File: 1351398694576.png-(62 KB, 680x679, 01.png)

Yes or no, /tg/? Be honest now.

N

File: 1351398874735.jpg-(39 KB, 562x437, 45283749.jpg)

"FATAL Friday"
please let this be a thing

File: 1351398923754.png-(71 KB, 681x679, 02.png)

>>21319295
My lie detector says you lied.

Randomly choose, or something in particular?

>>21319341
BLACK DWARF
BLACK DWARF
CHOOSE C

>>21319341
E, wouldn't be Teeg without it

Rolled 55

>>21319341
THERE'S A BROWN DWARF BUT NO BROWN ELF?
FUCK THIS SHIT.

>>21319341
Random everything.
It's all up to Murphy now.

>>21319322
this

Rolled 1

>>21319363
>>21319370
>>21319383
>black dwarf
>white dwarf
>brown dwarf / elf
The dice never lie.

1-2 = black
3-4 = white
5-6 = brown
>>21319397
>random
7 = random

>>21319322
it's ' FATAL "Friday" '
so it can happen whenever you want it to happen, anon

File: 1351399294133.png-(98 KB, 681x1016, 04.png)

>>21319409
Black it is. So CJ, are you a busta or a bustress?

>>21319427
Ignore the top image, that was from the last time I did this. We did Random, got a subterranean troll.

>>21319427

busta nigga, we don't need no hoes in this

>>21319427
Both

>>21319427
M

We are a rape machine

'It can be salvaged!' I said.

'It can't be that bad!' I said.

'Surely there's something redeeming in here' I said

And then, not 30 minutes ago, I read through the .pdf. Hold me /tg/. I want to unread the things I've read.

File: 1351399511533.png-(110 KB, 681x1016, 05.png)

>>21319447
>reading 977 pages in 30 minutes
How about no?
>>21319436
>>21319444
>>21319445
Male it is.

You a bishonen, CJ.

Do you want to reroll any stats? Wait 'til next post.

File: 1351399572726.jpg-(10 KB, 227x300, 2457u43.jpg)

>>21319447
Too late, we FATAL now. Roll for anal circumference.

File: 1351399681410.png-(40 KB, 679x343, 06.png)

If you reroll stats you may get double-fucked.
So, what's it gonna be, buddy? Gonna reroll any stats? Gonna do that? Huh? Gonna gonna?

>>21319486
That comes later.

>>21319473

well just by this, we're a sexy beast who's good with words, so I think we should focus on that

>>21319503
Yes.

I hope we get the one that makes you crazy

>>21319503

don't reroll, we got this in the bag, and ladies don't like mental illness

>>21319505
Unfortunately, with such a low Language and Common Sense, you'd end up being an eloquent average 4chan poster in terms of vocabulary and speaking prowess.

>>21319503
What the fuck, what stats are even relevant?

>>21319530
Maybe he has a low Language because of a ridiculous accent? Like the cleric in OOTS

>>21319558
Oh god your email, turn it off please. And never post it again.

>>21319503
No, we're good, next

>>21319530

oh damn, I didn't see the language score, just the vocal one

We'll pretend we're foreign and fake an accent with our fantastic vocal skills

>>21319534
Nothing. If this was a real FATAL game, we'd be DM fiat'd onto the rape train no matter what we did.
>>21319565
Sorry. It's supposed to be a stupid throwaway, I was one of the people trying to win Side Effect.

File: 1351400113477.jpg-(142 KB, 626x837, Your fortress will be nam(...).jpg)

Rolled 5

>>21319534
In a way, they all are. The average stat is 100. Keep in mind, those are your scores BEFORE modifiers.
Enunciation is usually only useful to wizards who have to chant, but also to speakers. 'Cause, y'know.
Spatial usually isn't that useful. Intelligence is useful to smiths -- most have a prerequisite of 90 or so for it.

>>21319520
>>21319529
>>21319568
2 no, 1 yes. Dice never lie.

1-4 No
5-6 Yes

File: 1351400233403.png-(74 KB, 681x676, 07.png)

Choose.

If you want to be a speaker, I'd suggest Rhetoric, because. Well. You'd otherwise be like a warrior without triceps.

>>21319620
Common Sense

>>21319620
Common sense

>>21319620

yeah, reroll rhetoric, we don't need language to be a suave motherfucker

and if the dice decide we should reroll another, reroll common sense

>>21319620
Common Sense. Let's not walk into every trap in existence.

File: 1351400374746.jpg-(150 KB, 688x914, Uncommon Sense.jpg)

>>21319631
>>21319637
Here's a reference for Common Sense.
You have 5 more minutes to decide.

>>21319620
Enunciation

>>21319656
But our Enunciation is good. Are you trying to make the char more consistently incapable, or something?

File: 1351400591642.jpg-(116 KB, 727x880, enun.jpg)

>>21319644
>if the dice decide we should reroll another
This is our dice, mind you. Normally in FATAL chargen you choose if you want to reroll stats. I think you can do up to four.

>>21319656
>>21319667
>wanting to reroll 210 words per minute

>>21319684
Post our other low ones, then. Rhetoric, Language, Spatial, for sub-70.

Hey, FATAL friday, or whatever the fuck day it is. Room for one more?

>>21319684
Still Common Sense, it's always a good thing to have

File: 1351400928612.jpg-(258 KB, 2090x874, Weak.jpg)

>>21319704
Give me time, what are you, a cop?

Of these three,
>Spatial is your "being a good dad and building your son that computer chair or bicycle or megazord" skill
>Rhetoric is obvious
>Language is your vocabulary

Choose, /tg/. Choose any of your 20 sub-abilities, I don't care which. Rolling in 2 minutes.

>>21319754
The rape train has no brakes, but if you manage to jump on, there's always room for another.

>>21319761
Hey, you time-limited us. I want to know if we'd get a funny character concept out of leaving them alone. And I didn't say you had to do it right this second either.

>>21319322

It's already a thing

>mfw this guy didn't see the 31-inch vaginal depth
>mfw this guy never kidnapped toddlers in his vagina or anus
>mfw I have no face for this

>>21319761
I say we reroll Common Sense and Rhetoric.

>>21319761

>Intelligence: Language
>Sub-ability Score 37-42
>Vocabulary Limit: Violate

.... We need to go lower

Rolled 2

>>21319810
>>21319756
>>21319656
>assuming low-Intelligence poster, ignoring
>>21319645
>>21319644
>>21319637
>assuming samefag, ignoring
>>21319631

Rolling d5, going down the line.

File: 1351401311124.png-(74 KB, 681x676, 08.png)

>>21319825
You did well, /tg/.

Another, or no?

>>21319620
Common sense gets my vote

>>21319838
Sweeeet. Rhetoric. These mental defects'll be fun.

>>21319838
Nes

>>21319854

Seconding, there are no stops on the crazy train.

>>21319838
Aye. Rhetoric. It will be hard to go lower.

>>21319838

awright,137, we don't need any more mental illness, so no

>>21319838
Nope, let's move on, I want to roll Anal Circumfrence already

Rolled 45

>>21319864
>>21319863
>>21319862
>>21319857
>>21319854
>>21319867
3 no, 3 yes.

The dice will decide. 1-50 = no, 51 - 100 = yes.

If yes, this will be the *last* stat reroll, then we move on.

Also keep in mind sexual attributes in FATAL are TOTALLY OPTIONAL and NOT REQUIRED to play the game. Book's own disclaimer.

>>21319883
Yeah, except how can you even call it FATAL then? XD

>>21319883
But the sexual attributes make it fun!

>>21319862
>>21319800
I can't fucking remember my trip from last time but if you fa/tg/uys finish this character I'll roll up a quest for it, Might be short might be long, I'm not as exhausted as I was last time.

File: 1351401679480.png-(98 KB, 681x1016, 09.png)

>>21319883
Hey, depression. That could have been worse.

Unless you have a burning communal desire to be a particular age, I will randomize it.

>>21319883
No

File: 1351401755701.jpg-(153 KB, 602x836, Xanax.jpg)

>>21319918
Here's your reference.

Rolled 10 + 20

>>21319918
We should be this old.

>>21319883
how would we roleplay a psychotic half-ogre whore who's also a pedophile without the sexual characteristics OP?

>>21319918

Young Adult, how else can we turn our depression into poorly written angst poetry?

>>21319918
Infant.

>>21319918
Middle Age

File: 1351401859003.jpg-(76 KB, 677x571, age.jpg)

>>21319938
That'd be like the equivalent of a human 13-year-old.

>>21319947
how will we rape things if we're an infant?

>>21319918
I'll take Middle Age. I don't particularly want a kid, even if only by Black Dwarf standards.

>>21319974
Seeing how this is FATAL, we can still probably be a 4 year old with a 12 inch cock.

>>21319998
well a horse cock on a baby would be mildly impressive but we would still lack the capability to rape anything that crosses our path.

This is /tg/ if we do FATAL quest then its the rape train, and I have to provide you with things to rape.

Though admittedly, raping our way through the local kindergarten does have its own deviant appeal.

>>21319998
...And here's why 4chan puts you on watchlists. Please, no. Laughing my ass off though.

File: 1351402178248.png-(72 KB, 680x679, 10.png)

Before I hit the button, our odds are extremely in favor of us being venerable. If we're 1d1000 years old as a starting age, and venerable is 201 years or older...
>>21319998
I think you could be in the original editions of FATAL. They forgot a % sign at the age modifiers, so by RAW you could crit an ability roll and be an infant with a Strength of 100.

Anyway. I will choose Middle Age, because this 1d1000 is scaring me. I don't know if it was supposed to be 1d100 or not.

Rolled 19 + 50

>>21319966
Okay, let's go for a young adult dwarf then. Excuse me for forgetting about that.

>>21320035
It's a lot of dice in real life, yeah. And it IS supposed to be 1d1000. We picked a really long lived race (and still wanted to play babies).

File: 1351402321430.png-(35 KB, 679x343, 11.png)

>>21320039
You were too late, but perhaps now you can help with the most important choice of all.

YES OR NO, /tg/?!

>>21320056
Yes

>>21320055
Actually probably 10d100 grossly simplified. Ah well.
>>21320056
YES. RAPE TRAIN AHOY

>>21320056
Yes

Rolled 17

>>21320056
FUCK YEAR

>>21320056

Yes, and by that I mean Yes, by which I imply, Yes, fulling and with complete understanding, Yes, Yes.

>>21320056
yes
The most hilarious part is upon us

>>21320056
YES

FOR THE RAPE TRAIN

>mfw when our cock is literally a train
>mfw when our sexual organs replace our face, thus we have no face

File: 1351402636840.png-(105 KB, 681x1016, 12.png)

Holy Heaven I wish I had this many people in my GURPS threads.

Okay, here are your adjusted stats. Haha you suck at almost everything. Don't worry though, that happens to almost every character, thanks to the Bell curve.

As a forewarning, I'm going to roll for occupation a bit differently than normal.

C'MON 12 INCH NIPPLES!

>>21320109
So we're a stupid but wise Bishonen Dwarf?

File: 1351402780213.png-(70 KB, 682x679, 13.png)

And heeeeere are your final, big attributes. These are found by averaging the four sub-attributes in their domain.

Reference pic in a second.
>>21320113
That's not even possible for a dwarf
What's wrong with you it's like you never read the book

>>21320135

>for a dwarf

>>21320135
Wait, you determine your attributes AFTER determining your skills?
Wat

>>21320135
Wise indeed. Don't have much else going for us, though.
>>21320148
I know, right?

>>21320151
It's not horrific logic, actually. You get better at certain tasks, and that's reflected in your stats, instead of having 18 int and arbitrarily not being able to read or something. Imagine having to start from those four totals and figuring out the requirements for that ridiculous list instead.

>>21320174
The whole thing seems whacked out as fuck, but the logic-in-system is sound, I'll give it that.

File: 1351403201861.jpg-(114 KB, 790x898, Retard strength.jpg)

>>21320151
No, skills are something separate.

You determine your sub-abilities by rolling something like [10d100 / 5 - 1]. Oh, I was right. I double-checked. Seems I've memorized that equation. You roll this once for each of the 20 sub-abilities.

There are five abilities. Each has 4 sub-abilities under it. They're "little" scores, while your abilities are "big" scores. To get your big score, you average its four little scores..
>implying order of operations faggot from a few days ago

So, you're a little slow for a dwarf, but you're not retarded.

OK, moving on.

>>21320135
pfft, it's fatal I always want every partr of the character's anatomy to be a wildly unrealistic as humanly possible. 12 INCH NIPPLES are the least of the troubles you can inflict on a character.

File: 1351403341827.png-(36 KB, 681x343, 14.png)

Brace yourselves.

>>21320232
Diameter or radius, mister?

>>21320210
Can we ge on with the sexings already?

>>21320242
>BRACED LIKE FUCK
Let's do this! Whoo!

File: 1351403453295.png-(40 KB, 681x343, 15.png)

>>21320245
He's referring to length, not width. But FATAL usually measures in diameter anyway.

>>21320210
I take it every part of this book is at least mildly offensive to some degree.

>>21320242
Rolling anal circumference.

>>21320267
We have sociopath eyes!

>>21320269
Not EVERY part. Last thread had some parts of magical items that didn't offend anybody. Like magical torture devices that made you weaker or smarter or had an 80% chance of healing you to full health when they would have killed you.

>>21320267
Let's roll our anal circumference...

>>21320283

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes."

File: 1351403687459.png-(34 KB, 681x343, 16.png)

Get hyped.

>21320295
Our eyes are gray, actually.

>>21320267
Most Attractive: Chest. Hmm. Is it hairy?
>>21320315
Indeed. Also, WHOOOOOOOO.

File: 1351403750434.png-(171 KB, 320x472, 44431-my-body-is-ready-th(...).png)

>>21320315

File: 1351403754428.jpg-(19 KB, 294x294, 132505226769.jpg)

>>21320315

YES! RAPIST EYES!

as for size? I like my FATAL characters big, width, length, diamter, whatever, it should be at its maximum. especially if it looks unnatural.

>>21320370
wat

that was dissapointing, our dick is tiny

>>21320389
We're 88 pounds. What we really have is rather tiny nipples.

>>21320389
>46 inches
Well...so are we.

>>21320389
>>21320370
Is that erect or unerect. If unerect, what is the current temperature?

>>21320389
To say nothing about our anus. Divide by pi to get the diameter.

>>21320389

It's a dwarf. He has a 4 1/2 incher. He's probably average or slightly large for his race.

...I actually typed that sentence. I need a drink.

>>21320370
For some reason I'm imagining this stubby little midget nigger dwarf with this grotesque face and beady eyes, just raising his arms up like "ooga booga booga" while completely naked.
Also of course, he has a look on his face that can only be described as "rape face."

Does anyone have a link to download this at?

>>21320416
A little over 1 1/2 inches.

File: 1351404266871.jpg-(94 KB, 716x912, sex.jpg)

>>21320398
No, the nipples are the average size for a dwarf.

I'll post the reference pics now. You'll notice we have a tiny anus. The only reason it's as large as it is is because we're Middle Aged.

Anyone else remember that /tg/ homebrew dwarf bar fight game? The original version had a three-step process for kneeing your opponent in the nuts, like the bully does in Bully. I kept getting erections as I "opened the chasm" and "lifted the pick" or whatever they were called.

The last one was NOT called Strike The Earth.

File: 1351404364152.jpg-(124 KB, 736x865, sex2.jpg)

>>21320414
It's erect. However, you'll see that you can achieve a longer length by adopting cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. It's a couple pictures down.

Oh we have a small penis, that's fucking wonderful it gives us great character pathos and stuff. We can rape because we're embarassed about our cock size and after we finish the raping we can write angsty poetry about our small pecker.

do we have any more stats that need rolling?

>>21320466
I think we can get more specific about debauchery? And we don't even know if we're slaves or not yet.

File: 1351404488360.jpg-(108 KB, 711x912, sex is what stephen taylor got.jpg)

>>21320466
>tripfag knows nothing of FATAL and doesn't realize "size" is related to "height"

>>21320495
Yes, FATAL is a deep and complex game for erudite fellows such as ourselves.

File: 1351404666833.jpg-(167 KB, 719x912, sex 4.jpg)

>>21320495
See? Our anus is tiny.

And see? Our dick is virtually 5.11 inches if the receiver is on top.

It's circumference is more than it's length. Truly, this is a paragon of Dwarf penis.

File: 1351404781870.jpg-(146 KB, 739x912, sex 5.jpg)

And here's your reference to Debauchery.

MOVING ON. Alignment and morality is next.

File: 1351404892516.png-(64 KB, 682x679, 18.png)

>>21320557
And you're a paragon of retardation, not knowing "its" from "it's."

Meanwhile, our dwarf is a paragon of fanaticism. Reference for alignment coming next.

We're actually a pretty nice guy so far as black dwarves go.

>>21320593
Apostrophes are used to show possession, numbnuts.

>>21320634

>it's
>showing possession

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha

File: 1351405096523.jpg-(11 KB, 325x100, us.jpg)

I think we also have to roll for our name on our own.

Get ready for more, /tg/.

File: 1351405097420.png-(80 KB, 163x196, itbegins.png)

>>21320634
Anyway, does no one have a link for this program? I must have it.

File: 1351405200966.png-(40 KB, 682x343, 19.png)

OKAY GUYS.

You like MENTAL ILLNESSES. But do you want to risk being more or less of an asshole in return for ALLERGIES?

Decide now!

>>21320650
I'll give it to you at the end or something.

>>21320634
Prottip: Always question whether you should use an apostrophe. If you're not quite sure, then don't.
Speaking of which.
>Don't
Is that possessive?

>>21320677

No, we're good.

>>21320677
>So you can make your character less holyfuckshitty, but it'll make him holyfuckshitty.
>You can also make that previous shittiness less shitty, but in return you'll have to make him shittier.
Wow.

>>21320677
Reroll Morality for allergies. Like that makes any sense whatsoever, but sure.

File: 1351405530832.png-(101 KB, 681x1016, 20.png)

What the hell do you mean the color of night isn't Choleric? Open you stupid door I want to be an assassin.

>>21320739
Morality isn't shittiness, though.

>>21320764
So... basically he's like any dwarf? Rock on.

File: 1351405713311.png-(73 KB, 682x679, 21.png)

>legitimate
>literate
>serf
>single
Heck freaking yeah, you on the road to greatness CJ

>>21320764
The color of night? And also what the hell. Depression was only a -20 and we still got 1. We're not that depressed though.

>>21320821
I mean only middling melancholy despite the boost. And those 90's. But yeah, we're pretty damn dorfy, except for the responsibility bit. So what's left to roll now that we know we're pretty much alone and indentured servants to a lord?

File: 1351405960578.png-(52 KB, 676x338, 22.png)

>>21320815
Birthday is month/day/year. There are 13 months and 31 days in every month. The starting year is 5100 KY. KY means kobold years. Kobolds somehow won out as the world year calendar setters.

So on 1/1/5100, our dwarf would be 129 years old. Smack in the middle of Middle Age.


But our name isn't CJ, our name is...
>>21320821
>hasn't played TES: Oblivion
I'm not sure you're old enough to be using this chargen program, anon.

>>21320677
NO WE MUST BE A FANATIC OF THE RAPE GOD!

>>21320811

Seriously. His temperament may as well be "anvil".

File: 1351406123706.png-(35 KB, 681x343, 23.png)

Gotta be honest, I like this name.

>>21320901
Fun fact: nobody has ever successfully made a FATAL character, because the spot on the character sheets (plural) for the god you worship must go untouched. The world source book Neveria was never finished, and the section on gods was not done. So nobody knows who all the gods are.

>>21320890
>TES: Oblivion
Maybe he's a diehard Daggerfall fan and only plays that?

>>21320948
>diehard Daggerfall fan

As someone who has logged 100+ hours on Daggerfall: BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>21320890
>>21320948
I prefer top-downs to Elder Scrolls style play most of the time. Tried Oblivion, said feck it and went back to Neverwinter Nights and the like. Replaying the original campaign recently, actually.

File: 1351406372309.png-(66 KB, 682x679, 24.png)

We're not done yet, /tg/, despite what the program says! We have to get an OCCUPATION.

>>21320948
Well, I can't hold *that* against anyone.

>>21320983
here's hoping for prostitute.

>>21320978
Its kind of funny, I have the Diamond Edition for NWN but I've never actually beaten any of the campaigns. I only played the game for the persistent worlds. There was this cool one, I forget what it was called, that was set in the LOTR universe. I was a Hobbit Sheriff armed with only words and a walking stick. Shit was SO cash.

>>21321007
There's so many of those bloody things that are still running. I've got the complete edition of it and the sequel - finally going to plow through this sucker eventually.

File: 1351406645786.jpg-(178 KB, 715x913, Serf.jpg)

Rolled 301

Dwarf serfs COULD have any job listed here, but they are more likely to have the jobs listed in >>21319592
Here's how I will do this. I'll roll on this chart here in my pic. Then I'll roll among the charts listed in the post linked earlier. You will choose which one you'd rather be.

If you don't meet the prerequisites for one of these two jobs, you will be the other.
If you don't meet the prerequisites for either, we will strike them out and reroll both.

Note that if you were actually playing the game, your Aedile (FATAL's term for GM) would likely let you choose your occupation rather than roll it.

Rolled 2

>>21319592
Second Occ.

>>21321040
>goldsmith
>dwarf
Awwwww shit nigga. We blingin now.

>>21321065

If you rolled on that table, that's Armorer.

Not dorfy at all.

>>21321040
Armorer and Goldsmith. Can we actually do them?
>>21321092
Forging armour isn't dorfy? What?

File: 1351406946935.jpg-(109 KB, 584x784, Jobs that you are not.jpg)

>>21321040
>>21321065
>>21321074
No, you ain't blingin' and you ain't my nigga. You don't meet the prerequisites for either of these jobs. You sure as sin don't have the Spatial Intelligence for Armorer, and lack the Hand-Eye Coordination (barely) & Intelligence (by a lot) required for Goldsmith.

One of you reroll for me. 1d1000, and 1d30.

Rolled 35

>>21321107

Rolled 23

>>21321107
Now 1d30. Can't combine different dice types.

JESUS CHRIST

THIS GAME

THIS FUCKING GAME

Why is everything so God damn complex? What does it asks people to roll a d10000000? Why does it some many different ways of generating stats?

IS THIS A JOKE? WAS THIS INTENDED? IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?

>>21321212
It was actually srs. i dont recal a d10000000 though

>>21321212
FATAL is like a bottomless pit of autism. You just can dig and dig forever and keep thinking "SURELY it can't get any worse than THIS".
And it always does.

>>21321236
there is one for the number of babies in a pregnancy

File: 1351407662299.jpg-(83 KB, 601x784, Job that you are.jpg)

>>21321123
>>21321135
Congratulations!

Hartmundus is a Baker!

Good rolling anon! Good show! Great effort! Good going! Good job!

>>21321261
I would pay cash money to see a drawing of a literal "bottomless pit of autism"

File: 1351407758622.jpg-(84 KB, 330x306, Disgusted girl.jpg)

>>21321270
>using a d10000000 for pregnancies

>>21321281
>cheating baker
>sent to stocks with a loaf round his neck

WHY?

and WHY ARE OGRES BAKERS?!?!

>>21321300
Nah, drop a zero there buddy. You have a 1 in 10,000 chance of having quintuplets or some shit.

File: 1351407832658.jpg-(34 KB, 348x482, osb.jpg)

>>21321270
>>21321236
You roll a 1d10,000,000 for the number of babies in your pregnancy, and a 1d1,000,000 for a Freak of Nature roll.
>>21321212
It doesn't get any more real than this.


Step it up guys, I already posted this here: >>21320566

>>21321300
>not liking using d100000000 for pregnancies

Do you even CoC?

Rolled 7

>>21321270
I remember that now. I... *sigh*
>>21321281
Considering we're pretty clumsy and trying to sort through a thousand options, I'll take that as an actual compliment. Also, wtf the stocks.
>>21321288
Have little outcroppings along the visible walls of the pit where different groups are taking these rolls seriously? I don't see how to represent it in a literal pit without some flat space in there. Hmm.

>>21320566
>roll of 99 causes you to be willing to eat poop.

>roll of 99+ do anything

99+ MEANS 100 JUST SAY 100 YOU STUPID FUCKER ALSO WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORSE THAN EATING LITERAL SHIT??!!

File: 1351408094805.gif-(1.52 MB, 160x120, amuseddavidbeckham.gif)

>>21321341
This fucking thread has me dying you guys.
My heart might actually just stop.

>>21320566
>receive mammary sex
>higher than vaginal sex

its easier for a girl to want actual penetrative sex than to give titfucks?

FATAL creator confirmed for ever-wizard.

>>21321388
Only a wizard could get a game of FATAL running

>>21321314
>collect 7d10
>roll d10000000

THAT IS NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS 7 TEN SIDED DIE IS 7D10 NOT D1000000 HOLY FUCK YOU RETARD ASDNFBXASDFHJASFASFNAKHFBKBHJBASDFAS

>>21321397
>implying we all don't secretly want to see one run.

>>21321388
Last time I checked women don't spontaneously orgasm when their boobs get groped, but DO in fact take pleasure from having things jammed into their vagina

>>21321410
One d10 per digit. It works.

File: 1351408430661.jpg-(249 KB, 1334x894, Advance.jpg)

Alright, so we know Hartmundus is a baker, but just how good a baker is he?

Let's find out.
>>21319592
Dwarves begin work at age 24.

Hartmundus is age 129 as of game start, so he's worked for 105 years.
The square root of 105 is between 10 and 11, so Hartmundus is likely a Level 10 Baker.
This is fairly typical of a dwarf. About 55% of dwarves are of level 10 in their occupation, or lower. That means 45% are of level 10 or higher.

>>21321341
But you can go higher than 100, anon. I once thought the same as you, but I was corrected.

>>21321431
>Last time I checked women don't spontaneously orgasm when their boobs get groped
That's cause you're doing it wrong.

>>21320566
>proportions of multi-births are referenced from Microsoft Encarta encyclopedia

>Encarta

>1998+

Holy fuck this man tries SO HARD to be legit but he just FAILS AND FAILS

>>21321449
Want some ICE for that BURN
>>21321431?


>>21321445
Is hartmundus a cheating baker? be careful of those stocks harty boy.

>>21321431
>pleasure from having things jammed
>things jammed

OK, go find a girl, stick a beer bottle up there as hard as you can. see how horny she gets.


The word is INSERTED not JAMMED

Rolled 20

>>21321469
According to his cheek mole, he usually gets cheated ON.

>>21321445
If you can go higher than 100 than there is actually MORE CHANCE of you having no morals at all than of you saying "I'll eat your shit but NO MORE THAN THAT." since "eat-shit line" is a 99 only.

>>21321489
Which, since I got things mixed up, I'm not going to say he was just framed and is now being executed.

File: 1351408751715.png-(164 KB, 336x360, Sure.png)

>>21320566
If I'm reading this right, it's easier to convince a girl to swallow semen than it is to finger her?
Ummm...

>>21321502
going to say* god damn it.

File: 1351408849654.jpg-(68 KB, 363x786, Ding.jpg)

>>21321281
>>21321445
Hartmundus is a Level 10 Baker.
Every loaf of bread baked gives 1/10th of one AP. In other words, each AP earned represents ten loaves of bread baked.

In his 105 years of experience, Hartmundus has made approximately 5,120,000 loaves of bread.

>>21321531
Was he the sole supplier of a goddamn army or something? holy jesus.

>>21321508
I... what. The pit, it just keeps going deeper.
>>21321531
Jesus. Doesn't he ever make anything besides bread? How is he not going insane from boredom - oooooh. Midlife Crisis. I gotcha, Rape Train.

>>21321551
THIS BAKING SKILL HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE HARTMUNDUS LINE FOR GENERATIONS!

>>21321531
Averaging 9" for a single loaf, that means if you laid out every loaf hartmundus has ever made, it would stretch 3,840,000 miles. that's almost 160 times the circumference of the earth. that is a fuck load of wheat.

>>21321531
>>21321577

48,762 loafs of bread a year. 133 loafs of bread a day. 5 loafs an hour. for 105 years.

>>21321602
5 loafs an hour for 24 hours, assuming he sleeps 8 hours a day, its actually 9 loafs an hour

>>21321602
Bullshit. I wanted to break it down into numbers, and thank you for doing so. Five loafs an hour, counting any off days? What? And is this eight hour days, or 24 hours?

>>21321609
And if he gets weekends off? Or, you know, doesn't work for eight hours?

>>21321612
its 16 hour days. no off time either. or sick days.

>>21321612
>>21321633
well 9 loafs an hour for 16 hour work day.

File: 1351409596660.jpg-(180 KB, 749x892, Skills, ayaiyai.jpg)

>>21321531
Well, that averages to about 48,762 loaves per year, or 120 loaves per day. (Keep in mind a year in Neveria has 403 days. 13 months * 31 days per month.)

Maybe he had a big bakery or something.
Think of the baker next time you play Dwarf Fortress.


Now then, /tg/, there's more. I want your help. I ask for it. We have some dice to throw.

I want to find out just how many skill points he's accumulated over his years. This would result in us rolling over a hundred dice, however, with denominations from d4 to d10.

Normally in FATAL chargen, you roll dice for each year you were born, and invest your SP "realistically" according to what you did that year. Normally this means your first few years represent your greatest investment in Pissing. With an old enough character, however, FATAL affords us a small mercy -- we can roll all the dice together and lump sum it.

What I ask your help with, /tg/, is helping me roll all these dice. Would it be faster to go to some website and do it rather than here? Yes. You can do that if you wish and screenshot/link the results. Will you help me?

I need:
>25 [1d8 - 1]
>24 [1d6 - 1]
>49 [(1d10 / 2) -1]
>28 [1d4 -1]
The -1 to each die is important. It's entirely possible to have a 129-year-old character with zero skill points. Extremely unlikely, but possible.

While you do this favor for me, I will be setting up his opponent.

>>21321531
>>21321602
>>21321609
>>21321633


/tg/, derailing FETISH: THE TABLETOP GAME threads into bread making discussions

>>>21321531
Opponent? *crosses fingers for loli*

Rolled 7 + 1

>>21321649

Rolled 1 + 1

>>21321649

>>21321662
You silly. /tg/'s random number generator (RNG) can only roll 25 dice at a time, of one denomination at a time, and can only ADD values to it.

>>21321649
>>21321670
Manually rolled 6, 2, 3, 1

Rolled 7, 4, 3, 8, 4, 3, 5, 8, 4, 3, 8, 2, 7, 3, 4, 8, 7, 2, 2, 2, 8, 2, 5, 1, 8 = 118

>>21321680
Oh boy, here we go. Let's roll 25d8 and then take 25 off after.

Rolled 3, 5, 5, 6, 3, 2, 6, 5, 3, 6, 6, 1, 2, 6, 1, 5, 1, 2, 2, 4, 3, 4, 3, 1 = 85

>>21321700
That got me 93.
>>21321700
Now then, 24d6 - 24

Rolled 1, 6, 1, 3, 4, 3, 4, 5, 6, 5, 4, 2, 3, 5, 5, 4, 4, 3, 6, 2, 1, 6, 3, 3 = 89

>>21321670
I didn't know the 25 dice, or adding. Sheesh. Whatever, I'll do this next one in two parts.
>>21321716
A 61 here. Now rolling 24d6 - 24

Rolled 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 4, 6, 8, 2, 7, 5, 10, 9, 10, 4, 7, 6, 6, 6, 5, 8, 10, 10, 7, 9 = 168

>>21321727
Wait, did I say that? Disregard that second one, I suck cocks. This'll be 25d10.

Rolled 4, 1, 2, 1, 6, 7, 8, 5, 4, 1, 6, 7, 10, 1, 10, 9, 5, 7, 2, 4, 8, 1, 1, 1 = 111

>>21321744
Which is also divided by two apparently. I'll do that after I'm done adding. This'll be 24d10, and we'll add, divide, and then take away 49.

Rolled 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 9, 8, 1, 5, 4, 6, 5, 7, 6, 6, 2, 8, 2, 9, 6, 5, 10, 2, 1 = 132

>>21321751
>>21321744
Alright. 279 / 2 = 139.5, which Imma round... up. 140. That's a 91.

Rolled 2, 2, 1, 2, 4, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 2, 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3 = 50

>>21321766
Alright, last two. And I wonder why no one ever talks about THIS when they joke about FATAL. 25d4 to start.

Rolled 1, 1, 1 = 3

>>21321775
3d4 now. ALMOST THERE. Down the autism pit we go~

Rolled 2, 1, 3 = 6

>>21321781
>>21321775
Okay. That's a 25. Huh, this one sucked. Back to your regularly scheduled rape train, I guess?

Rolled 3, 4, 4 = 11

>>21321785
For full comprehension, the four values:
93
61
91
25.
Blight take you FATAL, what was that even for?

>>21321785
Add up all the total results for me, would you? It will be our lump sum of Skill Points.

Rolled 2, 1, 2 = 5

>>21321807
Hah, sure. 270. Good or bad?

>>21321812
270 skillpoints? wtf?

Rolled 1, 4, 3 = 8

>>21321812
Also, are we going to roll all of our skill investments somehow? I just feel the need to make it possible for our character to say, have no idea how to Piss. We're certainly not striving for "realism" God damn this game.
>>21321862
And it was supposed to be possible to have 0. Can you believe that? Also I should have rolled 1d5s on the 1d10/2 thing. *headdesk*

File: 1351411146753.jpg-(60 KB, 468x335, castle_010[1].jpg)

>>21321812
Good enough as far as I care to allot them!
Now you know a bit more, /tg/ (and you especially, anon), just how crushing FATAL is.
Also the FATAL-generated name for the dwarf was "Hartmudus," but I like "Hartmundus" more. That will be his name.

Here's the situation.

Hartmundus the Baker has been on the bad side of a love affair with a noble lady, and his rival lover has worked political magic to successfully accuse Hartmundus of CHEATING ON HIS BREAD'S QUALITY. However, so great was this jealous man's pull that he circumvented the normal penalty for such behavior and instead arranged a rare event: Harmundus would be thrown into a gladiatorial pit with a captive Subterranean Troll named Krates, and the two are to fight to the death.

Krates's stats are here: http://pastebin.com/rxLWgLBw

Hartmundus is here: http://pastebin.com/Q4qev9Y4

There are no weapons. There are only fists and feet and penises, should it come to that. Hartmundus was not even afforded a stale loaf of his supposedly quality-cheated bread around his neck.

Continued in next post.

>>21321876
Please tell me krates is not a female troll. PLEASE.

>>21321876
How hard is it to lactate?

Rolled 2, 1, 1 = 4

>>21321876
I'm feeling cheated so far, XD. Also, we have a tiny anus, and that is a troll. We really need to make sure it doesn't come to that, if Krates is male.

>>21321876
>>21321921

Krates will finger Hartmundus MAX. no more than that.

Hartmundus, though, will potentially anally violate Krates if need be.


(based off of debauchary rolls)

>>21321876
>troll
>8 inch penis


AHAHAHAHAH OH WOW

At least 30% of your skill points from working age onward are to be spent on occupational skills. For Hartmundus, this means Cooking and Haggling. But that doesn't really matter -- we'll take 30% of 270 and that'll be the skill points Hartmundus has to spend on skills.
30% of 270 is 81
270 - 81 = 189 skill points.

Remember, he's 105 years old. You'd get a lot of knowledge in that time.
>>21321913
Krates is male. He's a blacksmith. He's 26 years old.

>Manhood Length: 8.21667 Manhood Circumference: 6.00638
>Anal Circumference Potential: 10 Nipple >Length: 0.5
>Areola Diameter: 3 Areola Hue: >Medium
>Tongue Size: 3 Sexuality: >Heterosexual
>Debauchery: 18

He's also twice your weight, almost twice your height, and he's angry. Thankfully he's not a sorcerer, as many Sub. Trolls are.

>>21321946
>>21321951
* inches long, 6 inches wide.

By troll standards, krates has a CHOAD.

>>21321876
This guy sounds better, and is smarter. BEND IT.
CAPTCHA: from ionstorm
FATAL, BY ION STORM

>>21321965
>6 inches wide
>Circumference

>>21321951
Taunt his miniscule penis and declare him less intelligent than a loaf of bread.

>>21321981
given that we've made over 5 million loafs of bread in our time, surely ONE of them was sentient (or at least smarter than a troll)

>>21321980
Ahh shit, missed that. its still a tiny dick for a troll.

>>21321981
The troll is smarter than us.

>>21321992
And that's why we're insulting him, ya idiot. We need to make him mad, so he stops thinking as much. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

Rolled 4, 3, 3 = 10

>>21321965
*Snrk* Still. He's also Immoral and wants to burn everything. Hooooooo shit his strength is 198. And he's a mechanical genius. Uhh. Fuck it, let's go down laughing.
>>21321992
In just about every way, yep. And heterosexual, so no seduction rolls. Umm... OP, bail us out here. What are our options?

>>21322007
He IS 100 choleric and a lot of sanguine. Go for it? I'll put my vote down.

File: 1351411992925.jpg-(251 KB, 740x1510, Brawling.jpg)

>>21321965
>Choad
>Usually penis, penis wider than it is long, or the area between the penis and anus. Taken from colloquial Spanish.
I learned a new word today.

Now, this thread is at a lot of posts, I want to start a new thread SOON. Not now, soon.

I'm going to give you guys the basics of FATAL combat. Specifically, FATAL Brawling. I'm not going to try to cover all the rules because, well, I actually want to see how this fight turns out!

First I'll give you Brawling tables. You'll be rolling on these tables for each Brawling attack. Each race has their own -- brown, black, and white dwarves have their own tables, each of the Troll types have their own, etc. I'll also give Humans for reference. I'll also give you one of the two elf types so you can laugh at how sissy they are.

>>21322020
>pinching
>pulling
>face slapping

MAI GODO, elfs are fucking bimbos.

>inb4 "you didnt know that already?"

>"windmill fury"

ULTIMATE ELF ATTACK GO


also always happy to learn people things.

>>21322020
This is... Hold on I need to breathe. And why is potentially tearing someone's eye out so low damage?

>>21322047
Also, we haven't invested skills yet. Can we dump some stuff in Brawling now?

>>21322020
>Windmill fury

>>21322053
In fact, I have to say... Dwarves have a pretty good table for this shit. Must be the part where we aim low.
>Groin-punch everything

File: 1351412762950.jpg-(134 KB, 740x1510, Skill Check.jpg)

>>21322053
Well now that you know what you're doing, I think we should mention Hartmundus was a huge hand-to-hand fighter in his baking off-time implying he had off-time, don't you think?
Some skills you may invest in are Brawling, Wrestling, Pissing, Tumble,
Probably more weapon skills too, though they'll go unused. You've got a lot of skill points. Perhaps Sexual Adeptness (which we will simplify) if you guys REALLY want to, but remember, both Krates and Hartmundus are heterosexual and they hate each others' race. Can love bloom? Probably not.

So anyway. Each skill has a Learning Curve (LC) assigned to it. For our purposes, you must pay 5 skill points to remove this LC and ignore it. Otherwise it acts as a penalty to skill.

The basic skill roll in FATAL is done on 3d10. You aim to EQUAL or EXCEED (!!!) the Threshold (TH).
A SIX is always a failure. I say again, a six is a fumble or failure. (Fumble is FATAL's term for critical failure.)

File: 1351412783701.jpg-(15 KB, 460x276, 12536211235112.jpg)

>>21322020
mfw windmill fury

>>21322118
>3d10
>6s are fails

ANY six? or a TOTAL of six?

>>21322118
Hmm. And each point is a flat + to our check, or does it say several skill points to change our modifier?