>>21260669
>STATUS REPORT
-----------------------------------------------
**Ogir Place (+Floating, +Golem Limbs, +Steering Wheel)**
-----------------------------------------------
- Population: 47/48 (-1 missing) (4 mutants) (-3 dead)
- Food: Fish(+), Cacti(-ow), Fungi; Fairer Growth (+8/turn)
- Landmarks: Oasis (+Fish), Underground Cave/Quarry (+Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone), Underground [???]s
- Diplomacy: Scaratone [Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]

- Key Items: Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I)
- Arms: Cactus Maces, Crude Iron Armor; Berserkers (4); Ur-Camouflage
- Beasts: Naked Mole Ravagers (Untrained)
- Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Pier, The Anchor, The Staircase

- Tech: Fire, Fish, Agriculture, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, Airships!
- Magic: Geomancy(?)
- ????: I don' get it.
- Justice: Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
--------------------------------------

(Cont.)

File: 1351039431036.png-(72 KB, 400x300, 1350196231082.png)

>>21260677
>Still most of the way through a turn...
>RESCUEXPLORATION!

As a general rule, the average ogre doesn't care too much what happen to other ogres. This isn't due to any callousness or cruel-mindedness- most ogres simply have too much on their minds, like remembering to blink, breathe, and/or not poke their own eyes out, to worry about others.

... however, the ogres of Ogir Place are not your average ogres. These ogres have a boss- and Boss Bawss Fistboss made it very clear that they leave no ogre behind, even if that missing ogre was last spotted near what the Scaratones referred to as the Tower of Decay, aka some sort of bizarro deathtrap tower.

The floating settlement fairly buzzes with activity; ogres filter in and out, hauling armfuls of cacti to craft spare crack-tus maces, cartfuls of ore to forge or repair their crude armor, or handfuls of sand just in case they need camouflage. Metal is hammered into shape, extra food is gathered, and eyes are (thankfully) not being put out by those ogres running around with sticks or stone pickaxes.

Boss Bawss Fistboss stands on the edge of the oasis, glaring out into the desert as he racks his overtaxed brain for inspiration.

"No ogre left behind" IS great and all, but... being smarter than the average ogre has its drawbacks when you're the one who actually has to plan OUT how you're going to go about an expedition like this.

[ ] Take a small group to the Tower of Decay on foot. Recon is sorta key, ain't it?
[ ] Fly the ogres' giant floating oasis golem right up to the Tower. FUCK SUBTLETY
[ ] Write-in! WAT DO

Yay, it's ogre time!

[x]Recon group. We have that camo now, so flying the entire Place is overkill.

File: 1351039902000.gif-(629 KB, 450x253, A red spy is in the base.gif)

>>21260692
>[X] Write in

Right lads, here's what we do.

We take a lot boys and go have them came..camo..hide 'dem selves out in the sand. Den the boss an some lads goes an see's if dere's anyfing inside the tower.

If any big monster things come out, then we all pile in an' Krump 'em good!

>Pic hopefully unrelated

>>21260872
That seems good.

We dun want too many ogres in da tower at da same time, sum'll get lost.

>>21260808
Yes, but while invisible, we are also blind. Nonetheless,
[X] Recon first to see how the tower is defended. Decide on degree of subtlety of the actual assault after we have more info.

>>21260933
They can still hear stuff, so if we say "when you hear those ogre say WE NEED HELP then you go and krump enemies

>two votes for recon
>two votes for the camouflage write-in

Right, combining the two options since they're similar enough! No roll needed... yet.

>>21260992
wait, that makes me wonder. can we have them run around with their eyes closed and scout? maybe we should try this later.

File: 1351040646357.gif-(382 KB, 499x276, Praise the Sun.gif)

>>21261075
Maybe if we put them on a long piece of String.
Or an Ogre congo line where their all holding the shoulders of the Ogre in front of them.

>>21261132
I think the string would be visible, but a congo line would be a good idea. The hard part would be getting them all back home, so they'd need some way to return.

>>21261075
We have to give the ogres tremorsense. GEOMANCY HO!

>>21261218
just get a drum or something and have them follow it back.

>[ ] Fly the ogres' giant floating oasis golem right up to the Tower. FUCK SUBTLETY

Why?

Because OGRES.

captcha: Sacs Invagn
We will SO sac the hell out of their invagn.

File: 1351042043268.jpg-(64 KB, 640x410, Redcoat marching.jpg)

>>21261331
Along with fancy battle hats and some flags, separated into different regiments?

Along with regimental commander 'Sharper' and the Bigger Ogre , but not in charge, 'Harper'?

>>21260692
[ ] Fly the ogres' giant floating oasis golem right up to the Tower. FUCK SUBTLETY

GIVE US BACK THE OTHER OGRE, OR WE HAVE OGIR PLACE TEAR YOU DOWN AND USE YOU AS A WHACKING STICK.

>>21260692
>[X] Take a small group to the Tower of Decay on foot. Recon is sorta key, ain't it?
>[X] Send in Boss Bawss with a few boys, camouflage the rest for backup!

It takes less than half a day for the ogres to finish preparing for what Gubbins won't stop calling "Da Big Desert Romp," but a good sight longer than that for the small group of hand-picked ogres to slog to the Tower of Decay. Ogres being ogres, the hike across the burning sands doesn't bother them much, as long as they remember to drink their damn water when they're thirsty (and Boss Bawss takes great pains to remind them).

It takes about four days for them to come within walking distance of the tower's entrance, but the tower looms close enough for them to make out the details long before that. Once they arrive, the ogres crouch beneath the shadow of a dune, hopefully out of sight of the tower's denizens, and peek up at the strange structure, looking extremely worried.

No one told them that the Tower of Decay was actually a giant ten-stories tall tree.

(Cont.)

[X] Take a small group to the Tower of Decay on foot. Recon is sorta key, ain't it?

Tower might have loots inside and/or dangerous monsters. Gotta walk this one.

As a side comment, great to have this thread back. Long live the ogres.

>>21261729
"... but... these kinda trees don't just GROW inna desert," Gubbins whines for the ninth time that day, squinting up at the tower as if its existence personally offends him. He waves a hand in the thing's general direction. "Look, da bark, it's all wrong!"

Nonplussed, Boss Bawss scratches his head. Truth be told, he shared all of Gubbins' misgivings- the giant tree that the Scaratones called the Tower of Decay sticks out like a sore thumb in the desert, looking like someone just up and transplanted the unfortunate tree from its normal habitat. And not without consequences- the tree is gnarled, withered, shorn of most of its branches, and all but leafless, and its bark is a sickly yellowish-green color instead of its usual dark brown. It's almost as if it's rotting from the inside-out.

... and what makes things worse is that they hadn't been able to find hide, hair, or bones of their missing ogre.

Boss Bawss turns to the other ogres. "A'right, you boys, you do dat camel-flag thing with da sand, an' you wait here 'til I yell out for you. Okay? Okay. An' you-" he points to Gubbins and a handful of his other ogres "- you're comin' with me."

Boss Bawss takes his handpicked team and crests the top of their dune, the sound of ogres pouring sand on themselves fading behind them. The Tower of Decay looms up above them, weathering the desert sun in complete and utter silence; at the base of the trunk, at its roots, is a darkened opening leading into the heart of the tree.

(Cont.)

>>21261739
Gubbins shifts uneasily. "... boss, I think we're bein' watched," he mutters, eying the tower warily.

Boss looks at the shorter ogre. "Magic?"

"Nah, nothin' in my gizzard. Just... you know." Gubbins shrugs. "I got feels."

Boss Bawss grimaces. /Feels/. He was never a touchy-feely kind of ogre, himself.

[ ] Ogres do it from the front. Lead the boys straight into the Tower of Decay!
[ ] Try to look for another way in, maybe? Dat front door, it's too easy.
[ ] Search around in a broader area for clues regardin' dat missing ogre. Priorities!
[ ] Sit, wait, watch. IF there's really somethin' in there, maybe it'll come out 'cause we're sittin' on da front lawn.
[ ] Write-in!

>>21261749
>[X] Search around in a broader area for clues regardin' dat missing ogre. Priorities!

I don't want us getting cut off from the other ogres yet.

File: 1351043057764.png-(252 KB, 579x329, 1350936484295.png)

Rolled 82

>>21261749
>[X] Search for clues.

Get some of your lads to have a search around the area, WHILE STAYING IN SIGHT OF THE OTEHR OGRES, and see what they can find.

Also, keep Boss Bawss and Gubbins near the front and ready for a fight if anything happens.

Hmmm, I wonder, would the might 'God of Earthquakes' know anything about this tree?

>>21261816
>>21261811
FIND OUR BOY

>>21261749
[X] Search around in a broader area for clues regardin' dat missing ogre. Priorities!

Search for clue first. Den we go inside da tree.

>>21261749
>[x] Make some boys and BAWS stay camouflaged in front of the tree, the other guys and gubbins will search for the missing ogre!

>[ ] Ogres do it from the front. Lead the boys straight into the Tower of Decay!

File: 1351043758395.png-(60 KB, 165x165, STUPID LUCKY TIME.png)

>[X] Search around in a broader area for clues regardin' dat missing ogre. Priorities!

Okay, you guys know what time it is-

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 55

>>21262025
rollllinnn

File: 1351043833903.gif-(961 KB, 500x281, 1350715666996.gif)

Rolled 49

>>21262025
LETS DO IT!

Rolled 1

>>21262025
OGRE SHOWTIME

Rolled 21

>>21262025
FOR OGRE!

>>21262036
Just another on orge civ

>>21262056
>>21262036
AAAWWWWW YEEEEAAAAHHHHH
THERE ARE NO BREAKS ON THE OGRE-TRAIN!

File: 1351043939665.jpg-(1 KB, 125x81, 1350716466829s.jpg)

Rolled 18

>>21262036
>>21262056

Ogres.
Fucking Ogres.

Rolled 95

>>21262025
What is that image, I get something that doesn't look like it when I click on it.

File: 1351044039723.gif-(1.92 MB, 326x244, kommentár nélkül.gif)

>>21262056
>>21262036
>Lucky stupid
>Double time

>[X] Search around in a broader area for clues regardin' dat missing ogre. Priorities!

File: 1351044209503.jpg-(74 KB, 777x743, 1320755807841.jpg)

>>21262036
>first roll of the quest
>just looking around

TIME TO FIND ALL THE THINGS

also i have no idea what happened to my thumbnail there

>>21262036
>>21262056
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

*cough*

Let's do this.

>>21262104
Very good rolls:
90-100, 1, 11, 22,..., 88, = 20/100 or about 1 in five rolls. About half of those considered "lucky"
plus some combinations (anything rolled twice etc)

With more than a fifth of all rolls very good and maybe a dozen rolls for every action of course there is a ridiculous number of good rolls. I mean it is fun and all but I simply cannot understand your apparant suprise or amazement at the number of good rolls.

>>21262359
Well, Ogres ARE supposedly supposed to be stupid lucky and lucky stupid.
So it fits.

File: 1351045406627.gif-(676 KB, 800x800, I CAME RAINBOWS.gif)

>>21262359
It's not surprise. Nor amazement.
It's happiness, happiness at our dear ogres.

>>21261749
>[X] Search around a broa-
>55 - STUPID LUCKY

Reaching a decision, Boss Bawss thumps a fist into the palm of his hand. The other ogres quickly huddle up, watching their boss formulate one of his mysterious, trademark things he calls 'a plan.' "A'right, here's wot we're gonna do- we gotta look for dat missing boy of ours, right? Now, we don't know if he's actually there or not, but I figure it'll be worth a shot. You boys wit' me?"

The ogres nod, most of them looking determined. One or two near the back are actually looking somewhat confused, however, as they're the only ones to notice that the earth beneath their feet is shaking a little.

"Okay, so-" Boss nods at the shorter ogre. "Gubbins, you are comin' wit' me. You, you, an'- " He pauses, nearly losing his footing. "Oi, wot's da big-"

(Cont.)

File: 1351046347291.png-(6 KB, 260x164, tyrantworm.png)

>>21262696
The sand around the ogres explodes outward as a black serpentine shape, one many times taller than an ogre, suddenly erupts from the ground. The giant worm hisses balefully, twisting sinuously into the sky as it tries to throw off the crazy little thing hanging off of its head by thin leather straps.

"HI-HO, SILVER!" the missing ogre whoops, kicking his heels into the worm's sides. The beast thrashes to the side, narrowly avoiding crushing Boss Bawss, before finally throwing off its rider. In a matter moments, the titanic worm burrows back beneath the earth, vanishing as if it had never been-

- leaving the missing ogre, who's hurtling head over heels through the air. He quickly puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles shrilly, and the largest vulture anyone's ever seen dives in from out of the sun's light, catching the ogre just before he hits the ground and setting him down none-too-gently.

(Cont.)

>>21262718
As the vulture takes off again, disappearing into the distance, the missing ogre (who's clad in the furs and skins of some unidentifiable creatures) picks himself back up and dusts himself off, chuckling in good humor. "Yeah, dat one's warmin' up to me. He'll TOTALLY let me ride 'im again, just you see..."

The missing ogre trails off and looks around, suddenly and belatedly aware of the other ogres staring at him like he'd grown another head. "Er. Hi, boss?" he mutters sheepishly, giving Boss Bawss a wave.

Boss spits out sand and waves back distractedly. "... guess we found our missin' boy," he mutters. "Wot WAS all dat?"

The formerly-missing ogre grins. "Well, ya see, it's a really long story, but I got carried away by dis real big monster bird, right? An' there's a lotta baby birds in da nest, so I thought I was gonna be a goner, right? But then, I says to myself, no way am I gonna be food, I'll show dem animals who's boss, an'... uh..."

He shrugs helplessly. "I showed da animals who is da boss, an' stuff happened."

"Right," Boss replies dryly. "Stuff."

>The missing ogre has been found! He has also gained a new power, and will need to be named eventually.
>The ogres have unlocked the [Beastmaster] vocation! Fully unlocking a domesticated beast's potential uses will now take only one turn.

(Cont.)

>>21262718
Beast-tamer ogre?

>>21262741
Apparently our racial trait is domestication.

>>21262718
OGRE BEASTMASTER!?

File: 1351046544689.jpg-(35 KB, 649x556, IT BEGINS.jpg)

>>21262741
Ohhhh
I wonder where he found all these beasties

>>21262759
our racial traits are dumb luck and being strong.

File: 1351046596173.png-(6 KB, 117x129, 1343396681247.png)

>>21262741
This keeps getting better and better!

File: 1351046777255.jpg-(9 KB, 252x174, beastieboys.jpg)

Rolled 14

>>21262741
BEASTIEBOY

>>21262741
As the formerly-missing ogre tucks into the ogres' food supplies, eating with the speed of the truly famished (and largely ignoring the jubilant ogres' friendly backslaps), Boss Bawss sits on the dune, staring thoughtfully up at the Tower of Decay.

He's quickly joined by Gubbins, who continues glaring at the structure as if it had personally insulted his mother. After a moment, the shorter ogre flips the tower the bird.

Boss Bawss gives him a questioning look.

"Wotever's in there, it's still watchin'," Gubbins replies darkly.

Boss grimaces again, looking back to the Tower of Decay. Well, their mission IS accomplished, but...

[ ] Mission accomplished, it's just a tree, Gubbins is wacko, let's just go home. [End Turn]
[ ] Try and explore the Tower. We're prepared, we're totally armed, and this thing's too close to home!
[ ] Write-in!

>>21262858
[X] Try and explore the Tower. We're prepared, we're totally armed, and this thing's too close to home!

But start by having Beastmaster Ogre do a flyover of it if possible. It'll get us some more info.

>>21262858
I think we should come back and smash the island into it. But that's just my opinion

>>21262858
Write-in: Yell really loudly at what whatever is in the tower to come down and talk.

[X]Try and explore the Tower. We're prepared, we're totally armed, and this thing's too close to home!

File: 1351047131929.jpg-(13 KB, 300x225, cover02.jpg)

>>21262883
What this guy said.

If that don't work, then do this one
>>21262875

>>21262883
I'll vote for this, even if I don't think it'll lead to a very good result. But damnit, we're diplomancy ogres and we're gonna try peace first. Then we'll krump em all.

Right, we're diplomancing whoever's there!

No roll this time- writing the post now.

>>21262883
Fourth'd. I feel like people are voting too non-ogrishly. Disguise? What are you all, a buncha elves? We yell an' smash.

File: 1351047697620.jpg-(210 KB, 984x629, 1350685482643.jpg)

Rolled 85

>>21262999
But we're so good at it...

>>21262858
Too close to home? Fuck it, we're taking this tree. Ripping it out of the ground and taking it. Taking it home. Daddy needs a new pair of... Trees? I'm not good at this stuff.

>>21263081
Lets give our golem home a club, shall we?

>>21263154
mabeh we found out what inside first?

>>21263179
Of course. I meant that we clear it out and if at all possible uproot and loot that sumbitch.

Rolled 33

No roll? No roll at all? At you crazy?

Rolled 538

>>21263236
>33
AHAHAHAHA

>>21263236
It's pretty obvious we would succeed

>>21263236
This is why he didn't call for a roll. Blorp is starting to use his pain at our rolls to grant him the ability to see future rolls.

This sadly only gives him more pain.

>>21263263
I dunno, maybe if we rolled a 1 all the ogres would lose their voices or something.

File: 1351048587089.gif-(1.87 MB, 265x303, Average Ogre roll.gif)

Rolled 59

>>21263236
Well you obviously just can't trust Ogres when it comes to this stuff.

Rolled 39

>>21263278

1's are good in this quest. Lucky Stupid, I believe.

>>21263278
A 1 is considered lucky. There is near to no way to fail in this quest. There is only a question of how ludicrous the success is.

>>21263311
Oh yeah. Well, I guess we really couldn't fail that bad.

>>21263349
>>21263343
They do happen but its rare.

>>21263375
Failure I mean

>>21263349
Well, we could roll a two. That is as bad as we can get.

Rolled 21

>>21263476
Worst roll possible is a 12.

Rolled 75

>>21263476
>yell at the tree
>tree falls on us

File: 1351049315813.gif-(1.11 MB, 240x320, 1350630084968.gif)

Rolled 48

>>21263476
the worst we can generally do is round about a 50.
Not stupidly lucky but not luckily stupid.

>>21263476
1-10 are good

>>21263507
Ah. Thought it was two, been a while since I've seen the chart.

I've waiting all week for dis boss! Also we need a 1d4chan article.

>>21262858
>[X] DIPLOMANCE

"Dey're watchin' us, huh?" Boss growls darkly. "Let's see how much dey'll watch us when we talk da hell outta dem!"

Gubbins opens his mouth. Then he closes it. "... wot?"

"Dat sounded better in my head," Boss Bawss mutters, a mite defensively. The large ogre stands up as straight as he can, takes a deep breath, and cups his hands around his mouth.

"OI! IS THERE ANYONE LIVIN' IN DA TREE?" Boss Bawss roars, his voice carrying even over the desert winds. "IF NOT, WE'RE GONNA GO IN AN' SEE WOT DERE IS TO FIND, AN' MAYBE TAKE SOME OF IT!"

The ogres stop talking amongst themselves and watch the Tower of Decay expectantly. The silence stretches on for a good few minutes.

"No," a high-pitched voice eventually replies. "There is no one here." There's another pause as no one takes a moment to confer with another no one. "There is also nothing here to take. Go home."

"Awww, shucks." Almost to a man, the ogres stand up to leave, muttering amongst themselves in disappointment. "An' I thought we was gonna have an adventure!" an ogre standing in the back whines.

(Cont.)

>>21263614
Boss Bawss Fistboss stands unmoving, glaring up at the Tower of Decay. "PLAYING DAT DIRTY TRICK WON'T WORK ON US!" he bellows, causing some of the ogres behind him to drop their things in complete and utter shock. He ignores the surprised whispering, opening his mouth to continue. "CAN YOU COME DOWN FOR LIKE A MINUTE? WE WANT TO DIPLOMA- DIPOLOMA- DIMAPLO-"

Boss Bawss Fistboss pauses.

"... TALK. WE WANNA TALK."

The next silence stretches on for a few more minutes.

"... fine," the mystery voice eventually replies, in a tone so cold that the desert heat actually seems to abate for a few moments. "I will come down. You will meet me in the middle. Be warned that if you so much as THINK about moving on Daphnaia, we will riddle you with so many holes that you will not even have time to scream. Understood?"

Daphnaia, huh? ... Boss Bawss shrugs. "SOUNDS GOOD."

(Cont.)

File: 1351049814420.png-(288 KB, 500x369, I HAVE SEEN MY HAT.png)

>>21263614
Awwww
I thought we were going to find som-

WAIT A MINUTE

File: 1351049833416.jpg-(150 KB, 850x1346, Guardian of Daphnaia.jpg)

>>21263621
The ogres are kept waiting for a good half hour, but eventually, one lone figure emerges from the decaying tree. Boss Bawss blinks in surprise. Beneath the looming 'Tower of Decay', the individual seems positively tiny and willowy; in fact, it's barely half as tall as an ogre.

After a moment of watching the figure walk, Boss Bawss's surprise turns to suspicion, flickers to worry, and finally settles on exasperation. Despite being heavily clothed and loaded down by some sort of metal implement lashed to its back, the figure is incredibly graceful as it walks across the desert sands, with all the haughtiness of some sort of royalty marching out to meet the unwashed masses...

... and Boss Bawss's suspicion is confirmed when the figure sheds its hood, revealing a feminine face and pointed ears. Somehow, for some incredible reason, there are ELVES in this forsaken desert, like a gazillion miles from where they really ought to stay.

"Ogres," the female elf mutters darkly, eying Boss Bawss with much the same hostility. "Out in the middle of fuck-all nowhere, and it had to be /ogres/. How did you even- okay, no, I have suddenly stopped caring."

She sighs, her racial haughtiness somehow tempered, not magnified, by the exasperation and weariness evident all over her face. "Talking ogres is a new one, though. What is it that you want?"

[ ] ... /elves/? What the hell are you doing out here? Why are you here?
[ ] You got a few hours to ship out, we're totally taking your tree or we're krumping you.
[ ] Say nothing. Krump the elf, krump the elves, and take the tree.
[ ] Write-in!

File: 1351049966895.jpg-(427 KB, 1300x847, 1350597457427.jpg)

>>21263637
>[X] Elves?

What the hell are Elves doing out here?
Wait
I BET WE COULD SELL HATS TO THEM

File: 1351049974874.gif-(1.15 MB, 320x240, 1307076291125.gif)

>>21263637
... also, yes, the picture is an extraordinarily accurate representation of the mysterious and strange metal implement lashed to her back.

>>21263637
[x] ... /elves/? What the hell are you doing out here? Why are you here? Why is this called the tower of decay, you a corpus or somethin'?

>>21263660
Motherfucker has a gun? Dear lady luck.

>>21263637

[x] ... /elves/? What the hell are you doing out here? Why are you here?

>>21263637
what are you doin' out here?

[X] ... /elves/? What the hell are you doing out here? Why are you here?
[X]Tee lokin wery dry need some water? We has magic stones.

>>21263637
"Aren't ya just so adorable?

Well we heard dere was dis Tower of Decay ova here and one of us boys wuz missin so we came ova here. We found da guy who wuz missin.

Is Daphnaia da tree you gots here? It's a real nice tree, but it sure look dry. How'd you get dis tree ova here? It ain't like da ova trees round here.

You look tired, would you like a cracktus? dey iz real good for you."

Write in

Give them a confused but friendly introduction and greeting

>>21263637
Tell them we have trees at the Ogir Plase in which they can live. Or.. around. But we're taking their tree - Ogir Plase needs a krumping stick, and their tree is the first step to a proper cractus stick.

File: 1351050427568.jpg-(820 KB, 2007x1614, not enuff dakka.jpg)

>>21263660
dakka? we needz it!!

>>21263711
Seconding. Tell them we were just looking for our missing boy.

>>21263741
There is nothing that could possibly go wrong with this course of action.

>>21263741
how bout no

>>21263741
Not this. Don't start by threatening to take their tree. That's like taking an ogre's hat which is just plain wrong.

File: 1351050891356.png-(47 KB, 165x165, STUPID LUCKY TIME 2.png)

Combining asking and telling them that we were just looking for our missing boy!

... also, just a quick check because it's ogres:

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 58

>>21263868
Yes.

Rolled 66

>>21263868

File: 1351050956784.jpg-(68 KB, 500x487, 1350774717667.jpg)

Rolled 36

>>21263868
Lucky stupid time!

Rolled 40

>>21263868
You know it.

Rolled 30

>>21263868
Nothing wrong will go!

>>21263886
Dang.

Ah well, could of been worse.

I think.

Rolled 10

>>21263868

Rolled 46

Here we go

>>21263893
oh boy, here we go again

>>21263909
Much, much worse. Trust me on this.

>>21263893
I like this

>>21263929
So you're saying we could have successfully obtained the colossal cractus stick, and then had it jammed sideways up Bawss Bawss' arse.

>>21263929
We still divine intervention available
Right?

>>21263983
>>21263948
Not QUITE that bad, but yes. We also still have the Divine Intervention available! I just keep forgetting to put it in the Status Report.

>>21263929
Since you're answering us, what is the worst possible roll, or is that case dependent?

>>21264047
Generally case dependent, but- excluding doubles- anything between 10-40 ("Not So Good") is unquestionably bad, while 40-60 ("Adequate") might not be enough to get the best result, which is bad for tough rolls.

... and I tend to think of 1, Lucky Stupid, as "amazingly good but possibly not at all helpful."

>>21264088
I'm guessing 2-9 is similar to 1, but to a lesser degree then?

>>21264125
its "So Stupid, Its Brilliant"

>>21264125
Basically! More "amazingly good," less "not at all helpful," yeah.

>>21264162
So instead of "Yes, I love you, 1, I want to make love to you" we should be hoping for her hot slutty sister 9?

>>21263637
>>21263637
>[X] ELVES, WOT AN' WHY: 58 - Adequate!

Boss Bawss manages to swallow his distaste. He never liked elves- they only ever gave ogres arrows or pellets or big metal balls, and only when ogres are never looking. And that's when elves DEIGN to remember that ogres actually exist! "Well, we was lookin' for our missin' boy, see, an'-"

"We haven't seen any ogres," the elf instantly deadpans. "Hell, this is the first time I've ever heard of an ogre giving half a rat's ass about another ogre, really."

"... no, actually, we found 'im, you know, an'-"

"Really? Good for you. Would you like us to give you a medal?" she retorts instantly, still in that same deadpan voice. "Or are you done wasting our time?"

Boss Bawss pauses, taking a moment to recalibrate his mental footing and gently nudge it away from 'krump' back to 'diplomance.' "We was just wonderin'," he growls, "wot a buncha elves was doin' out inna middle of da desert, sittin' in a big Tower of Decay, an' scarin' da beetle-men wit' death from above."

(Cont.)

>>21264431
The elf opens her mouth to deliver another scathing report, but- she seems to think better of it, biting it back with a visible effort. "... Daphnaia," she replies quietly, shifting a bit to resettle the load on her back. "Not the 'Tower of Decay.' That's just what those bug monsters call it. We've done nothing but protect our land from the predations of others."

Boss Bawss furrows his brow.

"... from attacking us, I mean," the elf adds wearily. "If it will make you leave any faster, Daphnaia houses a colony of elves, and we're eking out a foothold in this hostile continent for the glory of the Elven Coalition." She sing-songs it, as if repeating the phrase from rote memory. "We WILL be authorized in the name of all elvenkind to end your miserable lives if you make a move on us.

"Though, fuck..." The elf pauses to fish out a small, rolled-up paper stick. She sticks one end in her mouth, lights the other end, and takes a long drag before blowing out smoke. Gracefully, of course, and not in Boss Bawss's face. "... you ARE welcome to what's left of the tree, when the insects are picking at what's left of our bones." She pauses. "If the desert doesn't kill you before it kills us, of course."

Boss Bawss edges away from the smoke cloud when the desert wind blows it back towards his face. Really? A whole group of elves left out in the desert to die? Is she telling the whole truth?

... the bigger question is, of course, does Boss Bawss even care?

[ ] Yeah, sure, we'll wait 'til you're all dead an' gone.
[ ] Nah. Why wait? Krump 'em all!
[ ] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?
[ ] We don't care! Elves is elves, let's leave 'em alone.
[ ] Write-in!

>>21264446
Press her harder. We came to diplomacize, we shall diplomacize fully. Besides, knowin' stuff works for us.
So does krumpin', but, I mean, we can always do that in a bit.

[X] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?

>>21264446
>[x] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?

>>21264446
>[X] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?

Diplomance til we die. Plus, I bet it's something we'll have to deal with soon anyway. Might as well find out now rather than when it attacks us.

>>21264446
>[ ] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?
Offer her the most life saving thing we have: hats.
Also food, water, the aid of demigods and all that other useless stuff we have so much of. But mostly hats.

>>21264446
"Nah, wez not gonna die in dis desert. We're ogres, we're not gud at dyin.

Look lady, meybe we don't like elves much but dat don't mean we gonna let youz die ifn dere's sumtin we can do bout it.

Why iz da desert gonna kill you? How da zog did you and ur tree Daphnaia end up here? Do ya want a hat or a cracktus?"

Rolled 26

>>21264446
[x] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?

>>21264446
>[X] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?
>write in

Us Ogers live in long time, waiting is harder than krumping tho. How you dieing soon? whut you got for us?

>>21264446
[x] Press her harder. Why're you all gonna die out here?

"We's might be able to help you, if you don't got a stick so far up your bum that its coming out your pointy ears, ya git.

File: 1351053485852.png-(429 KB, 800x588, what the fuck AM?.png)

Rolled 46

>>21264446
>[X] Stupid Elves

Listen up you stupid bunch of pansy gits.
You ouldn't even sort your own shit out, let alone for a civilization thats not based around being dicks to each other.

Here's an idea.
Why don't you stop being gigantic tossers, get off your high fucking horse, and act like a decent person for once.

Lady Luck wept. Even we managed to form a fucking civilization without any major wars, build a centre of society and learn magic without killing each other, which is more than your civilization ever did without you lot back staying each other.

Hell, we killed a giant fucking dragon lich, made friends with a race of hostile bug people, and summoned a fucking god.

What have you done, killed each other and planted a tree out in the middle of a desert?

Go fuck yourselves. The desert will deal with you soon enough, and you'll be sand on the winds before anyone every remembers you.

Press her harder.

I like how, as our civilization grows (slowly, and in typical ogre fashion), we're actually starting to become more... civilized. At least when we deal with people.

File: 1351053583960.gif-(73 KB, 256x192, phoenix-handsondesk(b).gif)

>>21264446
Press her!

>>21264539
Way I see it, Ogres are generally nice guys until you push them to far.

Lets help them. If it one thing I love its surprising and proving elves wrong! We'll show what kind of ogres we are! Maybe they'll ally with us and maybe even like us.

>>21264539
Only because the other ogres seem to let Boss Bawss be their spokesperson.

Trust me, if any one of the other ogres had spoken up, bullets would probably already be flying.

>>21264539
Ogres are stupid brutes, but that doesn't mean they're aren't good natured. They only krump each other because ogres don't mind a good krumping.

>>21264534
seconded

>>21264582
Although if Gubbins was busy speaking, it'd be mostly because he wanted to see if he could Geomance them away.

File: 1351053883167.png-(43 KB, 165x165, STUPID LUCKY TIME 3.png)

Alright, looks like the majority vote is PRESS HER, so:

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Some number of rolls in this conversation, since... well, elves and ogres.

>>21264589
That and Bawss is smart.

Rolled 94

>>21264612
Oh god I'm gonna roll a 12

Rolled 28

>>21264612
Dice dont fail me now!

Rolled 46

Rolling

>>21264620
Oh my yes.

>>21264620

Lady Luck, you are a strange and glorious woman.

>>21264620
No you're not.

>>21264617
Especially for an ogre. He's also remarkably well spoken, for an ogre.

File: 1351054054348.gif-(2.93 MB, 210x120, Blorp After We Roll A 1:100.gif)

Rolled 46

>>21264612
I'm afraid for this roll, because I think my luck has run out.

But hey, fuck those Elvish gits right in the cake hole!

>>21264620
It so beautiful.
DAT ROLL

Rolled 8

Time to test my luck(which will in all likely hood be horrible)

Rolled 71

>>21264620
Oh yes

>>21264641
>>21264628
Its not as bad you think.

BEHOLD! RUIN AND WRATH!

>>21264620
Diplo
fucking
mancing

We in this.

File: 1351054178752.png-(261 KB, 319x422, SSSSSSHHHIIIGGGGGYYYYY DD(...).png)

Rolled 94

>>21264628
>>21264641
>>21264620

Sorcery!

Fuck Elves!

Rolled 47

>>21264641
Fuck you and your elf hate. If Grot Quest taught me anything, its that you solve anything with DIPLOMACY

>>21264664

Oh hey, same as the first roll!

...I BLAME ELF WIZARDS

>>21264620
>>21264664
Oh dear. I think we just got even stupid luckier.

File: 1351054332832.png-(30 KB, 87x123, 1321579475463.png)

>>21264620
>>21264664
No, Ogre Magi

I believe the elves have fucked /you/

... but seriously, why does Lady Luck like elves so much

File: 1351054434565.gif-(570 KB, 360x246, 1340081012346.gif)

>>21264700
Blorp... We got... D-double duplicate rolls... In one action. FUCKING OGRES, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!

>>21264700
It's the Tsundere opportunities... Oh God the Ogres/Desert elves is the prefect storm of Tsun.

File: 1351054523920.jpg-(624 KB, 3110x2595, 1350626589667.jpg)

>>21264700
Because we stole all her luck previously, and now she's angry with us?

>>21264685
I hate Elves, the arrogant pricks.

>>21264720
Dear lord, Lady Luck is a shipper.

>>21264700
Because Lady Luck wants them and the Ogres to be friends.

She wants every ogre to have a shoulder elf to deal with small fiddly tasks that need small hands and also to shoot things from atop the ogre. She wants the ogres to have to learn that Elves are really fragile and what we think is a nice pat on the back is what they think is a krumpin.

Lady Luck wants them to cast aside their old prejudices and engage in jolly cooperation.

Wait isn't 94 good?

>>21264727
Or maybe she is trying to teach them a lesson. Or she is just trolling the elves patron deity.

File: 1351054707145.png-(63 KB, 600x601, 1339814063621.png)

>>21264740
>cute little elves shooting their sniper rifles from the shoulders of Ogres

File: 1351054778851.gif-(578 KB, 176x197, Hnnnng.gif)

>>21264752
>while riding naked mole ravagers two sizes too small for them

>>21264752
Combine this with our ogre airdrops from before. Does the camoflague work for the elves too? Invisible ogre airdrops with shoulder turrets? Oh god oh god oh god yes.

>>21264727
Well look at what we all ready have: the bug queen is the rich girl with a heart of gold, us teaming animals so easily means we have animal magnetism, we even have a proto giant robot to save the day with.

>>21264752
>>21264762

>Not having cute little bug men and tiny elves fighting over who gets top seat on the Ogre's head
>2012

IShiggyDiggy

>>21264720
What about the Beetle Queen?

She seems interested in Bawss

>>21264748
Lady Luck is probably trying to keep a straight face and not laugh her ass off as the Elf god is frothing at the mouth looking down on this scene.

>>21264765
Aw fuck, we accidentally into a harem anime.

Shit guys, sorry about that, I really expected to roll a 12.

>>21264765
And a cute mascot demigod.

So Lady Luck is a harem anime and giant robot fan.

>>21264771
>not have a beetleman hat AND a shoulder elf

>>21264771
But then the ogre has a brilliant idea. Make a hat with enough structural support that both can have a seat.

>>21264787
Only one shoulder elf? Real Ogres have one for each shoulder.

>>21264790
Brilliant!

File: 1351055143739.jpg-(31 KB, 481x600, 1350987223027.jpg)

>>21264775
>>21264778

God I hope not.
Its like taking something awesome like ThunderCats or Power Rangers and adding something really unfunny, like serious romance, to a show about idiots flying around a giant robot ship and hitting things with sticks. Then again, whatever Lady Luck wants I suppose.

>>21264805
But then that doesn't conclude whose allowed to ride on the hat. You'd need a third race of cute tiny things to balance it all out.

>>21264823
Nah, you get one elf for each shoulder and a beetleman on the hat.

Or you just make a big enough hat that they can all fit.

>>21264823
Relax, it was just a joke. I highly doubt there will be a heart wrenching and tragic love triangle between Bawss, Queeny, and Elfbitch.

>>21264880
maybe a threesome. With Bawss having no fucking clue whats going on.

>>21264866
So you effectively have Ogre Sombreros, filled with a variety of cute yet surprisingly vicious little men?

>>21264880
same, it just that someone has to stand up for the entire 'Krump the Elves' option, like everything else we encounter

>>21264880
Of course it's going to be a light hearted comedy.

>>21264880
True. Bawss and the Queen is my OTP. They're perfect for each other. Elfbitch might go Yandere for Bawss but he'll just shrug off and not notice her attempts at violence.

>>21264922
But Ogre and Bug It's forbidden love.

I wonder if there are sand trolls in the desert.

File: 1351055803882.jpg-(14 KB, 400x260, DOTA-2-GENERAL415.jpg)

>>21264880
>>21264922
>>21264905


God dammit people, now I imaging some kind of benny hill scene with the Boss Bawss being chased around by an angry Elf and a giant Bug queen, as appropriate music plays in the background.

Personally, I just can't wait until the elves find out we have a floating island golem. It's reminding me of an episode of the Simpsons, the one with Frank Grimes.

>>21265001
I can't wait till they realize we have magic, a demigod, and aquafiers.

>>21265001
Oh, man, I can totally see that. That reaction will be awesome. Like, Cyborg vs. Loader-Robot-from-Alien awesome. Unfortunately, I won't be seeing it tonight. Need sleep.

Damn it where's my update? I want more ogres!

>>21264446
>[X] Press her harder!: 94 - STUPIDLY SUCCESSFUL

"'If the desert doesn't kill you before it kills us'...?" Boss Bawss repeats thoughtfully- too thoughtfully. Some harmonic in his voice causes the other ogres to stop talking amongst themselves and look up in alarm, a few of the sharper ones taking some cautious steps back.

The elf takes a sharp drag from her cigarette, blissfully unaware of all of this. "Of course. If we fucked up this badly with all of the resources at our disposal, what chance do you think you have?"

Boss Bawss's eyebrow twitches. Ogres don't have nearly as many words as other races to describe social niceties, pitfalls, and subtle insults, but Boss Bawss... he knows a put-down when he hears one. And it's not even that it WAS an insult- the elf didn't even MEAN it as an insult. She just casually trotted it out, like it was some incontrovertible fact of reality.

Perhaps some weeks ago, Boss Bawss would have let it slide. Or perhaps he wouldn't have cared enough to dispute it. But... here and now, Boss Bawss finds that, for the first time in his life, he has something to take pride in: the ogres of Ogir Place. His boys. And she just insulted them.

As it turns out, Boss Bawss finds that he DOES care about what she's saying. In fact, he cares so much that he's /begun to see red./

(Cont.)

>>21265126
"... a'right. Open up those pointy ears of yours an' listen up," Boss Bawss Fistboss rumbles, ignoring the elf's sharp, alarmed glance at his tone. "We wandered here, with nothin' in our hands, an' nothin' in our heads. We found water, an' food, an' stacked rocks 'til we made houses."

Boss Bawss takes a step closer to the elf, jabbing at her with a meaty finger, ignoring the elf's mildly terrified stare and the sound of dozens of metal weapons cocking at once. "We made hats, an' we faced off against da beetle-men when they were angry, an' we made 'em our friends! We took our brainy-meats an' made magic! We punched everything else dat tried to kill us, an' dey was rightfully an' leftfully and upfully an' downfully KRUMPED, 'cause they was facin' ogres, an' we found 'em lacking! We came back for da one guy who went missin', 'cause we leave no ogre behind!"

Boss pauses, hunching forward to bring his narrowed, mud-brown glare level with the elf's widened orange eyes. "An' now you muck up wot tree you was supposed to plant in da middle of da desert, an' you say you're gonna die, an' you still say dat you're better than us, like you did for all these years an' years?" he growls, low and dangerous.

The elf's mouth works for a moment, before her brain rolls a critical fumble. "But... you're /ogres/-"

(Cont.)

>>21265134
"DING DING DING, YA WON A PRIZE, AN' DAT PRIZE IS ME TELLIN' YOU DAT WE ARE DA OGRES!" Boss Bawss roars down at the shocked elf. "We are da ogres of Ogir Place! An' if you think you can tell us dat you are gonna die 'cause of huge fuckups, an' dat you are still better than us, then let me tell you somethin'..."

The large ogre takes a deep breath, prepared to unleash the finishing blow on this verbal salvo- and pauses, belatedly realizing that he's gone way off-track. Boss Bawss deflates and scratches his head, giving the elf a markedly mellower glance. "... so, uh, why d'you say you was gonna die again?"

The elf stares up at the much taller ogre, her cigarette dangling forgotten on her lips. A few moments of awkward silence passes, and then the moments stretch into minutes.

Gubbins edges closer, waving a hand in front of the elf's face, before turning to face the larger ogre. "... I fink she fainted standin' up, boss," he whispers, sotto voice.

Boss Bawss rolls his eyes before sitting cross-legged on the sand to wait for her to regain consciousness. /Elves/.

(Cont. in 15-20 minutes! Apologies for posting so slowly tonight.)

File: 1351056918989.jpg-(525 KB, 3000x2000, Bawss 2 copy.jpg)

>Not done. Need sleep. Will finish later.

Tablet is back. That is all.

File: 1351056953600.png-(20 KB, 334x370, 1350920372550.png)

>>21265126
>>21265134
>>21265152

I love you Blorp, never let me tell you otherwise.
Mainly because that was fucking awesome.

File: 1351057092246.jpg-(53 KB, 171x297, Yes yes jesus yes.jpg)

>>21265173

>>21265134
I think the elf fainted from pure awesome overload.

>>21265173
That sure is a nice hat.

>>21265152
I love ogres.

We should probably give her a free cractus, she ought to be hungry after getting yelled at like that.

It's going to be hilarious to see their faces when they find we have a magic floating oasis.

>>21265126
>>21265134
>>21265152
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8A4CoKiAsc

Holy balls! Don't apologize for slow posting, OP! With writing that great, take all the time you need. Hell, I've been kind of down tonight, but I actually found myself getting inspired and pumped up in real life when I read that speech.

>>21265152
>>21265152
YOUZ DA BEST AROUND
NUFFINS GONNA KEEP YA DOWN
CAUSE YOUZ DA. BEST. AROOOOUND

File: 1351057640717.jpg-(60 KB, 500x422, 1321934079480.jpg)

>>21265173
... that sure is one beautiful hat.

THANK YOU, MYSTERIOUS DRAWFAG

>>21265152
bump for awesomeness and to make everyone check their tab for an update.

inb4 imanasshole

>>21265152
A few minutes later, the elf has joined Boss Bawss Fistboss on the ground, both of them sitting cross-legged and facing each other. Shamefaced and red-eared, the elf shakily fumbles for a new cigarette, avoiding the ogre boss's gaze as she lights it up and takes a long, long drag.

It's only when she blows out another cloud of smoke that she seems to calm down. "... apologies. I didn't- I wasn't aware," she mutters. "You're different from the fuck-headed ogres we have had back home. Much different. More... eloquent? Articulate?"

"Nah, none of those pretty words. We ain't different from da other ogres; we're still ogres." Boss Bawss's mild reply nonetheless contains a hint of reproach, and the elf's ears actually seem to droop a little.

"Guess so." She takes another drag from her cigarette, visibly burning it down.

(Cont.)

>>21265543
After a while, she speaks up again, her voice quiet. "... its roots reach far enough down that it gets some water- Daphnaia, I mean. Enough to live. But the heat is murder on the tree. The periodic sandstorms wears down its bark, no matter what we do, and even the desert itself's rotting it from the inside out. Nothing we have grows well underground, or at all on the sand- can't support much more than us," she adds, gesturing up in the direction of the 'Tower of Decay.'

"The Elven Coalition was planning to be the first to conquer Terra Incognita, maybe even turn this desert into another green paradise to replace one we lost. If it's good enough, they widen the transportation portal, send more settlers through." The female elf shoots a glance at Boss Bawss, her expression back to its usual blank, blase deadpan. "Spent a lot of resources funding this venture. When it was clear that this was a bust... they preferred to sweep it under the rug, pretend it doesn't exist. Shut down the portal leading back to the civilized world. Let Daphnaia rot."

The elf quirks up one corner of her mouth. "Us, too, me and the rest of the crew here, though the Coalition goons called it 'protecting our interests here, in the unlikely event that the situation changes for the better.'"

(Cont.)

>>21265569
Boss Bawss scratches his head, frowning down at the shorter elf. "... dat's a lotta stuff to tell an ogre. You sure dat's a good idea?"

"You asked, it doesn't look like you're going to krum- kill us, and, well..." The elf shrugs. "Telling you can't be any worse than the situation we're already in." She looks back to Boss Bawss and grimaces. "No offense. Don't suppose there's much you can do to help us anyway, unless you're a master archdruid who shits rainbows and miracles."

The elf shrugs again. "But hey, the 'Tower of Decay' isn't a terrifying unknown to you guys, at least."

[ ] Maybe there's something we CAN do. We already shit bug food, maybe we can shit out a couple of miracles, too!
[ ] Cool story. If we stumble across anythin', we'll let you know if there's anything we can do.
[ ] KRUMP DA- well, okay, no, but we ain't gonna stick our necks out for you guys, sorry.
[ ] Write-in!

>>21265543
Heh, the Elf god is probably quietly sobbing in a corner at this point, while the luck goddess is laughing twice as hard.

>>21265573
>[ ] Write-in!

We gots deez pebbles. They make water. Does Dap- Da- Daph- da Tree of Decay needs water?

>>21265573
Offer her the pretty water rocks. They're exactly what the Tower of Decaphany needs.

>>21265573
[x] Maybe there's something we CAN do. We already shit bug food, maybe we can shit out a couple of miracles, too!

Sky's the limit.

[X] Maybe there's something we CAN do. We already shit bug food, maybe we can shit out a couple of miracles, too!

[X] Aquifier Pebbles. Instant water, just add water!

Rolled 3

>>21265573
[X] maybe we can do something

sounds like your tree needs a hat. If there's one thing ogres are good at, it's makin' hats.

>>21265612
We've also got a pretty bitchin geomancer. He might be able to do something too?

File: 1351059422219.jpg-(1011 KB, 1600x1200, ooooooohhhh Pretty.jpg)

>>21265573

>[X] Write in!

Alright, thats nice, but you can't keep being mean to anyone else you see.

Like those buggies have lots of stuff that they would trade you, if you asked them.
Like we did! And we got mushrooms and stuff, all cause we killed some giant bone dragon thingy.

Also, we'd be happy to trade with you, if you want.
>Why?
Because we have magic stones that can automatically make water!

>>21265622
>>21265615
>>21265612
she said the tree doesn't need water, guys.

>>21265612
And these mushrooms that grow good underground. And wind does not go though stone what if we made big stone piles to block the wind?

>>21265629
Yeah! We gotz... water pebbles! And Gubbins! He does the ground things!

>>21265641
She actually said that it gets "some" water and that it's "enough to live."

>>21265573
>[ ] Maybe there's something we CAN do. We already shit bug food, maybe we can shit out a couple of miracles, too!

I approve this message.

Go with the krumping water rocks, see if that helps. maybe setup a situation where we come to the Tower of Decaphany for supplies and offload water from our awesome flying rock base. Seriously I love our flying rock base.

>>21265626
SECONDED FOR GIGANTIC TREE-HATS

>>21265573
[X] Maybe there's something we CAN do. We already shit bug food, maybe we can shit out a couple of miracles, too!


"Right I gots an idea. We got dis floatin tingy dat we live on. An you got dis tree dat needs water and protection.

We gots dese pebble dat make water but dat ain't nough is it.

But wut if we take dis tree and plant it on Ogir Place. Ogir Place got dese arms and we got sum guys that can dig things really well. I think we can do this."

>>21265569
>its roots reach far enough down that it gets some water- Daphnaia, I mean. Enough to live.

But moar means better when Ogres are involved.

>>21265573
water pebbles, mushroom farms, our geomancer, floating island/oasis

there are lotz of things we have to help
question: what do we get in return?

>>21265655
Somehow this needs to work. that would be AMAZING

Wait. Do the desert elves have any way of contacting their Coalition? If so, we may want to wait on the pebbles - no need to give them the keys to dominate the entire desert, and sweep Bawss and Queenie off the map.

>>21265622

We also have mushrooms that grow underground. I'm not sure they can digest those though.

>>21265678
Could geomancy turn sand into dirt?

>>21265653
Third, the tree must have an amazing hat! One powered by Geomancy, it'll throw rocks at the sunlight until the sun behaves!

>>21265655
I like this suggestion.

>>21265700
Yeah, that's probably within Gubbins' abilities right now. (The biggest obstacle would be how MUCH he wants to change.)

>>21265676
There's no reason why it couldn't work. We've never been told exactly how big Ogir Place is but I think it's pretty damn big. We could stick a hundred foot tree on it, dig a nice hole to put it in and have it sticking out above it. It'd make a nice watchtower as well.

Digging the tree out could be done with some geomancy and elbow grease and making a hole for it in Ogir Place done the same way.

>>21265678
I agree, the pebbles might be a bit much. Not only that, if we bring the elves with us that will cause some rather obvious problems with the bugs-whose-names-I-forget. The elves killed a few of them, which they have to exact punishment for. If we give them the pebbles, then what is to keep them from expanding? I agree to help them, but not all in.

Also, we should name the Beastmaster Squiggly.

File: 1351060063218.jpg-(149 KB, 887x900, HI BOSS!.jpg)

>>21265665
I have a horrific feeling that the Ogres are going to create some kind of giant sentient tree, that likes hats.

On the other hand, that sounds awesome. Lets do it!

>>21265753
>>21265700

I agree with
>>21265678

Helping them survive is one thing. Helping them thrive is another. If their coalition decides it's worth it to come to the desert, we're fucked. You start turning sand to dirt, that's the first step to thriving.

>>21265761
Thing is, do we trust the elves enough to transplant their tree onto our sky fortress. I reccomend a combination of the two main plans: Hover Ogir Place over the tree, like a giant floating hat.

At least until we can make another hat.

>>21265650
>>21265775
im torn between these two ideas, having a gaurenteed supply depot would be nice but having the supply depot with us would be even better....need to weight implactions of having krumping elves with us all the time or just visiting once every one or two weeks...hurmm

also WHAT DO WE GET

>>21265772
If we bring them with us we can make sure they behave, it lets us keep an eye on them and it's not like they can pilot Ogir Place.

The Coalition abandoned these guys, they aren't gonna go and help them after being abandoned in the stinking desert.

>>21265573
>[ ] Write-in!
We got all dese ideas roight. Why not talk to the lady about -all- of 'dem? See wot she says? In dis order:

Make a hat for da tree,
Give them mushrooms, if they like them.
We can move dis tree to Ogir Place,
Give the pebbles to them?

>>21265792
Or, alternatively, we could turn sand to dirt.

Wow, this basically makes Gubbins an army killer doesn't it?

>>21265792
What if we can convince them to cut off their ties with the Coalition? They tossed them like garbage, anyways. Why stick to the one who abandoned you, when you can have a better friendship with Ogirs and Scaratones?
Desert Elf Revolution, HOOOOO

>>21265815
>makes Gubbins an army killer doesn't it
> Gubbins an army killer
> Gubbins an killer
not if the BAWS has anyfing to do about it

By the way, can we ask the elf's name.

>>21265812
>Give the pebbles to them?
nopenopenope

>>21265816

I like it.

[X] MAKE DA ELVES HONORARY OGRES.

Assign Beastmaster and half of our Moles to help dig out a cavern deep underneath Daphnaia's roots, and place a water stone inside.

In return, they help us with uh, things. What Ogres aren't good at.

File: 1351060583616.png-(46 KB, 400x400, 1321824304529.png)

... okay, for lack of a consensus and/or because my brain is full of fuck, I'm going to go with >>21265812, which is basically "ask the elf about most of these," except for the pebbles part, since a lot of people seem to be against that for various reasons.

IF YOU HAVE OBJECTIONS TO THIS PLAN OF ACTION, SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE

>>21265836
Yes.

To hell with caution.
I say we save them with our water pebbles.

Or move the tree to the oasis

File: 1351060643676.gif-(2.41 MB, 220x220, 1340640598023.gif)

>>21265825
Well he could just sink them into the sand, just up to their heads, then the Ogres can steal their hats and draw funny pictures on their heads.

Wow, that sounds like an incredibly Orge thing to do.

Also, lets not give them the pebbles yet, got to make sure they play nice with the other Ogres and the Bugmen first.

>Pic related
This things take time

File: 1351060703086.jpg-(35 KB, 495x434, 7d8f573583d4469733c31d428(...).jpg)

>>21265866
ALSO, while I'm writin' et cetera:

WE NEED A NAME FOR OUR BEASTMASTER OGRE.