to laugh during games.
>>19431968I have to ask. How do you manage to get so many That Guy/Girl stories? Did you break a lot of mirrors as a kid.
>>19432086>The Mountains of MadnesspffffthahahahaThat's fantastic.
>>19432093You play a lot of RPGs with randoms, it's fairly inevitable you run into assorted crazies. TRPGs attract them for various reasons.
>>19432093Considering the three other threads he posted, id say he broke the entire god damn mirror factory.
>>19432093A gypsy touched me once and said, "That Guys."But in actuality, we just have an extensive list of friends and friends' friends' and friends' classmates' friends' and so on. For every That Guy story I have there's three or four games that were devoid of anything shocking or even noteworthy.
>>19431985I type pretty fucking slow, so bear with me, guys.If I were a more experienced player, I would have salted the game table and abandoned it immediately. At the very beginning of our first session, Greg was already asking (only half-jokingly) if he could play Pun-Pun. The DM had to veto it like three times. Instead, he rolled up a gnome cleric who, and I'm pretty much quoting directly here, "looks like Motoko Kusanagi in a chainmail bikini". So yeah, purple-haired chaotic neutral midget. We're off to a stellar fucking start. Lardpire wanted to play a Tiefling rogue, big surprise. Tinyfeet creates an elf sorceror, and the other girls go bard and rogue, respectively.We meet in an inn, and Lardpire and Bride of Lardpire begin stealing everything that isn't nailed down. Greg propositions a lady of the night, Tinyfeet (whose character is slightly drunk) and I talk to the bartender, and Girl #1 pretty much hangs out in the background. Pretty normal so far. We learn about a spooky cave with monsters in it, we gather up the rest of the party, and we're off. Greg briefly complains about not getting to roleplay some lesbian midget sex. Tough shit.This is where things get a bit fuzzy for me, but I'll try my best. I remember some of the major encounters and shit, but accuracy is not guaranteed.
>>19432093Circumstance, mostly.My first D&D campaign (which we played online through IRC) we ended up with the most ridiculous THAT GIRL DM. Rape, rape and more rape. The Gilgamesh analogue my buddy was playing? She made him TWENTY-FOUR DRAGONS TO FUCK. The only female player among us was threatened with rape at least once per session.God, I look back and wonder how exactly I was that desperate to play some TTRPGs.
>>19432086That's called being single and desperate. Guys do it to us, as well.
>>19432147>A gypsy touched me once and said, "That Guys."Can you show my on a doll where she touched you?
>>19432154Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is pun-pun?
>>19432192A broken character concept that can kill god by level five.
>>19432192Its a build that results in infinite stats at about level 4.
>>19432192try google
>>19432201>>19432204Elaborate/link to something that explains?
>>19432192>A broken Dragonwrought Kobold character concept that can kill god by level five.Fixed. It's pretty much explicitly using the most hilariously wrong reading of the rules possible, and surely no DM has ever actually allowed it.
>>19432212>>19432208
>>19432188I'll show you with the doll.
>>19432158>The Gilgamesh analogue my buddy was playing? She made him TWENTY-FOUR DRAGONS TO FUCK....that does sound like something Gilgamesh would do.
>>19432217It doesn't actually break any rules except for the one where DM has final say in everything.
>mfw i THATGUY'd just recently on a skype game>mfw I feel better about it now
>>19432230While that's true, I don't particularly need to know in detail that the whelp brown dragon "smells of the sewer and likes to take it in the butt."
>>19432176> That's called being single and desperate. Guys do it to us, as well.I hear you. Traci wasn't some horrible person that you instantly loathed. It was just overwhelming affection, and sort of sad considering she was desperate and hanging out with a whole room full of semi to very socially inept guys and still not having a lot of success.I suppose /TG/ could come up with an RPG where the goal is to teach people basic IRL principles like "To have friends, you have to 'be a friend'."
>>19432273Pony the Friendening
>welcome to the NHK: rpg edition
>>19431577>mfw
>>19432273It's called LARPing.Seriously, half the reason I go there is to get a root.
>>19432016No, she was pretty flat. Had a pretty swanky prosthesis. It was rigged so extending the arm would also cause the hand to close. I once lost to her at Soul Caliber.>>19432039I am to understand that Greg's dark presence has plagued Indiana for centuries. Perhaps the tale is familiar because you have experienced his terror for yourself.>>19432154So we fought some kobolds, a pack of winterwolves, a cryo-hydra, and some kind of golem. Nothing of real note at this point, except I had decided that my monk was going to be a medieval Macho Man Randy Savage, and broke one of the wolves' necks with a piledriver.Our first big encounter was with a white dragon, which didn't waste any time fearing the entire party and fucking us right up the ass. After everyone was back in the fight, I committed myself to punching it to death, and Greg (who was trying to become a mystic theurge) was pounding the shit out of it with spells I suspect he was pulling out of his cavernous rectum. It went down without too much trouble, and we moved on. After a couple more minor encounters, we came across some owlbears and a bunch of nymphs.This is where things start going sideways, in more ways than one. I don't remember how or why exactly, but even after dispatching the owlbears, the nymphs weren't really all that hostile toward us. So obviously Greg decided to sweet, sweet gnome love to one of the nymphs. The DM faded to black, Greg was way too giddy about the whole thing, and my bladder was way too full. I took a piss break and tried to get Greg's greasy visage out of my head for a while.
>>19432299I want it. This instant.
>>19432273>I suppose /TG/ could come up with an RPG where the goal is to teach people basic IRL principles like "To have friends, you have to 'be a friend'."I support this endeavor.
A minor That Guy, but it still irked me.>everyone in game takes turns bringing beer and pizza. we game at a friend's house right next to the city's best pizza, next to a store that carries great beer>That Girl slows down the game because she can't remember what her powers are from one round to the next (this was 4th ed D&D, she had to reread every single power every single round)>constantly talking about her terrible relationship>but she doesn't seem to realize how terrible it is, which just makes it way worse>her turn to bring food, instead of going across the street for great stuff she brings cardboard-tasting Pizza Hut and some piss-tasting BudShe stopped coming a few sessions later due to the endless drama with her husband. That was also no fun to constantly hear about.
>>19432315>Misters the Rogering>roll 3d6, say that many nice things to the people at your table
>>19432273I would work on this. If someone starts a thread we can start to figure this shit out this very instant.
>>19432319>BudI mad
>>19432282No.>>19432324>>19432315Yes.
>>19432324You might want to work on that name, unless you want it to sound like a gay porn game.
>>19432349>Rogers: The SweateringBetter?
>>19432363Maybe>Rogers: The Friendening
>>19432273Was she chubby or obese? Because if it's the former, I don't know how she could have struck out so much.
>>19432339I would, but crunch isn't my area of expertise.And at any rate, where's the hook for playing said game? What would be the reward or interesting character concept behind making playing as Mister Rogers.>BOOK OF ghtslonI think captcha is on to something. Maybe an ancient arcane tome of diabolical power is responsible for the world's THAT GUYS.
>>19432349...It was the first thing that popped into my head. I suppose you're right, though.>>19432363I like this better than my original suggestion.
The closest thing I can think of for a That Guy story was in a Hunter: The Reckoning game and a near-miss because of how it all happened. >Guy was a lanky scarecrow of a human being, all sunglasses and cigarettes>Character was an ex-Navy SEAL that got dishonorably discharged after getting into drugs that revealed his latent paranoid schizophrenia>Talks about how vampires and werewolves and mages are all government supersoldier program rejects that got out of control>Rants about the things he's seen and the proof he has of their conspiracy>Raves about how, despite their significant advantages, they are still human and can be defeated like anyone else>He's obviously fucking crazy, but has access to the hardware we need to take these fucks on>Eventually, we attract too much attention and get targeted by the powers that be>Argue about how we're going to handle it>Guy speaks up, says that we can hide in one of his safehouses while we think>Agree to go with him>Step inside a place that's been abandoned and under construction since forever>Lights flicker on and reveal a number of things>Newspaper clippings with insane writing on them, strings connecting them, a guy tied up in the corner, a giant map with thumbtacks pushed in it, dossier-like information on all of us on a table, medical supplies, food...>A guy tied up in the corner.>Correction: A vampire tied up in the corner with steel wire.>The door locks>The lights shut off>OH FUUUCK>Our faces when we realize he wasn't a Hunter at all, but a man with a dangerous skill set and a steady flow of vitae to make him even more dangerous
>>19432324>>19432273>>19432315My main DM is a counselor and wants to do this so bad. He's a very good DM, one of the best I've ever had. In one of his classes they did a little role playing to practice counseling and he surprised his group with how much he got into it. Guy's a total bro, shame he moved to California.
>>19432389That...What the fuck are you even talking about?This made no sense
>>19432389>implying this is thatguy material>implying this isn't awesome
>>19432307I won't bore you with more deets and shit, so let me skip to the good parts.Bride of Lardpire eventually became a normal monster manual vampire, with the appropriate alignment shift, which meant that if my neutral good monk ever discovered what she was, he would be obligated to "cleanse" her, regardless of what I wanted. At least, that's what I told her. At this point I detested both her and her boyfriend, so I would've relished an opportunity to kill her character to death.Oh, and then Greg tried to flat-out rape Tinyfeet's character. While she was sleeping. The DM vetoed it, but Tinyfeet was so disgusted that she abandoned the session on the verge of tears. After that, he started posting some very disturbing things on Facebook, apparently about how she "deserved to be raped", which Tinyfeet brought to the attention of campus security. Greg (who was a townie, and never a student in the first place) was barred from entering the campus, and Girl #1 was so mad with Tinyfeet for getting Greg banned that they both stopped playing. After that the group pretty much dissolved.And Greg kept posting threats on Facebook.The end.
>>19432402Yea, this is fucking fantasticMuch better than all my hunters... I've got... like 5 dean winchesters.
>>19432401Guy was actually a vampire set to take out the group.
>>19432389That sounds more totally awesome and fitting for the setting than That Guy.Man, being a conspiracy theorist in the WoD... you've got the right mindset, but all the details are wrong.Also, no good can ever come of an ex-Navy SEAL.
>>19432375The hook...some sort of large social function, or a series of them. The PCs are in charge of corporate espionage, they have to stay at this party long enough to attain their goal or to be invited to another event that will let them achieve it. The main system is all the social skill crunch, with just enough extras stuck in that it's still got a touch of the fantastic. But not so much it overrides the focus.
>>19432425Negative, guy was a ghoul who fed others to his restrained vampire so he could in turn drink the vampires vitae.
>shitwear
>>19432414And then you started dating Tinyfeet or at least continued being her gaming bro?
>>19432307>I am to understand that Greg's dark presence has plagued Indiana for centuries.>Greg's dark presence has plagued Indiana for centuries.>has plagued Indiana>Indiana>Mfw Indiana rolled a 1 at character generation.
>>19432425Is he saying the PLAYER was a vampire? In which case ok...If the CHARACTER was then that doesnt qualify as that guyIts just awesome characterization
>>19432529Damn, that's even cooler.
>>19432558My guess was wrong. See>>19432529
>>19432586Still, if it was the characterThat isnt thatguy...
>>19432549GODDAMNIT SON DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT DATE TINYFEET THE ONE ARMED ADORABLE
>>19432414>And Greg kept posting threats on Facebook.This don't make no sense.
>>19432626Probably was just posting >"I'm gonna rape that one armed bitch cause she deserves it."So his 2 friends and all his family can read about it.
Dear sirs, I must confess that I am Blobert from AB3 binder of shame stories.
>>19432696AB3? Blobert?
>>19432712http://albruno3.blogspot.com/p/binder-of-shame.html
>>19432720OH HO HO! I REMEMBER NOW! RPPR DID A SKETCH OF THIS!
>>19432414>Guy acts like a tool in an RP>Leave on the verge of tears>Attention whore on FB>Get him banned from a campusShe's almost as bad as he is
forgive me for being new to rpgs, but...what does party face mean?
>>19432882When you're in a social situation, you elect a party face to negotiate on the groups behalf
>>19432882Usually the guy that talks for the party.Typically the one with the highest CHA or most social skills.
>>19432882The guy that handles social interactions. Diplomacy, defusing tense situations, bribes, gathering information, etc.
>>19432844No, HE was being an attention whore on facebook.Also, I don't think there's ANYONE who doesn't have the right to be seriously freaked out if someone implies they should be raped.>>19432882It means the person who does most of the social interaction. Generally has a high Charisma or related stat, talks to everybody.
>>19432844Oh ho ho, silly neck beard.
>>19431950>Reference subtlyNope. By the way, if you try to reference 40k "subtly" in a D&D table you are doing something wrong as well.
>>19432307>I once lost to her at Soul Caliber.I guess you could say she got the...upper handYEEEAAAHHHH!!!(I feel bad now)
>>19432901Oh, "He posted disturbing thing's on facebook" Read that as "She"
>>19432929
>>19432936Yeah, it wasn't like she was posting on her facebook going 'Oh wow is me I was violated in this DnD game oh humanity'It was some creepy neckbeard posting on facebook 'That fucking bitch she should be raped to death.'There is a difference.
>>19431985So question about Tinyfeet. Feel free not to answer. Did she just have a nub for an arm or was there just nothing there? Also which arm was it?
>>19433089More important question about Tinyfeet: are you dating her?
>>19433170This man has his priorities straight.Now answer the question
>>19433198Besides, she obviously has a nub of an arm since he said she's got a prosthetic.
>>19433209That some good flipper
I come bearing screencaps.I cherry picked the "WAT" posts because I really think that pillow and blanket line deserves it.
>>19433284There is a coaster at my table for you, stranger.
> I only ever show my face around here when I've accrued at least one shocking story. and by 'accrued' you mean 'made up'.
>>19433359Take off the tinfoil hat and laugh about it.
So I was talking to the friend of mine mentioned >>19432158here has suggested that I start relaying most of our tales of how bad that first campaign was. Anyone interested?>>19433359If you're so angry about people making shit up (and entertaining shit, at that) why don't you go bother the gazillion fucking quest threads?
>>19433359That's right, I'm brewing up a fresh batch right now.This one will have more marshmallow than usual. I'll let you lick the spoon when I'm done.
>>19432273>I suppose /TG/ could come up with an RPG where the goal is to teach people basic IRL principles like "To have friends, you have to 'be a friend'."Nicest thought I've seen on here for a while.
> You will never have a cute amputee girlfriend who plays D&D and Soul Calibur with you
>>19433382By all means, go for it.Storytime is always relevent.
>>19433383So the guy who bitches about you gets to lick the spoon and those of us who like your stuff get nothing? Way to reward negative behavior.
>>19433383>This one will have more marshmallow than usual. I'll let you lick the spoon when I'm done.I'm jealous.>>19433399Okay. This is going to take a bit though, I don't have anything pre-written.
>I type pretty fucking slow, so bear with me, guys.Why, did you give Tinyfeet one of your arms?
>>19433410>>19433409Knowing what my stories are normally made of, do you REALLY want to lick the spoon after I've mixed up another bowl?REALLY?
>>19433415Now that, gentleman, is true love.
>>19433423but...but this batch has marshmallow in it
>>19433425>>19433415YOU BRAVE MAN YOUWhat if you break up? Do you take it back?
>>19433435And a secret ingredient.
>>19433423I suppose you've got a point. But I fucking love marshmallows, dude.>>19433410So I think we'll start from day one. All of the players and the DM involved in this came from an IRC channel.Pretty much we somehow stumbled on to the topic of D&D (most of us hadn't ever actually played it, or hadn't played much, or were years out of practice) and a good handful of us decided it'd be awesome if we ran a game. Originally, a couple people had suggested having a few people DM, round robin a bit, etc.For the record, this was last December. This is relevant because the day after we suggested this, our resident attentionwhore/psycopath/unfriendly bitch decides she is going to DM. And we, deciding that since she has some experience, allow this.Continued.
>>19433425Although you should only give one of your arms to a girl with no arms, or one of your eyes to a blind girl.
>>19431420>>19431420>>19431420I GOTCHA MARSHMALLOW IN HEREDEEP DEEP IN HERE
>>19433459A whole month passes as we start reading books and junk and try to get characters made up and all that.She then reveals to us that she has been writing up storypaths and NPCs and making maps and shit EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF EVERY DAY (read: likely 16 hours a day) for a MONTH. And we are like "what."So we're like "whatever, that's fine." It's now late January, and we do some character introductions as a sort of D&D 101. The problem is mostly that we had a LOT of interest in this game, and there are like eleven people with characters.Now, the whole intention was to have like a guild of people, so we'd be rotating through players and stuff. Anyway, this is only the beginning.The characters being played include: my cleric of Pelor who is nearly mindraped by a red dragon, a dwarf cleric of Moradin who somehow ends up saving a drow trap, a dwarf fighter who is not really remarkable until the story gets going, my friend's Gilgamesh analogue, an "educated Barbarian" who acts more like a dumb version of Rance, a homebrew sorceress who nearly gets raped by the campaign's BBEG, a retarded pirate, a half-orc LE ranger who likes to eat people, a fifteen-year-old wizard with amnesia, a loli assassin, and a dullahan fighter who is a derpy idiot.Continued.
>>19433553Anyway, introductions are out of the way, and we're already wary, but decide to carry on.As an aside, we were playing 3.5 because the DM, despite being younger than me, is the most ridiculous grognard I've ever met. And despite this, she completely didn't understand a good handful of the rules. Mostly to the detriment of everyone but her. And in addition to this, she was fully engrossed in the belief that it was her job to kill our characters. Now, I understand there are groups that like this, but we would have said something if we'd known going in. Especially since, as I said, we were mostly new or out of practice and in no way capable of properly dealing with most of this stuff.So the first real session happens, and me, the pirate, the sorceress, the wizard and the dwarf fighter are chosen to go clear out a sewer in another city of some dirty evil kobolds and their leader.We start walking through the sewers, stumbling through our first real quest in D&D, still mostly unsure of what we're doing. So we find a grate that is overlooking the kobold's camp, and we discover that we can see a LOT of kobolds down there. On the order of 30 of them. Now, we know we can't fight 30 kobolds, so we then proceed to spend an hour of real time trying to figure out what the fuck we should do. And then the wizard decides to roll a listen check.We then realize a kobold has spotted our party and it begins to run back to the other 30 kobolds. So we obviously try to stop it, but in the attempt we alert the rest. So we end up getting rushed by 30 kobolds. At level one.Continued.
>>19432720ab3 is the worst character among those stories. The other players have excuses due to obvious mental handicaps, but he's the only one without an acceptable excuse for being involved in those games. He is whiny about shit he already knowns is coming. Fuck that guy.
>sort of sad considering she was desperate and hanging out with a whole room full of semi to very socially inept guys and still not having a lot of success.I think I saw an anime about this once. Everyone turned into orange juice?
>>19433636So normally you'd say "Just run away!" right? Well, none of us realized that was an option, and the DM sure as fuck wasn't letting us know that.So long story short, me and the dwarf fighter get killed. Straight up rolled over by being surrounded by six kobolds each. So the rest of the party high-tails it out of there, finally realizing they are severely boned.They end up coming back with the barbarian and the other fighter. The pirate (who is a rogue) ends up sneaking into the kobold's camp and finding out their leader is a dragon whelp. Rolling fuckery + some dust of invisibility goes down, and he fucking crits the dragon + sneak attack and kills it. Whatever. They tell the kobolds to get lost, loot all the little dragon's hoard, gather our dead bodies and take us back to the guild to ressurect us.Now, we're reasonable guys, and we were glad we could still play our characters. But then the second mission happened and everything went to shit.And shit's name was Reaper.
>>19433648I read it because it's funny not because I empathize with AB3. I truthfully wish my games were half that funny, but, for the most part my groups tend to be why so serious.Well outside of the VTM game I'm playing, that's first mission involves an orgy between a torrie anti, a malkavian, a tzimisce, and a tranny tzimisce played by me. This is literally part of the quest to get the settites to <3 us.Alas, no male characters would allow me to give them a mangina.
>>19431985>Spoke at Autism VolumeCame pretty close to lol'ing.
>>19433677well, it's not all sad in that case>yfw da best girl won the evangelion
>>19433681Actually that was the third or fourth mission. Whatever. The fact is that this is when shit started getting unpalatable. We're tasked with clearing out a crystal mine in elven lands. We go into the caves and start murdering the crazed molemen that are there. So we clear out two wings of the place and then stumble into a room CHOCK FULL of dead elves. Like, a pile of just dead people. So we get charged by some ghouls and fight them off.Then we check the room. We discover the dead elves are the people we were tasked to save. They are all dead. So I cast Detect Magic (hell if I remember why I did) and discover a gem that is clearly FULL of necromantic power (and which I'm like FUCK YOUR SHIT I'M A PELORIAN to) and a strange magical twinge from across the room.In typical fashion, our sorceress moves over to the source of magic and pokes it with a stick.>>19433746Let's not start that shitstorm, comrade.
>>19433746I think when it's just you and the object of your affection who just tried to strangle you sobbing uncontrollably on top of you, you can at best call it a phyrric victory.Sharing a collective mind probably made for some awkward conversation down the line.
>>19433783ASUKA #1 BRING IT ON REIFAGS
>>19433793bitch got nothing on me
>>19433793
>>19433856Well, she DOES win.Though it looks like Rebuild's going the other way.
>>19433284My reation image was included.>mfw
>>19433783So out of this pile of rags pops a shirtless elf, perched precariously on a scythe. We try to talk to him, ask him what the fuck he is doing here. He proceeds to inform us that he is here because he's in charge and that he both murdered and raped the corpses of all the elves behind us. And then tries to fucking murder us.So through some luck and the DM rolling terribly, we manage to get him to the point where he runs away, despite the fact that he should be fucking us up. So finally the fighter manages to decapitate him, after he's knocked three of us unconscious,We then exit the mine to rest and recover, and find out the next day that the elf's head is still alive, and is making lewd propositions to our sorceress. So me, being a Cleric of Pelor, am trying to fucking remove his undead self from existence, but the rest of the party stops me. We interrogate him to terrible results because the DM won't tell us anything useful.So we go back in, clear the dungeon (and for some reason they stick his head back on his body and he comes back to the guild with us.)The final straw in this rape-, waifu simulator- and general bullshit-filled campaign was after we had defeated a dragon. I recieved a vial with strange pink stuff inside it. So I take it to the guild's alchemist, who is a fucking creepy guy on his own, and am given a general idea of what's in it: some kind of being that everyone in town would be murdering each other over to get their hands on it.One more post.
>>19433881It's the other way aroundTV Series- Kaworu RouteRebuild- Rei routeManga- Asuka routeEoE- Tumblin down route
>>19433901So, in typical GREATER GOOD fashion, I try to give it to someone who doesn't really know what it is, with the warning DO NOT OPEN. So then she realizes her character is too curious to not open it, and gives it to the guild master to hurl into the void for all eternity to keep anyone from opening it.And the DM throws the MOST RIDICULOUS RAGE FIT. The campaign pretty much ends there, nothing accomplished and general dickery all around.And after having recounted this, it probably doesn't sound so bad to you guys, but if you'd had been there, you'd understand.The worst part? I tried to play in another campaign of hers after that, and promptly left when I decided I had enough of her crap.I now play in multiple other groups with people I've met online and am having lots of fun. So I leave you guys with a positive note: Not everyone on the internet who plays D&D is an autistic scumbag, so keep looking!
>>19433746>da best girl won the evangelionShinji isn't actually a girl.
>>19433963She isn't? what doujins have I been reading?>lolstory actuallyfuck you captcha
>>19434005good ones
>>19431658>There are things just below the surface of your tabletop community that many of us have never dared to have nightmares of, things that you simply could not believe actually exist. Levels of social retardation that mystify and baffle the normal human being.>All of these things you can find, if you look in the right places...>...in Night Springs.
>>19434011>>19434005>>19433963No one's going to post the pic showing that Shinji is a slightly more masculinized Nadia?
>>19434063"Tonight, a single group of merry friends are about to be dropped into their hobbies... Twilight zone!"
>>Our group has multiple games going on with a core group of players DMing for different ones.>>Good friend is in pretty much every game, snarky, stoic, occasionally an asshole but a good guy and a good gamer.>>Suddenly, an ex of his reappears after dropping off the face of the earth.>>Only man he's ever loved.>>"Please guys, I want him to be in every single one of our games so that he doesn't leave again.">>Furry, Tea Partier, obsessed with werewolves.>>Every game.I don't even think I need to give in-game examples.
>>19434095>hasn't played Alan WakeFaggot, Wake up!
>>19434075>slightly moreit's a straight copy, aside from the lack of tits and hairstyle>I don't have it though> I have a running bet with my friends that rebuild won't be a rei end.
>>19431420I was almost convinced for a minute there that we had played with the same person. And then... it got so much worse.How common is "miserable navel-centric skin condition" though? We had a guy in our group who had this chronic thing going on in that area. Average weight though. Never exposed it to the light of day and -thank god- would never fucking eat it though. Jesus.
>>19434111Which was, apparently, deliberate.
>>19434134Well yeah, he's supposed to be effeminate. If he was supposed to be manly then I guess they would've added some muscle in or something.
>>19434105Shush you. Mr. Scratch doesn't like when people wake up.He doesn't like it at all.
I've used up all of my That Guy stories and I haven't played in a game for a while. I guess I could recount one of the old ones but no guarantee you haven't heard it before.
>>19434178As far as I remember, he does like it when they're ready for a second round by then.>I TOLD YOU I'M A PSYCHO PSYCHO PSYCHO
>>19434182Go ahead, I'm a newfag anyway.
I have a that guy story for 40k. And I thought they were only limited to RPGs>start 2v2 game, good talking between all four members, will be a fun game>one guy has to leave>Only other guy not in a game is a SPESS MEHREEN guy with a lisp, who only comes into to paint>looks half retarded (you know, when they look like theyve been inbred)>game starts up, he seems sort of off>starts bitching how his teammate rolls his dice>starts bitching how I roll my dice>starts bitching how my teammate rolls his dice>rolled his dice hitting his teammates models hard>questions every special rule/wargear we say we have>game comes to an end early because of closing time>they have one more killpoint then us>"you guys really fucking suck at this">if the game wouldve continued, we would have won>the rest of us shook hands and said good gameI mean what the fuck?
Let me tell you a story about the That Guys of a group composed of about half That Guys, 1/4th casual and 1/4th min-maxers.I enter a group halfway through a campaign they started at the beginning of the year. >lvl 13 Gestalt with a 10 PC party. Nuff said there for the DM>The decent party members consisted of:-A pair of rouge twins who managed to be able to sneak attack all the time-A super greedy antipaladin that carries all his wealth on him at all times-Ranger/Paladin. One of the normal people.-The Healer Saint. Another normal person.-Me. Ranger/Monk/Pyrokineticist Saint (Unintentionally made Ghost Rider)The That Guys of the group:-Schizoid Warlock thing.-DM girlfriend, Catgirl monk thing with dual wielding Katana.-DMPC, Dual Wielding oversized katana train conductor for the railroad he had us on.-The Raven. Not sure what he was. Although fairly certain he didn't do jack shit in combat or RP, just complained about not being the center of attention in and out of game.-The Fighter. Oh dear lord, The Fighter.
>>19434233>you guys really fucking suck at thisThat's when you say, "Shut up or I'll suck your dick."I mean, really.Just...let him puzzle that one over for a few days.
>Players submit their character sheets for my game.>Half-elf druid, checks out.>Dwarf fighter, checks out.>Dwarf cleric, checks out.>Human barbarian, checks out.>Dragon.>Slowly look up from sheet at the player.>"Dragon?">"There are rules for it, it's allowed."
Boy. Compared to these, my That Guy is a bro among bros.>plays the same 2-3 characters every game>one is ALWAYS an artificer that has the right stuff to build any magic device she needs>other is a pure caster of some kind (Has been seen as both a warlock and a sorceress/elemental savant)>both quite optimized (though we all optimize slightly, he's the higher end of the curve, always)>you can read every one of his characters' lines in his monotone voiceSeriously, next to this stuff, he's a godsend.
>>19434201Right-o.This is the story of two That Guys in the same group.>supposedly light-hearted crime-themed Pathfinder game set in a 1001 Nights influenced desert capital>Enter That Guy 1 and That Guy 2>That Guy 1 has hung around us for a little while, never played with us before, rolls up a pyromaniac fire mage>That Guy 2 creates ZORCO, half-orc DEFENDER OF FREEDOM>I have something to do and miss the first session, between the next I speak a girl in our group and she is like livid with rage over the game>pyromage is playing as alignment Stupid Evil, will set anything no longer directly needed for the current mission on fire. Like, everything. In between missions our characters hang out at a bar by the docks and he has her spend most of her time hitting on another character's (also female) bard. Other player says they're cool with this at first but it goes to the point of beyond creepy. Double bonus points: Bard is played by underage teenage boy.>Zorco sounds awesome but he is played like... If a woman has her hair in a ponytail he will go into full retard mode because THE HAIR WANTS TO BE FREE, WHY ARE YOU OPPRESSING IT not even exaggerating this.
>>19434418>THE HAIR WANTS TO BE FREE, WHY ARE YOU OPPRESSING ITThat is funny.
>>19434429yeah. I genuinely laughed when he said ZORCO. Hes obviously just being funny, but if the rest of the group is being serious, I could see how itd be a that guy.Speaking of funny characters, how many times do you guys play funny games? as in not serious? Like the BBEG turns out to be a guy in a hotdog suit.
>>19434325The Schizoid warlock was played by a guy with an obvious lack of social skills and boundaries.>Upstanding person outside of the gaming table>Plays all of his characters like a guy in a straight jacket. All of them. In every game. Ever.>Tries to be creepy and dark but ends up just being useless in a fight and a burden in RP.>Usually the first person to die in a sticky situation.>Throws a huge tantrum whenever his character died about being picked on by the DM and everyone else.>Leaves for a game then comes back with the same character ready to play again.>This cycle went of for 30 gaming sessions.>Always was leaving the game for food and always complained about being overweight and pathetic.The DM's Girlfriend.>Did not want to be there at all>Didn't bother to read the rules at all>Same character every time she died>Held up the game for 3 hours just to make an attack>Overpowered weapons and character thanks to the "Sleeps with the DM card.>Horridly frizzled, short,overweight Hermionie Granger look without the brains.>Super obsession with anime.>watches videos while in game and derails the DM whenever something interesting happened.>Derailments could last from 1 to 3 hours.
>>19431968>swallow the pixie
>>19434325>>19434477The DM/DMPC>Obvious obsession with power>We were all way too overpowered>Got mad when we would 1-shot his god-bosses>Did I mention we were way too overpowered?>Dual Wielding 10ft. Katana.>Overweight so much that his car tilted to the side while he was driving>Smelled like cigarettes and old, raw fish all the time. Not to mention extreme body odor.>Threw a fit every time girlfriend didn't do something right in game.>Threw a fit whenever Schizoid threw a fit.>Threw a fit every time we didn't do something according to plan>Decent RP sessions though with BBEGs and NPCs.
>>19434418Dropping the greentext, doesn't look too good for this.Between the two of them they manage to cock up two jobs our group is hired for in the first session by just being as unsubtle as humanly possible. I have my character show up in the next session and we are hired to kidnap a minor official in the government. Based on what I was told about the previous session, I have my character hide and PLAN for the group to cock up. They do not disappoint and I pretty much carry out the kidnapping entirely on my own while they have a pointless attention-demanding firefight in the middle of the street with the city guard.Another time we're hired to investigate vampires and they manage to get one of the other players' characters killed.Somewhere in here the Zorco player gets bored of his character and rolls up a rock golem named... Rocky. With literally zero personality. I don't remember much of this character because he had him intentionally walk straight into a trap we had ALREADY DISCOVERED which launched him into a large pool of acid inside of a death-trap-covered house and lost his save against instantly dissolving. After we get whatever we're supposed to find from the house and leave, pyrogirl announces that she is blowing the house up.The house with the huge pools of ultracorrosive acid that ate one of our party members instantly.Did I mention that our DM is the sort to always consider the consequences of a character's actions, especially if said actions are retarded?When our characters get back to the bar they discover that the acid created a huge death cloud which overshadowed a large section of the aristocratic district. Pyromage is now fantasy Osama bin Laden and public enemy number one. And naturally, we are all accessories to this bullshit.
>>19434576Anyways, about this point I am fed up with this and me and another player plot to have our characters murder the pyromage and turn her body in for the reward, thus also removing the connection between ourselves and the fucking terrorist explosion that wiped out 3/4ths of the people the sultan gives a shit about. In the meantime though, Zorco guy and pyromage both are rerolling. Zorco rolls a Paladin. In our crime campaign. Pyrogirl rolls a Neutral Good sorceror. They both show up just as we've incapacitated the pyro but before I've killed her and cut out her tongue. And insist we take her in alive.Pic was related.
>Asukafags>Reifags>implying Misato isn't the best
>>19434662She is, calm down.
>>19434662I'm a Tabris fag myself.
>playing heroclix>theme team day>rocking pic related with sinestro corps>playing against the greasiest sperglord neckbear in history>he plays system of a down on his iPod touch (through the speakers) when he gets upset>he is playing terribly, not focusing any characters, leaving his in the open in front of my range, ignoring his own powers, etc.>"You guys suck the fun out of the game with your OP pieces, I don't know why I still play here,>"I bet you just make up half the rules on the spot anyway.">complains about my theme team being OP when his theme is "People with Hypersonic Speed">he is playing Black Lantern Supes, Zoom, and WoS NC
>>19434325>>19434477>>19434569The Raven.>The Matrix style getup in and out of game.>Always insisted on being just outside the party whenever combat started.>Magic missiles. All the time. For no reason. Only magic missiles. At everything that moved. Even other PCs.>Not sure if this guy was trying to be gothic or not.>Always had his hands and arms inside of his shirt and trench coat.>Made sure to let everyone know that he was pissing or taking a dump in and out of game before he went to do it.>Breathed really heavily when he would go into detail about his bowl movements in game.>Almost kicked out of the group because he was masturbating to his descriptions of his poops which were usually "orange" and "Clay-like" and "Reeked with the smells of sulfur and butane">Followed up on any leads he could find about vampires.>Firm believer that Japanese culture was the best a greatest thing that ever happened on Earth.>Magic missiled anyone in game who thought otherwise in and out of game.>Insisted upon being called The Raven in and out of game.>Would come in and roll what he thought was sushi during game. >We were in Nebraska so his 'sushi' consisted of undercooked rice, raw beef or chicken not sure what it was, guacamole, seaweed which he ordered straight from japan and was very proud of the fact and honeymustard.These guys arn't still don't compare to the That Guy of this group. The Fighter.
>>19434723>playing against the greasiest sperglord neckbear in history
>>19434739
>>19434739>Almost kicked out of the group because he was masturbating to his descriptions of his poops which were usually "orange" and "Clay-like" and "Reeked with the smells of sulfur and butane"I am honestly confused. These... it exists?
>>19434739So..., you caught him masturbating and did not kick him out? Why in the name of Pelor did you not kick him out that very instant?
>>19434739After reading this, i do not see anyway the fighter can be any worse. Feel free to prove me wrong..
>>19434739>sushi>honey mustard>SUSHI>HONEY MUSTARD>AGIJAWOIGHIALGAWL
>>19432423Damnit, I'm reading the thread from the top down and actually had to stop and chortle at the thought of 5 Dean Winchesters trying to function as a party.
>>19432307I-Indiana you say? God Dammit. Good thing I don't play DnD with any people named Gregg. I only have 1 That Guy named Topher in my DnD group. Pic oh so deliciously related.
>>19434325>>19434477>>19434569>>19434739The Fighter.>Mid 30s, playing with 20ish year olds.>5'4">Crocks>Knee high socks>Sweatpants with undefinable stains on them>Big belt with huge cowboy-style buckle.>A gut that would make a pregnant lady look normal.>The most unkempt chest-hair-to-neck-beard I have ever seen. (Saw something moving in it on more than 1 occasion)>Teeth that could shatter glass with a flash and breath that could rot McDonald's fries.>Constant sinus infection, complete with snorts, sniffles and sneezes.>Beady black eyes>Long mane of black greasy hair tied back into 3 pony tails which he had tried to weave into one at some point in time.>Could never keep his mouth shut.>Came up with ideas like "burn down the castle" when we needed to talk to the king.>Random inserts of jokes from stoner movies and 'thats what she said' jokes that would result in him laughing and sending wave after wave of his nauseating, nearly visible breath weapon.>Complained about never having enough feats.>Homebrewed a race of dragon/cat/daemon people and almost cried when the DM said no.>Talk out of turn during RP to discuss the anime the DM's girlfriend was watching.>Got himself killed in game for doing that and threw a tantrum I could only equivalate to a seizure mixed with a high dosage of amphetamines. >Took 5 of us to pin him down after he started flipping tables.>Much to our dismay, he shat himself in the process.>The Raven left the room when he realized what happened.>Returned later to try his hand at DMing. >Disaster. Im not going into details on that trainwreck.
>>19435022>>Took 5 of us to pin him down after he started flipping tables.>>Much to our dismay, he shat himself in the process.Wait what.>>Disaster. Im not going into details on that trainwreck.Please do.
>>19435022Jesus christ, you gamed with Chris-chan?
>>19435022>Disaster. Im not going into details on that trainwreck.Please do
>>19433925Wait, isn't this story the one where the pink stuff in the vial was, like, a kitsune that would make best wife material to whoever opened it?I remember this premise from somewhere, including the rage fit.
>>19435022>Disaster. Im not going into details on that trainwreck.But you must.
I really don't play Tabletop that much, I mostly lurk /tg/ for my /tg/ related needs to be honest. I play shitloads of Megamek, some Vassal 40k, recently some fun as shit Call of Cthulhu over maptools with some bros, but that is about it. Otherwise, I'm one of those lurkers who really came here for the lore discussion and crazy fantasy and sci-fi discussions.These threads, while amusing, always push me away from trying to ever get involved in /tg/ related things in real life. Dear god, I could not even remotely handle any of these people in this thread. Is it really this bad? Is it even this bad like 20% of the time? Should I continue to stay sheltered in my internet /tg/ related hovels?
>>19435068That's the one.I've told parts of this story before, it's just too ridiculous not to.
>>19435092>>19435068>Take vial>Drink it
>>19435110I think it was a gas. Though god I'd have paid money to see the look on her face if I'd done that.Thermonuclear buttmad.
>>19435089No, most of these stories are made up/exaggerated anyway. Of course there's the occasional oddball but they are rare, judging from my own experiences.
OP, only started reading that first link. I'm already grinning like a fool.
>>19435126I just...there's like a hundred fucking things to do with that vial, really, that are all repugnant and horrible and would've been worth it.Oh, yeah, GM? Ya got the perfect waifu entombed in here? Well, that's nice. I'm going to go buy the cheapest, sluttiest, skankiest half-orc prostitute I can find and give her a silver to let me pound her while she works this vial into her stinkhole like a buttplug.
I have one story that I've told before, in its entirety, on four occasions that I remember, right here on /tg/. It's about a guy that, no lie, played a sliver. Yes, the ones from M:tG. Just because I was making them for D&D, out of boredom, when he called me one night.I don't really feel like telling it again, because I think I've told it too many times as it is. It's probably in one of the That Guy threads on suptg, and I think someone even screencapped it, if anyone has it.
>>19435022Yes, you are.
>>19435047Its not as bad as that incident.Mostly game mechanic "Fuck you!"s on his part.Ill give you a taste:>Lvl 1.>Triple Gestalt>4 people were Ancient Red Dragon combined with some other dragon.>I played a Paladin Angel/Archon (His race, not mine) who, at lvl 1, using real game mechanics, could reach Mach 3.He also, at lvl 1, gave us gems that gave us incredible thing. The one I remember went a little something like this:>+10 to Str. Permanent boost>+10 to Int. Permanent boost>+20 to Cha. Permanent boost>10 Bonus feats>Regeneration>DR 10/->+10 bonus to whatever armor piece or weapon we attached it to. We could choose the effects.>He gave us 5 to begin with.>They were used as currency in his world.At the end of character creation my Charisma and Wisdom were in the 60s and the rest of my stats were in the mid 40s and 50s. My AC was so high even the Dragon PCs who had gotten their Strength up into the 100s couldn't hit me.I only played 1 session.
>>19435168I like you. You can come to my house and fuck my sister.
>>19435178Dragons everywhere?Call Alphonse Kapown.
>>19435190Thank you, sir. I'll let her use my special toy that I got from a dragon and crazy-glued permashut so it'll never accidentally open during the numerous crazy sexcapades I put it through.Also you totally know that that kitsunewaifu was that chick's DMPC she was waiting for you to release.
>>19435220Female homebrew sorceress from that campaign reporting in. She made literally about 10-15 DMPCs and our retarded pirate rogue tried to talk to this Japanese titty monster ninja she made to crossclass into ninja. I fucking kid you not. The pirate had literally no tact whatsoever and the whole sequence was just awkward to watch.>>19435068 I gave it to the guild master DMPC to cast away because she literally said it would cause all male characters to make a ton of in-fighting over her. And naturally, that didn't sit well. That was also the last session because of my level-headed idea and I remember getting blamed and yelled at for two hours.
>>19435326I'm telling ya, the only thing to do is have a female party member just take it and keep it in her ass. Take it out to do your business, put it back in. The only thing worse than having it floating in the abyss forever is forcing your DM to live with the knowledge that her flawless little marysue aphrodite is forever trapped in a vial being used as an analblocker.
>>19435354That would have been all well and good, but knowing our 'loving' DM, the marysue waifu would have popped out of my ass and raped me in my sleep. That was her style.
>>19435384Yeah, I guess.Still, a man can dream.
>Coaster Nazi has returnedTHANK YOU BASED GOD
>>19435396I can share more that my Pelorian friend didn't bother to if need be, but I doubt most people want to hear me ramble about this. If you guys say yes though, I'll impart some things.
>>19435418MOAR.
>>19435092Boil the contenst of the vial in the name of SCIENCE!Snort any powdery/salty substance left behind.
>>19435402I came back for you, anon.I heard your prayers.
>>19435418
>>19435418Deliver please.
I don't know whether to be jealous or thankful that I have no notable That Guy stories. I don't think I've ever played with a That Guy to any point that got worth retelling. But my group aso frequents /tg/ and jokingly posts our better moments here, so I think we all just know the signs well enough to prevent the problems at their root.
>>19431577This is my next character concept.But my character will be human.
>>19435418>>19435431>>19435455Alright. Now, the campaign my Pelorian friend quit was.. Oh god a trainwreck doesn't even begin to describe it.She decided that we were going to play a group of tieflings, five strong, all neutral/chaotic evil. There was a ranger, a homebrew roguey type (myself), a cleric, a blind fighter that had a double-sided blade, and a warlock that specialized in rays. I'm going to say now, this campaign died in three sessions.So the first session went significantly less batshit until the end. Our "family" was holed up in a church, and we decided to go on a scouting run. Turns out, there was a merchant with an armed guard, and the ranger botched the ambush we had set up. What ended up happening was I rolled a nat 20 on initiative, leapt forward, stabbed the driver in the mouth with a rapier, and I stole the merchant's carriage and drove off while leaving my brothers to kill the guards. They eventually arrived back at our 'base' (it was a worn down, decrepit temple); so being there we interrogated the human merchant. His elven wife and half-elven brood were in the carriage as we talked to this man. Now, us being orphans hated what came next. The merchant straight up said he didn't value his wife or children's lives over his business. The ranger talked to his wife about this and she flipped her shit, kicked the guy in the balls, took her children and left. We also forced her into Neutral Good alignment for that.Continued.
>>19435594ng;dr
>>19435594Now, we were left with the merchant and the carriage. Without going into great detail, I sat back while the other four ritualistically murdered the merchant, the blind fighter taking precedence over everyone else to strike the final blow. The cleric and I are sitting back and I merely mumble, "What sort of sick fuck tries to sell children." (The palpable irony caused everyone to just lose their shit.), and that was the end of the first session.Now, we were left with the merchant and the carriage. Without going into great detail, I sat back while the other four ritualistically murdered the merchant, the blind fighter taking precedence over everyone else to strike the final blow. The cleric and I are sitting back and I merely mumble, "What sort of sick fuck tries to sell children." (The palpable irony caused everyone to just lose their shit.), and that was the end of the first session.Second session starts as our little band of orphan-adoptee-siblings are gaining more ground. The DM gives us the option to literally go raid and pillage the nearest town with the reason being "They were dicks". So we did, knowing full well there was hardly a way to take this shit seriously. First up is my dickass rogue. I sneak into a guardhouse and every guardsman is asleep. I literally walk through the place stabbing them in the back with my katar, if in the event I ever alerted one, I chucked a knife into their spine as they got up.Continued
>>19434098>Furry>Tea PartierI don't think this works, generally speaking
>>19435683.Well, later on down the line there was a pair of guards, a guy and a girl fucking as I snuck through. I would not make this up. Now, unbeknowst to me my DM while helping me make my CS put a flaw in. Slutty Bisexual. Apparently, my character was supposed to fuck everything that moved with 16+ Charisma provided I didn't pass a save DC. So they finished and the DM made it blatantly clear the guards were faking asleep while jacking off watching them (Gods, what?). I rolled the save for the DC and unfortunately failed by one, so my character takes the girl as she's walking by, binds her up, drags her to a closet and facerides her. (That's seriously what the DM said I would not make this shit up.)So after the little lesbian-in the closet fuckfest (The irony looking back on that makes me chuckle a little because I'm slightly childish.) I go back to assassinating all of the guards. As I enter the last room, one is staring at me. He smiles and winks and I shrug it off, going about my business. So I get detected by a batch of shit rolls, and at this point the random guard gets up and kills the two I was heard by.After a minimal small amount of dialogue and the save DC failing again (The DM INSISTED this was necessary). My PC and that NPC fucked. With the rest of the session I began to question why I stayed in.Continued later, I've got stuff to do.
>>19435782Oh boy, a fetish roleplay game.
>>19435810Cleric of Pelor reporting in.We really, REALLY didn't ask for this. Seriously. But her idea of "evil" is "rape and pillage erry day" and then she complains when once we've raped and pillaged, there's nothing to do, as if it was our faultI dropped that game like a bad habit and she's STILL mad about it, a good three or four months later.
>>19435782>Slutty BisexualThat shouldn't be a flaw, there's some kind of mental condition that I can't remember the name of that would actually be a flaw that would cause a character to want to sex everything
>>19435876Hypersexuality
>>19435900Yes that, can't believe I could remember it.Has anyone actually taken that as a flaw willingly?
>>19435693We didn't think so either. But then it happened. Apparently you CAN have slutty bisexual sperglord furry conservatives.
>>19435959
>>19436091>Exploding knees!
>>19435959I now want to play a Greek mythology game and play this straight.
>>19434098Please do.
>>19436147They're less interesting than just infuriating. In one, he made a character sheet for a god damn winter wolf NPC, despite there having been many, *many* human NPCs that would have fit in with the party. In another he is a female elf mercenary, who apart from being naked more than is necessary is actually tolerable.And then there's the "lolrandum" catfolk fighter who wears a chainmail bikini, speaks in ridiculous falsetto, and constantly spazzes around - all of this acted out, mind you. It was decided out of game that she would be my character's long lost friend.
>>19436109>Zeus doing the bullThis is mighty incorrect.
>>19436365Even in my own experience I have never seen someone play a catfolk who wasn't played as a complete spaz.
>>19436109No, Zeus, you are the bull.
>>19435810>>19435847>>19435876>>19435959Alright I'm back, where was I? Ah, right, the rape.So the ranger would shoot anyone exiting the village, the warlock would launch rays at people just for the sake of generalized death violence and carnage. Good ol' evil shit, I guess. Well the blind fighter ran off and started fighting the guard captain one on one; and the DM made the guard captain rapebait (not to everyones surprise at this point honestly). The fighter tripped her, broke her legs, cut her to shit, then raped and mindbroke her to the point where she worshipped him as a god. The cleric was attempting crowd control, and some guard got uppity with him. He broke her leg and disarmed her, and the DM forced her to give him a blowjob (And my friend was literally just radiating with vibes of "I'm not okay with this stop." as well as I, the fighter was enjoying himself, and the warlock only really cared that he was killing things.) Well, the guards boyfriend tried to rush the cleric and his dire wolf familiar, under DM control, jumped up and tore the guys throat out. So ended session two, an entire town of men dead and all of the women taken back to the church as nothing more than fucktoys.Apparently, they had also been made our servants and each of us got two followers or some bullshit I can hardly remember.The session ended with myself, the cleric, and ranger only willing to play through because of each other, we had no further interest in this quite literal trainwreck.Continued
>>19436384Reading about whats-her-face getting fucked by zeus-bull introduced me to the wonderful world of beastiality-related why-boners.I also enjoy virgin porn because I love hyphens...
>>19431580Fuck you Steven. You're the showerless motherfucker.
>>19436433I played one that was a lazy sarcastic fuck. Everyone really liked him for some reason, though.
>>19436444Wait... the DM forced the Cleric to force the Guard to give them a blowjob? Huh? How does a DM force a character to do something?
>>19436444Heh trips, okay. Time for the final session. I'm serious when I say brace yourself.Okay, so we hadn't played this particular campaign in..roughly a month and a half, maybe two. In the meantime, the cleric, warlock, and I had found another 3.5 campaign that was monster-girl centric. The DM was pretty laidback and homebrewed things, not too spectacularly broken at this point but it was pretty fun and we were enjoying the hell out of ourselves.Well, I get the bright idea, along with the fighter, to pester the DM for a session (she had been fucking off doing other things even though all of us were open to actually, you know, playing during this whole time). She kept giving the excuse that she had literally ZERO ideas of what to do with the campaign (TL Note: Rape and pillage =/= all evil people do. This is all she wanted us to do). Well, a week passes and lo and behold, she had thought of something! Our characters timeskipped and levelled up from 4 to 8. (This is important, trust me.)Continued
>>19436641I told her to get on her knees and stay there, and apparently this translates as "suck my dick" to the DM.I was all kinds of like WHAT, NO, STOP THAT.
>>19436641No, she forced the NPC, the cleric not knowing what to do in this situation rolled with it in hopes that it'd be over quick.>>19436663So we start out in this forest, apparently our small band of adopted orphans felt that our church of human sacrifice, debauchery, giant fucking orgies (The DM made it a point to describe how I would sleep with one of the brothers every night when I went to sleep, and when we were bored we just had huge orgies [More semblances of god why scattered along between myself, the cleric, and ranger] and more absurd shit), and demon worship was too small for the relocated town among other things. So, our tiefling brood were busy clearing out this forest. We came across a group of lumberjacks who couldn't proceed further. They were sick, one was bright orange, just a bunch of goofy shit you wouldn't expect. We take it upon ourselves to go investigate the cause.We run up on a swarm, four-hundred strong, of pixies, or fairies, or something. She called them "petals" and they lived in bright rainbow trees (just like my picture.) So, the DM, not fond of telling us we can escape or anything leaves us to fight. (She later told us this was a CR16 encounter after my Pelorian friend literally went "LOL FUCK THIS NOISE" and left.
>>19436101those are her soulstones exploding
>>19436687Well... Well that's just lovely. I would have NOPED out of that campaign long before then.
>>19436712I just wanted to play D&D, man.Luckily I discovered there are definitely other options than this crazed woman who still claims she is the best DM we've ever met. That's the funny part, really.
>>19436705In this process, I get turned as blue as an Ethereal; Ranger gets shrunken to six inches tall and a swarm of "petals" pick him up. The cleric is smart, and backs the fuck off. But here's where things get fun. The warlock launches a ray at the tree, and these trees are apparently "prismatic trees", they launch a ray back at him and he succeeds on the save. So everyone starts attacking the trees, as it's our only hope in this case, because once again the DM refused to say "You can run at any point". So the cleric comes back, smacks the tree; and the tree launches a green beam. He fails the save and outright dies.At this point tables are flipped. He says "I'm out" and quits the IRC channel. The DM rages herself into a literal three hour shitfit in which the other four players are sat watching. The ranger and I have NO idea what in the fuck is going on anymore as she literally rages herself into tears, threatening to quit DMing because "he killed her will to" among numerous other reasons. She eventually turned the blame to us saying that it was our faults we were not experienced enough, and she's a "hardcore" D&D player.This was the end of session three, and campaign two. I'd include more but I have fading pockets of memory where I hardly remember what happened.Shall I go on?Gif related, it's my friend and the DM in this situation.
>>19436756That was pretty much me to a T.It's one thing to set up players to fight things way tougher than them, but to do the same to a bunch of people who have been playing the game for a MONTH at best? It's just ridiculous, especially if you don't intend to let them know there are other options.
>>19436756Derpy Dullahan here.I shit you not every word she says here is true this DM once made an entire plane of shit even /d/ would be disgusted in as punishment for teasing her when she smashed her keyboard around while having sex with her cousin. (Half cousin or some shit but still regardless her cousin.)
You guys sound like you have a fun time...Seriously what the fuck was keeping you all with this chick if all she did was rape and produce the worst kind of fetish fuel?
>>19437041The only one of us who knew how to DM was her, it was after the second campaign died that two others bothered to learn. I'm also a heavy believer in someone redeeming themselves, as you'll soon find out.
>>19437041The only one of us who knew how to DM was her, it was after the second campaign died that two others bothered to learn. I'm also a heavy believer in someone redeeming themselves, as you'll soon find out.Plus I'm more than certain some of us were desperate enough to play that we stayed with her.
>>19437082Wait you played a third campaign with her?
>>19437092Yeah, I did. Hence the "shall I go on?" Also fucking double post.
>>19437099Although, the fourth isn't worth mentioning because it wasn't really "That DM"-esque and I was the only player, and at this point she was almost completely done DMing because of all the ragequits and shitstorms, et cetera. Have I mentioned I like giving people multiple chances? Because I'm so nice it borders masochistic.
>This threadWell now, this is just horrifying.Just horrifying.
>>19437092She did. A couple of them did.I think it's mostly to be like "Look what hilariously retarded crap she's pulled this time!"Picture vaguely related, it's from one of our current campaigns with one of the guys who has picked up DMing duties. We love us some fluffy tails, yo.
>>19436756Gilgamesh bro from the first game here, after that one I pretty much didn't play with her again. Though I did enjoy reading through the logs of some of the other games with here because they were so horrid it almost defies belief. And the whole "24 dragon waifus" thing came about from one joke I made about dragons. She then took this as a clue to design a dragon waifu of every colour of dragon. And then, upon deciding that that wasn't enough, making up whole new colours of dragons to give me waifus of. All of them lolis.
>>19437213This was my fetish up until you said loli.
>>19436663>Monster Girl centric campaignAlright you have to share stories from this one it sounds like its even worse.
>>19437239They weren't all Loli's at first. They were supposed to be varying in age from loli to delicious Christmas cake.
>>19437258I know it sounds bad but it wasn't at all. There was literally no rape whatsoever. Sorry to disappoint that DM was actually, you know, cool. That and everyone was a monster-class so it didn't really particularly matter.
Thread needs more giant lolis.
>>19437258>it sounds like its even worse.You have some seriously shit taste, friendo.
Anyway, shall I continue onto the third and final trainwreck?
>>19437489We're waiting.
>>19437489We all know you don't need to ask.
>>19437524>>19437512Even the esteemed Coaster Nazi wants to hear this. I'm quite flattered honestly.Alright, now this is where I'm the fucking moron. Generally being the nice person I am, I gave her one more chance to DM. The group included the warlock and fighter from last time (even though the warlock only played one session.) The warlock was now a ghoul with a thick Russian accent, I forget what he played. The fighter however, was a rogue, and served as my characters butler. My character was some homebrewy mix between mage and fighter (The DM once again refused to let me make my own PC and did it for me, this time no "OH GOD GOTTA FUCK HNNNN" Hypersexuality, nymphomania flaw.)The whole setting was my character was rich and spoiled, and she ran around collecting artifacts and magic enchanted weapons for her collection. The DM described it as literally "you get wet for magic items". Anyway, this being my third campaign; and hoping for fun I set off. I could not be ready for this campaign but god damn it, I was resilient and hopeful.So we start off, the first session we go hunt down a bandit leader for a pair of kukri. Now, I don't remember much about this session except for a nat 20 headshot with a composite bow, my clothes getting ripped through a jump, and absolutely destroying the bandit leader while naked. Yeah, while naked. So, so far it's pretty vanilla and nothing bad, boy was I not prepared for what came next.Continued
>>19437623So second session rolls along, swamp territory, I take two DMPCs along with the Russian ghoul and the rogue . Nothing really bad, more fighting between barbaric lizardmen and my party. Apparently, when the rogue went to scout ahead there was a black dragon in the area with her hoard. What should have been simple ended up degrading into a two or three hour "game of words" until the DM (Dragon) slipped and fucked up. So I won, and took the hoard and whatever magic items were in it, and the rogues PC went from being a servant-type to falling in love even though I had never went toward that.Oh boy, here we fucking go. Third session rolls along and she decides to introduce the BBEG. So, we all go and talk to this halfling in some town she's apparently a hero in, and the halfling is a notorious lesbian. From here I'm going to tl;dr because I really can't remember much.My PC runs into the halfling. They fuck. The butler rogue PC gets all buttmad and goes and gets drunk. Russian Ghoul doesn't give a fuck about anything and just sorta sits there. BBEG goes up to rogue and charms him (I later found out she was basically a mage that specialized in sex spells [Her magic missile was a blob of semen, I fucking kid you not], and her sole purpose in life was to take my character and make her the biggest slut in the world.). So his PC drags (<- Remember this, it's really important), my PC to an alley and she absolutely fucks him up, using black tentacles to grapple him following up with repeated shocking grasps until he's unconcious. Now after a little bit of character dialogue, I finally reach my limit and say fuck this, I'm done.
>>19437623Moooooooooar.
>>19437799Cue another three hour shitstorm in accusing me of meta (They tried to argue that when the DM specifically stated the PC dragged me, that I was reading it wrong and it was meta because he in reality lead me along. Note the difference between lead, and drag), along with getting angry that I was pissed off that once again, they had tried to rape my character.The DMs excuse being she couldn't threaten me with death because I didn't care if I died or not, so she used rape to trigger my fight or flight response. Yes, you're reading that right; the DM could not have fun unless the players felt genuine fear about their characters, and this bitch knew my tick after two other campaigns.
>>19437848So, going back to the argument, there was literally three hours of an argument I hardly paid attention to, where the rogue and DM ganged up on me and became the definition of "white hot analpocalypse." The whole time she was trying to justify the attempted rape of my character (and by extension myself) with arguments such as "Wars have been started over women with high charisma, women with high charisma are rape-bait." She even once said, "I thought you were as kinky as me", and for this point I had know this girl for four months, and I had never described my fetishes to her or anyone for that matter because I'm not a slut.After that, she DMed once more for one more session of an entirely new campaign, then quit altogether. I have been happier in the two other campaigns I've played since.I would describe it in greater detail, but as I've said before my memory is fuzzy at best and there are pockets I just don't outright remember.in massive tl;dr >campaign starts>fetish fuel and junk>player quits>pisses DM off>three hour long shitstorm>campaign overPic related, it's me and the DM is the plasma grenade.
>>19437799>Her magic missile was a blob of semenI think I'd have gotten out at that point.
>>19437876I learned that after the campaign.I've seen some shit.
>>19437867> "I thought you were as kinky as me"> Thinks she is a God Tier DM
>>19437924Seriously, what other kinds of spells can we sex-ify?Shocking Grasp->Orgasmic Grasp?
>>19438003I used to have the damn stat block she made for the class and I deleted it promptly after reading it, it was that bad.I can't post enough reaction images that are my face during all of this shit.
>>19437273From memory, she redid the whole wizard class from the ground up for it. Ended up with a bigger spell list than even Wizards have to begin with.
>>19438063Ah shit, was meant to reply to >>19438003
>>19438034She's said she's going to start DMing again, and if she does I'll be back with more glorious trainwrecks.I do this for you Anon.<3And before anyone asked, yes, I have specifically told her to play FATAL if this shit is what she wants. She flipped and raged at me for two hours that time as well, because anything not 3.5e is awful to her.
>>19438140Show her some of the rules, I'm sure she will change her mind.
>>19438174I tried, the yelling only got more caps-lockier.
>>19438174To put it this way, we suggested to her that we play Pathfinder instead of 3.5E and she royaly flipped her shit. Not because of any fault of Pathfinder, but because it wasn't 3.5E.
>>19438140Update, she just showed a character sheet for the campaign. http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=409989What the fuck am I reading
>>19438423what the fuck am i reading
>>19438423
>>19438423I see no attribute below 15. Also, the Boomboom Boomstick appears to be a Wand of Burning Hands that's been Heightened to occupy a fifth-level spell slot. Looks like the rest of it's been taken out of the Dungeon Master's Guide, in the Futuristic Weapons section. I don't recall seeing anything that qualifies as "Ultra-Light" as far as armor goes, though.
>>19438649She homebrews alot, note my three characters. All homebrew.
>>19438671I wasn't aware that homebrew allowed for creating new classifications of armor and fudging attribute scores.Ask her when she plans on letting Samus Aran die.
>>19438710Oh, I completely missed the character portrait because I left No-Script on. This is priceless.
>>19438710No answer, anyway I've got to go to one of my games right now so I'll be back later.Love love /tg/
>>19438423It's a pretty weird character with crazy high stats, but it looks like it sort of sucks for the most part. By level 16 DC 15 isn't that high so she'll have trouble dealing more than a single digit of damage. Perhaps I haven''t played enough high level campaigns but that seems really weak. Everything other than the crunch though... Ugh.
>>19438832God speed.>>19438423isthisreallife.jpg
>>19439010I believe the PCs are starting at level 3.
>>19439048I retract my previous statement and replace it with "Why are you still standing there? Get running!".
>>19439167I did. I'm Pelorbro.Anyway, I have to go play our silly monster race 3.5 campaign. We're clearing out an evil mansion of crazy racist humans.
>>19438423> Picture of Samus Aran> An athletic girl in a tight body suit that hugs her curves. Wears her blonde hair short and carries many futuristic looking magic items she's created herself for the purpose of blowing shit up.> Boomboom is a feisty firecracker who enjoys a good time, which usually means explosions and sex.Oh lordy, pictured related, my face if I was in that campaign.
