File: 1347232721836.jpg-(6 KB, 162x121, 1343448011643.jpg)

The DM has already left. The other players are sort of staring, as if it was a car wreck they couldn't look away from.

Then That Guy Minoris says something.

>"Maybe you could be my girlfriend"

I don't know if he was joking, but he then started describing his character railing this kitsune character, in excruciating detail. He does doing this for something like 30 nauseating minutes before I guess he got bored.

Then That Guy Majoris says "I wonder if my eyes should be heterochromatic instead of just blue...?"

This is about where I bailed the fuck out.

And the reason he wasn't kicked out immediately is ...?

File: 1347232784029.jpg-(144 KB, 836x529, you're god damn right i mad.jpg)

GODDAMMIT.

HORO IS NOT SOME SEDUCTRESS FOX BITCH. HAS HE NEVER SEEN SPICE AND WOLF?

Bring an audio recorder to your next session

You must

This is your new goal in life: Give us audio detailing of That Guy. We must observe him uninterrupted in his natural habitat.

>>20663552
Because he was away from the group for the majority of the session making a character. The DM was just leaving when he came back.

>>20663561
Did I mention he's a moron? He's actually a genius when it comes to science, but he's a goddamn moron when it comes to EVERYTHING else.

>>20663574
Perhaps. I'm pretty sure the others would notice though.

You know.. I had something along these lines happen with an old THAT guy before. But you know that awesome guy? You know. That fucking awesome guy who does ridiculous things, but awesome ridiculous things that don't completely derail a game and in fact help it progress faster?

We had both of those guys in a group and it was fantastic. And resulted in THAT guy getting forever banished from our local FLGS. I can story time if you guys want.

File: 1347233219213.png-(227 KB, 987x755, 1344671565222.png)

>>20663628
>I can story time if you guys want.
You god damn bet we want.
You shouldn't even have to ask.

Here's a muscle-bound man in a bowler hat wielding a shotgun for motivation.

>>20663628
By all means. It wouldn't be a That Guy thread without storytime.

In my group 2 players act like "That guy Majoris"...

File: 1347233512557.gif-(13 KB, 600x450, 1326152388685.gif)

>>20663648
>>20663651

Okey dokey then.

I've been playing Pen and Paper RPGs for awhile. Not terribly long but long enough for me to have played most of the big ones. 3.5, 4.0, Pathfinder, SR 3/20th anniversary, 7th Sea, Trail of Cthulhu, etc. But the guy we had recruited from our FLGS had played damn near everything. He was easily into his late 50s and was a retired Microsoft Investor. He had nothing else to do but play with us and we were glad to have him. He took acting classes in his spare time and often made small appearances at local theater productions. All in all, fantastic face guy. But after advertising that we needed one more person for our 3.5 game we got another guy.. He was new, just moved into town apparently. Seemed nice enough. No obvious THAT guy quirks. Dressed well, showered, good teeth and an okay personality. I thought it was gonna go pretty well. Boy, was I wrong.

File: 1347233976688.jpg-(54 KB, 505x322, ohdear.jpg)

>>20663705

After shaking hands and introducing ourselves to everyone we weren't entirely familiar with the DM stated that we would NOT be going through our first adventure today. Today would be laying the background and character creation session. Needless to say, we were all kind of bummed. But our new guy got just a bit flustered. Just a bit. He wanted to make sure our DM knew how disappointed he was that we couldn't play today. Our DM tried to reassure him saying that the background for this campaign, in terms of politics, would be rather extensive and while there would be fighting there will be much more talking and espionage. Old Man lit up at this. I had played with him before in a SR one shot and he dove right in and played as though he'd actually been there his whole life as an Orc Decker with a passion for light browsing blackmail.

Our DM wasn't kidding either. He might as well have written a book because this shit was DEEP. Complex, but understandable. After a page and a half of quick notes he concluded and allowed us to use his books to create our characters. There were the traditional books there and we mostly just took from the basic player's handbook. But new guy said he had his own book at home he would use. He wouldn't tell us which one but he guaranteed it was legit. Taking his word for granted we let him go home and use his own book.

I remember all the /tg/ horror stories and feared for my life.

File: 1347234518461.jpg-(36 KB, 467x404, 1317517989846.jpg)

>>20663782

File: 1347234581038.jpg-(53 KB, 546x698, 1340984941775.jpg)

>>20663782
f5

File: 1347234590715.png-(300 KB, 311x427, 1340256100125.png)

>>20663782

Our next session rolled around the following week, giving us plenty of time to flush out backstories, skills, feats, etc. We showed up, set everything up and snagged some stuff to eat from the adjacent pizza place. We talked about our characters and their backgrounds briefly. Just to give the other players a taste before going into good details. I was playing a Human Sorcerer/Shifter Aspirant who joined the circus after seeing an act in which a man changed into a dozen different forms without the use of Druidic magic. Our other player was playing a Human farmboy turned ranger who wished to make his living as a Arena Fighter with his family's prized hunting hound. Old Man was playing a half-orc fighter with a distaste for one of the noble families who happened to be vampires and used fear to keep themselves in power.

But we noticed we were short a player. I felt a twitch deep in my gut as I realize the new guy was gone. One of our players had snagged his phone number and sent him a message. He replied back, "o shit thats today on my way" The group gave a collective sigh as a few of us realize that we may have made a terrible mistake. Giving him the benefit of the doubt we waited. And waited. And waited. For two and a half hours. Until he finally showed up. Granted.. We had already started by that point, and were decently into our campaign. His face gets a bit red and he starts to raise his voice at us. Like its our fault. Needless to say the entire store shouted him down and he sat down with a huff. This was all following a pattern. Something that I never though I'd see and was just in the stories.

>>20663782
What's taking you so long to copy and paste this story?

>>20663908
He's probably writing as he goes. Just be patient, storytime will be delivered.

File: 1347235055400.jpg-(38 KB, 256x375, 256px-Sato_Tadanobu_with_(...).jpg)

>>20663901

Noise and thunder aside the DM snagged his character sheet and his small print out of a backstory. We weren't all sporting ten page backstories but they at least were well written. The guy we were playing with was a wizard. Great start. Until we noticed that he had written in the race slot, "Half-Elf/Vampire". The DM showed me his sheet, since I was sitting next to him, and gave me a weird look. We put a pause on the game to bring it up.
>"Uh. You're a vampire?"
>"Yeah."
>"Why?"
>"Well, uh. Just read my backstory."
Shrugging the DM read his backstory, poker face the whole way through before he hands it to me and asks me to see if I missed something. I tried to keep a straight face as I read it. It had ALL of the THAT guy elements. Rape, incest, assassinations, royalty, impossible-powerful bloodlines, and EVERYTHING that tore the setting asunder. I never thought I'd see the day. I really thought it was just made up stories. His stats weren't broken, but damn near close. And seeing as how his entire backstory conflicted with the setting the DM gave an ultimatum. The next post will have the conversation between DM and that guy.

File: 1347235389174.jpg-(26 KB, 415x434, 1337268311511.jpg)

>>20663996

File: 1347235447667.gif-(43 KB, 300x295, F5 Refresh 1.gif)

>>20663996
>F5ing like the Fist of the mother fucking North Star

File: 1347235462650.jpg-(33 KB, 722x374, mygod.jpg)

>>20663996
>"Your backstory seriously fucks up the world you're starting in buddy."
>"No it doesn't."
>"Yes, it does."
>"No. It doesn't."
DM is getting a death glare at this point.
>"It fucking does. Why? Because your brother killed an arch-duke of one of the largest cities in the nation!"
>"So? Just change your setting."
>"I don't change things after I tell them to you. That and you can't be a Vampire."
>"WHY THE HELL NOT?"
>"Because the noble family who happens to be vampires keeps a close eye on each and every vampire in the nation. And considering your family, you wouldn't have been able to escape their gaze."
>"Fine! Whatever!"
>"Okay, chill out. Also, your stats are a bit nuts. Mind if I tone them down just a bit?"
>"By how much?"
>"Well enough so you don't have three abilities above 23 at level one."
>"THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
>"Listen, you either change to fit our setting or your out. And let me tell you, the community here is small. You won't be able to get into any other games after this shit."

After the player left to "Go for a walk" he came back and said it was fine. We could let him stay a vampire but he would only have the weaknesses of one. At this point, we would rather have him leave then us kick him out.

File: 1347235500144.png-(52 KB, 800x800, So Gay.png)

>>20663996
>vampire
>stereotypical THAT GUY
>an ultimatum is offered
oh boy here we go...

>>20664075
>>20663898
>f5ing
u wot m8

File: 1347235745110.jpg-(22 KB, 294x294, Oh-Boy-here-we-go-again.jpg)

>>20664078
>player says it was fine
>player is obviously lying
>Hold on, this is going to be a bumpy ride...

File: 1347235809117.jpg-(22 KB, 550x374, A man with a monicle.jpg)

>>20664078
Three stats above 23 at lvl 1? Christ, how did he think he was going to get away with that?

File: 1347235884686.jpg-(25 KB, 510x375, Bye Bye 1.jpg)

>>20664120
Oh, hi Summer - I thought you were meant to have left by now.

>>20664078
I've a feeling this is went downhill.....

>>20664174
>f5ing when the page updates automatically
>complaining about summer
pls go

File: 1347236050160.jpg-(54 KB, 1024x600, Summer.jpg)

>>20664206
>complaining about summer

File: 1347236105722.jpg-(95 KB, 620x497, ohfuck.jpg)

>>20664078
Sorry this is taking so long. Typing as I go.

The game starts with all of us present, finally. Traditional start considering the late arrival. Tavern meet up, guy looking for someone to clear the goblin party out of his cellar. First everything went perfect surprisingly. Everything went smoothly, roleplay went well. We thought it had just been a fluke. Maybe a bad day on his part or something. I kind of regret giving bad days that much credit. After getting our payment, our wizard demands more. After asking why he claims that he had done more than all of us combined. Now I'm all for party conflict but this is just trivial. We split it even four ways and say that if we wants more he can go find another party to pal around with. He grumbles knowing that it isn't really much a choice. Now the sessions chugs along until we hear a ruckus from the market.

Apparently, a merchant had just been robbed a very powerful relic from his home country. One that would be given to the duke. Seeing as how we didn't catch a glance at the criminal we decide to ask around. After some okay rolls we find a guy who is acting very suspicious. The wizard has the brilliant idea of threating him with death. Not fucking intimidate rolls or nothing just, "I say that if he doesn't tell us what he knows he dies." Granted we all kind of ignore this and let the Old Man do his job. With as much bravado as he can his voice goes low as he grips the man by the scruff of his shirt and gives a low growl. Followed by, in a Bastion-like voice, "You betta tell me where 'e went. Or I might 'ave to do somethin' bad. Reeal baaad. You understan' me?" Our characters were pretty much shaking in their boots. Except for our wizard who insisted he never got scared. Overall, the check came up to 23. So we got the name and where the thief was heading.

Hang on, isn't it Autumn right now?

>>20664120
>>20664174
>>20664206
>>20664223
Shut the fuck up and let the guy tell his story. No one cares.

>>20664206
>everyone has extensions that update the page automatically
>Whatever you say
In other new lets not start this shit

File: 1347236274004.jpg-(28 KB, 319x480, titus pullo.jpg)

>>20664273
>everyone has extensions that update the page automatically
http://www.4chan.org/news#108
>extensions

>>20664252
Summer ends when the next one begins.
Less meta, more storytime.

File: 1347236554053.jpg-(44 KB, 360x480, Fun times ahead 1.jpg)

>>20664238
>wizard threatens guy with death
>doesn't let face-guy do his job
>totally isn't scared when intimidating face is intimidating

Fun times ahead!

File: 1347236632738.png-(53 KB, 419x387, Shitting me.png)

This thread is destined for great things.

>>20664252
No, that would be the 22nd of September.

File: 1347236678422.gif-(46 KB, 600x450, 1343452367500.gif)

>>20664238

After trekking along the well paved roads to our next destination we get into discussions of our past. Where we came from, what we used to do, what our dreams are.. All in character. Well.. Mostly in character. Wizard refused to talk about his past due to SUDDEN AMNESIA. I felt like tearing his face off. As we arrived at our destination, a massive port town we lamented knowing it would damn near impossible to find anyone in this city. But still we were muderhobos who needed money to pay for our reliable A&W (Ale and Whores). We set straight for the closest portside tavern and found it crowded with rowdy sailors. They were all very nice, albeit a bit drunk. But instead of blending in with the crowd you can only guess who decides to make a ruckus. Mr. Wizard bashes in the door with a impressive strength check and it goes flying off its hinges.

"We're looking for a thief!" He exclaims with as much super-scariness as he can muster, "We know you know whe-" The Old man quickly interrupts him and grapples him to the ground. "Sorry 'bout that! This ones a bit too noisy for his own good!" He then glares at the player and makes says, "You do that again and I'll kill ya myself you shitstain of a human being." The group goes quiet and the man running the counter quickly slips into the back room. Trying to pick up the mood again the DM says the sailors were impressed by the take down they treat the half-orc and his friends to a free round of ale. This did not please our Wizard. This is not how he wanted this to play through at all. No one is scared of him. And someone keeps outdoing him at every turn.. The Half-Orc fighter.. The Old Man..

>>20664255

This is why I love /tg/.

You guys are the best.

>>20664273
Wow, sweet a 4chan user that doesn't read the FUCKING NEWS PAGE LINK THATS ON EVERY BOARD. I've never seen such autist.

>>20664400

Oh god that foreshadowing.

Don't disappoint us great storyteller.

File: 1347236943445.png-(376 KB, 900x702, 1346751876248.png)

>>20664400
IT BEGINS

fuuuu F5F5F5

File: 1347237099064.jpg-(26 KB, 550x425, Mother of God.jpg)

>>20664400
>The rage that must be bubbling beneath that player's skin...

File: 1347237122430.jpg-(68 KB, 562x434, go_be_fat_somewhere_else.jpg)

>>20664424

NO U

I'm running a *nix platform, with Opera, and guess what - the extension doesn't work.

Go be fat somewhere else.

File: 1347237173847.jpg-(81 KB, 360x360, 1346534929608.jpg)

old man... i believe in you bruh...

>>20664400

The DM and myself can see it in his eyes. Something isn't right here. After partying and talking to all the sailors in the bar we finally come across one who saw someone run into the warehouse next door with something tucked underneath is cloak. Seeing as how this is supposed to be our first "Mission" we sort of realized that the easy stuff comes first. You know. Getting used the setting, cities and everything. But, it had gotten late as we partied with the sailors and we decided to spend the night here. This is where things get a bit weird. The Wizard had been passing notes to the DM for a solid hour with as much of a straight face as he could muster. Which isn't saying much. DM slipped me a note that said, "Make me a sense motive on the Wizard." Everyone else at this point was just having drunken antics and that's always fun. So I could do this without anyone really noticing. Now I had no points put into that but I had a damn good roll of 19.

The DM slips me a note saying the Wizard has been glaring at the Half-Orc for some time now. And the gaze isn't one of love and affection. I take a deep breath. I really hoped it wouldn't have to come to this. I slip a note under the table to our Old Man and he reads it while still keeping his drunken revelry up. That night, me and him share a room. I sat by the front door for the first half of the night. Making sure our resident "Wizard" doesn't do anything he won't regret. And am I glad I did...

>>20664544
>extension
What the fuck are you talking about, autist? Auto-refresh is built into the 4chan website. It doesn't require any extension.

>sage for off topic

>>20664598
Not on mobile it isn't

>>20664579

Oh boy oh boy

>>20664598

Except you're an idiot, and I just said:
>non-standard browser
>non-Windows platform

Eat my piss, you waste of protein.

File: 1347237464608.jpg-(72 KB, 734x404, Glorious 1.jpg)

>>20664579
>wizard hates old man
>obviously plans to kill him during the night
>waits by door to make sure he doesn't do anything he won't regret
>he's totally going to regret this
>MFW

>>20664598
>>20664637
It doesn't fucking matter, stop fighting like a bunch of /b/tards and wait for OP to post more of his wonderful horrifying story.

>>20664579

OP BETTER PRAY TO SANIC FOR DAH SPEED BECAUSE I CANT HANDLE THE SUSPENSE ANYMORE.

(seriously, this is a really good story)

File: 1347237570143.jpg-(36 KB, 288x287, 1345655213956.jpg)

>>20664579

>people arguing about extensions or some gay nigga shit in this thread
>spending time arguing over trivial bullshit instead of anticipating The Old Man, The Wizard and Me: A Biography by Anonymous.

polite sage for offtopic, but I'm still finding that I need to f5 to load new comments, and I'm afraid I don't understand how the news sticky somehow fixes that. what's up?

>>20664670

Oh god im a retard this isn't even OP.

>>20663705
>good teeth
I see you've read about The Luke.

>>20664690
You should probably ask /q/ or someone else, don't fill up the thread, let the guy finish his story.

>>20664690
At the bottom of the page, there is an auto-update box that you check. Similarly, there is an "update" button right next to it if you want to load comments without waiting, and without f5ing.

File: 1347237702607.jpg-(66 KB, 590x445, Dr Who - Sonic'd that bitch.jpg)

>>20664670

>>20664579
F5'ing like a champ here OP. Don't let us down.
I sense Epic in the wind

omg bout to explode from anticipation

File: 1347237888467.jpg-(22 KB, 722x367, mollusks.jpg)

>>20664579

I had to keep making Will checks to keep myself awake as my shift carried on, it had been a long day after all. And I had been making these subtly as our Ranger continued to party and gossip with the sailors and bar wenches down stairs. Suddenly, I am told out loud to make a listen check, I glare at the wizard who looks surprised, scared and angry all in a matter of seconds as he realizes what is happening. Granted, he quickly tries to take back what he had done. But the DM kind of shrugs and says, "You've already gone through with it. Plus..." He paused as he stroked his small goatee, "You don't know that." And in he steps, his dagger in hand and raised high above his head.

The DM looks at me. "Do you intend to hurt him?" He asks. I reply with a nod. "All right. Roll for initiative. Since you didn't see this coming he gets a surprise round." I finally get a reason to start burning spells on someone other than goblins and a an angry bugbear. My first round starts, I use my favorite cantrip right off the bat. I mage hand the knife out of his hand. He failed the check to keep a grip on in and I send it flying out the window, which makes a large crash. The Old Man succeeds his listen check and leaps out of bed with vigor only a Half-Orc could. Next round starts and the Wizard goes first. He spends every action he has to sprint back down the stairs. I had also told our Ranger of this occurrence and he had riled the Sailors into a drunken frenzy.

File: 1347237910760.jpg-(196 KB, 900x600, overstimulated.jpg)

>dat story

>>20664768
Oh man, part of me really hopes the DM turns him into the BBEG for the game.

>>20664768
AW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT HERE IT COMES

File: 1347238107504.jpg-(628 KB, 648x3000, 1347079839300.jpg)

>>20664683
For real man, this is shaping up to be an alright story so far. I don't know why you'd want to shit up even a thread worse than this one with meta extension crap.

File: 1347238144739.jpg-(132 KB, 308x601, 1328228826449.jpg)

>>20664768

>>20664801
nah, i hope it ends with, and the guy walked out of the flgs, walked into gamestop a female was at the counter and asks him if he needs help he falls down spegetti flying out of his pockets while he gets on the floor walks the dinosaur, which of course makes his mom scared so she sends him to live with his uncle and auntie in bel air

File: 1347238252158.gif-(49 KB, 255x318, 1338383680645.gif)

>>20664768

File: 1347238304470.png-(438 KB, 638x357, Stunned 1.png)

>>20664768
I....I can't look away. It's.... beautiful....

File: 1347238316981.jpg-(9 KB, 250x208, 1312486238876.jpg)

>>20664834

File: 1347238419084.png-(163 KB, 480x480, AMURICA.png)

>>20664768

After the wizard had been such a buzzkill earlier in the night they didn't exactly welcome him with rising tankards. More like blackjacks, bar stools and bottles. Thats when we heard just massive amounts of dice hit the table. The DM lifts his screen and shows that he had rolled initiative for each and every sailor in the bar. But they would have no action this turn so it passed to the old man who stood up fiercely, knocking the chair he sat on to the ground and shouted, "Assassin! Murderer! Coward!" Before using his move action to move into line of sight of the Wizard who was half way down the stairs. There he took a throwing axe and.. Well, threw it.

Sadly, he missed and it went sailing out a window. Then my turn came up and moved up beside the Old man and shouted the same thing but in a much less awesome way, "Assassin! Murderer! Coward!" I screamed hoping to get our sailor friends a little more riled up. By this time the new guy looked like he was about to have a heart attack, a stroke and hyperventilate all at the same time. It was glorious. While this turn didn't seem to great, the next proved to be much better for all of us. The group, the game store and I'd like to think humanity benefited in a way.

File: 1347238521492.jpg-(81 KB, 370x370, sheldon.jpg)

>>20663618
>Did I mention he's a moron? He's actually a genius when it comes to science, but he's a goddamn moron when it comes to EVERYTHING else.

>>20664916
Yes.

YES.

>>20664941
>dat nerd blackface
I for one find it horrifying to interact with people with an IQ of 160 who can't drive a car and yet hold themselves up as judge of all things.

File: 1347238677777.jpg-(16 KB, 455x342, MFW Yes Bison.jpg)

>>20664916
>The group, the game store and I'd like to think humanity benefited in a way.
>MFW

>>20664941
Actually, as much as I hate the show... Yeah.

Think Sheldon with an edgy streak. And angst.

>>20664969
>That feel when that is me
>That feel when I cant contain my spaghetti
It feels bad, man.

File: 1347238708931.jpg-(167 KB, 637x442, 1341454651381.jpg)

>>20664916
>While this turn didn't seem to great, the next proved to be much better for all of us.

>>20664941

god I hate that show. I feel bad for my friends who didn't get /fit/ with me when I was rallying the nerds in my area to start hitting the gym, as they're bitching about their families/casual friends comparing them to that fuckface

File: 1347238834943.gif-(21 KB, 350x350, 1311138018397[1].gif)

>>20664916

>>20664916
please dont be something that will be awful.
Like the wizard getting away or something.

File: 1347238891102.jpg-(769 KB, 1434x1434, 1341706029036.jpg)

>>20664916

people roleplaying anything to do with sex creeps me the hell out.

you don't roleplay taking a shit, don't roleplay any other bodily functions.

there's simply no need.

File: 1347238925721.jpg-(50 KB, 726x518, yeah.jpg)

>>20664916

As it turns out, SEVEN SAILORS and our Ranger went before the Wizard. At this point the OOC complaints are flying like rotten tomatoes at a Carrot Top show. To name a few,
>"You guys can't do this!"
>"I knew you had it out for me!"
>"This wouldn't ever happen!"
And my favorite,
>"You guys are just jealous of my character!"

So, the seven sailors began their combat. Nearly each, in their beer-induced stupor, moving into melee range. And seeing how at this point we're only level two and that he's a wizard. he went down after getting smacked in the face with a barstool, punched in the face and finally knocked out with a empty beer bottle which shattered in a spectacular fashion. A roar erupted from down the stairs as combat came to a close. The sailors took swigs of their ale and left the wizard on the steps as if nothing ever happened.

There, the party regrouped and looked at the downed member. This is where our Vampire Hating Half-Orc got a better look at the wizard.. And his chipped fang. I was about ready to squeal with excitement.

File: 1347238951726.jpg-(145 KB, 366x305, MY BODY WAS NOT READY.jpg)

>>20664916

File: 1347239007279.jpg-(28 KB, 171x158, 1333684415111.jpg)

>>20664980

File: 1347239062536.png-(31 KB, 432x400, 4.png)

>>20665027
Oh my.

>>20665020
I'm not sure what you mean. Which is your benchmark for creepiness:
>my courtesan seduces the vizier
or
>my courtesan sucks the vizier off

File: 1347239088949.gif-(1.61 MB, 450x253, 1345067573098.gif)

>>20665027
>This is where our Vampire Hating Half-Orc got a better look at the wizard.. And his chipped fang. I was about ready to squeal with excitement.

File: 1347239132684.jpg-(151 KB, 500x376, 1319856885116.jpg)

>>20665027

File: 1347239158899.jpg-(157 KB, 798x352, Good Story.jpg)

> This is where our Vampire Hating Half-Orc got a better look at the wizard.
> And his chipped fang

File: 1347239242454.png-(284 KB, 567x567, 1316308637821.png)

>>20664996
>That wonderful feeling of once I have my back stitched up on tuesday I only have to wait 2-3 more weeks before doing super amount of exercise.
I miss moving a lot.

File: 1347239268640.jpg-(93 KB, 870x471, WOAHSHIT.jpg)

>>20665027

The Half-Orc screamed.. No.. Shouted.. No, he fucking ROARED with anger. Nearly foaming at the mouth barbarian style. He picked up the Wizard by his ponytail (Did I mention he had a ponytail?) and dragged him outside. There, the Old Man detailed walking into the deserted city square and hanging the wizard by his hands on the city fountain. There he waited until he finally came to. It was a few hours later and the Half-Orc stood firm in his vigil over the knocked senseless vampire. That's when the acting classes really kicked in...

File: 1347239338858.png-(279 KB, 778x483, 1341449060612.png)

>>20665104

>>20664996
>I feel bad for my friends who didn't get /fit/ with me when I was rallying the nerds in my area to start hitting the gym

How successful were you in your efforts? Because if you had some degree of success, you should try and market your method and get some money out of it.

>>20665096
>once I have my back stitched up
The fuck did you do?

also are you the same avatarfag plaguing MG Noir threads?

File: 1347239410013.jpg-(71 KB, 476x356, 10 shit just got real.jpg)

>>20665104

>>20665104
Glorious, absolutely Glorious.
Shit's about to go down

>>20665127

You know, every time I'm in my hometown, my mom tells me the exact same thing. Honestly, I just used the stuff from the old /fit/ sticky. As for keeping to it, I literally just acted as much like a kamina/zyzz hybrid as I could. Over the top, optimistic like fuck, and unwilling to back down to the challenges. It was all a show, naturally, but I got myself and 5 other people into a healthier lifestyle in the process, and I like to think some of that phony charisma bled into being the real thing.

File: 1347239582872.gif-(44 KB, 207x237, F5 Refresh 3.gif)

>>20665104

>>20665179
You're the hero your neighbourhood deserves.

as much as I love hating on that guys, it really isn't a plausible scenario. Sure the OP sensed motive and knows what's going on. But from there, the ENTIRE BAR wants to kill this guy... because someone's yelling at him? Sailors say all that shit and worse on an hourly basis.

Additionally, are you saying seven seated, drunken sailors could keep up with a terrified, sprinting mage?

It's just not plausible

File: 1347239702026.jpg-(21 KB, 238x300, 1337640165175.jpg)

>>20665129
>Not an avatarfag
Also had a major infection near the base of my spine that got cut out last year.
Was two inches deep this will be my 3rd surgery for this fucking thing, pain is unfucking believable sometimes especially one plane trips holy fuck.

>>20665205
>are you saying seven seated, sloshed sailors could stop a scared, sprinting spellcaster?

FTFY.

i'm curious as to how the sailors knew about the murder attempt. seems kind of douchey on the DM's part.

but hey, maybe i missed something.

>>20665205
implying a diplomacy check by the ranger against drunken sailors that up dancing to convince them to kill the guy who not even 5 hours ago destroyed the door to their favorite bar, before threatening them wouldn't happen oh please take your autisim else where

File: 1347239832195.jpg-(89 KB, 488x516, No Fun Allowed 1.jpg)

>>20665205

File: 1347239833623.gif-(2 MB, 303x228, 1327647258959.gif)

>>20665104

We all looked at the Old Man as he rested his head in his hands. He took a deep breath in.. Then out... It was like the calm before the storm. Then he started. I will never forget this.

>"So. You're awake. Glad to see it. Listen. You know what's more important than anythin' in th' world? Loyalty. Honest. Bein' able ta be straight with someone. Especially one you plan on workin' with. Now, this wouldn't have changed how its endin' for ya. But ah'll be damned if wouldn't have respect th' respect the honesty. But you know what ya did? Ya never told me nothin' about ya. Which is why ah knew you were lyin'. 'Bout everything. Even the things ya didn't bother tellin' us."

He paused for a moment.

>"Now, dramatics aside. Ah was put on this world to do but one thing. Slay everyone like you. But ah'm gonna give you a fair fight. Ah ain't no monster. Not like you."

It was at this point the fighter forcefully made the wizard down a few health potions. I was taken aback by this.

WHERE'S THE NEXT PART, BUCKLEY.

>>20665231
Maybe it was the guys yelling that he was an assassin and the fact that drunken sailors will happily beat anyone up

>>20665205

Not the OP, but there are a few things that I think make it a bit plausible.

>The wizard kicked in the door of that very bar, breaking it from the hinges, and started shouting shit when the party arrived.

People aren't pleased with him. The half-orc was the one who reigned that initial shit in to avoid a conflict. Which leads to

>Entire bar wants to kill him
It's explicitly said that they left him alive. The half-orc took measures afterwards however.

>Seated, drunken sailors
A tavern is a crowded place, and pretty cramped. Assuming that there were ONLY 7 people in the tavern, there's still tables and chairs between the mage and the door.

File: 1347239893849.jpg-(32 KB, 500x375, use it wisely.jpg)

>>20665104
TYPE FASTER

File: 1347239922310.jpg-(130 KB, 705x930, Franken_Fran.jpg)

>>20665218
Ouch. Well, good thing it will be solevd soon.

Here have a sexy surgeon for your trouble.

>>20665252

And the fact that the ranger spent the evening telling the strangers how much of a cunt the wizard was and that he was scheming a brew of utter bullshit on the half-orc, who the bar had come to bro-terms with.

File: 1347239971649.jpg-(9 KB, 400x370, MFW 2.jpg)

>>20665246
>MFW this is awesome

>>20665230
Was it Rincewind?

>>20665179

Yeah, I can see why that wouldn't work on everyone. Did some of your friends have counters for your inspirational speeches, or was it just a case of them dismissing you completely?

>>20665246
Unexpected....continue please.
I made some tea to go along with this glorious recounting.

>>20665218

>that feel when I was supposed to get surgery to fix some problems in my facial muscles
>had an unexpected reaction to the keflex they gave me
>seizure the morning of the surgery, wind up convulsing hard enough to crack my head open on the wall
>5 stitches, surgery pushed back
>not allowed to drive until they run all these tests to confirm that it was the keflex and not some other issue even though no one in my family has ever had a seizure.

your story has made me feel a bit better about my circumstances. I hope that warms your heart a bit, anon.

File: 1347240192611.gif-(334 KB, 256x202, 1333773590634.gif)

>>20665270
>4 armed woman
>all dem scars
holy shit that's one of my major fetishes how did you know anon?

>>20665331
Saving that pic as "Good E nigga.gif"

>>20665316
Well at least you get a kick ass facial scar. Anyways feel sorry for you broanon hope the surgery goes well.

>>20665331
look up franken fran

>>20665331
Nope.

>>20665331
Just a wild guess~

btw: You don't know who she is?

File: 1347240501124.png-(8 KB, 231x251, xtanisscaredbythisnewbuttplug.png)

>>20665369
franken fran

>>20665353
>saving yuri pig
I shiggity diggity

>see
>>20663648
>intrigued, open thread then go do some shopping
>come back, put food away, have dinner, return to thread
>HE'S STILL NOT FUCKING DONE

wtf dude

>>20665246

The entire group knew that the wizard didn't stand a god damn chance. I mean, seriously. Level 2 Fighter against a level 2 Wizard doesn't exactly turn out well for the Wizard most of the time. But it did seem rather awesome. The DM and the Old Man exchanged glances. "I cut the Vampire fuckface down." There was a slight pause as everyone shifted in their seats. At this point the man in the counter was actively watching our group like a kid watches Saturday morning cartoons.

"Roll for initiative." Wizard rolls a 12. Fighter gets an 11 with his Improved Initiative.
>"All right, pal. Start of the round. What do you do?"
>"Fuck, I don't care anymore. This is stupid. All of you are retarded assholes. Seriously."
>"So.. What do you do?"
>"Fuck, I'll use my Magic Missile or something. God damn it, who would actually PLAY with you guys?"
>"Roll damage."
>"2."
>"Old man. You take two damage as a magic missiles flies out of the Wizard's fingers and pegs you in the upper shoulder. Anything else, wizard?"
>"No. I'm done."
>"Old man, your go. What's going on."
>"I move into melee range and swing with my greataxe."
>"Roll to hit."
>"19 vs. AC?"
>"That hits. Roll damage."
>"Uh.. Let's see. Oh 12. Plus base attack.. 15?"
>"That.. Knocks him out, actually."

>>20665388
>>20665383
>>20665369
Is it storytime? Please tell me it's story time.

>>20665408
actually it's manga

>>20665284

A lot of the ones who fell out of it weren't really that close to me. They were friends-of-friends or people from the FLGS who were interested in the idea in passing.

People just get complacent. No one really thinks getting healthy is a waste of time. It's just a matter of convincing yourself to do it. I doubt any of the bros know this, but the whole reason I started it up was because I myself was 340 pounds of neckbearded fuckwad, and needed some people around me to keep me going forward. Since I made those speeches and got centered in everything, I obligated myself to keep at it. There was no way I could not go through with it at that point.

Some people try to make excuses, but no one outright says "there's no point, it's impossible, etc."

>>20665408
She's a surgeon who believes absolutely in the sanctity of human life... No matter what body she might have to put you into to keep you alive. Lots of body horror in that series.

>>20665383
Completely forgot who she was and everything, was going to get around to reading it but now I'm definitely going to read it this week.

File: 1347240734269.jpg-(258 KB, 726x792, 1336280802343.jpg)

>>20665421
this is something of an understatement

File: 1347240740177.jpg-(65 KB, 604x453, 1344411733069.jpg)

>>20665406

File: 1347240752785.jpg-(112 KB, 418x497, FLAWLESS VICTORY.jpg)

>>20665406
>KO in one hit
>FINISH HIM

>>20665437
>>20665421
By storytime I mean that I would like someone to start posting Franken Fran

>>20665406
The fight....I can see it within the confines of my mind...And yet I still sense something more on the horizon

>>20665442
>hudda_hudda_hudda.jpeg

>>20665447
FATALITY!!!

>>20665456
Just look it up, man. It's not that damn hard.

File: 1347240921524.jpg-(199 KB, 696x510, Fran_Pondering.jpg)

>>20665456
shall we?

File: 1347240943337.gif-(1.9 MB, 324x182, dye fantasy eyes.gif)

>>20665456
Blue board=blue balls, sorry bro.
Frankenfran is pretty fucking awesome, but it's unlikely to get past the janitors and the fags with twitchy report-button fingers.

>>20665485

Not in this thread, please.

>>20665424

So no-one actually tried to counter your inspirational speeches with an argument of their own or something? Huh. Either the ones that dropped out/never started were small time, or I'm the only one who does that.

>>20665490
I've seen Franken Fran dumps on here before. Fairly recently, if I remember correctly.

>>20665497

What would you counter with, out of curiosity? It's not like I was trying to turn them all into ahnold. Most of us were trying to lose weight and get a bit stronger by lifting heavy things.

>>20665456
warning: contains ocassional graphic portrayal of gore (it's awesome regardless, or maybe because of it)
www.madaraki.com

missing last 2 volumes, but you'll get the picture

>>20665406

> tries to murder a group member
> gets caught in the act
> all of you are retarded assholes. Seriously.
> who would actually PLAY with you guys?

>>20665528

>dat gif

wh...what am I looking at here?

File: 1347241206600.jpg-(37 KB, 460x276, bill bailey.jpg)

>>20665525
Cheers.

File: 1347241221388.jpg-(42 KB, 600x404, 1325831102827.jpg)

>>20665406

And it did. After checking his character sheet again he had barely any points into Constitution and he had rolled 1 on the d4 as he leveled up. This was confusing as shit seeing as his other abilities were bonkers but I guess he never expected to get into melee range until he could try to break something else. But the wizard goes down like the whiny chump he is. And with that the Old Man takes a step forward over this corpse and performs a decapitation with his final swing.

The table went silent as the Old Man hangs nails his head to the city fountain, hisimapled with a stake, with a note attached. "I'm on my way, Yelvincas. Sleep with one dead eye open." Yelvincas was the name of the Vampires who ran one of the larger cities in the nation. His goal being to kill them and their thralls once and for all. And he had lived true to his word. He had told us this at the beginning. He had never once lied to any of us throughout the entire campaign.

Now, the Wizard didn't leave this alone. He flipped, spouting that once again "You were all against him from the start." He then proceeded to take the rule books and toss them across the store. Knocking over a huge display of board games and shattering a window. With that, the counter man stood and shouted for him to leave. After ignoring his orders he prepared to smack the old man with the DM guide. The Old Man took the blow hard but only responded back by picking him up and literally tossing him out of the game store face first. Old man paid for the damages and sat back down. I'll be damned if that wasn't the best campaign I've ever played through.

>>20665543
skullfuck murder rape I think.
Looks like she's dead before he goes in though.

>>20665543
If I had to guess... Skull-fucking.

>>20665559
What a true gentlemen

File: 1347241400778.jpg-(191 KB, 768x766, bf3dfe1a357132b85f21ca908(...).jpg)

>>20665408
Long story short, Flesh golem created by "the Professor" to be the perfect doctor, she has flawless medical knowledge, flawless dexterity and an unstoppable drive to advance the field of surgical medicine and to keep any person brought to her alive at any cost.

AT ANY COST.

She lacks any sense of ethics or understanding of the concept of human suffering or dignity. The comic is high-octane nightmare fuel at the best of times. There have maybe been two patients at most in the entire manga who have made it out of an encounter with her with their sanity intact.

>>20665559
Thank you for the fucking awesome storytime, anon - it was a pleasure to be a part of the telling of this glorious epic.

Someone screenshot it/archive it?

>>20665559
>pays for the damages.

Old man confirmed for 'This Guy.' In a thread about That Guy, This Guy glows even brighter.

May the dice Gods reward him.

>>20665559
was that guys name dave? was he a bald guy with a giant nose

>>20665559
Old Man is This Guy, the antithesis of That Guy. Please tell me more of his awesomeness.

>>20665523

Depends on the speech really. The counters are tailored to the speech, so it's rather difficult to counter in a vacuum.

>>20665559
I didn't understand what made that guy such a jerk until this. what the fuck

>>20665614
Archived for future generations

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20663459/

Remember to upvote it.

File: 1347241811136.jpg-(177 KB, 1920x1080, HOSHIT.jpg)

>>20665643

I'll give a tiny story about the short lived SR campaign I played with him. When I said browsing blackmail earlier I meant that he would get into slightly less secure domestic networks and track their traffic. See where'd they visit. Mostly it was just normal stuff. Social Networking sites, email, Dragon falling down stair vids, etc. But everyone once in awhile he snag something juicy. A executive climber cheating on his wife with his Elf neighbor and her Orc "roommate". He got some serious money through anonymous extortion and it got us into some serious trouble which he always weaseled his way out of.

>Our faces that entire game.

>>20665600
> There have maybe been two patients at most in the entire manga who have made it out of an encounter with her with their sanity intact.
Now you are making it sound like she's some kind of monster. Fran tries to help, she really does. Maybe even too hard. But yeah, she doesn't have much of a grasp oh human ethics.

>>20665708
2 + hours in the telling, it's a relatively short story and honestly not that great. There are many betters out there

screen cap?

File: 1347241950592.jpg-(160 KB, 600x450, That's what a Gentleman Does.jpg)

>>20665559
This Old Guy is a gentleman of the highest calibur. I salute him as not only a player, but as a gentleman.

>>20665677

I can't really think of an example, as most of it was just basic "You're not going down this road alone. We're not gonna get anywhere if we stop now. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. If you weren't, you wouldn't be here."

Shit like that. Nothing that was supposed to make them bow before infallible logic. Just stuff to make them try a bit harder and not be so self-defeating all the time.

>>20665559
Yes, thank you anon. The picture of That Guy flying out a door, face first, onto the curve is a heart warming one

>>20665681
Congratulations. You are also a That Guy. It may not be realized today. It may not be seen tomorrow. But someday.

>>20665766
Don't believe in yourself! Believe in me who believes in you!

>>20665766
One thing I noticed about working out, is that I felt great after 7 hours of sleep, rather than groggy after 10.
The time investment might seems bad, but you get it completely refunded and more.

>>20665787

>anon wonders why someone playing a wizard vampire with wonky stats is a "that guy"
>UR THE THAT GUY HURRR

Undoubtedly this whole story was exaggerated, or skewed, and biased. It was still a somewhat entertaining read, I just have a hard time believing that Old Man just took the OOC shit without dishing some of his own. I have a feeling he actually broke the window, because he'd have really no reason to pay for someone else's damages, even if he inadvertently caused it.

When I was 14 a schoolmate of mine started to play shadowrun, he had an older, obese brother who was 18 and 3 schoolgrades ahead of us. It was kinda cool to hang out with him, because he got his own flat, a car and could buy alchohol.
So one day he saw what we were playing and wanted to start to DM a shadowrun session with us. The first session, we played with two 14 year old girls from my class. I guess they were curious what roleplaygames are all about. I really had no clue what was going to happen. It ended with the elf chars of the girls being handcuffed in a basement and being raped by a gang of trolls repeatedly. He described this in every disgusting detail. I never spoke to the girls after this event again.
After this incident this DM played as a character, he had a superhero in mind, a blind monk who could dodge bullets, rode on his harley and wielded 2 guns. Of course our DM made him miss every bullet, soak up all enemy bullets and made him crash often with his bike, BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING BLIND! He got so pissed, he crashed himself with his bike into a wall to die so he could reroll a new char.
We broke up the contact and one year later, we heard he got caught stealing chlorine from the chemistry room of our school, his younger brother said he wanted to steal chlorine because he wanted to drug girls....

Around here we don't have much players, and so we can have 2 DMs only in the whole region. One of the DMs is a clusterfuck, but his games are amazingly fun to play. The other DM is your average 'ol DM, but he IS THAT GUY; He actively try to screw us, no matter what. Trying to talk him into something is a pain in the ass, and he is always inflicting his own fantasies down our throats. 80% of his game he kills us and the other 20% are damn boring.
We have a powergamer in our group, who can be THAT GUY if he wants to, and 90% of the time he enters THAT GUY mode, just to mess with the THAT GUY DM. The DM lose his shit, throw stuff away and gets OOC MAD. It's fabulous to watch, really.

>>20665790

Despite the kamina reference, I never actually said that one.

>>20665838
> Rolls a shitty attention whoring character
> Makes a huge mess of anything and everything
> Tries to kill party in their sleep
I don't know how dense and autistic you can be! Failing to see the light after he tried killing party members IN THEIR SLEEP can only mean that you share kindred spirits.

So yes. Enjoy being a That Guy, because no one else is willingly that stupid.

"nWoD Tzimisce otaku abusing Fleshcraft for cosplay and creation of catgirls is not a viable character concept"

I just wanted to make something that's cute and creepy at the same time. ;_;

>>20665853
I remember reading that before.

>>20665853

When guys like this turn people permanently off games with a horrible experience like that? It's somehow makes the whole thing even worse.

Also? Chlorine? Seriously? I have my doubts he could make chloroform out of it.

Anyone got a handy screencap for the best part of this thread yet?

>>20665766
>You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. If you weren't, you wouldn't be here.

That's the kind of statement I'd be all over, citing examples of how I'm exactly as strong as I give myself credit for (i.e. not at all), and throwing in a bit about my current situation being the result of my weakness. If I just had the quote you gave to go on, I'd probably add in some existentialism and suggest that technically everyone is on their own road alone due to having a unique set of thoughts and experiences, thus giving everyone a different and unique perspective going into any given event and which may ultimately determine the outcome of said event.

>>20665790

That one's easy, deny self-belief and question their motives, and whether their belief exists or whether they're just saying that as a platitude and/or to further their own ends.

We play n/oWoD, DnD, GURPS and Shadowrun. Almost al our games are one-shots, so the system is really irrelevant. And we have two that guys among us. One is a RL dick, while the other is just RL stupid. Both are IC pain in the ass. One day, we had a new player to join our group. We were going to play a GURPS game and he was asking about some of the advantages to the GM (he had never played GURPS before, only DnD). So I remember like it was today (and this is like 5-6 years old), Newguy McGee was asking how exactly the advantage of Common Sense worked:
> GM, this Common Sense. How does it works.
>Well, it's pretty straight forward. It's something that those two fuckwads over there don't have.
And then the GM point to both that guys. Newguy knew those two from school, so, yeah he immediately mastered the advantage of Common Sense. And laughed.
Five minutes later, that guy number one (the stupid) takes the book and says:
> "Hey GM, what's Common Sense. He has it. Is it any good?"
The DM drooled his eyes and looked to Newguy and me. Who laughed.
> "Read the book."
> "Ah..."
Of course he don't. Then, amazingly that guy number two (the dick) took the book from that guy number one and asked the GM:
> "Hey GM, why is everyone buying Common Sense? What does it do again?"
The GM made a facepalm while shaking his head in disaproval, and said to us all:
> "Everyone that don't understand the concept of Common Sense, cannot buy Common Sense."
Newguy and I laughed our asses of, and both that guys got butthurt and said the GM was railroading.
We laugh. More.

File: 1347243885867.jpg-(32 KB, 720x404, 1328651955575.jpg)

>>20666203

File: 1347243900437.jpg-(36 KB, 500x430, 1346205205979.jpg)

>>20665939

He tried to kill a party member because the player made him look like a fool, ICly and OOCly. Not the best course of action, in fact it's a pretty stupid one considering he's a wizard, but hey -- it makes sense ICly.

Yes, his character can be construed as "That Guy". But it's partially the DM's fault because he allowed some of it. Unless they were playing WoD, I have a feeling that a vampire template requires some sort of adjustment that they never considered.

Yes, throwing a temper tantrum at the end was uncalled for. But how much of this story is factual? We're hearing it from one side, and we cannot really determine what precisely happened due to the writer's anonymity and the fact that there's no other witnesses.

The Old Man is a vague character, and I cannot believe he just sat there and took this "That Guy's" rampage standing down. If he had the balls to create a booming speech condemning a character, I have a feeling he could also retaliate during "That Guy's" fit.

So... in automatically assuming that the story is 100% true and making your own assumptions concerning the so-called "That Guy," you have become a "That Guy" of your own. You take things at face value, never questioning whether or not this story was exaggerated or even if it was a downright lie.

And then you proceed with childish insults (the new buzzword of today - "autistic!" It replaces the always popular "faggot" of the 90s, and "retard" of the 80s!"), which wasn't really an insult at all, because if I was autistic I could be mooching the government's money and that would be awesome.

In closing, if you read all this, I hope you learned something about slinging around stupid buzz words like "That Guy" and "Autistic." If not, which is more likely, you've just proven my point.

File: 1347243979097.gif-(512 KB, 310x314, tumblr_m9ywqplcww1qdleswo1_400.gif)

>>20665559
someone...oh my god
someone please cap this
i need this story
i need to tell my children this tale

>>20666292

Yeah, frankly, I agree. In addition to your larger point, I didn't find this That Guy story at all believable. I'm sure there are kernels of truth, but whatever. Good story nonetheless, I suppose.

File: 1347244269798.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 65 KB, 604x442)

>Be 16
>playing reg D&D
>didn't really even have figures, literally just use pencils and graph paper
>besides the point
>there's 4 guys 2 girls, and that guy
>that guy thinks he's the fucking shit
>ALWAYS an Eladrin Wizard
>game day
>we all go to DMs house
>starting new characters, everything's going well
>suddenly, that guys sheet
>goblin cleric, was raised in the city, became a hero in his homeland, and came to this land in a quest for his grandfather's mighty sword that killed a god
>whatthefucknigger.png
cont.

File: 1347244278654.jpg-(102 KB, 600x500, JUST_AS_PLANNED_by_Kiriska.jpg)

It seems that I am That Guy Minoris as the OP is describing in the thread.
Anyway, here are some hilarious quotes.

"You do realize assassinating me is impossible and openly attacking you would turn any male present against you, right?"
"Too bad even if you did somehow get your hands on my money, you wouldn't be able to resist my coercion, I've got +10 diplomacy and +17 bluff against all who are attracted to me, which is to say all males, bis and lesbians."
"17-year-old female of a race that can change looks to that of a hot human and has the charming trait and 18 charisma, you do the math on the general male opinion of me."
"I'm not gonna sleep with anyone, just seduce then so as easier to manipulate them."

He is like this, he normally plays himself who is basically a godlike Norwegian who can rip people to pieces with his fists and use geomancy to do everything which is okay but this is just OH GOD PLEASE NO! He's not a furry and he's almost certainly not trolling.

>>20666292
Bro, this is /tg/. Of course its exaggerated and biased.

> "Ok guys, let's make a preposterous game and everyone can be anything from the Monster Manual. Just pick. I'll do the math"
The DM was on fire that day!
> Powergamer: "Half-Dragon/Minotaur!"
> Me: "Imma go wit an Angel of some kind."
> The Weird-O (We love him!): "Hmm, I wanna play rogue today. WHat would be good with a rogue... hmm, I wanna be a small monkey."
At this moment Powergamer and I crossed eyes and in mute silence said: WAT.
> That Guy: "I'm wanna be a Vampire/Black Dragon/Baalor/Iron Golem."
Powergamer and I crossed eyes and in mute silence said: HERE WE GO.
What followed now was that guy trying to explain how a Baalor become a vampire, crossed with a Black Dragon and then had his body constructed in an Iron Golem in ways that make no sense at all, and getting very butthurt every time the DM said something that he was not expecting or somethign agsint this bullshit. Meanwhile the DM made our characters and Weird-O played with a monkey. That guy had to stick with a Vampire, and wasn't having no fun, specially when Weird-O was having so much fun, that he was giggling and smiling just by look at his character sheet:
>"I'm a monkey!"

>>20666423

...now I kind of want to play an awakened monkey. Am I alone? He just really seems to sell it a ton of fun, I think.

>>20666423
>Not telling him that Bears make the best rogues

You are probably That Guy.

File: 1347244842697.jpg-(27 KB, 511x380, hwhdor8ler.jpg)

sorry about putting spoiler image newfag reporting
>DM allows character
>why are you doing this
>get into game, help guys goblins etc.
>going well, except for TGs character, whose destroying everything with his broken stats
>get to boss fight
>I'm about to kill the boss
>TG uses an interrupt stun ability on me.
>WHAT THE FUCK MAN
>"I want the glory of killing him"
>other people miss, on boss's turn he downs one of the females elven swordmage
>guy kills boss with broken stats, then uses move action to
>quote
>"Help heal this beautiful Elven princess. As I heal her we gaze into each others eyes, both wanting the same thing but not admitting it"
>lolwat
>fem is whatever, thanks guy for helping her up
>loot time
cont,

>>20666484
My friend was so happy that day playing with that monkey, that on our next game we all played as monkeys (powergamer was a Fighter/Monk, I was a ranger, weird remained as a rogue and THAT GUY decided that small monkey fas below him and if he had to play as an ape he had to be a power gorilla. But he wanted to be an abissal-gorilla, because he is a pin in the as, that's why.
We had great times playing with those monkeys. That Guy had to settle with a small monkey sorcerer, and again he was not amused. But we were, and fuck that guy.

>>20666484
No. I would have done exactly the same thing as Weirdo, especially since there's already an injoke amongst me and my friends about me and monkeys.

File: 1347245204205.jpg-(9 KB, 345x258, person_ashamed.jpg)

>we all split it, guy is fine with even splitting
>tries to secretly pass a note
>everyone notices
>DM passes a different note telling me to make a perception check
>roll a 22
>Guy's trying to pick my pocket of loot
>get idea, let him pick pocket
>continue on we get to town
>fem wants a horse
>not enough money
>Guy offers his(my) loot
>fem takes it, gets a horse
>Guy says "Wait! a kiss, for this deed of kindness"
>kisses him in game, he tries to drag it out
>I bump into them in game and knock them down
>everyone lols
>he looks at me with evil
>the beginning of the end

>>20666292
I don't know what neighborhood you live in where idiots kill each other over that stuff. But in a normal functioning world, if someone seeks revenge against your BLATANT asshattery you can
A) Stop being an asshat.
B) Go somewhere else.

Instead he chose C) Escalate the asshattery.

Your ONLY defense is pretending that nothing in the story actually happened. Of course the story is exaggerated. That's what /tg/ is for. But get your eyes checked. It's not a stunning revelation that a Half-Elf/Vampire Mary Sue was in fact a That Guy, when it was clearly visible from post 1.

>>20666203
Sometimes our GM goes from cooperative to competitive, and split our group between US vs THAT GUYS. And it is pretty fun to watch, because we go META (we don't give a shit, not even the GM), and we see both That Guys fucking royally during their turn, that it looks like Megatron and Starscream in the old 1980s transformers cartoon trying to defeat us. It don't get more awesome than that!

>we regroup, head back to tavern
Now our TG has a reputation for taverns, he likes to think of himself as a party animal. He also thinks there are hot chicks in all these bars that wanna get with him
>Get there, rest of group wants to continue to next day, but he says he's gonna stay downstairs and get a drink
>offers to pay for fems, she says no.
>I slip a note to DM telling him to get TG in a different room so we can stratigize
>DM slips TG a note, presumably asking if he wants to plan against me
>TG goes
>tell group TG pickpocketed me, we decide we're going to play a prank
>fem will pretend to want him, then rest of us rape him
>we're 16, rape is funny
>DM brings him back in
>he comes up and downstairs multiple times with "wenches"
>suddenly announces we hear a loud noise and screaming downstairs
cont.

>>20666618

Who said he was going to kill him? Raising a dagger above one's head may be a sign of attempted murder, but maybe he was trying to scare him.

Nice try, "That Guy." You're assuming again.

That's not my only defense. It is part of my defense, sure, but let's assume the That Guy isn't real and that he's a fictional person thought up by the writer (worst case scenario).

First off, his character isn't Mary Sue. He probably intended it to be something like that, but a Mary Sue isn't embarrassed at every turn in that way. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that his character is an Anti Mary Sue. He fails at everything he does, he has glaring flaws, and he's out of his element and lasts less than a day surviving in it, if you will, before he's promptly embarrassed yet again and executed.

Like I said, maybe he intended that character to be that way. But it didn't turn out that way, so ultimately, he's not a Mary Sue. Keep your buzzwords in check.

>we send one guy down, DM takes him and TG into different room again
>comes back alone, asks what we want to do
>we all go downstairs
>TG apparently killed the whole tavern and barricaded windows/doors
>party member is dead
>suddenly he looks at me and yells
>he attacks me, broken stats bring me to 3 hp
>my turn
>I realize there's only one way to get back at him
>I check with fem, and then proceed to kill her, with her letting me
cont.

File: 1347245892931.jpg-(40 KB, 509x385, Better than expected.jpg)

>>20666704
One day it went like that:
>Dick:"We need to get the help of the Thieves Guild, to assassinate them."
>Stupid:"We can buy poison! And poison them!"
>Dick:"We need to get to the Thieves Guild to get poison."
>Stupid:"We can make our own. We could go to the forest and collect poison plants!"
>Dick:"You can make poison?"
>Stupid:"Of course I can. I have poison skill."
And then they go to the forest, fail royally in a survival test, get lost, for some reason decided it would give them XP by killing wolves, attack wolves, loses the fight, almost die, jump in a river with a strong current, almost drown. We had to META our way to them, to help them, so they would remain alive and the game could go on. All my lols.

File: 1347246009935.jpg-(63 KB, 350x392, 1277430309533.jpg)

>>20666749
> Maybe he was just tragically misunderstood!
> Maybe he would have flourished had he not turned the whole group against him!
Nigga. Please. That's just pathetic.

>>20666749
>>20666618
>>20666292
>>20665939
>>20665838
Geez guys all I said I didn't see what made him that terrible a player until the fit at the end. Calm your hormones.

>TG is freaking out, going on about how I killed his true love
>DM makes an extra roll, no one notices
>suddenly barricades break, townsfolk and guards rush inside
>none can attack this turn
>rest of party do attacks, don't do that much damage to TG
>TG's turn, he knows he only has one chance at this
>he rolls a natural 1
>batshit
>he starts screaming irl
>in game i yell at him "MURDERER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY FAMILY?"
>guards and townsfolk attack him
>he's dead, there's so many
>whole time he's sobbing about how much time he put into character, working on backstory etc.
>healer heals girl
>he tries making new character, but he can;t break it cause groups here and DM is watching
>we killed him 6 times in total in that campaign, in end we're level 19-21 he's level 5

>>20666200

You probably think you're being clever, but if that guy is worth anything, he'd just look at you, then to the group, and say "Look at anon. Look at him well. Do you really want to be that kind of person?" If you actually live your life being that much of a buzzkill, I can't imagine you having enough of a social circle to actually play any of the games discussed on this board.

File: 1347246260770.jpg-(52 KB, 407x407, counter_argument_against_(...).jpg)

>>20666806

>white neckbeard calling me a "nigga" in my presence

>>20666780
Another occasion, same adventure:
>Dick:"GM, how they have the help of the guard so quick like that?"
>GM:"He's a cleric of Pelor and he is a Paladin of Heironeous. And both had send a message that they would be coming to town to help with this crisis situation."
>Dick:"Fuck, we need to forge something like that."
>Stupid:"I know forgery."
>Dick: Them forge papers, and make us important people!"
>Stupid:"I'll forge papers GM, and make us importat people!"
>GM:"Important how?"
>Dick:"Ambassadors! We are ambassadors of some big kingdom. With nobility titles and shit."
>GM:"Ok, but you will need some kind of sigil, to do that. There's no way to get something like that in the market."
>Stupid:"We steal one!"
And then they proceed to enter the estate of a nouble to try to steal a noble ring, to forge a a sigil, and them they proceed to fumble epicaly, attacking the noble's daughter in panic, failing at pin her down, having to run from the city, because everyone was after them. They even made posters with wanted and offered rewards.

I feel lucky reading this, I don't have a that guy in my group, we're all just sort-of mediocre roleplayers so I suppose we have our "That Guy" equally distributed among everyone.

Also, yes, I know that probably means I'm "That guy", thought it seems unlikely as i'm the DM who has actively pursued feedback repeatedly.

>>20665218
Are you me?

>>20666423
I wish I had awesome DMs like that. I wouldn't mind trying out a Xorn just to see how much of a pain in the ass it would be.

>>20666927
Wow! How privileged you must be to have Abbot and Costello playing in your group!

>>20666423
Different game, our DM arrives and says.
>Guise, guise! I just saw a He-Man video in youtube and it reminded me how He-Man was awesome back in the day! We're gonna play He-Man today! Who wanna be He-Man?
>Powergamer: "I'm He-Man!"
>Me: "Hmmm I can be Man-At-Arms. He kicked ass."
>Weird-O: "Orko!"
Powergamer and I crossed eyes and in mute silence said: Of course!
>That Guy:"Why can't I be He-Man?"
>GM:"You would do He-Man wrong!"
Powergamer and I crossed eyes and in mute silence we said: YOU GOT TOLD!
Then That Guy proceeds in complaining and getting all butthurt, and he settle downs with being Ram Man, because he was butthurt and it wouldn't make no difference at this point.
We had fun, even with That Guy trying to sell us out to Skeletor, or trying to steal He-Man's sword and even trying to attack The Sorceress.

File: 1347247626734.jpg-(2 KB, 126x99, Tobias Funke Blue Man.jpg)

>>20666871
>white
But he just blue himself

>>20667140
Eh, I don't know who those two are.

>>20666292
I'm sorry you were'nt born autistic. Since your life would be so much better if you were. Really sucks for you that you werent brought into this world with a debilitating mental disorder.
The anon you responded to was wrong to use it as an insult. But you are one messed up individual to think youd be better off with autism. Ive never met anyone who wished theyd have problems with identifying with anyone on an emotional level and piss and shit themselves on a daily basis.
Seriously.
Go fuck yourself.

File: 1347247918036.jpg-(74 KB, 438x349, Pffftccchhh.jpg)

>>20667182
>GM:"You would do He-Man wrong!"
>YOU WOULD DO WRONG
>MFW

File: 1347247974595.jpg-(41 KB, 322x240, tripping balls.jpg)

>>20667239
>>20667182
IMAGE VERY RELATED!

>>20665316
hey wait you're the guy with the eyebrows that don't move right?

>>20667210
Are you serious? You're missing out, man.

File: 1347248090717.jpg-(31 KB, 320x240, bulkandskull.jpg)

>>20666927

>>20667255
Nope, sorry.

>>20667210
Never mind, I like the Megatron and Starscream comparison better.

>>20667265
Fucking perfect

>>20667265

That seems about right.

>>20666927
These guys sound too hilarious to be That Guys.

>>20667348
Are we sure they're not acting this way on purpose? If I had a friend, I would totally do this just to screw with the 'serious' players.

>>20665708
This wasn't worth archival.

>>20664831
Gonna need sauce on that pic.

>>20666927
>>20666780
Both of these plans sound totally reasonable. I applaud their initiative.

>>20667366
There is that, too. I would idiot bro it the fuck up if I had a proper wingman. After all, in some groups, the kind of guy who says I want to “play a monkey!” would be That Guy.

>>20666927
Another occasion, same adventure
>Dick:"GM, we're gonna prep an ambush in the woods, for them."
>Stupid:"Yeah, I'm an ambusher".
>GM:"SURE you are. Because that never went wrong before."
GM Meta Common Sense pass undetected!
>Dick:"We were low levels."
>Stupid:"YEAH!"
>GM:"Ok, what kind of trap?"
>Dick:"Holes and stakes."
>GM:"And how you're gonna dig?"
>Stupid:"With shovels!"
>GM:"You two retarded sold all your equipment aside from your weapons."
>Dick:"Shit, yeah. Fuck! Well, we'll dig with our weapons!"
>Stupid:"Yeah!"
>GM:"You're telling me you both retards are gonna dig with a mace and a crossbow?"
>Dick:"Fuck you! We use our hands!"
>Stupid:"This gonna take long, right?"
>GM:"Oh boy, you have no idea."
We cracked in small laughters.
>Dick:"Stop laughin retards. We gonna fuck you right up, and take all your stuff."
>GM:"So nightfalls and-"
>Dick:"Woah, wait, nightfalls? Fuck it, where are they? Where's my trap?"
>GM:"Well, you made a fucked up hole with tiny stakes."
>Stupid:"But I didn't rolled for-"
>GM:"It doens't matter. I gave you an automatic success."
>Dick:"Wait, why? Where are they?"
>GM:"In the city".
We started cracking.
>Dick and Stupid:"What? How?"
>GM:"He's a druid you fucking ignorant, didn't I told you what druids could do in this Magical Woods?"
>Dick:"Fuck! They teleported by the trees!"
>Stupid:"When did you said that?"
>GM:"When you arrived. You knew that BEFORE the druid. That guy in the inn told you, both."
We laughed hard.
>Dick:"Fuck!"

>>20667492
I think you labled “Dick” wrong. These guys sound like a blast and a half and here you are calling them retards at every turn and refusing to allow them to dig with their maces.

No anon, you are That Guy.

>>20667492
Bulk and Skull would be proud

File: 1347249359423.png-(1.25 MB, 1209x1556, Megatron_and_Starscream_b(...).png)

Liek I said.
>Megatron and Starscream in the old 1980s transformers cartoon
Pic related.
Dick and Stupid.

>>20667520
I'm not the DM.

>>20667520
You're missing the posts, man. When the GM split us, those two fuck up royally, because by themselves they suck balls. When we are all together they try to steal, cheat, lie and hurt everyone of the group all the time. But when we play separate it's fun to watch, because the yare terrible. They are not that bad, but they are That Guy because of what thet try to do with the rest of the group. When they're group members.

The only real That Guy in our group is a notorious rules lawyer powergamer. He's a veritable encyclopedia of every little tidbit of DnD information, but god help you should you so much as think of deviating from Gygax's holy handbooks. It can get to the point where he will argue with the DMs about little bits and pieces.

Make a god specifically for the campaign? Nope, not how the gods work here, he can't do that, it's all wrong. Some generic evil lich lady can bring back the dead? Without the help of divinity? Immediately gets called a shitty DM, and he'll threaten to fuck everything up and quit. Making a relatively casual campaign, mostly random skirmishes to pass the time between the serious campaigns? He'll flat out tell you that he's going to be a min-maxing powergamer, and that you're stupid for asking him not to ruin anything. That's alright, I'm just using the core rulebooks, you're an asshole because you won't let me build the way I'm telling you I want to build this guy.

There's a nice guy somewhere in there, under a few layers of aspergers and asshole, but god help me I'm having trouble seeing him.

>>20667005
maybe.