(( http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Holy%20Grail%20War%20Quest For previous threads.IRC is #HGWSeattle @ Rizon. Twitter is https://twitter.com/HowDoIShotTrip ))You are Legion (Nicknamed by yourself as Bob), familiar to Luke Morcai. Your Master is capable of powerful but time-consuming Circle Magic, which can replicate many spells but requires a great deal of preparation and time, And of the magic he has decided to term Theft. Theft allows Luke to steal anything, so long as it is possible in a physical matter with his hands. You are both embroiled in the Great Grail War, which is a Holy Grail War with four sets of servants.Your Servant is Astolpho, knight of Charlamagne, Rider Class. Stat page here: pastebin.com/qJw29xd7LAST TIME:A MEETING TO DISCUSS THE END OF THE WORLD.A STANDOFF WITH THE GREATEST MAGE WHO EVER LIVED AND EVER WILL.HINTS OF CONSPIRACY AND PARANOIA.AND A KISS.THE STORY CONTINUES...NOW.
Master you must danceI dont give a fuck what is happening you must dance
>>20222944I wake up to find Astolfo atop me. He fidgets in his sleep. There's a blanket atop us, and I look around to find Arry has awoken, and is staring at us. "Rider's a guy, isn't he." she says evenly, with that same thousand-mile stare as usual. "And that means you're gay."
>>20222991Oh no she fucking didn't
>>20222991"Bisexual actually."
>>20222991"Bisexual, i like Joanne too."
>>20223023"Bisexual." I correct her, quietly. I don't want to wake up Astolfo. He's... really cute, when he's asleep. Especially the way he keeps trying to get closer to me. "There should be some leftovers of the casserole in the fridge, can you heat them up for me?" She nods quietly, walking into the kitchen. In a few moments the microwave is running. So what do I want to do with myself today? There's a lot to keep track of...
Learn how to dance
>>20223077See if you can arrange a meeting with Merlin?If he is against the world ending, I can't really imagine anyone better suited for stopping it.
>>20223077Good morning, Master. I would suggest that you get together with Jeanne; I would like further clarification as to the mechanics of this war. Specifically, what will the Rulers be forced to do if there is no death within the next week. Also, I would like to know exactly how the Grail will trigger the end of the world. Does it require a wish, or will it simply activate on it's own?
I think we should be looking into White Caster today. Merlin can wait, let him stew a bit longer. I know we have some theories about why he's wrecking buildings, but we need to know more.I agree we should talk to Jeanne first though. We've got to clarify some things. Furthermore, we should check in to see if any other Servants have died. It's been 5 days since Ganondorf took down the last servant, so we're on a shot clock to make sure another one bites it before Jeanne and the rest are forced to... do something bad I'm guessing.Click on the news and see whats going on first though. And then thank Arry for putting in so much effort with Red Caster yesterday, even if he ended up just playing us all for suckers.
>>20223240>>20223341>Call up/Meet JeanneI give Jeanne a call - she has a cell phone. The soft sound of her waking voice make me smile. "Sorry - I didn't mean to wake you." "No, it is fine. What did you want to ask?" "...How'd you sleep?" "I slept fine, thank you." she almost sounds as if she's laughing. "And you?" "As well as can be expected." I says, carefully slipping out from under Astolfo. "You mentioned a week without kills would bring action. What would that be?""An enforced battle, between two random Servants." "...You can't be serious.""I am. The Grail gives us the capability to draw them together. We do not allow them to vacate without one or the other being dead." "...That's rather extreme.""I agree. But it is necessary." she says, though the tone of that word implies that it only refers to the Grail itself.>Contact Merlin Any plans for what to say?>Seek White CasterHow do I go about this?
Whatever you do, make sure to have Slenderman watch your back
>>20223435Wow, the Rulers have MORTAL KOMBAT duty. Harsh.Make sure you confirm no other servants (or masters) have gone down.>How do I go about this?First things first, turn on the news and see if anything else has happened. If another building got taken down, we'll have fresh clues.If not, did we save that machine that was left behind at the last building? If it was something he made out of mundane components rather than mana or as part of a Noble Phantasm, we might be able to trace their purchase.Granted, thats a giant stretch, so lets hope we have fresh clues.
>>20223474Hilarious>>20223435We still have the tremor machine?Can't we analyze it to find the user or something?
>>20223435I think I might have missed this, but why did the Grail choose Jeanne to be one of its Rulers, if not only does she not approve of its purpose, but she also has enough independence to warn the competitors and help them seek to reprogram it?It doesn't seem like a very well thought out plan.
>>20223510Well, its impossible to say for sure without a better understanding of this grail's structure, but assuming it uses as its central core of the Greater Grail is a mage that can use the Third Magic, like the original, and assuming Rulers are summoned by the same ritual as every other servant, it means that Jeanne was summoned because she in some way is a personality "match" for whoever is sitting the middle of that mess.In fact, it would probably not be a stretch to assume that each of the four Rulers reflects the Core's personality in some aspect. Assuming all the above is correct of course.
"Has anyone been defeated?" "There were altercations between several parties, but no deaths."I'll let you go, then.""I hope we speak again." she replies, before I hang up and finish my meal. I pull from my pocket the tremor machine, and place it on the table. Small dials, buttons and the like sit on its surface - but when I open it with care...There's nothing inside. No mechanisms, no power source, nothing - but a sharp taste of spent Prana. A lot of it. I frown, and close it up again in thought as I turn on the television. - Ganon is speeding construction of his mansion by any means possible, paying for an absurd amount of workers and materials. - No buildings have fallen lately. - It appears the gang violence has ended.- Several dead bodies were found literally torn apart in an alley. - A simply enourmous pileup of cars was discovered near the docks. At least ten cars. No one is sure how it happened. Also missing was anything in the area that wasn't nailed down - tables, chairs, even loose pavement. There was evidence of explosives used. Fear of terrorists is mentioned. - Several couples proposed at the same time in the Space Needle. While not absurd, it was unplanned. - Finally, several nearly-complete dinosaur skeletons have gone missing from the museum.
>>20223719Well that's absolutely wonderful, we're going to have Dinosaurs attacking us. They might be undead ones. Green Caster might be Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden.
>>20223719>Several Dinosaur Skeletons.Hmm...Dresden?
>>20223719Ask Arry if there's anything she can tell you about the Prana in the machine. Lets keep her engaged, feeling like part of the team.I think investigating those stacked up cars at the harbor and the bodies in the alley are probably the most important, those seem like events creating immediate danger.I hate to ignore those Dinosaur Skeletons, as that seems like a danger, but we need to deal with the immediate issues first rather than potential issues.Also, keep your eyes peeled for Blue Rider, he's going to want that duel.
Hmm...the pile up makes me think a Rider was involved.The Space Needle proposal incident is oddly reminiscent of Merlin's last threat towards us. He's either there or pointing us in that direction.Shredded bodies means Berserker. Is Rider up to checking that out, even if it means running into Roland?Goddammit, Ganon's racing to finish his workshop. Who wants to bet that he's got a secret NP that fortifies his workshop into a castle/death trap?Dinosaurs means Dresden. Quick, conjure by his name! He mentions in Storm Front that you do so at your own risk. Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden (x3).Anything else we need to think about?
We might want to talk to Merlin about why he decided to help arturia, if possible explain that a ruler would be willing to aid us (we can sever her connection with the grail and take her as a servant but only if we find a way to increase our magical circuits). If anyone knows any rituals that would give or expand lukes magic circuits without violently tearing the out of someone Merlin would know.We need to talk to Arry a bit more too see if she'll open up about her past. Night want to ask if she was interested in us too (her mental state could cause some bad stuff if she thought she was rejected). Postan frum werk
If we run into rose and gene again we need to tell them that it's only a few days till rulers force a fight. To delay that we should try to get genes help to eliminate ganon
>>20224028I don't know, Ganondorf has insane amounts of power, and while he does want to rule the world, he doesn't want to end it.Removing him too soon might be a bad move.
>>20224028We shouldn't eliminate Ganon unless we have to. We have a sort of ersatz alliance with him for now. Yeah, he has his eyes on Jeanne, but we might need him to fix this grail thing.I'm not saying we trust him or get all buddy buddy, but we shouldn't eliminate him unless its necessary.
>>20223719>>20223987Forgot to mention, the "everything not nailed down" means Carmen was involved in the altercation with the cars. Write a note explaining we'd like her help in stopping Sillyman and preventing the end of the world, then pocket it. She's also got the Theft Origin, doesn't she? Except maybe it's her Element too, like how captain failure has dual Sword. She might be willing to help us with stealing the things that matter to Master: Ruler and a second chance.
So how can Astolfo use items like La Red Romance?
For some reason, when attempting to post the latest update, EGO was automatically banned from all 4chan boards.The ban message claimed that he posted a banned URL in his update, but there were no URLs, so we're still unsure of what happened.There will be a delay while we attempt to sort this out.
>>20224125Command Spells.
>>20224267What are chances that fairies are better at magic than grail?
>>20224304High. Very high.
>>20224488I vote for that we will fuck this war and destroy grail with La Red Romance
>>20224655La Red Romance only has the power to break Enchantment spells. These generally include things like buffing spells (like Reinforcement for instance), hypnotism and other types of illusions, bounded fields, or magically forged weapons.It would not apply to the Holy Grail, it's not really an object per se, even though it has a physical form. Its a complex ritual ceremony being channeled through the physical vessel of the greater grail, with a lot of working parts. Red Romance can't destroy it.
>finally home from work>reading through what I've missed>>20224080Agreed. Ganondorf is on our side for now. I have no doubt he will betray us when he considers Master, Arry, and their Servants to be of no further use to him.That's why we need to try to persuade Brawler to join our alliance. He's a bro so I doubt it will be hard. His Master on the other hand is a huffy bitch, so getting her to join may be the hard part.
http://pastebin.com/KSKD3c3ePosting the post that banned EGO(and two more people).God knows what was wrong with it, but there it go
>>202265264chan is retarded like that sometimes.
>>20226526Oh cool, we have Arry consistently going outside with us. That's an improvement.
>>20226526Fuck! See if Rider can sense the presence of that Servant while he drives. Switch places with him and take the wheel if you have to, Master. You can't outrun a helicopter but you could probably outmaneuver it. Don't let it drop that rock on you!Maybe have Arry call Slim Jim here to back up Rider.
>>20226687I don't like that idea.The way I see it is the less deaths there are the better, since there's always a chance that a Servant will have the chance to save the world.And everything I've ever heard about Slim Jim says that he doesn't play nice.
Blue rider isn't anything terribly special and he overall contributes nothing amazing to the war. It is safe to kill him, I'd rather remove ganon because a lot of you people are making the mistake of thinking his goals coincide with ours and that he actually gives a damn about the world, but blue rider is safe to fight and eliminate. It won't be easy without astolpho summoning his flying mount though, I say go for it.
>>20226601We know that it autodetected something and that it's all one day bans, mods won't change anything or allow an appeal though because of short duration.
Call me Ego ProxyOr don't, whatever.UPDATE: http://pastebin.com/W8SMWrLB
No fucking shit dickweed, we haven't had a turn yet! Fucking Double Strike and Haste. Rider, waste the wastrel, let's buy ourselves a week.
>>20227231I agree, this guy doesn't seem to be of much use.Also who is this other Rider?
>>20227260Blue rider. Summoning the hippogriff may be a bad idea, we could either blow the horn. Oooooor we could try and burn a command seal to give adtolpho's horse the temporary ability to fly (or at least jump high enough to smash the ornithopter).
>>20227184>Blue Rider with a helicopterI fucking knew it! Sic Astie on him, Master. I don't know if Arry knows first aid or not, but see what she can do about your foot.Have Arry get Slim Jim over here to find Blue Rider's Master and eliminate him! Slim Jim is Assassin-class and killing Masters is what he does best.
>>20227317It's not a helicopter. It's just a flying machine.
>>20227184Why would Master even think of using that Hippogryph? It would fucking cripple us for the rest of the war.Speaking of cripple, Jesus, we just lost an entire foot.We're totally immobile for the moment, and he's deadlocked on killing us rather than fighting Astolfo. Some god damn duel.We're out in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing Astolfo can use to get altitude even with his best Horse. The Giant can't reach, and if we can't summon the Hippogryph, we can't summon him.The way I see it, we have two options. 1) We pull a Heaven's Feel and use a command spell to send Astolfo flying at the Helicopter. Blue Rider might dodge, Astolfo might miss, but that seems unlikely, especially with our Luck Rank. Once he's up there, he should be able to bring the chopper down, and if its a really extreme circumstance, we could burn a second seal to power up our Lance, and forceably separate Rider from the chopper, seal his riding skill, and due a ton of damage in one shot.This plan is risky, might not work, and forces us to use a lot of our resources.Of course, our only other option is probably even more dangerous:2) Have Arry burn a command seal and order Mr. Slim to attack and, presumably, instantly kill Blue Rider. He should instantly teleport here from wherever he is and with BR stuck in that cockpit, he has no way to avoid the attack.This has a lot of obvious risks to our sanity and the general danger of him being around. Plus, he has to actually be in thie world for us to do it, and he might not be. Check Arry's seals.
>>20227363Astolpho could conceivably fashion a temporary flying mount out of inatimate matter. Looking at his stat page now and nothing says he can't. It would also prevent us from burning a command seal
>>20227363>Command Spell to send Astie flying at Blue RiderI agree.>Sic Slim Jim on Blue RiderDisagree. I think Astie can handle Blue Rider if he destroys that flying machine and force BR to ground. Slim Jim is an Assassin: weak in combat against other Servants, but murder on Masters.Master believes BR's Master is nearby; Slim Jim should concentrate on taking HIM out first and then back up Astie if needed.
>It's fucking on, fellow Bobshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTcPaBt_pFA
>>20227428Skinny is no normal Assassin, which is why we've been so concerned about him. We don't even know for sure he CAN be hurt. More importantly, all he has to do is reach melee range, and touch you, and you're gone. Nothing about his stats suggested it was limited to humans rather than Servants.Besides, Blue Rider is inside a cockpit. He has nowhere to run, no weapons to fight, and no way to avoid if we send Skinny right up inside there with him. One touch, and POOF.There will probably never be a better time to use Mr. Slim against a Servant. Or a time where we need him more.ALL THAT BEING SAID, I think Rider making a flying mount and attacking from the air is our best bet resource wise. I'm just not sure we have the TIME for it. We're about 2 seconds away from being squished by a boulder.
>>20227631And if Mr. Slim -can't- just candlejack a Servant, and -can- be injured...Then that would be very good to know.
>>20227631Skinnyguy can't fly. Blue rider can.
>>20227660He can't fly, but he doesn't have to. Command Spells can teleport servants from point to point. Including from where ever The Great Slendini is now to right inside the cockpit with Blue Rider.
Upderphttp://pastebin.com/95VSJcrV
>>20227660He can't?I figured Blue Rider would just look next to him and Beanpole would just be right there in the cockpit.
>>20227631>>20227646>>20227660All right, I'll change my vote...IF Arry can burn a Command Spell to summon Slim Jim right on the machine. SJ gets one shot at Blue Rider at most; if it doesn't work, Arry should sic him on BR's Master.
>>20227706Try not to pass out master, as that would be most unseemly.
>>20227706Ouch....that's gonna hurt. Try to stay conscious, Master. Since nobody can heal, they can get you patched up at the hospital after the fight's over.Once Arry finishes playing Florence Nightingale, we need Slim Jim here...now...to take out Blue Rider's Master.
>>20227706"gaiar", huge boulder, flying machine.Master we know who blue rider is. He is the gaiar from a very little known game called hammerfight.
>>20227825So this Rider's master is a hipster?
>>20227880Probably."OOH, I'LL SUMMON THIS OBSCURE DUDE, NO ONE WILL EVER GUESS HIM, HURR!"Master, we're still at a disadvantage flying a crafted mount against a Noble Phantasm mount. I think we need to use a command spell and activate Gold Radamanto's Lancer ability.Forced seperation from the ship, sealed Riding skill, and a whole heap of damage if this guy has A or above in the skill. It's the Anti-Rider weapon.Unless his character sheet shows us something that would make that a bad idea, I think it's our best option to end this in one shot without the risk of calling in Barbados Slim.
>>20227916Add our own NP mount, then. For maximum Riding.
>>20227880Whoever Blue Rider's Master is, he's gonna die screaming when he gets a load of [b] SLIM JIM OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE [/b].
Update from EGO!http://pastebin.com/Zje7ifkX
>>20228259Immunity to fear thanks to Battle Continuation. Good thing we didn't bother with our horn.Also, fuck, his riding skill is only C. The Lance won't kill him in one shot, and sealing Riding skill probably doesn't disable his ability to fly the ship entirely, since Gilgamesh didn't need it to fly his airship. It would probably severely hamper it though.If nothing else, we can force him out of the ship and onto the ground. And once he's there, we have to hope we can kill him before he can get back to the ship. I don't see any other options with El Slendo out of this plane."I, Luke Morcai, by the authority of my Command Spell, order my Servant, Rider, to awaken the true power of his Lance, and strike our enemy from his steed with all his skills as a jouster!"
>>20228561This, but specify the name of Riders lance 'Gold Radamanto'.
We might need to specify forced class switch otherwise the lance might still fizzle and not have it's actual effect. We can only use 1/3 of astolfo's power in rider class anyways, if we force switch to lancer we get 1/2.
>>20228561>>20228585If we're doing this, then do it all out. Wait for him to come and meet head on. We don't need a chance to make a bad blow.
>>20228259Arrie doesn't want you to die huh?Looks like you're growing on her master.
>>20228657I assume Astolfo will take care of the details of the strike. He was a master jouster who only ever lost to the guy he named this lance after, and I did specify to use "all his skills."Also, I don't know where everyone got this idea that we can change Astolfo's class. We can only turn on one of his alternate class phantasms for one battle.
UPDATE!http://pastebin.com/NqncNsGV
>>20228878Call for tea, then make plan to Circle the shit out of our replacement foot.
>>20228878That's odd, I was under the impression that we were tied to master's conscious state. Is he coming to now, or are we separated from him somewhat?
>>20228878GOD! DAMN! SON!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCL_EqNKpVA>MFW DAT LANCE OF PROMISED RIDER KILLINGMaster, I suggest you wake up and halt their bickering. Remind them that we won the fight they're screaming about. And tell Astolfo that as proud as you are of him, the girl who doesn't care probably saved you from bleeding out in that field.
>>20228878Stop bickering, you two. We won, that's all that matters. I may have lost a foot, but there may be ways around that eventually. I won't admit defeet so easily, even though I may need a hand getting around from now on.Get used to it, master. Losing a foot gives us plenty of opportunities for terrible puns.
Quick note guys: if Ganondorf fucks with us we have THEFT.We can take his Triforce of Power, which is what fuels fucking EVERYTHING he does. Also would give us a nice power-boost.And before anyone says shit about us not being able to use it, Wisdom chooses the one best suited for it, Courage goes to the one most deserving of it, and Power goes to whoever has the balls to GRAB it. Taking it from him will be enough to make it attune to us.Technically, he could then take it right back and be equally worthy, but if we NOPE the fuck out of there with Rider that shouldn't be an issue.Not saying we need to pick a fight with him, but doing that would solve almost all our problems in one go.
>>20228878If our foot is not still there and were still bleeding, we call Merlin and tell him that "Lukas Morcaiis dying of bloodloss, unless you are willing to help him Merlin the last best hope of the world shall die with him. He needs your aid *please*". Have astolfo make the call and give his name.
>>20229006Also, know it was unrelated to current happenings, but I wasn't here last time it was relevant.Just wanted to put out my two cents.
>>20229006The Triforce of Power eh?But wouldn't it fade when this Grail War ends?It is something to keep in mind though.
God damnit Hammerfight is a silly game.
>>20229035The grail war ends in one of three ways: the Apocalypse, in which case we give no fucks.Us dead, in which case we give no fucks.Or with us winning and getting a wish, which means we can just give ourselves all the power we could ever need, fuck the Triforce.This is of course assuming it'll just up and vanish when the war ends.
Update!http://pastebin.com/MyCVUCi2
>>20229113Wait was Arrie and Rostolfo somehow able to stop the bleeding?I thought neither one of them had any skill at healing.Also it looks like we've just given ourselves another week to fix the Grail?
>>20229113Astolfo has a point, but staying at home for the remainder of the Grail war isn't really an option. I suggest going home, retrieving your crutches and see how well you walk with them, master. I doubt Astolfo is up to another fight tonight, at any rate.
>>20229155We have a bunch of pre-made circle spells at our place, maybe she just fired one off for healing. I dunno.Tell Astolfo we have to go check this out. We may be hurt, but if we lose out on clues that could lead us to allies, or at least Servant IDs, it could doom the entire world. We can't afford to sit back.Besides, he was all, "Yes my Lord" a few minutes ago, how about a little confidence in his master here, since we're trusting him enough to watch out for us in this wounded state? Promise We'll come back immediately if we feel faint or sick or something.
"fine, we'll head home temporarily. Astolpho, while you are out with Arry I want you to protect her as you would me. Treat her with kindness for she has done neither you, nor me no wounds".When you get home, call Jeanne and inform her that blue rider has been defeated, though you were wounded in the battle. Though she probably already knows.It might also be time to do some research into rituals that could increase or expand your mana circuits.
>>20229274Actually, I'm changing my vote to this. Have Astolfo go with Arry to reconnoiter while we rest at home. We should be safe there. We can call Jeanne and talk to her on the phone and get her sympathetic TLC over our poor mangled wounds.
>>20229274>>20229407Something else to look into: Rin liked to pour her excess mana into jewels that acted as pre-made spells and magic batteries.Since we can pull prana in from wherever, we should figure out something similar and make a lot of them.It'd be like making a magic circle that's MOSTLY complete. A quick gesture from sealing it and casting, but also able to take it apart and reclaim the mana.
http://pastebin.com/s74ZkURE
>>20229535"I'll be sure to tell the next person trying to kill me that."Make sure you've got the same cheerful tone she has. Otherwise she might think you're angry at the joke.If she takes it the wrong way "In all honesty I can't protest a laugh at my expense. Such hypocrisy would leave me without a leg to stand on."
>>20229274Rituals to increase mana circuits? >>20229006has the right idea. Grab the Triforce of Power, use it to power everything we do. Hell, we can use it for the purpose Ganon intended to and steal Jeanne from the Grail.This is contingent on Master not making like Ganon himself and going mad on power, but I like to imagine that we might be a stabilizing influence. Maybe.
>>20229535"Oh, this? This is nothing. You should see the scar I have on my knee from beating up Jimmy Braddock in second grade."Be a bit flippant about the whole situation, master. Make a joke of it. It might be a coping mechanism, but being depressed about your foot won't change anything. Do you know anyone who specializes in magical prosthetics? You need to be right beside your servant when the going gets tough. You promised him, after all. This is NOT a hindrance on the path of you becoming the most powerful magus ever. This is a challenge. If you can overcome this, you'll be able to deal with damn near everything that'll come in your path in the future.
>>20229605>Stabilizing influenceThis is the same Bob who's only concern in crisis situations is getting ourselves/our master laid, advocates wanton violence and is responsible for how many innocent deaths?
Thank the lady for her presence, first and foremost, all we really called for was to inform Jeanne we were wounded, she had no obligation to rush over here to protect us but she still did. It might be prudent to discuss Merlin with her, when we told him about the grail he seemed both shocked and crestfallen, ask Jeanne if she knows any reasons behind why a magi so powerful as Merlin would throw their support behind a... Girl like Arturia. He seemed to want some time to think when you left him. With his help you may be able to be up a foot on your opposition again, and you may be able to expand your magic circuits enough to free Jeanne from her obligation to the grail.Despite her teasing, Jeanne does seem worried.
>>20229650STILL better than turning into Piggy Ganon.
UPDATE!http://pastebin.com/7TiXBhRp
>>20229802Rotate your head so that you're facing her crotch.Make motorboat noises.
>>20229802Correct link is correct. What a horrible day to run a quest
Someone said earlier that our current Master was unlikely to reach the same level of swag as the previous.Has anyone actually LOOKED at the lord and lady he's got fawning on him? I mean, they're French, which is a point against them, but goddamn.
>>20229823Bad idea, blowing a raspberry into a vagina can be fatal.Instead smile at her and maybe snuggle in a little bit. Then thank her for the tea.Mention that having such a pretty lady fuss over you makes you feel better already. Let's see how long we can make HER the flustered one in this relationship.
>>20229823Tempting, extremely tempting but you probably shouldn't do that.>>20229802If I got treated like this every time I was injured I would soon find myself with no limbs and nothing but a heavenly smile upon my face.
"You know, they will probably return with some dire news, and it will be a strange or rather exploitable situation. If you have anything planned inside that charming blond head, I doubt you will find me more vulnerable than in this very moment."
>>20229865>Bad idea, blowing a raspberry into a vagina can be fatal.I... bu... HOW?!?>>20229867>>20229865"I have to say, I don't mind getting hurt like this now that I've got such a pretty lady fussing over me."
>>20229856Astolfo is a prince of England.>>20229823Seconding, Jeanne likes to tease let's see if Luke can get her a bit flustered. Once she's gotten a taste of her own medicine, serious up and thank her, saying you really don't know what you'd do if it weren't for astolfo and her both.
>>20229899>HOW?!?Air bubbles do terrible things to a woman's insides.>>20229901.... you do know that was the obligatory 'dicking around' suggestion right?
>>20229915Speaking of 'dicking around', we did get our new master to agree to the same terms as prior ones right?Viv a vis getting to ride shotgun in... intimate moments? I mean we're carrying half the burden and all the swag.
>>20229865Misquoted, meant to target >>20229915Telling her to take what opportunities are currently available might be good too
>>20229961Err, switch the posts there and it's right.
>>20229961Did you quote those backwards too?
>>20229802Reach up and stroke her cheek."If I hadn't read it in the history books first, I'd never believe you. How could anyone look at a beauty as radiant as you are, and see the Warrior before the Woman?... Wow, I'm sorry, that was corny. Must be the blood loss."
>>20230013"I would try to blame it on the painkillers, but I can't afford any good ones right now."
UPDATE!http://pastebin.com/ScTXQ7b1
>>20230066It may be terrible, but at least it'll be entertaining. For Merlin, at least. There's worse prospects than bumping uglies with Astolfo on top of the Space Needle, master.But yeah, this pretty much confirms what we've been thinking. Merlin can help us unfuck the grail. It's in his own best interest to keep the world alive for now, after all. It won't be able to offer him any entertainment once it's destroyed.
>>20230066"...eh, Ganon we know. I mean, he has goals and agendas but I'm fairly certain I could stop him if he went full on crazy. Better the devil you know?"Deep sigh. "Not that either choice is particularly appealing., mind you."Look at her and smile "I guess I can try at the very least. But later, I want news from my partners before I make my next move, whatever it is."Then pause "And I'd like to savor the moment. I'm not going to pretend victory is assured, so I think we need to treasure these moments while we can. Especially since we might not have many left."
>>20230066Unsurprising and irrefutable.If the world continuing to exist means you have to do whatever a jackass borderline-omnipotent wizard says, then you'd better prepare for your life to become interesting in uniquely unpleasant ways.And cheer up master, it might even be fun!To watch.
>>20230117>>20230142>>20230154Whatever we say here, we need to add under our breath: "Fucking wizards man. I am one and I kinda hate them."
>>20230066"Yeah... considering who he is, you're right, obviously. If I can get him on our side, we may finally have a chance to get through this mess.Besides, Astolfo would never forgive me if all I had to do was suffer some humiliation to save a Lady from a terrible fate at the hands of an evil wizard, and I said no."
>>20230154>>20230117>>20230142Agreed with most of these except working with ganon, Merlin can be an asshole but he worked with arturia for a damn long time. Ganon is the goddamn king of evil you guys keep on needing to be reminded of that.Tell her that it is important to treasure these tiny moments, they truly might be all you two have.
UPDATE!http://pastebin.com/1ZjZjvYW
>>20230219Fuck! Now master, right now. Hurry! Activate a homing hug!
>>20230339Well it looks like it is time for me to be brave once more. A Berserker wants to duel Rider, Rider says he needs my permission for it to count, I have to get over there.Could I prevail on you for a ride? I would rather not have to get there on foot, singular.
>>20230339".... I'll be down shortly."Then get there as quickly as possible.But before we go..... "I'm not sure I'd call what I do brave. Bravery is looking fear in the eye and continuing despite that. It's hardly brave if you never have the sense or the inclination to be afraid in the first place."
>>20230339Fuck. Ask where they are, then go there ASAP. Your husbando needs you, master. Ask Jeanne for a ride if at all possible.
>>20230339We need to go, we need to get there *fast*. Ask Jeanne if she can take us there, this is damn important... And we need to make sure Arry is okay too.
>>20230339Tell Jeanne and ask her to get you to Astolfo as fast as she possibly can. I don't think its a violation of her duties as Ruler since the other master expressly requested our presence.
>>20230339Fuck me sideways and fuck you too Roland. The ABSOLUTE last the we need to to give Astolfo MORE mental trauma.As the challenged, we are entitled to decide time and place. He can have his goddamn duel in a week because we cannot trust the so-called honor of a duelist, being injured ourselves in what was supposed to be a clash between two Riders.There. Time for Astolfo and time to deal with the Grail, with a chance of getting ourselves more time if we need it. How's that sound?
>>20230339Go, then explain that we already had a duel, and that if BERSERKER wants a duel that counts, he should wait while the proper preparations are made.
>>20230440That sounds great. A week should be more then enough to prepare our servant mentally for this.Oh, but the fallout is still going to be bad.
>>20230339Say this before you do anything else."Are you aware that this entire Grail War is in fact a trap designed to end the world? I have the Red Ruler sitting right next to me to confirm, if you wish."
>>20230409I don't think we need to downtalk ourselves to Jeanne. As much as I approve of self-deprecation as a social tool in some situations, I think we should just take her compliment. Hell, she knows brave better than we do, she let herself burn at the stake.Besides, we're kind of in a hurry here.
>>20230339We should point out that we're less inclined to trust such honest dueling customs since someone claiming the same intent just lied, back-stabbed us, and took our damn foot.
>>20230440>>20230455Changing my vote to this. We need to prepare for a duel, collect prana and shit. Going out for more exploring tonight was a bad idea in hindsight, we already had a fight and are tired. Appeal to his sense of honor, he seems to be a reasonable man.
>>20230471>>20230440This, very much this, we already spent a huge amount of mana today from another "duel" in which we were injured, if fucklip wants his duel he can damn well wait a week for us to have recovered some and regained prana. Especially if he wants it to "count".
>>20230499>>20230503>>20230517Combine these. Calling into question his honor, showing the odds are too skewed for a 'fair' fight due to circumstances, and the fact that we just got fucked by another 'duelist' backstabbing us....If it's Roland, he'll let us go. He'll let us go and personally ensure that nobody fucks with us until he can get his fair fight.
>>20230568Provided he doesn't go mad beforehand.
UPDATE!http://pastebin.com/Z8hpL2vS
>>20230604For...He want's to fight over Arry? What the actual fuck?Console Rider. Do whatever you can.
>>20230604I feel as if I must stress this point.THERE IS NO FUCKING PRIZE.There won't be any fucking wishes unless your wish is the destruction of the planet and everyone on it, in which case it is your lucky fucking day.As of now, the only thing this is accomplishing is bringing the world one step closer to doomsday.And in case Berserker's master doesn't believe us, Jeanne is either in the car or standing nearby.What the fuck is wrong with this guy.
>>20230604Master, how are you doing on Prana just in case this comes to a fight?Could you hypothetically steal Prana from your surroundings or your opponent to fuel something useful like the Giant? Honestly you might want to take up the fight now, Berserker is not going to remain lucid for all that long and when he comes back he'll go right back to throwing cars around. Also, he made Astolfo cry.
>>20230604As much as I think fighting him as we are now, tired and hurt, is a terrible idea, it should really be up to Astolfo. Is he up for battle? Don't let anger cloud your judgment here, master. If it really IS Roland, this guy will be extremely fucking powerful.If he truly is as honorable as he seems, Berserker should be okay with giving you a few days rest.
>>20230673There will be plenty of tears to go around when Berserker crushes us.Ask Arry if Slim Jim is in the neighborhood.If Berserker wants a duel for her honor, it's only fair that her champion should take up the mantle....I don't care if it is Roland, he took one of Astolfo's ribbons and made him cry, he deserves whatever the Emaciated Gentleman has to offer.
>>20230604You know what? That's it. I've had enough. END HIM.The entire time we've known Astolfo he's been desperate and hurt by his feelings for Roland. Now this jackass who may be Lancelot or may be Roland has just destroyed the one physical embodiment of his affection for Roland. One of the pillars that define who Astolfo is. I imagine they'll both be broken by the end of the fight for symbolic reasons, and I might be part of an aggregate soul of perversion and chaos, but even I think that's going too far. End this fool.
>>20230604Ignore Berserker for now, he's bound by the Command Spell.Address Astolfo, get down on your knee and look him in the eye. Tell him you're here for him and it'll be OK.Ask him the hard question first: Is he sure that this knight is Sir Roland?Then let him know that the Duel is in his hands, and that we'll support his decision if he wants to fight now. But also tell him it would be wisest to ask for the right, as the challenged, to set the time and place. We're vulnerable and weakened right now from our earlier battle. We don't know what kind of abilities this Berserker has, but if he is Roland we need to buy time to find a way to access Astolfo's full powers. More Prana, healing, even just rest, SOMETHING!Roland may be crazy, but if its for "his woman" he should still consign to the terms so long as you honor them.
"astolpho, I want as much as you to settle this right now, trust me I do. But we've spent a lot of prana today and I'm wounded. We *cannot* win this right now.Do you remember when ganons master called me a rat? I didn't deny it, today we scurry away and lick our wounds. When we're healed and we've recovered our prana, we can come back to fight Roland. You can tell him how upset you were that you dropped his wits, and how long you loved him. I will be there with you and I will tell him how foolish he was for never seeing or returning your love. But if you fight him today. You. Will. Die. And that I could not bear, it would break me and it would ensure the doom of this world. Tell him he has a week, please."
>>20230758Sanguine is right, as usual.
>>20230650For some reason, I need to reiterate this more emphatically.Until we go off to see the wizard, any combat is if anything detrimental.Since the trophy is essentially a giant bomb.
>>20230865This guy isn't fighting for the trophy, we didn't start this fight, and this guy isn't in his right mind. We have no choice but to defend ourselves when other masters force the issue.
>>20230933I'm not trying to reason with a fucking Berserker obviously.But he has a master who should be nearby who might be more interested in learning this.
Update... oh, what an Update...http://pastebin.com/L49XHYqi
>>20230975..................................Fuck our lives.
>>20230975...All the help you can get?Sure this is a big moment for Astolfo but he's totally going to get his ass handed to him.But if you and Arry can kill Roland's master?...Tonight you must throw away something you value deeply, Astolfo's honor as a knight, or Astolfo's life.You can't have both.
>>20230975Well, it was fun while it lasted. It's going to take some slim jim intervention to stop this rape train.
>>20230975Even though I voted for this, I still think we're in trouble. I think we should try and get the master killed by his own Servant. How's that for a knight protector.That said, this one calls for the Hippogryff. Pity Astolfo has no ranged weapons.
>>20230975Damn, boss, you should have tried for this guy. Astie's cute and all, but his shit is as good as stomped once this goes down.
>>20230975Wait. Wait wait wait.Master can steal items. Can Master steal Durandal? Could Astolfo use it? He's part of the Roland legend after all, there *might* be a loophole.Also, the vial that master stole from the dream, is there any chance at all we might be able to steal it out of the dream? I'm seriously pulling at straws here.
...So did this guy drink the Decanter of Aude or not?I'm not sure which would be worse for us.
>>20231101If anything like that is possible, let's go for it.
Why didn't anyone listen to >>20230767 Roland is a goddamn rapetrain and were low on prana. This is completely beyond us, not even the theft of durandal will stop this. I can't see a way out of this mess unless Merlin... You have merlons card. Call him now. *beg him to intervene* this fight *cannot* be allowed to happen.
>>20231118>>20231101Mana supply is lacking boys. If it takes it out of him to steal a kiss, then Durandal is out of the question.
>>20230975Okay, so......Alright, bright side is: It's a duel so he won't use that horn or the giant. Hopefully.
>>20231151Prana transfer works both ways right? Jeanne is right there...Of course, she won't approve of interfering with someone else's duel. Dammit.
>>20231144Yeah I have to concur.This is bigger than Astolfo's pride.You're the best chance this world has as a savior master, and you need your knight.
>>20230975Well fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuck. This is going to be extremely hard.The important question is whether to try and trigger his Mad Enhancement to full or not. If we do so we can restrict his NPs to a small number, including not having Durandal, and pray to god that he doesn't pull out the Decanter. Maybe we can seal his access to Durandal with it and steal it with MAGIC!
Get Arry to sneakily command seal Fatman after Roland's master. It's our only way out of this with an intact trap.
Sorry to leave this on an epic cliffhanger, but that is the end of things for tonight!Tune in next time, Same Nasu Time, Same Nasu Channel.Tiger Dojo I guess, though I doubt EGO will be able to answer questions easily by proxy.
>>20231169I think we can convince her that it'll place it on a level playing field, so it's okay.Also we need to throw Slimjim at the master.
>>20231050It's bad, but it's not as bad as it seems. Since it's a dual, hell only really use two noble phantasms: Durandal and Veillantif. It's an impressive list of skills as well, but the only ones that will really come into play are Eternal Arms Mastership, Projectile (Universal), and his Mad Enhancement.It's still bad. It's still terrible. But let's not lose this one before the fight.
>>20231192I think we need to trigger Mad Enhancement in order to get past some of his absurd abilities like Protection of the Faith, Guardian Knight, etc.That is if we're actually going to fight him instead of contacting Merlin or seeing if Arry can invite Mister Thin to the party to do to Roland's master what he does best.
>>20231207Boo! Hiss!All right, let's get to the Dojo. Exactly how fucked are we, in Saber Alters?
So after having spammed irc with ninja turtles stuff all night, I have to resort to one of my favorite mentors of all time : Splinter."My Master Yoshi's first rule was: possess the right thinking. Only then can one receive the gifts of strength, knowledge and peace."This is bigger than Astolpho and Roland, Its bigger than Luke and anyone else present too. Everyone there needs some *serious* right thinking handed out. Merlin needs to be begged for intervention, it may be distasteful and humiliating, but pride and stubbornness alone wont save the world. We cannot beat Roland in a fight, Astolfo will die.
>>20231228Thankfully Astolfo ought to be able to trigger it with A rank Charisma and knowing him really well. We can't let him use Durandal so we have to trigger it, it'll smash the fuck out of Astolfo and the three Miracles it has will completely bend us over the table.We need more Prana for this, we need to get Jeanne and Arry to bankroll our Mana reserves and a phone call to Merlin wouldn't go amiss. Basic battle plan, get Prana from Jeanne and Arry, Trigger his Mad Enhancement to full, steal Eternal Arms Mastership, make him eat a Giant or Hippogriff in the face.
>>20231331>steal a servant skillDid you guys already forget the bit where he essentially said he'd have to rip out all of Arry's circuits to be able to do anything approaching this sort of level? Luke has a SHIT mana ceiling, you can't fill what's already full.
>>20231315Those are my thoughts exactly.
>>20231357Would it be possible to steal the Decanter, because if he drinks that we don't have a snowball's chance in hell. A++ stats and Durandal or Bravery + Eye of Mind (True) and his normal stats, neither sounds good.
>>20231525On the other hand, maybe the decanter would make him sane enough to defuse the situation?
>>20231243Speaking as the person who designed this servant by request, I would have to say that we're sitting comfortably at five Saber Alters worshiping Gilgamesh's cock while being plowed from the other end by Lancelot, Gawain at 3 in the afternoon, UBW Shirou, full Counter Guardian Archer and a sixth Saber Alter with a Merlin dick.So yeah.
>>20231544He's sane now and he wants the duel. I think there's something in Roland's feelings towards Astolfo we don't know.
>>20231560You're a monster. No berserker should have this many high ranked noble phantasms. Roland is the only servant seen that could wipe the floor with the other rapetrain, Ganon.
>>20231560Alright then.Fuck chivalry.I don't care if this does ruin Astolfo and master's admittedly sweet relationship.Their story must not end here.The world depends on it.
>>20231575...Any chance Roland has a death wish and is going to let Astolfo win?Because unless we want to break master's promise to stand by Astolfo's shitty decision, that's pretty much our only hope.
>>20231575>Sane.No, no he isn't. He thinks Arry is some fair maiden he fell in love with and Astolfo is some bastard keeping him away from her.He's probably hallucinating everything right now.In any case, we need to inform his Master of how fucking stupid this whole situation is, since the grail's going to end the world if we don't stop dicking around.Then again if they're stupid enough to summon a fucking berserker, much less let them run around loose afterward, then they probably deserve whatever terrible fate they have waiting.>>20231560Dude, Berserkers shouldn't be able to have that much raw power unless their master is a Demi-god. Because they would either not be able to give them that kind of power, or their goddamned head would explode, because the entire berserker class is designed to lose via killing their own master.It makes no sense. None. What the hell were you thinking?
>>20231560I have no reaction image to post. This is saying something. And I can't even disagree on the stats part, Roland really is that fucking good.I had an idea for a Fate project that goes in a very unusual direction, and I was hoping I could get a bit of feedback on the main idea. Would you receptive to my brainstorming at you? Would prefer a chat (got Steam?) but I could just throw what I've got into the thread.
>>20231686I specifically designed this servant with the support of his insane abilities and his class in mind. Berserkers are life-draining master killers because of Mad Enhancement itself, not the Servant's abilities (after all, Saber and Lancer often have as high as a Berserker with no harm to their master). His Mad Enhancement rank is normally D. He has a relatively high Mana storehouse at Rank B, meaning he can run on his own batteries without hurting his master a lot more often than not. And most importantly, he has Guardian Knight. He can completely refuel his stores by doing something as simple as helping an old lady cross a street.And frankly, we know nothing about this Master. He could be an Einzbern Mana Factory for all we know. And this is only the fifth day of the war. A Berserker, even one this powerful, couldn't kill even a painfully average master in that little time if he's playing smart.I know whats up, dawg. I didn't not think of these things.>>20231702Feel free to pop into the IRC channel listed in the OP, I'm in there most days.
>>20231766>Guardian Knight...Prana.... does not... work like that....You can't just magically get all that energy from nowhere. It comes from somewhere. Having a stat boost is fine, but the healing+mana regen would make it an EX rank.Seriously, different guy, no objection to the stats... except this part. The whole point of the berserker class was a trap class. They are designed, from the start, to get fucked horribly and kill their masters. It's not a issue of a particular hero, it's the very nature of the grail system.Yes, they're powerful as hell. With serious, debilitating drawbacks. It's a basic part of the class system, a berserker not doing terrible things to it's master is like somebody deciding that gravity's stupid, and then walking up a fucking wall with no negative repercussions.Seriously. Either you're deliberately fucking this up, or you just flat do not understand the very concept of the berserker class.
>>20231854I'll admit that perhaps I didn't think of every single little detail, like the exact mechanical method by which Guardian Knight restores the prana. I know you can't get it from nowhere, but that doesn't mean it can't get there somehow.And yes, I do understand that the basic principle of Berserker is as a trap. The entire principle of the Grail War ITSELF is a trap, this isn't news. And yes, Berserker is supposed to do terrible things to its master (Though frankly, a lot of people overstate this because they're just running off the description rather than the evidence that we actually fucking see in the source material. Kariyra was fucking terrible as a mage, and he had a retardedly powerful Berserker, and he was still able to function somewhat reasonably. He was in constant agony, but it wasn't making him fucking fall over dead instantly just from fucking existing. Illya was in constant agony also, but after a while she was able to deal with the pain, and didn't even seem to notice once it was gone. As long as she could make the prana without dying in the process, she was good to go.)Honestly, I just fulfilled the request to stat the servant, and did my best to follow the rules of the setting, the concept of the class, and the story of the hero. It came out God Tier, and it should have. Roland WAS God tier.I'd be glad to come up with some specific mechanic for Guardian Knight's mana recharge. I could remind you that we don't know anything about Roland's master yet and that could explain everything. I could remind you this is a new grail and it might help with Berserkers like Extra's grail did.But I'll just leave it here. I just wanted to make an epic boss character for us all to fight. EGO liked what I came up with, so he used it.
Speaking of which...I wanna see Astolfo cosplay. Pic Very much related.
I do wonder what would happen if some third party tried to hijack the whole goddamn grail war under the nose of the participants. Say some Dead Apostle Ancestor with enough power to smite multiple servants at the same time or somesuch. I mean its hard to believe, say, Trhvmn Ortenrosse would have no interest in a possible infinite prana engine/entryway to the Origin considering he is a over 4 thousand years old Age of Gods magus vampire who could overpower Gilgamesh with his hands tied to his dick. Yet nothing. I dont even recall reading about a third party interfering at all into a Grail War. Weird.
>>20230975We are sooooo fucked. We're going to need Slim Jim over here taking out Roland's Master to even have a shot at winning this one, fellow Bobs.
>>20231976But this isn't an epic boss.This is Cain from OWoD, or Cthulhu from Call of Cthulhu.You might as well just have fucking written 'You lose' as a character description.
>>20232126The Grail War is just shy of ULTRA HERESY as it is, it's just generally held in places where the Church has minimal influence.If a fucking VAMPIRE joined in, or anything equally blasphemous? BURN, KILL, PURGE. The Church would fall on that shit in minutes. A bunch of squabbling mages after the Root is, whatever. Heretical, but acceptably heretical.A True Ancestor going after the power of the Holy Grail is like, double deep-fried heresy.
>>20234697As scary as Roland is. Merlin fucking beats him.
>>20234848Honestly, there are plenty of Servants who can play on the same field as Walt Disney World. Orlando Bloom IS France's national hero moreso than any other legendary figure, and he's got about as much detritus around his legend as King Arthur, so it's no surprise he's ricockulous.But this is Nasu. The more hax something is, the more likely it is to die to some really lame oversight.
>>20234861Astolfo still doesn't really have a chance against Roland. Especially not with Luke so low on prana.
>>20236376Normally you'd be right.But Arry is right next to us, and Roland's master foolishly gave us his cell phone number.Maybe there's something Arry could say or text to that master to make her Assassin... take notice of him.Seeing as Roland is ostensibly fighting for honor, it wouldn't due for her champion to stay out of this.And best of all, we technically wouldn't be doing anything.
>>20236376Actually... we might have a way.If Astolfo is able to enrage Roland to Mad Enhancement B, Roland loses his 'Protection of the Faith' and 'Guardian Knight' things.In theory he might be so powerful that he'll drain his master to death almost instantaneously after going extra berserk?
