HARDER, BUTLER, SWAGGIER, FASTER.Into every generation a Butler is born: one man in all the world, a Chosen One. He alone will wield the swag and skill to catch the ladies, dames, and the armies of bitches; to get into their hearts and to add them to the family.He is Hayate, The Combat Butler.>ARCHIVES HEREhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Mahou%20Shounen%20Quest>archive.foolz HEREhttp://archive.foolz.us/tg/search/subject/mahou%20shounen/order/asc/-=-=-=-=-=-=-LAST TIME=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Back outside, you load your stuff onto the trolley and prepare to head home."That was a close one huh?" Susan comments."You're lucky they don't go for girls." you tell her with a sidewards glance."Indeed." she grins.You put a hand on the trolley's handle and prepare to jump back home.You took out your portkey and prepared to activate it by pressing the button in the teapot held by the tiny pewter bunny.But before you could do so, a voice stops you.It was voice you hoped you would never hear again, a voice that brought back terrible memories and trauma."Hey son, did some shopping there?" that person said. "You sure have loads of cash now huh?"WAT DO?
rolled 47 = 47>>19985167Fuck yeahRIP AND TEAR
Murder and Mayham await.
Mentilate our team, our girls, everyone we know."Help me please!"
>>19985167I don't want to kill him.Yet.
>>19985224This!
Have Susan port to the house and check the girls, we'll deal with the fucker.
>"My parents are dead, it's the only logical conclusion I can come to that would lead to the Yakuza chasing after me to collect my organs for sale. There for, you must be an imposter, with no right to call me family. Now leave, before I must take drastic measures."Has Udz said this in this thread yet?This.
>>19985167Send Susan back to check the homestead, then destroy any and all of the portkeys that are out here. Then go home.Fuck even talking to him.
>>19985245Seconded.
>>19985256>>19985245>>19985239I will vote for these.
>>19985167Mentillate to Susan, and tell her to go on ahead and have our familiars and Jack do a security sweep.'Go home, right now. If he's here, there's no telling where she could be.'Then mentilate Mike.'Mike. My father is here. That should not be possible.'"Who are you, and my financial situation is of no concern to you."
>>19985224This, reinforcments!
>>19985245I've just gotten here, and was going to make yet another iteration of it.>>19985270This is also good to include.
>>19985245>impostor specifically has no right to call him family>implying his 'parents' doThat would be all kinds of retarded if that's what you actually meant.
>>19985294The real point is to refuse to acknowledge them as family, if as people at all.
Your father.One of the two people that you could admit to actually disliking.You've tried to forget about him and your mother after they abandoned you, and you were pretty much successful.The days at the Bureau made sure of that.But now, now that you hear his smug voice again, now that he's back.Emotions and memories come flooding back.The ice cream cone, the 200yen, the violin, the ring, the teddybear, the forest, the tuna-boat, the hardship, the disappointment, the betrayal, the sadness.All of these and more fill your head in a split second.Your worst fear has begun to come true.That fear of everything unraveling.That fear that all that you have now, this life, this happiness, these carefree days, are about to disappear.You don't believe this. You refuse to believe this.It's impossible for him to find you across Dimensions.But there was no denying it, that was his voice, there he was.
Scream for help. Everyone we know despises our parents.
>>19985331No, that won't solve anything and will make the situation worse.Teleport out, inform Mike of an unauthorized intruder, and have Bureau Security take care of the situation.
>>19985310Fear.Fear leads to anger.Anger leads to hate.Hate leads to the dark side.And thus, our metamorphosis into Negayate begins.
>>19985369But destroy the stamp first.
From what everyone's saidmentilate susan to port to the housePut familiars on high alertCall all allies for helpMentilate mike, tell him our father appeared. Ask WTF?tell the person our parents must be dead and he must be a fake
>>19985377Yes the plan, stick to the plan.Or start worshipping Khorne, he's a cool dude here.
>>19985377Seconded. Begin with mentillating Susan to port to the house, then mentillate Mike that our father is here.Then do all the rest.
Options run quickly through your head as you slowly turned around.You could send Susan home to check on the girls, if your father is here, then that person that calls herself your mother could not be far away.You could attack him, you have a veritable armory right there.You could also run away and ask for the Bureau's help.Cold sweat dripping from your face, you face the direction from which his voice came from.
>>19985377Calling out to our team is just a bad idea in general. Besides that it will take them time to get here, what are they going to do? Pummel the fucker?No, it's better to inform the security teams of a breach, and let them handle it.
>>19985370You say that like it's an indefinite.After what our parents have done, they deserve the hate of gods.And we can only really admit we definitely don't like them, not even specifically hate.
We can't do anything. Despair.Scream.
>>19985421This is NOT a situation to hold back, for Hayate.Mike would get the official forces on the move, but they would take longer than our own allies to get here.
>>19985426>>19985421Call Mike, see what he says.We give them nothing.One thing is for sure, hold back on our anger and fear.
Nothing.There's noone there.You look around, thinking that he might have just hidden himself, but fail to find him.Searching frantically, asking Kraus to run a scan of your surroundings, you look for that man.Kraus' scan comes up with nothing, you too fail to see him."Hey, what's wrong? Let's go back to the house, I'm starving."Your 'twin' asks.[ ]Didn't you see him?[ ]It's... nothing[ ]other
>>19985436Bullshit, we made a plan for that:>>19985377>>19985409
Other.Collapse, hug self, cry.
>>19985460[x]Didn't you see him?Susan shit all over again.
>>19985476You know what?I like this.
>>19985460>[ ]"Didn't you see him? Or hear him? I'd... I'd swear I heard our so-called father."
>>19985460"I just heard someone behind my back say I looked wealthy now, and also refer to me as 'son'. I am freaking out over the implications."
>>19985460Contact Director. Now.
>>19985460[X] Other...."Didn't you HEAR him?"Tell Susan we heard our dad's voice.
>>19985460[x]Didn't you see him?[x]otherMentilate Mike, ask how we can cut all legal ties with any blood relatives we have. And if there's anything he's got to detect dimensional tears.
>>19985460Should have known.[x] Other"Susan do you recall our first meeting? Like that but it was our father... I'm cold Susan... so cold..." Then collapse, were getting out of class at least.
>>19985476This actually works.
>>19985514Also this, we need to cut that possibility off before it can happen.
>>19985514>Mentilate Mike, ask how we can cut all legal ties with any blood relatives we haveDeffo.We'd thought about it, but never actually acted on it.
I just read all the archives over a week and a half. Looks like I picked a good time to finish.>>19985476I like this.
Biggest PTSD we've had.
>>19985567Oh dear. Time for a new trip?
son of the goddamnit.
>>19985167Allah Allah Jihad Jihad?
"Didn't you see him? Didn't you hear him?""Who?""Our father! He was here! He called out to me!" you tell her, unintentionally rising your voice."N-no... I didn't... Are you sure?""Yes. It was him. I'm sure i heard him."This has happened before for both of you, that time in the past when you bled into each other's timelines.She knows this and a grim look comes over her face mirroring yours."We must get home. Check on everyone."You grab her hand and activate your portkey.ROLLEM**>taking the 4th
rolled 50 = 50>>19985627
rolled 63 = 63>>19985589yeah, at some point, guess that's necessary now.>>19985627rollan
rolled 30 = 30>>19985627We really need to talk to the Director and the Doctor about this.
rolled 70 = 70>>19985627Welp
rolled 35 = 35>>19985627
contact director, talk about possible space time breach.
>>19985640>70Not good, but not bad.
>>19985627so if he's not here, consider the possibility he's actually talking to our brother?
Current To-do about this:Talk to Mike about legally disowning our parents from our part of the Ayasaki familyTalk to the director about security breachesWhen we talk to the director we should ask about records of previous breaches and the likelihood of one.
>>19985640Excellent.
Gather all the girls.Even the incoming orbitals.Get hugs for comfort.
>>19985695Have all familiars do a security sweep of the home, Jack is to prepare defenses around the teleportation ingress point.
i hope 70 is enough for him to appear but the girls keep him at gunpoint.
>>19985640The two of you arrive home in an instant.Abandoning your purchases by the front door, you run into the house looking for the girls.You find them at the table, eating and talking like they normally would."Welcome back. We got steak and potatoes." Erica says from her seat, half a baked potato stuffed in her maw."Are you two alright?" Hina asks as she notices how ragged you were."Are you all okay?" you ask in unison."Mmmn? yeah. Why, what's up?" Erica answers.GIRLS ARE OKAY.WAT DO?[ ]tell them about the encounter [how say?][ ]don't tell them
>>19985757I think I heard my father. Please keep me safe.
>>19985757Tell them in impossibly-perfect twin synchronization. Tears are optional.
>>19985757[ ]tell them about the encounter [how say?]Remember how I thought we were haunted but it was actually susan the whole time? I just heard my father and im terrified the same thing is happening again.
>>19985757"We'd just finished our shopping, when I- I heard my so-called father call out to me, mentioning how 'well to do' I was or something. Then he wasn't there when I turned to look. I... I guess I panicked, but I think I should talk to Mike, and maybe the director."
>>19985757[x]tell them about the encounter [how say?]"Hugs now talking later please."
>>19985767this, completely and utterly this.then go tell the doctor and the director, thats mighty bad juju.
>>19985757Half trues, all the way!Tell the someone was threatening to hurt them, that we believed could actually do it.Be evasive about who, they don't need to specifically know our father might be here yet.Basically generally don't get them in killy mode.
>>19985757[x]tell them about the encounter"I thought I heard my father's voice in town. It could be nothing, it could just be me hallucinating things. Or it could be another intersection of timelines, like what happened with Susan. Just...please be careful."And we really do need to talk with the Director.
>>19985757[X] Tell them about the encounter"As we were about to port home, I believe I heard my father's voice. Susan didn't hear anything though. Kraus did a scan but nothing turned up. It was just like before Susan turned up and I'm afraid the same thing might be happening again. I should probably talk to Mike and the Director about this very soon..."Start shaking like a leaf on a tree and maybe some tears at this point.
>>19985757[x] Tell themMY PARENTS MAY BE COMING HERE, I NEED HELP WHERE THE FUCK IS SHINJI FOR MY THERAPY>captcha: Returning esunaceHE'S EVEN INSIDE MY CAPTCHA OH GOD WHY
>>19985767I'm liking this. Their identical traumas should pull them into perfect sync on this.
>>19985767>>19985817Except Susan didn't hear him.
>implying you can`t replace instances of i with he or she
so did everybody die or are we waiting for LG still?
>>19986055Nah, we're just waiting.
>>19985757"I heard my father's voice in town. He called out to me.""He heard our father's voice in town. He called out to him."You say in unison."This could just be a hallucination, or it could be a repeat of what happened with Susan here..." you continue."I'm afraid. I... I think they could be coming back." You and Susan finish.The girls get up from their seats, everyone in the room knowing the horrible life you've had before coming to the Bureau, and gather around the two of you to comfort you.As five sets of arms encircle you in a hug, you tell them, "Everyone... please stay safe."-----------------------------------------------------------Minutes later, everyone back at the table, Ursula asks you what you would do about this possibility."I'm talking to Mike. I need to cut all ties with them legally.""Emancipation?""Yes.""And after that?" Hina asks"I'm going to add security measures to the house. Maybe find a way so that no one else but us and those we trust can get into the bottle. Maybe hide the bottle itself as well.""And after that?" Perrinne asks you."I'm talking to the Director or the head of security."You quickly finish eating, unable to eat much actually due to your building concerns, and get up from your seat at the same time that Susan does from hers."I'm off to talk to Mike.""I'm coming." she tells you.[ ]Okay[ ]No. stay here.
>>19986071>[ ]OkayThough the other is tempting.
>>19986071[x] OkayI'm sure there's some loophole they could take advantage of if we don't get Susan the same thing we do.
>>19986071"I know."
>>19986071[x]okay.She lived through the same hell we did.
>>19986071[x]Okay
>>19986071[x]okayCover every base. Plus, if we don't go with her, it might make the whole "you're a part of us" thing not work so well.
>>19986071[x]OkaySusan stays with us. She's as much us as we are.
>>19986097Fuck me this makes sense. Leave our Familiars though.
>>19986071[x]OkayShe deserves to come.And before we go, activate all familiars, and give them and Jack a quick briefing."Any person who says that they are are my parents, are to be detained, and Bureau Security contacted. They are not to be extended any of the considerations normally given even to worthy foes on the battlefield. They are not to be trusted, or taken lightly."
>>19986071OkaySusan needs to have the same done so that there isn't a loophole
>>19986152Seconded!
>>19986152this, exactly this.
"I know." you tell her.You let out your familiars, putting them in charge of guarding the house and the bottle outside.The Beetanians and Dan volunteer to stay in your dorm room to protect the bottle, Everyone else position themselves around the front door, right where any new arrivals would appear."No one goes in while we're away. Not anyone. If anyone introducing themselves as my parents present themselves, they are to be detained. If they resist, I leave you to take any measures necessary."Leaving the girls in the care of your friends, you and Susan head out of the house.WHERE GO?[ ]Mike[ ]Director[ ]Security[ ]other
[ X]DirectorDirector first. Then mike then security.
>>19986226MikeBrorilla will know what needs to be done first
>>19986226[X] Mike first. See about getting emancipated from our parents, same for Susan.Then[X] Director
>>19986226[x] MikeWe haven't ruled out that we were just hallucinating, but we need the emancipation to go through regardless.After that, the Director. Our situation doesn't seem like something Security would deal with regularly...
>>19986226[x]MikeHe'll know who to contact and what we should do in case of dimensional incursion or timeline intersection.
>>19986226[x]Mike[x]other, see if Sakura or Sosuke would mind guarding the dorm room door as well.
>>19986226Mike first. He's the most sympathetic person we know to our cause with power
>>19986244Yep, If we can get cut off right away this best suits us.
>>19986226go with mike then the director.she might be interested in the multitude amounts of dimensional breaches but emancipation is highest priority
We should also check our status.They used to sell our shit for money, what's going to stop them now that there's a house that's simply deeded to 'the Ayasaki family'?Which we should check on after we get emancipated and them disowned, to make sure they can't touch it.
>>19986261Souske is neck deep in trouble right now, Sakura shouldn't be subjected to meeting them, even if they are in our home.
>>19986310was just a suggestion. if we're going to be full on paranoid about this we might as well ask a few classmates to provide extra security.
>>19986287For that, I think we need to have Mike call down to the Bureau's Legal Department for some help.We'll owe them a favor, but I think it'll be worth it.
>>19986287Hayate's not a minor, any decision regarding the deed would need to go through him as well.
>>19986347bring gai and shirou then.gai is a bro and shirou is broish as well when he isn`t full retard.
>>19986358Actually he is only 16 so he is a minor
>>19986386That works perfect
We specifically said "all of our family is equal" and signed it to 'the Ayasaki family' so it wasn't only Hayate.Really, that's exactly what happened. What part of that would specify Hayate needing to be consulted?
>>19986427>the ayasaki familyohgodohgodohgod hayate's parents are gonna sell the bottle
>>19986447Not if we murder them
The two of you head to Mike, finding him at his usual smoking spot behind the academic Building.He sees you walk around the corner and says, "ah, and I was actually planning on calling for you two.""Why?" you ask, taken aback."well, I've yet to introduce myself to Susan here. She's my newest charge after all. But from what the Director has told me, introductions wont be necessary.""No Mike they won;t be." Susan tells him."So, what brings you to here?"You tell him quickly about the encounter in town and about how you want to be emancipated from those people."Emancipation huh?" he repeats your words as he scratches his chin*ROLLEM**>brb. food
rolled 16 = 16>>19986472
rolled 46 = 46>>19986472Save us Mike.
rolled 22 = 22>>19986472in during crit fail.
rolled 44 = 44>>19986472Mike, if you don't emancipate us, we're going to have to ask you to hide some bodies for us.
>>19986447that happens, odds are we exterminatus our home dimension for it.
rolled 59 = 59>>19986472
rolled 24 = 24>>19986472
rolled 29 = 29>>19986472In before 1.
rolled 28 = 28>>19986472The dice are going to screw us, aren't they?
rolled 36 = 36>>19986484this is not going very well.
rolled 24 = 24>>19986472I'll go ahead and roll.
rolled 48 = 48>>19986472
rolled 60 = 60>>19986472Dammit, don't fail us now, dice.
>>19986358>as wellAh, didn't register that at first.But the point still stands that Hayate is currently a minor, and his parents would CURRENTLY override him.We should still legally and othetwise separate our side of the family from theirs, just to be sure.
rolled 4 = 4>>19986500
rolled 47 = 47The most permanent form of emancipation is murder, but if nothing else ROLLIN FOR RULES LAWYERING!
rolled 54 = 54>>19986472MIKE WE'RE GOING TO BECOME ORPHANSHELP
rolled 100 = 100>>19986472And then i roll a 1
rolled 43 = 43Come on, let's at least beat an 80.
rolled 18 = 18>>19986472
rolled 36 = 36>>19986472Dice want Hayate's parents to make his life miserable again.
>>19986518"actually, I already killed your parents. shouldn't be a problem."
>>19986518You Glorious bastard I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!
rolled 99 = 99>>19986518HAH
>>19986518... slow clap.
rolled 18 = 18Give me liberty, or give my parents death!
>>19986518>>19986537Looks like we got this one.I'm willing to bet he's got the papers ready
then hayates parents are locked in the same room as naruto.
>>19986518So... the /tg/ dice are fueled by pessimism.
>>19986518Nice
>>19986518>>19986537"Actually, Hayate, the Emperor gave the Bureau this new toy, and, well... we exterminatus'd the entire universe you came from."
>>19986518Fritz I love you manYou will forever be my hero
>>19986518Well done, my friend.>>19986585Funny, but probably not.
>>19986585They better have records, or we'll have to be mad for Nanoha.Speaking of which, we should go through the sim archives and compile our best explosions for her.
>>19986585then hina is pissed, a-tan is dead and so are the people with her.
>>19986585Have you forgotten that Hina also comes from there, and actually has a good family, unlike us?
>>19986641A good adaptive family.She was also abandoned.
>>19986623Oh no, with a 100 and a 99 anybody of value would conveniently find themselves out of danger.
>>19986651Well, yes, of course. It's not like her biological forebears are part of her family, after all.
>>19986537>>19986518With a 99 and 100 do we get to retroactively stop being their child when we were born?
>>19986678With a 99 and a 100 they actually stole us from our birth parents at the hospital.
>>19986678No, that would wreck havok on the timeline.A 100 and 99 is probably easily emancipated and possible to completely disown them and disconnect from them.
So... should we go for a new last name then?
>>19986719Also legal help in redoing all legal contracts to completely shut them out, such as the deed to our home.
rolled 46 = 46By these dice I fuck up that 100!
>>19986743That's something we'd really need to talk and think about.Also, Jakob doesn't have a last name. We should offer him ours.
>>19986743No. Do two Smiths, who are not related to each other, have to change one of their last names?All we have to do is have the family registry show that we have legally disowned them.
>>19986774I really dont see that big a deal with just taking a new one, it pushes us further from our parents.I wonder if Mike has one...
You know what we need to do? We need to find our family grave, and bring up the spirits of our ancestors, and have them explain the shitstains that were our parents.
>>19986797Yes, it does distance ourselves even more, but as >>19986794 says, we don't NEED to change our name.A new name can be really hard to get used to, though.And think of all the paperwork needed for changing all the Ayasaki siblings documents.
>>19986834We would no doubt discover, to our horror, that being a shitstain is hereditary and every Ayasaki mutates into one on their twenty-third birthday.
>>19986854The way you say this makes it sound like our parents are closely related.Which I hope they're not.
>>19986854Either that, or we step into a massive family feud in the afterlife, with everyone blaming everyone else for Hayate's parents."I never should have let my daughter marry you, Ayasaki, this is all your fault!""How dare you blame my son for this, Tatsuyama! It's obviously your blood that muddied our bloodline!""Sorry, grandson. As you can see, things have...not been peaceful at all in the afterlife."
>>19986885Presumably after mutating into shitstains, the Ayasaki is compelled to seek a mate who is a fitting match for their new nature.
>>19986518"I knew you'd come for that someday..." he says as she takes a pull from his cigar."On this Dimension, and everywhere else except your own, your legal status is entirely pointless. Your Dimension's laws, do not take into account the existence of places outside it's sphere and thus, does not cover them. And as long as you're connected to the Bureau, any and all laws and regulations of any outside forces to don't apply to you. We take care of our own, you see."He lets out a nice large cloud and continues to talk"As for cutting ties with them in that Dimension, I said I knew you were gonna ask about this already, and I had Tama draw up the papers when he was here. All that needs to be done now is to sign them and to send them back to him.""How about Susan here?" you ask him."Technically, she doesn't exist in your home Dimension, and so laws there don't apply to her as well.""And our house and assets?""Your house? Did you pay for it using your badge?""Yes.""Then that thing is bound under Bureau laws. It's ownership is locked to whoever's badge/Device was used to pay for it. And since there's no way to forge the link that you and your Device share, it's impossible to change."He grins down at the two of you."Any other concerns?"
>>19986849>>19986797Were talking about a name from our parents, the only family that we have left. They abused and tortured Hayate for his entire life, literally leaving him homeless and making him no more than a piece of meat for the Yakuza to harvest.We shouldn't have any attachment to the name Ayasaki, to us it's nothing more that an association to those "people". I think it is well worth the effort.
>>19986915Give Mike a hug.
rolled 49 = 49"Is there any way I can sue them for child abuse/neglect?"
>>19986915What about Yakuza Ninjas? They can get in anywhere, and once they are they're impossible to get rid of, like cockroaches.
>>19986915"Thanks Mike. You have no idea how big of a load off our shoulders that it. Guess I owe you another one."But, the fact that there seems to be another timeline intersection is still kind of worrying. Should we tell the Director about it?"
>>19986915"Well, we were in town just now, and just before we ported home I... I heard my so-called father call out to me. About how I was looking well off. It was a lot like when I was running into Susan, before... whatever happened with her on her end happened."
>>19986915Where do you hide the bodies of people you kill? Even though they aren't legally able to claim anything I might decide to get rid of them to do the meta verse a favour
>>19986915"Nothing that you can help us with at the moment. Now its time to see the director about this. Thanks Mike."
>>19986915Screw it."How much would it take to get our last name changed from that of our horible parents?"
>>19986987I don't want to change our last name. It's ours, and we've bled and grown with it... met all our loves with it, too.
>>19986987SecondedIt's worth looking into even if we decide not to.
>>19986987Yeah, let's not.
>>19986915Tell him what we heard.
>>19986987I also don't want to change the name. I'd rather keep it, and it's still a connection to our older brother, wherever he may be.
>>19987004>>19986987NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!
>>19987000I only said ask how much of a bitch it would be to do. Just a question in case we want to later on.We don't have to do it right after asking or even at all.
>>19987014Canonwise we only met him once for about 20 minutes when we were six, and saw him for an instant in a simulation.As far as we know he just left us to suffer with our parents without a second thought.
>>19986915"Well, Mike. How hard would it be to change my last name?""Not very. Just a set of papers to be sent back to your home Dimension, and a quick edit of your records here. Why? Want to change it to Gigolo?" he chuckles."no, I just wanted to know how hard it would be if I wanted to change it.""Ah, well, if you do, just come talk to me... Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get ready for class.""Thanks Mike." you and Susan say in unison."No problem. By the way, I need the two of you and Hina to come to my office some time after dinner. We've not trained that much this week.""Of course Mike." again you say as one."The Dude is right... That can get creepy." he says as he walks away.WHERE GO NAO?>btw, J has a lastname, it's Whitzhase>Mike's full name is Miguel Rozario SantaCruz Y Cabrillo
>>19987105To the Director, if she's not busy.We need to make absolute certain that those things can't get to us here.At this point, I think actually going crazy would be preferable.
>>19987105Quick visit to the Director. If there's a real timeline intersection, she needs to be informed.
>>19987105Let's see if the director is available briefly.
>>19987105Woo clone upgrade time
>>19987156Finally. This 2min every hour limitation is really ridiculous.
>>19987105That's 3 of 5 familiars with last names. Do Raul and Daniil have ones? I'm keeping track for some unknown reason.And ON, TO THE DIRECTOR.
>>19987105As you and Susan walk across the quad heading towards the Director's office, she asks,"Do you really want to change your name?""Well, I'm not sure really. But if it's needed in the future, I guess i would.""Just like that?""Just like that." you tell her.-----------------------------------------------------------You arrive at the Director's office with Kyon letting you in to see her."Do you require anything?" she asks."Ma'am we're concerned that there may be some sort of bleed across timelines again.""Explain."You tell her about the encounter in town and how you suspect it's the same as your previous encounters with Susan."Possibly. I shall consult with the Doctor on this. Anything else?"WHAT ELSE TO SAY?
"Is it cool if Susan makes out with your duplicate, because lesbians that's why."
>>19987217"If I murder my parents here, would there be any legal repercussions?"
>>19987217Nothing else right now.Now let's hurry back to class.
>>19987217"No, I don't think so... Well, actually..." then >>19987240 with an unconvincing laugh.
>>19987259That's perfect right there.
>>19987240It wouldn't be murder. They're not even people, it would be legitimate self defense, fuck off dimensional shenanigans: take your pick, they'll all probably work.
>"Just like that?"Well that's just great. Susan is probably now considering having her memories wiped and being returned to our home Dimension because of this.
>>19987217Ask her how she is!Because why not? And it doesn't hurt to converse with The Boss.Also, I'm sure there's something more urgent that I can't think of.Maybe ask if her power is only based on the bueuro database or if she has her own powers.
>>19987279How would you make that jump?
>>19987302She's still working through the fact that she's lost everything that she had. She's been ejected from her own timeline, and brought here.And while she hasn't yet solidified her sense of home being with these alternative versions of everyone she's known, here comes the idea of simply changing your name and cutting yourself from your past. Mix it with the Bureau's memory altering technology, and here's a chance for her to forget everything, forget the pain of losing everything, and give herself a new life.
>>19987331Doubt it.Mike has mentioned memory wipes aren't always perfect and if Susan went back home her life would turn back into pre recruitment levels which was magnitudes worse than it is now
>>19987331I disagree with that though then, maybe a mindwipe and a fresh start at the bureau, but I can't see her going back. There's less in our home dimension for her then at the bureau.
Well I'm fucking tired.Night MSQ, don't get us killed. Or worse.
>>19987240I really don't this should be asked. It may cause the Director to re-evaluate her opinion of Hayate.
>>19987413HUE is part of proceedingsWorse is something we will avoid
>>19987435If they pop up we will kill them, so personally i'd rather her know ahead of time.
"If I killed people here, would there be legal repercussions for me?" you ask jokingly"Self defense? Pre-planned?" she asks seriously."Err... That was a joke ma'am. Anyway, thank you for your time." you and Susan excuse yourselves and head back to class.------------------------------------------------------------That afternoon's lesson's were another simulation.The mission, a simple rescue one was easy enough.You just had to put up your invisibility, have a clone run some decoy and fly off with the two hostages.------------------------------------------------------After class, while walking home with the girls, Erica tells you about something she worked on while you were talking to Mike earlier.Rollem.1-30 about that certain mission...31-60 she talked to Gulliver61-90 she talked to the security forces91-100 rollers choice [what did she do?]
rolled 13 = 13>>19987459Talked to guliver and the security forces.
rolled 84 = 84>>19987459She went and got some 'toys' from Slaanesh's for tonight.
rolled 37 = 37>>19987459Chailgun turrets borrowed from R&D
rolled 64 = 64>>19987459>rollers choice>about that certain mission...
rolled 100 = 100Im going to roll an pray I don't get roller's choice.
rolled 8 = 8Lol forgot to say which roll I'd take>picking number
rolled 40 = 40>>19987530...Well you did.
>>19987530Oh Dicegods you are pricks.... >>19987497 then.
rolled 36 = 36>>199875378th eh?
rolled 14 = 14>>19987459Erica got a full 3-D holo of Hayate and Susan from a certain night from a certain sim.
rolled 22 = 22>>19987459OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HEREI AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER
>>19987564I think Erica is talking about the sim with Keima
>>19987600We'll find out.
With our luck, probably both.But, with our swag, This will end up being a good thing.
>>19987497>>19987530WELLPTHAT'S A THING.
>>19987701I'd say it's more likely about the Cannonball Run sim, simply because Erica would want to emulate Haruhi and have herself a Hayate Bed.
>>19987720Pay attention, he neglected to say which he was gonna take, so he rolled for it in >>19987537 which resulted in >>19987564 being selected.
>>19987564"You know, while you were out earlier... I showed the girls a nice pair of clips I got from the archives.""Err... what exactly?"She makes the motions of a steering wheel and you and Susan instantly realize what she's talking about."It's... not like that!" the two of you say at the same time..."Reeeeeally now?"Luckily for you, a commotion on the grounds distracts you.You see your class' two guests wailing on a prone Sousuke with a pair of harisen.Erica snickers as she sees this, while Hina looks disturbed.Your twin, Susan just watches in morbid curiosity.You walk over to them to intervene.
"Good afternoon ladies. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is all this commotion about?"They stop in mid-swing and turn to you, panting due to exertion."This idiot cares more about his magazine subscriptions than he does for us, his gi-... friends."The green haired one, Kaname tells you before giving the prone boy another good hit."I see...""This may have been nothing more than an attempt at humor by Sousuke." you tell the two."Maybe you misunderstood his joke. Isn't that right Sousuke?"The boy, deeply unconscious, was in no way fit to give you a reply.So, using two of you myriad of skills, those of ventriloquism and voic mimicry, you answer for him."Affirmative, it was a joke." you say as you fake Sousuke's voice and throw it.The two finally put down their fans and look down on the prone boy.Hoping that that have indeed been stopped, you give the ma few parting words."If he needs medical attention, the infirmary is that square building there." you say as you point towards the medical wing."Hey, teacakes. You still got "that thing" to do." Erica calls out from behind you coyly."Ah yes, Well ladies, If you would excuse me, I have other matters to attend to. Good afternoon."You walk back to the girls where Erica and Hina take your hands and you walk off to do "that thing".Unknown to you, those two girls saw your girlfriends take your hands and followed you right after bidding Sosuke's gun-girls to take him back to his bunker.--------------------------------------------Back in the bottle a few moments later, as you and Susan fear what Erica might do with the information she had now, J contacts you mentally.'Sir, you have guests at your door.'WAT DO?[ ]see who it is[ ]let them in[ ]send them away
>>19987785Time to see if I got over my mad at this or not.
>>19987822See who it is
>>19987822[x]see who it isIt's likely legit guests if J is contacting us about it.We gave explicit instructions about our parents, after all.
>>19987822[ X]see who it is. Can't be too careful.
>>19987822[x]see who it isWhile invisible.
>>19987822[x]see who it is
>>19987822[x] See who it isFUCK IT'S OUR PARENTS
[x]see who it isSometimes it's nice to meet our guests at the door.
>>19987822See who it is and then invite Tessa and Chidori in so that we can explain things so that they go share Sousuke
>>19987888Sshhh. We're not supposed to know it's them yet.
>>19987822"I'll be right out J." you answer him as you slip away from Erica who was dragging you and Susan to your bedroom."Sorry, but I have something to see to." you tell her as you leave Susan in her mercy.-------------------------------------------------------You jump out of the bottle and into your room.Reaching into your pocket and grasping the handles of some knives, you answer the door with J, Dan and The Beetanian behind you."Who is it?" you ask as someone continues to knock on the door."Excuse us, but this is Tessa and Chidori, Can we come in?"[ ]let them in[ ]nope
>>19987896[x]Ask why?
>>19987896>[ ]let them in
>>19987896[x]let them in
>>19987896Just open the door a crack a tad and see if it really is them.but if it is them [ ]let them in
>>19987896[x] let them inThis is gonna need a gift pack like what we got that robot pilot guy, isn't it.
>>19987896>[ ]let them in"Sure, what can I do for you, ladies?"
>>19987896[x]let them inAnd prepare some tea and scones.
We should give them the same advice as Sousuke:WHEN IN DOUBT KRAUS IT UP!The only ending this can have is hilarious.
You confirm their identities via the door's peephole and let them in."So what can I do for you ladies?" you ask them"Err... Uhhh.. What was you name again?" Chidori asks nervously."I'm Hayate.""Ah. Hayate-kun... .Anyway, we were wondering..." she and Tessa look around the room."Wait, where are those three you were with?""The girls? Ah, yes. Well, they're at the house.""The house? But we follow-.. I mean we saw you go in here.""Well, the house is right there." you nod towards the bottle that was on the coffee table."Would you like to talk to them?""Y-yes please." they answer as one.You show them how to jump into the house and the three of you head to inside.**rollem**>taking the 5th
rolled 59 = 59>>19987998We should just write a harem management book/pamphlet and leave a stack outside our door. It would save a lot of time. I figure.
rolled 62 = 62Don't know what I'm rolling for, but it will probably suck.
>>19988012That's actually a really good idea.
rolled 31 = 31>>19987998Whoop
rolled 12 = 12>>19987998Erica is busy molesting Susan because she is teasing her over the whole getting close while driving bitSpeaking of which we still have to dress up as a slutty maid for Erica iirc
rolled 27 = 27>>19987998Oh boy.>>19988012Don't we have a book? Can't we just make copies of it.
rolled 31 = 31>>19987998See what I get this time.
rolled 88 = 88>>19988038That was from the library, wasn't it? In any case the main point is to make the information available to anyone who comes looking for advice so that we don't have to keep giving it ourselves.
rolled 29 = 29>>199880125 Things you need to know to start a haremcomes with a Kraus chat-bot instead of a FAQ section.
>>19988037No, we won, we have to get Erica in the conservative maid outfit.
>>19988067Nah we picked her up a slutty maid outfit but we told her we would wear one for her anyway
>>19988038You arrive at the bottle just in time to see a topless Susan run out of the front door."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!" she screams as she runs right into you.*wham*The two of you end up in a tangled heap on the ground."your hand..." Susan says as she tries to get up."Yeah?" you ask her while your right hand cups something fleshy and soft."Move it..."you do as she requests and you make three squeezing motions in succession."..." knocks your hand away with a glare and stands up.You also get on your feet and offer her your jacket which she accepts."Nishishi.." Erica, the girl who's fault that was laughs by the door. "That didn't go as planned, but I'll take it... Oh hey, guests!"She notices the two that jumped in with you."Erica, I think Miss Chidori and Miss Tessa want to talk to you and the girls. How about we have some tea in the garden?"
>>19988146Actually, this is a good thing. Tessa and Chidori get to see girls dealing with WACKY MISUNDERSTANDINGS without beating the shit out of the nearest guy.
>>19988163A fine point.
At a table Kraus has materialized for you in the garden, you serve the five girls, Susan, Erica, Hina, Chidori and Tessa, tea."I see you have some questions for us..." Erica says as looks at your guests, "but first..."She turns to you, "Did you do it again?""Nope." you answer honestly, knowing what that simple question entailed."Okay then..." She turnes back to Tessa and Chidori "Anyway, I think I have an idea what your questions would be, but just to be sure, what are they?"The two look at you and the girls unsure how they'd handle this situation.Tessa, trained in negotiations, decides to step up and ask the question that had been bugging them"This may seem weird, but we would like to confirm something. Are you all together?"Erica nods. "Yes. Basically.""All four of you?!" Chidori asks her."Well... and more..." she grins.**ROLL for erica giving a not so bad explanation.**>taking 3rd
rolled 63 = 63>>19988212Troll queen gonna troll
rolled 70 = 70>>19988212It's going to be bad isn't it.
rolled 21 = 21>>19988212"Yes we are all togeather and we sleep in one giant pile togeather. Including the odd guest.
rolled 32 = 32>>19988212dis gon be good
>>19988226JOY OF JOYSBRACE FOR PEDO BASHING
>>19988226Oh, bother.
>>19988226>>19988235Quick distract them with a funny story!
>>19988212"More?""Yeah. There's the three of us." she motions at herself and the two others, to which Susan makes a cross motion with her arms."Then there's my twin Ursula - a researcher down in R&D, Perrinne - a comrade from my home Dimension and a trainee in basics class, Nanoha - she's in the field right now.""..." the two are stunned and look at you, you just give them an awkward smile as you stood to one side."We all sleep in a giant pile together in the main bedroom, as well as some random guests here and there... All of which I think will be added to the family in-time.""How... How do you do it?" Tessa asks."Sharing." Hina answers her. "We share him between all of us.""And... doesn't it get difficult?""It has it's moments... But I'd say it's worth it." Erica says to which Hina nods."And... Who's the legal wife?" Chidori asks her."He is." Erica answers with a smirk and a thumb pointed back at you."Unbelievable..""That's crazy.." the two comment."Heh. It's crazy enough that it works if you ask me." Erica tells them as she reaches for her third scone."You, Hayate, What do you feel about this... arrangement?"WAT SAY?
>>19988287"I wouldn't give it up for anything."
>>19988287just smile and nod
>>19988287It's the best thing that ever happened to me.
>>19988287It's pretty fuckin' great yo
>>19988297>>19988303Both of these.
>>19988287additional to any well written answer,"i have never been happier"and that is the point where everything goes to shit, just like one of my Japanese anime.
Word that shit right you fucks, Susan is right there.
>>19988332Thats why I say smile and nod
>>19988310Agreed there
>>19988287Approach the table, say, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I've never been happier, and I wouldn't give it up for anything." Give Susan's shoulder a comforting squeeze, knowing what she was forced to give up.
>>19988302I'm going with this one. Better keep his mouth shut in times like this.
>>19988354To combine some, with a little action thrown in.
>>19988354Im shall go with thisPoor Susan... doesn't acknowledge she's caught in the Swag's event horizon.
>>19988287"Before I came to the Bureau, I had nothing. Everything I had ever earned, everything I'd worked for, those people that called themselves my parents had taken from me.Now I have a real family, one that doesn't take anything from me except my love, which I give freely, and in return gives me more happiness than I had ever though possible."
>>19988381>Everything I had ever earned, everything I'd worked for, those people that called themselves my parents had taken from me.Remove this part and it'd be fine. Though we think that... we think that so hard...
>>19988381This is good, but I think it's more than necessary for the current scene.>>19988391That could work.
>>19988380She knows she just hasn't come to terms with it yet
>>19988391>>19988407I think just saying 'ITS DA BESTEST THING EVER!!!2' without any background would give them a slightly false impression.The entire setup is built on how deeply we value the true ideal of 'family', rather than that sham we had to live with for so long.
rolled 33 = 33I came for the bitches.
>>19988437I bet Mike's going to come and tell them we said that...
>>19988423A fine argument, sir.
rolled 46 = 46>>19988437>>19988451Well, we DID(Rolling to say so, jokingly of course)
"It's the best thing that ever happened to us." you tell them with a smile. "I wouldn't give it up for anything.""I... I see.. Did you arrange for all this?""No. The girls did." you tell them"...Interesting." Tessa and Chidori say at the same time.The impromptu tea party continued a bit longer after that, with Ursula coming home with Perrinne and Yuki at her side and joining in after some introductions.As you waited on the girls with the assistance of Jakob, the conversations moves away from the unusual structure of your family to more simpler subjects."So, you two here as recruits?" Ursula asks them"Possibly. That's what my superiors are trying to work out with the Bureau right now." Tessa answers."And you said something about being Whistlers, what's that?" "It's Whispered. We're gifted with the ability to understand, build and design Black Technology..."At around sunset, during a quick tour of the house, the two excuse themselves and thank you and the girls for your hospitality.You think you know what's going to happen next and make a mental note to give Sagara a package much like you left Ichika."Sagara is screwed." Erica grins as you walk down the beach."He's a very lucky man." Ursula tells her twin."So am I." you finish this by wrapping your arms around your family.As you watched the sun set into the sea, one that was basically a projection of the real one outside, you sigh in contentment.This perfect moment reminds you a line from the poem you learned while you were in that church so long ago."God's in his heaven, all's right in the world." you mutter to yourself.Little did you know that this short moment of peace would not last.
>>19988456>"God's in his heaven, all's right in the world."ALART
>>19988456>Little did you know that this short moment of peace would not last.Never does.
>>19988456PLOT'S HERE!
...AND the thread ends.
>>19988456SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT
>>19988456Oh you fucking troll.
rolled 52 = 52>>19988456>Little did you know that this short moment of peace would not last.FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU
>>19988456As you held them there, you decide to ask Erica about something that's bugging you."So... What was that with you and Susan earlier?""That? Oh.. well it's like this." She grabs the blue haired girl and gives her a passionate kiss."heh. Lesbians." you and Hina mutter at the same moment before your brain freezes. The sun has set, the ever present breeze blew across the sands.That long, long night has only just begun.
NEXT TIME ON MSQ:RAD ALARTNew thread at 2200 4chan time>Manic Sousuke later at 0800
>>19988496Lesbians, they're like our kryptonite. Our hot, sexy kryptonite,Mmmm...Lesbians
>>19988507>>19988456What's that drug from code geass? Refrain? If we are going to fight Negayate or some future us we need to get some of that and load it into some needle bullet.I think the assumption is they are us but suffered through losing everything or someone. So make them relive it.
>>19988496>"heh. Lesbians." you and Hina mutter >HinaHaha... She's Bisexual now.
>>19988523>nowYou're a bit slow.
>>19988523No, she was a Bi earlier in the other timeline.But she only just showed them tendencies in ours
>>19988496Hehe lesbians beat Hina too?Or are all the girls sitting there going heh lesbians?
Ah crap. Don't forget that we need to go to Mike's after dinner for some more training.
