"You are telling me... they're going to give us the Congressional Medal of Honor.""Yes."You take a second to process that. "Surely you can't be serious.""Dead serious.""Oh." You think about that. "Oh god FUCK you're fucking kidding me!" you wail. "We didn't earn that! They need, like, a billion witnesses and months of review and the President has to hit the paper with his holy stick of Officiousness and then they go into a building and chant around a seance board and send smoke signals when they decide some guy died in an awesome enough way to earn it. God damn. Jesus, we're still ALIVE!""But-""But but but, no! That's for people that throw themselves on grenades and run up to tanks with demo packs just hoping to die close enough for a kill. THAT is an hero, dammit, I... we... we just fuck around all the time, and, I mean, I just, I, I was TRYING to live, dammit! I fly hard because if I don't I die, I never.. I..."You clap your hands over your head and blow bubbles in the water, trying not to freak out.Then you freak out.
>>19628614indurringpanzer
Naturally.
Inafterpanzer
in after panzer?
>>19628614I suspect this is the reaction of most anyone who gets it while still alive.
>>19628614>an heroDohoho.ATTEMPT TO DROWN SELF OH I SEE YOU'RE ALREADY ON IT WELL DONE
>>19628614>Getting the Medal of HonorHuh...kinda justified in freaking out.Also, PF, I don't think "Congressional" needs to be added; it's just called the "Medal of Honor" to my knowledge.
>>19628614> Surely you can't be serious
Freak out, you say? Imitate a golden fish.
>>19628672>I am. And don't fuck my brother.
>Make like the Arch of Nagasaki
>Medal of Honor.Fuck! Are we sure we're alive, check your pulse! I don't wanna be a zombie pilot!
>>19628668>As the award citation includes the phrase "in the name of Congress", it is sometimes erroneously called the "Congressional Medal of Honor". The official title, however, is simply the "Medal of Honor".[6][7]Oh Wikipedia, what question can't you answer?
>>19628677MC/Chuck porn? Writefags, get on that.
FUCK OFF WITH YOUR QUEST SHIT
>>19628614>freaking out over the MoH, saying he didn't deserve itYep, he's earned it. A good hallmark of a legit MoH awardee is that they don't think they've done anything unusual.
Also.>Pope in Strikers>Gundam Pope>Pic related
>>19628686those ain't the same arches, brohttp://www.snopes.com/photos/architecture/nagasaki.asp
>>19628708man, you sure post alot you raging homo, you don't even sage correctly! Your just feeding the quest man!
>>19628708>Cars: Your cries>Bus: This quest
>>19628732Not that this quest really needs feeding.
Welp.
>>19628735so you admit that a majority of /tg/ does not want you here and yet you still rape the board with your shit? mkay.
>>19628732>alot
>>19628732his post allowed me to find it, thank you Mr. butthurt!
>>19628708Where would you rather it go?
>>19628720That image is terrible and you should feel terrible for posting it.
>>19628752Yes, because you are the vast majority of /tg/....oh wait, no you aren't, you're just one entitled faggot.
>>19628614Man, wait until Ian hears about this, perhaps even he will freak out.
>>19628752>majority of /tg/>threads regularly get over five hundred posts each>"EVERYONE HAS THE SAME OPINION AS ME."Stay delusional.
>>19628752>Implying you represent a majority>Implying SWQ threads aren't among the most popular on the board>Implying you don't love thick black cocks
>>19628777Will his mother freak out too? We could also tell her she's going to be a grandma.
Guys, guys...Just ignore him and move on.
>>19628708Check it out>>19621493
>>19628752No, you seem to misunderstand. No matter how many tears you (and that's in the singular there, fucking english), shed, SUCK MY DICK I'M A BUS!
>>19628783>>19628780>>19628776>Implying he's not trying to derail the quest into a huge argumentGuys, just shut up and move on.
Guys, leave the anti-quest whiners alone. Arguing with them won't help anything.
>>19628732it's called noko+sage, dog.
GUYSGUYSMEDAL OF HONOR
>>19628816[nospoilersontg]Call of duty was better[/nospoilersontg]
>MC's face
>>19628768like i suggested, IRC. where quests and such are more capable of living and not being as obstructive of the board
>>19628832...I cannot argue with that.
>>19628845Just hide the thread. Or use the catalog. Or use the catalog /and/ hide the tread. Bitching does nothing.
>>19628845>obstructive>I am buttmad
>>19628845Why don't you click the [ - ] next to every post? It makes things go away.
Some Jap airsoft company is making a shirley M1911, I don't even
>>19628935Go to bed, Panzer.
/tg/ : still as easy to troll as day 1
"What the hell are we even getting it for, anyways?" "Uh... it's kind of hard to single out one moment," Minna reminds you. "Bullshit-""Okay, there's the suicide attack you made to clear Trude's tail, but it was sticking around to duel with massively superior numbers that really did the trick. They nominated you for the DFC after that one.""Yeah, but-""Chasing down those rocket-bombs was another. The first British pilot that nailed one of our V-1s during the Blitz was decorated, I recall. You're up for the Bronze Star, for that alone, if I recall correctly." "But-""Oh, right, attacking the huge flying freighter of Martian-y death alone.""But we didn't even STOP it!"Minna sighs, rubbing your back affectionately. "Listen... Erica's told me she hates her decorations. She's getting the Oak Leaves added to her Iron Cross, you know. I was on her ass this morning about getting dressed for the ceremony, and I saw her Iron Cross sitting in her dirty laundry hamper!"You just blow sullen bubbles in reply. "She doesn't think she deserves them. This last addition is just for an outstanding kill count, but she says that's more because of German military doctrine and her being a Witch then any spectacular courage on her part." Minna sighs. "She's only partially right, but... she has a point. And it's always hard to receive a decoration when so many of your fellows aren't even around to breathe, anymore."You try to melt into the water and flow away, but fail. Minna releases you and gives you a gentle shove towards the stairs. "Much better. Go get dressed. Your fans await." >Shit. What do?>Talk to Trude?>Talk to Erica?>Talk to a bottle?>other?
>>19628935I'd pay out the ass for those grips.
>other?GO find Robin and give her a hug.
>>19628935>>19628880>>19628878doesn't help when there's a new thread every few hours.and no, i am one man. but i am speaking with the hate of a majority of /tg/. seriously, i don't think you guys understand how many people are sick of quest threads. especially the animu ones that are about having a huge group of internet anons+trip/name fags pursue sex with fake characters.
>>19628967>[x]Yes
>>19628967>You try to melt into the water and flow away, but fail. We'll take that feat next level.
>>19628979This. Robin needs some big bro time.
>>19628967>You just blow sullen bubbles in reply. MC is the most adorable. I can actually see this happening.Also, talk to a bottle.
>>19628983>every few hoursMan, we're lucky if we have two a week.
>>19628979Robin time.
>>19628983They are pretty retarded, and I hate the people here, but you just gotta deal with it.
>>19628983>i don't think you guys understand how many people are sick of quest threadsLet's see.You.That's about it.
>>19628967>otherGet fucking dressed.And full dress uniform this time.
>>19628967>Ogle Minna.>Talk to Erica.>Promise Erica BOOZE and POTATO later.
[x]Talk to Erica"Hey, how do you not panic when receiving an award you don't feel qualified for?"
>>19628983>every few hoursSWQ runs twice a week tops and is just back from like a three week hiatus.You are speaking for your own sperg-addled aching butt and no one else.
>>19628967Talk to Erica. She knows our pain.Plus she's had next to no screen time in the quest so far.
>>19628967Lets talk to Erica!Definatly Erica, perhaps with a bottle>feypest sakeMaybe captcha, maybe.
>>19628967Talk to Trude if we can find her fast, otherwise we have getting ready to do
>>19628967>Talk to EricaShe seems to have a handle on this kind of thing. Or at least she's had to deal with it before.Also, go get dressed.
>>19628967Talk to Erica. But please, keep her away from our balls.
>>19628978>checkered grips>2012>ISHYGDDT
>>19628967Robin, definitely Robin.
WHERE THE FUCK IS SAKAMOTO? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE SAW HER? FUCK.
>>19628967"How 'bout a kiss for good luck"
>>19628967Erica and Trude. They hang out together.
>>19629052Oh shit nigga.
Weren't we suppose to freak out? Like, badly?
>>19629032>>19629013>>19629000Guys. Focus.
>>19628967Let's talk to NOBODY AND ASSEMBLE THE PILLOW FORT.AND RAID SOME ICE CREAM.
>>19629069HEY!EXCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS.
>>19629076Minna knows how to keep us calm, it seems. I strongly suspect magic at work
>>19629049It's an airsoft M1911, that shoots fucking bee-bees, and its priced more then a real god damn M1911, seriously, planefag paid 7 dollars more for his and its the real thing. He's not trying to objectify woment or any bullshit god damn
>>19629098...Or maybe MC is just a normal 20-year-old, and enjoys the feeling of a pretty girl sitting naked on his back.
>>19628983I did a survey of threads a few weeks ago. I checked the catalog every day for a week. I found roughly 7-10 quests (only 1-3 active with the others on pages >5), 12-38 warhammer threads (especially since 6th edition came out), 11-20 D&D threads, 5-16 MtG threads, and 0-8 new at /tg/ wat do threads. I had an excel sheet for this crap.
>>19629114At least she is not walking on his back giving a massage
>>19628983>majority
>>19629068Don't you mean, Where's Kathy.She's probably going to get an award to for being a mid-air psychiatrist and getting the A-20 landed.
>>19628967>Inb4 we get drunk with Erica and stumble to the ceremony together.>Inb4 she steals Mallory's hat and calls him a fat head.
>>19629126Dude. Leave it.
>>19628967Let's speak with Robin, and dress fancy.>>19628983>pursue sex with fake characters.I fucking wish, Martians actively cockblock us.
>>19629086Shit, this is actually a perfect time for that.We're stressed, and imoutos (especially Sanyan) have proven good at helping with that in the past. And part of what we're stressed about (presumably) is because we're worried about Robin, and how our being a heavily-decorated Big Damn Hero will make it even harder to get her to go home. So some quality time with her wouldn't be a bad idea.
>>19629139> martiansI think you mean Patton
>>19629142It's been the perfect time for the last few threads, but /tg/'s collective ADD can never get around to it.
Reading all this arguing about quest threads brought on a friggin' migraine...Anyways...[x] Talk to EricaShe understands our medal aversion... Also, we really haven't got to talk with her much, anyways.
>>19629154No, technically both. And I think Tesla might be in there too, but he gets a pass for the Flying Shark of Death.
>>19629136Oh, yes!
>>19628967Yeah, we haven't oogled her at all since crashing into the bath.I feel as though we would be remiss in our duties if we didn't sneak a peek on our way out.
>>19629207+1
So, guys. In 60 years, what do you think our level will be like when they make a game about the martian war?
>>19629219You mean our game right?
>>19629207>sneek a peakMore like "blatantly ogle her and make a comment about her body."
>>19629219Considering how often we get our dicks knocked into the dirt? 6. We just roll really goddamn well.
>>19629219Gonna be some Audie Murphy shit where they have to tone it down to get people to believe it.
>>19629243Yeeeaaaaaah. Yeah.
>>19629219The devs will be split into two groups: One half will want to make an action game, the other will want to make it a romance game, and the end result will be a piss-poor excuse for either type that fails to deliver on even the most basic levels. It's made by Bioware.
>>19629207How can we miss this opportunity to ogle her sweet, sweet ass?
>>19629243"Damn, I was right. That *is* a perfect rack."
>>19629242You mean the one made by the President for Life, MC Young's company?Pretty stoaked. Then were going to watch the alt world anime about manly men fighting Nazis.
>>19629287Ok.Ass, thighs, legs, chest.Which is ogled first? MAN HAS PRIORITIES, YOU KNOW?
>>19629300Looks like Minna's got that wet stowage going on.
>other?Find our crew so that they may join us on our shitstorm adventures. Possibly all going to hang with Erica after for advice and chilling
Some time later, you stumble down the stairway from the dormitory wing towards the lounge. You trip over the carpets and aim for a big, comfy chair, toppling into it with a gentle pomph."Hello?" somebody says. You look over and notice Erica and Trude reclining on one of the couches, their dress uniform collars undone for comfort. "You okay?""Uh, yeah."Trude frowns. "Then why is your hat on sideways, your tie tangled around your neck and your buttons done up one hole off?" You look down at your coat. "I'm so totally smashed," you lie. "I mean, ahm so totallhay smaffed~""Uh huh," Trude says dubiously. "Are you sure you're not freaking out over the awards ceremony?" "No!" you say. "Why would I!""Oh, you know, the whole world watching and stuff," Erica says glibly, staring at the ceiling and looking incredibly bored. "Blah blah face in every newspaper, yadda yadda hope of the Motherland, smile or people will think their savior is a loser, you know, the PR bullshit."You swallow."Uh, so it's gonna be big."Trude looks at you like you just grew a tail and ears. "We've got half the command staff of half the worlds Armies on this rock. The hell do you think?" You swallow again. "Aha. Uh. Kay."Trude leaves her couch and approaches you. Taking your hat, she sets it atop your dome in the proper orientation, then starts untangling your buttons, one by one. "Relax. You just have to smile and look pretty for the cameras." Behind her, Erica snorts. "Oh god, you lying bitch."
>>19629305Dem thighs.
>>19629305 Since MC always has aimed at the legs first before...
So...you guys are currently debating on which part of a fake character to ogle first...and you don't think there's anything wrong with this? That Guy general?That Guy general.
>>19629313>"We've got half the command staff of half the worlds Armies on this rock. The hell do you think?" "Imminent martian attack?'>you lying bitchUh oh!
>>19629305You just need to lie back and enjoy the whole package.Captcha: questsE following
>>19629313Aw shit, Erica's about to go full-cynical.
>refresh page 0>Submersible Witches>SWQ right under itWell, I guess that's happening.
>>19629313http://www.mediafire.com/?q3lp3baxzr748I KNEW I UPLOADED TWO GIGS OF TRUDE FOR SOME REASON! TRUDEFAGS ASSEMBLE!
If we're lucky, there'll be a Martian attack to interrupt the entire fucking ceremony before it goes too far.
>>19629354Not feelin' it anymore bro.Time to move on.
>>19629364Great idea.. So they're gonna have to tape two MOH's together and stick em on ya.
>>19629313OH GOD THEY DO EXPECT US TO TALKOH FUCK NO
>>19629313>"Oh god, you lying bitch."Our face is still fucked up isn't it?
>MC is expected to make a speech
>>19629354All Trudefag team members assemble for takeoff. For the glory of our waifu!
>>19629389Oh, god fucking dammit. I can't believe you walked us into that, planefag. I see what you did there.
>>19629381;_; ok.... http://www.mediafire.com/?dl5jo68valn5tthen get all your other strikewitches prons here I guess.....
>>19629313Whatever we do, don't forget to wear our boxers.Someone is going to have no underwear at this ceremony.It will not be us.
>>19629313>Trude undressing us
>>19629408Oh, fuck.> Do you expect me to die?> No, Mr. Young, I expect you to talk!
>>19629432Its OK! We made up with Minna, that means we can fuck it up some other way now!
>>19629449Butthurt waifufag detected
>>19629422We're wearing pants... We're already out of uniform.Idea?Sure as hell will take our mind off the speaking.
>>19629464>Implying anyone left in the thread isn't a waifufag by now.
>>19629449Not again...
>>19629464I like to think it is more the way of Planefag. Anything that is going well has to come crashing down in a horrific ball of flames, and he will be there, chalice in hand, harvesting all of our tears of frustration and laughter as it happens.
>>19629313"I'm getting medels for things that just... Needed to be done.I have to get up on a stage and get a fistful of medels pinned to my chest, televisions, newspapers, radios all across America, across the world, are all going to be talking, reviewing, and cheering about my exploits.They're going to leave out the part where the plane was full of booze when i shot down those bombs for sure.They're going to interview my parents, my drill sargent, my sister, my-Holy crap i just noticed you're just doing this to take off my shirt!"
>>19629498>They're going to leave out the part where the plane was full of booze when i shot down those bombs for sure.>Mentioning that in front of Trude againTread carefully.
>>19629497Ahahahaha no. It's more a matter of the choices leading to pain and Planefag simply keeping track of what anon has fucked up.
>>19629481The witches don't have to wear pants. Why should we? We CMH now.
>>19629536It's a bit of both, but there's no denying that Planefag has monkey-pawed some shit we've done. Not that I begrudge him for this in the slightest; quite the contrary.
>>19629494>>19629464Gentlemen please, a big event is rapidly approaching for which we are most nervous! The quickest way to sort this all out is to leave ourselves in Trudes capable hands, I'm sure she and Erica have done this many times before, practically guaranteeing our saftey.
>>19629559We don't even know what she's going to be doing! Let's wait a little while before making assumptions.
oh you fuckers know that the little green men are going to attack
That means... IMMINENT MARTIAN ATTACKSAVED BY THE ALIUMS
>>19629580Makes sense. All the big names are gonna be at this fucking circus of a ceremony so we'll have a bunch of second-rate scrubs out on patrol for when the Aliums inevitably attack.
>>19629599HA HA TIME TO EARN A SECOND MEDAL OF HONOR
Trude stiffens. "Erica-""First they'll be like ooooh my goood you're the flower of Teutonic might, whatever the fuck that means, then they'll be like stand at this microphone and read this speech about how Stalin rapes bunnies, then they'll be like SMILE SMILE SMILE then it's 'NO WAIT FROWN WHEN THE SS GUYS ARE POSING WITH YOU' and then they're like, shoot this gun in the air for no reason. Who does that? It's dumb! Last time I aimed at some statue. I guess it was a Gargoyle? Everybody got mad. Who cares! It was fucking ugly! And they're like THAT'S THE POINT but I don't even see, what's the point of art that's ugly as shit and Hitler gets all angry about it but *I* didn't pick the goddamn hat-racks, you know, and *I* didn't decide to serve so much liquor that half the damn generals attending were hammered before we got started and all our hats look the same, the faggot wears this huge-ass cloak but he wears the same fucking hat, who does that?" "ERICA-"
>>19629573Because the gnome god knows we dont make an ass of ourselves enough already.
>>19629627...what?
>>19629627I suspect we're being trolled, son
>>19629627>Stealing Hitler's Hat>194x
>>19629627Erica confirmed for best witch, once again.
>>19629627Erica's plan sounds a lot more fun than whatever Trude has in mind. I say we go with it.
>>19629627HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>19629627...Erica don't like being used for Propaganda.
>>19629627>Trude stiffens.Well if MC wants to call his copilot that, sure
>>19629627Erica, it would have been a Grotesque unless it also functioned as a waterspout.
>>19629627>Stalin rapes bunnesSeems like a low blow to a guy is mostly machine and life support systems by now. I thought the nationalist crap was done with now that the martians attacked?
>>19629627I WANT THIS BITCH PUT TO DEATH NOW!
>>19629627"Shoulda swiped his pants."
"And that whiny bitch was a boring sleazebag fucker anyways," Erica continues. "All PR hacks are. They give you a big lecture about how you have to say this or that simply because it's the smoothest way to bullshit everybody, then they turn right around, in the next second, and try to hit on you. Like you didn't just hear them talking about what good sleazebag liars they are! And they always talk with their hands, like prats." She waves her arms in the air stiffly in mock pantomime. "Or they stand there like they've got a fire poker up their ass and bark at the microphone like it'll cower to their uber-manly barking." She snorts. "And he wants to womanize? I can just see that, that same blank expression as he has sex, just staring and staring and then he starts barking AWWOOOOO WAS IT GOOD FOR YOOOOOOOOOo~" "Oh god," you wail, "how can I deal with this?""Well I pushed Gobbels off the stage-""ERICA!" Trude gasps in horror.Erica just pushes herself over the back of the couch, flailing her arms stiffly, barking 'MIEN GOTT, GOTT, NIEN!' to illustrate her kill."Erica, don't encourage him-""But it worked for me!""Because you broke that fucking SS troopers arm in five places when he grabbed you!" "Oops," she says dryly.
>>19629627Perhaps Erica needs some reassurance too?Oh god, Trude is dealing with two of us now.
>>19629693Pretty sure she's talking about times from before the aliums came.
>>19629693>Referring to the past
>>19629702Well, fuck. Slow clap?
>>19629693She's talking about things that happened prior to alium arrival.The enemy is different, but the faggots, in her opinion, are the same.
>>19629627I think we might be better off for the award ceremony than Erica...Oh fuck... >This was supposed to be Erica's showWe done goofed by existing. Fix it quick!
>>19629702>Erica talking about Goebbels' o-faceI...I don't think I want to live anymore.
>>19629702IF I WAS STILL ALIVE YOUR ASS WOULD BE GRASS!!!
>>19629702>>19629627Remind me why Erica isn't on our list of waifu prospects again?
>>19629702>Goebbels hitting on Erica>The Nazi with like 5 kids...damn, sleazeball.
>>19629702...Erica is flipping the fuck out isn't she. She has PR PTSD.And regular PTSD too but that goes unsaid in Chatêau d'Barin.
>>19629747Shut up Zombie Hitler, we'll call you for season 3.
>>19629702>>19629627best witch ever. Why do we not hang out with her more often?
>>19629749Because she isn't Minna.
>>19629702Ahahahaaa....Oh Hartmann. Both versions of you make me happy
>>19629712>Two MCs.Dick dick, pass?
>>19629749Out of our league
Planefag, has anyone mentioned lately that you're amazing?
>>19629749Your prospective child would be the TrolloChrist, bringer of the end-troll. Loki, made manifest. And nobody wants that.
>>19629772No tits. Also, no plot hooks. She's got her shit relatively together.But mostly, no tits.
>>19629739Dude, aren't you paying attention? She doesn't want a show. If anything, she's probably glad to not be fully in the spotlight.
>>19629702Hm. Okay, let's see if we can trip Mallory or something.Wear one of those reflective safety belts, maybe?
>>19629747>if
>>19629782> planefag answering questions between postsPlanefag, hey planefag! Does MC's name fit the usual naming pattern for the universe?
>>19629788
>>19629801
>>19629782the antics that child will pull would destroy us all!
>>19629810I hear she just passes the blowjobs out....or ball punches. One of the two.
>>19629782HEY FAGGOT, UNBOXING WHEN?
>>19629792Possible, but she also doesn't get to be insufferable.Since it's not all her thing, she can't go full... well... Push an officer off the stage "by accident"
>>19629782No, everyone wants that, except maybe the mind controllers and the Magical Pope Girls.
>>19629749Fuck waifuing, we need to get her and the boys together for drinks after this. She is the only one who can match our requisite mayhem quota for membership.
>>19629826http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?3uctjy05au343l5YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD!
>>19629782>Your prospective child would be the TrolloChrist, bringer of the end-troll. Loki, made manifest. >And nobody wants that.>not wanting to be the father of loki >1945>ISHYGDDT
>>19629816>Must be New York>You noticed the Chrysler Building?>... oh. Well I saw the Facism first, but NOW I see the building, yeah
>>19629830I've decided to delay, if possible, till I can unbox in front of my conservative, Southern cousins, who don't know jack fucking shit about anime, in the least.Down in Georgia. Will that be enough reason to delay? Y/N
Planefag,I though back on our achievements through out this quest and one you forgot that is worth mentioning is us solo killing a flying dred out at sea then landing a fucking widow on a carrier and taking back off to save the plan.
>>19629856>TOUCH FLUFFY TAIL
>>19629888Only if you get it on video. Pictures are insufficient.
>>19629845I suppose a fembro Erica is fine too.
>>19629845>ignoring Sakabroto
>>19629888Hmm...if you can get out of Georgia safely, then yes.
>>19629888Dude, you will die."The internet got this for me."
>>19629888the devil did go down to Georgia... But only if you get it on video!
>>19629907It's pretty much just Minna.
>>19629907I'm pretty sure Kathy was probably up there a little
Perhaps MC should wear his neon samuri headband with his dress uniform...
>>19629888only if you record it.
>>19629801...God damn it, Planefag.
>>19629935>hide NEON SAMURAI HEADBAND underneath dress capYesssssssssss.
>>19629935we NEED to do this.
>>19629888inb4 it gets destroyed.
>so you admit that a majority of /tg/ does not want you here and yet you still rape the board with your shit? mkay.A true sign that something is /tg/ related; that people bitch about it.
>>19629888Y>>19629749> list of waifu prospectsThat reminds me, is there anybody high up there other than Minna and Trude?
>>19629955Didn't we have a lot of british bros as back up? The common man will probably be barred from the meeting.If it's the medal of honor we're talking about then FDR will be here. Time for the rolling courtmartial's first race down the runway imo.
"Mister, ignore EVERYTHING she says," Trude tells you sternly, with that look of hers, that expression that says she is not to be ignored."Pffffffft," Erica replies with a drawn-out raspberry. "What's wrong with it!" "You just told him to push officers off the stage!" "No I did not!""Erica, you-""Push gigantic PR hack faggots off the stage. Geez! Get it right!" "ERICA!" With your tie done up, Trude moves onto your buttons. "Seriously. He's freaking out now, you can't just-""Actually, I'm feeling a bit better now," you say truthfully. Some of Erica's casual lack of fucks has ignited those old fires in your soul. You feel a little more in your element. "You're going to get your nation's highest award," Trude tells you sternly, and your stomach drops again. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, you can't-""Boo-ring," Trude yawns. "Been there, done that, like, twice. Or three times?" She scratches her head. "Or was that the Blue Max?" "There IS no-""They're totally going to bring it back-""NO THEY ARE NOT!" "Yes they aaaare~""AURGH!" Trude grunts, grabbing at her face in frustration. "Erica, please, just once, just look.... passively uninterested. Instead of dynamically bored. Please?"Erica considers this. "Nope.">BOUT DAT TIME CHAPS>Let Erica escort you to the ceremony?>Let Trude escort you?>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?
>>19629935+1 to this.Even better if we could get everyone else to as well :P
>>19629986I'm sorry to break it to you, Mein Fueher...but the Martians ate you. Like, literally tore you apart and devoured you.They said that you were kosher, but a bit gassy.
>>19629932It's only Minna. Two reasons:1) Sheer numbers.2) Everybody else, save a few people whose posts get lost in the ocean of piss, won't really do anything to oppose it.
>>19629979>>19629932>>19629907We heard you the first time, faggot.
>>19629938That's the whole point, yes.
>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates.God knows we need some of both.
>>19630007Well, might as well BOUNCE them.>Bring Erica
>>19629990>showing FDR the Rolling Court MartialOH SHIT OH FUCK OH HELL OH MY GOD.YES.
>>19629888Yes if it gets on youtube.
>>19630007>BOUT DAT TIME CHAPS
>>19630007Forget them.We walk in with Robin on our arm. She is the only acceptable escort. Time for her to see how bro works.
>>19630007If we're going to get a Medal of Fucking Honor we're going to do it right, one lady on each arm and a massive grin on our face. Let's do this.
>>19630007>Let Erica escort you to the ceremony?They will see us walk in together and they will quake in their fucking boots.
>>19630011body double
>>19630007Go with god. Go with Erica.
Go together with Crew and Trude! Ian needs moral support against his mother!
>>19630007>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmatesAnd get Robin involved in this too.
>>19630007>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?This, but when we're alone with Erica hatch a plan for her to instigate stealth trolling maneuvers. Punch spiking at least.
>>19630007I'm torn between>Let Trude escort you?and>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?
>>19630007Double escort.>upTown entitled>entitled>entitled>entitledCAPTCHA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
>>19630007Its Dangerous to go alone, take this!(Erica aquired!)
>>19630063>Reach punchbowl>Patton nods to you, fiddles with his hat and pours a half liter out of it.>walks off whistling.
>>19630007>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?She can make sure Ian doesn't flee his fate.
>>19630085>Everyone is punching the spike>Everyone's going to get wasted
>>19630085... dammit, I'm getting that predictable?
>>19630085>take a swig>he's spiked it with furniture polish
>>19630007>Let Trude escort youBecause, as much as we give no fucks, we can't be a bad example to Robin. Who's going to be RIGHT FUCKING THERE.Press? Fuck them.Brassholes? Fuck them too.The World? Fucks given:0Parents? Dad would understand.Robin? ...Goddammit, a fuck is given.
>>19630101>Punching the spikeGod damn, someone must've spiked my punch.
>>19630076All the way?
>>19630102Also, just saying PF, but you lagged out some time ago.
>>19630116Nope, Freudian slip..That punch is going to be clear by the time we get to it.
>>19630011Nobody expects Martian Cyborg Hitler!
Gentlemen, the press can smell fear. Ergo we take Erica to help bolster our gives no fuck image.
>>19630007>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?Why is it that I read this just fine the first time, but every time I see it in somebody else's posts I misread it as "go with Erica to buy you spirits"?
[x]EscortAdorable Cossack.Only acceptable request, Night Fliers assemble!
>>19630016Sorry. Where I come from posts happen slowly enough that all anyone would have seen would be one concise, errorless post.
>>19630007>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?It really is the only sensible choice.
>>19630149Sorta like how no one expects the gnomish inquisition :P
>>19630157We've had enough Eiladrama for one day
>>19630102Patton has, at least. How could anyone imagine him not doing it?
>Setting up for cliffhanger>I wont say it, but you know it's coming.
>>19630165...Do you come from /po/?
>>19630155>Implying that isn't a superior optionThat said, I'll go with the one that has the votes behind it.>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates.
>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?Yes
>Go with Erica, Trude AND your Wingmen
>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates.>Also bring Sanyah along
>>19630229>And use some fucking swagger, goddamnit
>>19630222Your filenames, every fucking time.
>>19630244We should walk in like it's the last scene of A New Hope...Who's Chewie?
>>19630244>Tip hat>Shit-eating grin
>>19630241You know, we should spend more time with Robin.We've been spending so much time with adoptive little sisters, that we've been ignoring our real little sister.
>>19630262Chuck or Trude. She won't get a medal and will probably bitch about it during the ceremony.
>>19630264>Every hat>Every grin
>>19630279This
>>19630262Sean, the only man who could fit that role.
>>19630290Hmm...we should have Erica try and steal a hat.
>>19630262cupcake
>>19630262>Chewie>Hellcow
>>19630300from the brass
>>19630305OH GOD YES HAHAHA
Go with Erica, have Trude provide supervision.
>>19630208Nope. Someplace much further. I'll try not to make a mess. No promises.
>>19630339>much furtherGo home /th/
>>19630339Hail, /thp/! Don't worry, we won't bite.
>>19630352>Puts away pitchfork
>>19630339>Using my lines.Oh golly. We are now best friends.
Castle Barin is a god-damned madhouse. It is truly a sketch of mighty pomp and glamor alongside the dirty horror of war. Technicians and workers strain in teams of several men each to haul away the immobile wrecks of disassembled and crash-landed fighters as opposing teams of tired local women haul in wooden platforms and stairways and nails and garlands and all sorts of decorative frilly paperworks. Techs scurry around leaving trails of microphone and power cables like tracks. Before your eyes, a massive podium and stage and press-box are constructed as the entire Hangar is emptied out and transformed into a huge gala room.On one side of the room you spot Ian and Sean casually stalking a pair of aides carting gigantic punch bowls, and Trude rushes to intercept them, striding away with brisk businesslike steps. A passing MP takes too long staring at her ass and stumbles right into General Arnold, whom shushes his desperate apologies until Trude's out of sight, then spares some attention for the poor bastard. "So now what?" "Free food, derrrrr" Erica says, unimpressed with your party acumen, and leads you to the catering tables. The tables are already crowded with officers, brass, foreign dignitaries and officials of all stripes, all of them angling for the eats. "Well, nuts to that," you state. Erica smirks. "Observe."She strides up to the table, businesslike. "Press!" she shouts. Like a horde of eager locusts, most of the dignitaries and juniormost officers flock for the designated press areas on the other side of the hangar."The press is here already?" you ask, joining her at the table and picking up a plate.Erica shrugs. "Maybe. Who gives a shit?"
>>19630370>A passing MP takes too long staring at her ass and stumbles right into General Arnold, whom shushes his desperate apologies until Trude's out of sight, then spares some attention for the poor bastard. Hahahaha, I like this guy.
>Go with Erica to bouy your spirits and ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates?
>"Free food, derrrrr" Erica says,the best
>>19630370> no picturesAre you feeling okay, planefag?
>>19630370Apropos of nothing, but I learned this from one of my best friends at debate tournaments. >Walk up to bagel'n'coffee table.>SCHEMATICS!>Hardcore Asian(grind) master debaters rush off to see who their maxim foe shall be next round>Acquire bagels>Egress
>>19630370>Follow the master>Don't drink the punch until AFTER the ceremony
>>19630370Are you sure we can't waifu Erica? She has our best interests in mind here.
>>19630352You motherfucker.
>>19630434She's too bro to waifu.
>>19630456I don't think you understand how lasting marriages work. If she isn't your bro, she'll make a shitty waifu.
>>19630434Kupcakeski and Erica are both off limits, they're so similar to us it may as well be incest.Inb4"Whataboutactualincest?"
>>19630472No, I mean she's TOO bro. It's like she's our sister.
>>19630472She's too similar to us. Not as bad as Cupcake, but close.
>>19630434I think it's too late to change tracks without fucking things up.As for why Erica wasn't persued: a mix of lack of plot relevance at the time (or time in the story for that matter) and the ultra-white knight Minna fan brigade charging in.
>>19630481In during "whataboutactualincest".
>>19630481>>19630512Too lewd.
As you appropriate a truly staggering amount of what you think is crab, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, you notice one of the remaining men is General Patton himself. He's tilting the coffee dispenser to eke the last of its contents into a large mug. His uniform is spotless, his grooming impeccable, his bearing rigid and formal, and his entire body radiates filthy exhaustion, like a man who's just stumbled off a long, dusty pilgrimage. His aides are hovering attentively, but he ignores them, pulling out his own chair at a nearby table and falling into it heavily. From behind, you notice a man in a dark suit stealthily pad closer, slipping a notebook from his pocket. From his sharklike expression, you smell a reporter. From beneath the table, you hear a soft giggle, and notice the hem of the tablecloth move slightly. >Move away. I want none of Patton's sad to-day.>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.>Observe silently.
>Follow the master>Don't drink the punch until AFTER the ceremony
>>19630481>>19630484Inb4 indeed.
>>19630481>>19630512Its ok, they're not blood related. Also, it didn't stop us with Cupcake.
>>19630536And that turned our just great, didn't it?
>>19630519Aid the ambuscade. We only sic the press on our worst enemies, of which Patton certainly is not one of.
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.>>19630536That's... different.
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.
>>19630519Hey, PF. Finished SuWQ tonight, and I'm in no way plugging for more reads/hate.
>>19629782Coming in at late o'clock to say do what they did with Superman: launch him into SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.Preferably at Mars.
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.The real question is who is under the table.
>>19630519>>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.
>>19630544>Minna washing us in the bathroomVery fucking well, I'd say.
>>19630519>Observe silently.
>>19630519>Move away. I want none of Patton's sad to-day.Patton, I know you've had a rough day...but you're still a cock-blocking asshole. Consider this even.
>>19630549You could at least include a link.Which I would do if I wasn't too lazy to do it.
>>19630519Help Patton out; he's a broBesides, how is he gonna be in appropriate shape to spike the punch at this rate?
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.make sure to tell him no more cockblocking
>>19630519>this should be good
>>19630519Observe. He cockblocked us. This is our payback.
>>19630574>Readin SuWQ>2011
>>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.Patton's a Bro. Brohirrim, to arms!
>>19630561We managed to salvage that. Let's not test it again
>>19630519>Aid Patton!
>>19630580No, we handle him like anyone who crosses us. With dignity, grace, mutual respect, and honor.And then we talk to Rommel about how we get him to rise up on his booze-soaked hind legs and howl "Jesus Christ, it's the goddamn Panzer Elite and that son of a bitch pilot again."
>Observe silently.
>>19630574That would mean I'm actually plugging it, though.
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.On one hand he cock blocked us.On the other Sharkplane.
>>19630519>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.No press shall pass on our watch.
Help him after he cockblocked us? NOOOOPE
>>19630576I doubt whatever Patton did compares with what anon did to themselves most of the time. Not even PF's occasional cockblock ex machina compares with these reader's compulsion to cockblock themselves while going for stupid options.
[x]observe silentlyAfter he cockblocked us? Let him suffer.
We have to get a good meaningful bounce in today.
>>19630646>whatever patton didhe cockblocked the shit out of us. now, im not saying that we haven't made stupid decisions, merely that that one was 90% patton
Wait a second.> ask Trude to provide adult supervision for your fucking crewmates>adult supervision for your fucking crewmates>fucking crewmatesIs there something about Ian and Sean's relationship you haven't been telling us, planefag?Also vote:>Aid the ambuscade - poor Patton's had enough shit, looks like.It'd be good for Patton to owe us one, even for a smallish thing.
>>19630519>Observe silently.Fuck Patton. I want to see some carnage.
>>19630620Ah, I guess you confused me. Not really a hard thing to do, to be honest.
>get Erica in on it>Bounce the press
>From beneath the table, you hear a soft giggle, and notice the hem of the tablecloth move slightly. Wait what?
You quickstep away from the table, so the reporter is between you and it."HEY HEY REPORTER JAY!" you yodel. The man in the suit turns his shark-face towards you, surprised, and as soon as he does Robin makes her move, lunging from underneath the table, still wearing that damn silly plastic helmet Patton gave her. She leaps into the air, hands out-stretched in grasping, eager claws, and she strikes in perfect silence."DURRRFF-" the reporter says, falling to the ground like a sack of wet potatoes. Robin has certainly improved on her technique. She looks up at you, grinning like a fool, as the reporter moans miserably, then passes out."Is that your sister?" Erica asks."How did you know?""Gee," she says dryly, and you shrug, conceding the point. "Hey!" Robin shouts, pointing behind you, where there's a dozen or so pissed-off Junior officers returning from the press-box, egos unstroked, and looking rather pissed. "This way!" Trude says, latching onto your wrist and dragging you towards the nearest hangar wall. She ducks behind a concrete Striker Stand (temporarily serving as a base for a massive propaganda poster) and ducks underneath a workbench that's been cleared of tools and laden with sound equipment. You dive for a side-door from the hangar, and find yourself in a narrow room with a perilous spiral staircase ascending into the gloom.So THAT'S how Zuuchini gets up there.That's about when somebody shoves a small pistol into the back of your neck. "Climb.">Yeah>Naw
Oh, by the way, guys. This Press guy? He's FAIR GAME.He's outside of the designated press areas.Hell, with the military situation as it is, he might be breaking some serious laws?That makes him legitimate prey.
>>19630711I'd rather not overstep my bounds and deem my quest as actually worthy of a plug.
>Yeah
>>19630751>NawWe don't do pistols on the first date.
>>19630751OH HELL NAW.
>>19630751every. single. goddamn. time
>>19630751Yeah... Naw.
>>19630751>"This way!" Trude says,Don't you mean Erica? Wasn't Trude off with our crew?Also [x] Climb, snark insufferably the whole way up.
>>19630751>Pistol>Machine gnomeBitch, please
>>19630751Huh...naw.
>>19630751Gun? Not a problem"No... Did you ever wonder what happens now?"
>>19630751>YeahWE NEED ALTITUDE
>>19630751Mamma always said to listen to the man with a gun.>yeah
>>19630791this. complain that no one on this fucking base can have a conversation without being ridiculously violent or threatening. start counting witches that have tried to kill us
>>19630751>YeahI enjoy where this is going.
>>19630751
"Look, if I told Sean I didn't want his gun pressing up against my backside, I'll tell you the same thing.">Yeah
[x]YeahClimb up, but then GNOME that pistol broken, turn around and pull our own.
Nawww....Debullet that gun with gnome shit
>>19630751How's about some no.
>>19630751> pistol to the necknoooooooope.> robinvery nice. And well thought out on patton's part, too.
>>19630751>That's about when somebody shoves a small pistol into the back of your neck.What the fuck?I choose option 3:>Assess the fucking situationWho's got the gun? Why do they want us to climb?
>>19630751>Gnome the safety>on the "click" proceed to CQC
>>19630751>Naw
>>19630795's reasoning seems pretty good. There is the chance it's [insert waifu here] getting us alone for sexy/romantic times, but if so she can damn well do it normally.>Naw
>>19630751>Naw"Shirley, you can't be serious."
>naw
>>19630858Fuck!
"Yeeah," you think, imagining yourself being escorted up to the catwalks at the hangar's roof, then being introduced into a totally accidental fall. "Naw." You hear the sound of a pistol being cocked, which just offends the hell out of you. Killed by a double-action? That's just offensive. "Move.""I'll die here, thanks. Not a fan of short falls and sudden stops."Somewhere, in the corner of your brain, your common sense is screaming in terror and confusion. Meanwhile, your fighting instincts are calculating the best way to ram this guy's colon up his nose for trying to fuck with you, which is way too important to bother listening to whiny Common Sense. Always so uptight. Christ. "This won't kill you. Twenty-five ACP."Oh.Twenty-Five ACP. Proof that Samuel Colt's lasting legacy includes a hefty dose of bitter, violent irony and sadistic cruelty, usually for its user ... and if you take one of those in your spinal column, tragedy for you.You shudder with very real dread. "Fine." You take one step, two, three, and then you make your move.
>>19630847>>19630828>>19630826>>19630795I love how we've gone from NO ONE MUST KNOW ABOUT THE GNOME POWERS to proposing blatantly obvious use of gnome powers at every opportunity.
>>19630751Oh hell naw
There's a gun in our back and a witch with super strength behind us. Go with it but gnome the safety.
>>19630751Oh god, Dave Stirling wants his knife back
>>19630842Agreed.We've got plenty of people on this base who'd introduce themselves wit ha pistol in the small of the back, so we should take a moment to figure out who this one is.
>>19630880>Guy>>19630876We aren't being overt... He just is a shitty assassin/kidnapper/blackmailer/idiot and forgot to check his ammo right?
>>19630875sigh...even the guys on base are trying to kill us now
>>19630876It happened when we realized that there's actually a counter-conspiracy of other gnomes, and this war is the best chance to be able to operate in the open with few repercussions.
>>19630875Hmm... if what's happening is what I think is happening... can we cram a flash Gordon reference or possible a boondock saints reference in?
>>19630895They've been kept strictly quarantined away from the sexy pantsless witches the whole time they've worked there, then we show up and within a span of days are nearly getting laid. I don't blame them.
>>19630921we flew them a P-friggin-61 FULL OF BOOZE. the least they can do is be grateful enough not to jam pistols in our necks
>>19630902I get not being quite so strict on the secrecy, but pulling a complete 180 just strikes me as a bit odd. I mean, our problem with the whole gnome thing was personal discomfort with the idea as much as fear of being brutally silenced by the anti-gnome conspiracy. It's the *eagerness* to use gnome powers all willy-nilly that throws me.
>>19630875>InDuring OSS
The most surprising thing you've learned in combat - especially that last tangle with the Martian Ace - is just how little area your guns actually threaten. Especially on a plane with no gun convergence, like yours, only that tiny dot under the gun piper spells death for your enemy - certainly, if it didn't, your wide-assed Widow would've been blown clean out of the sky by now. You can be right on top of an alium's rubbery green ass for twenty minutes, fire every shell in your gun, and never actually hit him as long as he keeps three degrees off your nose-cone. And of course, you witnessed Sanya put a bullet across Minna's thick skull, too.You use that knowledge now as you're herded up the narrow little staircase. You slip a few times on the narrow steel risers, and you wait for your captor to do the same. Soon enough, he stumbles, and presses the little automatic against your head, above your left shoulder, rather then your neck. You turn your head to the right, as if looking at the staircase centerpost.The gunshot smashes your ears as the bullet whispers along through your hair and SPANGS! off the brick walls of the shaft. You fall backwards, and with great grace and precision, simply ride the motherfucker down the stairway.
>>19630875>Twenty-Five ACP. Proof that Samuel Colt's lasting legacy includes a hefty dose of bitter, violent irony and sadistic crueltyYou. I knew there was a reason I liked you.
>>19630945Willy-nilly?We've never "Played" with our gnomery... Even when Sakamoto came after us because we were being a drunk dumbass, we only used what we needed to have a convenient escape.
>>19630945We've been flat-out told that the most likely conspirators know we're a gnome, and don't care. If consequences don't seem likely, why not start flexing that muscle?
>>19630875Hmm...OSS? SOE? Or is it none of the above?>>19630960Huh, nice dodging there.
>>19630960>You fall backwards, and with great grace and precision, simply ride the motherfucker down the stairway.My sides are moving on their own!
>>19630960>Beat the fuck outta some cheeky bastard
>>19630960make sure he hits every step on the way down. And commence beating the shit out of him if he's still alive afterwards.
We've never been told of any goddamned conspiracy.
>>19630960Who's at the bottom?
>>19630960This is going to be interesting.
>>19630982>>19630987Seconding these.
>>19630965We haven't actually done it, but every time something remotely resembling an opportunity comes up we get a half-dozen responses jumping at the chance. That's what I'm talking about -- the player responses, not the stuff that actually makes it into canon.
>>19630974IIA.Incompetent Idots Agency.
>>19630960Aww yeah we surf assassin now.
>>19630960WEP just kicked in, yo
>>19631002>not the stuff that actually makes it into canon.And thank god for that.Also what the fuck, they actually fired!? What the hell is going on?
>>19631026We shall get close and then NEXT TIME
>>19631002Because anon is in it for the lulz, and magic is lulz.
>You fall backwards, and with great grace and precision, simply ride the motherfucker down the stairway.
He strikes the concrete violently, and you bounce as you slam into his chest, then roll off to the side with the spare momentum. He's on you like a savage mongoose, swarming over you like an eager lover, a really nasty mean violent kill-crazy mother - okay, so more like a tax collector. Climbing atop of you, he weathers your fury of grasping attacks and wrenching attempts to establish a grapple-hold. He simply starts punching your belly, somehow getting a full blow without enough room for a half-swing, hands formed into L-shapes, driving swift, brutal stabs straight from the hips into your belly, working up towards your solar plexus. You reach up, grab his ears, and RIP him down into a violent headbutt, then follow the motion with a knee to his ass, throwing him over you. You hear the meaty impact, then the squeak of shoe-leather as the motherfucker just rolls and comes up standing. You're still trying to turn around to meet him, prone, when something louder then a sodomized elephant smashes in your eardrums and lights up the room like the cleansing light of Samuel Motherfucking Colt come to undo the poisonous fruit of his legacy with the holy works wrought by his own hand. In that glorious red flash, you have a moment to appreciate the truly comic shock on the face of the would-be assassin before the bullet punches through his skull. You lay on the ground, stunned, and in the dim light above you looms long, gorgeous, laaaaigs.
How exactly are people insane for wanting to turn off a gun that's POINTED DIRECTLY AT US? Even if it's 25 ACP, which we did not know at the time of voting, it still has a very real chance of permanently paralyzing us for life.
>>19631072"Minna, hi! Nice legs. What just happened?"
>>19631072Who the fuck is...I mean *WAS* that guy?!
>>19631072YAY! Minna!
Awesome, vengeance by Wilcke.
>>19631072Thanks patton!
>>19631072Oh boy...yay, Minana>Martian-made human clone is the assassin.
>>19631072Thanks Jesus.
>>19631072About time our escort turned up.
>>19631072So, what? Zucchini with a gruff voice?Oh who am I kidding, you're going to NEXT TIME us here.
WITCHES CAN SHOOT BULLETS FROM THEIR EYES NOW?!
>>19631072alright, no more games, where the fuck is the spiked punch. PATTOOOOOOONNNNNNN
Even in the gloom, the pretty blue eyes of Katherine O'Hare are vivid and recognizable. "Woooooouuuugh-haaaaaaw-haaaaaw, pil-gram," she drawls, tilting her uniform cap back with the muzzle of her Peacemaker. "I kin see to bouncin, but bush-whakin's a different breed 'o cow. Paaard-neeer."
>>19631072Prettiest legs I've ever had the pleasure of having save my life, thank you legs.
>>19631083What he said, also, see if we can't get a reasonably good look at our attacker.
>>19631120>Kathy"Well, nice shootin' there, miss O' Hare."
>>19631120You best be AMERICA mother fucker
>>19631120>Duke O'HareOh deary me.
>>19631120WE MUST.HUG THOSE LEGS.THAT SAVED OUR OWN.
>>19631120Yay! Not Minna, but still pantsless!
>>19631072"Thanks for the assist. What? Get up? No, don't be silly. I'm... still a bit disoriented. Yes. And not admiring the nice view. Certainly not doing that."
>>19631120ammending:"Kathy! Nice legs! What just happened?"
>>19631120And people asked where she was. Saving our ass right now.
>>19631097I can't stop laughing.
>>19631120So with that way of talking, is Kathy now Miss Kitty?
>>19631120>determine if Kathy is wearing striped panties>That or ask if she has been hiding up there all this time.
>>19631072"If this is your idea of foreplay, minn, I might have to start wear a flack jacket."
>>19631072...wait. You don't think...You don't think MALLORY is behind this?
>>19631170>flack
>>19631120Drawl back,"Praise tuh Jeezuhs, Witchez, an' Samyool Mutherfuckin' Colt. Now what the fuck just happened?"
>>19631176It's Mallory. Anything can happen.
>>19631176Yes, I think MALLORY is behind this.
>>19631176Honestly no...He wouldn't let us get martyred.
NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T EVEN!STRIKE WITCHES will resume FROM FRIKKIN GEORGIA, since the next free time I'll have will be sometime this weekend, because after working the rest of the week straight I'm driving south for two weeks near Brunswick, Georgia, to attend my cousins wedding. If you dick around near Brunswick and/or Jekyll Island, uh, lets go get drunk or summat. SEE YOU SOON AS POSSIBLE. Sorry for the damn week-long wait.
>>19631202you are a bad man!
>>19631202Unboxing when?
>>19631073All I'm saying is that earlier in the quest, everyone was dead set against so much as acknowledging even to ourselves that we had gnome powers, and this in no small part for reasons entirely unrelated to the anti-gnome conspiracy which we have since learned isn't actually a threat. People were opposed to the very IDEA of being a magic-user.Now a decent chunk of the playerbase is the exact opposite of that -- not merely accepting the gnome power, but eagerly clamoring for it in any and every applicable instance.And at any rate, though I do feel (for various reasons) that it's not exactly in character to be jumping to gnome powers as the first-choice solution to every problem, I'm really more just amused by the blatant reversal. Just noting an interesting trend in player thought processes, that's all.
>>19631202Great.Now read SuWQ so I can brag to Panzer and ruin his self-esteem.
>>19631202FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- well, eagerly waiting for weekend, then.
>>19630102Alright guys, let's not screw this up. Let's lay off the sauce for one day.Time to be an elegan/tg/entleman.
>>19631213He will as soon as he can, planefag is a busy man and it came at a busy time in his life.. ah who the fuck am I kidding, it's all kotters fault that planefag hasnt made an unboxing video yet!
Needs more synchronized pistol spinning
>>19631198Of course he would; ostensibly we're part of the same cause, our martyrdom is something he could use and let's face it; we'd be a lot easier to keep in line dead than alive.That being said, i'm not real sold on Mallory trying to send us to a dirt nap, our trolling of him has been moderate at best, especially compared to other higher ups. What I want to know is where the FUCK was Barkhorn when this was going down.
>>19631202Hey Planefag, can you get on IRC for a bit? Got a couple of questions for you if you aren't fucking exhausted after a 7hr Questantime.
I really don't think "Gnome-ness" is really an active skill like what the witches have, but rather passive.But you'll just ignore this.
So is this the part where that one guy drops his Futa Shirley raping Sanya story?
>>19631255might be easier to sexually harass any of hte admins on #swq @rizon,net, especially kota
>>19631214That, and maybe a bit of acceptance on MC's part. He's always struck me as the type to use whatever tools are available, and magic's just another tool now.
>>19631214Well, your Gnome Powers were in full force tonight - but you weren't using magic. Just your inherent understanding of machines, specifically, GUNZ, how they work, and drawing parallels between lessons learned in dogfighting and realities of personal fighting.Apropos of nothing, but the technique MC used to "dodge" the bullet is one used in real life - just get your damn cranium out of the path of the bullet, even by a fraction of an inch, and you're safe. Some readers might recognize the fighting technique your assassin was using, too.
>>19631279>implyingWritefag is probably one of the writefags I get SWQU help from.
>>19631254She ducked behind a striker stand. I misread that too, originally.
Hell of an emotional rollercoaster this run.
>>19631299God, she's more useless then Lynnette.
>I'm not dead yet.>20+ hours of flying says otherwise>HOW DID I TRAVEL 7K+ MILES AND LAND TWO HOURS AFTER I TOOK OFF>FUCKING GAMESTOPAnyway, here is this. Stop. It is a thing. StopWill post more new stuff in the next thread. StopDrawfag is severely jetlagged at the moment. StopThis isn't really funny.Stop
>>19631214Agreeing to this. I noticed back when everyone was throwing hissy-fits about wanting a magic info dump and the like. I'm pretty much a newcomer to this quest so I read most of the threads back to back, so the contrast was really noticeable. I remember how in the first threads people flipped their shit at the POSSIBILITY that we might be magic and how it would ruin everything, and their were -still- skeptics even after Conrad stressed its passive nature.Now everyone wants us running around flicking off lightswitches like we're fucking Dumbledore delivering magic baby atomic bombs and defusing guns with our dirty anathema witch powers rather than going with the theme of just using superior skill and dedication to a craft to succeed.Saddens me that that's the trend in thought but fortunately the story has stayed on the level.
>>19631293>Just your inherent understanding of machines, specifically, GUNZ, how they work, and drawing parallels between lessons learned in dogfighting and realities of personal fighting.I thought that was our magic worked in the first place.
>>19631379Holy motherfuckingballsmyheartgodwow
>>19631274You shouldn't write that here. That's not safe for blue boards! However, there is a SWQ imageboard over on tofusaur dawt yew ess...
oh, before I forget>Martians can control people via their PSIONICS, do so to a witchinb4 the person that she killed was Sean
>>19631379HE'S BACK!
>>19631379Too tired to care.Stop...Ok, enough of that. Here is the sans jacket copy. Sleep now. Hopefully new content will be done for the next thread.
>>19631385Indeed. I'm all for using and knowing about Gnome powers, but for christ's sake.We're not Harry Potter.We're a character with neat buffs, not overpowered spells.
>>19631407Bravo, man.
>>19631386>I thought that was our magic worked in the first place.Bingo. The ability of the human mind IS magic - just look at the insane shit REAL fighter pilots did (case in point, the guy who shot down three Zeroes with an SBD dive bomber.) Just because you're not pushing into that last 10% where you start to do shit that escapes the realm of physical possibility as the limited science/socially acceptable thought of 1943 defines it doesn't mean it isn't magic.
>>19631401We would have recognized his voice.
>>19631425My god, Planefag really is returning to where the quest was best.I love you.
Alright guys, I made something special for you. Since /tg/ is nominally worksafe, I posted it on Tofusaur. Here's the link.http://tofusaur.us/res/463.htmlHave fun, and happy fapping!
>>19631407we should make babiesmy writing talentyour artistic skillfuck joss whedon, this kid would rule the media world
>>19631451>this kid would waste his life making popular quests, forever
>>19631293Assassin's attack.>not enough room for swings>targeting solar plexusWhy am I thinking Wing Chun?
Alright. Archive for this week is UP.http://www.mediafire.com/?c4c67fyb42b2rc1Also contains Subwitches - REMASTERED EDITION. With like indents and fixed typos and shit. Not sure who else of the writefag clan is posting, but DEMONS 4 SOON.
No Thunder and Lightning tonight. But I'll make up for it next session. Oh fuck, will it be made up for. Seriously, hold on to your shit because it's about to get real up in here.Meanwhile, have a picture of your favorite P-38 pilot in the world....No not Dick Bong....FUCK YOU, IT ISN'T RICHARD OLDS EITHER!...Goddammit it's Anders. Thanks to Prunefag's friend PotatoProphet for drawing it, and Prunefag for making sure it got drawn!http://thepotatoprophet.deviantart.com/
Now that we seem to have unfucked Minna, we should update our shit to do list.
>>19631425trust in planefag, faith in planefag>>19631572>still no pillowfort, still no ice cream raidespecially after Lynnette's help, we really need to hop to on some of that...but there's probably a million things we're going to do first
>>19631541*Robin Olds. ROBIN. Fuck...
>>19631572Pillow fortget Minna a day off
March 15th, 1943 08:00RCAF Station Prince Rupert, British Columbia Rick Mabbs and Nathaniel sat in the, significantly smaller than they were used to, mess hall of Station Prince Rupert whe-“MABBS!”-n they were interrupted by a portly man sporting the stripes of a squadron leader. Rick promptly leaped out of his seat and snapped to attention. “Sir!”“Calm down, son. You're in the air in an hour. Command has work for you.”“With all due respect sir, I run night patrols, not day. That doesn't sound like my job.”“Not patrol work, flight lieutenant, reconnaissance. We've got reports of something fishy on the mainland. Not much else.”“Squids, sir?”“We don't know. Whatever it is, command wants someone to fly over and see what's up. You aren't doing anything interesting today, so you get the job.”“Well shit. Nathan, you heard the man. Let's go find us something 'fishy'.” Two hours later, Rick's Beaufighter hummed along several thousand feet above the mountainous northern British Columbia coast-line. Tilting the plane toward the mountains, the two crewmen began scanning the trees.“You see anything, Nathan? Nothin' but trees and rock up here.”“Uh, no- Shit! Wait,” Nathan stood up in his seat, head pressed against the glass, “I think I see something. It's, aw damn, can't see it anymore. Think you can swing around and lose some altitude?”“Swingin' around. Just tell me what I should be lookin' for.”Rick and Nathan stared into the tree-covered mountains, searching for any sign of unusual activity.“See it, Nathan?”“Not ye- Wait! Yeah, yeah!” Nathan shouted, “In that valley! There's something sticking out behind that cliff.”“Oh boy. Valleys and canyons. My favourite.”
Wheeling the plane into the low hills and valleys between the mountains, Rick gaped as they came up to the strange structure. An enormous tower stuck out from the valley floor, topped with a tarnished silver ball. Beside it sat a squat brick building along with a short dirt airstrip.“Prince Rupert, this is Cedar One. You copy?” Rick spoke into the radio.A few seconds later a hurried voice came on, “Gotcha, Cedar One. Found anything?”“I'm about half a kilo north of Mahlon. There supposed to be anything up here?”“Let's see, got an old mining tunnel. Other than that nothin' but trees and rocks. What do you see?”“There's this tower-thing. 'bout two hundred feet tall, I'd say. There's even an itty-bitty airstrip. Doesn't look alien, though. How the fuck did you guys miss this?”“No one flies over there, sir. Anyone flying in from Terrace comes up the Hecate to stay out of the hills. You see any kind of road?”“I think there's a dirt trail heading south. Doesn't look like anyone's been here for a few years. Even if they wanted to, they'd have a hell of a time getting here. The runway's real short and with all the mountains and water I'm beat for how you'd get anything here by land.”“How short is 'real short'?”“Like, two, maybe three thousand feet.”“Jesus. Alright, come on home, Cedar One. We'll send some people to check it out. See if you can follow that trail out.”“Will do. Cedar One out.”
March 16th, 1943 07:00RCAF Station Comox, Vancouver Island Scarlet Harrison stood outside her superiors office and gently knocked on the door. After a few moments and the shuffling of papers, she was called in. Rose McNair sat behind the desk, fingers tented in thought.“Yes, Scarlet?”“Letter from the four-forty-fifth again, chief.” The red-haired witch answered.“For god's sake! Complaining about our engineers again? What could they POSSIBLY need to drive twenty miles to STEAL? I mean, really. It's ridiculous.”“Dunno, but I heard them making a lot of noise the last couple nights. Maybe you should look into it?”“I don't know,” Rose dropped her forehead into her palm, “we'll see. Is that all?”“Should be. Was about to leave for patrol. Any interesting news?”“Nothing. Erm, dismissed.”Scarlet waved and stepped out into the hall. A few doors ahead Ayak stepped out carrying a fishing rod and a collection of buckets. The two witches shared a nod as they parted. Such was life for the past two weeks at Station Comox.
March 16th, 1943 12:00 Station Comox had always looked, for the most part, like an enormous log cabin. It had a very natural feel and could be very relaxing, provided it was quiet. Only two witches sat in the quiet mess hall that afternoon In the corner, Johanna Wiese, the former German prisoner-of-war, silently read to herself while Jane Edwards sat at the other end of the table eating her breakfast. A series of quick footsteps thudded through the halls, followed by Scarlet and Riley bursting through the doors and plopping themselves down at the table.“How did it go?” Johanna asked, closing her book.“Pretty swell,” Scarlet answered, “Saw a couple of them Firey-whatsits. I got a couple, Riley got three. Good day.”“I got a bug in my mouth,” Riley groaned.“That'll happen,” Scarlet turned to Johanna, “so it's been, what? Two weeks since you got here? How you liking it?”“It's,” the German witch started, trying to think of the right word, “different. You are all much more relaxed than back home. Everyone was always so tense and professional. It got frustrating at times. Here, even when I was a prisoner I was treated like a friend. My room was comfortable, I had good food to eat, your witches would come down and talk to me. Even though they knew, they never spoke of the war. They only asked me about my home and how I grew up, even though I killed peo-”“Hey, hey, hey,” Scarlet interrupted, “point is, you're one of us now. Where did they put you anyways? Sounds nice.”
“Oh, it was the Minnie Bishop Academy. Sometimes they would even let me sit in on the classes and I got to meet Missus Bishop herself!”“No way! So you went to MB, too? You really are one of us! Ain't that right, Jane?”Jane only gave a thumbs up as she continued eating.“Th-thank you,” Johanna mumbled, trying to wipe away a tear before anyone noticed, “I didn't know you went to that academy as well. Perhaps we saw each other and didn't even notice.”“Nah,” Scarlet waved her hand dismissively, “right when the war started they scooted the older girls off to military training. Jane's a year younger than us, but somehow she got in too. We were the first group to enter service after Black Friday. Two of them were a bit older than us, and we got stuck with a CO from the Great War. Somehow we picked up the name 'Demons' along the way. Six of us. Jane, Rosie, Kate, Diane and, uh, Wendy, the boss.”Without a word, Jane rose from her seat and stepped out the door, taking her bowl of cereal with her. Scarlet shoved her face into her palm and groaned.“Huh? Who's 'the boss'? Do I know her?” Riley asked.“Wendy was,” Scarlet stared at the table, face now in both hands, “okay it's like this. We fought in the US for a good year, we didn't really have any say in it. The brass can't force you to fight overseas, but America is still the home-front. Once everything was all said and done, Jane and Rosie and me just wanted out. We did our service, might as well take it easy. Wendy was our CO at the time and she wanted to keep fighting. So she convinced Kate and Diane to go with her to Britain.”
“It is their choice,” Johanna said.“The thing is, at first they were just like us. We were going to get some nice position at home and take it easy. Then Wendy had to go and start tossing her BULLSHIT around,” Scarlet slammed a fist down on the table, “and now look! Kate's missing a leg, Wendy's in a god damned coma and Diane is fuck knows where! All because of some god damn 'patriotism' shit. We don't give a flying fuck about the king, but nope! Can't just look after the Americans, got keep the Brits safe too! So we just agreed not to talk about it, since we just end up fighting whenever we do. Rosie blames herself, I blame Wendy and Jane just walks away whenever it comes up.”“I... I'm sorry,” Johanna mumbled, “I, too, have friends in Britain. Perhaps you have heard of Erica Hartmann or Gertrud Barkhorn?”Riley's eyes shot open as she went from mellow to excited in under a second. “A-aren't they like the top aces in the world? You KNOW them?”Johanna let out a soft giggle, causing Scarlet to turn ever so slightly red. “Yes, yes. We were good friends and fought together many times back duri- Yes. Good friends. I still get to talk to them occasionally.” “That's awesome! Do you think you could get me an autograph or something?”“Huhu, well I'll see what I can do. Ah! Scarlet!” Johanna thrust a finger up in the air, “I just remembered, Ayaka wanted to speak with you. I think she's still out fishing.”“Ayaka, Ayaka,” Scarlet pondered, “Oh! You mean Crowy! Alright, dunno what she'd want.”
Scarlet left the mess hall just as Riley unleashed a barrage of questions regarding famous aces, German or not. It took a good ten minutes to cross the airfield and another ten minutes to find the Japanese witch's footprints and follow them up the long sandbar reaching out the the mainland. At the very end, Ayaka sat staring pensively to the north, fishing pole dug in to the ground surrounded by numerous buckets of water and fish. Scarlet took a seat beside her and put on a similarly pensive look.After a few moments, Scarlet decided to break the silence.“Y'know. You're ass is gonna be all red and speckled when you get up.”Ayaka simply returned an acknowledging grunt.“Johanna said you were looking for me?”“Rosie would be fine too, but whatever,” Ayaka pointed out to sea, specifically at a boat headed into the harbour, “that boat. That's the ferry off the island, right?”“Yeah, that'll take you to Powell River, why?”“How often does it come?”“Twice in the morning, twice in the evening.”“Thought so. I've seen it cross a dozen times since I came out. Fully loaded.”“You mean they're sending people off the island?” Scarlet suddenly recalled what Rosie had said in the past weeks.“That's putting it lightly. It's an evacuation in a hurry, like what happened back home when the martians first came. That,” she gestured to the buckets around her, “and the fish are spooked. They're eating like it's their last meal.”“So what? You think the squids are coming?”“I'd be surprised if they weren't.”
>>19631572Pillow Fort**Addendum: Not to be constructed in Minna's office or anywhere near it. No, Minnafags, shut up.Ice cream raid.Potentially recruit Lucchini as special forces for ice cream raid.
“Great,” Scarlet laid back in the sand, throwing her hair out behind her, “now you. I've seen them. I've fought them. They just don't have the tech to hit us here. They can't hold cities and those heat rays aren't going to do much good in the forest. Besides, there ain't shit here.”“If you say so. This is your land, not mine.”“Hey, how do you speak English so well? Johanna spent two years here and German isn't that different, but what about you?”“Fair question.” Ayaka jabbed her fishing pole into the sand and reclined beside the other witch. “I've been testing strikers for almost a decade now. There were a lot of English-speaking designers, so naturally I picked it up along the way. I got started testing for old man Miyafuji and I loved it. Getting to play with the newest equipment, being able to push it to the limit. I got to try out equipment from all over the world. Like this suit.”“Yeah, I'd, uh, been meaning to ask why you were wearing a bikini with a potato sack over it.”Ayaka could barely contain her laughter. It took a few minutes before she managed to respond.“Ah yes,” she started, “the Kantou-i. The leggings are supposed to enhance magic flow. Same with the gloves. The rest? Damned if I know. Probably some magic stuffs. Sexy, huh?”“The guys must love a half-naked gal who carries a sword around.”“But of course! And,” Ayaka sat up and stared off toward the airfield, “looks like we got company.” Jane sped up to the pair of witches, spun the jeep around and sent sand flying in every direction. The vehicle had barely stopped moving when she hopped out and ran up to the witches.“Hey. We've got trouble.”
Scarlet sat in the hangar fiddling with the radio while the rest of the witches on base crowded around. “Rosie, it's Scarlet. What happened? Where are you?”The radio fizzled to life as the other witch's voice spoke. “We're sitting at Tofino right now. We spotted a number of flying transports heading for the mainland.”“What kind? How many escorts?”“Looks like stolen ships fitted with those thrusters. Like what they did with the Fitzgerald a few days ago. They aren't as big, but there's a bunch of them. They've got a few squadrons of those needle fighters and a group of the saucers. We can't handle them alone but they aren't moving fast. Take the rest of the girls and meet us here.”“Alright. Heading for Tofi- Hold on.” Scarlet turned to Riley, who was furiously poking her shoulder. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”“There's a thing!” Riley pointed over her shoulder, still poking Scarlet with the other hand.“A what now?”“There's a big crate! It has my name on it and a little bow on top! Like a present!”Sure enough, sitting in front of Riley's striker-stand, was a five foot long wooden crate. On top was a small note that read: 'To: Riley. Love: The Crew” with a little heart at the end.“Why the hell would they,” Scarlet shook her head and turned to the other witches, “some one want to go find a crowbar or someth-”CRRRRRACK. The group of witches simultaneously turned to Riley, who was in the process of ripping the top off of the crate with her bare hands. The tiny witch hurled the lid to the side, sending it clattering into a rack of tools. The gaggle of witches peered inside.
“That's a big gun,” Ayaka noted.“A REALLY big gun,” Jane added. A curled grey tail and a pair of similarly-coloured dog ears sprouted from Riley's head as she hefted the enormous contraption out of its container. The weapon was promised of four barrels, each just under five feet long, welded onto a cross-shaped support. The trigger was identical to what would be found on a bazooka, with duct-taped down wires leading into the miniscule shoulder rest, out of which extended another set of taped down wires that disappeared into the four barrels.“How in the fuck? WHY in the fuck?” Scarlet tried to say more, but her mouth moved without words.“Because we can, Red,” spoke a gravelly male voice, “because we can.”The scraggly-bearded, grease-covered man stepped out from behind a striker stand.“Pat,” Scarlet daintily pointed at the ramshackle contraption of death, “where did you get the parts for that. And the crate, for that matter.”“Well. We got the crate from the lumber depot in town. The tubes and whatnots from the scrap depot. The firing mechanism from Jane's old bazooka-”“You did what now.” Jane interrupted, perfectly monotone.“- and the rockets from the four-forty-fifth. Any more question?”Scarlet nodded, muttering something about the rockets. Riley bounded up to the grey-haired man, positively beaming with excitement. “What is it and how does it work and CAN I HAVE IT?”“Of course, little lady,” Pat the engineer ruffled the girl's hair, “We've taken to calling it the Autoharp. The bazooka got named after an instrument, so should our invention!”“That's a pretty lame name.” Scarlet interjected.
“You think of something better.” Pat paused as the witches all stared at each other. “That's what I thought. It's basically just a really big bazooka. You hold the trigger and the rockets fire. Except it fires three-inch rockets and we didn't have room for a counter-weight. Hence why it goes to Miss Bong here. Just make sure your back is to the sky when you fire it, or expect to get wet. Or splattered. You get a choice between armour-piercing or solid warheads, both twenty-five pounds each.”“Alright. Now explain WHY you made it.” Scarlet glared at the abomination of metal. The corner of a piece of duct-tape curled miserably.“Simply!” Pat shouted as stepped around and took a seat on the edge of the crate. “You heard about that thingwith the Fitzgerald, right? How they only took it down after some asshat crashed his plane into it? Well, we saw it and thought to ourselves, the coast patrols have anti-ship rockets and bombs, but our girls don't. The Commander kept grumbling about martians coming, so we whipped this thing together in a few days.”Ayaka stepped forward to examine the weapon that Riley cradled in her arms like a child. “Question. Have you ever fired it?”“Nope.”“Tested it?”“Nope!”“Right.” Ayaka mumbled, still staring at the device like a rabid animal.“Alright ladies. We've stared at the new toy for long enough,” Scarlet suddenly put on her authoritative voice, “time to get movie. Jane, go wake up Bobby. The rest of you, gear up.”The witches scrambled for their strikers while Jane ran off to fetch the last member of the 509th. Scarlet took a seat beside Pat and slapped a hand on his shoulder. “I gotta say Pat, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”“Glad my wife thought the same thing.”
And that's it. COMING UP NEXT: RAISIN BOAT CHARLESTON.
Alright, sorry for the delay. Remember, just a little more until I'm out of the boring shit and back to hunting enemies on the high seas.And without further ado, here's Prune Barge Shuffle, Session 8.
*December 17, 1942, tied Starboard To the Blackwall Steam Wharf, London*“This is bullshit!”“Stop whining.”“No! How come the Sparklies get to go ashore immediately when we're still stuck in quarantine?!”Mackintosh and Wright were catching a smoke beside one of the secondary guns, watching a river barge go by. At Wright's latest outburst, Mackintosh just sighs and holds up his fingers. “For one, hold your horses, cowboy. It's just a formality with us, we'll get cleared soon enough. Second, are YOU going to go to up to a witch and imply that she's a disease carrying plague rat to her face?”“What? No. Wha-”“Exactly. It's one of the witch perks. Customs doesn't have any right to hold you back.”“Still don't understand why Customs is stopping us as a fucking warship...”“It's just one of the formalities that we have to go through since we're docked in their capital. Don't worry about it too much, we'll be cleared before you know it.”As if on cue, the loudspeaker came to life. “Attention all hands, liberty has now been granted for all hands save the Duty Division. Those wishing to go ashore may now report to the quarterdeck. Message repeats. Attention all hands...”Mackintosh snuffed out his cigarette in his palm and flicked it over the side. “See? What'd I tell you. Lets go.”
After five minutes, the two of them had worked their way through the line to the seaman on duty signing them ashore.“Names?”“Lieutenant Mackintosh and Second Lieutenant Wright, going ashore.”The seaman looked up, and then back down in his book. “You know the code of conduct for officers ashore?”“Yes,” the two men said.“Have you been issued your sidearms?”The two of them slapped the holsters on their hips in unison.“Alright,” said the seaman at the deck log. “You two are cleared to go ashore. Enjoy your liberty.”After hopping down the gangway and walking off the wharf, the two men stopped to light new cigarettes. As Mackintosh went to light his, he paused as he got a better look at his companion's holster. “Wait. Is that a fucking Colt Single Action Army?”“Yep!” said Wright, grinning like a madman. With a deft hand he drew it from its holster, and began to admire it. “It's a family tradition, bearing this gun. My Great Grandpappy bought it in 1880 and immediately took it with him on a posse to chase down some train robbers. My Grandpaw took it with him when he stormed the beaches of Cuba, and my Daddy took it with him when he went over to France. It's my family's gun, and I'll wear it with pride when I go to fight with it!”
Mackintosh just shook his head. “It's still an ancient gun. That thing's a huge liability in a firefight, you know? I'm not even an infantryman and I can see that.”Wright continued to grin. “It may be my family's gun,” he said as he popped the speed-loading cylinder out to the side, “But I never said my family didn't progress with the times.”Mackintosh sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just put the damn thing away,” When he opened his eye again, he noticed the senior pilot of the ship's observation detachment walking by, and he called out “Hey Dick. Where are you headed off to?”The pilot stopped and turned to face the call. Upon seeing who it was, he smiled and started closing the distance between them. “Oh, just going to the shopping district. Gonna see about getting some fine English shoes for Pat,” he said with a grin.“Ha! And I'm going to assume my hard-earned money is going to be going to be paying for some of that?”“Oh, of course not,” laughed Nixon. “After I get the shoes, then I'm going to call up my wild Irish Gypsy on the Transatlantic Cable, and give those nosy operators something to listen to!”“Damn, isn't it real early in California right now? And won't that be expensive as fuck?”“That's where your hard-earned money comes in, Nick. And trust me,” the pilot grinned, “it doesn't matter what time of day it is, it's perfect timing when I call.”Mackintosh laughed. “Alright, Dick. I'll leave you to it. Enjoy your liberty.”
As the pilot walked off, Mackintosh went to try to light his cigarette again, but a port policeman caught his attention before he could.“Excuse me? Are either of you 'Lt. Mackintosh'? Ms. Adams left a message for him.”“Yeah, yeah. That's me.”“Thought so. There haven't been that many 'One-Eyed Bastards' coming this way, anyways.”Mackintosh just shook his head and sighed. “Well, what does she want?”“She says to meet her at the George's Cafe, about three blocks from here. She wants to discuss all of your “plans” for the night.”**After ten minutes of walking, the two men found themselves in front of a small sidewalk cafe with the smiling face of some rotund British man wearing a bowler hanging on a sign. Sitting underneath said sign were the two witches, sipping what appeared to be tea. A young man in a Royal Navy uniform was with them, and appeared to be sitting in a combination of utter shock and pure joy.“Good Evening, Apple,” said Mackintosh as he pulled up a chair and sat down. Who's the new guy?”“Oh? He's Edmund. Say hi, Edmund,”The British man snapped out of the catatonia brought on by sharing tea with two witches, and introduced himself. “Midshipman First Class Edmund Clarke, Royal Navy. Pleasure to meet you, gentlemen,”“Lieutenants Mackintosh and Wright. Likewise.”After a short pause while the waiter delivered two cups of water for the, he speaks up again. “You know, you seem nice, sir. I'm glad Florry is friends with you, and not that 'Old One-Eye' I've heard the older men talking about. You seem like a much less...crazy man than him.”
Mackintosh nearly choked on his water at that. After hacking for a few seconds, he managed to clear his throat...and level a death glare at the Brit. Breaking that, he turned again to Adams. “So, before we go on, why are we sitting outside when it's fucking winter?”“Because we like it out here!” declared Adams, as Lemare nodded her agreement. “It reminds us of how cold it is up above.”Mackintosh shook his head. “You're batshit, Apple.”“And you tore your own eye out because you thought it would get in your way. I think we're even, here.”As Clarke proceeded to try and clear the tea out of his own throat, Mackintosh took a sip of his water and nodded. “Fair point, there.”“Now that that's out of the way,” said Wright, speaking up. “What about these 'plans' you mentioned?” Adams clapped her hands together as she remembered. “Ah, right! Here!” she said as she smacked a flier down on the table. “A Glenn Miller show, here in London!”“Really? Damn...” said Mackintosh as he looked over it. “What are the odds that there would be one tonight?”“I don't know,” replied Wright, “but I'm not going to complain about it.”
“You can say that again,” said Mackintosh as he looked up, and swallowed. “Georgette, would you do me the pleasure of accompanying me this concert?”“I'd be honored,” Lemare replied graciously. “In fact, I've got some new dancing shoes I've been wanting to try out,” That she probably bought them that very day went unsaid.“Well, I hate to be the mood killer,” said Wright, speaking up, “But I'm kind of the odd man out here,” he said, gesturing to the empty space next to him. “No date.”Adams rubbed her chin. “That is a problem...say, a question. Which one of those fine ladies over there catches your fancy?”“Huh?” he asked as he swung his head around. “Uh, the raven-haired one I gu-”“HEY YOU! YES, YOU WITH THE RAVEN HAIR!” shouted Adams. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCOMPANY TWO WITCHES OUT TO A CONCERT ON THE ARM OF ONE OF HUMANITIES HEROES?!”As Wright began to sputter in shock, the woman's friends shoved her towards the cafe. Fortunately for himself, Wright managed to bring himself under control before the woman actually got there.“Well, hello to you, ma'am!” said Adams with a smile. “I'm Florence Adams. Pleasure to meet you.”“Christeem Fright, I-I mean, Christine Knight!” sputtered the woman. “You...you weren't joking were you? I'd didn't mishear you, right? Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm actually talking to some witches!”
Adams laughed. “No no, of course not! You see, there's a Glenn Miller show tonight-”“Tell me about it,” said Knight. “It's been sold out for weeks.”“Yes, it has,” smirked Adams. “Fortunately, being a witch has it's benefits.”Before Knight could get any more excited, Adams cut her off. “Now, here's the issue. My good friend Lt. Lawrence Wright here,” she gestured at the nervously smiling Marine, “Is without a lovely lady to accompany him to this show. Would you...?”Knight looked him up and down, before authoritatively saying “YES.”**After a short stop at a shoe shop, the group of six started making their way to the show in a London taxi All in all, it was looking to be a fun night. Wright was chatting up Knight excitedly, and Mackintosh and Lemare were doing their damnedest to ignore Clarke awkwardly hitting on Adams. Their mood took a downturn when they saw the Shore Patrol jeep parked outside the dance hall.
>>19631730Wait... we could meet Charlie Chaplin.
“Damn...it's not even dark yet,” whistled Mackintosh. “Somebody moved FAST.”“Wonder who?” replied Adams as she tried to extract herself from the packed rear seat.“Dunno, but he's a mor...fuck they're coming this way!”“WHAT?!”Before the two seamen could say anything, Mackintosh was out of the Taxi to meet them. “What's going on here? We haven't done anything tonight! What gives?”“Lt. Mackintosh, Lt. Adams, your liberty has been revoked and you've both been recalled to the California. Please come with us.”“WHAT?!” the two exclaimed in unison.“There has been a meeting of the senior officers called. Your presence is required onboard.”“What for?!” demanded Mackintosh.“The USS Tennessee was destroyed by Martian action at 1645 today in Hull, at the California's usual anchorage.”
Alright, that's all. Here's the pastebin, as always: http://pastebin.com/AQykVn8PQuestions, comments?
>>19631896Eh, seems pretty good.
>>19631905Probably the same reason Planefag writes:to get better.
>>19631896"Looks good"
>>19631905>Implying I haven't read all the SWQ universe stuff.Fool!But yes, it looks good, and I'm liking it.
>>19631959I've written SWQ things that will never be released.Are you jelly.
>>19631959
>>19631969I have written SWQUniverse things that will never make a part 9, are you jelly?
>>19631993But PanzerHow will you write if you have no....threads?
>>19632001FOOL! YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE A NO TREADS JOKE!
>>19632011Typo, sorry.
>>19631993SWQUniverseDoes it take place on a spaceship with too much drama?
>>19632107No, that's BSG
>>19631695And what, pray tell, does building a pillow fort in Minna's office have to do with Minnafaggotry? I always thought of it as a way to mess with her head. Is that not why we came to the castle, to troll witches?
>>19632136So to sum up, upon major deliberation and consideration...The only theory I have about the assassination/attack is that it's possible the Award Ceremony was targeted rather than MC; and the plan was to kill the Gala by way of killing MC for the purpose of sinking moral.And that's it... I'm gonna take off the tin foil now...
Scalpel and Hammer Chapter 2 will not be here today.That is all.
>>19632219Seems a little complex for the martians, who have an iffy idea of human social customs at best. But what human would want to kill us?
Seems like I missed something. Was there a chapter 79? How did we get Minna to not want to kill us? Also, Erica is Best Witch!
>>19632881Yes, check suptg. We apologized to Minna and she forgave us.
