Also, ignore the section of the image that refers to "rules". That is a remnant from when the picture was used as a "choose your path" pic. Dice rolls will be made by me once a ritual has been decided upon.

>>21164535
Are we in a modern setting or fantasyland or what?

Been waiting for this since you mentioned it in the
>"choose your path" pic
thread a while back.

I vote randomize. No sense getting attached to a character if he is just going to die while we figure out wtf we are doing.

>>21164625

Modern.

>>21164641
Hipster barista with a B.A. in Art History and disappointed parents

>>21164657
good as anything.
seconding this.

You are Roxie Cohan, a hipster barista with a B.A. in art history and disappointed parents.

As is predictable for one with this description, you are broke. You have only recently moved out of your dorm, only to realize you really have nowhere else to go. You sleep at the bar where you are employed for now until you can get enough to afford an apartment, which you hope to be soon as you dislike taking advantage of your boss’ generosity.

More recently, you have found The Grimoire. You overheard some bar patron rambling on about some magic he had discovered, and all the crazy things he was going to do with it. A fight ensured and he demanded the aggressor meet him outside. That was the last you saw of either of them, and when you checked the ally bordering the bar you found only scorch marks and the large book you now hold in your hands, sitting in the empty bar.

Having seen the results of what must have been some kind of magic yourself, you have little doubt about its power and are excited to be a part of something so mysterious and unique! Unfortunately, you will probably need help on your way to becoming a powerful witch. . . perhaps one of the summon able creatures will be helpful?

>>21164750
Summon a spryte!

Get somewhere private first, though

>>21164782
This.

Rolled 68

>>21164750
Be sure to summon something relatively weak and not smart enough to backstab us. The idea is that it serves us, not the other way around.

Rolled 73

>>21164782
sounds good to me

Nah, let's stay here. The bar proper will be nice and sturdy if we have to duck.

And it's a good place for spirits

Rolled 46

You quickly decide you want to summon a Spryte. You bet every other person to get their hands on this tome went straight for the demons or undead. So typical, you bet you will be the first to recognize the subtle beauty of the Sprytes that was probably too deep for the average warlock.

You head into the celler, which though poorly lit is a much more secluded spot than the bar floor. You wish you had someplace to go that wasn't the bar period, but you don't know of any such place for now, and are eager to get to it. Besides, a cellar makes a badass place for. . . it is a metaphorically saturated place for a witch to begin her journey.

You inscribe the necessary runes on the floor with wet-erase marker and begin the chant. . .

Oh, God, I want to play but the MC is intolerable.

File: 1350490720403.jpg-(8 KB, 306x165, images (4).jpg)

>>21164865
I'M SINGING, AND I'M IN A CELLAR AND I'M SINGING.
I'M IN A CELLAR AND I'M SIIIIINGGGGGINGGGG.
See it's easy.

Rolled 64

>>21164865

What you see is certainly magic. The air from the center of the rune circle upwards seems to shatter like glass to reveal a technicolor world with floating islands of comprehensible reality. Tiny creatures zip around this vacuum, which you guess must be sprytes. Unfortunately none seem to be pulled into the portal you have created, and it soon closes.

You sigh in frustration. and go over the runes some more. You realize there needs to be something to pull the creature in that you must have missed. . . but you see no such invocation in the instructions. You may either try again, try again borrowing a pulling invocation from another ritual, or try something else.

>>21164890

Focus on how satisfying it'll be to see how deep she is once we can see her intestines.

>>21164908
>>21164912
THIS PLEASE MISTER.

>>21164912
Yep
try again

>>21164912
Is there anything written from previous owners?

>>21164912

How different are the pulling rituals for each different creature? Do they vary much?

>>21164912
Try again

Rolled 6

You huff and decide it is probably better not to improve the incredibly dangerous magic until you know more about it, kind of like how no one should ever dare to create art without a degree in such a subject.

You find yourself humming a odd tune that suddenly appears in your head. Something about the fact that you are currently in a cellar doing chants and whatnot, huh.

You finish going over all the runes and double checking all the procedures and begin the chant anew.

*A second failed summoning will result in a random misfortune.

Why don't we practice with an imp? It's by far the easiest thing to bind. Granted, it's not going to be much help, but we are faced with zero obstacles or challenges right now, so I don't think optimization is our biggest concern. Let's do our first summon with the training wheels.

>>21164953

ADVENTURE TIME.

Looks like we're gonna be some fucked up Changelings guys.

Someone get the book.

Rolled 89

>>21164931
The OP is notes from the previous owner (not counting the original owner, who's writing you cannot understand).

>>21164936
It is hard for you to say. In hindsight you believe attempting this would have been a bad idea.

>>21164953
although it seems you have worse things on your mind. . .

>>21164953
Hooray for random misfortune.

Also for the record /tg/ tends to like rolling their own dice.

File: 1350491239025.gif-(890 KB, 250x208, 1350026389974.gif)

>>21164953
YESS

>>21164953
Oh man, I kinda liked this asshole MC

>>21164953
Well this has to be one of the shortest lived player characters in a /tg/ quest. Should we start rolling up the owner of the bar for when he inevitably finds a large bloodstain and the grimoire?

You open the portal a second time and are immediately please to see a Spryte hovering nearly within arms reach just inside the portal. She is facing you already, apparently having waited here since the last portal closed to see if another would open.

"Greetings spirit of the uni. . ."

Your pretentious greeting is interrupted by the Spryte suddenly grabbing your sweater by the neck and yanking you into the portal.

fuck.

The book is in your hand, but you remember a warning something about how other creatures can do some serious shit with the grimoire. Perhaps humanity will be better off if you leave it on earth, sacrificing your only real chance of escape for the safety of all?

Nah

You look up, having fallen on your knees, to see the Spryte still hovering just above you with a very satisfied smirk.

[cont]

also I understand /tg/ prefers rolling their dice, and I would like for it to be done that way as well, but I couldn't think of a way to do it without averaging the results (which would mess stuff up)

Rolled 85

>>21165019
Perhaps the first roller?
Roll for seduce.

>>21165019
You could just do first roll, 3rd or some other specific roll, highest roll, or lowest roll.

>>21165019
Either take the first roll or best of first 2 or 3
When averaging it always comes to 40-60

"yay! are you a warlock!?" The Spryte asks in a extremely high pitch and rapid voice.

"Warlocks are guys" You protest, rising, "and also sounds cliche as fuck."

The Spryte's eyes widen, as though noticing your size for the first time.

"ooooh. . . Your a man!" It shouts.

"I. . . What? No I'm. . . Wait you mean like 'mankind' man? That is so sexist. The term is humans. We can't just be categorized by. . ."
Your interrupted by her tugging the book.

"Give it to me!" It shouts.

You consider just grabbing the creature, or flicking it very hard. But then again it is supposed to be magic, in which case it may be best not to anger it.

(from now on I'll do first roll after a roll is requested)

Rolled 11

>>21165067
>>21165029
This.

>>21165086
Whoops, didn't mean to roll.

>>21165067
Attempt to match its excitement with giddy playfulness of your own.

People always try to act all serious around mischievous fairies and it never turns out well.

>>21165067
Don't give it to her!

Rolled 75

>>21165067
"Get off me you sexist pig!"

Hold on to the book and attempt to inform the sprite about the wonders of feminism.

>>21165067

Ask if there's any sort of summoning magic that can summon humans. Or men. Whatever. Being uptight around a fairy never ends well, so let's please drop that. Point of this is, if we can open up a portal between our world and this one to bring someone through, we can figure out a way to make it work in reverse.

You decide some diplomacy is in order. "diplomacy" has always been one of the few things going for you in life, after all. The Grimoire implied all Sprytes were female, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to assume you may be able to, "diplomance" the situation.

"Yah! I'm a huMan! Are you a fairy! I love the wings, cause they match the background of this place. The place I'm from is so dull." you say, getting down on your knees so as to be eye level with the creature, and swaying just slightly to see if you can get any extra appeal.

Unfortunately it was impossible for you to hold onto the grimoire without harming the creature, and with your desire being to befriend it you had to let go.

Fortunately it seems to work. The Spryte, though holding the book, does nothing aggressive and simply props it up to sit on while facing you.

"REALLY! I've never been anywhere but everywhere! We need to go back you yourwhere!"

"YES!" You shout, trying to make it sound more like her perpetual glee than "im not going to die" relief.

"here, give me the book. I'll show you some of my magic! and then we can go to mywhere! I'm certain I can make the magic go in reverse!" you say.

The spryte seems to think about it. "I like you." It says. "We are going to go back to yourwhere and you get to be my familiar!"

"YES! wait wh. . ."

Before you can finish the sentence, the portal from before reopens and the Spryte flies through.

"hey wait!" You shout, stumbling after her. Suddenly realizing you are standing directly in the middle of a summoning circle with the spryte standing above the opened grimoire and chanting excitedly.

fuck

[Character Change Imminent]

Rolled 82

>>21165201
Voting for the new character to be the Barista's boss.

30-something baseball washout who attempted to be a family man, but couldn't be loyal to his wife for the world.

>>21165213
Didn't mean to roll...

>>21165213
I like the sound of that.

You are Sighsinger! A Spryte of the Pearlgleam Wyld. Your personality is all over the place! You are as impulsive as can be imagined, perpetually cheery, and simultaneously horribly vindictive.

You just got a Grimoire! Yay! And a man familiar! Awesome! You can't very well do with having a familiar that is 5x your size though. . . You're going to need to bind her to a different form. You're spryte magic can do it, but only if she consents. But if you just tell her you will send her back to the Wyld if she doesn't consent, the Blackgleam Wyld where she will be eternally mocked for her petty human insecurities, she will have to consent! Yay! Any mundane animal will do.

Or you could switch bodies with her. . . That could be interesting. You have never been a man before! But that could be dangerous. . . even with her consent you would need to use the grimoire.

[ character changes are done on the bases of who next picks up the grimoire. Of course if you dont like a character it is incredibly easy to get them killed. ]

>>21165295

>you're spryte magic
fuck

>>21165295
Worry about all that later, we have a whole new world to explore and a tourguide who is metaphysically obligated to tolerate us!

>>21165295

I am indeed vindictive. Which is why I'm thinking we fly the new char into a jet engine. We need to turn the barista into like a dog or something first, though. I am totally comfortable with having a hipster asshole familiar trapped in a body she considers only slightly better than being trapped in the Wyld forever.

>>21165295
Make her a cat. Magic, sapient cats are fucking neat as hell, and I'm secretly hoping that she gets the grimoire back after the Spryte dies hilariously.

You contemplate making her a dog or a cat. Or just leaving her here to go off and do other stuff! but no, that would be mean and you like her.

You threaten her into accepting your forced polymorph, choosing a cat because it is about the same size as you in contrast to a dog that would still be bigger. Unless it was one of those tiny dogs. . . Maybe you should make her a tiny dog! no, you like cats better. . . cat it is.

A few moments later and you are sitting on top of some kind of bottle on a high shelf while your familiar attempts to climb up to you. How sweet! It has its claws out and everything, clearly to get a better grip on the shelving. Watching it knock bottles down trying to get up to you then dodging their shattering glass is quite amusing, and prevents you from studying the grimoire that is in your hands for a while.

Then you hear a door open. Wait, how did you know it was a door. . . Have you ever heard of a door before? You cant remember! But it was definitely a door, no question. You know that sound.

Your familiar stops trying to bring you company and stares at the staircase. You hear load footsteps and cursing. OOOH you bet he heard the bottles! you giggle and open the grimoire again, reminded that maybe you should cast stuff.

Of course, your Spryte magic is also fairly potent. Maybe you could deal with the big ogre that way!

>>21165369
Use Spryte magic on the ogre, try to set him on fire.

>>21165369
Use grimoire nonsense. Adventure!

>>21165369

Abandon magic to attack bar owner honorably. With fisticuffs!

>>21165369
Turn the ogre into a dog and see if cats and dogs really do fight like cats and dogs.

you set the grimoire down on the high shelf and flutter down to where the ogre will soon be appearing. But wait! that is no Ogre! that is another man! He holds some kind of club in his hand, but holds it wrongly. rather than gripping one end and raising the other to swing with, he holds both ends and points the blunt tip at you, as though this is a threat! ha!

You raise your tiny fists to the man, the interplaner challenge to fisticuffs. He responds with a incredulous and very frightened look, followed by a loud noise and flare of light from the club.

You are laying against one of the shelves. You think the beast has broken your wing! You look at it and see it has been torn strait off by some kind of projectile the club fired. He used MAGIC. . . In a FISTICUFFS MATCH!!!

You roar with outrage and hover up slightly despite your inoperable wing. Fire begins to form around you and the fiend backs away, taking aim with his staff are whatever the hell that thing is. But not this time. A powerful hex forms on your tongue, and the man rubs his eyes, telling you it has worked and that he is temporarily blinded.

Your the fiery power in your fist is enough now to shatter his mortal body and. . .

A black streak of fur, teeth and claws is the last thing you see in your peripheral vision before you life is ended vie loss of head.

[Character Change Imminent]

>>21165443
Time to be the cat!

You are Erik Leet, owner of Leet's. You are a generous and responsible person, but through your life you have learned that you have your share of vices and just under enough willpower to overcome them.

But that isn't important right now. Right now there is a black cat you have never seen before eating the head off a fairy that just tried to kill you in the cellar of your bar which apparently is now decorated in shattered bottles and some kind of demonic symbols on the floor. As you attempt to work out what exactly the fuck is going on, the cat runs up to you and between your legs a few times, then to one of the shelves where it paws at the base and meows constantly. You investigate, quickly deciding the cat is probably sapient given your current situation, and discover some kind of demonic tome atop your shelf.

A few hours of study gives you the information given in the OP. You have closed the bar for today, events considered, and contemplate what to do now. The cat, who you deduce may or may not be Roxie but name that regardless, seems to be reading the book over your shoulder.

[the cat is incapable of using the grimoire right now, if it stays alive long enough however she may learn how to cast in her current form]

>>21165517
Have a drink. The best one you have

>>21165517
A familiar, hopping from master to master until she can manage learning how to cast herself? Bully. Anyway, as Leet, let's browse the book, looking for something interesting, profitable, and seemingly innocuous. We'll put out a saucer of beer for Roxie and let her paw at the pages to help guide decisions.

>>21165517
Try to communicate with the cat. Get a laptop or something for the cat to write with and try to find out what the hell happened.
Given that some fairy just tried to kill us, we should not summon another one.

You get out a nice bourbon and a cheap bear. Pouring the first into a short glass of ice for yourself and the latter into a bowl for Roxie. The cat give you a perplexed look and tries the drink, apparently deciding it doesn't taste any worse than to a human and occasionally lapping at it while watching you.

All the rituals with enough legible instruction to complete have to do with summoning dangerous creatures, and you aren't sure if you like that. Other spells do have some illustration, but they are typically insufficient to figure out how exactly to cast the depicted results.

The obvious path is to summon one of the creatures and hope it can give you some advice, but then that is probably how Roxie did this to herself.

hm.

You suppose if magic stuff like this is real there has to be more of it than just this one book. There are probably societies built around this stuff. . . Maybe you could get in touch with them? Though you aren't sure if that sounds any safer. . .

>>21165624
While you contemplate what to do, the idea strikes you that roxie should still be able to type, albeit slowly, and provide her with your laptop from your office. She confirms your suspicions. She is indeed Roxie and was transformed into a cat by the Spryte.

If the laptop or whatever doesn't work, just try playing 20 questions with 1 meow for "yes" and 2 meows for "no".

>>21165630

Put up an ad on Craigslist about the magic book and talk to Roxie while you wait for a reply.

>>21165664
Shit yes. She can type the ad up herself too if she feels she can do it better. We're partners in this for now.

>>21165630

We have a gun, right? Summon an imp. High odds of success, nothing nasty happens if we fail too badly, we can blow its head off if it doesn't take a liking to us. Use imp summoning to experiment with various methods. The imp isn't trustworthy, but none of these things are, so whatever.

You ask Roxie what she thinks about putting up a add on craigslist. She replies with something about not going mainstream. You assume she is joking and thus approves of the idea.

The thought crosses your mind of letting Roxie type it up, but watching her type is like watching grass die.

After you are finished you go back to communicating with Roxie for a while.

<maek me a hu,an agai n> she types.

"ill try, but i dont see any obvious spells for that, not that I would know how to cast them if I did. Where did you get this thing"

<custo,er blw imself up>

". . . And then you went and used it?"

<done moc me>

You think about how to spend the rest of your day, should you just wait for a reply? or try something else in the meantime.

>>21165776

You have a single barrel 12gauge shotgun, and plenty of shells for it.

>>21165786
Do this:
>>21165776
Firearms and summoning turns out to mix fantastically. Advise Roxie to remain in a safe position.

You decide it is time to try some magic.

You go down to the cellar where Roxie drew the original circle and erase it, replacing it with one shown alongside the picture of a imp. Roxie watches with interest, and even paws a few runes that she notices weren't drawn exactly like the books showed. You thank her and redo these.

You grab your shotgun and position yourself as far away from the circle as the ritual allows, telling Roxie to stay back. You begin to chant.

[roll 1d100, first roll is the roll that counts]

Rolled 69

>>21165863
come on, nat 1

>>21165876
>69
Cute.

What happened to the dead Spryte anyway?

The air above the circle shatters, revealing nothing but darkness on the other side. A small red creature comes tumbling out of the void, hitting the edge of the circle as though it were a wall.

"Stand." You say, seeing how it responds.

The imp immediately pops up onto its feet, a nasty snarl on its face.

"Make your pact warlock." it growls.

You feel a tug at your ankle and look down to see Roxie pawing at a phrase in the grimoire notes. If this is right, you can get more than a pact out of this creature, it is bound to your will now.

>>21165951

The body is laying on the floor of the cellar. Though you don't see the head.

>>21165952
Great, now have it teach us what it know about magic and help us decipher the grimoire

>>21165967
This. Use the double-whammy of it being bound to our will and the offer of a pact to be set free back to whence it came if it gives us sufficient tutoring to allow us to start puzzling out the book on our own.

>>21165952

"First: You will not lie to me, omit important information when speaking to me, mislead me, or in any other way deceive me. You will, to the best of your ability, help me in doing whatever it is I tell you to assist me with, and you will not try to help me unless I give you an explicit command to do so. Aid me and I will send you back whence you came. Anger me and I will use the boomstick."

"First: You will not lie to me, omit important information when speaking to me, mislead me, or in any other way deceive me. You will, to the best of your ability, help me in doing whatever it is I tell you to assist me with, and you will not try to help me unless I give you an explicit command to do so. Aid me and I will send you back whence you came. Anger me and I will use the boomstick." You state quickly.

"decipher this," you say, turning the grimoire to face him, "do not deviate from the inteded meaning of what is written, do not attempt to cast or memorize anything within this book."

The imp laughs at you "That isn't how this works apprentice. Only the warlock who wrote it can read it like that. Do you even know how magic works? Who trained you?"

You remember a name inscribed on the inside of the front cover.

"Eleraim" You state quickly, trying to assert dominance. "and you will explain to me exactly what incorrect assumptions I have made."

The imp visibly reacts to the name, squinting his eyes and growing suddenly still.

"Magic isn't a cheat code in reality, waiting to be accessed by twitch this finger right or righting these words down, it is a sapient, and very stupid force which cant help but react with reality warping thoughts when appealed to in certain ways. Think, law of drama, but real" It states, clearly against its will.


[cont, field too long]

>>21166002
This.

"So what, if i really hate someone they will burst into flames?" You ask

"No. . . But if you say got really afraid of me I may be able to break free of your runes because that would be playing into the archetype that you began. There, archetype, that is a good way of putting it. Magic is about manipulating "magic's" subconscious into finishing the tiny little tale we begin in the way we want. Trick magic into believing you are the archetypal 'deceitful villain' and suddenly your next lie becomes nearly impossible to see through, though if the person you are lying to is sufficiently heroic the opposite may happen."

"So magic is a storyteller and we invoke it by roleplaying." You say, trying to sort it out.

"I guess you can put it that way."

"Then how does this book work? I follow its instructions and magic happens." You ask.

"Because the warlock who wrote it probably spent ages building up a reputation as a powerful warlock, and thus when he wrote down that 'doing mystical thing A causes effect B to occur' magic was tricked into making it so. Your riding on his coattails, so to speak." The imp explains.

"How can I learn more of the spells then?'

File: 1350499945258.png-(1.46 MB, 4464x2948, grimoire quest1.png)

"By being in a situation that dramatically demands you suddenly be able to understand that spell, or tricking magic into thinking you are a scholar and thus making it figure you should be able to decipher the grimoire. I don't know I'm not a wizard."

You think about other things to ask the imp while going through the grimoire, thinking about what kinds of spells you may "unlock" through the current situation. You suddenly notice that one page is written in modern English that certainly wasn't before.

You make notes of this spell, and of all the things the imp has told you, and place them with the other notes in the book.

>>21166227
Wait, I just noticed the Eldritch Lord "may" obey any command we give it.

Tricky.

I'm guessing that if we treat Roxie less like a cat and more like she was still human her form should eventually return on its own.

>>21166256
I dunno. She was kind of annoying. Do we really want her back as a human? She was just a sponge anyway.

>>21166227
Okay, first off, let's try to use the grimoire as little as possible from now on and instead focus on building ourselves into a nice, solid archetype of our own. Second of all, let's treat Roxie exactly as if she were a human, even if that will be inconvenient for her. She uses the toilet instead of a litterbox, drinks beer, watches funny cat videos online, and so on. That should help somewhat at the very least. Failing that, we at least try to reinforce the archetype of the 'sapient familiar.'

>>21166256

Maybe try to convince ourselves that the more magical power she soaks up, the more control over her form she'll get, making her a werecat.

>>21166273
I propose we build an archetype as Sam Vimes.


You know you want it.

>>21166243
Don't forget "free to do as it wills" doesn't actually have conditions.
And the different spellings of "Eldritch Lord" may or may not be intended.

>21166256
Or she might suddenly become able to talk if we watch a Sabrina marathon.

So we're playing a metaphor about quests delivered via the medium of quests. Okay.

First things first: We need to decide on an archetype that wins. Our entire history is basically limited to a relationship that failed because of our own vices plus some mundane stuff no one cares about. I can't find a way to spin that into badass anti-hero (we're about a decade too old to make that archetype work anyway), so instead I'd suggest an everyman trying to do his best to make the world a better place as a sort of penance for his past failures. If that's not who we were before, it is now, because that is an archetype that wins stories.

>>21166273
Seconded.

>>21166280
I noticed the "free to do as it wills".
That one is very, very obvious, and you'd have to be a genre blind retard to miss it.

The Eldrith instead of Eldritch is probably just a typo, though, considering eldrith isn't anything I've ever heard of.

Unless it's something like Carcosa in which case fuck

>>21166279
Fuck yes. Other good archetype ideas? I'm personally a fan of the 'unenthusiastic but extremely competent occult investigator.' You know, the guy who never quite dies and always succeeds in the end, but only after enormous adversity? Harry Dresden, basically, or any other Noir hero.

>>21166305
>>21166279
Either of these.

>>21166289

Oh: To this end, let's pretend to go through a list of people who might do better with the grimoire than us, mentally crossing each of them out for being too selfish to use it properly or else too innocent and thus not deserving of having such a dangerous responsibility thrust upon them without warning. These two categories conveniently can be easily expanded to include /everyone ever/, at which point we arbitrarily exclude ourselves from both of them and decide we'll just have to try and make it work on our own until we can find a proper wizard of some sort.

>>21166289
We could go for 'increbly knowledgable bartender wizard with talking cat, whom the adventurers have to approach for quests, information and assistance'.

File: 1350500651475.jpg-(27 KB, 500x498, conspiracy-keanu-template.jpg)

>59-2 the Eldritch Lord is confined to a summoner
>a summoner
>not a summoning circle

>mfw

>>21166322
No, that character always gets killed somewhere in the second act. We want someone who survives to the end of the story and beyond.

Regardless what we go for, we should strive to be a "good" person. Otherwise, so obnoxious heroes will eventually show up and kill us.

>>21166336
What if we believe ourselves to be invincible and infinitely knowledgeable/smart

Okay, revised plan. Use this: >>21166289

As a launchpad to lead into this: >>21166279

Re: Roxie, I'm seriously a fan of letting her be a cat for a while. No need to be particularly cruel about it, but having real problems for a while should hopefully shake her out of her idiotic "I'm so oppressed! -sent from my iPhone" attitude.

>>21166355
Then we'll get killed in the first act to show how serious of a threat the main threat is. It's about playing to archetypes, not personal beliefs. This is tvtropes the quest.

>>21166355

Have you ever seen what happens to characters that shout "I am invincible!" in stories? It never ends well.

>>21166336

I think we should get a bit meta here. This character won't survive. We should be cautious, yeah, but the more information we gather the better the chances the next guy/gal/cat has.

>>21166335
It also says "May not return without our aid", but doesn't specify where it's returning to. More than likely it can't be gotten rid of without the summoner's help. So when (not if) it causes problems it's that much harder to remove.

>>21166372
So we could build a reputation up just as the warlock did we wouldn't necessarily just say were invincible. Sorry if i wasn't being clear on what I was saying.

Now that I think about it with this new information, could it be, that the hipstercat eventually turns into an actual familliar bound to the book, if she does have to follow several summoners around?

>>21166398

But the character with a reputation for invincibility never ends up actually being that way. People love an underdog. We are basically playing in Discworld, the best odds for success are one in a hundred.

>>21166389
>"May not return"


>it's not allowed to return

>there is something even bigger than it that will not allow it to return unless it's done what its master wants

>>21166426

One in a million*, derp.

People are forgetting that it's not about what people believe, it's about what magic believes.

It's about metaphysics, not about reputation.

This isn't Planescape. It's Mage: the Ascension

>>21166433

The laws of reality mean that the more ominous power we ascribe to the Eldritch Abomination, the more powerful it becomes. How about it's just a dumb Shoggoth knock-off with a typo in its name? That would be way more convenient for us. Let's start believing that.

>>21166433
Nah, I think the previous poster has it right. Once it kills it's summoner, it CAN'T be sent back.

>>21166454
Yeah, that's the right idea, I think. We should fill some kind of survivor archetype, like Vimes or Dresden, and find all of our opposition vaguely hilarious.

>>21166227
What would be the best things to ask for in a pact we could make with an imp? Looking for ideas here guys.

I think we can pretty much summarize the Eldrich Lord summoning spell as DO NOT CAST EVER. Given how powerful this thing is, it wouldn't surprise me if the Eldrich Lord himself wrote that spell in so he could get an opening to our dimension.

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>>21166458
Wait

The eldrith lord does what it damn well pleases no matter what

But it mustn't harm the summoner
These are mutually exclusive

>mfw the spell summons an eldritch AND an eldrith lord

You head is spinning with all the things that need to be considered. You need to solidify yourself as a protagonist first off. Wait, are there protagonists? What if this is a horror story where protagonists are the ones to die? It is a lot to consider, and regardless building yourself into a archetype is going to take time. Better to start now, but you shouldn't have to worry about results for a while. You think.

And right now there is a very annoyed looking imp trying unsuccessfully to appear intimidating, probably inspired by his own statements of "if you fear me I become stronger". You shake your head, then regret it, acting nervous is definitely something to avoid.

You need a plan. Flailing about here is making you look like a bumbling apprentice warlock that is bound to get raped by a demon or blow himself up. You look down at Roxie, who seems to be as deep in thought now as you are.

"So can I be freed now? I'd appreciate it if you didn't send me home by the way. I know that spryte over there probably wanted it but that is because she was from the wyld, I'm from hell."

You direct your attention back to the imp.

>>21166475
Okay, this is where we do our first act of establishing our archetype. We prove we're genre-savvy by blowing the imp's head off.

>>21166475
So, he's not only weak, he's also an idiot.
Never give more leverage to the person who's already got you captive.

Now we can threaten him with sending him back, except we'll blow off his horns with our boomstick first so he'll be a hornless li'l wimp.


That should get us some of that sweet, sweet information.

>>21166473
>Dat light demon

>>21166496
We shouldn't torment him too much though, plenty of scorned subordinates have backstabbed their masters. Our best bet is to try to be reasonably friendly with him and win his heart and mind.

>>21166475
Kill him.
Keeping him around is just asking for someone else more easily intimidated to fuck shit up.
Sending him back might give info to others or something.

>>21166545
Wouldn't killing him just send him back to hell anyway?
Plus, he might be reincarnated into something worse.

>>21166545
I'm with you. Killing him in a 'just business' cold, calm fashion is the only genre-savvy thing to do at this point.

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>>21166521
What.


What.


What.


What.


Do you want us to be that guy who tries to cuddle with the giant tentacle beast of rape and death?

It's a fucking imp.

An.
Imp.

>>21166553
That gives me an idea.
Ask him about how hell, the wyld, the fae, demons, devils etc. work.
Get some info about the setting.

>>21166562
>>21166553
>>21166545
We can still get information out of him.

We'll kill him, duh. But we won't do that until after we've extorted him for everything he's got.

>>21166562

No. That is not a protagonist move. That sets us up as a villain who dies in Act III at best.

We should keep him on a leash, because if we let him go he'll mess up our world, and if we send him back he might mess up us, personally. Keeping him around is a protagonist move.

>>21166572
Good call. Then kill him.

We could always play the bumbling yet good-hearted comedy wizard who makes every spell wrong, but everything works out ok in the end.

Our first action should be to polymorph Roxie back, but not get her all the way, leaving us with a grumpy catgirl employee/assistant.

>>21166475
Also ask what warlocks normally ask for in a pact

>>21166580
Seconded.

>>21166567
No, I'm saying having a loyal subordinate is better than a scheming one.

File: 1350502001933.jpg-(126 KB, 450x373, you just went pic related.jpg)

>>21166587
>loyalty
>imps

>>21166579
>inbefore bumbling apprentice frees imp, causes apocalypse, we die in prologue, apprentice becomes new protag and gets happy ending

>>21166587
Which is why we kill it. If we torment it, it will grow to hate us. If we're kind to it, it was planning on fucking us over all along. This setting runs on archetypes, and we're not nearly charming or self-controlled enough to take up the role of the dude that converts evil things to the side of good.

>>21166604
The problem is killing it in cold blood could set us as a villain archetype. Just sending him back to hell would be better if we can't use charisma to recruit him.

>>21166629
That's another acceptable reaction. At any rate, we need to remove him from our personal narrative. He'll just complicate it in unfortunate ways if we keep him around. That much is paramount.

>>21166603

Which is fine, since the apprentice was our original character.
>Also /tg/ wants to be the little catgirl

>>21166582
>>21166572
Can we just ask these question to start out with? After all knowledge is power.

"'Aight imp. I feel in a generous mood, seeing as my employee's been turned into a cat, my storage room's been wrecked and my customer's exploded all over the nearby alleyway.
I'm going to give you a chance here. We'll flip a coin here.
Heads, you go back to hell.
Tails, I shoot your fucking brains out.
Wait, did I say generous? Yeah, I meant pissed. Because my employee's been turned into a fucking cat, my shop's been wrecked, my property is now the site of a goddamn explosives-murder, and there's occult shit everywhere in my basement.

Alternatively, you can give me everything you know, and I might refrain from getting out a nickel and let fate decide what's gonna happen to you. You gonna spill the beans, or are you feelin' lucky. Well? Are you, punk?"

>>21166679

I really don't think you understand how this works.

"tell me about the demons, fey, wyld, devils, ect. . ."

He shrugs "We exist because it is possible for us to exist. You can interact with us because magic has decided it wants you to be able to, for whatever reason. Demons are manifestations of evil, fey of free will, and so on. I don't know the whole deal, just what seems obvious you know."

"yup."

You fire you shotgun directly at the imp's head.

It's the first time you've shot anyone, but you do your best to look every bit the cold bad-ass.

You now have two corpses of fantastic creatures in your cellar and need a way to deal with them. You feel the grimoire grow slightly warm and note a new spell, apparently made for lighting torches, cigarettes, or bodies on smokeless green fire. So this is what you get for being violent.

>>21166696
You honestly don't understand the connection between Dirty Harry and Sam Vimes?

Really?

File: 1350502621116.png-(1.53 MB, 4464x2948, grimoire quest2.png)

>>21166701

You make a note of the spell in the blank area of the grimoire.

>>21166714
Let's light a cigarette with magic like a stone-cold noir badass. We'll keep the magic corpses around, just in case they're useful.

>>21166714
Welp since the imp is dead we might as well test out the new spell since we can't make a pact with a corpse

Rolled 54

>>21166714
Emerald Fire on both corpses.
Real mages us magic for mundane shit you can do more easily without it.

>>21166712

Do you really want to bet your life on your ability to avoid going full-on villain with that? We're making threats and murdering the people who help us out. The only difference between hero and villain right now is what soundtrack happens to be playing in the background while we do it, and I'd prefer we stick to more comfortably protagonist-y actions until we have our archetype solidified. You can't just yoink out segments of these stories at random, you have to pay attention to the pace.

>>21166714
Lets burn the corpses outside, we don't wanna burn the bar down

>>21166737
...
You seriously think a 10% chance of our hand being burnt off is worth it for a ciggie and looking cool?

That would cement us as a retard who goes around slinging dangerous magic wantonly.
The only one who can do that and come out of it winning is Henderson.

>>21166757
...you honestly think imps are helping us out?

Really?

Are you literally genre blind?

>>21166775
I only want to do the light-a-cigarette-with-magic-fire thing because I'm hoping it might score use a point towards being a magic-noir badass survivor. That sort of archetype is really our only chance of long-term survival.

>>21166775
We could prepare a pot of cold water in case we fail miserably. Lighting a cigarette is pointless and doesn't help us, I agree with you there

>>21166775

He's not doing it willingly, but yes, he absolutely helped us out. We benefited from the interaction with him. He never even tried to work against us, and we killed him on a hunch that he probably would. That is not a protagonist action.

>>21166789
However the emerald flame spell may unlock a new spell, but at the very least we can burn the corpses

>>21166828
So I vote that we test it out.

You carry the bodies (they are quite light) to the back ally by the dumpster and set them down. You attempt to conjure emerald flame [ >>21166749 ] and succeed partially, but due to the immobility of the targets you simply reach down and set them on.

Happy for the first time in a long time that you smoke, you use the fire to light a cig before dispelling it. Then realize that the fire burns without smoke. Well shit.

You reach down and light the cig with a normal lighter and are pleased to find that the green glow remains alongside the actual, smoking fire. You make a note to be doubly careful of where the ash drops.

Roxie sits beside the bodies, her cat eyes reflecting green flames in a way that is frankly awesome. She looks up and you, with a look you cant quite identify, then walks back into the bar. You follow her a few minutes later after finishing the cig and making sure the bodies are nothing but ashes.

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>>21166782
What you want to be:
>Max Payne
>Stone cold badass
>The kind of person who can wear a fedora and look good
>Lady killer
>Hardcore detective-style gravel-voiced so-gritty-he-might-as-well-be-a-driveway demon hunter
What you're actually doing:

>Pic related


>>21166794
Yep.
Genre blind as all fuck.

Here's a hint:

All demons are evil.
Always.
No exceptions.
You do not deal with demons longer than you need to. Then, when you're done, you shoot their fucking heads off before they rat off about you know to their superiors.
That's how demons work.
That is their role.

Furthermore, this isn't a novel. It's a LARP. There's a whole world of magicians out there. Getting the grimoire doesn't automatically make us the protagonist.
We play a role. As do billions of others.
Thinking we're a protagonist is a sure-fire way to get us killed for our hubris.

>>21166828
Is there really any point in using magical fire to burn them? What if we can't shut it off? Our whole bar burns down

>>21166794
Additionally he was already bound to tell us what we wanted to know and leaving it up to a coin toss is just unnecessarily cruel and not to mention stupid because you might have a different opinion than others on what's the better option but you probably think of one of them as preferable.

>>21166845
>Pic related
Fair enough.

>>21166863
>thinking we were actually going to toss a coin and it wasn't just a very obvious threat

what the fuck man

>>21166845
Well then guess we'd be fucked.
>>21166842
Well OP are we fucked or aren't we?

>>21166882
We're not fucked, it seems.

>>21166845

Dude, you're missing the goddamn point. We're trying to be the protagonist because the protagonist gets to live to the end of the story. The problem is that you're not setting us up to be a protagonist, you're setting us up to be a villain. Blowing something's head off when it hasn't done shit to us, regardless of other justifications, is a part played by exactly two roles:

1) Someone who has already been set up as a protagonist, which we haven't been, or

2) A villain who is going to die.

You're right, we're *not* the protagonist. That's the problem. Only the protagonist can get away with the shit you're trying to pull.

>>21166882

The fire doesn't seem to burn things which wouldn't normally burn to fire. From the relative coolness of the flames your surprised it burns much more than paper.

>>21166891
At least not yet. I still theorize that killing the imp is just sending him back to hell, probably pissed off and possibly reincarnated into something worse. We should avoid summoning anything further from the hell realm so he doesn't get a chance for revenge.

>>21166898
There are a lot more archetypes than just 'hero' or 'villain,' but you have a good point. Let's try to avoid situations where being ruthless is the only smart option for the time being while we establish ourselves in some kind of protagonistic survivor role.

>>21166898
IT'S
AN
IMP

For fuck's sake, are you literally retarded? Do you not know what an imp is?

This is like complaining the 2edgy asshole player characters are going out and killing the so goblins who've done them no hard oh no guys why are you hitting the poor goblins they're sad now they're sad :(

Fuck.

Fuck, man.
Fuck.

You have absolutely no goddamn literary savvy, is obvious.

>>21166898

I agree that killing the imp was a dick-ass move.
Could have just send it back.
Fuck, even if it was trusty, with a good pact it would have been a good familiar/servant to act as a meat shield/fireball thrower

>>21166923
He's not arguing that killing the imp wasn't the smart option, he's arguing that it goes counter to the archetype we're trying to build. It was obviously the smart option, but it may have moved us away from an archetype that would survive act III. It would be best to avoid such situations in the future.

>>21166916
I'd say that only happens if we believe that's how it works.

So what do we do now? Wait for questhook while treating cat as human? Fuck around with magic because were stupid? Try to summon the Eldritch Lord (you know you want to).

>>21166942
Get a private investigator's license. We already smoke, drink too much, and have an ex that was driven away by our vices. We're one step away from being a noir hero, which basically guarantees that we'll survive the story, no matter how fucked up we get in the process.

>>21166942
>Fuck around with magic because were stupid? Try to summon the Eldritch Lord (you know you want to).

I don't see anything wrong with these.

>>21166956
This. Try to establish a survivor archetype.

>>21166923
For the one complaining about being genre savvy, you seem to miss the fact that only "bad guys" kill in cold blood and they don't typically have happy endings.

We really need to figure out how cynical or idealistic this world is so we can either play the gritty anti-hero or proper hero correctly.

Playing an anti-hero in an idealistic world will just get us killed to teach morals and playing a regular hero in a cynical world will get us killed for being naive. So before we go much farther, we need to get a feel for the theme of this world.

>>21166923

I'm not sure if you've been paying attention, but before we knew about the whole archetype thing, my plan was to summon imps to experiment with techniques and then murder them to make room for another as many times as it took to get one properly bound. I am not concerned with the livelihood of imps in the slightest. New information, however, has made murdering absolutely ANYTHING for pragmatic reasons a dangerous move.

You suddenly realize the cellar is getting a kind of broke-in look. as you walk in you see the book atop a chest high shelf where you rested it while performing the summoning ritual. In front of it is the summoning circle, and laying on top of the grimoire is Roxie, apparently reading more. The laptop hums near her, in case she feel s the need to comment.

You try to figure out if petting her would be comforting or inappropriate, and decide to just go for a pat on the head. "we'll figure something out." you say.

You check the craigslist ad, nothing so far.

The grimoire is still mostly just summoning spells that you are probably better off not fucking with unless you have something very specific in mind.

You do however have internet access, plenty of money, a car, and all day. Maybe you could do some kind of other research on magic? You also recall the name Eleraim. Wander what the deal was with that.

And god damn why does the wind keep flipping the grimoire to Eldritch Lord you mean seriously there isnt even any wind in here its a cellar and the cat is sitting right on it half the time.

Jesus.

>>21166989
>And god damn why does the wind keep flipping the grimoire to Eldritch Lord you mean seriously there isnt even any wind in here its a cellar and the cat is sitting right on it half the time.

you know you want to

>>21166989
Private investigator license. Sign up for the courses TODAY. It will take weeks to get one.

>>21166968
Considering the fact that there's eldritch horrors around, there's no chance in hell it's idealistic.

And hell, even in idealistic settings, killing things in cold blood hardly makes a bad guy. The thing that gets killed just has to be suitably demonized (LIKE A FUCKING DEMON).
See: Any fairy tale ever.

>>21166973
Ach, I can see your point now. It's still wrong, in my opinion, but not retarded at least. My apologies.

Still, I think you need to drop the linear narrative thing. It's definitely not a monomyth-story. There's too many variables and unique characters.

As I said earlier, it's much more feasible that it's a LARP. Such that our cosmic fate isn't decided by magic's interpretations of us, but our character is affected by it.

>>21166989
google Eleraim

>>21166989

In other news I am horrible at spelling. I don't even know how it happens. I swear I'm not retarded.

>>21166989
Google Eleraim.

Use .tor

Alternatively, use .tor to find a wizard search engine

You google Eleraim. The name appears on a few forums, but when you click on them it says you have to register to read. The registration process on all of them seems to not exist, so you assume you need to be specifically invited. If nothing else this points strongly to the existence of magic communities. You ask Roxie if she is good with computers. Despite lacking a human face she still manages to muster the look of contempt and pity all younger people somehow manage whenever a older adult asks for help with a computer. With some frustration you motion for her to have at it.

Did you mention watching her type is like watching grass die? watching her browse the internet is worse. And what is this shit she is downloading onto your laptop? It's probably viruses damn it. Still, you let her keep at it.

You take out your smart phone and check the craigslist add again. There is a response asking for more personal information, saying they would like to see the book in person before arranging purchase.

we're doing this wrong. We have access to someone who has been hinting that they want to help us for ages.

Summon Elditch lord

>>21167030
I second this

>>21167087
If >>21166473
is right, we get TWICE the minion for the same spell!

That's pretty cool.

>>21167087
>>21167092
You Eldritch Lords aren't very subtle.

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>>21167101
>this nigga doesn't want to hang out with an eldrith lord and an eldritch lord

Apply yourself nigga

The OP has dropped us a hint about what sort of story we're in: Horror. I mean, fairies are mind rapey, not sparkly or addicted to drugs. Every single summoning carries the possibility of death or, usually, something worse. Which, come to think of it, means that we're going about this all wrong. Slenderman kills you even if you beat the game. I think the safest role to be in might be spear carrier.

>>21167101

Me, an Eldritch Lord of the 17th Plane?
What a preposterous thought!

>>21167080
Register to get a private detective license. If nothing else, put up an ad as a private detective on craigslist. We don't need to actually take any jobs, just "being" one is sufficient.

>>21167092
I'm calling it now.
The Eldritch Lord becomes a running gag, and the quest ends with us travelling back in time and becoming the überwarlock that wrote the tome and then our apprentice summons the Eldritch Lord.

>>21167120
It's a roguelike, bro.

>>21167101
Aaaand... now I have tentacles. Archetype system.

>>21167139
To Japan!!!

Let's not reply to Craigslist or we're going to be murderhoboed for the tome.

>>21167120
I think we should summon another imp since they're low risk, and enter into a pact with it, it getting a chance to leave and us knowledge or a new spell

>>21167128
This man's got the right idea. We need to lay the groundwork for a solid archetype.

>>21167161
>Low risk for no reward
Maybe we should find a use for magic beyond risking to get horribly killed, before we play around with it.

Honestly, our best bet of surviving this whole thing is burning the grimoire and be done with it, Call of Cthulhu-style.

>>21167208
Yeah, but then Roxie gets stuck as a cat, and dooming her to that fate would be bad news for our archetype. We need to keep it around, if only to find a fix for her and further establish our good-guy archetype.

>>21167208
Possibly, but the magic in the book could go off if we try to destroy it, assuming we can destroy it.

And even if we try to distance ourselves from magic, having already been "tainted" by it I'm sure we'll attract more stuff. Our best bet is probably to prepare for it and try to survive for as long as possible.

>>21167208
Nah, we still need to save hipstercat, although we could just use her to produce elabourate catmemes.

>>21167236
>>21167222
Come on guys
She's a tumblr-feminism hipster


Acceptable losses and whatnot

>>21167184
19-1 and yeah it's dangerous but if we end up with a successful summon then we could enter into a pact with it or find out what we could gain from a pact with an imp or other creatures. I hardly see information or new spells as no rewards. Also my Internet know sucks so it may take awhile to respond

You decide you need to be a private detective, now. You do some research on your phone to figure out how one does this and find a fairly simple process for getting a license. You already have a concealed weapons permit, which helps a lot. You estimate it will take about a week for to actually get the license if you prioritize it.

Roxie meows loudly and you look over.

It looks like she has some kind of search engine open, scryorb? You've never heard of it. You ask her what's so special about it.

<wiard searchj enjon>

"How did you get a j instead of a gi?"

<?>

"Never mind."

Looks like you can get in on the magic community now, you guess. You start by searching Eleraim. Page loading takes forever, you knew all that shit she downloaded would slow your computer down.

>>21167246
I agree, but I have a feeling that our archetype wouldn't. Pragmatism at this point falls to roles played, not actual real-world pragmatism. If archetypes weren't involved, I would agree to washing our hands of the whole business.

>>21167247
But we just summoned an imp and decided he was too dangerous to keep around so we shot him. Seems rather pointless to summon another imp.

Succubi have a rather large margin of error for being confined to a summoning circle

Just a thought


Just joking, Eldritch Lord is still best bet.
Come on guys.

Do it.

Do it ffffaget

>>21167264
Let's prioritize getting that license, it's the next best thing to real immortality if this archetype business is legit. Aside from that, browse scryorb for anything of interest with Roxie. Do the standard game of reading stuff until you come to a word or concept you don't understand, then searching that, and so on.

>>21167283
Oddly, there's no specification for what happens on a roll of 28 or 29. Probably something bad like having your soul eaten or otherwise becoming the succubus' plaything.

>>21167264
Try to find out when that guy last posted.
Chances are he died and whoever was last in contact with him will try to take the book from us.

>>21167283
YEEEEEEEAAAH!

plus, it establishes us as a renegade. The kinda guy who'll do anything he has to, and gets results.

Did anyone consider how noisy a shotgun is before we fired it twice?

File: 1350506352613.png-(Spoiler Image, 398 KB, 455x600)

>>21167305
Obviously, we'd be boned.

Literally.

Pic related

>>21167332
Summon a celestial.
The only thing we summoned was an Imp we needed to find a way to heal our hipstercat and we killed it anyway.
Then ask it to help stupid woman.

>>21167348
Plus we fired it in an enclosed basement so I'm surprised our ears aren't ringing. But given that magic works on archetypes, it's possible no one heard the shots unless its useful for the story.

decide that the book constantly flipping to the eldritch lord is a sign that we should summon an eldritch lord

>>21167370
shit why didn't I think of that, summon a celestial, but after getting our private investigator's license

According to what you assume to be wizard wikipedia (The Akrasic Library), Eleraim was a tier 1 wizard from. . . AEIthicU? Whatever. Anyway he is famous for his expositions into other planes, and generally contributing more than almost any other individual to the body of magical and interplaner knowledge. Little is known about him due to earth never apparently being a significant stop for him, so the only information gathered is from other extra-planar entities. You check out what defines a tier 1 wizard and can abbreviate the description as practically a god if sufficiently prepared, only really combatable by planar lords, comparably powerful wizards, or mythic tier heroes.

Seems like a pretty legit guy, you wander what happened to him.

You then try Eleraim's Grimoire. The only significant mention is a discussion table between anonymous individuals about how they may have just found a location and about how big this could be. The date of the last comment is about 15m old.

You know who I realized could be a real powerhouse with the archtype system?

Edgy 13-year olds. Think about it--it's all based on what you can convince Magic you are, and if you're already acting like a "badass", having that reaffirmed with a real magic grimoire that really summons real demons...you get where I'm going with this? An adolescent power trip might just give them the infinite power they think they have.


You know, assuming they survive summoning the succubus.

Well, I'm opposed to burning the tome mostly because if we do that we are no longer playing the game. From a meta perspective, that's like beating Silent Hill by mentally deciding you'll take your daughter to Amity instead, and then turn off the console before you hit start.

>>21167422
>15 minutes
Yeah, let's get that investigator license ASAP. In the mean time, post an advertisement as a private eye (but don't take any actual cases) on craigslist, just for archetype reinforcement.

>>21167424
For that to work MAGIC has to be the edgy 13-year old, and if it is imma leave this thread and never turn back

>>21167422
Oh
Shit
We gotta get out of town.

There are going to be people who want that grimoire. And they will kill us to get it.

>>21167454
For the record I called that Craigslist will get us murderhoboed,

>>21167473
Give fake location to Craigslist guy and see if wizardforum reacts.

>>21167424
True, the only problem is that kids are easily influenced and controlled. So while they may have infinite power, a person with enough influence over them can basically puppet them.

We should make sure that Eleraim isn't currently a Eldritch Lord that's trying to get himself summoned.

If we want to be a villain, we could tell him to meet us at the spot where we know he wouldn't possibly be able to see that we were standing in a corner with a shotgun aimed at his face so we could steal his grimoire.


Just a thought.

With this new bit of information you begin to fear that your life may be in danger. Time to double up on those private detective efforts.

You click back to a normal web browser and begin posting private eye ads for yourself.

Suddenly the air breaks around you.

You remember this effect instantly and know a portal is being opened, and judgeing from the fact that you are not near the circle, you are the target.

You see your shotgun proped up near the computer, and the grimoire you know to be directly behind you.

You may only grab one, or you can just try to escape the portal and grab neither.

>>21167497
I have an idea.
We just have to summon someone who might know.
That Eldritch Lord fella seems like a smart guy.

>>21167498
but villains almost always die except when he'salso the protagonist or it's a series

>>21167521
Shotgun.

>>21167521
shotgun, the detective always goes for his gun first and everything else second

>>21167521
GRIMOIRE
It's the real bargaining chip here.
We could always hold it hostage with our green flames?

>>21167521
Grimoire.

That thing is too valuable to let go.

>>21167521
Go for the shotgun, it's probably either a wizard or the imp. Neither should be immune to buckshot. Plus, we don't have much in the way of magic for defense or offense at the moment.

>>21167521

Shotgun. Worst case scenario, we get magic'd to death by overwhelmingly powerful wizard who claims the grimoire...And now suddenly we are the overwhelmingly powerful wizard.

I just realized. We are playing as the grimoire.

>>21167554
And if someone else picks the grimoire up we can control them and mess them up for not being a world-weary PI/Wizard.

>>21167521
Boomstick if it's got ammo.
Grimoire if not.

>>21167572
No we are Eldritch Lord acting through Grimoire.
Each use makes summon Eldritch Lord more apealing to Warlocks.

>>21167572
but I'm liking the thought of turning this guy into old man henderson

You grab the shotgun.

you are now standing in front of a very scantly clad woman in traditional witch-like cloths, complete with hat. Standing nearby are two men also wearing very archetypal wizard robes. both of them are holding out their hands in a manner which foreshadows aggressive magic. All three recoil with shock when they see you have a fucking shotgun.

The portal closes.

>>21167610
You just had to spoiler the ending of this quest, didn't you?

>>21167605
I'm surprised the Eldritch Lord summon hasn't modified the description so it says, "Comes with free candy." Or something to that extent.

>>21167610

Sure, but if the wizard gets the grimoire, he'll suddenly realize that life in this nightmarish cosmos just isn't worth it and beg our favorite dude to blow his head off and take the grimoire back.

Taking the grimoire is basically the worst move anyone other than us could possibly make.

>>21167619
Ask them who the fuck they are and if they try anything funny blow the head off one of the wizards

The picture of the Eldritch lord makes me think more thing behind the wall JTHM, not "wants to help"

>>21167619

Here, have a grimoire.

As witch, pledge self to become inexplicably charming private detective's sidekick.

>>21167619
So do we go for murderhobo or not?

>>21167619
start shooting
>can we enchant our shells with the green fire?

>>21167649
This.

>>21167649
This. As a private investigator, we must ask questions before we shoot.

Response:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1NQ9TAovd6k

>>21167702
Da fuq?

>>21167669
No, but we can burn them with magical fire, which may or may not cause them to go off and spread fire all over the place. Depends on wether the cold fire can make explosive stuff explode or not.

>>21167619
In that we're archetyping here, we probably won't need to reload this thing, just fire on instinct. Shoot the guys, then question the woman. Or, to be even more sensible, shoot the woman and one of the guys.

"So, it looks like we've got a situation here, where I've got a shotgun, you've got that fancy-ass pixie dust, my daily rhythm of not-being-summoned-to-bumfuck-nowhere has been seriously upset.
I'm not gonna shoot unless you are. Unless is the keyword, here."

>>21167693
Yup

>>21167727
P.I.'s don't typically shoot women, they're chivalrous. They will if forced, but just doing it out of the blue will hurt our archetype. Chasing dames and all that.

File: 1350508014923.png-(470 KB, 800x1096, You should be able to sol(...).png)

>>21167724

>>21167729

This sounds pretty good to me, but add on some actual questions. Like "who the Hell are you?" and "what the Hell are you doing here?"

>>21167724

Young one, the answers you seek lie here:
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson

>>21167782
Sorry never heard of this before

File: 1350508132085.png-(1.68 MB, 4464x2948, grimoire quest3.png)

You are Roxie Cohan. A cat.

Your boss and only real friend in all this magic shit that has taken over your life recently just got summoned, presumably by wizards who want his book. The book being the grimoire you are currently sitting on.

You frantically begin flipping through the book, hoping the stress of this situation will unlock a new spell for you. Even though Leet was the one to unlock the fire and pact spells, the notes he made should let you cast them. You dont see a way for them to be helpful though.

Also, your a fucking cat and cant write for shit. You remember when the Spryte immediately reopened the portal you made when you got yanked into the wyld. Maybe you could try to do that? Fuck you just wish you could see what was going on in there.

A page glows slightly.

>>21167755
actually i change my vote to just shooting the men then questioning the woman. I'm still in favor of seeing if we can get green fire shells

>>21167794
GEE I WONDER WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO

>>21167794
Do the telepathic bond

[ the shotgun is a single barrel, breakdown shotgun, you may only shoot once without reloading, Leet has no additional shells on him. ]