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>>21243887
Bumpity-bump-BUMP

Also I found my Catmas look.

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>>21244309
But it's October! That's scary costume time!

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>>21244494
Well this one tends to send people running the other way.

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>>21244541
And heres what happens when you mix Dragon and Demon. Scary.

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>>21244593
Dragons and sheep.

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>>21245038
Of course, no one wants to make little children cry.

Thread 28 isn't in the archive, so here's an alternate.

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21211847/#21211847

>>21245230
Yeah I told people. Hey I am at work. Someone needs to take care of the Thread crap. Archive it, make a new one. Did anyone listen? Nope.

>>21245078
Daaaw

>>21245287

Seems we need to pick a thread. This one or that one or both.
>>21245358

>>21245287
I was asleep at the time. I may sleepbrowse every so often, but I don't think I can do anything that complicated while sleeping.

>>21245386
This one seems to have more attention, so I say this thread.

Now, back to the discussion at hand.

>>21245526
Well then you get a pass. Me? I was helping an important client at the time. "I am legally obligated to tell you.."

"Nope don't care. Get it done."

Such is California business.

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I have raided the entirety of the Gelboru database on the word Oni.

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>>21245811

>>21245811
Impressive. Most impressive. But you are not a knight yet.

>>21245811
>2830 images tagged with oni
that's not that much

>>21245895
....only an insane person would want me to be a knight. agic does funny things to people, and dealing with Fey is not conducive to acting in the best interests of a third party.

>>21245906
No, but weeding out the chaff from the good, and doing it in 4 hours, isn't too bad.

>>21245906
Looking for specific pictures for my stories is kinda picky.

The burning pirate pic took waayy longer than it should have.

You can only go mushroom zombie so much before it turns into zombie or mushroom, for example.

And don't get me started on fishmen...

>>21245924
Do you have any quotes for a newspaper-like article?

Preferably on the following:
Espionage, Religion, Matrimony, Theatre/Cinematography, Strange Fires?

>>21245924
>only an insane person would want _____
you do know where you are right?

>>21245933
just so you know searching "oni rating:safe" instead of just "oni" hacked 69 pages down to 45, so you can save time by looking for worksafe only stuff

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>>21245991
...why would I want to do that?

>>21245948
Real or made up?

>>21246032
this is for searching for stuff you can post here, that way you don't get banned and i don't have to wait three days for your next post

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>>21245924
We let Gearheart be a knight and he's getting magic stuff out the wazoo.

>>21246032
Well, check the bottom of the last thread for ideas, if you're talking about the quotes.

Preferably in character, something like that. Given that quotes from the Knights Harem (writers/characters) are rather easy, due to the times they keep, a Word from a rare Witch will do as well.

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>>21246070
Spies fighting each other to the death in the streets for no determinable reason?
"If you are asking me whether or not they're spies, then obviously they're not spies. If they were spies, you'd never notice them."
Several houses burning down for no determinable reason?
"....I wasn't there, promise. If I was there, it wasn't me. If it was me, then you have a different sort of problem entirely."
The latest plays and movies that the media-inclined are pumping out?
"....what?"
The sudden influx of foreign religions (Iron Church, Elven Ancestors, Dwarven Mountain-hug, etc)?
"I'm still working on mine, thanks. I'll get back to you."
Everyone deciding to get married in the same timeframe?
"....pollen. Has to be. Maybe fungal blooms."

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>>21246064
I rest my case about insane people wanting magic users as knights.....

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>>21246269
Yes, but you strike me as more professional, and not as crazy/dangerous/openly deviant

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No one's talked in a while...

Hello? Anybody home?

>>21246717
yes, just doing chem homework without the book, which takes a while, but i am lurking

also, to stimulate discussion, last i checked the world shaking event was down to either FS vs. mirthterrah or the literal world shaking that ends with TeeGee getting sea access, which do you want and why

>>21246414
........that's because you don't know who I ~REALLY~ am.

Actually, most often it has to do with how magic weilders break down. Either they go power mad, insane mad, or lose control of their magic in some manner and cause a hell of a lot of problems. I would much rather sidestep both responsibility and temporal power, because magical power, like all power, corrupts....and corruption through magic is far more dangeorus than any other type of corruption.

And no, I'm not talking about chaos or demonic corruption, just generic everyday messed up thinking kind of corruption. Causal use of magic for mundane things to the point of easily making a stupid mistake. When you have temporal power, those kind of mistakes spell danger for everyone around you.

There's a reason wizards are hermits.

>>21246717
Working on studying for exams and writing.

>>21246764
See one of my previous stories for an example.
Also, doesn't Sensate magic carry some sort of "junkie" or "sense-freak" stigma, due to the way it works?

And yes, why Isn't there a branch of TeeGeeans/Old Realmers dedicated to experimental stuff? The fallout, that's why.

>Captcha: alphavirus edgearce
Well, that's certainly not foreboding!

>>21246813
>why Isn't there a branch of TeeGeeans/Old Realmers dedicated to experimental stuff?
we have The Hole, it's our R&D

>doesn't Sensate magic carry some sort of "junkie" or "sense-freak" stigma
not even sure what those stigmas are

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>>21246761
I'm going to go with the latter, for shark related reasons. Namely fighting them. I want to fight a shark.

>>21246764
Excellent reasoning. The job offer's still open, though; the brotherhood could always use more people well versed in magic.

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>>21246873
Why leap at the shark when you have a chainsaw attached to a really long pole?

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>>21246873
Idea!

Remember my Underdark stories?

Remember how the [Family] have access to seismic weaponry and lousy judgement?

Remember how the Fungal Legions march?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

>>21246764
Darn your giving away his coming breakdown into madness. Also why GearHeart is not on the council and such.

Yep I live far from town and it makes everyone happier.

>>21246813
Yes it does. I may or may not have done that on purpose. I also may or may not have just ripped crap from Planscape.

>>21246414
I take offense at the professional part. Not so much the rest. Most of the time the crazy is calculated for results. Think of me as a different weapon in the arsenal.

>>21246897
Because badass

>>21246852
>>21246813
Well, look at it this way. Sensates rely on sensation to study and use their magic. Such magic is usually elemental in nature....but not always. The feel of something is potent, and magic, any magic, is a lot like sex - a lot of work for an explosive release that does incredible things. Utterly neutral in tone as that is, the good and the bad do not even begin to balance out because it's a hell of a lot easier to break stuff than make stuff with magic. Sensate magic is no different, but unlike Austist magic, there is no objectivity to it whatsoever - it's all you, all purposeful, and there is no 'accidentally' using Sensate magic once it's yours - it's far too personal and requires too much personal investment to even begin casting it. You can merely fuck up an Autist spell and that's not necessarily your fault. You don't find too many cases of Sensate magic where there are fuckups, because those are usually fatal to the user, and it doesn't often leave witnesses either.

>>21246897
why not

>>21246907
>[Family]
>seismic weaponry
>lousy judgement
sorry, don't know much about the first two, i'll have to ask Salmon

>>21246910
i thought you weren't on the council because we didn't let immortals serve

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>>21246907
Yes, yes, not really, YES.

>>21246897
Because sometimes, you need to leap at a god damn shark with a chainspear.

>>21246910
Not professional in that you don't get stuff done; professional in that you don't come off as businesslike as Witch. Then again, none of us are exactly suit wearing serious business guys.

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>>21246910
>>21246965
>>21246994
I prefer roasting them. Gives them a nice flavor.

>>21246907
Well as I remeber FK v. M was leading barely so we would need to rediscussed that. But your plan would work should we go that route.

>>21246945
It always makes me happy to see other people get it.

>>21246965
That too, but hes not yet. Wait spoilers. :) I added that part of the constitution for the very reasons A Witch brought up.

>So anyone want to hear my latest gym story which involves a kid nearly killing himself with a basketball?

>>21246994
See I find crazy and bluff work far better in my line of work so that may shift my view of it heavily.

>>21247030
you can't complain about me spoiling your immortality thing when you've already written about having grandkids and still looking young

also, what is the official position on semi-immortals

>>21246994
Making yourself breathe leads to a lot more self control than is normal for most people. Just because I seem professional and emotionless doesn't mean I am - it means that I'm being careful.

Don't worry, you'll eventually see the other side of the coin.

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>>21247060
I see professional, but not emotionless. Just in control.

>>21247058
I was joking. But I though I just said that Lilly looked young. I need to reread that then.

>>21247060
Breathing excerzise is how I stopped being a violent person irl. Well less violent.

>>21247102
She has a red hot blackness burning inside her.

>>21247135
if you aren't sure then i may have read wrong, was a while ago

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>>21247058
Define semi-immortal; it can mean several things.

Also, I thought we elected the council for terms, not life, so in that case, wouldn't immortality be a moot point?

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>>21247030
>>21246761
FK v Mirthterrah was winning by votes, but we hadn't finalized why they were fighting.
But if people want a more literal earth shaking event, and vote for it, why not?

There could be a third option...

>>21247167
Lem said life terms and that is what the constitution says.

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>>21247167
As far as I know, Harbringer's the only "immortal" in the city. Given that they disappeared from the threads some time ago, we'll never know.

As for lifetimes of dragons, demons and such? Still in the air.

The immortality council thing might have a US presidential-type clause that forbids repeated terms.

>>21247206
If that's the case, I'd better get started explaining how much of a threat mushroom men could be...

>>21247167
Immortals don't have the same perspective as mortals do. It's not a matter of how long they live, it's a matter of how they view life as it is lived.

>>21247167
someone who can still be killed and still technically ages, but may very well live to see his or her 1000th birthday (also, if silver aniversary is 25 years, gold 50, and platinum 75, just what metal is 1000)


and here is law stuff
https://docs.google.com/document/d/13ACKYH-gFRcfWXpAhcWWYPos6Tek9ssAAyzFpMIBOXc/edit?pli=1#

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>>21247232
...I'm allergic to mushroom spores. I will have to look into antifungal potions....

>>21247206
I think FK now would be best save Topsy turvey for the very next year.

>>21247262
These mushrooms are verrrry aggressive.

I believe a farmer writer showed how bad they could be.
And that's just the scum of it!

>>21247264
Very well then. I'll await consensus. If we are going for FK vs M, then I'll have to tie it in with all the spies killing each other off.

Lack of intel leads to war breaking out? More likely than you think.

>>21247260
according to this very document, a Councilman serves "until people no longer want the DM". This would imply elective terms, but it never states whether it's that or a councilman for life thing.
My vote would be for 5 year terms, personally.

>>21247232
>>21247260
>>21247346

Ok rereading my doc. I realized we struck the old section out and never replaced it with a new one. So discuss people.

>>21247346
i thought it meant "gets elected and stays there until he gets fired by the people" which could be an official vote or just a sufficiently large angry mob outside the castle gate screaming for his blood

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>>21247360
>>21247346
>>21247260
Politics. I don't care how long they serve or why they serve, as long as they remember they are serving. Immortals and the unaging are both right out - they have a very different value set on life as it is lived, because when you outlive generations of a species, it's all too easy to think in terms of sacrificing some for the sake of many, or not sacrificing any for the sake of survival.

The value of life is life-as-lived, not survival of the species nor absolute survival of the individual. There MIGHT be exceptions, but you'd have to work hard at convincing me that anything that lives over three centuries is going to think in the same reference as any mortal does.

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>>21247232
My understanding is that demons are immortal.
No one knows about dragons, and they aren't about to tell anyone either.

>>21247386
Thats what it implies

>>21247462
Demons are functionally immortal. They don't really age normally and they come back if killed except for if killed in just the right way by an over the top badass.

>>21247445
okay then, no super long lived being either.
also, an axe made of axes? nice

>>21247462
>No one knows about dragons, and they aren't about to tell anyone either.
all i ever get when asking Rydia's age is at least twice as old as me

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>>21247508
So they mature(Unless there's no reason too.), but don't get old?

>>21247559
Got it in one.

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>>21247545
She probably forgot her exact age. Kuro's the same way.

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>>21247386
Wait, so they WANT a system that involves the guillotine every decade or so?

>>21247579
or a vote, remember we can kick them out before they fuck up to the point of angry mob

>>21247579
>>21247597
Which brings us to the oldest point. What is the nature of a man.

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>>21247579
No need for guillotines.
Unless you're into that kind of thing

>>21247630
....I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate you.

>>21247597
That just seems kinda... bad. The other councilmen can abuse this to create an elite aristocracy of sorts, via political backstabbing and whatnot.

>>21247634
You know that how I always pictured Ruby.

>>21247655
Guilty as implied.

>>21247657
Should we have a redrawing of the constitution?

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>>21247630
Crazy.

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>>21247314
My view of a M v. FK conflict would have a Mirthterran jarl attacking the Free Kingdoms over some political incident that ignites with little warning. It would start quickly so Mirthterrah won't be bringing it's full might to bear making the outcome inevitable, and a smaller conflict means we can actually influence events.

What political incident might occur? I liked the idea of the "no inter-species relations" policy being involved, as it gives us a solid reason to sit up and take interest. Like my previous example of some noble getting caught with some felim/kanin/whatever and fleeing into the nearby FK causing the church/jarl to attempt to being him back with force.

Could be any reason, heresy, standard Game of Thrones stuff, but it would be optimal if it related to something that concerns TeeGee's interests.

Oh hey, I haven't seen one of these threads since...well, I can't even remember the number of the last thread I was in.
Anything significant happen since Orcs and festival?

>>21247693
I find it funny both answered crazy and pointed to me. MY plan is working MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHWHAWEHAWHAWHAWHHAWHWAHAW

>>21247877
Significant not really big yes. We were just discussing what the next big thing was

>>21243887

Why can't you be good at making OPs like the Librarian?

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Harem_Knights <- 1d4chan page
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21211847/ <- Last thread

Khru Thai got captured by a Mirthan church, GearHeart's doing THINGS for Tera, Clover has something in the works, and Olin is wrapping up the Coininoch visit.

>>21247919
I can. I have just been following the form set up in the early days. If people want to I will switch. Also I am not de facto thread guy. Its just no one else ever does. Hence why this thread wasn't archived.

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>>21247883
You sure it isn't my plan?

>>21247956
Your plan is to convince everyone your a crazy dangerous mage so they leave you alone and stuff?

In other news. DMs now serve for a maximum of 4 terms of 5 years.

I be alive mates, ready for action.

Just send the word.

>>21248015
If you have a story post it we need some action.

>>21247903
Oh? What kind of big? Need to make sure what I'm writing doesn't conflict.

>>21248040
We're thinking either a small war or an earthquake that gives us ocean access.

>>21248053
He means wha happened well he was gone

>>21248040
Well
>Spies
>We have a school now
>Burka Thai was taken by the Iron chruch
>Shacklesbane is no longer going solo
>Lilly went good for real
>A witch has been running around doing witchy things
>Alaric is being chased by monsters
>And a whole bunch of other stuff help me out guys
>Oh yes I and a few others found a secret flying dragon city with no dragons

>>21248101
Ah, okay then. Shouldn't cause any problems.
>>21248053
I can give y'all something to worry about, but there's no telling when I'll be done writing it all up.
Actually, I can probably just move my dates further along in time and everything will still fit.

>>21248199
what we were planing takes place around 10-11AA I think

>>21248229
I would still say that's too late, 8-9 ish would be better. Space events too far apart and we won't have any breathing room down the road.

>>21248229
Oh. Much further down the line than I was expecting. I was going to shoot for 7 or 8ish.

>>21248031

No sorry, been busy. However, I am excited to hear that you want water access!

Maybe I should be getting back soon... Cut my vacation to the Free Kingdoms a little short perhaps.

>>21247157
You were right.

>>21248229
Ill go for that hows end of 8 sound

>>21248267
Well you better get your stuff in then so we can factor it in

>>21248308
Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Three more tests this week isn't going to help.

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>>21247657
the ones voting are the regular citizens

>>21247877
pandacats/champions of justice are now canon
also, have you writefagged before or are you still just a random anon?

>>21247956
i've always loved that pic since the throne has the digimon crest of light on it

>>21248300
you aren't the one that causes the MvFK fight are you?

>>21248308
>i was right
holy crap

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>>21248529

Uhm... No...

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>>21248529
Meow.

>>21248580
Ok, seriously, what the heck is a pandacat?

This is like the time you were all talking about funnel cake, isn't it?

>>21248604
thing from hanamaru kindergarten, Gainax's best anime

>>21248629
Better than Guren Laguan I don't know

>>21248647
Gurren Lagaan doesn't have pandacats, and if it did the antispirals wouldn't have even had a chance

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>>21248675
Antispirals never had a chance to begin with. They lacked power levels.

>>21248761
antispirals could have won if they hadn't broken one of the first rules of combat, never underestimate your opponent. send grand zamboa off to earth once the million apes mark was hit and they would have won

>>21249532
You know why its the first? Its the first cause its the one just about everyone forgets.

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>>21249532
>>21249577
Too many ninjas.

>>21249663
who are also demigod spies?
also, why does that pic have a cat eared math professor in the top right?

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>>21249663
Anyone have something they'd like to see me do with Kuro and Belle?

>>21249726
To easy.

But no we really should handle the Marick thing. If you want to work on that Im up for it.

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>>21249716
Everyone loves cats.

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>>21249752
Then that's what I'll start working on next.

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if we still haven't settled on the whole council issue i propose that all members be chosen by strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ml83wdhx_A

>>21249937

Lady in the Lake style eh?

I approve. I could use a magical sword.

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>>21249964
Kuro wants a magic sword too. Hers keep breaking.

>>21249964
i can see it now
"hey guys i get to be on the council now"
"really? why?"
"this moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me"
"really? well we have to do a quick physical so come into this padded room for a minute"

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>>21249986
yay, i know just what to get you for a present now
this thing went through a boulder without a scratch

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>>21250070
That thing looks like a club

>>21250116
nope, it's a sword. about the most indestructible thing in that show too, and that's without magicking it up

>>21250070
What horrible encoding, as expected of Thai subs for underwater ray romano?

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>>21250116
May I interest you in a multi bladed whip sword then?

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>>21250151
Too fragile.

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>>21250174
How about a.... whatever the fuck this is?

>>21250151

I'll stick with a longsword. Maybe... a greatsword! I could use an upgrade to a blade I found in the middle of the Ork invasion.

By the way, if no one noticed, Giovanni has slight PTSD about that day. I've got it in a few of his stories.

>>21250185
Doesn't look right.

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>>21250229
A flamberge?

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>>21250283
A longsword. One that won't break.

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Inquisitor Lamarr sat his desk. He was displeased to say the least. It had been only a week ago that his “guest’s” journal had teleported itself from Feros. So far there have been no signs of Teegee moving to rescue his captive. They were probably waiting for him to lower the guard around Feros before striking. He could only keep up the alert for so long after all. If no threat materialised itself, he’d have to lower the alarm before the other inquisitors decry his abuse of power.

Spread over his mahogany desk were various observation reports and interrogation transcripts concerning his captive. Amongst the Inquisition he was known as the foremost expert on the danger that Teegee posed but that was only because of his near spotless track record. Three years ago, he wouldn’t have dreamt he’d be able to acquire one of their heretics so that he’d be able to pick their minds. It had been almost too easy how the heretic had found itself trapped by the Church of Illumination. However, this one was proving to be resilient.

>>21250368
It couldn’t be helped, the heretic was in possession of a magic journal. It was specifically dependent on the heretic’s life so Lamarr had to employ less than lethal methods to ensure that it did not teleport itself back to Teegee. The journal had to be kept, it was also enchanted to resist destruction, it was simply a shame that his assistant, Sister Miriam, had been unable to detect the last enchantment. It was probably nested in the main teleportation enchantment and whatever magical trickery mages could come up with kept it hidden from scrying.

The heretic called himself Khru Thai, some kind of teacher. Obviously he was a scholar and Lamarr looked over the early transcripts and his mouth curled in disgust.

“Do you believe in God?”
“I do.”
“What is God’s name?”
“Does it matter?”

Of course the name of God mattered. You didn’t want to anger Myrthter after all but the heretic didn’t seem to mind. He blasphemed even further as time went on.

“You will renounce your misguided ways.”
“Never! As long as I remember Her, I will never be alone. She protects.”

He had him sedated afterwards. The beatings and other tortures he had tried had only resulted in stripping the sanity from the heretic. He suspected that Teegee were debauched, deviant and faithless heretics but this was the first time he got confirmation. There was suspicion that a missive regarding the investigation of Teegee’s blasphemous practices was intercepted and replaced with a false report.

>>21250384
Well two could play that game.

“Sister Miriam, can you fetch me the report on your friend Fokker?”
“Right away Inquisitor Lamarr.”

The ginger-haired assistant had gotten up from her desk on the farther edge of the room and began to rummage through the shelves filled with all manner of reports. Lamarr didn’t have a big office since it was mostly taken up by literature he had compiled over the course of his career. He needed an assistant just to find anything at all in the office that wasn’t on his desk.

For the most part he was debating whether to visit the heretic today. The last week had seen the heretic sitting cross legged and praying. Or maybe it was better to let Miriam handle him. He was done trying to pry anything useful from the heretic as all he got yesterday was chants of “Madoka” over and over again.

He had ripped that information from the mind of the heretic. “Madoka” was a diety of sorts, perhaps an angel of death that appears to those that apparently worship her and secrets them away to the afterlife. Maybe he shouldn’t have. What he saw was a visual retelling of this false god’s legend. It was wondrous. Such moving pictures dredged from the memories of the heretic was so touching. Even if he didn’t understand their language there was enough context to go from.

>>21250392
The process was painful for the heretic, as it should be, and he felt a certain satisfaction in the process. It was imperfect however, all that could be recalled were life-defining moments and most the heretic’s memories were about institutionalised girls and their meaningless interactions apart from the one that referred specifically to “Madoka”. That and the heretic called him a “mo-eh fag” and a “ki yo anus licker”. They were no doubt insults but Lamarr had no idea what they actually meant.

“Here, Inquisitor,” Miriam handed him the report on Fokker.
“Thank you Sister.”

This file was on a man who called himself Fokker. He was supposedly someone who had saved Miriam’s life months back and a friend to his assistant. Miriam herself wasn’t someone he’d consider appropriate for his line of work and thus had mostly kept her out of the loop. Still he wanted to reform these heretics and she had been instrumental in the few that did come back to the light. To bad they had to be set alight in the end but she didn’t need to know that.

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>>21250331
Not sure there's one like that, with or without magic. I can recommend, however, that you simply carry several swords at once.

>>21250396
As for Fokker, Lamarr suspected him to be a Teegee spy but there wasn’t any incriminating evidence so far, that and Fokker was probably not his real name. What kind of man would gift such a hideous animal to Miriam? Still Miriam’s pet had been the perfect messenger despite the trouble of getting it to do so. All he needed to do was feed Miriam some false information and hope that Fokker would act on it and confirm his suspicions.

It was a dangerous game he was playing. The odds were against him and if he failed then there was more at stake than just his standing within the Inquisition that was at risk. Briefly, Lamarr considered simply releasing the heretic with a memory block but no such thing had been done before and his colleague would probably not approve of it.

“Sister, would you mind if I had lunch with you this tomorrow?”
“Well no, but are you sure Inquisitor? I know you don’t get along with Fokker.”
“I think I’ve been working too hard as of late, Miriam. It’ll be a nice change of pace.”
“Certainly Inquisitor.”

>>21250406
I suspect the good inquisitor is on to me. His blatant attempt to feed me information on Feros however will be vital in maintaining my cover and aiding the recovery team avoid the traps that the inquisitor has no doubt set. Feros is hidden underneath the same district as the Church of Illumination in Midyahs.

I’ve conducted several recces at the behest of the Blades who wish to retrieve a package inside. I’ve been aided of the pandacat and Miriam, who doesn’t seem to be aware of why I’m visiting her so often. Attached is a map with the most expedient routes, and their alternatives, in and out of the city and general area. I’ve also memorised the times for the normal guard patrols though given the inquisitor this could change considerably.

>>21250415
The inquisitor has mentioned that he doesn’t have enough guardsmen for the southern part of the district and my reconnaissance supports his claim. However, the buildings on the south side have balconies and wide windows facing all the major approaches, I would recommend insertion from the eastern sewer entrance. There is a nearby tavern and I don’t think the guards would suspect drunkards wandering near them. Lamarr has also mentioned the “troublesome guest” he is host to in the “northern guest wings” wings. There is a high chance that it is a trap so I suggest that part of the facility be searched last.

Speed however is of the essence. I do not know for how long the package will remain in place. So far I have not seen signs of it being moved so they are probably expecting something but that could change. The inquisitor is of a rather high station so there are political ramifications for his actions. If there were to be a package retrieval, I suggest it should be done by the end of the week. By then the security should be relaxed enough to make such a thing possible without the risk of the package being moved elsewhere.

Feels nice to write something different for a change. Hope this helps the rescue.

>>21250429
If it were me I would air drop on the northern side of the building at night and then go through the roof. Sewer entrance is the kind of thing I would put lot of guards on. Then again thats me.

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>>21250384
Given their interest in magic journals, you'd think the Church would act differently. An Arch Inquisitor he aint. Hasn't got the chops for it.

>>21250396
A ki-yo what now?

>>21250415
Feros is a popular name, isn't it? Not surprising given that it's Fe, the name and symbol for Iron.

>>21250392
>madoka
i laughed way too hard at this

>>21250415
>pandacat has infiltrated the church
FUCK YES

>>21248604
There is a flash on /f/ now about Pandacat. http://images.4channel.org/f/src/loli%20cat%20girl.swf

>>21250668
to be fair, that isn't a pandacat, that's a girl dressed like a pandacat

Question; what language are we speaking? Is it English, is it being translated as we hear it, or was the local tongue braindumped into us when we arrived?

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>>21252223
Maybe it's all three?

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>>21252450
So we all speak English, after having the language translated into English for us, which just so happens to be the local equivalent of English braindumped into our heads to live among the not-French?

...sounds standard for the setting.

>>21252223
Quoting the early threads (ie 1-3): "Common" but to us it's known as English.

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>>21252469
Exactly. If you were to look into the mind of an Outrealmer while speak with some random guy in common, you'd get a lot of gibberish as the two languages are processed simultaneously.

>>21252500
Huh.

Then that "could" explain the insane look in our eyes when other people talk to us, but it wouldn't explain why our lips and voices aren't moving out of sync like a badly dubbed Hong Kong flick.

What if...Common was English, being translated for us into English! No one would think of something that redundant, other than a crazy wizard.

Then again, English aint my first language per se. Oh great googly-moogly, imagine the horrible feedback the early test subjects must have gotten.

Well, one of Fearghaile's stories (I think it was Fearghaile, anyway) mentioned the braindump method. Another writefag (I think an anon) was using the auto-translation method. I recall him saying that the name Dorf Strongfast was a quirk of the translation.

Common = English is the boring method, but it's the route most people seem to assume. It does bring up the question of how proto-Common grew into Common, though. Linguistic history and all that. But unless Tolkein's secretly lurking these threads, I don't think we'll need to worry about that.

The braindump method means that English could be used as a code of sorts between Outrealmers, though if this were the case it would've been mentioned before.

Auto-translation doesn't seem to have any problems to me, but I might think of something later. We can assume that it only works between English and Common, though. Also, the Hong Kong dub bit amuses me.

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>>21252584
Maybe we have some amateur Tolkiens among us.

>>21252584
I believe I did something on that at one point too. Demons translate their language to a range of others when speaking, so its possible we do to by virtue of thatfuckinwizard.

>>21253155
I don't remember seeing that in any thread. and I introduced demons to this world.

In other news the next part of Jim goes to Hell...again. Is coming up soon.

>>21253654
Back in thread 23 or 24 I think it was I did a piece about fighting Queelagg, then explained being able to speak to her later as a pact with the Fair Lady.

>>21253720
Oh yeah I remember know. Just didn't connect that name to it.

Also Im going with some of them do some of them don't as that wouldn't be all that great for some tricksters.

>>21253720
Oh yeah, that was you. When I mentioned one of Fearghaile's stories, I was thinking of you. Sorry, I have a horrible memory for names.

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>>21253776
Yeah, most people's names beginning with Sir tends to get confusing, more so since I don't usually write much gamechanging stuff.

I can generally be trusted to be the source of and Dark Soul references though.

The Lady of pain as a waifu. is it possible?

>>21254150
Which Lady of Pain? Thers only like 10. If not more. If you mean Planescape one then it would take some work but I see no reason not. GearHearts being lead around by two bitchy goddesses.

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I've thought about it, and came up with a list if things that Kuro and Belle can improve upon.
>Belle could use a new shield. Her current one is plain steel.
>Belle's spare sword could you replacing. It's just plain steel too.
>Kuro needs a helmet. She never found the one that came with her suit.
>Kuro could use a new sword. It keeps breaking, even when it is made out of tougher materials.

>>21256056
Go with a heater shield it absorbs 100% of damage. There Dark Souls reference. Make it a magic one with a push spell on it.

>>could use a new sword. It keeps breaking
Someone needs to invest in a smithbox

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>>21256212
Smithbox?

>>21254150
no, and i'm not just saying that because i would prefer to keep godlike beings out of the setting (last i checked they weren't allowed to interfere, and in all honesty gearheart's thing is reminding me of the last two seasons of stargate sg1) but also because The Lady of Pain doesn't leave Sigil

>>21256056
>Belle could use a new shield. Her current one is plain steel.
i just use a particularly large dragon scale
and for a sword i still say make an I beam, add a handle, then sharpen part of it

>>21256333
item from one of the Dsouls games that lets you repair your gear on your own

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>>21256333
A kit for field repairs of weapons and armor.

You have to be able to at least do minor fixes on your gear to call yourself an adventurer.

>>21256503
One your sharp. Two implying thats a bad thing. Some of us liked the last two seasons. Claudia Black was fun. Also like I said the gods dicking around with GearHeart is sort of based off of old myths. But yes none involvement policy which is complicated and demons and Fey break like mad.

>>21256559
i did like the last two seasons, the ancients just annoyed the hell out of me
"the ori are going to end all life as we know it"
"sucks huh?"
"aren't you going to do anything?"
"nope"
"why not?"
"we can't interfere"
"but you're talking to me right now"
"and?"
"that's interfering"
"well i'm allowed this much"

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>>21256503
>>21256541
Can it repair shattered weapons in the middle of combat?

>>21256663
shattered weapons yes
middle of combat no

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>>21256663
I say get her one of these.

>>21256658
See as much as that bugged the hell out of me it was my favorite part. Fuck the gods its up to the heroes. What does it matter if an all powerful being does everything and controls all the bits. But a hero, now thats a different story. Its what I like about SG1 it was blatant HFY but it was good. Its why the two sequel series didn't work they lost the laugh in the face of the odds we gona save the shit out of everyone.

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>>21256783
Still don't understand Universe.

>>21256685
Hm... Needs to be able to fix stuff in combat.

>>21256987
Thats cause Universe and Atlantis completly missed the point of SG1.

>>21256987
Keep your weapons in good repair and that shouldn't be an issue unless you're trying to break rocks with them.

All else fails, carry some spares.

>>21256987
book of exalted deeds has this

Aurorum: This luminous steel gleams with varying hues of pink and indigo. An aurorum weapon, shield, or suit of armor that has been sundered can be reformed by bringing together its fragments (a full-round action). The broken pieces bond quickly and seamlessly, restoring the item to its previous state. The market price modifier for an aurorum weapon, shield, or suit of armor is +4,000 gp.

won't keep your stuff from breaking but basically lets you Lego it back together

>>21257102
And for +4000gp thats a steal.

>>21257101
It is a dragon hefting the thing.

>>21257211
Ah. Might I recommend a Toledo steel equivalent weapon(dwarves should be able to provide that) or getting her a hammer instead?

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>>21257101
Kuro is more likely to hack through armor than look for weak points.
Younger dragons aren't too big on the finesse thing.

>>21257101
Belle already carries a spare, in case she or Kuro lose theirs.

>>21257296
Good idea hammers are always good. Name it the Goldragon Crusher for fun. Just don't kill any stars with it.

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>>21257334
may want to rethink the name, what with TeeGee having a gold dragon

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>>21257380
Well Goldlion Crusher A doesn't work as well in her case. and B The Goldlion Crusher never crushed golden lions. Make it look like a dragon head then and call it the Blackragon Smasher for all I care. But look at this pic http://www.flickr.com/photos/asianguy/4648867968/

>>21257571
i think i missed the reference, no clue what that is or what it's from

>>21257654
Its a hammer bigger than the SUN! its from King of Braves GaoGaiGar. Not knowing your great super robot animus for shame.

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>>21257713
all my TV growing up came from rabbit ears i made myself, i didn't have a lot of choices when it came to what to watch, and my current anime backlog is huge.
also, if we're going to to post giant weapons, something the size of the sun is small time, pic very related, and that isn't even his drill

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>>21257334
You might be able to convince Kuro to change her fighting style.
Big pointy thing in one hand and a little pointy thing in the other

Or she might just carry the hammer along with everything else.

>>21257790
Well yeah it doesn't come bigger than Tegen Toppen Guren Lagann... Fuck it I can't remember the exact name of the final form.

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>>21257926
Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
and here's his drill compared to him

>>21257958
I know I have seen the show. Like I said it does not get bigger than Gurren Lagann

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>>21257958
>>21257984
Fucking drills.

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>>21257958
Must... Resist... Size Queen joke.

Anyone expanded on the Felim? what sort of culture do they have? How about Aesthetics? eastern? western? middle eastern? are they matriarchal or not? sorry for asking too many questions.

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>>21258374
I've actually been meaning to ask this. All we know is that they're nomadic and I think the females outnumber the males by a fair bit. They're also naturally inclined to help the unfortunate, it seems.
For aesthetics, I'm tempted to vote for vaguely Chinese. Dat dao.

>>21258374
religion is the 9 divines, based on 9 huge rivers that run through their land which looks kind of like the redwood forest. at least that's what i remember

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>>21258538
>>21258704
Do we have any ideas beyond this?

>>21258704
Just checking, the Nine Divines are absent, right?

Working on some stuff about a Knight Errant/Grail Knight/whatever you call those guys who look for stuff.

As for aesthetics, I always thought they favored simplistic or easy to construct things, being nomadic. Then again, I have no idea how nomads work culturally.

>>21260688
not sure, up until gearheart being chosen as a god's champion i thought all the gods were keeping out of things.
not sure on nomadic stuff, irl i think some followed herds of animals, some had permanent dwellings in different locations so they could move from place to place each year in one big circle with their current spot always being where ever food was growing at the time, some went city to city trading stuff

>>21260779
Well when me and Lem were doing the Lilly redemption story we figured most of the gods were crazy and Tera more so than the others what with being tortured during the Star war. gods and demons drew up a treaty. Demons break it rather blatantly at times. But for the most part the gods stick to it. Tera deiced she had enough of two bit demons fucking with her toys so she picked a champion. This in no why reflects on any other god.

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>>21260913
Why doesn't Tera just make ALL the knights her champions, appearing individually to each while appealing to them in a personal manner?
I don't think any fa/tg/uy could resist being a Holy Champion, and then she's amassing a small army.

>>21261190
>appealing to them in a personal manner
so personalizing her torture

>I don't think any fa/tg/uy could resist being a Holy Champion
A holy champion? yes, i'll admit that personally i'd probably like that
Tera's holy champion? hell no

also, having an entire kingdom chosen by the Mother Goddess of a world when most of the people she'd be choosing aren't even her "children" doesn't sit right with me.

not to mention other gods stepping in and saying "we don't need Tera fucking up millenia of a relatively stable world, let's throw her in a cage" and old gods seemed to like caging up other divine beings (loki, fenris, titans, etc.)

>>21261190
One who says she doesn't offer. Two see is crazy. Three there are implied rules about champions. Four crazy, nearly killed Jim and Lilly when they ran into her.

>>21261190
Because that would mean getting to know each Knight, and that's a lot of work. Also, if they all assume that they're her only champion that means they'll be acting alone. Thus, they might interfere with each other's quests. There would be clusterfuck potential.

>>21261387
Forgot about the torture bit. Yep. Everyone getting raped.

But yeah basicly the gods go yeah you can have low random number-most likely one champion. After all one guy can't do much.

Also once again your sharp. Not all of the High Orcs are happy with Jim taking over one of the clans.

>>21261424
Implying she doesn't just read your mind in a rapey fashion.

>>21261644
Right, I was thinking like a mortal.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if a god had multiple champions trying to complete mutually exclusive goals, just to see what'd happen.

Rule #1 of writing gods: Gods are dicks.

>>21261891
Yep, that they are. Have I not been writing her dickish enough? I thought I was doing ok in that department. Cause I might be able to make her worse.

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>>21261891
The we shall simply defy the gods. How, you ask? With the magical holy sword who can slice the Heavens in two with its sheer brilliance!

>>21261931
No, she's plenty dickish.

>>21261984
Well, I was just thinking that she could make his life harder also not just worse/awkward.

“That was disappointing. I hope he has some real fighters for us.” Lilly said.

“Hey! Booming voice guy. You better get the other condiments, cause that weaksauce ain't working.” I shouted.

The floor started to rumble and the wall began to shake.

“Well, next time I think I'll keep my mouth shut.” I said, and then the floor gave way beneath us.

“Damn it.” Lilly dove for me and caught me only after a few seconds of falling.

“Oh, superman. Marry me.”

“Shut up Lois.”

The pit was around six hundred feet deep and twice as wide. Lilly flew up as fast as she could but it was no use, the trapdoor sealed shut before we could reach it. At the bottom of the pit was a great pile of bones. They rose from the ground and swirled about.

“Sweet black fucking sabbath that's a Bone Colossus. Big bad war demon. Really hard to kill.” Lilly said.

It looked up at us. We must have looked like a gnat to it. The thing must have been four hundred feet if an inch.

“I think it has a bone to pick with us.”

“One more and I drop you.”

Thousands of bones and fragments flew our way. Lilly barley had time to start to fall before the projectiles imbedded into the wall behind us.

“How the fuck do we kill this thing?”

“Only know way is to turn all the bones to dust.”

“Fucking asspies on a hot summer day. I'm going to fucking kill this bastard and then I'm going to rape him back to life and then its your turn and after that I kill him again!”

“Feel better?”

“Not really.”

“Well come up with a plan soon as your rather heavy and all this buzzing around is starting to wear me out.”

>>21262337
“You know what. Fuck it, throw me at the big skull. Its dark magic science time.”

“That's the best you got?”

“I'm going to make this fucker look like the guy from Unbreakable.”

“Bruce Willis?”

“No the other guy.”

“Right.” Then Lilly air dropped me like an old school bomb.

As I fell those many feet, I came to the realization I never worked out the landing. Really should have made a magic parachute. Then I could go all Just Cause up in this place. Fuck it magic parachute summoning time.

So I then reinvented the feather fall spell. All things considered it worked well. I came in a bit to fast, felt like I fell ten feet instead of five, but hey better than being splatted. I was on top of the skull, it was a big ass skull I really did not want to know what it came from.

The creature did not have tactile sensation so it didn't notice me and Lilly kept it busy, buzzing it every now and again. I set up a runic circle, carving it into its head.

“Can you hurry it up.” Lilly thought to me.

“Going as fast as I can. Never before done ritual going on. A clear head would help.”

“Its times like this I hate you. Five minutes then I'm coming down there and kicking your cute ass.”

The idea I had was nothing special. Just a new twist on an old one. There was a spell that used milk as a base to heal broken bones. I just planned on doing the reverse.

>>21262349
“Osteoporosis!” I felt stupid but it was the best name for the spell I could come up with.

“What the heck? It looks like the guy is snowing and the bones he throws shatter when they hit the wall now.” Lilly thought at me.

“Good. No fire or lightning magic to I get off this thing.”

Man what I wouldn't give to figure out that teleport spell at a time like this, I though as I went into free fall once again. I activated my feather fall spell and this time it felt more like an eight foot drop. Yeah for improvements.

My fire spells might not pack the same power as Lilly's but they would work for this. I threw a single fireball at the Bone demon. It went up in a explosive fireball that I though was going to kill as also.

After my hearing came back along with the rest of my senses, I found Lilly shaking me.

“What the... I don't even have a word that fits, happened?”

“Bone disease and a dust explosion. Not a trick I expect to use much. But it worked here.” I said getting to my feet.

“You know a warning would have been nice. You know, hey I'm going to vaporize the demon and turn the room into a giant blast furnace, sending you flying through the air.”

“I'm sorry Lilly, you all right?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Good to rock and roll. Now lets go get that guy. Nobody opens up a portal to hell in my house and gets away with it.”

Getting out of the pit proved tricky and took a bit of work. In the end I just worked my self into a rage and cut through the door while Lilly kept me aloft.

To keep this recounting short. We got out, we killed a fuck ton of demons of various type, but nothing as big or tough as the Bone demon.

>>21262361
We were in a long hallway now, one of many. To many. We had been walking down it for a long time.

“To questions. One how long have we been down here and two how much bigger can this place be.”

“We have been down here about twenty hours now. As for the size hard to say.”

“When we are done with this I am sleeping for a week and if you bug me there will be punishments and you won't like them.”

“Don't have to worry about that. I'm starting to feel it to. Hey look the end.” Lilly said pointing to a large red spiked door.

“Yep that looks like a boss door to me.”

On the floor off to the side of the door was a strange group of rods with various ends sticking out. Lilly moaned at the sight of it and not a good moan like she usually does.

The voice boomed out once again. “Hello exiles. You know there is no reason to fight me. I'm one of you as much as you are me. Outcast and Outrealmer and Runaway. All three of us thrown aside. You know Lilly, everyone is talking about you down here. The one who got away. You would not believe how much worse your little stunt has made everything. We all also know it only a matter of time. After all you belong down here with us. Your one of our tools and a good one too. But you know what? You could turn back now. Have a little more of a fake life. Up their, lie to yourself about what you are. Or, or you could play the part of an object and open up that door and come in here and kick my ass and be a true demon. Whats it going to be. Huh? Slutmuffin.”

“I'm going to come in there and rape you with my sword.” I shouted out reaching for the door handle.

Lilly pulled my arm back.

“Ah, almost had you. The whore saved your life, again. You know you really should stop enabling the girl. Every time she saves you she thinks shes a real person. Silly little succubus, your just a baby baker and a soul thief.”

>>21262378
I though I was getting mad, and I was, I was ticked, but the sword wasn't glowing red like it did normally.

“Yep, had to get a lot of stuff to nullify that sword. See intellectually mad and emotionally mad are two different things. Your toy needs emotion. This hall sucks up such emotions, one of the side effects is leaving people inside it drained. So really you only have one choice. The tool plays her part and opens the door like a good slut or you two turn around. I don't care which. But do hurry, I have an important meeting later. Your toy cow will make a fine succubus.”

“@#^*&^#*$^*@#&)*@&#(&)!)(*))#@!><{}{}”^%&” Lilly shouted. I have no clue what she said. I later found out that she was swearing in abyssal. A language that when spoken sounds like flags going off in your head that you should be running. When you swear in it, it wraps perception. As I learned first hand.

The room grew dark, everything started to twist up. I could see sound and taste color. I was bleeding from my ears and nose. I lost track of time, and then she stopped swearing.

“My, my, my, what a mouth on this one. You kiss him with that thing? Surprised he hasn't reeled over dead.”

“Jim, look away and what ever you hear or what ever may happened don't look at me till I say so.”

“If that's what you want.” I said turning away.

“No questions?”

“You can tell me what ever you want when ever you want.”

“Thanks. I really don't want to do this, but I have to. Still don't want to be seen doing this.”

“Oh so the slut will open the Succubi lock. I tell you these things are great. Can only be opened by a good whorish succubi. Its so much fun to hear the sounds they make as they try to handle all the little bits just right to unlock the thing.” Outcast said in his booming voice once more.

>>21262429
It took all my will power to not look at Lilly. It sounded like, I can't even begin to describe it. Tortured was an understatement. After what seemed like forever there was a loud clanking sound.

“Ok, you can turn around now.” Lilly said, her breath raged and her voice raspy.

She looked like hell. Her clothes were torn to shreds she was covered head to toe in lacerations and burn marks and countless over wounds. It looked like she had some broken bones and I don't even know what else.

The voice boomed once more, “You know the worse punishments are the ones we inflict on our selves. So tell me bitch how bad was it.”

“Outcast, SHUT THE FUCK MOTHERING HELL UP. I'M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR DOWN YOU THROAT IT WILL COME OUT YOUR ASS AND LOOP AROUND.” I swore tired of his shit.

“Wow, I can safely say I've never gotten that threat before. I should see if thats even possible. Will have to test it out on a succubi, I bet one of them would love it. What you think Lilly? Sound fun? Want to play~”

We went in through the door. To find ourselves in the most atrociously lavish room yet. Across the room was a throne made out of the still living bodies of women sown together. The sigh of which made me sick. On top the writhing throne was a tall slender being with skin plasticity white and where his face should have been was a red x. He had horns that slicked back like shark fins and his fingers where like steak knives. At his feet was a Succubus in a similar state as Lilly, that is looking like she had been beaten to an inch of her life. Though she wasn't doing as well.

>>21262443
“REMAKEABLE, you know Lilly I might take you as my main toy. Your much more durable than this one. It will be so much fun to break you back in.”

“Outcast, you've changed since last year.”

“Had some work done, upgrades all that. Got to keep up with the ever changing game. Now before you kill me, again. I just want to direct your attention over there.” He said, pointing one of his sharp fingers to the left wall. A light flickered on and there we could see Meina shackled to a wall. Two imps stood next to her and they were prodding her with spears.

I reached into one of my coat pockets and pulled out two knives quickly flinging them as I ran to her. The knives caught the imps in the head. They ran around like headless chickens then the knives exploded, sending silver dust every where. Anti-demon exploding knives. I planed on making sure they were standard kit someday.

“Jame don't.” Lilly yelled as I made it to in front of Meina.

She looked me in the eye and then I could see that it wasn't her. The last thing I heard was Lilly shouting.

“Jim you dumbass hero!”

And then I was in a place I knew well, My mind. Specifically I was in my dream land. The place I go every time I fall asleep, here I had some whack adventures. Becoming a Pokemon master, doing a bounty with Samus, training with Goku, all that stuff. I was in the Kanto region, in a large field of green grass.

>>21262450
I head the sound of shattering glass and metal grinding against metal. I looked up to see the sky shatter into billions of shards that rained down on my world, hope everyone was ok. In the blacked sky a white tear opened up and down from it fell a solid black form. It landed before me with an earth shaking impact.

The thing had landed on its knees and was now pushing it self to its feet. I recognized him, it was my mirror self.

We both opened our mouths to speak, but I was a bit faster. “Your good Ash, that makes me bad Ash.”

He honestly had no clue as to what to say for a minute. “Yeah, that I am. You dark hearted son of a bitch. I've been sent to end your twisted existence.”

“Good to know, evil me isn't insane. I always told people my crazy was a calculated cooping mechanism to keep me sane and other stuff.”

He punched me across the world sending me into Croft Mountain Left. Damn we had just rebuilt it too. Welp more silicon was going on the budget. I did the dragon ball thing and lifted the rubble off of me with energy power. Then I rocked him like a hurricane, throwing the boulders at him. He easily dodged most of them and deflected the rest.

“That all you got me?” Said the shadow.

“No. Goldion Crusher!”

“Goldion what?” It said with a look of horror in its eyes.

And then a hammer big enough to crush the sun fell from the sky. I teleported on top of it right before impact. It crushed everything underneath it into smithereens. Going to have to fix Pokemon world, again. Why this one is always getting destroyed is beyond me. The hammer had come to a stop at Final Fantasy. Terra in her Trance form had caught the hammer and was holding it above her head.

>>21262463
“You don't visit for years and then when you do you drop a hammer on me. I guess I can take the hammer part though, I always did.”

“Sorry about all that. I just...”

“You don't need me any more, I know. I wish I was one of them, but I'm not.”

“So is this it?”

“Does it have to be? I'm just a figment of your imagination. Maybe my old role is over, but I can still be there for you.”

“Your messiah tendencies are showing through.”

“Good, the world needs more of them.”

“Well if its no longer like that, I guess I should get my hammer off you.” I said willing the hammer out of existence. I floated down to the ground, landing in front of her.

“Lets go inside for a bit, a storm is coming.” Terra said walking into her house which was nearby.

I followed after her. The kids she had looked after had all grown up and moved out, leaving her with an empty home. She had sat me down at a table and was fixing up something in the kitchen.

“Hows the rest of the gang?” I asked making small talk.

“Everyone is good. Locke and Celes are still happy together, Edger and Sabin are running Figaro well, both of them driving their wives crazy. Relm and Gau are still cute little love birds. Cyan is... well Cyan. Shadow has made peace with his past and is working on making so with Relm. Seltzer is still a lovable loser.”

“You need somebody.”

“I have lots of somebodies.”

“You know what I mean. A lot of people though you had something with Sabin,”

“I love Sabin like a brother, but he was never the one for me. To much a big kid at heart. I loved Locke, but Celes I loved like a sister. They fit each other and seeing them so makes me happy.”

“You need someone to take care of you.”

>>21262550
“They may not do it in the normal sense. But they do. Celes is all heart, she is the hard place that we all support one another from. One big wheel of support. Isn't that why you need Lilly and Meina? They both supplement the other. Sometimes you just need to let go of everything and Lilly steps up, other times you need someone to be your heart. Just two little examples of why you don't need me anymore.”

“Your not making this any easier. I feel horrible.”

“Good, it makes doing the right thing easier.” She said handing me a mug of tea.

“Just promise me you find someone who isn't broken.”

“No such thing, everyone who has ever lived is broken, just differently. Look at your heroes; Cash, McClain, Logan, me, all the others. All broken, but they don't let that stop them. What makes a hero is keeping on keeping on. You stopped needing me along time ago. Its time for you to start being the hero. Just remember you don't need to go it alone.”

“I'll be sure to visit sooner next time.”

“That would be nice. Night Jimmy, go save the girl.”

“Drugged tea? Right up my alley.” I said before slipping back awake.

I came to on the ground, the world was blurry. I was chained up, to the chains where NotMeina had been chained up. I heard the sound of blades colliding with flesh and metal, a very distinct sound. I lifted my head to see the sight of Lilly barely fighting off Outcast and another demon. This one had six eyes and seven horns, its body was had to describe. Like jumbled words inside of an invisible balloon. It looked female, but beyond that it was hard to describe. The other succubus was still passed out at the foot of the throne. Lilly looked worse than when I had last seen her. I was amazed she was still standing.

>>21262560
I pulled my self to my feet. “Hey you!” Everyone stopped and turned to look at me. “I'm all out of pre-asskicking one-liners so I'm going to have to take yours.”

“How the fuck are you still alive, she ran you through.”

“Been there done that.” I said, melting the chains from the wall. Sword was on the other side of the room along with my bag of tricks. Going to have to get creative. “Ya know. You and me, we in a bind. I'm looking to make a deal.”

“I don't do deals.” Outcast said throwing a bolt of lightning at me. They hadn’t removed my armor so that was harmless. I really need to thank Ruby and the rest of the Orcs properly some time.

“Lilly, handle the wordy bitch. Hes mine.”

She gave a tired nod.

“You really think you can take me with out your holy sword? I'll fest on your flesh. I'll evisor...”

-Thrawk- went the chains colliding with his head. It didn't really do anything, but it did shut him up. Now if only the chain was fifteen feet and not five.

He grabbed the chain and gave it a swing sending me along for the ride. Not my best plan I admit. He let go and I went sailing across the room. I collided against the wall with a wallop, and slide down into a crumpled pile. I barely had time to moan out in pain before a large black fire ball was headed my way. I rolled out of the way, in time by the skin of my teeth. I jumped to my feet only to be caught by a staggering haymaker to the gut. I felt it through the armor, sweet black fucking sabbath.

I then did the only logical thing I could think of. I returned the favor. Everyone always told me the magic gauntlet was pointless. In a way they were right it had been two years since I made it and I still haven’t used it, but to help focus spells. Which I could have done with just about anything.

“Heaven and Hell!” I shouted activating the spell.

>>21262576
Three blades popped out from the gauntlet. They started to whirl at a rapid speed. I brought the chainsaw fist into his chest. It ate through his armor and then his skin. I grabbed a hold of his heart and ripped it out. Crushing it in my hand. Black ichor flood from the heart, pouring over the gauntlet. It ate at the metal a bit, pitting it.

Outcast was standing still with a hole in his chest. “Takes more than that to kill a demon like me, and a lot more to make it stick.”

The hole in his chest started to close. So I fucking punched him with the chain fist again. This time I found a different organ. It was black and crystal like. I pulled it out and crushed it also, sending glitter every where. This got a pained scream from him. He fell to the ground. His body looking like it was melting. His dieing words were, “I'll be back. Your cow will be first,” and then he just sort of dissolved.

Lilly was still fighting with the word bitch. I joined the fight and it was over quickly. Lilly gave me an opening and I just started waling on her with the silver knives. She just sort of went poof, like a disappearing cloud.

>>21262595

“You all right?” Lilly asked, looking worried.”

“Do I look all right? Lilly you look like death warmed over. I'm peachy compared to you. You going to pull through?”

“Yeah, just need to catch my breath and someones elses.”

“Why don't I like the sound of that?”

“Because your sharp.” Lilly walked over to the succubus that was still on the floor. She had recovered a bit. She was now awake it looked like, but she could barley move. Lilly put her knee on the succubus's chest. “Sorry sister but you know the rules. Sleep well.” Lilly said, and then she leaned down and bit the others throat out. She sucked at the wound like a vampire. I watched as the other succubus just withered away.

When it was over and done Lilly looked normal again. She magicked her self up some new clothes and walked back over to me.

“Get your stuff we're leaving.” She said, her voice cold. Never heard it like that before.

TBC

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>>21262605
The typos! They burrrrn ussss.

In other news, last time I checked you were Tera's dogsbody being sent under the sea, so where in your timeline does this story get placed?

Battle in the center of the mind, always a good place to flex your world-ending muscles, shame about that mental disorder...

Something has been bugging me though. Given that a succubus' role is to (mostly) bring about more of the demonic race, by a combination of unstoppable libido with a fertility to match, and the amount of "time" Gearheart spends with Lilly, why aren't there a LOT more little half-demonic Gearhearts running around?

...some form of self-afflicted menopause or contraception?

>>21262689
The typos are are friend, they would never betray usss.

Yep this takes place at 5AA and Mermaid takes place at 6AA.

Which mental disorder? Your going to have to be more specific.

Do I really have to say it? Protection spell. But there are going to be lots someday. But Lilly is hesitant about the whole giving birth to a monster that would carry on her curse thing.

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>>21261961
MY EYES!

>>21262839
Also. I plan on alternating between Mermaid Arc and Hell Arc till I finish both of them. So the next story will be back in 6AA.

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>>21262973
Eh, that's fine.

One of the reasons the mushroom arc is taking so long is that I have to switch and split three different stories together.

So here's the joke:
A paladin, a settler and a veteran walk into the Underdark...

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Lucy has been a bit of a bitch to track down, but we finally managed to do it. The demon limbed guy we brought back before didn’t say anything and ended up biting his own tongue off, but the few scraps of paper we brought back had some clues. The big one was that this circle relied on specific leyline patterns, so it could only be done in certain places. The notes didn’t say what type of pattern was needed, but our guys examined the last site and were able to figure it out. The second clue we got said something about proper star position, so we figured it could only be performed at certain times of the year, though we couldn’t get any specifics. All the rest of the notes were too burnt to make anything out of. We matched the leyline pattern we came up with to the ones that a lot of traders keep on their maps and were able to determine the various possible points that Lucy’s little summoning could happen, at least in this part of the continent, and then started dispatching scouts to each one. We were able to find out which spot she was at since there was only one location that our scouts didn’t return from (I hate delivering death notices to families), so we geared up and headed out with the same basic plan as what had happened last time (and a few more Blades), break the summoning circle, kill off as many followers as we can, and for the love of all that is holy do not get in a full on fight with Lucy.

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>>21263134
Same set up as last time, Kari, Everest, and a couple Blades waited up top for either run aways or our deaths and the rest of us headed down. Luckily there were no traps, but this time Lucy brought more back up. If you’ve never fought a bull demon in a narrow tunnel let me tell you it’s not the most fun thing in the world. About half way down Kari caught up with us saying how she couldn’t just sit back while she could hear us fight, so I ended up having to take her down further with me. Eventually we reached the summoning hall, big circle complete with glowy white crystal dead center again, and I saw just how much more backup Lucy had brought with her; bulls, capras, another pair of golems, lots more of those part demon cultists, more imps than I could count, and to top it all off an asherake. I still want to know where the hell did she get a war level demon spell caster. Didn’t really matter though, she didn’t give us the time to find out. No monologue this time, the moment we entered the hall all hell started breaking loose. The Capras and bulls charged us, along with the golems, the imps swarmed us and made it hard to even see, all the cultists were still on the summoning circle, and the asherake started using force magic to throw Rydia around like practically nothing. Not going to lie, I thought we were going to die, the Blades managed to take out one of the golems with a dwarven blast card, and Ana and I had managed to take down a couple capras and bulls, but Rydia could barely stand up before getting knocked against another wall, there were just too many imps for Kari’s bow to hit anything big, a couple of the Blades ended up dieing, and however many cultists we took out from casting wasn’t enough to stop the spell.

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>>21263150
When the summoning circle activated I decided that if we were going to die, I would go out pissing off Lucy as much as I could (sadly not enough iron in the ground this time, she’s learning). The whole fight she hadn’t moved from the edge of the circle, keeping one eye on me and one on each of my waifus, all moving kind of like that crazy professor from Harry Potter. I was going to need a clear path to her and my bolts wouldn’t have enough power to cut through the sheer number of imps in the way, so I decided to try something else, I talked to her.
“Hey Lucy, tell me, did it hurt?”
“Nothing you could hope to do could ever hurt me”
“I meant when you fell from heaven”
That did it. With a very pissed off scream and what I could swear was a tear in one of her left eyes, she threw two of her fire wheels at me, killing off everything in between us before I just barely managed to dodge in a way that would make the Matrix people proud. From there I made a mad dash towards her, grabbed my grenade, and threw it in her face. It didn’t hurt her but that didn’t matter, all I needed was the distraction it provided to jump over her, and just as something began to claw its way out of the summoning circle, I brought my spear down on that white crystal of hers.

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>>21263165
Then everything was white. I know it sounds clichéd as all hell but it was like one of those TV moments where the screen is nothing but bright white for a little bit. When the light faded the imps were gone, along with all of the demon limbs on the cultists, the capras and bulls were clutching their eyes and swinging around blind, Lucy, the golem and the asherake were all unharmed, though only the golem wasn’t stunned at what happened, and sitting right next to me in the middle of a very large, round scorch mark was an severed left hand wearing a clawed gauntlet. Before it could get its head back in the fight all the way, Rydia dived for the asherake and tried to bite it in half. It managed to catch her and hold her jaws open, but it couldn’t cast and keep from being bitten in half (though it was fireproof, not that Rydia didn’t try). Ana jumped on top of the golem and used her hammer to knock its head off, which made it easy enough for the remaining Blades to set another blast card and blow it up. Lucy was utterly shocked though, all four of her eyes staring at me with a look of hate, anger, sadness, and confusion. It didn’t take long for her to recover though, and with a scream she dived at me. As a reflex I moved to block with my spear and I ended up cutting her. Granted all I got was her hand but the last time we fought she caught silvered adamantine, so I took a quick glance at my spear and saw that the blade wasn’t silvered, and it wasn’t its normal black, but that it was gold.

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>>21263173
Lucy backed off, holding her hand, before giving me a threat.
“I don’t know where it is that you’ve been hiding, but I will find you, and when I do, I will rip your soul from your body and use it as my plaything until the Death of Death”
“Oh? See that would be intimidating if you were, well, intimidating,” remember, never let your opponent know you’re scared, “but as of right now it sounds kind of like you’re trying to seduce me,” I could see the urge to kill rising, “and while I’m flattered and I’ll admit you are very attractive, the whole ‘attempt to kill me and my family’ thing is kind of a deal breaker.”
“I have a far better man than you waiting for me, and I will be with him, even if I have to rip the Light from another angel to do so.”
After that she teleported away, leaving just the asherake in Rydia’s jaws, which died surprisingly fast to my new spear. Then it was just us, an armored left hand, and silence. The silence didn’t last long however, as it was broken by a “Holy crap that was awesome” by someone who is still grounded for following me on a mission where I specifically told her to stay home.

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>>21263186
After patching our wounds, packing up the sulfur in the Big Bag I got from Gearheart, and collecting the bodies of the fallen Blades we headed back to TeeGee. On the way to the castle I got a round of applause passing the Rogue Trader. Apparently my place on the demon kill leader boards skyrocketed, placing me in spot number two. Then it was on to the castle to give my report to the council, followed by me being quarantined. Now I know this probably wasn’t the smartest move on my part, but I had that severed left hand, and it had an obviously magic gauntlet, so I did the only thing that made sense by PC logic, I put the magic gauntlet on. Only problem is that now I can’t take it off, and when mind readers were brought in to verify my story, the voices they heard in my head weren’t mine.

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>>21263203
So now I’m locked up for a while, my waifus and I are all beaten and bloody, including Rydia (broken arm and lots of internal damage, but nothing that will scar), and Lucy is more pissed off then ever. It’s not all bad though; my spear got super charged and from what I’m told (they took and are examining it) seems to be pretty much indestructible (at least the tang, the iron around what used to be adamantine can still be worked), Lucy not knowing where I’ve been means at least something on my house works against fallen angels, and from playing around with this new glove of mine I’ve already figured out that it can shift form a little bit (can pull back the claws and should be able to wear it under my normal gauntlet) and summon energy weapons that I have limited telekinetic control over (though only one thing at a time), and so far I haven’t heard any of the voices the other guys said they heaBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE. I’m kidding. Real interesting part though, was that all of the imps, cultist limbs, and the asherake didn’t leave any sulfur behind. Just what the hell did I stab. Still no word on that left hand either.

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This sucks I hate being grounded. Dad said that he and Mommas were going on an enthusiastic walk through the woods but I know that that means adventure so I followed them and now I can’t go to my fort to make sure all of my stuff is safe so someone could come and take everything cause Filkiati and Ixen are only two people they can’t watch everywhere and I haven’t had enough time to train the waste goats to guard my stuff yet. I shouldn’t even be grounded cause all I did was try to help Dad and Mommas and show off how awesome I am and how I could go with Dad on adventures. I would have flown up through all the imps and no one would have been able to see me since I’m the same color as them and then I would have sneaked up on that weird lady with the messed up wings and dived on her and jammed my magic dagger into the back of her head, but Dad had to go and ruin that by being all super awesome and kicking everyone’s ass. I don’t get it, there’s no way a human could be that awesome. Dad has to be part dragon or a dragon that’s just been in human form so long that he forgot he was a dragon or something. It’d explain why he looks younger than almost all the other knights too. I need to figure this out. I bet Dad’s dragon form is one of the most awesomest things ever and I bet if he saw how good a detective I am he’d let me adventure with him.

and done for now. this latest enthusiastic walk taking place in the 9-11 AA range

>>21263264

I'm so confused. We are jumping around in time a lot. I'm still in like, 5AA...

>>21263291
i've been slowly moving forward in time with each entry, gearheart's the one that is jumping back and forth.

also, gearheart your scale of time is one of the things about your writing that ircs me. you've done far more writing than anyone else, but you keep cramming it into the same handful of years. spread it out more, don't be afraid to write more than ten years in

>>21263380
It all fits. I have it mapped out on a calender. It just so happens that trip to hell, Lillys redemption, and Mermaid all need to take place in the same time frame. After Mermaid its going to jump to mid 7AA then so on. I'v written stuff from the first year to the 8th just happens that 4-6 is busy time.

>>21263380
Also could you make a list of all the things. I know misspellings and typos are one.

>>21262463

Army of Darkness reference?

Eyup.

>>21263640
In my first story My car landed nearby nearly crushing me. And there have been other references also.

>>21263529
typos
everything in a small time frame
champion of a deity (i know this won't change but it still bugs me)
seem to always have exactly what gear/spell you need for any given situation (i know you said you wanted to be like batman, but if you need gravity arrows you have gravity arrows, if you need chainsaw glove you have chainsaw glove, if you need feather fall you have feather fall. make up some kind of general list or something instead of just pulling things you've never mentioned before out of nowhere)

that's all the irks i got for now

>>21263712
The chainsaw fist was briefly mentioned in an older story. It was basically, "Hey I'm going to make me a gantlet with a crystal in its palm and a bunch of gizmos. I also mentioned magic arrows. It was like "Yeah Lilly uses a bunch of different magic arrows. As for the spells, 90% of the time making stuff up on the fly is what he does. Like with feather fall.

"Man I wish I knew a spell like that. Maybe I should try something before I go splat."
(Tries something)
"Yay it worked, Im not dead."

But I see your point I'll make a list latter. Also thats exactly how you batman. Why does he have freezing batarangs? Why the fuck not.

Small time frame is just life. Sometimes it hits you then keeps on hitting you. Like I said after Mermaid things will jump a bit.

Also champion of deity. Things will not stay the same most likely.

Thank you for your irks

Anyone ready for Tavern antics of the captain?

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>>21263956

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>>21263956

In one of the many coastal taverns that dot the ports of the Free Kingdoms a man was having the time of his life. Unfortunately, that time was about to be cut short.

Swaggering down the docks that lead up to the tavern, Captain Morgan Black laughed loudly in the brisk night air, a small cacophony of girlish giggles erupting from the two women at his sides. A bottle of liquor held tightly in his left hand, a small bag of coins in his right, he had plans to celebrate his most recent hunt. He did not get far when he heard a man shouting from inside the tavern.

“WHERE’D MY WIFE GO? … YOU! GET BACK HERE YOU SWINE!”

>>21264121

A quick peck on the lips of each woman was their last taste of Captain Black that night as he gave the girls a wink as he started to run back to his ship. The angry man was closing in, blade in hand and curse in his mouth. Hell bent on killing Black, he charged down the docks, past the girls and yelling obscenities the whole time. Black quickly ran up the gangplank to the Azure Queen, turning swiftly to meet his aggressor. The two men stood eye to eye, briefly, before Black threw the bag of coins at the man, hitting him right in the face. Dumbfounded for a moment, the drunkard was dazed by the fact he had perfectly good coin thrown in his face. Looking back at Black dumbly he got a simple response:

“Here, that’s for you good chum, your wife was no doubt worth at least twice, no, thrice as much as that! What a fine creature she is, and you, a lucky fellow!” Black spoke, the silver of his tongue cutting his speech like heavy cream.

“She does be a foine creature, yerr…” the drunken man slurred out, weighing the coin pouch by bouncing it gently in an outstretched hand.

“See? We can work things out like gentlemen, not savage beasts!” Black responded, laughing and walking towards the man with a large smile on his face

>>21264132

The drunken man dumbly nodded as the sound of boots on the deck and belted weapons perked up his lazy ears. Slowly gazing about as the soldiers began their encirclement of the two men. It took him a moment, but it finally set in that he was in major trouble. Within a flash, a long and sleek rapier cut through the air faster than the eye could comprehend, the tip of its razor like blade digging into the man’s neck.

“I will say this once, and once only friend. You had best know who you are dealing with before you claim death threats and ill will on a man.” Black said, the jovial and lighthearted tone of his voice vanished, instead, a grave and serious voice had replaced it. “Now, I believe you owe me some compensation…” Black finished with a grimace.

The drunken man gazed into the golden tooth of the man before him, his own sad, scared face peering back at him. With a quivering lip he held the coin pouch out gingerly by two fingers, dropping it into the Captains outstretched hand.

“Good, I knew I was dealing with a man of good temperament and wisdom.” Black finished, easing up on the tip of his blade as he tucked the coin pouch into his jacket pocket. Bringing his view back to the drunken man, he furrowed his brow deeper and pushed up harder, sending the man to his tip-toes.

“Never again. You hear me?” Black commanded.