It's a rainy day in Ashtown but that's done nothing to soil your high spirits as you walk with your grandfather to the local Pokecentre. At sixteen years old you're finally allowed to choose your first Pokemon. "It's a lot of responsibility" says Granpa as the automatic doors to the pokecentre slide open. You kick the mud off your boots and walk up to the counter where a young woman sits behind the counter. >Name>Gender
>>19648381>Green>Female
The fuck did we have to wait till we were 16 for? Bitches be picking their pokemon when they're like fucking seven.Usually some wack-ass poisonous bee or monkey that is on fire that is super dangerous for a kid to have too.
>>19648387No, we're not going to subscribe to traditional genders, bigot.
>>19648381BlueMale
>>19648395>Blue>Wizard>Needs food
>>19648395Okay then, a girl stuck in a man's mind who's imprisoned in a woman's body.Happy?
>>19648381>Alex>trans
>>19648381>Doesn't have Prof. Oak asking our name and gender2/10
>>19648390It is written! Only characters of adult age can be player characters.
>Jace>Male consciousness in a android body originally constructed by Team Rocket
Off to a great start, guys.
>Chris>Unclear sex
>>19648412Bet we are one of Prof. Oaks grandchildren
>>19648414Red is adult? Name is Gold and male
>This thread
>>19648414Nah man our parents are some ultra-conservative coddling fucks who kept us getting a pokemon when all the other kids had one.Everyone is goofing off and going to pokemon school and we're stuck in normal school with the ultra-nerdy kids learning fucking math instead of how to treat freeze status effects.I fucking hate our parents for not giving us a pokemon at the appropriate age, and waiting this long.
>>19648431I know, they wouldn't even let us express our trans male side.
>Blue>Male
OP, just take the real non retarded options and roll to see which wins so you can get this on the road.
> Teal> Color
Blue is most popular name, Male is most popular gender.If you have fucked off because people subverted/questioned your quest premise OP, you are not cut out to run quests on /tg/.
I really, really love how OP's greatest hindrance to making a quest thread was trollposts, and then he's just bombarded by them.Then again, this is /tg/
>>19648465Where did he say that? Also seriously it is weird to get a pokemon this late, and someone can legitimately suggest a trans character.That is like, the kind of thing you are going to get on /tg/.
>>19648475He said it in the thread where he pitched the idea.Didn't you know? /tg/ is an internet forum now, not an imageboard.
Olav OlavssonMale
CyanFemale
>>19648486>He said it in the thread where he pitched the idea.I wasn't even aware of that.
>>19648490You know what, fuck you all. I'm going with this one. Nords or nothing.
Y'all niggas can get bent.I'm leaving this shit. Fucking crazy ass trolls and whatnot bitching about everything.I'm taking my setting with me too.
>>196485130/10, try harder
>>19648513opop noplease we can work this outbaby please
"My little Alex is here to pick up her first pokemon" says Grandpa, putting a hand on your shoulder as you both smile excitedly. "This way" says the receptionist as she leads you down a corridor and into a large room. Hundreds of minute pokeballs line the shelves. The receptionist directs you to a desk where both you and grandpa sit. "Professor Shell will be with in a moment" she says as he returns back to her duties. After a short wait a small little man with big black glasses comes shuffling in. "Hello!" he says, shaking you and Grandpa's hand as he takes a seat before you. "Sixteen? My what an exciting time to be young. Of course you are well aware that the age requirement demonstrates the maturity which comes with accommodating a pokemo into your life. They are wonderful creatures but like their owners they can be dangerous too."You look to Grandpa who nods in agreement. You wonder if you'll get a pokemon like his Quilava, like Grandpa it has always been kind to you and been patient with you, even when you were little it would sit and put up with you tugging it's tale and ears. (cont)
>>19648532>a small little man with big black glassesProfessor Shell sounds pretty gangster.
>>19648532>>19648540Yes...Gangster...Proceed.
What's the age of consent in this pokemon region that has introduced age-based legislation for owning pokemon?Because before we bomb the Diet with a Koffing I think we should hit on Professor Shell, assuming it's all above board.
>>19648532>>19648532Professor Shell presses a button beneath his desk, with a hiss the centre of the table opens up. Roll 3d151 - You dig?
rolled 24, 8, 68 = 100>>19648561Triple magikarp.
>>19648540>>19648547So I suppose Professor Shell is probably actually a mob boss and the secret BBEG.
>>19648561No rolling, I want a pikachu.
rolled 84, 41, 145 = 270rollan
rolled 46, 31, 47 = 124c'mon Litwick
>>19648577Chandelure is seriously the best pokemon.
>>19648577>>Jynxgoddamnit
>>19648561dice+3d151gimme that ghastly
rolled 70, 86, 84 = 240>>19648703oops
rolled 43, 40, 34 = 117
rolled 15, 68, 35 = 118>>19648561>having an evolved starterSHYYGAHIGIHINABOP DU WOP
>>19648792That's Jigglypuff, Porygon, Farfetch'd.http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/List_of_Pok%C3%A9mon_by_evolution_family#Kanto-based_evolution_families
>>19648792>not having Mewtwo as your starter
rolled 4, 27, 83 = 114OP still here?
>>19648815That would be rolling a 77. Incidentally, gamesharking a Mew starter causes the text engine to shit itself for the rest of the game.
POST IMAGES OF REALISTIC POKEMON, THIS IS AN IMAGEBOARD GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, STOP TALKING AND START POSTING
>>19648906It's a quest thread.
OP, it's been over a fucking hour, and all we know is, we're named Alex.We don't even know our own goddamned gender.'sup widdyou
>>19649107maybe he really did leave in a hissyfit, anyone up for taking over?also fairly certain we're a girl
rolled 5 = 5Rolling a 1d7 because of the seven rolls for the 3 starter pokemons.
>>19648979this is a imageboard
>>19649252With this its stated that >>19648779Is the pokemons we have to choose from:>Oddish>Wigglytuff>Nidoking
>>19649279anyone who doesn't say Nidoking is mad, that being said I much perfer Vileplume so I say oddish
>>19649279Suddenly Professor Shell starts yelling at the receptionist about having two fully evolved pokemons for a starter for the new trainer. He quickly hands you the pokeball containing Oddish and tells you to come by if your new friend dies.. faints. Roll a 1d3 to decide what gender your new friend is and also state his/her/its name. > This Oddish can right now only use Absorb, an attack that those minimum damage and also restores some of its own health(does anyone still want this quest to live?)
rolled 3 = 3>>19649560Let's go absorb some ratatas and leave their lifeless husks in our wake.
rolled 1 = 1>>196495601d3? Male/female/hermaphroditic?
>>19649560Yes
>>19649572First roll counts, herm it is
rolled 3 = 3forgot dice
>>19649585Well yes, as we all have in this thread noticed, gender can have a big difference with people. >>19649572Congratulations! Its a abomination of the world!
>>19649622can we call him/her Clyde?
As you start to walk out of the facility, a childhood friend of yours tackles you and demands a pokemon battle!> Accept> Decline
>>19649647let's do this shit
>>19649647Accept! We shall our abonimation will suck life of his pokemon
>>19649674You accept the battle and get right into Battle Mode with your Oddish (Clyde) and send him out from the pokeball! Your enemy sends out a Caterpie to the match and awaits your first move.Commands :> Absorb > FleeHP: 50(roll d20 for success on attack)
Accept
rolled 15 = 15>>19649743c'mon awesome
>>19649622>abominationShi's a fucking flower. Hermaphroditism is NORMAL for plants.
Absorb
>>19649743Absorb.I want to see where this goes.
rolled 2 = 2>>19649754> 15Clyde goes for the killing strike as he starts to suck out Caterpies HP, taking a big chunk of his HP. HP 35> Caterpie uses Tackle(our HP is also 50, so this roll is for how much it hurts us)
rolled 14 = 14>>19649819we've got this in the bag, tackle again Clyde
>Damage = ((((2 * Level / 5 + 2) * AttackStat * AttackPower / DefenseStat) / 50) + 2) * STAB * Weakness/Resistance * RandomNumber / 100>RandomNumber is simply a Random Number between 85 and 100.
rolled 19 = 19>>19649763>>19649806Always roll d20 when stating an attack in battle, otherwise I will roll for you guys like this
>>19649835err, I meant absorb
rolled 10 = 10>>19649835> AbsorbClyde hit is on the mark and takes another chunk of Caterpie.HP 21>>19649846Caterpie uses Tackle He hits Clyde with all his rages> damage of 19(Our HP is now 29)
rolled 9 = 9>>19649902Absorb again.
>>19649915With this attack lowering Caterpies HP to 12 your opponent gives up. Your Oddish has gained more power, 1d20+1 , and earned yourself 20$. This is the end of this pokemon quest thread, as you all know, battles are quite long if not too much for to be tried in /tg/.I bid my farewell to you all in hope for a better OP.
( OP if you are there, please delete this thread using a quick [X] and Delete,these quest will never work because they require a lot of thought about how the battles are supposed to be, and also, you are a faggot for making me show you a faulty gaming system on a subject I like)
>>19649969> mfw OP made no mention of any battle systemYou went full retard, ya know ?
>>19650217> mfw I have no face... bad reading comprehension. I shall kill myself, now.
>No characters/pokemon named DICK yet, or any variation thereofI'm out.
>>19649969Clyde has thrashed the FUCK out of your opponent's piddly caterpie. You bet he didn't even name the stupid thing. Clyde is now level 6! Hell yeah!By the way, other OP was wrong, all Clyde fucking knows is Absorb and Sweet Scent. So heck yeah, it's rampaging time. What the piss do you wanna do know? You're drunk on the potential here. Third post after this decides.
>>19650272Genuflect
>>19650272Third post? You're awfully optimistic.
>>19650272Rape the maids.
>>19650310You run as fast as your feet can carry you over to the nearby cafe, to locate some maids, with your power, you could do anything! You find the maids working in there, and begin your assault! GO CLYDE!You clout one of the maids in the head with the pokeball, she goes down as Clyde pops out, but there's still three other maids left over. The other guests scatter out of the cafe through the nearest exit. It's just you and Clyde versus three maids. How do you attack?
rolled 9 = 9>>19650333sweet scentYou catch more honies with honey than with life-sucking spores of death
>>19650333SPORES
>>19650333Sweet scent up in this bitch.
>>19650351(I forget, are we male or female? Or does it matter?)CLYDE! Use SWEET SCENT!Clyde says "Odddissssh!" And an aromatic purple cloud is sprayed in the maids direction. One of them gets caught in it. Her eyes glaze over, she bends over and begins fawning over clyde. The other two are still up however.One runs toward the back, trying to escape, the other uses TOWEL WHIP! on you. It stings a lot. Your defense has been lowered. Your moves: PUNCH.KICK.What do you do?
>>19650378Third option, GRAPPLE!
rolled 4 = 4>>19648404Apparently we are trans, but doesn't say whether MtF or FtMRolling 1d4m/f/MtF/FtM
>>19650382Good idea! That's added to the moveset. You don't get to do anything though. Third post wins.
>>19650378KICK THE ONE TRYING TO ESCAPE
>>19650393Better: FLYING KICK the one trying to escape
>>19650378How can we punch if we have no arms, on a more related not DROP KICK THAT WHORE
>>19650393You dodge past the one with the towel to try and kick down the one escaping. Your flying jump-kick connects with her back and she goes down! Her head connects with a counter and you hear a CRACK! as she crumples to the floor. It's just you and Towel Maid now. You and Clyde have her in a pincer attack! What do you do?
>>19650411PINCER GOES CHOPSWEET SCENT GOES WHOPPENIS GOES POPor well, if we have a penis
>>19650411Grapple, if you know what I mean.
GAY
>>19650411HEADBUTT
>>19650428You decide suddenly that you are homosexual. I'm still not sure what gender we are, but in the interests of keeping the plot choices running, you have now been made FEMALE. So raping the maids is still on the list. Continue! PIncer attack! Choices! Make them!
If you don't feel my flow, I will steal yo ho, after I steal yo ho, I will kill yo ho. Raise her from the dead, count up all my bread, after I am fed, I'll make that ho re-dead.
>>19650441I feel we need to clock here in the face
>>19650441Falcon Punch to the stomach.
>>19650441stomach punch
>>19650496Her attention turns to Clyde for a split second, but that's all you needed, you wind up your punch: FALCON!She turns back to you just in time for you glorious flaming fist to streak toward her gut.PUNCH!Towel Maid vomits as you power your girlish fish in her stomach, propelling her backward into the other maid fawning over Clyde.The two go down in a smoldering heap of purple scented maidness.Surveying the destruction you have wrought, you decide the only good maid left to rape is the one not covered in blood, sap, or vomit. You pull the maid you knocked out with your pokeball away from the wreckage, tell Clyde to keep a lookout for the police or anyone, and proceed to graphically rape the poor, defenseless unconscious maid.You are female, so in your mind's eye, remember that. You monsters.After only ten minutes of female on female rape. Clyde yells out, "Oddiiiish! You look out the window and see a large group of those creepy officer Jenny's pulling up. They toss out a bunch of enforcer pokemon. A Golem Golbat, and two Alakazam. How do you escape?
>>19650567Fish? I meant fist. Good heavens, that's a hilarious image.
>>19650567Two Alakazam? Fuck.Head upstairs, and break across the rooftops away from the law.Pick up some kind of weapon from the cafe.
>>19650567Escape? Who said anything about escape? We have a hostage. We'll let the girl go if one of the Jennys gets down on her knees and services us. If they try to bring us in, well then the girl dies.
Jesus fuck /tg/, what the hell?Jump out the window and tackle the alakazams.
>this thread
>>19650567Steal on of there bikes a wheelie out in style
>>19650598Those pokemon will shut up down easily, we need to escape.We might have a chance 2-on-1 with the Golbat, but the other three will just destroy us.So go high, go fast. Steal a vehicle if possible.
>>19650611>upUs. Us.
>>19650581>If they try to bring us in, well then the girl dies.We have an Oddish.They have two Alakazams.
>>19650627Strangulation bro.
>>19650633Alakazams are telekinetic, and can possibly teleport. No.
>>19650633Two.Alakazams.As in "You're on the way to the madhouse before you lay a finger on her."Also, WTF OP? they usually only have Growlithes and Arcanines.
>>19650649This is obviously, like, the heavy crew. The SWAT Jennies.
>>19650598You decide: Fuck running. I have a pokemon now! I can take on the WORLD! And I WILL!You climb up to the second floor window, grab a chair, toss it ahead of you through the window, and leap out at the two Alakazam's, foolishly grouped together, you soar through the air toward, them. You realize as you feel the cold air on your skin, you forgot to put your clothes back on. Except your hat. Can't forget your hat. You have that. The Alakazam's are caught off guard by this, thankfully, and you PILE DRIVE them to the ground. Clyde hustles out after you yelling: "Oooooddish!" A Weavile had snuck in the back and is chasing him. Oh yeah, YOU GAIN A LEVEL! Your moves: PUNCHKICKGRAPPLEPILE DRIVEClyde gains several levels!Clyde's moes: AbsorbSweet ScentAcidPoison PowderGolem in frontGolbat in the airWeavile behind.What do you do?Oh yeah, what does your hat look like? It needs to be awesome, so think carefully.
>>19650652>SWAT Jenniesall of my whybonerWe need art of a Jenny as a Judge.
>>19650657I am not liking this OP, I feel criminal on the run quest is more of an interesting derail than 'YOU FUCK EVERYTHING FOREVER YEAH'.
>>19650657BITE the Alakazams in the FACE.Clyde use ACID on the WEEVILAlso, pirate hat. With gigantic feathers.
>>19650663I actually had that as the basis of a world some players visited in a Dark Heresy world once. Fulla Arbites and Hereteks. Took them nearly three sessions there to catch on that each arbite was a Jenny.Polite sage for not contributing to thread.
>>19650657It's a 17th century nobleman's hat. With the pokemon symbol on it.Anyway.ACID on GOLEMGRAPPLE on WEAVILEPILE DRIVE WEAVILE into ACID-weakened GOLEMJust like... avoid the Golbat kthanx.
Are we restricted to only the original 151, because if we aren't we need to get a Scraggy as soon as possible.
>>19650677You do not know how to BITE. You will have to unlearn another move to learn that one. If you would like to delete another move, choose one: PUNCH, KICK, GRAPPLE, PILE DRIVEYou stand there stupidly as the Golem uses DIG. He creates a pitfall underneath you and the Alakazams, he rescues the Alakazams, taking them to safety, and leaves you floundering nakedly in a pile of road rubble. You take mild ouchy damage.Clyde turns around, bravely facing off against the Weavile, he sprays caustic liquid in its direction. It hits! The Weavile skin starts to bubble and hiss where it hit him, the weavile stops to roll around in the dirt for a second, desperately trying to remove the acid. Clyde takes that opportunity to run over to you, yelling: "Oddish odd!"The officers are yelling orders at the pokemon, trying to regroup.The Golbat hears Clyde, and has started to use FLY on him! He's streaking downward, what do you do?Good hat choice, by the way.
>>19650727Grab Clyde. Grab the Golbat. Catch a lift to escape.
>>19650727Flying KICK the GOLBATClyde use ACID on the JENNIES
>>19650738No, don't melt the Jennies. Police are the logical next step from maids.
>>19650727Flash out naughty bitz at the golbat to confuses/disorient it.
>>19650727flash our tits
>>19650747You decide not to melt the Jennies. Although maybe strategically placed, it would melt just the clothes. But you forego that course for the moment. What do you do?Remember, third post after mine decides the action. So think before you post.
>>19650758What's the age of criminal responsibility here?
Rape the Golbat.Rape it hard.
>>19650758Shout "HOW BIG ARE DEM TITTIES?!" at the Jennies.
Escape on the Golbat.
>>19650769This.I want revenge for all of those caves. Rip it open afterwards.
>>19650773Since children at the age of ten are given world destroying power, I'd say there isn't one, everyone is always responsible.>>19650765You shout: "HOW BIG ARE DEM TITTIES!" at the Jennies.The Jennies are confused.They hurt themselves in their confusion.The Golbat uses FLY on Clyde.It's Super Effective!Clyde has fainted.Your poor new little friend who so valiantly assisted and defended you has been hurt! The Weavile has gotten the acid off him, and been left with a large scarring mark on his left side and arm, but he's focused on you now. Same with the Golbat, and the Golem, having rescued the Alakazam, is digging back your way. What do you do?
>>19650795>They hurt themselves in their confusion.Wait, aren't we naked?SEDUCE THE POKEMANS.
>>19650795Grab Clyde and get the fuck out of dodge, preferably by jumping down the hole golem dug.
>>19650795Roll to seduce. Grab Clyde after.
>>19650795Grab Clyde and RUN LIKE A NIGGA WITH A TV!
The Jennies are confused.They cannot block our balls.Throw a pokeball at the Golem.
>>19650831Shit, throw a pokeball at the Jennies.
>>19650819We don't "roll" round these parts stranger.You want to learn ATTRACT, but you already know four moves. You can forget a move to learn ATTRACT. Choose one: PUNCH, KICK, GRAPPLE, PILE DRIVE.You pick up Clyde however, you have only seconds before three angry law enforcement Pokemon are upon you, what do you do?
>>19650840Punch.
>>19650840Try to forget GRAPPLE, but have second thoughts.Learn GRATTRACT.
>>19650840Throw pokeballs at all of themBecause why not(including Jennies)
>>19650840run, then hijack a car or something
>>19650852You mean MOLEST?
>>19650840Forget Punch, shove Clyde up our vagoo, start running.
>>19650870Sure, I don't know the intricate details.
>>19650840Steal a little girl's hoverboard.Make good our escape to Huey Lewis And The News.
>>19650854You pull some extra pokeballs you keep in your AMAZING HAT, out, and chuck them quickly at all three pokemon, and one at the Jennies for good measure. All four are sucked in. You mentally press B+left and wait. First Golem and Golbat break out, being unharmed and without any status effects. Weavile comes out shortly thereafter. The jennies are collectively confused, and you hear a soft *click* on their pokeball.The law enforcement pokemon, without any direction, stop, and are confused.You got a new pokemon: GAGGLE OF JENNIESDo you wish to give your GAGGLE OF JENNIES a nickname?And what do you do now?
>>19650899We call the GAGGLE OF JENNIES:"Gurgles"Also, we throw the pokeballs at the now confused pokemon. They have status effects now!
>>19650899Well, we've captured their owners right? Nothing to fear. Rename GAGGLE OF JENNIES to LESBIAN HAREM.
>>19650911>Rename GAGGLE OF JENNIES to LESBIAN HAREM.Little blunt, dontcha think?
After we get out, get some hardware
>>19650899Name them "Sex Slaves" and RUN
>>19650899Isn't it obvious?We punch the pokemon for all their levels.
>>19650926Oh yeah, do this. Revive Clyde with some gear from the Jennies and then beat all their pokemon up to level up.
>>19650920I shall ignore the fact that it is greentext! Huzzah! It is blunt, but GAGGLE OF JENNIES is now called LESBIAN HAREM.LESBIAN HAREM's moves: GIVE ORDERS.RIDE MOTORCYCLE.WEAR UNIFORMBE USELESS.The officers pokemon have now settled down to wait for further orders. You are free to do as you wish. What do you do?
>>19650947Get out of town for now.Don't want to deal with any more of this shit.
>learning attractAttract does not work if the target is not the opposite sex of the user.Pokémon is heteronormative?!
>>19650947Fuck the police.Forge makeshift loincloth from their uniforms. Wield TRUNCHEON.Revive CLYDE.
>>19650947Choose Lesbian Harem.At least one of their former pokemons has to be a male.WE SHALL DO SCIENCE. LET THE HYBRIDIZATION BEGIN.
First, have them turn their pokémon over to you. Gifts change the "owner" to the new one, thus resulting in you having no problems telling your mons what to do (see: Lapras)Teach LESBIAN HAREMATTRACT, LICK and LOVELY KISS.Replace everything but RIDE MOTORCYCLES.
>>19650960We're a 16-year old girl, yannow.
>>19650947I think we need to make the "forget' wear uniform
>>19650976
>>19650988No. We're a gangster, just like our hero Professor Shell.
>>19650960Do you mean that literally?I will assume not for now. You collect your new pokeball and pick up Clyde. You rummage through their cars for clothing. There is a full uniform here. You wear it haphazardly because, y'know, Fuck da police. Do you wish to trade out your AWESOME HAT, for a SNAZZY POLICEGIRL HAT?Also, you will need to forget a move to learn TRUNCHEON.Choose which move to forget: PUNCHKICKGRAPPLEPILE DRIVE.And now what do you do?
>>19650994If it's a move, it means they start naked when we summon them.We can make them forget it and learn LOVELY KISS.
>>19651001>Implying 16-year-old girls can't be pimps>>19651004forget PUNCH for TRUNCHEON
>>19651004>I will assume not for nowOf course I mean literally.Forget PUNCH for TRUNCHEON. Or fuse them together and learn PUNCHEON.Get Clyde back on his feat, and then beat up the other pokemon for levels.
>>19651001
>>19651004>Do you wish to trade out your AWESOME HAT, for a SNAZZY POLICEGIRL HAT?N.
>>19651024Alas.Alright, you LITERALLY fuck the police.You summon your LESBIAN HAREM, and proceed to abuse them. Sexually. They cannot do anything about it because they are mere possessions now. You monster.After you are done, you decide to simply wield the TRUNCHEON when you use PUNCH. You have learned PUNCHEON.You find several items in the Jennies cars, including ten potions, five revives, 1 rare candy, and three ultra balls. You use one of the revives and one of the potions getting Clyde back on his feet.Afterward, you decide to beat up the defenseless, directionless law pokemon, they do not fight back, they are without a leader, it's rather sad, looking into their eyes, without direction in their lives while you have cruelly stolen their owner from them, leaving them adrift in a sea of existential problems.But you and Clyde gain several levels! Clyde has reached level 21! He wants to learn STUN SPORESLEEP POWDER, and MEGA DRAIN, do you want to forget any moves to learn those:Clyde's Moves: ABSORB, SWEET SCENT, ACID POISON POWDERWhat's this? Clyde is also evolving? Do you press B? And what do you do now?
>>19651107No, that bitch evolves like the motherfucking progress of man.Mega Drain instead of Absorb.Sleep Powder instead of Sweet Scent.Stun Spore instead of Acid.
>>19651107FORGET POISON POWDER FOR MEGA DRAINFORGET ABSORB FOR MEGA DRAINSleep powder is like sweet scent except better... it's the perfect rape drugFORGET ACIDGET SLEEP POWDER(also, let Clyde evolve)NOW, We uh, we need to get mo' bitches. Mo' hos equal mo' dough. Simples, y'see?
>>19651107Clyde needs to evolve and later become a Bellossom.
>>19651137wait, I meant forget poison powder for stun spore.Shit
Overcome by grief, we kill ourself.
>>19651181No.We are a pimp.And pimps do not commit suicide.
>>19651137Alright, Clyde will evolve, Clyde evolves into: GLOOM! Doo dee doo!>>19651145I will use this post and your previous one to continue.>>19651139Clyde's new moves:MEGA DRAINSWEET SCENTSLEEP POWDERSTUN SPOREYou decide, with your jaunty Police girl outfit, and your AWESOME HAT, packing your pocket date rape monster, you need to find mo' bitches.Ashtown is a podunk place anyway. You stopped the entire police force all on your own. You want to be Professor Shell when you fucking grow up.Nearby towns: Greenville, Blueburg. Where do you want to start your hunt? And how do you want to get there?
>>19651210Which one has the hot female gym leader?
rolled 2 = 2>>19651210>Teach LESBIAN HAREMATTRACT, LICK and LOVELY KISS.Replace everything but RIDE MOTORCYCLES.Then use their RIDE MOTORCYCLES to convey you to...1=greenville2=bluetown
>>19651210MO' BITCHESFirst, we swing by Shell's office and tell him that we will one day surpass him, following his example.Then we head to where the bitches is hottest.MAKE IT SO, NUMBER ONE!
>>19651210BLueburg, take on of the motobikes
>>19651210Travel to Blueburg by motorbike.
>>19651232You do not know RIDE MOTORCYCLE, so you walk over to Shell's office. He's sitting at his desk, feet up on it, smoking a very large cigar. He is wearing AMAZING PIMP HAT.You catch his eye, and he knows exactly what you mean. No words are exchanged, but you both nod, tip hats, and you walk back out the door.You haven't ever left your hometown in your life before, you pathetic waste of space, so you don't know where the bitches be hottest. So you toss a coin. It comes up: >>19651231 So you do not teach your LESBIAN HAREM anything, sorry, but you do get them to use RIDE MOTORCYCLE, and convey you to Blueburg. You arrive in Blueburg in a VERY Short amount of time. Man, it must take forever to walk anywhere. Pokemon were EVERYWHERE in the tall grass. Motorcycles made quick work of them thankfully.You look around. The town is still pretty small, not many hot bitches anywhere, you do see a POKEMON CENTER, an OLD MAN, and the POKEMON GYM. It has a symbol that looks kind of like water on it. What do you do?
Dominate the gym with your grass-type.First in battle, then in REAL LIFE.Also we need to get a tentacool and tangela.
>>19651299Water Gym, huh?Swimmer bitches is the best bitches.Make the most badass entrance we can make by slamming open the doors
>>19651299catch a mistie or whoever is gym leader.Buy a strap-on and fuck her.
>>19651337
MIIIIIIIIIISTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY HERE WE COMEforce the LESBIAN HAREM to arrest the gym leader and knick the pokemon.bring to pokemon centre basement where we will be waiting having healed ourselves(somehow) and CLYDE via NURSE JOY
>>19651348>healed ourselves(somehow) Ever played a Zelda game?You know how the fairy heals link, right?
>>19651337You decide you'll get right to acquiring whoever the gym leader is. You REALLY hope it's a female. First, however, you stop by the pokemon center and see if they have any shops, they do not, so you cannot buy STRAP-ON in this town. You make your way over to the gym, you KICK down the doors and stride in, looking for whoever might be the gym leader. You see her, at the far end of a MASSIVE wave pool, sitting in a lifeguard chair. You attempt to chuck a pokeball all the way across the pool, but it's far too large, she looks up briefly at you, then looks back down at her PRETTY NAILS. There's no walkway on the outside edge. There are a few people swimming back and forth in the pool, who you're presumably supposed to fight on your way to her. You're not sure you want to do that. How do you go about acquiring yonder woman?
>>19651386BEAT EVERYONE ON THE WAY TO HER THENPUNCHEON PUNCHEON PUNCHEON
>>19651386throw an ultra ball at her
>>19651386We shout at her, making sure she hears us:"I tells ya what. I likes ya, and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.The choice is yours."
>>19651386Rip off cloths, jump in full nude and book it towards her.
BEGIN THE BEATDOWNWalk right at her. If some punk-ass trick tries to step up, BITCHSLAP them with the PUNCHEON.
>>19651386order CLYDE to stand behind you and discreetly start pumping out STUN SPORESwith any luck all the swimmers will drown and the gym leader will be paralyzed while we bang her in the face with truncheon then carry her out into the forest
>>19651444You yell as loudly as you can across the pool: "I tells ya what. I likes ya, and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.The choice is yours."You're not quite sure she heard you, but you gather she did. She doesn't say anything, but she stands up, pulls a pokeball from a bag attached to the lifeguard chair, and she tosses it idly into the pool. As it falls, everyone in the pool sees it coming and races for the nearest exit, when it hits the water, you see a tiny splash... then a huge wave as the pokemon is released, unfortunately, you didn't see what pokemon it was, and now all you see is a dark shape swimming deep, deep, down in the pool. She yells back at you: "You want me? Come and get me." and she dives into the pool to disappear under the surface. What do you do?
Dive in and get TENTACLE RAPEDuse Clyde to help with SWEET SCENT on the people and totally fuck over the water-types with its grass movesuse our new ALAKAZAMs to HYPNOTIZE and convert all of the pool occupants to our cause
>>19651516STUN SPORE fucking EVERYWHEREparalyze it when it comes up for air and drown itassuming that pokemon needs to breathe
>This thread>the fuck?Find valve, drain pool.
>>19651516Remove clothes, bring out Clyde
>>19651516put stun spores in the water.
>>19651563
>>19651563You do not know SWIM, but you figure you might be able to drain the pool, You leave your AWESOME HAT on the side, and tell Clyde to wait there for you, but you keep your snazzy policegirl outfit on in case you need your LESBIAN HAREM. You take a deep breath, jump in, and sink like a stone.Fortunately for you, you are in the shallow end. Unfortunately, the shallow end of this pool is still ten feet deep. You open your eyes in time to see a FUCKING SHARPEDO making a beeline... scratch that, a SHARKLINE for you, with the gym leader holding onto his fin.SHARPEDO uses AQUA JETYou take a Sharpedo full in the front, you hear a rib or two crack as you are rammed full force in the chest, all the air is expelled from your lungs, and you gulp in a huge lungful of water, you are forced up and out of the pool, and launched almost completely out the door.You take a huge amount of ouchy.You lie there, coughing up water and gasping for air. Clyde says: "Gloom."Bad idea.What do you do?
>>19651643"Thanks for the help CLYDE. Get your rank ass over and use Giga Drain on the pool/shark.And try not to kill misty while doing so."
>>19651643put stun spores in the water.
>>19651643WIN
>>19651643Fuck. We can't die here! And a pokemon just attacked a human- we need to let LESBIAN HAREM put that Sharpedo down!
>>19651643STUN SPOREs in the water.NOW.
>>19651643Also what was i Thinking? That there'd be a giant plug at the bottom of the pool? No, there's got to be a pool equipment room or shed that'd have the piping and pumpworks so i could drain it.
Go and find the actual valve. Since valves aren't inside the pool. That would be stupid.
>>19651664
>>19651664I am going to ignore this. And use this instead:>>19651666You cough and stand back up. Your WET POLICEGIRL UNIFORM clinging nicely.You put back on your AWESOME HAT, pull out your pokeball and yell: "GO LESBIAN HAREM!"You toss the pokeball in the water, and watch as your LESBIAN HAREM pops out and begins to tread water nicely. You're not sure they can SWIM, but they won't drown like you. Comes from the law enforcement training. Lesbian Harem's moves:GIVE ORDERSRIDE MOTORCYCLEWEAR UNIFORMBE USELESSWhat do you do?
>>19651703Give Orders
>>19651703RIDE MOTORCYCLE all the way to the VALVE, which we turn to the LEFT.
>>19651703We go find the actual valve in the maintenance room
>>19651718You have no idea where the maintenance room is, but you leave LESBIAN HAREM to deal with the SHARPEDO and look around for a maintenance shed or something. You decide to follow all the swimmers to wherever they went, you have located CHANGING ROOMS. You note that for future reference. You pass those and find the maintenance room. It is locked. What do you do now?
>>19651743PUNCHEON the door off it's hinges
Truncheon the doorknob off!Pile Drive The Door!
PUNCHEON that door down.Nothing can stop us from poisoning the water now! Although we might want to get LESBIAN HAREM out of there.
>>19651760You use PUNCHEON on the door. The door is perfectly fine, but the lock was incredibly shitty. The bolt splinters the door jamb, and the door is now ajar. You open it and have full access to the workings of the pool. You open the drain as far as it will go, and head back out to the pool. You see that LESBIAN HAREM has been severely mauled in your absence. Since you were not there to give orders, they sat there treading water whilst SHARPEDO CRUNCHed the lot of them. The water is red with blood. LESBIAN HAREM has fainted. The water is draining very slowly, and has not made a sizable change in the amount of water in the massive pool. What do you do?
>>19651795Uh, CLYDE, USE STUN SPORE
>>19651795Wait.We have all the time in the world.
STUN SPORE THE WATER! also return Lesbian Harem!
>>19651795Withdraw LESBIAN HAREM, and continue to drain the pool.
Learn Cute Charm as our Ability.Not a move, our Ability.
Call back lesbian harem. Wait for the water to drai and avoid harm. Get Clyde on standby and ready put everything to sleep.
>>19651795bellydance hope it distracts them from the draining water
>>19651819You yell to Clyde: "Use STUN SPORE on the water Clyde!"And you also return LESBIAN HAREM to the pokeball. The blood remains in the water, fortunately, all the pieces of LESBIAN HAREM were collected. They should be fine when you get to a pokemon center.Clyde fires a huge cloud of seeds over the pool, the surface of the water is covered in them. It might take a little bit of time, but the Gym leader will need air eventually. You wait for a bit, watching to see if she surfaces. Eventually she does, her head breaking the surface just barely, and she inhales a cloud of the spores as she does, Gym Leader is Paralyzed! She may be unable to attack! Gym Leader is Paralyzed! She can't move! She loses her grip on Sharpedo, who is in a massive frenzy with all the blood in the water, she starts to sink, and you see her Sharpedo swim around confused for a minute, then it's fin starts heading back in her direction, diving beneath the water. That doesn't look good... What do you do?
>>19651861Dive into the water to save her.Stockholm Syndrome here we come!
>>19651861Hurl CLYDE like a life preserver"Use Giga Drain on Sharpedo! Also save misty if you're inclined.
>>19651861"Now, now I see you choosing the hard way.I'M A WARRIOR, M'AM. I'M A WARRIOR!"Then dive into the water and pokeball her ass.Hopefully, the sharpedo won't be able to do shit.
>>19651861She's paralyzed. I catch her in an ultra-ball.
Ah paralysed! Throw poke all at her, save from being mauled! Throw poke all at both of em.
>>19651905No.We beat the Sharpedo with our fists.More XP that way
Catch the Sharpedo with an ultra ball.Pull her out of the water.Resuscitate her.
>>19651881You take a deep breath, and you jump into the water again, and sink like a stone. But you have your pokeball at the ready. You just need to find her in the murky, blood-filled mess. You slowly trundle through the water at the bottom of the pool, looking for her, eventually you find her. She's looking a lot worse for wear, her Sharpedo has gone crazy with blood-rage and has been attacking her. She is missing an arm entirely. You toss your pokeball at her, it slowly floats toward her, and *bink*. She disappears, you grab in out of the water and hold it closed, not bothering to wait, you attempt to trundle back up to the edge.*Whoosh* the sharpedo rushes past you,SHARPEDO uses SLASH.CRITICAL HIT! You take even more massive ouchy. You're at the edge, and you're almost out, you see the fin coming at you, and you're not going to get out in time, what do you do?
It's a shark. PUNCHEON it's nose/gills.Go discovery channel.
>>19651956Look the Sharpedo in the face.Say "I hope I give you the shits you fuckin' wimp."PUNCHEON it in the nose.
>>19651956Hold up a pokeball in front of us.It'll slow its momentum for long enough that we can escape the water and bring it to land.>>19651971That's a terrible fucking idea. Punching a shark in the nose is dum
PUNCHEON The fucker in the nose
Use an escape rope.or throw a pokeball at it, might buy some time.
>>19651977The pokeball is obviously going to catch the Sharpedo, by the by
Look as the last of the water drains off by the power of industry level drainage system that needs its own maintanance room. That shit takes a few minutes to drain swimming pool clean.
>>19651977You whip out a pokeball in the Sharpedo's path, it hits it before it hits you and gets sucked in. Quickly, you clamber out of the pool, and attempt to hold the pokeball closed. The sharpedo wasn't hurt, and it wasn't affected by anything, so it's pushing back, you can't hold it in!The pokeball shatters! The Sharpedo pops back out!...and starts gasping and flopping about on the land.You. are. VICTORIOUS! You have captured: Gym Leader Annette! Do you want to give Gym Leader Annette a nickname?Gym Leader Annette's moves:SwimDiveSurfWaterfallYou have beaten your first gym! You don't know where it came from, but you got a badge! Now what do you want to do?
>>19652015Let's call her the Wet Bitch.Hurr hurr hurr
>>19652015PUNCH THE SHARPEDO BEFORE IT DIESWE NEED THOSE PRECIOUS EX PEES
>>19652028agreed
Name her Misty the Wet Bitch.
>>19652036You name her WET BITCH. Now what are you going to do?
POKECENTER! we got wounds to treat
>>19652015FUCKING STARVING! TIME FOR A FIRST GRADE BARBEQUE! BURN THE BUILDING DOWN
Pokécenter, where we shall capture ourselves a NURSE JENNY for portable healing on our quest to CATCH THEM ALL.Not just the pokémon. ALL.Anyway we need to hit up a shop soon to buy more Mistress Balls at the steal price of 1P each.Also, get our Jennies to forget BE USELESS in favor of LICK, and have them at least stop using WEAR UNIFORM except when it's needed.
I think we should appeal to the gay audience and go to a male gym leader after our pokecenter.
>>19652059I'll just take this one since it was the first one with actions in it.You head over to the pokemon center. Thankfully, no one questions why you're absolutely sopping wet. Maybe it's a normal thing since the water pokemon gym is here. Your LESBIAN HAREM and WET BITCH and now fully healed.You have conquered Blueburg and you have the badge and gym leader to prove it! Nearby towns: Greenville and Yellowton. To where shalt thou go?
>>19652114but we aren't healedwtf man
Lets go to greens
>>19652096THIRD POSTALSO GREENVILLEI DECREE WE SHALL PROCEED ANTI-ROYGBIV>pool, singsov
>>19652122You yourself are not in a pokeball.>>19652150Clever girl.After your pokegirls are fully healed, you toss a pokeball at Nurse jenny while her back is turned. She goes in, but she is not going to stay, you will need to weaken her before she will. So how do you attack, you will need to fight her, and two Chanseys. Name your attack!Also, Mistress balls are strictly black market only. You will need to reach the black market itself, or locate a member of it who is selling them. They have a 4x chance of capturing Females only.You also get your LESBIAN HAREM to forget BE USELESS, and LESBIAN HAREM has now learned LICK. LESBIAN HAREM has stopped using WEAR UNIFORM. LESBIAN HAREM's defense decreases sharply.
Have them lick the nurse down. and the other pokemon
>>19652192sweet scentstep behind one chansey and slap it on the arse, point at the other chansey when it turns around
>>19652210>>19652263Only two responses so far, eh? Shall I let the thread die then? I was just doing it for fun anyway.
>>19652192PUNCHEON and capture Jenny!then have her heal herself with the machines
>>19652318toss a coin, let the gods decide
>>19652322There we have it!You use PUNCHEON over the counter on Nurse Joy, unused to physical combat, Joy immediately crumples. Before you can get her in a pokeball though, the two Chansey are attacking you.One stars wiggling its arms and starts singing, while the other pulls the egg out of it's pouch and chucks it at you. What do you do?
>>19652318"Third response" favors waiting for two knuckleheads to respond first, then sniping, as you need wait a minute to post again.Clyde:>SWEET SCENTHarem: LICKAlex: PUNCHEON
>>19652357catch the egg and save it for breakfast later in our AWESOME HATPILEDRIVE the singing chansey then repeatedly PUNCHEONorder CLYDE to drain the life from the chansey that chucked the egg.
second responseThat is, making it pointless to post first or second means that there will be no first or second post, so there will be no posts, if you get what I mean.
>>19652366and yet without those knuckleheads we'd be going nowhere[therearenospoilers]this too i shall bear[fuckyou]
>>19652366This is true. Okay then. First response that connects to my last response gets it.You yell: "Clyde! Sweet Scent! LESBIAN HAREM! Lick the Chansey's!"And you yourself, turn to the one that had the egg ready to throw and PUNCHEON the FUCK out of it!You feel your eyes getting heavy as the Chansey's singing starts getting to you. Clyde's sweet scent permeates the rooms, and you get yourself caught in it. Your LESBIAN HAREM is all over the singing chansey, and it starts to falter in its singing as their tongues run over it. It strains to concentrate. Your watch as the egg the Chansey you PUNCHEON'd was holding falls toward the ground, you hear a hiss as it starts to crack.A resounding explosion fills the room as the EGG BOMB goes off! Fortunately the Chansey's body absorbed most of it, protecting you. Shrapnel is stuck in the walls and all through the Chansey's body. A few members of your LESBIAN HAREM are down and covered in wounds. Clyde is perfectly fine for some reason. The little bugger is starting to get on your nerves with that. You SNAZZY POLICEGIRL UNIFORM is now a little tattered as well as being damp. But the singing Chansey is PARALYZED, it may not be able to move. Now is your chance! You quickly hobble over to Joy and tuck her in a pokeball. You hold the thing shut. You can skedaddle, or do something else. What do you do?
>>19652438Yes, that's the entire point. It promotes not posting in the quest, which would cause it to grind to a halt.Also note the irony of it itself being one of those "knuckleheads."
>>19652459Book it to greens, with motorcycle action! and Visit there Pokecenter to heal the Wounds of our new "pokemon"
>>19652459take the paralyzed chanseys egg for breakfastuse WET BITCH in the toilet to DIVE down the abnormally wide toilet drain and proceed out journey as FREE WILLY because we suddenly discovered we're a hermaphrodite
>first response gets itOh gods are we in for a ride now.>>19652459>we need healing
>>19652493First: You have acquired NURSE JOY. Do you want to give a nickname to NURSE JOY?Nurse Joy's moves:Healing WishRecoverHeal PulseDouble SlapYou collect yourself and all your pokegirls. You get the members of your LESBIAN HAREM that can still ride and get them to drive you nakedly to Greenville. Again, it isn't very far. You wonder why there haven't been any roads built to connect the towns. It seems like an incredibly stupid way to build and connect cities. Someone could get mauled by a wild pokemon when traveling at night.You arrive in Greenville. You pull up to the pokemon center and get your LESBIAN HAREM back inside their pokeball. Drawing not a few stares. You walk inside in your TATTERED SNAZZY POLICEGIRL UNIFORM and get this Nurse Joy to heal all of your Pokegirls up.She looks at you strangely, but does so. "We hope to see you again!" She says. Oh she will.Outside, you can see a SHOP, a SNEAKY GROUP, and the POKEMON GYM.What do you do?
>>19652536Lets talk to the Sneaky group, But first the shop! we need some items! what do they have and what moneys do we have
Go buy more balls off the SHADY GROUP. We'll need 'em.Also get healed by our nurse if w ecan do that.I mean, with a captured gym leader and police force-I-mean-lesbian-harem we oughtta be rolling in the Pokebills.
>>19652536climb the highest building and tell CLYDE to use sweet scent and envelope as much of the town as he can, if it takes him an hour so be it.when everyones bamboozled, go hunting
>>19652558You have no Pokebucks of your own. However, having captured and beaten many well-to-do women, you have all their money and access to their bank accounts. So you have enough to buy a reasonable amount of whatever. So you buy a bunch of stuff. (Tell me what you want.) Then you go talk to the SNEAKY GROUPThe SNEAKY GROUP are dressed very strangely. The man is wearing all tight leather, and the woman is wearing all latex. They identify themselves as TEAM BONDAGE, their goal is to subvert the status quo and let pokemon rule humans instead of the other way around. To that end, they are going to steal your pokemon.When you have your items listed out, it is time to fight! They do not have any pokemon, they are just going to beat you up. What do you do?
>>19652609Pacify team bondage by pointing out that you're already putting their ideas in practice by treating humans as pokemon.
>>19652623You tell them you're totally all for that! You show them your pokegirls. Team Bondage is absolutely ecstatic. "Would you care to join our group? It comes with a team costume, and we'll teach you the Bondage sign so you can get access to fancy equipment and get help from certain people in towns all over the Pokeworld! Also you get a free parking space at Team Bondage headquarters in Whitemark. What do you do?
>>19652655Mug them and take their clothing.
>>19652655>free latex uniform"Okay, but since you're trying to invert the status quo, you have to make me the leader as new recruit, where I get to change all your principles."
>>19652666You decide instead of accepting their offer, you're going to beat them up as well as everyone else.You use PUNCHEON on the male member, he takes medium ouchy.The female member draws KNIFE, The male member collects his wits and draws CLUB. What do you do?
>>19652693Man, three 666's in a single day. I am on a roll.Send out our pokemans and pokegirls, and let's beat the shit out of them. Clyde use GIGADRAIN on the man, Female Harem use LICK on the woman.
>>19652693Have Clyde use Stun Spore, and the LESBIAN HAREM use Lick
>>19652713Clyde uses MEGA DRAIN on the male member, and sucks out most of his health. The man gets a whack in on Clyde, Clyde takes medium ouchy. The man only has mild ouchy leftYou use LESBIAN HAREM on the woman, and have them use LICK, the nude females swarm over her and proceed to lick her from head to toe. Female Team Bondage member is paralyzed! She might be unable to move!She waves her knife half-heartedly and manages to give mild ouchy to LESBIAN HAREM, but they just proceed to help each other lick their wounds.What do you do?(I think the thread is on it's way out, so I'll wrap this up after the next post.)
Tell them they cant ignore our Girth, and Have clyde use Stun spores. and Use Wet bitch.
>>19652753Steal the man's club and DOUBLE PUNCHEON
>>19652753A little too 'fuck yeah we're the PC hahaha die guards die'. But that's fun once in a while.I think we have exactly three readers?
>>19652753Alright, I will finish up. You use PUNCHEON on the female member, and proceed to nab her in your pokeball as well. As you hold the ball closed, keeping her in just in case, you get clyde to mega drain the man to death. No men are going to be needed where you're going!You grab KNIFE and CLUB and proceed to the gym. It has a symbol of the moon in a night sky on it. DARK you guess. You prepare yourself to begin facing off against the rest of the world. You release all your pokegirls, order them to flank you, and you step inside, ready to begin a pokegirl rampage across the pokemon world!The super lesbian END!
Well, that was entertaining for a bit.
I have to admit, I haven't lol'd inappropriately this much in a long time.
