>>21470115
what did his voice sound like

All of my random encounters are with hobomancers who want my money.

I live in a pretty shitty neighborhood.

File: 1352297330404.png-(743 KB, 600x797, hidden_one_by_moni158-d5jx4t5.png)

..did you just meet an Assassin?

File: 1352297484076.png-(442 KB, 1254x903, 1314999371819.png)

>>21470556

File: 1352297590278.png-(165 KB, 511x496, Homeless_Guy.png)

>>21470249
Those aren't hobomancers. They're tree wizards!

File: 1352298010775.jpg-(41 KB, 399x600, baskingInThyAffections.jpg)

>Lonely wizard
>Need companionship
>Women are not interested in me
>Cast Call Familiar on a whim one day
>In the middle of town at the time
>Nothing happens
>Ronery for a week
>This little fucker rocks up
>Following me everywhere
>Hissing at teens and children who shout "NERD" in my face
>Cat's face when I realize he's the familiar I called

>>21470683
is that a picture of your familiar? cause he's pretty darn cute if he is.

>>21470683

Teach me your spells o' wizard.

>>21470683
D'aaaawwwwww

>>21470617
The world needs more people like these.

It'd be a better place for everyone.

>Work night shift
>Manage to have a string of nights off
>Realize the irony, as there's not much to do except Internet and drink
>Opt to take a walk, realize my foolishness fifteen minutes away from the house due to the fact that it's cold
>End up wandering towards a park
>Start hearing some metallic clanging
>Activate max stealth mode, actively avoiding branches and well-lit areas to see what the fuck is making that noise at three in the morning
>See a pair of dudes in the middle of a small bridge that goes over this decorative stream
>Fat guy of the duo is swinging a baseball bat like a sword
>Smaller guy's got a baseball bat of his own, using it to deflect
>Watch for a few minutes, then get the fuck out of there

I think I witnessed the birth of a training regimen. Fuckers were there a lot.

File: 1352301483552.gif-(128 KB, 497x501, 1318360886901.gif)

>work at an amusement park taking pictures at the entrance
>exceptionally slow day, maybe 50 people and hour coming in or so.
>two very interesting people come in
>a man, short military haircut, business suit, dark shades.
>very FBI agent stereotype
>a girl, short blue hair, countless piercings and sleeves, wearing a bikini top, black skinny jeans, and a studded belt.
>they are in my photo lane, I offer to take their pictures
>"We are here strictly on business"
>Its a slow day anyways, whats another lost customer
>they walk about 20 ft past me, stop and begin talking
>curious to what they were doing, switch with a back row shooter, so I can see what they are up to again.
>girl goes up to a security guard, a roughly 6'3" Hispanic man.
>asks for directions, and makes a remark about his name on his name badge
>"Carlos, like Mencia?" followed by dumb laughter
>"No, its last name removed to protect the guilty
>taking a picture of a group, but hear a thud
>security guard is on the ground, nose is bleeding
>G-man comes up and cuffs him.
>Leave the park with the security guard

MFW a LG Paladin and a CG Muderhobo came to work on the slowest day in summer.

>>21471056
the chick had tattoo sleeves, by bad

>>21470198
very gruff like an old smoker


I went out so sorry for the late responce

>mad as hell, lost my job
>get drunk, get thrown out
>wander out into the street, decide to just take a leak
>piss off the wrong guy by not-so-accidentally pissing on them
>beat him up in drunken fury
>three of his buddies round the corner
>they mad
>fuuuuuuuck
>suddenly, there's a hiss
>some chick is blasting them with pepper spray
>oh shit! I know that chick
>best friend from when I was like five!
>takes me back to her place
>bro it up for the rest of the night, become friends again
And that's how I met a party member

>>21471056

Was the girl hot?

>>21471112
>multiple piercings
that means 'no'

>>21471113
not a fan of piercings and tats, but id still give 6/10.
Not to mention dropping a 6'3" guy is pretty hot.

>>21471116
So either Carlos was in on some kind drug operation, paedophile ring, or he owed some money to some very unpleasant people?

>>21471133
I have to assume so.
I never got an explanation and never saw Carlos again.

>>21471139
They were actually criminals abducting large men for an underground fighting ring run for the amusement of the super rich.

>walking down a back alley taking a short cut to my local coffee shop like I do every morning
>make it about half way down the alley when my "oh shit, this doesnt feel right" sense picks up
>turn to look behind me, 3 guys with knives walk calmly towards me
>turn the other way because I know I can outrun them (track and field champ of my region 3 years straight in the 500 meter dash
>2 other guys blocking that way with knives as well
>oh fuck, im fucked
>hear a loud scream out of no where
>four dudes jump down from the alleys fire escapes with bats
>one tosses me one and says "defend yourself!"
>the five of us proceed to fight the 6 guys in an alley way
>3 of them on the ground knocked out, the others ran, the one who gave me the bat turns to me, takes the bat and says "you'll make an adventurer yet, may Tymora smile on you in your journeys" and they all climb back up the fire escapes
>Didthatreallyjusthappen.jpg

>>21471143
that would be a better story.
heck you could make a whole campaign based around the BBEG stealing guards for fighting rings and the problems of not having guards in murderhoboville.

>>21471144
4 guys walking down one way, 2 the other way

>>21471144

I'm having a hard time believing it. Tymora? Really?

ITT: undiagnosed schizophrenics.

>>21471171
Clearly you don't go out late at night in sketchy areas enough.

>>21471144

Buuuuuuulllshit

File: 1352302918193.jpg-(22 KB, 210x229, oh gosh.jpg)

>autumn 2007, going to college in North Bay, Ontario
>drunk, walking home from the pub after the UFC pay per view
>friends say bye and go their own way, leaving me to walk alone
>hear a vehicle slow down as it passes me
>guy leans out of a pickup truck and yells "YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON!!!" at the top of his lungs
>gives me thumbs up as he drives away

Apparently drive-by compliments were a thing in that town.

>>21471133

Bounty hunters?

>>21471139
Actually, the man was an LE mob enforcer and the woman was a CE killer for hire.

Carlos owed money to the cartel. He is now at the bottom of a nearby river.

>>21471204
>>21471200
>>21471143
>>21471133
These are all wonderful answers, but I really have no idea.

>>21471197
Was it a green ford, 1996 F150 and did the driver have a big bushy beard and medium lenth hair? If so that was me.

>>21471204
The amusement park, King's Island is only about 30 min from the Ohio river.

>>21471197
Probably a follower of the vlogbrothers on youtube. They did a thing a while pack on like positive prank calls and stuff like that.

>walking back from Gym to my home
>it's a ten minute walk, no big deal.
>suddenly notice an elder lady carrying a lot of plastic bags
>she's walking extremely slow and obviously having a problem carrying them
>walk over and offer help
>instantly thanks me
>i take the bags and walk beside her at her pace (which was ridiculously slow. This lady was past eighty years old easily.)
>we talk all the way
>apparently she lives alone, and was abandoned by her family after she grew senile, or something.
>after more than half an hour, arrive at her house and drop her off
>thanks me profusely, i repeatedly state it's no problem.
>head back home.

I guess that was sort of a random encounter.

I believe she died just a few days after that, as I've never seen any sort of activity on that house eveer since.

>>21471211
>>21471056
Most likely it was a joint agency type of deal, guy was probably FBI or NSA or something, due to the formal attire. Girl was probably CIA or another government intel place, hide in plain sight types, nobody's going to expect the multiple piercings girl to be the one who's coming after you

>>21471200

Actually I'm liking this idea.

Done in broad daylight but a little unconventional for cops. Security guard would be a decent out of the way money earner for a low-level criminal who'd skipped bail somewhere.

If that's the case, those two would make a good basis for a TV show...

>>21471237

Or maybe she was a ghost

>>21471222
It's been so long and I was really drunk, but I think the guy who did it didn't have much in the way of facial hair.

File: 1352303319956.jpg-(59 KB, 943x960, fuckindealwithit.jpg)

>>21471239

>undercover cop punk girl.

my DICK

>Traveling Europe
>Bus from Barcelona to Madrid
>Stop at some rest stop/gas station in the country in the evening
>Go to one of the vending machines
>Pain in back of head, black out
>Wake up in a car, some girl driving, dark out
>Don't understand anything she's saying
>What even the actual fuck is going on
>Uses her phone to call someone
>A friend of hers I guess, serves as an intermediary between us
>Apparently I had been knocked out, had some stuff stolen
>By the time the girl found me, the place was apparently empty
>Decided to put me in her car and take me home(?)
>Spent the next week and a bit at her place while waiting for parents to send money and shit

Apparently, since my passport had not been stolen (thankfully), when the girl found it on me she realized I was a foreigner and what had happened. All in all the whole event was 2spooky4me.

>>21471251
Iv been doing that sorta shit drunk in Northbay since 01, so I thought i'd ask.

Also, when you were up there, if you ever heard about that guy who took out a guy robbing tim hortons with a chair, that was me.

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>>21471239

>>21471263

Was the girl hot?

>Go to kitchen to grab a drink
>Get some water, look out the window
>A lady with pale skin, in all white clothing is standing outside my window, looking to the side. Has a white scarf and white boots and everything. A readhead.
>I do that thing where someone looks at something, looks away, then looks back a few seconds later, after they realise what they saw
>She's no longer there

>>21471275

Oh shit.

>>21471282

She was pretty definitely. She was engaged though.

>>21471300
>>21471275

G22 is watching you boy

Where I live is fucking insane. Philadelphia, man.

>Going out late, need milk for cooking. It's only like, 8 pm. So didn't think much.
>Two blocks to walk to corner store and back.
>Shitload of black kids there. Nothing new. They loiter there cause their school's a block away, they hang out around the surrounding blocks.
>I get closer, realize something very wrong.
>They're wearing fucking raven hoodies. Like, beak hood, black winged sleeves. Feathers stitched on.
>I stop to look at them in confusion. I mean blatantly big fat white dude staring at a bunch of black kids in raven hoodies.
>They look at me. One of them gives me a feather and says "I done seen everything,but I ain't ever seen an elephant fly."
>They laugh like it's the funniest shit on earth. I have no fuckign clue how to deal with this.
>Go in, get milk, have a goddamn painted black feather form a bunch of fucking black kids in raven hoodies.
>Look at them, and..just make a sound like I"m blowing a trunk.
>They go fucking nuts. They love it. I say goodbye.
>Book it home so I am not murdered by black kids in raven hoodies.
>I realize I can never tell my fiance this, for she won't believe me.
>Feather's fucking got lead based paint.
>Toss that shit out cause lead based paint jesus christ

I'm fairly sure this was a gang. It had to be.

File: 1352303998071.jpg-(46 KB, 1024x768, Dumbocrows.jpg)

>>21471315

Well that's rather odd.

>>21471315
That's the most elaborate Dumbo reference I've ever heard of.

>>21471338
I -knew- it was what they were doing, and maybe they were just waiting for a justification to beat the shit out of someone using it, which is why I could just stand there frozen in fear.

I don't want to be beaten up by several black teenagers. It would not be a good day if that happened.

Who the fuck lets black teens watch old racist cartoons.

>>21471315

What's so bad about lead based paint again?

>>21471354
>implying it's racist

>>21471315
hath thou not watched dumbo?

>>21471289
Ghost random encounters are best random encounters.

>>21471357
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lead_paint

Fuuuuck all of those risks

>>21471342
That's the only dumbo reference I've ever of.

I haven't watch that shit since I was like. 6.

>>21471354
would you be scared if it were a bunch of white kids?

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>>21470630

>>21471301

Darn shame.

The friend?

>>21471372
I'd be worried about being yiffed at that point. It wasn't that they're a bunch of black kids. They're black kids in -elaborate hoodies- and referencing goddamn Dumbo. Elaborate outfits often = gangs in urban areas. White kids in elaborate outfits can also = gangs. So yes. I'd still be a little confused and worried.

>>21471380

The friend was a guy in some other city where she normally worked and lived, we never met.

Only people I met was her, her parents, and various peoples when she took me around to nearby places and towns for that week and a bit.

>>21470591
Then there comes this guy to ruin it...

>be working in DC for a year
>walking home from the bar at around 1am
>still in suit and tie from work
>approached by a homeless man
>oh shit I'm gonna get mugged
>homeless guy says in a very erudite british accent "My lord, the hour of our victory is near. Our people are everywhere and await the sign."
>I stare at him blankly for a few moments in silence
>he shouts "Hail Satan!" and runs off into an alleyway
I can only imagine I was mistaken for someone else. Kinda glad I don't live there anymore.

>>21471171

>Pretty extensive family history of mental illness
>Never see anything fun, like these stories
>Just figures in my peripheral vision when exhausted, sometimes hear voices of people I haven't spoken to in years when settling down to sleep

Feels bad, man.

File: 1352304807706.png-(84 KB, 299x229, Now that's what I call...(...).png)

>>21470115
Well, at least he wasn't wearing a faintly 1800s British trench coat and metal mask, Else I'd tell you to watch out for Springrazors.

>>21471315
Philly is nutters.

I was there with some urbex/larp bros awhile back. We were wandering through some abandon factories and whit and we find the basement and its real dark. We flip on flashlights andthen someone started yelling at us about how we should know better than to light the place up.
We've encountered hobos and shady shot before crawling around abandoned places but when the guy came into our light he was like an angry hobomoleperson with shriveled eyes and skin and a cleaver made of nightmares.
His eyes must have adjusted and figured out we weren't who he thought we were and got real quiet and told us to leave.
We hastily left but I swear I felt like something was watching us the rest of the time we were in the city.

If anyone remembers about the female rogue who stole my wallet back off a male rogue I have a follow up

>be at work, night shift at BP

>girl comes in, fills up and pays

>stops at entrance, turns around and asks "are you anon?"

>"y-yea, why?"

>"oh no reason"

>walks out of store, smiling

>okay.jpg

>find an hour late when I finish an envelope on my car windscreen with her name, number and saying I owe her a dinner and a dance for getting my wallet back

Well fuck /tg/, do I risk it?

>>21471409
He called you lord and yelled hail Satan.
Clearly you're the vessel for the evil scourage here to destroy the world but don't know it yet.

>>21471468
yes/continue?

I remember my first CR1 encounter.

When I was little, I grew up in Malaysia because of my fathers work. It's a pretty hot and tropical place around South-East Asia if you're not aware.

So, I'm about 7 years old at the time, and we're on a weeks trip to a place called Club Med. It's a resort style of place on one of the nicer islands, comes with swimming pools and entertainment, watersports and all that jazz.
It was breakfast one morning and I'd grabbed some blueberry pancakes, which were only on for that day and I fuckin' love my blueberry pancakes. One of my friends called me away from the table I was at a moment to introduce me to one of her new buddies. I'd barely given my name when all of a sudden there is a loud crashing sound from behind us.

Our tables plates were all over the floor and THAT fucker was sitting there.
That fucking monkey.
He had my pancakes in his little paws and just stared me down for a good 5 seconds.

We broke into a chase. I didn't really want to eat the pancakes anymore, but I was going to murder that hairy little bastard for ruining the first blueberry pancakes I'd gotten in 2 years.

We crashed through the dining hall, across the announcement hall stage, through the pool area and partways down the beach.
By this point, 3 other monkeys had joined him on the flanks and they to had manged to rob off with some unsuspecting innocents breakfast.

We took a sharp right into the hotel area and they managed to get themselves lost in the hallway.
I had them cornered.
But, they fancied their chances against a 7 year old, with their numerical superiority. They stopped running and charged me.

>>21471452
Yeah. We've got seriously organized homeless. Another horrifying story.

>Market Street and like near 50th
>Lots of homeless.
>Some bitch with her heels and spanx and purse.
>There's a goddamn acapella hobo group trying to get change. That's not new.
>She stops to listen for like, ten seconds
>Long enough
>Two little kid hobos strike from goddamn between parked cars, acapella stops and descends with them
>Loses her purse, phone, and apparently some jewelery
>They scatter like roaches, and I watch this from across the street
>Run over to help screaming black lady

Philly Hobos. Secret Military

File: 1352305363814.png-(371 KB, 480x600, What.png)

>>21471270
I... What?
Whaat?!
Anyways, props to you- did you pull it off?

>>21471468
vaguely know the story, but plz repost

File: 1352305408919.jpg-(85 KB, 624x484, 1981464_5823_625x1000.jpg)

>>21471478


I was absolutely devastated by their speed as they started jumping around and flanking me. Several bit my arms and shoulders, and one my leg. Managed to grab one and hurl it out the window.
One of the others followed after it in panic.

The other two started to slowed down and I was able to grab it and bury it in the dirty laundry basket that the cleaning lady had left.
The last one broke off and fled down the hall, where I decided to leave it because I was tired and bleeding a bit.

They didn't have much loot...the pancakes had fallen apart during the chase.

Needed to get so many shots after we got back....still worth it....

>>21471468
do it bro

>>21471468

Post the original story mate.

And what the fuck are you waiting for.

Text her / call her. Ask her out.

>>21471289
Was she especially tall? Yeah, you're gonna die.
May've already gone down before you could read this.

>>21471409
British hobo-demonoogist spies?

>>21471468
You're risking more by NOT going for it, dude. She already knows where you work and live.

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>>21471478
>>21471498

Northern Brother.

And I've learnt along time ago after cornering a monkey with several of my bros. Do not fuck with them monkeys.

Especially when they start baring fangs the length of your fingers.

>>21471468
Man up, and do it.

>>21471413
>figures in my peripheral vision when exhausted, sometimes hear voices of people I haven't spoken to in years when settling down to sleep
Those are perfectly normal experiences, not signs of insipient mental illness.

My brother had a friend that got really drunk once and woke up on svalbard with a job.

>>21471468
You DO owe her.

>>21471534
They're fucking delicious once you get the tops off, though.

>>21471497
>>21471503
Repost:

>chilling at uni library on couch late night, catching up on some readings

>me sprawled out on one end bag on the ground at the other

>random guy sits down at the end of my couch, even though there's 4 other free ones

>I give him a puzzled look, shrug and go back to my readings

>about 30 seconds later he jumps up and starts walking briskly to the exit

>bumps into this cute blonde who was over by the check out, doesn't even apologize and just walks out

>girl walks over and sits on the end of my couch

>okay, what the shit is going on

>close my book, before I can open my mouth she hands me my wallet, saying "you should be more careful with your stuff"

>winks and walks off

Never saw her again in the last year and a half. The girl who came in had red hair and it was short. Kinda looked like the same girl but I can't be sure...should I /tg/? Just happened a few hours ago

>>21471468
Didn't you already meet her again in the middle of doodling during some lecture? Or am I remembering some other guy?

>>21471570
Yes. A thousand times yes.

>simply BoPBus

Catcha's agreeing.

>>21471548
This is also very true
>>21471531
That's very true...might be best to get in before she starts taking levels in Assassin, or god forbid, Shadow Dancer

>>21471570
Go for it. Worst that happens is you get embroiled in an inner conflict within a thieves' guild.

>>21471570

Do it.

Do it you stupid shit.

You owe her and if shes free shes a keeper.

You'll never lose shit again.

File: 1352306225764.jpg-(45 KB, 674x547, sbahr2.jpg)

>>21471468
OF COURSE

Why are you even ASKING

Did you fucking TOKE up on a JOINT to even ASK SOMETHING like that

>>21471578
Nope, never saw this girl again. I'm not all that good of an artist so I don't doodle, especially not in public!

File: 1352306264965.jpg-(49 KB, 700x504, coconutmonkey.jpg)

>>21471550
>They're fucking delicious once you get the tops off, though.
God damn it, captcha.

>>21471612

Well you know what they say about Malaysian politicians and coconuts...

>>21471468

Don't, you're just gonna hurt yourself

>>21471409
Why didn't you follow him? This was your chance, man. You blew it.

>>21471618
You can't eat just one?

>>21471468

The fuck is wrong with you?
OF COURSE YOU DO.

The fact that you are considering not doing this baffles me.

>walk home late at night after karate
>go through alley
>air vent thing starts making noise
>crap a car. Sure it's a cryssalid
>guy in dark hoodie with a backpack tumbles out
>stare at each other
>"evening"
>"evening"
>walk on
Later I heard that place was robbed
Lucky me that it was a CN rogue and not NE

>>21471468
>Thieves guild member saves your wallet from low level goon
>Then meets you, leaves a note demanding payment for her services in a dinner and dance
>Even ASKING if you should do it

Seriously, you won't get another girl like that, man. Someone who can see someone else lift a wallet, then counterlift it off of the thief takes talent. You won't get another invitation to the thieves guild.

>all the anons going DO IT FAGET
inb4 >>21471468 gets his kidneys stolen

>>21471570

Go for it. If you don't I'll cut off your ring finger.

>>21471540
closet schizophrenic detected

>>21471020
>2012
>Not training with real swords

Laughingwhores.jpg

>>21471692
Worth it. You only need one anyway.

File: 1352307413543.jpg-(83 KB, 460x288, pills.jpg)

>>21471697
>eyes playing tricks when exhausted
>blurring between thoughts and perceptions while transitioning between waking and dreaming
Yeah, those are totally symptoms of brain disease.

Everyone line up for your candy!

>>21471598
This.

Become the rogue /tg/ can never be. For us.

>>21471468
She is going to steal your wallet AGAIN at the date. You fool.

File: 1352307660288.jpg-(93 KB, 641x481, Descartes2.jpg)

>>21471468

Give her her desired remuneration.

>>21471773
>Bring a fake wallet
>only thing in it is a slip of paper with your number on it
Two can play at this game.

>>21471790
>Number
>Not a "Nice try" with a "I want in on the thieves guild" on the back

>walking home from kendo at the campus rec center
>still in the hakama, obi, and armor.
>it's like 10pm and I live 2 blocks off campus
>take short cut through yards because its fuck cold out side.
>fuckitsdark.png
> hear a gun shot and a large crash
>guy in all black with a balcalva jumps through a tall window followed by a college student with a double barrel shot gun...
>thief runs at me with knife
>with out thinking, pull out a suburito (heavy boken) from shinai bag and strike him on his left collar bone while doing my scream
>hear a loud crack
>he screams and goes to the ground
>i look at the confused student
>pretend to sheath my boken, give a small bow and turn around and walk away.

>in the following days in the local paper, an article read local samurai halts home robbery.

was I the random encounter?

I was waiting for a late train, right? Wind was cold and cut like daggers but the train station shielded me from it, so it was fine. Frustrated with having to wait for so long I sat down next to a trash bin and sighed.
"hello" the bin said to me.
This was scary enough on its own and the poor light in there did not help!
Then it materialized a grizzly face with wild beard and a single eye! Verily, it was the devil come to claim me at last!
But no, it was just a hobo with an eyepatch.

I got out a bottle of whiskey from my luggage and we shared it while he regaled me of tales from his life. He had been in the foreign legion, poached bear in sweden, smuggled various illegal stuff in singapore where he also learned a machete based martial art and he was a mercenary in Africa where he allegedly ran off with some diamonds not belonging to him.
He got married and bought a business, which his wife stole from him when she divorced him and ran off with the lawyer.
Now he was, and this was his exact words, plotting his revenge.
My train arrived, so I wished him luck in his quest for revenge and as I boarded the train he shouted that I forgot my whiskey but I shouted back that he could keep it. We waved and that was that.
Maybe he was making up tales for some hooch, maybe it was all true. either way, I had the feeling that I met a real Player Character that day

>>21471790
>Go to pull out wallet to pay for dinner
>It's the fake wallet
>Inside is a new slip of paper saying, "Don't cheat me."
>She pulls out your wallet and pays
>Waiter laughs
>Sobbing

>>21471806
just bring a fake wallet with 20bux in it.

>>21471798
you was a liar.
If it was in the paper it would surely be on their Webpaper too. link us, if you are so great

>>21471798
You are the random encounter the city deserves.

>>21471811
>It's empty other than the slip of paper

She's really good at her theivery.

>>21470556
>>21470617
btw these guys aparently didn't just save this guy.
Charges were brought up against them and like over a dozen people came to there defense because they were all saved by them.

fuck yeah

>>21471814
I am on my phone, so you can if you want.
University of Cincinnati paper. I don't remember what it is/was called. It happened january 2005.

>>21471834
Actually, it was bullshit. The guy admitted it was bullshit later on. Never happened.

File: 1352308497525.jpg-(34 KB, 480x386, i-want-to-believe.jpg)

>>21471852
Why you gotta be that way man.

>>21471056
what was his name, anon. Maybe we could pull up some arrest records?

>>21471840
I go to UC, we have a kendo club?

>>21471540
not taht guy, i see figures when i'm ok and relaxed

>>21471056
this wouldn't be him, would it?
http://arrestfiles.org/publicinfo/carlos-lee-bishop

>>21471239
NSA DOESN'T HAVE FIELD AGENTS YOU STUPID FUCK

>>21471478
Christ fuck monkeys

>Moving through the jungle as part of a training exercise
>Very clearly told during the briefing do not mess with the monkeys
>Six of the fuckers fling shit at me for no fucking reason
>blast one of them with my .45
>The rest escape into the trees
>God damn it, Anon I told you not to shoot the fucking monkeys
>Get ambushed by even more shit flinging monkeys for the next three hours.

Jesus these things are like a plague. No one escaped from that not covered in monkey shit. Worse is that they'll roll it up in leaves and twigs and rock before throwing it at you and it hurts like fuck.

>>21470115

>Wandering around Columbus
>Down in a seedier location
>Purchase some beers, drinking on a stoop
>See group of leather jacketed midgets walk into an alley
>Hear scuffle
>Go around the corner
>Midgets beating on another midget

Damn halfling protection rackets.

>College winter trip
>Ski resort in Virginia
>Late, place is gonna close
>Figure to head to the top of the mountain, and get one last ski down before closing
>Get on the lift with some other dude from the trip
>On the lift for like 20 minutes, nearing the top
>The fucking lift just stops
>Just hanging there for like half an hour, now totally dark and really cold
>When the lights of the place start to go out, guy says he's not gonna wait here all night
>Despite telling him not to, jumps off the fucking ski lift
>Didn't take his skis off, even from up on the lift hear a sickening rip/snap and screaming
>Try to yell to him, figure out what to do
>When he stops responding, take my skis off and follow after him

And that's the story of how I had to carry an unconscious guy down a Virginia mountain in a snowy winter in the pitch black. I thought I was gonna get eaten by bears or something.

File: 1352308912789.jpg-(59 KB, 540x396, 1344927715096.jpg)

>>21471877
Jesus christ man, I was just putting out random government agencies. You don't have to get so mad. Maybe you should calm down a bit.

>>21471907
KNOW YOUR SHIT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SPEAK SHIT ASSFUCKEE.

THAT IS NOT A TYPO. YOU BOTTOM, BITCH.

>I've never had anything worthy of being called a random encounter happen to me.
>Nor have I done anything worthy of being called a random encounter myself.

Someone post that comic with the tarrasque and how "boring people live boring lives".

File: 1352309207407.jpg-(204 KB, 500x333, CM-carrie-mathison-320330(...).jpg)

>>21471917

>Guy watches 24, The Agency, believes he is an analyst

Sorry somebody offended your waifu.

>>21471877

Jesus man, calm the fuck down.

>>>/v/

>>21471917
did you just quit smoking or are you always this easily aggravated?

File: 1352309679948.jpg-(10 KB, 212x240, holy fuck.jpg)

>sit on bus
>a wizard enters
>points wand at the bus-card thing
>PLING
>mfw
Best day ever

File: 1352309901894.jpg-(508 KB, 600x2145, 1351128906672.jpg)

>>21471926
I got you bro.

File: 1352309912024.jpg-(85 KB, 419x800, 1344927528694.jpg)

>>21471917
You're a little mad there, son. You shouldn't get mad about me not getting the National Science Agency's science stuff mixed up, or the Frederal Intelligence Department or the Central Intelligence Bureau. It's not a big deal hombre.

>Sitting in the bus,talking with a friend.
>old guy walks in, stares at me for 10 seconds
>"I saw you in my dreams, you fought with the lion and withe bear"
>walks along, sits down

>>21472078

>Walking down the street
>Waylaid by a hairy white gay guy and his leashed housecat.
>Dies

The life of a Modern lvl. 1 Commoner is fucking intense.

File: 1352310265007.png-(177 KB, 1818x1352, BodenIsFuckingScaryPlace.png)

Don't really know if this qualifies as a random encounter or just random /x/ related stuff. Told this in a /k/reepy thread a while back and someone screencapped it.

>>21472078
lannisters?

>>21472078
Did you immediately ask him "Did I win?".
Because you should have.

File: 1352310354207.jpg-(220 KB, 620x711, bbb pic.jpg)

There was this one time in college...

>That bag of rats
>Those bottles
>THOSE BOTTLES

>live on southside of Chicago
>get in fight with girlfriend, decide to walk it off
>don't really think about where I'm going, wind up getting mugged
>getting the shit kicked out of me by two or three black guys in an alley, can't see straight, too much blood
>hear grunts, dull thuds, see giant shadow looming over me, reflexively wince and curl up tighter
>feel hand on my shoulder
>gigantic, bald Swedish guy is there, in full Priest outfit.
>goddamnhuge.jpg had beaten the shit out of one of the guys, other two are running away
>gives me once over, sees no serious wounds, takes me out for coffee
>talk about girlfriend, figure shit out

Father Olaf, thank you.

File: 1352310396821.png-(46 KB, 1304x810, CatVSCommoner.png)

Not mine but screencapped from a random encounter thread waaaay back

> Live in Australia, the bad part. 12 years old.
> Young kid staying up past my bed time.
> Still 100% dark, turn off computer and decide to go for a walk.
> Don't know why, just walk.
> As i'm walking around my suburb i hear some fighting and shit, the usual for Nerang.
> Pitch black darkness as i finally come to a park about 1km away from where i started.
> Sit down and have a rest as three big bikies race past me a few times every few minutes.
> Eventually they stop and their lights go off, still black as fuck.
> Stay sitting in the little park gazebo as i can see them walking towards me, brick shitting status engaged..
> Menacing look as 3 overweight 6'0+ bikies look over at me.
> Continue walking directly at me before stopping and putting 2 dollars to start up the community BBQ thing.
> One rips out some sausages and throws them on the BBQ, the others crack open some beer and start laughing.
> After a few minutes i get up to leave, one of them offers me a snag.
> "T-thanks!"
> As i'm walking home they ride past and offer me a lift, "These streets can be dangerous, kid."
> Take them up as i'm like half an hour away from home still.
> 2 minutes later i'm home and safe, wave goodbye to the nice guys that gave me food and took me home.

I later asked my parents what a Fink was and they freaked out asking where i learnt it, i decided not to tell them the whole story, but i found out later from my older brother that those three guys were in the neighbourhood because a drug dealer wasn't paying them or something. Probably stole the sausages from his house.

Fuckin' Nerang man.

>>21472097
Na. I was confused for a second, then he already was at the other end of the bus. And we seem to have large amounts of weird and/or insane people in my city. Such as that girl who walked up to me, crossed her fingers and screamed "Vade retro, Satanas!".

>>21470683
Damn... now I wish I was a wizard

>>21471056
I was thinking that was more some RE bullshit

>>21471105
Did you bang?

>>21471144
Cool story, too bad it's fake :(

>TFW you're getting too jaded to enjoy the overly elaborate, obvious untruths of a RLRE thread

Feels bad man

I actually WAS the encounter, and met another encounter.

>Going back from school
>Put a gasmask on
>Some kids laugh it off, as I walk past them
>Go into the poor part of the city
>A lonely girl is sitting on the sideway
>I decide to go near her and see her reaction to my gasmask
>She looks up slowly
>"Why...why do you have a gasmask on?"
>"It is who I am. How I am."
>"I see. Where will you go?"
>"...."
>"Do you wanna talk?"
>"Some day"
>I walk off

Weirdest conversation of my life. It's like we were both aware of how dramatic we could make this and both tried our hardest.
It helped that I was wearing a hood too, with all black clothing.
Looked like a cross between the grim reaper and a stalker.

>>21471871
I go to UC as well. Still looking for a 4e group.

>>21472177
>>21471798

Being the encounter is so much fun.

> Bored at home, get on a bus and go to local themepark with my year long pass.
> Fuck around go on some rides before getting ready to leave around mid day.
> Play one of the shitty carny games for 5 bucks, get a stuffed toy.
> On my way out i decide to visit the tigers and wildlife and shit.
> Quiet winter day with nearly no one around, i decide to sing a song and dance around.
> Start spinning and jumping around because meth is a hell of a drug whilst singing Micheal Buble. Poorly.
> Stop spinning and realize i'm standing in front of this teenage girl about my age sitting in the corner of the backmost part of the themepark just chilling.
> Stand frozen looking at her with her looking at me, clutching a stuffed animal.
> A few minutes pass before i stop and scream "OHAIO GOZAI-IMASUUUU~!"
> Take a sumo pose lifting my leg up high and slamming it down before bringing out the stuffed panda
> She blinks, takes it and whispers something.
> Didn't hear, didn't care, i started sprinting singing Kung-Fu fighting.

That was a good day. If i recall she was pretty hot but like i said i was whacked the fuck out on all kinds of shit that day.

>>21472136
You're the case of Weirdness Magnet.

>>21471879
If I die I want to be reincarnated as a monkey

>>21471901

That ended differently than how I thought it would've.

I was expecting sloppy makeouts on the ski lift

>>21472007
OH SNAP

>>21472113
>Priest
>commit physical violence

pick one

>>21472245
I do not have a reaction picture sufficient to convey the grimace this put on my face.

>>21472183
I've never played 4e before but i wouldn't mind joining a group.
I'm >>21471871 by the way.

File: 1352311758085.jpg-(14 KB, 250x150, you cant be serious.jpg)

>>21472283
>christian priests not kicking ass for the lord

>>21472118
>bro tier biker druggies

What

>>21471874
>race: White
>a Hispanic guard.
>NOPE

A while ago I was approached by an old man in the streets of my hometown (a rather small place of about 40, 000 souls in southern Sweden) who greeted me. Having no bloody clue of who he was, I paused for a second. He looked perfectly innocent: suit without a tie, a laptop bag and no odd physical features. After he's greeted me, he asks me how I think the world is doing right now. I reply that I think it's doing OK, at least where we live. After this, the man switched over to English, for some damned reason - and not your average old-Swede-English, but more akin to a Southern US accent. He then begins to describe, very calm and collected, how this year is the beginning of the apocalypse and how only those of true faith could hope to stave it off. Very detailed descriptions and stuff. I just stood there, unsure what to do or even say. After ranting (I dislike calling it that, but that's closest approximation I can get in English) for about ten minutes, the man hands me a note and thanks me for my time. He then leaves. As I read the note, my confusion increases. It looked like a bill of some kind, from a business in town. The things that were on it though... Huge amounts of money for the "Principal Object" and something else in French. And when I say huge amounts, I'm talking about several billion Swedish crowns (7 crowns = $1).

I have no fucking clue what happened there.

I love you guys.
Sage to not bring this thread closer to the doom of autosage.

>>21472177
>not talking with the girl and developing a lasting meaningful relationship

stay wizard tg

>>21472177
Should've stayed, anon.

>>21472320

Have you ever speedballed meth son? Nigga i had to see that tiger show.

>>21472336
You could've fucked

>>21472308
Describe what he said, man. We have to prepare.

>waiting at bus stop after game to head home
>guy who looks a bit drunk comes up to me and asks if I can spare any socks
>I say "no, sorry"
>he wanders into a nearby bar
>hear cursing from inside the bar
>look in
>guy is having some kind of fit
>falling over
>heads out
>start pacing back and forth very agitated
>he wanders back and forth yelling "help" and "murder"
>call 911 because dude obviously needs help
>dude goes back to bus stop
>agitated as fuck
>in come 5 people dressed up as superheroes
>form cordon
>tell them I called 911
>they ask me to stand further back than I am
>fuck that I was here watching him for longer
>bus comes by and stops about 30 feet further down
>get on

Funny thing is, I knew these guys (not well, but still), they had stopped by the game store I was running game at that night. Mostly cool guys.

Closest thing I've got:

>sitting on wall waiting for the bus
>late night, no one around
>start singing Riding a Black Unicorn while listening w/ headphones
>really get in to chorus
>get a feeling someones watching
>turn around
>chick standing there, just watching me

Not only do I not have REs, myself being the RE sucks.

One time, I was walking home from work, and I passed by a bus stop. Same one I always pass by on the way home, for 800 days and counting.

This time was different though. There was a motherfucking plague doctor standing in it. Beak mask, walking stick, wide rim hat, the whole shabang. He payed me absolutely no mind as I walked past, and when I had a double take and looked back, he turned to look at me and tilted his head. I started backing away very quickly and then powerwalked home.

Nobody else saw him, and he hasn't appeared again, but I still walk on the other side of the street now.

>>21472348
Well, the usual stuff. Thing is, he never once mentioned what the bloody fuck the true faith WAS. His version of the apocalypse mostly relied on human error to awaken the angry Earth, as we'd already seen with Sandy and the droughts in China and so forth. Very nature-focused, not much overt supernatural things. Think more of a very "green" apocalypse where nature strikes back (or well, according to him, the angry Earth's spirit). Can't remember everything, since he's obviously crazy, and I really have more important stuff to keep in mind than that. Fitted nicely into the thread, though.

>>21472358
Now, did you just sheepishly turn your music off and sit there, or did you jump up, grab the nearest person and start dancing.
This is where a weirdo on the bus ends and a RE begins.

>>21472345
And missed out on seeing tigers? What are you, some kind of faggot?

File: 1352312646399.jpg-(9 KB, 200x232, DRUIDS.jpg)

>>21472384
Oh fuck, I know what's coming now.

>>21472393
You could have fucked the tigers while she watched. Or watched the tigers fuck her. Or fucked her while watching tigers.
Shit man, think outside the box a little.

My grandfather's got a good one he likes to tell us.

>be walking around at night on his grandmothers property as a kid
>got a flashlight because it's dark, got a rifle because she lives out in the country and he's got some experience hunting by then
>walks a while
>sees pair of eyes glowing at him in the dark at about his height
>shine flashlight in that direction
>can't see body, just eyes
>doesn't shoot, taught not to because he doesn't know what it is
>eyes turn away
>follows
>sees eyes again
>still no body definition with the flashlight
>repeat
>eyes turn away one final time
>never see them again

To this day he has no idea what it could have been.

>>21472385
Well, I did jump off the wall and introduce myself, but that's about it.

I did say the encounter sucked.

>>21472407

> Angry /tg/ neckbeard speedballing drugs.
> Leaping into a tiger cage with a timid girl holding a stuffed panda.
> Gutteral screeches as he fucks the chick in front of tigers and onlookers.

Now THAT is a random encounter.

>Be a SAR Tech (if you dont know its the Canadian Militaries Search and Rescue
>doing some jump practice that day
>jump from the C130
>everythings normal
>ohshit cross wind
>end up landing in the tree's
>oh thank god, im not impaled
>hanging from the tree as a civ walks under me
>cut my line and drop right behind him
>the scream of terror and look of shock on his face was priceless

>>21472402
No, I know the local druids' lodge. Pretty nice guys.

Not exactly the best or most unlikely random encounter but...
> Be driving through Castro district in SF with hombre.
> Stop at red light.
> Four guys dressed in drag as a policewoman, Marie Antoinette, Dr. Frank-N-Furter, and something else walk past us.
> All have props (i.e. Marie has umbrella, Frank has an ice pick D:)
> Policewo-man stops in the middle of the street, looks straight at my friend, and points his/her baton coyishly at him.
> Continues walking while friend tries to hide face and lock doors.
> I laugh my ass off all the way home.

Being the Castro it wasn't too surprising. Still, got to love SF REs.

>>21472283
Hilarious.
Remove Papal scum, to you too.

>>21472283

>implying they would stand idly by as somebody was beat in front of them

Not everybody is as CN as you

>>21471570
Sounds like a setup. Sounds like this poster is gonna get murdered.

>Shows up for dance
>Gets fucking robbed/raped/sacrificed to Baal.

>>21472473
>Baal
>not Mask or Cyric

>>21471468
>>21471570
CALL HER!
CALL HER NOW!

>>21472484
Shit tier gods.

>>21472508
Baal is a shittier god bro, he got killed by Cyric using Mask

>>21471490
Not military, urban druids.

They never go indoors, they self organized in small cliques with their own pseudo-legal system that everyone enforces, don't often associate with anyone outside their own group, children are left to raise themselves with a small measure of aid from the community (as is the most inherently natural way).

>>21472517
>>21472508
>>21472484

>>21472473

I meant the real world golden calf god, not the D&D god.

>>21472562
oh........huh.....

>>21472562
>>21472568
Well, this IS /tg. Easy mistake to make.

>be in second grade
>have neighbor that hates me
>one day during recess 4 other boys come up to me
>all have knives (pocket, kitchen)
>get stabbed three times but I beat up two of them before teachers got there
>get suspended for a week
>the two i beat up got expelled
>neighbor went to juvie and has to repeat 2nd grade

I'm pretty lucky I've always been bigger than other people my age

>be 12 year old
>walk around with my dog
>3 guys, around my age, com from the nearby village
>attack me,throw stones at me
>stab after my dog with a stick
>rage
>they flee, calling me a coward as they run
>I stand there, holding my sides, because I'm laughing so hard

The closest I normally get to random encounters is having strange, somewhat shabby older men try to strike up conversations with me.

One walked alongside me on the street and told me that we should all hold our heads high and believe in ourselves. He often could not do so himself, but he thought that someone so young must not succumb to life's torments so easily.

The second ambushed me near my apartment's door and asked me if I was interested in music; I suppose he might have been a neighbour. Didn't get much of a conversation there as he was clearly very drunk.

A third one, in a nearby restaurant, stared at my hands and asked me if I was a hacker; apparently I had a hacker's hands. Shrug.

Also, I was on a train once, in the same closed four-people coupe (this was in Russia; apparently Western trains are different and have smaller ones?) as a local businessman. He was quite nice and civil to everyone in the coupe, but occasionally had to viciously chew out various business partners and associates over the phone.

File: 1352315160427.jpg-(64 KB, 680x680, 1325761695401.jpg)

>Go to Egypt with my family
>A man comes up to us with 3 camels
>Offers to trade me all 3 in exchange for my sister
>Freak her out by going along with it for a while

>Sorry sis, but look at how well groomed they are! Look, I can trade these camels and make enough profit to buy you back tomorrow. Don't look at me like that.

>Crazy_Hassan.jpeg

>>21472688
Were they slightly used?

This one happened a while ago:

>Hungry one night, decide to walk to my local pizza joint
>Grab a few slices, sit down to enjoy my meal
>Finish my food, have a very odd feeling that I should order more, even though I'm not hungry
>Order a pie to go, start heading home
>Feel like I'm being followed
>Notice three guys behind me, keeping pace
>ohgodimgoingtogetmugged.jpg
>Suddenly hear a howl, fuck mothering coyote walks out of the woods
>Bears teeth at guys, they bolt
>Coyote turns to me, shows teeth
>Open pizza box, toss on ground in front of it
>Wolfs down the pizza, walks back into woods

Every time I go to that pizza place, I order an extra slice and toss it in the woods where I was saved. Sometimes, I'll hear a howl as I walk away

>>21472303
Hispanic isn't a race, you dumbshit.

>>21472707
Yes it is, you beaner.

>>21471315
7.5/10 Good work.

>>21472707

This was as mystifying to me as it is to you, but apparently it is officially a race in America.

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>>21471255

>>21472699
>coyote
>bears
>wolfs

Are you doing this on purpose?

Anyway cool story.

>>21472699
GUARDIAN SPIRIT AWOO WOO WOOO

File: 1352315768747.jpg-(210 KB, 600x574, wtfkirby.jpg)

>On date with girlfriend
>Waiter drops off check
>Oh shit I forgot my wallet
>Girlfriend didn't bring hers because she thought I was paying
>Crazy old guy who reeks like ass drops $50 on the table
>Hastily try to thank him
>"Just spread on the good deed, m'boy"
>Mfw I just met a Paladin

>Have to get some milk and flour for my mom
>Go to the local grocery store
>Grab the milk and flour, have no bag, so I'm just carrying those in my hands
>I walk through an alleyway
>Suddenly a guy with a guitar jumps in front of me
>Notices I'm carrying milk
>Says he has lots of cats and needs that milk for a second
>I give him the milk and follow him around the corner
>There's like 5 cats lying on the floor
>"They're sort of sick, so I just give them milk and they're OK. They don't move otherwise."
>The cats are just sleeping, one is yawning
>He pours the milk all over the cats' heads
>They run the fuck away
>"See? They were just sick"
>I nod and go home
>Mom asks where the fuck's all the milk
>I can't even give an explanation

>>21471468
I remember that story, anon. The one where you were sitting on a couch and some guy stole your wallet? You must do it and tell us fa/tg/uys about it. Learn her mysterious gypsy ways and become a high leveled rogue in the process.

>>21472007
http://vimeo.com/27832247

>>21472312
bump limit

>>21472595

>get suspended for self defense

THIS is why zero tolerance is bullshit.

>>21472699

Hey, I remember you from a previous thread. Story hasn't changed since then, either.

>>21472595
>Kids come at you with lethal weapons
>Defend yourself
>Reprimanded and punished for defending yourself against people trying to cause bodily harm to you

What the fuck if wrong with people these days. What were you supposed to do? Run from a mob of 5 people with knives? Everyone knows how that'll turn out.

>>21472699
>Coyote
>Bear
>Wolf

I feel like you're trying to troll me...

>>21472837
Yeah, that happened to me a few times in school. Kid picks a fight, we both get suspended. When I asked the school principle what I should have done instead, they said to run and get a teacher or security. I looked at her and responded with "how the fuck do you want me to do that when I'm surrounded?"

>>21472877

Seriously. When I have kids, I will chew out every single school my kids go to that do that shit.

It doesn't solve any fucking thing.

>>21472732
A coyote is a wolf, and he bears his teeth ("to bear" is a verb)

I imagine a couple of years from now if this place still exists, the little kids who watch my significant other sword-fight are going to talk about it here

File: 1352317028405.jpg-(24 KB, 650x366, Cyclops.jpg)

>>21472751

I have a slightly cat related one;

>Allergic to cats
>Never fond of the loveless little beasts anyway
>One day my Dog just walks in with a Cat, holding it by the scruff of it's neck
>Puts it in front of me as if he expects me to know what to do with it
>Confused, and annoyed my face is going to explode into redness for the next 3 hours
>Get some gloves on and pick the little thing up
>It's gotta be just a few weeks old, tiny as hell
>soft white fur
>It's got a damaged right eye
>Find myself thinking it's actually pretty cute
>It lightly bats me on the nose with it's paw and meows
>Take the little guy to the vet and get his eye treated

>Still have my little Cyclopes to this day
>Never had an allergic reaction to him
>Still have NO idea where my dog found him
>They still sleep together to his day at the end of the bed

>>21472901

Actually, the correct spelling for that meaning is 'bare' (as in, to uncover).

>>21472912
But a wolf also bears his teeth.

>>21472923
naw, that would be "bring to bear"
As in, the wolf could bare its teeth, or it could bring its teeth to bear.

File: 1352317226544.png-(51 KB, 767x480, D__aww_by_NansCLJC.png)

>>21472908

Oh lordy, my heart

>>21472923

In context, it was bares. But it's a common enough mistake.

File: 1352317252136.gif-(567 KB, 245x200, my feelings.gif)

>>21472908

>>21472923
It's like a wolf ate a bear, and that bear is trying to bite at you.

>>21472908
Had a dog that did that with baby rabbits. Would just bring them inside, set them in front of us and look like the proudest son of a bitch in the world. Wouldn't hurt them at all.

>>21472960
So, mouth-in-mouth thingy like in Alien?

>>21472113
>Swedish
>beat the shit out of anyone

>>21472908
Sir, you found the reincarnation of Ugly.

>On the way back from ninjutsu training with my weapons in a bag, among which is a bo staff.
>Cut across the park to get home fast.
>See a bunch of 12-13 year old kids bullying a younger kid, pushing him over and stealing his rucksack.
>Just as I'm about to head over and try and sort it out they throw his bag into a tree, where it gets stuck.
>That kind of tree that's impossible to climb, no branches for the first 10 feet.
>The younger kid is in floods of tears.
>Drop my kit, take out my bo staff and stride over.
>"And just what do you think you're doing?" in my best this-shit-just-got-real voice.
>One kid tries to throw a rock at me, so I jab him in the stomach. The ruffians scatter.
>I nudge the younger guy's bag off the branch, catch it one-handed and give it back to him.
>"Here you go kid, have a nice day."
>Grab my stuff and head home, leaving him staring after me in shock.
>Since then I've seen him a few times walking home from school carrying a big branch.

So proud.

File: 1352317803483.png-(13 KB, 202x184, 1329394782604.png)

>>21472985

>Swedish
>Implying they wouldn't submit and start crying "SO SORRY" before offering their attacker have sex with their wife to apologies for slavery