I'll take it from your silence you're waiting for some violence.

So sit a spell, let me ring my bell, it's gonna tear through your torso like a shotgun shell, like cockle shells in the barrier reef, if I hit you one time you're gonna swallow teeth!

Somebody get /sp/ in here
Lets decide this on the battlefield.

BZZT

GROOVE: WEATHER

SHADE: ANIMAL

>/sp/ being able to rap

they can't even get girlfriends, they are the most beta board on 4chan

>>21020664

Your meter's a bit lacking, similar to your appeal
Allow me to explicate to you, whilst your show I steal
To make this interesting to /tg/ then you need some sort of game
Instead you're acting like it's /b/ and letting "randumb" take the reigns.

Your rhyme scheme is repetitive
And your meter's very plain
I know that sounds insensitive,
But to read you is a strain
Some variance in cadence
And an alternate refrain
Will lend you much-sought creedence
(And make you seem like you have a brain)

>>21020672
My rhymes will leave you burning on a funeral pyre! This stage is a crime scene, it ain't The Wire! Like a jedi master my lyrics are venerated, step to me and get incinerated!

>>21020729
Good show old boy, who let Pops out? This ain't Regular Show, this a real bout! William Fake-Speare, get out the woods cuz wolves can taste fear!

/sp/ can rap?

Laughingsoccermums.pdf

>>21020764
Your rapping's plain, but you're no Stark
You talk of wolves, but you're all bark
Lost the forest for the trees,
You cannot compete with me
You're being serious but for me this is just a pleasant lark.

The enter key might help you out
If you can find it with your stunted brain
A thought I entertain with doubt
Your lack of skill shows in the main.

You call me pops, but if I'm aged
It's gracefully, like finest wine
My meter is silken down the page
While yours is choppy waste of time

Here's a concept to help you more:
the idea of a Syllable
Try to bring them to this dueling floor
If it's not too difficult

>>21020840
"Served" Does not even begin to describe this.

>>21020840
That last quatrain didn't even rhyme! Haha! Refrain from wasting more of my time! There's no T in syllable; the only T I see is your headstone, you're pitiful! Talkin' about I ain't Tony Stark? I'm the Iron Man, you're white trash in the trailer park! You're the mark, and I'm the con-man, my rhymes cut like a beamsaber on mobile suit gun-dam.

You come to teegee, this is no TV,
so you say Really? Ya rly, son,
are you so tan, or is it the light?
Not all to bright? Let's get this right:
Vampires need feeding.
You might just start bleeding,
for it is these nights,
on internet sites,
that you pick the fights
poorly like Powerpoint slides.
But please don't be shy
and try not to lie
directly to my
face.
Cuz in times of need
you hear me shout
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
And then you die.

>>21020926
*audience booing*

>>21020949
For a tactical genius, you should beat a retreat
The only thing you're sneaking in is a brutal defeat
Send you screaming "CREEEEEED!" back to the rear
Your guardsmen will be whimpering in fear

Your meter's as sloppy as the first pretenders
You lightweight chump, you're no pretender
Powerpoint Slides? More like Speak-n-Spell Lite!
I'm surprised you've the balls to stand up and fight

Try and keep your ineptitude out of my way
While I win the field for /tg/ this day.

>>21020926
"Tony Stark", you say? Do you even lift?
You're not well-versed enough to persist in this
Endeavor that you've foolishly started
I hope you enjoy being thoroughly thwarted

And to talk on white trash? Cauldron, meet kettle
Your rapping is useless and without any mettle
I suggest you step down and leave graciously
Before I beat you like Jim Lehrer wants to beat Romney.

No introduction needed, to the battle I make haste
My opponents to grind to finest paste.
Your bones will be crushed, to make my bread.
I'd tell you to beware, but you're already dead.

I don't like to boast, nor badger, nor brag.
but my rhymes, in modern times, are most oft described as 'swag'.
In opponents you'd do well for me not to choose
'cause If we begin brawling you've no choice but lose.

>>21020906
>>21020954
In the coliseum, I have the crowd's favor
Their jibes and catcalling give this fight flavour
Your kind words inspire me to audacious lengths
Watch as my verbal flourishes embellish my strengths.

>>21021053
A challenger appears! I can't contain my glee
Finally someone who can keep pace with me!
A puntastic name tag, and a brilliant introduction
I think this will make for a spirited discussion!

"Fee fi fo!" You cry, bring out nursery rhymes
I'm sorry, little boy, is it past your bedtime?
Let me put you to sleep with a sly little sonnet
As the audience crowds round to tell me I've won it.

>>21020949
I don't listen to Creed, they suck like you.
"With Arms Wide Open," that's you when you're with a dude.
Talkin' bout vampires, that's YOUR fetish, not mine,
Yeah I got a tan, stop reading Twilight.
Picking fights like Powerpoint? I punch like a Powerpuff.
Don't step to me cuz frankly you ain't got the stuff.

Yo, my name doesn't matter
but i'm a mother fucker
I roll nat 20 and the blood starts to splatter
get a triple 6, start dealing crit hits
You'll need more than saving throws just to deal with this

I'm tapping that ass like I tap my mana
Such a dope knight they call me sir marijuana
wrap up a boss fight head to benihana's
flows so tight I don't need commas

>>21021178
My God! You found the right key! But you got the wrong Creed!
Line breaks can't disguise that you're the wrong kind of breed
To battle on /tg/, you don't know what you're saying
You're not trying to be funny, but I assure you, you're slaying
You've got me in stitches! You'll put me in traction!
But laughter's the wrong kind of rap-battle action
You talk about lacking the backbone? You're the perfect example
For sub-par ability, we can look to you for a sample.

my dick is so hard you guys

>>21021204
You can only make 20s if you roll d100
Your rapping ability is awful, it's stunted!
No Lannister imp, you're a hollow pretender
You try to front like a felon, but you're a first-time offender

The only way you're "dope" is you deserve to be stoned
With rocks to shatter and splinter your bones
Eschewing common grammar gets you no points for style
Frankly no commas makes your rapping read like bile.

>>21021213
What's that? Can you hear me down there in Rap Hell?
I don't gotta battle someone who rhymes words with themselves.
Pretender and pretender? You could have been a contender,
But at this rate I wonder how you'll last the winter.

>>21021245
Mine too, anon.
Not really, but I'm flattered.

>>21021103
Little boy? Still better than ragged ass crow
You ain't got enough blue mana to counter my flow.
Great thing about your name, you're soon gonna eat it.
Once your fans let you know how well you've been defeated.

Gonna turn lands sideways, my spell to unfold
I'll place upon you a curse of deaths hold.
Your rhymes wont survive the negative one toughness,
Though I'm sorry, is this considered unnecessary roughness?

>>21021103
Little boy? Still better than ragged ass crow
You ain't got enough blue mana to counter my flow.
Great thing about your name, you're soon gonna eat it.
Once your fans let you know how well you've been defeated.

Gonna turn lands sideways, my spell to unfold
I'll place upon you a curse of deaths hold.
Your rhymes wont survive the negative one toughness,
Though I'm sorry, is this considered unnessesary roughness?

>>21021247
You caught my sloppy typo- should I give you bonus points?
You still come up short on this rapping invoice
Want to talk winter's chill? Oh, Winter is Coming.
But permafrost's nothing, it's my rapping that's stunning
Frostbite is warmer than my icy disdain
For your lack of ability (which is nearly a shame)
I'd find you contemptible if you weren't so hilarious
Now excuse me while I get downright nefarious.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyting

ahh, the noble flyt, truly the sport of kings

>>21021279
okay, I'll give it to you, that was good.

And then a skeleton came out.

>>21021292
seriously? he raps like someone with asperger's. "nefarious"? who uses words like that?

>>21021282
ten star post sir.

>>21021322
Actually, rappers will often use big-wrods just because it adds to the flow.

Snoop Dogg learned every mothafuckin' word in the dictionary.

>>21021270

If you're tapping furiously, it means you need counterspells
What's the matter, Jace- arsenal been dispelled?
Are you good with taxonomy? Or is Google your friend?
Don't forget, crows have beaks, and talons that can rend
But I'd hate to make a mage bleed- Oh, Heaven forfend!

Curses of Death? Please, Rook is death's courier!
You're too busy to be hexing, you're too much of a worrier
You say you've got my toughness down, but you don't have my stats
If you want unnecessary roughness, let's take it to the mats.

Oh- wait- you're a wizard. You can't hold up to a brawler!
If you step up and fight me, you be left as a crawler.
Do you want to take this ringside? Or do we need to continue
With some snippy, witty sparring so I can challenge- and win- you?

>>21020578

It's /mu/, now somebody please prune this.

>>21021292
Thanks, anon.

>>21021322
Oh, I'm sorry. Should I go back to cro-magnon speech? Will that make it easier for you to read? Protip- vocabulary. Learn it, love it, use it.

>>21021247
Shity cadence and tried to rhyme contender with winter.
BOOOOOOOOOO.

>>21021279
>>21021262
>>21021367
YEAHHH.

>>21021279
You think you're cold? You're about to get colder.
Cuz my rhymes, though bold, are about to get bolder.
In this rap game I'm a wiz,
Cuz there ain't nothin' colder than aardvark jizz.
Aardvark cum is negative degrees.
Thought freon was cold? Fucking, please.
An aardvark's squirt is to be feared,
Icicles dripping down your ol' neck beard.
Their cum is colder than Alaskan wastes.
You think that's ice cream? How's it taste?
Aardvark dicks will freeze you still!
They get their dinner from big ant hills!

>>21021375
This thread is great though.

Both Corvus and Jayze.

File: 1349580232550.jpg-(53 KB, 640x480, sameperson lupin.jpg)

>>21021386
>tries to rhyme "syllable" with "difficult"
>calls someone out for rhyming "contender" with "winter"

>>21021412
What the fuck?
Seriously, what the fuck?

Also, still shit syllable balance.

>>21021412
I don't even.. what? Huh? well you are not getting a boo from me... I am not sure what to give

>>21021279
Nefarious? as it is your position's precarious
On the lip of a tragic slip, A thrill best left vicarious.
for only one mana as black as the night.
Into the grave goes one Crow, without the power of flight.

>>21021468
Also so had no idea that is how you made trips

File: 1349580499005.gif-(762 KB, 300x170, 1341024428477.gif)

>>21021427
Ahahahaha. Nope.

>>21021412
Aardvark semen? I think you told us your fetish
I'm trying not to judge you but man, that's pathetic
Freon is nothing to my stone-cold flow
Don't worry, I'll teach you- yes, first-hand you'll know
Just exactly what kind of massive devastation
You're in for- I hope you can handle the frustration.

It's sad you've had to stoop so low when your verse is unrelated
Whoever told you that you're skilled has you badly overrated
And you're also overmatched, not to mention outwitted
Now you're losing your train of thought- are you that discomfited?

>>21021468
Don't give a boo, give a "brrrrr!"
And wrap yourself in layers of fur!
Cuz when aardvark cum hits your skin,
It chills your bones like arctic wind!
When you think all hope is lost,
Their semen cuts like winter's frost,
And leaves your extremities chapped and blue!
I'm an aardvark, bitch, aren't you one too?

>>21021489
It ain't no fetish, it's a fact of life.
Aardvark jizz cuts like a knife.
If that vark-juice hits your face
Your whiskers will be froze in place!

>>21021375
no way this thread rules

beside rhyming insult games ARE traditional as illustrated by >>21021282

plus killer references all over the place.

this thread rules \m/

>>21021478
Zoica is Rising, and so's the Storm Crow
Batten the hatches, can you handle this blow?
You might be a blue mage, but here's a new kind of tempest
Fragile mana can't shield you from breaking waves these tremendous
Vicarious thrills? You won't find them here
This battle is present and visceral and clear

(I'm sorry, that verse sucked, my girlfriend insisted on involving me in a conversation and I lost my train of thought.)

>>21021367
first off a side note... I really need to refresh before posting, anyway, to arms!

You sure want to brawl? I got green magic on my side,
though my name may be blue, I got multi-color pride.
A master of mana of all colors and forms,
I'm a pre-revisonist walker son, God like is the norm.
If you think you can win, truly my spells you disdain
but don't think that my magic can not be your bane.
From fire and Damnation, to the pure Wrath of God,
In wake of this destruction, any survivors will be awed.

>>21021282
>Flyting is a ritual, poetic exchange of insults practiced mainly between the 5th and 16th centuries.
>image depicts gods cheerfully insulting each other over dinner
The ritual part may be gone, but I know when I'm with my Danish relatives some form of it lives on.

>>21021516
>He says I have whiskers
You think I'm a furry?
I'm not the one fucking Aardvarks in a flurry!
Cuts like a knife? Talking about my words?
Honestly, just give up, this is getting absurd.
Look like Arthur's grown up- but you're sleeping with cartoons?
Man, you're absolutely the worst kind of weeaboo.

>>21021650
Whiskers is another word for beard/mustache.

>>21021650
>Man, you're absolutely the worst kind of weeaboo.
What? This line totally dropped the cadence you had going.

>>21021615
Original Planeswalker? Bitch, I'm 'walking like Urza
Powered by more hate than Konrad Curze
Blue and green mana? An interesting mixture
Red, White and Blue is a little more my fixture
I summon everything from Hominids all the way to Hurloon
And if I throw a kicker on my Rage I'll shatter the moon!
I tackle nightmare machines, next to Phyrexians you're worthless!
I'm the most powerful 'Walker, do you really think you can hurt this?
Let me unleash my Legacy, I'm dropping the Hammer
I don't see your posse backing you up, but I got Karn and god Gerrard!

>>21021669
Yeah. I fucked up on that one, nowhere near enough syllables. I'm saving my better efforts for Jaise- he's actually good at this, unlike OP.

File: 1349581900279.jpg-(148 KB, 1024x640, Epic Rap Battles of TG History.jpg)

>>21021322
Somebody who don't want their rhymes to repeat
Looks like you need educatin', so just take a seat
Now watch the real wordsmiths, you uncultured bumpkin
If you shut the fuck up and listen, you just might learn somethin'.

>>21021375
Sounds like someone don't know
that they're talking sedition
'bout our ancient tradition
the old coalition
DJ Phylactery, MC Sword'n'Board
Just to name two that we once called Rap Lord

Our titanic rap battles
used to bring down the house
Epic threads in great number
rhymes nobody could douse

But those halcyon days
Got lost in the maze
of the mental haze
so we went separate ways

Still, through Eternal September
We of /tg/ remember
that time when a lich and fighter came by
and brought a tear to the eye
of every fa/tg/uy

Even Mootles himself
approved of this situation
since he gave a station
on the eyecatch rotation
to some brilliant drawfagging
of the very first thread:
one badass pally
facing off with undead

So if you don't think these threads belong here on /tg/
You should probably get your punk ass back to /b/
But if you insist upon staying, you mouthy young pup,
Take my advice to the first guy
and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

File: 1349582070822.jpg-(13 KB, 284x275, 1294353664915.jpg)

>>21021708
You know what, Imma let you have this one, I need to work tomorrow and as fun as this is.... paycheck. good night sir, you are a scholar and a gentleman.

>>21021731
Now this is a guy who knows what's going on!
Shame to our short sonnets, he's composed a whole song!
Rap Lord is a title to which someday I'll aspire
(Especially if I get something like those two's bitchin' attire)

I know I'll draw no tears as this draws to a close
I just hope that you fa/tg/uys enjoyed deviation from prose
After this I'll drop my name, once more be anon
And leave this a cherished memory, past and gone

But I thank you, oh virtuous paragon of rap
For raising the standards from OP's load of crap
And may I add I approve of your heartfelt defense
Of my vocabulary (erudition's the best!)

So thank you again from the bottom of my heart
Now excuse me while I continue to tear OP apart

File: 1349582322315.jpg-(275 KB, 1216x600, angry marine brofist.jpg)

>>21021754
You're fuckin' awesome yourself, man.
GREAT fight. Nice to have had an elegan/tg/entleman such as yourself to go up against.

>>21021780
Been a pleasure watching you.

>>21021844
Been my pleasure to compete. Thanks for cheering me on!

Should this thread be archived?

>>21021898
I dunno, is it that good?

>>21021731

You.

I like you.

>>21021913
Yes. Yes it is.

>>21021982
Excellent.

>>21021913
>>21021898
Sure, I reckon so. It's by far the best rap thread we've had in a long time.

File: 1349583520648.jpg-(74 KB, 200x200, Sheriff_J.W._Pepper_by_Cl(...).jpg)

>>21021994
I reckon yer right, boy!

The best thread I read on TG in months.

>>21022061

Hell yeah, it's moments like these that keeps me here

>>21021780
>>21021958
Thanks. I normally don't get involved too much in these threads, because I can't come up with rhymes quickly enough to produce something good and have it not be twenty posts too late.

But there's some shit that just can't be allowed to stand unchallenged.

>>21021994
Kinda short for archival, but if it's been as long since the last rap thread as it seems, probably good to.

>>21022122
I agree. Rap battles aren't what I expect to make for good threads on /tg/... but I couldn't let OP get away with his bullshit.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/21020578/
Ere ya go gents

In case anyone is still wondering what the fuck's up with aardvark cum:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8HXGmqWBHw

File: 1349585293093.png-(179 KB, 975x2103, Corvus n' Jaize.png)

Capped Corvus n' Jaize for posterity.

>>21022329
>trying to write sonnets in a rap battle
>rapping about Magic the Gathering

It's like an autism battle. Seriously, not even slam poetry is this embarrassing.

File: 1349585753181.jpg-(111 KB, 270x378, fl_duel_of_haiku_medium.jpg)

>Rap battles
>Not /tg/
Do you fuckers even play CCG's?

Pic related

>Playing my cavalry deck against a dueling deck
>My attacking unit are war dogs
>Enemy plays Duel of Haiku
>Duels my war dogs at haiku
>Dogs can't haiku for shit, lose duel
>He plays an artisan
>Builds a statue of his glorious victory over my dogs
>Gains 5 honor total
>Wins game

HOLY FUCK I MAD

>>21022423
Maybe you shouldn't have made your war dogs a personality, but instead a follower. Also:

> losing to dueling honour
> Emperor Edition

What the actual FUCK is wrong with you?