I have no idea what I just read and I'm not sure I want to know.

A race of hermaphrodites might work though.

File: 1350706473828.gif-(316 KB, 245x158, 1341568636012.gif)

>>21201927
My thoughts?
Why.

BUDDING FUNGUS PEOPLE PLEASE.

IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW.

I think they should definitely have some sort of asexual reproduction, just spawning or dividing or maybe spores.

>DORF FORTRESS

>>21201927
Too bad they just got divorced for some stupid reason, or Reah Pearlman could be the female version of your Danny DeVitoids.

>>21201978
Dividing's a good call. Say every five years or so some of the DeVitos go to a designated area and split.

File: 1350706661920.jpg-(17 KB, 275x343, james_franco.jpg)

heheheheheheheheheeh.....heheheheheheheh.hheeeeeeeeeeeeheehehehe...

Fuck you OP. Fuck you for making us do this.

They're a fungus. DeVitos reproduce via a cloud of spores. When a spore takes root in an appropriately damp and boozey place, a DeVito grows after a few months.

>>21201998
Completely agree. Make it the beach. Every year, same month of July, DeVitos swarm to the beaches in small swimsuits and split into two DeVitos.

Danny Devito, I love your work!

File: 1350706880776.jpg-(266 KB, 1920x1080, large-batman-returns-blu-(...).jpg)

I would not want to live in a world where there's even ONE of these.

Could you imagine a world where Penguinvitos number in the thousands?

what racial benefits would I get if i play as a Devito?

>>21202054
some sort of speech bonus.

Why was devito never used as a dwarf merchant in a movie?

>>21202054
Since everyone is a DeVito, there wouldn't be any racial benefits.

Because there is no race.

There is only DeVito.

>>21202078
I heard a rumor he was approached to play Vizzini in Princess Bride, but I dunno how true it is.

>>21202078
Works better as a goblin

>>21202089
What if you are the only non-Devito in this world?

>>21202038
This.

>>21201927
Make them asexual. They split/divide like cells or something are like that one lizard that makes itself preggers.

I want you to know this is the only good thread on /tg/ right now and I thank you for making it.

>>21202108
Pray they do not find you and hope at least one of the gods is also not Devito.

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>>21202108

>>21202141
INNA GADDA DEVITO, BABY

>>21202141
I think it would be hilarious.
Wake up see Devito on the TV
Milkman is Devito
Barman hiding behind the bar is Devito
Police are Devito

etc

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>>21202106
goblin?

no you mean troll.

File: 1350707542932.gif-(1.98 MB, 450x269, sofa.gif)

Obviously DeVitos are hatched from within furniture.

File: 1350707638391.jpg-(25 KB, 412x352, 1350010271931.jpg)

>>21202038
oh my god, that mental image

>>21202189
What am I watching and why do you have it saved to your computer?

File: 1350707715409.gif-(318 KB, 248x200, nope.gif)

>>21202189
WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT?

>>21202213
Not him, but now it's saved to my computer and I don't even know why.

File: 1350707776388.jpg-(89 KB, 655x480, domon.jpg)

>>21202145

>>21202230
Maybe this is how Devitos spread.

>>21202247
"Yep, good thing you called us when you did, that's a full adult specimen, means the larvae will be in...well, yer couch, yer clothes, prob'ly yer mattress..."

>nobody mentions that OP is obviously riffing off that scene from Being John Malkovich

File: 1350708037829.jpg-(40 KB, 480x480, 1350238029102.jpg)

>>21202247
Oh god, how do I get rid of a Devito infestation?

>>21202170
Sorry, I can't into fantasy races.

>>21202213
It's always sunny in philadelphia christmas special. He hides in a leather couch, and that shit gets hot, yo.

You know, this makes me wonder. Which DeVito are we talking? Penguin DeVito? IASIP DeVito?

>>21202281
Every DeVito. Each character he plays is a race in the DeVito Domain

>>21202281
I would assume the entire spectrum of DeVitos is available.

>>21202281

the different kinds of devito are the races

>>21202281
I think all of the Devitos. Penguin Devito is a BBEG, probably because he was excluded from normal Devito society due to his freakish flipperhands.

>>21202304
Excluded? Or exalted?

>>21202278
It's only an infestation if someone is complaining.

You're not complaining, are you? Don't you want to be Devito?

>>21202304
No, Penguin DeVitos make up the bulk of the underclass DeVitos and are more prone to crime. No, the true BBEG is DeVito Prime, the original DeVito

>>21202301
Even the Lorax DeVito?

>>21202304
>In all other movies, DeVito puts on gloves that look like human fingers. Only in Batman does he reveal his natural hands.

So will they have a religious sect called the Branch DeVitoans?

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>>21202320
No, seriously, DeVitos are like tribbles. Fuckers start clogging pipes, ventilation, you name it.

>>21202351
>go to pour myself a bowl of cereal in the morning
>a devito still in its larval stage struggles to climb back into the box

What if we live in a world with not just Danny Devito but every one of his characters?
North Pole is inhabited by Danny Devito Penguins, Forests are full of Loraxes, Phil Satyrs roam the plains, etc.

>>21202362
I was planning on sleeping tonight, you know.

>>21202362
>go to do laundry
>check hamper
>a whole Danny of Devitos are using it as a nest.

File: 1350708949551.png-(948 KB, 1144x470, 1338226195276.png)

What the fuck?..

This is as insane as the dildo golems from last night. What the hell happens to /tg/ after dark?

>>21202404
>Lift toilet seat
>A DeVito scampers from underneath the seat and falls into the toilet, squealing

File: 1350709047974.gif-(498 KB, 323x239, FUCKING WITCHCRAFT.gif)

>>21202421
>What happens to /tg/ after dark?
MAGIC!

>>21202423
>get up in the morning, go to put on shoes
>pull on first shoe, suddenly a sharp pain in my big toe
>jerk my foot out and find a DeVito biting furiously on my toe
>probably crawled in there during the night looking for shelter
shit guys, i think it might be infected. Should I see a doctor?

>>21202421
>happens to /tg/ after dark
>/tg/ after dark
you answered it buddy.

>>21202423
>buy old house in the inner city
>go to check it out
>find whole infestation of DeVitos.
>little ones in the walls, and attic
>full grown ones sleeping on furniture and spouting expletives at me for barging in on them.

>>21202452

Look out, you might have DeVititis.

Got it last year, I couldn't fucking stop pretending to be other people for a solid month.

>>21202421
>>21202438
>>21202459
I'm wary.. The mods are around and apparently they are nuking threads for dumb reasons.

>>21202421
Mods sleep.

/tg/'s superpower. Take any scenario presented to us, and treat it with complete seriousness and legitimacy.

>>21202330
It's so obvious.
He must eliminate all DeVitos to regain his sense of identity.

>>21202465
Sounds like last thursday.

>Devitos ate all the spare food in the fridge
>This is the last straw
>Call post control to complain
>Devito answers
>"You want WHAT? Are you CRAZY?"
>Hangs up

Such is life with Devitos.

>>21202493
And in doing so, regains a portion of his true power.

>>21202520
Er. Pest control, rather. My mistake.

>>21202404
>They all hiss at you and stick out their forked tongues.

>David Bowie, playing Nikola Tesla, uses his machine from The Prestige to repeatedly clone himself
>the world is confronted by an ever increasing army of David Bowies playing Nikola Tesla, each building their own machines to further propagate the Bowie-Tesla species
>they also have lightning guns, obviously
Wat do?

>>21202549
Embrace fabulous.

>>21202549
Devitos weaponize Devititis, claim one of the Teslas and his machine, use it to multiply even faster to overtake other Teslas, and spread throughout the universe as 40K's newest playable faction.

>>21202525
The same guy would pick up either way.

>Go to watch a movie
>Danny Devito in Avatar
>Danny Devito embodies an Avatar to save the blue Devitos and obtain the Undevitoan.

i laughed forever

archive

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>>21202459
>/tg/ after dark

>>21202556
Squats 2 electric boogaloo

File: 1350710074829.jpg-(48 KB, 400x600, twins-movie-image.jpg)

Curiously, all attempts to spawn DeVitos in captivity have yielded Schwarzeneggers.

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>>21202561
>MFW

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>>21202574

>/tg/ after dark

File: 1350710133308.png-(Spoiler Image, 601 KB, 640x480)

>>21202574
>not /tg/ after /d/ark

File: 1350710216408.png-(491 KB, 719x538, donatello.png)

>>21202524
>Go visit family out in Oklahomo last winter
>Digging postholes for a fence to help out
>Hit something weirdly mushy
>Start digging it out
>A whole goddamn mating ball of Devitos
>Biggest damn one I've ever seen
>Reeked like old potato schnapps and ball sweat
>I start freaking out; grizzled old farmhand uncle just unpops the stopper on a jerrycan and douses the whole writhing, pink wad in gas and drops his cig on it
> "Got damn, boy, ain'tchoo ever seen a ball o' 'vitos afore?"
>mfw

File: 1350710391339.gif-(1.99 MB, 264x189, X gene activating at the (...).gif)

This is the best and worst thread on /tg/ right now.

pic unrelated

File: 1350710399271.jpg-(23 KB, 640x361, cap025-1.jpg)

>>21202335

This is exactly what happens in sleepy hollow with Christopher Walken. It's the only movie they allowed him to appear in without makeup.

Devetoid rapegangs rampaging through your cities.

>>21202609

Are we not men?

WE ARE DEVITO!

>>21202622
>ball o' 'vitos

oh fuck lol

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>>21201927

Spores. The DeVito life cycle is exactly identical to the Ork lifecycle in Warhammer 40K.

File: 1350710546916.jpg-(51 KB, 432x288, devo.jpg)

>>21202652

File: 1350710578764.jpg-(77 KB, 694x530, 2102426-tasha_yar_1.jpg)

>>21202645

File: 1350710618187.gif-(Spoiler Image, 974 KB, 245x182)

>>21202638
as bad as having an infestation of DeVitos is id take that over having a Walkin in the house any day.


or heaven forbid a Dafoe

>>21202667
>Dafoe

oh god

>>21202662
Thanks for getting the implied reference, fellow anon.

>>21202622
Oh god, I've been there

>be 10
>Run into woods with friends
>come across that big ass creek in the woods
>We all decide, we're gonna jump that shit
>First friend goes, makes it
>second friend goes, almost slips
>I decide to let fat friend go next, I'll go last
>Fat friend, not realizing he's fat, jumps
>mid jump, gravity activates, plummets into water
>turns out its a breeding ground for DeVitos
>they're gnawing and writhing all on him
>their beady eyes full of hate and snarling mouths mocking us
>we're all screaming, he somehow climbs out and attempts getting them off
>finally free him from the devitos
>never go back there again

>Watching President Devito debate against GOP nominee Devito.
>Devito promises four more years of lax immigration laws
>Devitos in the audience cheer
>Cameraman can't keep off first lady Devito's ass

>>21202696
It's like Marklar

>>21202677
Those little fuckers are voracious. I'm from Florida, and you can lose your catch out on the mangrove flats to devitos. Fuckers are worse than the sharks; hell, I've seen 'em tear up a bonnethead.
They're great bait for deeper water, though. Throw a turkey neck or pope's nose in the water, then once they start to frenzy, scoop 'em up. The hardest part is getting the hook to set; they'll chew themselves in half if you let 'em reach.

>Tired of Dr. DeVito trying to trick me into agreeing to have surgery to turn my hands into flippers
>Go to new doctor, M. Tobogan
>Weird name, but seems legit
>Open door
>It's Danny DeVito in a lab coat
>Turn 360 degrees and walk the other way

>be 11
>receive my hogwarts acceptance letter
>board the train, sit in compartment with three Devitos
>they look at me suspiciously, I make awkward small talk to appease them
>arrive at hogwarts
>Devito, the groundskeeper, escorts the first-years across the lake to the great hall
>Headmaster Devito surveys the new arrivals with interest
>eventually I am called to be sorted
>sorting hat places me in Devito house
>go to the wrong house table- TWICE
>Professor Devito gives me detention the next day

>>21202588
Dont you mean Electric Devitoloo

All car dealerships now only sell minivans.

File: 1350711589684.jpg-(29 KB, 512x384, perils of the warp.jpg)

> This whole thread

>>21202655
There it is. That took way too long /tg/, you're off your game.

Archive now

Xenomorphs -> Devitomorphs

Gives >>21202189 an entirely new meaning, doesn't it?

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>>21202772
this thread is dredd approved

File: 1350712280690.jpg-(36 KB, 246x382, 50c.jpg)

>>21202834

Because it wasn't horrifying enough as it was already.

OH GOD THEY'RE GROWING INSIDE ME

>>21202867
Never accept rescue breathing from a Devito. They just can't be trusted.

Deniro is Defoe of Devito

>22, kissless virgin
>In University study lounge
>Almost all of the seats are taken and a Devito sits next to me
>She sits down and looks at me
>"H-hello there."
>Devito is dressed casually, but inviting, in a baggy hoodie with tiny khaki shorts and red chuck taylors
>Every fiber of my soul yearns to be with Devito right here and right now for the world to see
>I go to make my move but accidentally scrape the metal of my binder along the metal table leg
>The sound resonates a frequency that drives the Devito crazy
>The shrieking caw of a thousand jilted mires bore deep into my skull and drive me to madness
>The frenzy has begun and I can smell the fresh blood and excrement
>I dash for the exit only to find, to my horror, Devitos pouring into the building, obviously alerted by the hivesoul
>There's no God left for me here

>>21202880
It's almost like their favored class is Wizard.

>>21202915

I've been there, bro.
Using my binder full of Devitos as a reference to attract other Devitos, you scrape it on something and suddenly every Devito's killing one another.

Such a faux pas.

wat

>go to game store
>ask clerk for Atelier Devitori
>"What was that again?"
>sweating profusely
>Atelier Devitori
>"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm hearing that right"
>Devitos spill out of my pockets
>they're running around everywhere screeching and knocking shit over
>run out of the store and never go back

>>21202954
Oh god. Incoming Devito-ized pastas?

File: 1350713489801.jpg-(13 KB, 220x192, 220px-RobMcElhenneyAug2011.jpg)

Everyone in the world is now Fat Mac.

>>21203012
That's not Fat Mac.

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Devito Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Dantanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Dantana in Dipan for 2,400,000 Dto (that's about D20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my Dantana.
Dipanese smiths spend years working on a single Dantana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to Vitokind.
Dantanas are thrice as sharp as Devipean swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a devitosword can cut through, a Dantana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a Dantana could easily bisect a fully-grown DeVito wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Devirope never bothered conquering Dipan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Danurai and their dantanas of destruction. Even in World War II, Damerican soldiers targeted the men with the dantanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Dantanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system.

File: 1350713706036.gif-(593 KB, 320x240, nod.gif)

>>21203012

>>21202915
10/10, would read again.

>>21203028
Agreed. That Fatmac probably weighs 40 kg soaking wet.

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>>21203057

>i can't fap to this!

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>>21202404
>Pack of wolves
>Pride of lions
>Murder of Crows
>Danny of DeVitos

>>21202735
NOICE.

File: 1350714819662.gif-(663 KB, 241x182, singletear-977[1].gif)

>roll a Danny Devito
Strength 1d20
Dexterity 1d20
Charisma 10+1d20
Wisdom 1d20
Intelligence 1d10
Rum Ham Count 1d6
Radius (feet) 1d6

Also Danny DeVito reproduces via binary fission, the resulting two daughter DeVitos being half the radius of the first.

tfw danny devito is splitting up his marriage

>>21203105
>Fat of Macs

File: 1350717387169.jpg-(139 KB, 500x333, 1346572397915.jpg)

>>21203181
A Job of Charlies?

Bunp.

Is "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" worth watching?

>>21206856
I think so. Its brand of black comedy is very refreshing compared to other sitcoms.

>>21206856

Yes, It is a hilarious sitcom composed entirely of horrible horrible people and their resultingly horrible antics.

Archive this now!

File: 1350752861075.jpg-(32 KB, 544x400, kin-dza-dza.jpg)

I do not know why i remembered that movie, but anyway.

>>21207101
>>21206955
>/tg/ likes It's Always Sunnt
I think I'm going to discuss /tv/ topics here instead of /tv/, they're all assholes.

>>21207446
Hell yeah. You have /tg/; you don't don't need other boards.

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>>21207446

Enjoy your stay

>>21207446
Stop right there. Do not start making /tv/ threads here because "/tv/ sucks." All that does is dilute actual /tg/ content with unrelated material. If an unrelated discussion arises as a tangent from a related thread, fine, but do not shit up the board with threads that rightly belong elsewhere. Down that path lies "/tg/ is /b/ with dice."

they should deffinitely just pop into existence

but they should appear depending on the role they need to fill

and there should deffinitely be female devito's
but not womanly ones
just devito wearing a dress

>>21202089
black devito

everyone is devito

so its just devito with blackface and an afro

>>21202189
YES!
they should just pop out of furniture and suume the roles theyre meant to play. and wear the appropriate clothing and paint themselves the appropriate racial color

it'd be like one of those eddy murphy movies but everyone is de vito

>>21207554
It was just a joke, I apologize for any alarm I may have caused.

>>21207554
someone woke up the mods

>>21202622
but in this world

you'd be a vito
and so would your uncle

and he just comitted genocide

unless those where wildlife pest vitos

>>21207554
FAAAAAAAG

Off-topic bullshit is how we roll

File: 1350760371147.png-(884 KB, 827x465, Chief.png)

Bumping with DeVitos

Casino/Indian DeVito

>>21208729

Rambo DeVito

File: 1350760499410.png-(813 KB, 788x570, Rambo.png)

>>21208729

File: 1350760819640.png-(333 KB, 479x425, Guido.png)

GuidoVito

>>21208829
Danny GuidVito

File: 1350761187133.png-(695 KB, 777x425, stopmotion.png)

Even your cartoons arent safe.

>>21201927
>First, how do people breed? Mental images aside, should some DeVito's be male and some female, or should they all be hermaphrodites
Danny Devito is male. CLEARLY it wouldn't be a setting populated by Danny Devitos if his chromosomes were altered.
Perhaps the population is maintained by something not seen as sex in our reality*?

* this twisted hellscape populated by Danny Devitos that simply...Aren't,

Imagine this as an apocalyptic setting.
A Devititis plague overtakes the earth.
Infection is not uniform, some are immune, others transform at slower rates.
You are a member of the last group of humans struggling to survive in a world overrun with ravenous Devitos.
At any moment a member of your party can transform into a Devito. No one is safe.

bump

best thread on tg

Okay, that's it. Time to make an Ork army entirely out of Devitos. Weird Boyz will be penguin, commandoz are Ramboz, da Boyz are just random Devito roles. Who would nobz and the warboss?

>>21209562
Depends. If you're alright with costars you could use Ahnold as the Warboss.

Dunno about nobs, though. Suppose I should read the wiki article.

>>21209736
No costars, everyone is Devito.

File: 1350769077638.gif-(18 KB, 513x461, doublepistolsandawink.gif)

Two pistols and a wink for you, /tg/. Hardest I've laughed in weeks.

>>21210312
Only thing I can think of is Mickey Bergman, the fence from The Heist.

>>21201927
dammit /tg/