The year is 2025.Your name is Dave Davis Davidson, and you didn't ask for this.After getting hit by a car and falling into a coma for three months, you awoke with a prototype implant- The Bullfrog. Nobody is exactly quite sure how, but since you've gained the Bullfrog, you can do what physics says is all but impossible- at times, unreliably, you can hack any electronic device, despite the device's signal-recieving hardware. Since then, you've had quite the adventures in corporate warfare, and came out victorious, with a high-tech bunker of your own, an elite suite of AIs, An advanced state-of-the-art power suit, and an eccentric girlfriend. Recently, you acquired a strange, alien artifact from Mars, which you learned was some kind of wormhole generator. <What was that?!> You ask Talos.<Amy has discharged her weapon inside the computer core room.> Talos respondsYou rush into the computer core, and see Amy, her Hydra raised, and the six barrels spinning maliciously, pointing it toward one of the scientists."Hey Dave." Amy said, keeping her eye on the scientist, her lips pursed. "I knew I was right not to trust them. This guy decided to play with our AI.""What? I just- I just got lost!" The scientist said, hands raised.
>>19877699"As if. I've read the book of oldest tricks too, you know."<"Open 'Event Viewer', I want to see logs on what he did.">
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=cyborg+questAre the NearFuture Cyborg Quests part of this story? Or are just the Space Cyborg Quests included?
>>19877797>Space Cyborg is a 'sequel' of sorts of NFC. It has the same characters and setting, but a complete change of theme- Instead of corp warfare, it's based on space exploration... if we eventually get there."As if." You say. "I've read the book of oldest tricks too, you know."<Check the event logs. I want to know what he did.> You tell the resident AI.<He hit several keys, Sir.> Talos said. <But Miss Tolstoy interrupted him before he could finish whatever command he was trying. The keys he typed, in sequence, are A, S, and M.>
>Forgot my trip- >>19877842 is me, in case anyone is wondering.
>>19877842Are AI oracle based? Otherwise i got nothing.
>>19877842I see, what are the rest of the letters you were going to write?
<Correction- A, S, I, and M.>"So." Amy said, brandishing the Hydra. "What do we do with him?"The scientist looked terrified- he was trembling, eyes wide in panic."What were you going to write?" You ask."I was trying to find a-a map. This facility is very large." The scientist said, his eyes glued onto the spinning barrels of Amy's weapon.
>>19877958Amy, we're not going to get any answers if the only thing he can pay attention to is the hydra, and if you shoot him there won't be enough left for facial reconstruction let alone answers.Where you planning on writing something to do with Asimov, as he didn't make maps.
>>19877927It could be a .bat, some backdoor shit or something.>>19877958<Search all files: 'asim*'>
<Search all files for anything including the letters 'asim'.><Understood. Running the check now.> Talos said."Amy, we're not going to get any answers if the only thing he can pay attention to is the hydra. If you shoot him, there won't be enough left for facial reconstruction, let alone answers." You say."Yeah, you're right." She nods, and lowers the weapon.That's when the scientist strikes- His terrified, stunned demeanor drops, and he confidently moves forward, twisting the Hydra out of Amy's hand.You enter bullet-time, but your perceptions aren't as quick as they normally are- possibly because of the brain damage you'd gotten yesterday.And you aren't wearing your suit- You aren't even wearing a shirt, damnit.
>>19878060Bring in Robobutlersuit. We only need to keep the gun pointed away for long enough that we can have the suit rip his head off.
rolled 37 = 37>>19878060TACKLE HIS ASS!
>>19878060I assume we have our medium and small 'drites, I say rip his fucking arm off.
>>19878060Who needs a suit when you have secret techniques. Luckily Dave has studied for many years in a monastery in the Himalayas to learn... the full nelson.
>>19878079Blast his hands with a plasma bolt from the medium 'drites.
>>19878074Not his head, we still need him to talk. An arm maybe, but not his head.Let's try some martial arts lock technique.
You quickly send a signal to your suit, saying, roughly, 'get the fuck in here now'. It starts coming.You leap forward to tackle him, but he twists out of the way, much more lithe than he had any right to be.Amy draws her mono-knife, but he just holds the Hydra toward her head. It whirrs, menacingly."I have a shield." She said.In response, he turns the Hydra toward you, and she pales."Drop the knife." He says.She gives you a worried look.
rolled 16 = 16>>19878123Shield yourself with your other mechandrites and grab the Hydra with a medium 'drite then point it up and away.
rolled 40 = 40>>19878123Hack the Hydra.
rolled 35 = 35>>19878123Trip him martial-arts-movie style and tear out his throat with our teeth and a mighty roar.
rolled 98 = 98>>19878123disable the gun and break something, or a couple things, motherfucker is threatening our woman
>>19878144Thank god.
rolled 82 = 82>>19878123Play for time, we wait a bit longer and the armor will simply rip him apart. Not to amy to drop the knife, start talking to the person, maybe even get them gloating.
You try to bring your 'drites forth, but then you remember-You left all of your drites on your suit.Damnit!You try to hack the hydra, but nothing.<Your nervous system is sending signals, but your damaged brain matter isn't responding.> Azure says."Wait." You say."No." He says, and fires. You roll out of the way as plasma sears the spot you were just laying at. You tear yourself to your feet, grab his arm, and with a twist, you break it. He drops the gun.The armor storms in through the door, weapons ready.The scientist raises an eyebrow, a confident, smug grin on his face.
rolled 47 = 47>>19878186forgot about our lightning hands, lets try that!
rolled 92 = 92>>19878186Kill him. Snap his neck.
You blast him with your SITH LIGHTNING, and he goes down, twitching.Amy scoops up the Hydra, and blasts a few bolts of plasma into each of his arms and legs. He grits his teeth, and gurgles."Due to the plasma," Amy said, her voice full of tightly reined-in anger, "You don't even have the luxury to bleed."You have the suit reach forward, and snap his neck with a mechandrite.<I have found no files on 'asim' or anything that starts with 'asim'. There are no commands or executable files by that name.> Talos beeps."Well." Amy said, grimly. She was still pale. "That's that."
>>19878293I see. Make sure that he is dead, that he isn't augmented and playing dead, confirm the kill.Then we get to call Three and have a chat about his hiring policy.
>>19878293"Are you okay?"
>>19878316This is good, but we need to round up all the other scientists first just in case.
>>19878268I should have refreshed more often to stop this...Look if he has any interesting stuff on him. Implants, electronics, notes and suchMake sure the other scientist are accounted for. I don't want anyone sneeking around.
>>19878293There's not a thumb drive plugged in anywhere, right?
You quickly don the suit, tugging the power armor on as it tightens around you. Finally, your 'drites are yours again. You shove a plasma blade through his chest, piercing his heart and confirming the kill."Are you okay?""I shouldn't have let him get so close." Amy said, gritting her teeth. She kicked his body. "He was pretending to be a non-combatant, but he moved like.. one of those zombies." She said.The zombies were.. strange. Prisoners and undesirables, augmented with monomolecular claws, and injected with combat drugs on a regular basis- Insane, killing machines. You kneel, and check him for implants, electronics, notes... Nothing. His body is fully organic, and he has nothing in his labcoat- notes or devices. He doesn't even have a headset. You check the computer core, and there are no electronics connected to it- nothing out of the ordinary."We should round up the rest of the scientists." You say, and she nods."Okay, everyone, raise your hands. Everyone." Amy said, toward the scientists sleeping in the cots they had brought with them- One of the cots are empty, but everyone else seems accounted for."What's- What's this about?" Douglass asked, raising his hands.
Next time this happens we should pump the room full of sleeping gas. Dave stays awake, but everybody else is incapacitated.
>>19878402Well given that one of your number just tried to hack our system and kill me I am feeling rather paranoid. So what can you tell me about your missing companion?
rolled 32 = 32>>19878402one of your guys just tried to kill us both you're leaving...NOWhack all augments copy and WIPE EVERYTHING.they will take from us nothing. check them carefully for disks. lock them up in a room check their vehicles for anything strip them and send them away.call 3 "deals off your guy tried to kill us."
>>19878462Chill out dude. Its entirely possible this had nothing to do with resurgence. Lets make sure before we go and cut ties.
>>19878462Don't do that just yet, talk first to them, then talk to Three, then decide a course of action.
rolled 55 = 55>>19878462Hey, Monotreeme, this is a little hasty. We need to find out what the butt is going on before we just send them all off.Rolling for >>19878429 suggestion.
"Well, given that one of your number just tried to hack our system and kill me, I am feeling rather paranoid." You say, leaving the screen on your helmet perfectly blank. "So, what can you tell me about your missing companion?"They looked around."Callidus?" Douglass said. "He's.. quiet, and rather timid.""He's gullible." Another scientist said. "With all the personality of a mannequin."
>>19878500Is anyone here named Eversor, Vindicare or Culexus?No, he was an infiltrator and none of you noticed because he was very good. Call up Three, over a secure connection, and let him know he has a leak.
>>19878500Either the guy is crazy, or someone rode him just now.
"No, he was an infiltrator, and none of you noticed because he was very good." You say."What?" Douglass said. "Three personally chose everyone on the team. I don't think he would make that kind of mistake...""He dropped his act." Amy said, and drew the Hydra off of her hip. "It's a rare person who can get a gun from me. He was an infiltrator."She sighed."I'll see what I can get from these people, you can go talk to Three about this." She says.You go back to the computer core room, and turn on the Resurgence Communication terminal, calling three."Yes?" His distorted voice came through. "Did the research team arrive?"
>>19878637"Yes. One of your guys tried to hack our system, and almost killed me."
"Yes." You say. "One of your guys tried to hack our system, and almost killed me."He's silent for a moment."Can you elaborate?" He asks.In short, terse words, you explain what happened. Amy had found him in the computer core room, and he claimed he was lost. The moment she lowered her gun, he attacked."Callidus. . .hmph." Three says. "I knew I shouldn't have sent anyone who wanted to be on Twelve's team."Twelve. Resurgence's own 'bad apple', so to speak. He was petty, childish, angry. . . and much higher up in Resurgence's chain of command than he had a right to be. He had implanted a bullfrog in himself by the time you got to him and his airship, and you killed him.
>>19878776Did anyone else in this group desire to be with Twelve? Because I don't exactly trust anyone in that category.
>>19878776"You've still got some of Twelve's loonies in your organization? Three, are you nuts? I thought we'd come to the conclusion that, without a doubt, Twelve was cancer upon Resurgence, and so were his followers. This guy, Callidus, had some kind of biological modification, turning him into an undetectable chem-zombie. That was poor form of you to send him without telling me. Is there anyone else I should know about from the research team?"
"Did anyone else in this group desire to be with Twelve?" You ask. "Because I don't exactly trust anyone in that category.""No, not at all." He said. "The rest of them never wanted to be in any of the cells, and Douglass joined Resurgence after we changed our methods.""This guy, Callidus, moved like a zombie." You say. "He had to have some kind of undetectable biological modification or something. That was poor form of you to send him without telling me.""Yes, you're correct." Three said. "I apologize- He acted of his own volition, and I didn't intend anything malicious. I can recall the team, if you wish."
>>19878865I'm not mad Three, I'm just disappointed. They can stay, I'll have a closer eye kept on them. Next time tell me whenever anyone involved with Twelve is part of something.
>>19878865"They can stay. However I will limit where they can move within the base. As much as I hate to do that I don't want any suprises in my sleep or similar. In other news the device seems to be able to create Wormholes."
"I'm not mad, Three, I'm just disappointed. They can stay. I'll have a closer eye kept on them, and I may limit where they can move within the base. Next time, tell me whenever anyone involved with Twelve is part of something.""I will." Three said. "In other news, the device seems to be able to create wormholes.""Wormholes.""Yes. Supposedly." You say."Have you tested it?" He asked."Not yet, but we intend to." You say."I see. When you do, please inform me." Three said.
>>19879006Will do, I'm planning a vacation/test of it. Are there any distant things in space you want me to check out?
"Will do. I'm planning a vacation and test of it. Are there any distant things in space you want me to check out?""Well... there are several earth-like planets I wouldn't mind seeing if there's life on them." He said. "But this is just professional curiosity, and of course you don't have to listen to me. I'll go get the information from a few astrophysicists I know, and send it to you." He said, and you hear him rapidly typing. Soon enough, the terminal pings with data.
>>19879157>I keep losing my trip today.
>>19879157I'll see if I can check it out. If we get attacked by aliens I'm blaming you. Also if you start colonizing planets make sure to name one of them Planet Dave or something like that. Dave Prime maybe.
>>19879232Planet Dave is an awesome name. Amy would facepalm hard though.
"I'll see if I can check it out." You say. "If we get attacked by aliens, I'm blaming you.""Heh. I'll take the blame gladly." Three said. "The idea of other sapient beings is making me somewhat giddy. Good luck, Dave.""Thanks." You say, and hang up, and look at the data. There are three earthlike planets on the list- the closest being one called Asura. This might be good to know."Daaave." Amy said, twirling the Hydra in her hands. "The Sleipnir." She said, with a grin. "It's done! I even left a space for the artifact."
>>19879356Amy, we need a flag. We need a flag we can throw on a planet and claim it in our name. We're the first people going out this far, we can name a solar system the Dave System and the we can name the sun Amy. We'll give our friends planet names and make them argue about who gets what planet. Three asked me to check out some earth-like planets if we can, it sounds fun.
>>19879356"Wonderful! Let's check it out."Collect the artifact, too
"Let's check it out." You say. Amy nods, slides the Hydra back on her hip, and leads you up to the large chamber that the Jormungandr used to sit.Now... the chamber is even larger. As is the Jormungandr.It still has the same smooth, roughly cylindrical shape, but it's much, much larger. It looks as if Amy had just built on top of it, and attached enormous mechandrites to the bottom, and large, modified power shields sit on the back."I upgraded it the same way I did with the Ravens." Amy said. "It cost me a bit, but I was able to get enough raw materials pretty cheap.">50,000 credits remaining"I added more repulsion drives. . .and guess what else I did?"You look at her, and she just grins."Artificial gravity! I even put enough hover plates on the inside that the G-forces won't instantly kill us." She said. "Of course, a gradual speed up is a lot better on the system itself than an instant burst of speed, but now we can do it without dying. Of course, we also have artificial antigravity, too." She said, with a sly smile. "And an internal fabrication system. It runs on atomic goop, of course.""Amy, we need a flag." You say, looking up at the Sleipnir. "We need a flag we can throw on a planet and claim it in our name.""Yes!" She says, pumping a fist in the air. "Tolstoy system, here we come. Talos, bring the artifact here and install it, will you?"<Yes, Ma'am.> Talos's speakers say, and the drones whiz by, carrying the artifact.
>>19879532How about the Dave-Tolstoy system or the Dave-Amy system or the Tentacled God of War-Adorable Technicolor Death Machine System?
>>19879532"I have to wonder, since space is a big, nasty place, and who knows what's out there... Is this thing capable of giving out a full broadside? In fact, since it's cylindrical, we could easily put ball turrets with energy weapons all around the hull, and broadside, spin, broadside again with turrets on the side now facing the enemy, and continue on like that. Like the broadside equivalent of a gatling gun. Plus, we'd be able to level guns on the enemy no matter our facing. Missiles are good, but take a lot of goo. Tiny motes of mercury accelerated to extreme speeds and into a plasma state do not."
"I have to wonder. Since space is a big, nasty place, and who knows what's out there... Is this thing capable of giving out a full broadside?""Of course." she said. "The Jormungandr had turrets on all sides, and this is just a souped up, retro-fitted Jormungandr.""How about the Dave-Tolstoy system?""That sounds like it's named after a guy with the first name Dave, last name Tolstoy." Amy says. "The Dave-Amy system?""You just want to name something Dave, don't you?" She asked. "You know what? Fine. I'll name something after you."She gave you a mischevious grin."Meet... The Davemobile."She hit a key on her wrist computer, and then it rolled out.Four wheels, a powerful, whirring engine, two mechandrites sticking out of the sides, matte black, 'davemobile' stenciled on the side... It was beautiful."Here's the remote." She said, handing you the remote to the small, RC car. "I had to test the fabrication *somehow*." She said, and gave you a kiss.
>>19879656That is by and far the best gift anyone has given another human being. Test out that bad mofo.
>>19879656"bueno.jpg"
>>19879656A single tear rolls down our face. Then, we harass the scientists from afar while we get back to calling our friends to see if they'll join the venture, assailing the Resurgence boy's ankles with the tiny mechandrites while casually saying "I pinch."
>>19879656Sync with the remote and then pilot it with our brain.Drive it around, use the drite to grab onto walls so it can corner, start doing flips.
"This is, by and far, the best gift anyone has ever given another human being." You say, and take the remote in hand. You make it turn. . and it promptly flips over, the wheels whirring into the sky fruitlessly. You make the 'drites push itself back up, and then you roll it over to the scientists."Davemobile?" Douglass asks, looking down at it."I pinch!" You cry from the other room, and nip his ankle with a tiny, RC mechandrite.Amy rolls her eyes. "I build an enormous, space-travelling battle yacht with technology most people don't even know exists yet, including alien tech, and a disintegration cannon... and you instantly prefer the RC." She says."I pinch!" You cry again.Douglass kicks the RC, and it bounces off the wall, completely undamaged."Turns out, nano-meta can make really strong materials." Amy said.
>>19879750Space Yachts can't pinch. Haha, the Davemobile is invincible. I PINCH. I PINCH FOR JUSTICE. Go after someone else, try having it clamber up a wall and performing a death from above pinch.
>>19879786But it can pinch. Remember that it has dendrites on it!
>>19879815Well yes, but if we tried pinching people with those it'd kill them. We can pinch asteroids though.
"Space yachts can't pinch." You say."This one can!" She says, and points at one of the eight massive mechandrites connected to the bottom of the Sleipnir."Not without killing them." You say.". . .good point." She says, and sulks. "I'm going to go check it out from the inside." She said, and rolled toward it.You chuckle, and make the davemobile leap from the wall, pinching another one of the scientists.
>>19879884>". . .good point." She says, and sulks. "I'm going to go check it out from the inside." She said, and rolled toward it.Can the space exploration, we need nothing beyond the davemobile.
>>19879884Haha, we pinch. Ok, back to business. Take a tour of Sleipnir, marvel at the awesomeness, christen the ship through a hot makeout session in 0-g.
>>19879884Lets go with her, then. Use the Davemobile to inform Doug we're leaving soon.
"Okay, back to business." You say, and follow Amy into the Sleipnir, following Amy, when she suddenly stops and turns around, giving you a grin."Hey, Dave. Brace yourself."She hits a button on her wrist computer, and suddenly gravity is sideways. You slam into the wall\floor, while Amy, having been ready for it, landed adoitly on the wall\floor. She pulled you up\sideways to your feet, and chuckled."We're leaving soon." You tell the research team via the Davemobile. "Feel free to climb aboard."Amy leads you, (sideways), through the various halls, before showing you the main bridge. It had a massive screen, a series of chairs, and everything was actually quite similar to Valhalla, with the spartan, colorless floor and walls.She closed and locked the door to the bridge, and then pulled you close, hitting another button on the wrist computer. Gravity abruptly vanishes, and she unclasps your helmet.
>>19880173"Well now we don't even need to go into space, might as well start calling everyone to cancel."<Talos, start loading everything up.>
"Well, now we don't even need to go into space." You say, the moment you have your lips to yourself again. "Might as well start calling everyone to cancel."She grinned. "That's rather impolite, though." She said. "Plus, it's not as if we can rename this system- much better to rename a different one." She said.<Talos, start loading everything up.> <Understood.>---The canopy above the Sleipnir's chamber slowly opens, as the researchers stare at the screen."Ready?" Amy asks, hands on the bridge's controls. She pushes a lever, and the repulsion drive shoves the Sleipnir into the sky, almost as fast as a raven. She swerves it about, turning the entire ship sideways as she does- surprisingly, you don't feel it. The inside is eerily calm, and you don't feel any momentum from the inside- The hover plates, no doubt."Now. .To Nearfuture city." She said, and shoved the lever to maximum.the EE building is much more heavily defended than when you first saw it. You suppose that Grayson's paranoia, not to mention the time the Board was attacked, made them give him extra funding. The turrets eerily track you, as one of Talos's forks control the EE's security system. Standing on the roof is Grayson, Abel, the Gemini twins, Epsilon, and Sigma. Amy swerves the entire thing to a stop above the building, and you lean out of the airlock."Sup." You say."Sup." Abel responds, a cat cage in his hands. Inside, Ishelda is sleeping.
>>19880346Stick a finger through and scritch Ishelda's ears while sweettalking her."I see you've been taking good care of my cat, Grayson. But how'd you get her in the carrier?"
>>19880346Gang, meet Sleipnir. We're going into space and then farther than any member of the human race has ever traveled. Much farther.
rolled 89 = 89>>19879656burst into tears...it's beautiful Amy, (sniff) I love you! (hug followed by playing with the car like a tiny child)"any thing we need to buy in terms of provisions?"{narrating our feavered imaginings}"here we are on planet dave, on the davemobile orbiting the Dave-star oh crap aliens!"
"I see you've been taking good care of my cat, Grayson." you say, as you scritch Ishelda's ears. She nips at your fingers- such a good cat. "How'd you get her in the carrier?"Grayson scratched his head. "I, uh, asked her nicely. She just hopped in."At Grayson's words, Ishelda started purring."Gang, meet Sleipnir." You say. "We're going into space, and then farther than any member of the human race has ever traveled. Much farther."".. How much farther?" Epsilon- Otherwise known as Karin- asked, somewhat warily. She hadn't liked you ever since you took control of some of her drones."Other solar systems!" You cry, and everyone files in."Amy." Lucca says- Ever since Amy shot at her, they've been rather awkward talking to one another."Lucca." Amy responds."Who are these?" Sigma asked, jabbing a thumb toward the researchers.
rolled 2 = 2>>19880460their tech flunkies on loan from this guy I know...they did all the hard stuff like reading long words...I just had to sacrifice an appreciable fraction of my brain to the cause...
>>19880460Science people, from a friend. We have a fucking Einstein-Rosen Bridge creator on this baby, I like having people with Phuds after their name when we're making WORMHOLES!
"Science people." You say. "On loan from a friend.""I see. You can never have enough science people." Sigma said. "Have you been feeding and watering them like you should?""Of course we have." Amy said, chuckling.After a bit of socializing, as the research team introduces themselves to your companions, Amy finally urges the Sleipnir straight up, tearing through the atmosphere. Sparks dance along the surface of the ship as the power shield protects you from the friction. ". . Wow." Lucas said, staring up at the stars. "Didn't think I'd ever get to go to space." He said, shrugging. You see Project Immortal roil through his body, the cables writhing."So." Amy says. "Where to?"You check the data Three had given you, and there were three earthlike planets in the list.>>In order from closest to furthest.>[] Asura>[] Skeith>[] Innis>[] Other??
>>19880632Let's go for the suggestion, Asura. Not wise to do a long jump with untested technology.
>>19880632[X] AsuraGentlemen, we are going to another world. one with earth like characteristics. It is officially named Asura, but for the duration of our visit it shall be known as PLANET DAVE! If it has a moon its name shall be Amy, if there is another moon I shall dub it Ishelda. I am the captain, you can tell because of my fancy hat.
>>19880632We need to introduce the gang to the Davemobile. Pinch, pinch.Oh, yeah. We still need to go somewhere boring while playing with the davemobile... Asura sounds okay.
"Asura." You say, connecting to the computer and giving it the data."Wasn't that the one in discover magazine?" Sigma asked. "The earthlike one?""Let's try." Amy said. She looked over to the researchers. "You think you know how to do it?"<I know how to do it.> Onyx said to you, privately.Douglass nods. "We have the basic idea, yeah. Just start speeding up, we'll put in the numbers.""Gentlemen." You say."We are going to another world. One with earthlike characteristics. Officially, it is named Asura, but for the duration of our visit, it shall be known as 'Planet Dave'!"---Floating through the ether, Sleipnir drifts through space, red sparks shooting from the repulsion drives in the back.A violet light bursts from the ship.And then again.Sleipnir speeds up, longer bolts of lightning shooting from the back.Then faster.And faster.Another violet burst."We're reaching the required speed." Amy said. slowly easing forward on the lever. The researchers entered a few numbers into the computer core, and the artifact. . .flashed.Sleipnir stops accelerating, but continues tearing through space. . .And then the wormhole opened, and the ship flashes through.On the other side... was the planet. Asura."Ladies and Gentlemen." Douglass said. "We have successfully traveled faster than light."The research team starts cheering.<Dave.> Cyan- your network specialist AI- says. <We're getting some kind of radio transmission.>
>>19880870Radio transmissions! That means aliums!
>>19880870"Well? Pick it up. It'd be rude to just let it go to voicemail.""Ahem. Ahumhahuhhem. Greetings! We come in peace!"
>>19880870ALIUMS HO!
>>19880918No Dave, you are the aliums.
>>19880931But who was phone?
<Well? Pick it up It'd be rude to just let it go to voicemail.> You say.You hear a burst of static. . and then beeping. High beep, low beep... it was rapid, and without any tune. There were many more low beeps than there were high beeps. Whatever the message was, it was two-toned, and strangely familiar.
>>19880974Morse code? Dunno. Let one of our AIs figure it out.
>>19880974It's fucking binary, these clever fucks have binary as well. Good for them. Run it through our computers, it's probably prime numbers. Return binary beeps that match squaring numbers.
>>19880974"Oh, shoot. They're communicating with some kind of Morse code. Does anyone here know Morse code? Does this ship even have a telegraph machine?"
<Morse code?> You ask.<No, it's not morse code.> Cyan said. <I'm trying to translate it into something understandable. . binary, maybe?>There's a beat.<It's binary.> Cyan says. <Let me figure out what it means. . Oh my.> Cyan adds. <It's the Arecibo message. Sent from earth in 1973.>"Dave?" Amy asks."It's fucking binary." You say. "These clever fucks have binary as well. Good for them."". . What?!" Amy asks, and flips open her wrist computer. "Radio transmission. You figure out what it means yet?"
>>19881074How far is Asura away? Not that we're receiving that old message because of travel times, or something.
>>19881101That's just what I was thinking.
>>19881074Well, they're saying that we got our message from a while back. We sent one out in 1970s. We gave them some basic info on us. Well say hi back to them. Ask our AIs to send it back but with markers that indicate we're of the same people who sent it. Maybe we add an addition to the end of the human standing in space, then another of him standing here.>>19881101Unlikely, the timing would be fucking impossible. We sent it once, a 3 minute long message.
>>19881074 "Question is, what do we say back?"I say we encode an image of Dave as the Omnissiah into binary and send it for a larf.
>>19881145If aliens ate sending that to us, that means they know where we are from. I find this concerning
>>19881213I agree. They've probably already launched their relativistic kill vehicles. Oh god, kill them, kill them all. From orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
>>19881213How far away in lightyears is this place? Because if that number exceeds 52 we've got bigger problems.
"How far away is Asura?" You ask."Six light-years away." Douglass responds. "Around two parsecs. Goddamnit, I feel like I'm in a science fiction novel." He said, looking out of the viewscreen.<Much too close to have just caught our own sent message.> Cyan says. <Not to mention, it's much too clear. It's coming from the planet itself.>Everyone is silent."Well." You say. "Let's say hi back to them.""Uh... what do we say?" Douglass said, blinking. ". . We come in peace?"<Cyan, modify the message they just sent us.> You say. <Change the planets to signify us on this one.><Certainly.> Cyan said. <This is the only planet in the system, so it won't be difficult.>Cyan starts beeping in that same, strange, two-tone signal.Three minutes after the message is sent, there's been no response.Then, simultaneously. . .a thousand messages get sent back to you. hundreds of them, an onslaught of binary messages of all sorts, on different wavelengths.
>>19881246Cyan, sort this shit out. What are they saying?
>>19881246Mass reply to all in the most basic audio format we can: "Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong."
>>19881246Well, time to introduce ourselves, I guess.
>>19881246These guys are about as excited as we are. We found extraterrestrial life.Do a scan, what tech level do they look to be at?Start sifting through the messages. All we know is that they're intelligent, they could be sentient slime mold for all we know, it's so exciting. Or silicon based. Oh joy, maybe send some music back to them, something classic.
>>19881290How would sentient slime know what music is when it doesn't have ears? Look at what they're actually saying before sending back weird patterns at them.
>>19881246Whoops. Looks like a populated planet. Wait for someone official to turn up, or find the biggest city on the planet.
>>19881265This seems the most dave action to take. Also its hilarious.
rolled 29 = 29>>19881246"Amy, please tell me you included some autonomous drones... lets send them down to say hi"
>>19881246We need to prepare ourselves. We need to look less rag-tag and more like a proper envoy group. We need some matching, crimson duds."Amy, fire up the fabricator.">>19881265I'll second this.
>>19881246Guys, imagine if one alien ship showed up and messaged everyone over the entire earth. That's just what happened.We just fucked their entire civilization.
>>19881318This is radio, it's binary by switching between two tones, we're using radio as it's simple and understandable. Send something acknowledging back, so they know we received but have a lot to sort through. Don't send anything out, they might be kinda jumpy.
<Cyan, sort this shit out. What are they saying?><It's . . there's a lot of it.> Cyan said. <It's all just melding together into white noise, for the most part.>You clear your throat. "Cyan, send this in audio format. The most basic you can." <Recording.> Cyan responds."Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong."Epsilon snorts, and starts chuckling, covering her face. Everyone else is silent- maybe they didn't get the reference.<. . .They just sent back that same message.> Cyan said. <All of them. 'Bah Weep Graaagna Wheep Ni Ni Bong'.>
Guys, we fucked up. We should have spent all of our money on atomic goop; since now that we're out here there is no garuntee that we can go back.And our money is worthless out here.
>>19881387"Universal greeting. It never fails."
>>19881391We should have asked Van-co their secrets of goop manufacturing; or stolen it. Because we are still dependent on their goop for our survival out here in space.
>>19881387Move the ship up to orbit, give the planet a quick once over. How many continents? Estimated tech level, etc.
>>19881387For those silent because they didn't get the reference:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzE2BoNW6bc&feature=player_detailpage#t=9s
>>19881375>it's binary by switching between two tonesNo, it's binary by switching between two frequencies/amplitudes/whatever of radio wave. Our equipment just interpreted it as sound.
"Universal greeting." You say. "It never fails. Amy." You say. "Go ahead and take us in closer.""Sure thing, Dave."The Sleipnir darts down through the atmosphere- You can see tall, spire-like plants sticking out of the ground, and very similar pale, silver spires. The Aliums (Or nativiums, you suppose) are standing around, looking up at you. Strange, scrawny grey beings with four spindly arms, from what you could see.<What kind of tech level do you suppose they have?> You ask your AI.<They don't seem to have gone through a space age yet.> Azure responds. <But they understand radio.>
>>19881387We should try to send a message through a harder to use means, so less people reply, laser pulses maybe? What's the next tech after radio?
>>19881451Aww shit, less advanced than us. That means we have the responsibility of not accidentally completely fucking up their society.
>>19881453Like go through all our methods of communication; and see which ones work?>>19881451We should land at a remote part of the planet; as a prevention of being shot out of the sky. It's better to assume that this race has many cultures; so we must try to be impartial.
>>19881451Communication through radio? Sweet. Let's get out and say hello. Also, get cyan to try to listen in on some private communications and learn the language.
>>19881485They could throw nukes at us and our ship would most likely be able the shrug them off rather easily.
>>19881499And that would terrify them. Also, these are aliens. They might have pulse rifle technology that operates on another wavelength that our shields don't protect against.Better safe than sorry.
>>19881451Set down gently, the ship's weapons, if possible, not exposed. Tromp out in full power armor, red carpet rolled out, with hands behind our back and drites dragging behind us as a pseudo-cape. When we've filed out and are off the ramp, assuming the environment is breathable, take off our helmet, and either way, extend a handshake as a symbol of peace.
>>19881451Tell AI to get to work compiling those messages into a translator. It shall be improved when we talk to their leader. >Time for diplomancy.
>>19881499Or just shoot 'em out of the air before detonation. Less potential fallout and EMPs that way.>>19881451We haven't had dinner, yet! Or was it lunch? Let's grab a meal before we play First Contact.
>>19881531Display smily face, and extend drite in symbol of peace
>>19881537Take us to your leader?
>>19881545+1
>>19881531>assuming the environment is breathable, take off our helmetNope. I don't want to catch any weird alium viruses we don't have any immunity to, and I don't want to wipe out half the planet by giving them colds either.
<Start working on compiling those messages.> You tell Cyan.<I need... a lot more computing power.> Cyan responded. <So I'll copy a fork over into Sleipnir, and use it.>You connect Cyan to the computer, and he transfers over."Well.. let's set down." You say."What? Are you crazy?" Lucca asked. "We don't know if they're friendly.""Yeah, we do." Epsilon said. "Dave's AI has been recieving messages this entire time. A lot of messages. They're happy to see us. They're *excited*.""Or they're trying to make us think they're excited." Lucca said.Amy shrugged. "It's up to you, Dave."
>>19881572Poppycock.
>>19881593"Well, how big a stick would they need to actually harm the ship?"
>>19881572We don't even know if they're biologically compatible with us for viruses to transfer.We should check some of the local flora on that.
"Well, how big a stick would they need to actually harm the ship?""We have quite the shield." Amy said. "They'd need a pretty big stick, and they don't look like they have anything big enough. Of course, with enough small sticks they'll take it down, so we do have to be pretty careful."
>>19881593"If they're trying to trick us then we'll just turn right around and send them an angry message. They don't seem advanced enough to take us down. If they're friendly then it's about time we made first contact. Though we'll need to sterilize ourselves and the ship; we don't need a War of the Worlds type accidental genocide. Thing is, we're going to look a little off in our rather distinct gear. We need a uniform."
>>19881593Let's at least get close enough to try magical bullshit hacking on them.
>>19881593Let's hover a bit and try to understand their langue. Once we can comunicate basically, send down a probe to test local fauna and make sure we don't kill it. Or the other way around. And get full environmental suits for everyone. We are not wiping out an entire planet of indigenous people. Or bring something back that'll make the Black Death look like child's play.
>>19881604>We don't even know if they're biologically compatible with us for viruses to transferExactly, we don't know anything. Which is why we should be extremely fucking careful.
>>19881621We could set down over an unpopulated part of their world to study the local life froms and wait for the translator to come online.
>>19881637Let's not land. We don't know their culture.Are they communal? If so, landing on their land means we have to share. How can we even communicate to them that's not it?Is it finders keepers? What if we land on an alien equivalent of an old man's lawn and he tries to attack us? Do we know how to put them down nonviolently? We don't even know their biology.>>19881629>>19881632Like these guys said, let's play really carefully.
>>19881632I wasn't endorsing going in incautiously, I was just sayin'.
>>19881680>Are they communal? If so, landing on their land means we have to share. How can we even communicate to them that's not it?>Is it finders keepers? What if we land on an alien equivalent of an old man's lawn and he tries to attack us? Do we know how to put them down nonviolently? We don't even know their biology.How about not giving a fuck. They've managed to get radios so they probably get the idea not to fuck with a technologically superior species.If not, it's their problem.
>>19881692This is first fucking contact, not storming a CD base; are you really suggesting we go balls out and see what happens? We could wipe out their ENTIRE PLANET SPECIES unknowingly. And Dave's sarcasm is going to play havoc once we can communicate with them.
>>19881692This is called irresponsibility. Our behavior right now will set the stage for all future interactions between our two species.
>>19881758This is called white guilt.
>>19881789It's called not being a dick, bro.
"Let's just set down on an unpopulated part of their world, and study the local life forms." You say."Right." Amy said. "If I can find one. The only life forms I can see are those... tree spire things." She said, as you fly overhead. "And the grey guys. I don't think there is any place unpopulated.""We do need to be careful." You say. "We don't want to give them like. . alium bacteria or something.""You know," Douglass said. "This would likely be a lot easier if we had a biologist or anthropologist, instead of just us physicists.""Let's just wait." You say. "Until Cyan finishes trying to translate these messages."<It's fortunate they're using binary.> Cyan said. <Or we'd be here all day.>You see that some of the aliums are holding up signs. Some colored in squiggles, some with obvious writing. . And you notice that a few have human stick figures written on them.Abel looked at the screen, looking at the signs."Well." He said. "I have a feeling they've been waiting for us.
>>19881795>"This would likely be a lot easier if we had a biologist or anthropologist, instead of just us physicists."We should have just brought the NASA dream team. A mathematician, a statistician and a physicist.
>>19881795Almost as if someone's been here before.
>>19881795Yeah, we aren't the first ones. Let's translate and communicate, baby.
>>19881821They've probably been watching/hearing our broadcasts for years.
>>19881789How do you even equate that? What's next, communicating with radio signals is misogynist?
>>19881836Oh my fucking god, I lol'd.
>>19881830S'what I Think.
"Almost as if someone's been here before." You say. . <We've recieved another broadcast.> Cyan said. <This one is using a stronger radio than most. It's coming from the northern continent. It reads, roughly. . .2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29. . .> He said. <And it goes on. They're all prime numbers.>>>End of thread!>>My twitter is @futureexabyte>>And I'll stick around to answer questions.
>>19881979> <And it goes on. They're all prime numbers.>Quick, counter with Fibonacci numbers.
>>19881979Looks like that guy is a scientist or a smarter one of them. Or the alien species that game us this wormhole tech.
rolled 91 = 91>>19881979This species calls themselves aliums, when translated to english. The native word is unpronouncable by humans. Their word for 'human' sounds like 'Alium'. Pure coincidence.>Okay?>Rolling for that.
>>19882311But if this species is called aliums then we can't call all the other aliums aliums.
rolled 35 = 35>>19882331Funny coincidence, actually. All of the extraterrestial life in the universe calls themselves 'Aliums,' at least when translated to a sound pronouncable by humans. >Also, dave doesn't care, i guess It would be like calling all occidental peoples 'Chinese'>but less specist because that's what they call themselves.
rolled 52 = 52>>19882372The explanation being that they make sounds, and communicate, in ways that humans can't.Since one of Dave's AI is the one doing the translating the word he prefers is used, since no alternative can be found.'Alien' is not in his vocabulary. Despite the 'exabyte' fuckup earlier.The Aliums don't mind because they understand the communication barrier. (As made obvoius by the fact that they are using math to communicate, Math is the universal language)>rolling for this to be canon, as most of it already is.
rolled 15 = 15>>19882452Let me help you there.
rolled 25 = 25>>19882461That's not how you do it.
Please go to bed drunk anon. The thread is over.
rolled 78 = 78>>19882461>>19882470You both suck.>>19882478>implying Drunky would intentionally post without his trip now
rolled 17 = 17>>19882478>Implying I sleep.I do support the Alium idea though.
rolled 13 = 13>>19882870But let me try to support it better than that.
rolled 15 = 15>>19882870>>19882882I said better, not worse.
rolled 28 = 28>>19882870>>19882882>>19882896Whatever.
>>19882452YOU CALL THAT A ROLL? THIS IS A ROLL MOTHERFUCKER
>>19882932IF YOU ADD THE DICE 1D100 OF COURSE.
>>19882932It's quite clearly not.
>>19882932It's funny, because if you capslock the dice code it doesn't work.
rolled 81 = 81>>19882932lol.>Aliums
rolled 99 = 99>>19882968
rolled 33 = 33>>19883048
rolled 37 = 37>>19883048So then, does this make Aliums accepted term for specifically talking about life not from Earth?>If not, here's a roll to make it so.
rolled 27 = 27>>19883139Why am I not 100s tonight?>I just want Aliums...
rolled 18 = 18I miss the whole thread and this is the reward I get?Exabyte going back on a nat100 promise and shit rolls...>Somebody explain.
rolled 99 = 99>>19883228Bye guys...>Last try for Aliums.
>>19883259>WELP, still no nat 100>I guess 'alium' isn't the standardized term for extraterrestrials, then. It's only a Dave-ism.
>>19883432The correct choice.
rolled 40 = 40>>19883259That's not how you get a nat100. Let me help you.
rolled 8 = 8>>19883441>The incorrect choiceftfy
>>19883228>>19883139Here's the thing. They are called aliums. Dave always calls extraterrestrials aliums. Even in my narration, they're 'aliums' unless I fuck up. But to other people, to other humans who speak english, they call them 'aliens' because that's the standardized term for it in nearfuture 2025. Except for maybe Amy, but that's because she plays along with Dave's eccentricity. An after-thread nat100 most likely won't change the setting as a whole- though it did change dave's character.
rolled 3 = 3>>19883783rolling to fuck over his plans.
All is not as it seems.They are looking for you.
>>19884331They can't be looking very hard, we're hovering here broadcasting radio waves at everyone and probably being the top story on every alium news program on the planet.
rolled 55 = 55>>19884331>>19884422Lol. Really, how hard can it be to find a person that isn't even hiding themselves? A person that needs to announce his presence to the world?They're looking for him? More like He's looking for them.>He found them.The Aliums, I mean.
So, if these aliums are sending the Arecibo message message back at us to say they got it, and nobody's picked it up on Earth yet, then they must have started doing it less than 6 years ago. But the original message would have reached their planet 45 years ago. Why the delay?
>>19884505>They weren't sending it back to say 'they got it', they're sending it back to say 'was this you? or is it someone else?'>You returning the message to them roughly meant 'yep.'
>>19884537They were actually sending it at our ship and not Earth? But we received the message the instant we arrived in the system. Like, the delay seemed to be a couple of seconds at most.If an alien spaceship arrived above Earth, it'd take a while to detect it, hours of squabbling and politics about how to respond...And they're meant to be less advanced. I guess they really were waiting for us. Like freaky stalker hiding in the bushes kind of waiting.
>>19884613>Well, they *have* been receiving constant broadcasts in the past forever. You'll learn more about it next thread.
>>19884613Maybe they picked the message up some time ago and have just been sending it back hoping to get some kind of communication going.
rolled 35 = 35>>19884613Like tinfoil hats kind of waiting?>Oh wait...
>>19884664Their society is going to be all corrupted by our tv, isn't it? Baggy jeans everywhere?
rolled 98 = 98>>19884687And skate shoes and Converse and fitted trucker hats. Please kill me now.
>>19884703Well it really depends on how far away they are, in light years, and how far in the 'nearfuture' we are currently.
>>19884687It'd be funny if they tried to emulate us, but couldn't quite figure out how to make denim, or their physiology doesn't match the idea of pants very well.
>>19884719It's 2025 and they're 6 light-years away so they're currently watching 2019 TV. I don't know what that's like but it's probably just as shit as 2012 TV.
>>19884703The Planet of the Hispters
