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>>21379009
Not sure I have either of those specifically. Will this sort of thing suffice?

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I love this guy's expression. It just cries "lol magic"

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Someone should have that picture of a wizard vomiting rainbows into their mug while wearing penguins for boots.

>Pour tea? Hah! I have Magic!

>>21379108

>Will you kindly fuck off, I have wizard shit to do

>>21379172
Something tells me this is a very good idea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzDbTD-Q-vA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKLoOfXkAeU

File: 1351736620025.jpg-(191 KB, 1096x729, Fix it. Now!.jpg)

>>21379160
This one?

>>21379225
I can't stop laughing whenI see those fucking penguins

>>21379032
>those hands
>lol, 2magic!

I just want to put it out there that unless you're using drugs as part of everything magic you do then you're doing it wrong. Also, if your spellbook isn't entirely about drug recipes, mind rape and body horror then you're doing it wrong.

>>21379225
DICKSPIDERS

>>21379251

Oh what, see:

>>21379206

Now who wants to run an IRC game about a wizard gangsta rap group?

Why do wizards and shotguns go so well together?

>>21379261
THE ULTIMATE WIZARD
OF ULTIMATE POWER

>>21379301
Please, bring this man a game boy

>>21379251

Pop pop pop watchin' BBEGs' drop

>>21379247
Indeed, one of my wizards had actually managed to weaponize his substance abuse and turn the effects onto others.

>>21379301
>"ugh, she's only got seven thorny barbed dicks, why did i even bother."

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>>21379266
Because you can always make dangerous things worse.

Its the schtick of the human race

>>21379255
I'm more concerned with that blue ringed octopus.

Seems like the kind of wizard that spends his time shooting bullets out his eyes.

>>21379284
Clearly I don't satisfy the guild standards on naked pixie assistants.

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>>21379244
Full comic, KC Green's Gunshow

Is this thread archive worthy?

Have I wandered into the wrong meeting here?

Where are my fellow mages?

>>21379357
No.

Am I the only one who always ends up playing wizards like magic murderhobos? It's not that I'm consciously trying, it just ends up that way every time.

>>21379340
So i guess that you aren't concerned about his seat.

A big fucking spider.

Seriously, that picture just keeps on giving.

>>21379359
I think they are all 'experimenting' with Hank's Power Word: Orgasm

>>21379373
HOLY SHIT, I NEVER SAW THAT FUCKING SPIDER

>>21379388
Yeah it is an amazing picture.

>>21379357
Hello newfriend, did you know all of /tg/ is archived?

>>21379387
There has been surprisingly little documentation on orgasmomancy and any sex-related magic overall. I wonder why that is.

>>21379371
That is what wizards do. When they get bored of that, they retire, construct giant phalluses in the middle of nowhere armed to the teeth to vaporize one hundred miles in the direction of a thief, and go harass other dimensions.

File: 1351737572711.jpg-(137 KB, 791x694, wizards.jpg)

WIZARD

>>21379359

The meeting's across the hall, through the double doors, and past the golem, this is the lounge.

As if we're going to spend time with those blowhards when we can dick around with mead, sacred herbs and naked pixie chicks.
Those grognards have no idea hwo to have FUN with magic.

>>21379415
Because you haven't read the book Druids?

>>21379419

>And go harass other dimensions

And thus the mystery of the Disappearing Underwear was forever solved for the people of Earth.

>>21379469
For now, perhaps, but there will always be another wizard.

>>21379419
My current wizard is a bit like Daffy and Donald Duck. Short-tempered, petty, will devote months to follow someone around to make their life hell one minor spell and curse at a time, for some imagined slight. He wields powerful magic but rarely uses it, because he's stopped being fascinated by other planes, beings and states of existence.

>>21379172

This is how I edition change from now on.

>>21379452
That could be it. I'm gonna attribute it to the fact that all wizards are asocial nerds with less-than-impressive physique who couldn't get laid in a whore house even if we weren't shunned for being magic users. There is of course the exception of Muscle Wizards, but that is hardly representative of wizards in general.

>>21379444
...meeting later. Mead now.

>>oningeRi anecdotical
Quiet, Captcha Demon.

>>21379419
And take drugs. Don't forget the drugs.

>>21379371
I don't know if you are alone here, but I play the gayest mages ever.

My first one was an avariel illusionist that was a teenager with silver eyes (in my defense, silver eyes and hair are a standard in the avariel writeup).

Then I played a very stylish grey elf that went everywhere wearing with a heavy red velvet toga, no shoes, earrings and painted nails. Because fashion.

Then, a fucked up necromancy student who was cursed to die, had the nastiest luck, 7 Con, who carried himself as he was the shit in terms of nobility (despite the fact that he came from a bourgesois family) and had a terrible attitude in general. Also, he despised women, so eventually he got involved with another male wizard apprentice.

When playing other clases, the characters are quite regular. Somehow, I seem to connect wizardry with being flamboyant, eccentric or plainly outside the norm.

>>21379534
Half the team should be already hopped up on something or other, especially in a modern or futuristic setting.

This is making me wonder, why isn't there more wizard based porn?

"These laws of physics bore me now, come girl! We're going to the elastic dimension!"
"What happened to my underwear?"
"Wizard!"

>>21379548
One of the most gratifying things about the thaumatic arts is being able to cause improbable things to happen, and then simply shout "WIZARD!".

>>21379515
Quit thinking wizards get to have all the fun or you'll never be a part of sex magic to send a huge surge of strength to your troops.

>>21379247
I find myself agreeing with this anon.

>>21379546
If only half the team is doing it then only half the team are true wizards, the rest are casuals.

>>21379593
I was referring to the "tradional" team set-up, actually. Mainly the mages. And the rogues, for that matter.

>>21379576
I don't want to be in your Circle of Buttsecks! I want real fucking women dammit!

>>21379600
In that case there's just more of the weird stuff fro the wizard, as I see it.

>>21379620

Gender swap magic, bro. We've looked into the abyss and come back with a demon's trinket for laughs, you think SEX bothers us? The orgies stop being weird when you realise just how much fun they are.

>>21379593
LSD and cocaine!
Now I want to play a wizard whose "tower" is made out of easily-transformative materials, and the wizard gets his kicks by giving in to psychosis and subconsciously altering the physical and metaphysical properties of the tower. Essentially making his trips come true. Could make for a fun villain, too, after he loses his grip on reality and starts to fuck around all over the world, thinking it's a bad trip that he has to liven up a little.

>>21379631
The wizard is already removed from reality, or perhaps reality is already removed from the wizard, so he can screw around as much as he wants, and the rogue could really use some adderal or something to really make him focus. The other guys are liable to do something bad, though.

I must say this thread is making me really feel like playing chaotic neutral right now. Too bad I have no friends.

>>21379620
Oh, you'll get a real woman for the really strong sex magic. You'll also be stripped naked, bound tightly, and teased for hours as everyone looks on, but you'll get a real woman. And then all that energy you built up will be released to help our troops conquer our enemies.

>>21379647

LSD burnout wizard. Has no fucking idea what he's doing, but his trips kind of infect reality around him, twisting the world into what he's seeing.

The natives of the nearby village have almost becoming used to occasionally becoming a potato or seven-breasted demon hooker until the wizard passes out in an alley.

>>21379662
Good thing there's like 2 group finder threads on TG at anytime.

>>21379633
It would probably not be as bad if any of these faggots knew what women look like. Or if any of them actually looked good as women. I saw Frank try that shit and that shit was messed up! I've seen his scores too, and it's fucking scary if someone like that is considered a natural talent.

>>21379647
Now I want to play a game where the wizard and the rogue or bard work in a magical meth lab or something. Kinda like a magical take on Breaking Bad.

>>21379684

Frank "I can't do anything about my head" Pomphunopolis?

No size of boob nor smallness of waist can hide a five-foot beard and ear-hair.

It's not that he doesn't know what a woman looks like, he's just /really bad at this/.

>>21379673
I've actually played something like that. The wizard would ingest some weird hallucinogenics and things would start changing around him, minds would start warping. It was kinda his schtick to jack himself up with something really nasty in a fight and unloading the high and the nasty side effects on the enemy.

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>>21379714

This MUST happen.

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>>21379714

>Kinda like a magical take on Breaking Bad.

>>21379724
Don't lie to me, like I said I've seen his scores. We're already gay enough as it is with all these color coded robes and the phallic architecture for it to not be totally gay going around fucking each other! YOU'RE ALL GAY!!! YOU HEAR ME?!!! YOU'RE ALL FAGGOTS AND QUEERS!!!

>>21379673
Summons demons without knowing it, then gets scared as shit, shouts about ambushes, the Last War and starts to blast the shit out of the poor confused outsiders.

>>21379388
not noticing his shoes are penguins smh

>>21379778
>YOU'RE ALL GAY
WHAT

DID SOME OTHER HOMOMANCER GET A RITUAL OFF

FUCK

I SPENT WEEKS ON THIS THING

>>21379397
What's the source on it?

>>21379491
He didn't say it was stopped, just that now we know why.

>>21379714
>>21379754
>>21379765
>not Alchemist

>be a half-orc fighter
>get in a fight with some tentacle-faced crab-handed whozeywhatsits
>party ifrit sorceror gets caught in grapple with one
>charge that fucker, get caught in a grapple myself
>wizard that has been dicking around the whole fight decides that this is the best time to cast fireball
>mfw
>crab-squid monsters are fried, I'm near dead, and the wizard starts chatting up one of his summons.
>I rip off one of the crab's claw's, throw the wizard to the ground, and stab the ground next to the wizard's face.
>"What the hell were you thinking?!"
> Wizard, unfazed, says "It was the best course of action we could have taken."
>mfw

godDAMN wizards

>>21379397
All I want to know is if the hair on his head and in his armpits are eldritch horrors slowly growing in size and power.

>>21379225
>Spiderseat
>Spider-infested fanny pack
>Octopus in pocket
>Penguin boots with little wings and legs
>Vomiting rainbows
>Into a mummified skull with ruby eyes
>Wizard hat

Did I miss any details?

>>21379816
>Homomancy

This, gentlemen, is why we don't like Elf wizards

File: 1351740190529.gif-(349 KB, 500x278, sir_digby_chicken_ceasar.gif)

This is my next Wizard.

>>21379858
That fucker stays the fuck away from my cooking equipment if he knows what's good for him. The crackhead dipped his head in a tub of the pre-diluted stuff once and ruined the entire fucking brew.

>>21379117
>I wonder what would happen if a sun made of ice collides with a sun made of fire
>"...sire I do believe more pressing matters are at ha-"
>SILENCE YOU CRETIN

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>>21379907

>For those who don't get the reference

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-uRstNIqkw

>>21379903
>Elf
I screw 'em, but I ain't one. And I'll have you know most Homomancers are humans (such as me) or dwarves. Alright, also plenty of half-elves but who can resist?

>>21379836
http://mattrhodes.deviantart.com/art/We-are-NOT-taking-the-wizard-256979744

reverse image search is your friend

>>21379941
People keep setting us up, but we never get along when we're alone with each other.

>>21379927
I always thought Homomancy was a Bard specialization.

>>21379993

No, you're thinking of Perform: Hard Gay

>>21379910
And now I want to play an Alchemist junkie.

>>21380081
Then you should try some of the shit I've been cooking up in my tub. Your mind will go like, like a... Your mind will like become bigger or something.

>>21380135
I hope it's not like when Vulgar tried to do the same thing and ended up making that poor peasant woman's skull two times the size without changing the content?

>>21379903
It's not gay if it's with an elf.

>>21379778
>Calls the necromancer gay
And then John was a zombie.

>>21380172

>And then John was a *violated* zombie.

>>21380162
This, gentlemen, is why we don't like the elves' strong lobby organization.

>>21379869
Probably? Either that or they're actually more spiders.

>>21380160
... Noooo, it's nothing like that, promise. Vulgar was an amateur who thought using oregano would substitute fro pixie dust. I substitute with something completely different, swear to phallic architecture or something.

>>21379251
Did he magically etch a glowing portrait of himself on the muzzle of his gun?

>>21380229

...Here lies Vulgar.

He couldn't tell the difference between Crystal Meth and Lamb Casserole.

Nothing of value was lost.

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>>21380229
Good, I never want to see a person's gigantic head fall sideways and break while her eyes pop out of its much too large sockets, and the brain can be heard sloshing around inside the giant cavity its home turned into... again...
I'M SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I SNORT ELDRITCH MONSTER-SNOT TO LOSE MY MIND?!

>>21380312

Please, someone, please, drawfag a wizard under a bridge selling "mind expanders and wibbly tonics" to children

>>21380312
The snapping of the neck, the tearing of muscle and skin, the scalp falling down making a little nest of hair, skin and blood... the horror... the horror...

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>>21380374

>>21379301
>Nice, nice, but how about that LAPDANCE I asked for six hours ago?

>>21380397

oh fuck you I was halfway through a cigarette drag and just swallowed all the smoke due to bursting out laughing

I just spent the last two minutes coughing and spluttering whilst my sides attempted to evacuate

Damnit, man

>>21379301
I fucking love this picture because he's watching a flaming succubus dance naked for him and he could not be more fucking bored. It's like he has nothing to do and there's nothing on TV. He's thinking about summoning something else, but forming a series of gestures with his finger is just too much work to bother with.

>>21380438

That's the spell. HIs finger taps the arm of the chair until something gets summoned he can fap to.

...he's a wizard version of one of us after spending a few months on hentaitube.

>>21380455
I think most people on /tg/ are actually pretty normal and think hentai is weird.

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>>21380285
Obviously.
Wizards be straight pimpin'.

Rolled 71

>>21380469
>I think most people on /tg/ are actually pretty normal
Don't mind me, just doing my standard roll to see if this thread has given me a new fetish yet.

>>21380469
see >>21379956

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>>21380469
You're allowed to think whatever you want to think.

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>>21380526
I think it's about time we start posting some good ol' thri-kreen.

This thread has given me great ideas for playing wizards. Thanks /tg/, thou truly art the greatest of boards.

>>21380566
This is a wizard thread.

Post thri-kreen wizards

>>21380526
>>21380566
>Wizard thread
>post psionic race

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>>21380647
Call the cops

I'll alter their thoughts so they don't give a fuck

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>>21380647
>psionics
Filthy untermenchen. Same goes for you 'fighters'.

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>>21380706
Erudite would like to have a word with you

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>>21380725
Don't make me laugh.

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>>21380706
Oh hey, look at all those spells you memorized! Wait, where did they go? You forgot them, you say?

Whoops! My bad!

>>21380760
I love sorcerers. Wizards are more adaptable, sure, but it is times like those when the ability to blow something up on a whim is just irreplacable.

>>Playing nWod
>>Mother fucking Wizard.
>>Solve every problem by punting bitches into the future.

I'm archiving this. This is the best thread we've ever had about wizards.

>>21380895
>Die at age 40 when all of your enemies appear simultaneously in the room, weapons drawn and angry.

File: 1351747254296.jpg-(299 KB, 922x1000, 1350965639192.jpg)

Does Minnimarco count as a wizard?

>>21381204

Best way of leaving the group. Ever.

>>21381215
>Minnimarco
I do hope that is canon. Guy was a fucking god, really.

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>>21380501
>mfw I rolled 4 new fetishes in one thread on /tg/

That was some shit

>>21381204

There is no problem that cannot be solved by sending it further and further into the future.

Twice, if need be.

It's like Batman and his prep. time. Give a wizard enough time and he will send you as far into the future as he can remember.

>>21381338
Which ones did you get?

>>21381346
>There is no problem that cannot be solved by sending it further and further into the future.
Old age?

>>21381361

But you're a wizard. You can literally end the universe on a whim. Turning back time is quite literally breakfast table problems for a good wizard.

>>21381361
You need to try and broaden your mental horizons to understand that which is wizard...

I'd suggest the guy under the bridge.

>>21381361
Send yourself into the future. Hopefully they'll figure out the whole "biological immortality" thing eventually.

>>21381361

Send Father Time to the future. Do not return his calls.

>>21381439

I hear the Mind Expander Elixir works well.

>>21381354
BE, possession self-pleasure against will, snake-girls and gender change

>>21381346
But... where do they all go? Will, at some far point in the future, far beyond anything so petty as 'eons' or 'eternities' when the formerly omnipotent mage has finally lost his might, they appear, in their uncountable legions, of every race and creed, of every shape, race, and species, monster and man, god and demon, all merely knowing the last moment before their trip to the end, all intent upon slaying the mage? So great in number that when they slay their powerless (and laughing) opponent, finally, they turn upon each other out of sheer confusion, ripping into each other with such rage and power that reality is shaken, until only a small few remain? Will they then, alone at the end of the universe, get to see reality beyond the little perch outside it all, made by the Mage with his last ounce of power, as it crumples into a single point, and explodes? Will they usher out, these tired few, using the artifacts left by the now-dead to fill the universe, continuing the unbroken cycle of life, coming from itself?

>>21381546

Just as planned.

Fucking Wizards.

>>21381546

WHERE THE ONLY FUTURE IS AKU

Rolled 59

>>21381544
>possession self-pleasure against will, snake-girls and gender change
There's a nice combo.

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>>21381346
>Clearly none of you have have had to deal with a Samurai...

>>21381574
>>21381590

>THE FAR ENOUGH YOU GO INTO THE FUTURE, YOU WILL INEVITABLY END UP WITH AKU

>>21381580

And where exactly are you getting the numbers for this?

>>21381781

Well, not the numbers so much as the list of what they correspond to.

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>>21379009
Behold! An original-topic post!

>>21381695
That's a lantern archon, silly.

Rolled 22

>>21381788
>>21381781
It's 1d100. If you roll 95 or up you get a new fetish based on what you were looking at when you rolled. For example, if I hadn't just rolled at >>21381580
and if I roll above 95 here, I'd probably get either a wizard fetish or an Aku fetish.

>>21381824
Wait, you don't already have an Aku fetish? Are you sure you've actually watched Samurai Jack?

>>21381824

Nice. I'll need to try that.

Rolled 19

>>21381824
Eh what the fuck, not like I can gain much worse than what I've got.

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wizards you say>?

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>>21382075

File: 1351754201281.png-(38 KB, 509x630, well, this changes things....png)

>>21381870
For all those still on the fence.

He is a >shape-shifting Master of Darkness after all

Rolled 12

>>21380501
It's a d20 roll.

>>21382330
Sexy green woman voices by Mako?

I jump in it.

Rolled 8

>>21381824
>>21382376
1d20, new fetish on 1
In THEORY, nat20 means lose a fetish. In theory