thread lurker reporting in

>>21721957

HAH! As if!

More like another elf orphan OC...

/tg/ sure does love its hated race orphans.

The more I think about her, the more I think that she'd be a shaman.

Maybe a mix of warlock and shaman, all dragon all the time?

Much rather would talk about epic battles between her and Sandwich.

>>21722099

Damn, kobolds are self-absorbed little fucks. I mean, yeah, they worship dragons, but the egos that these things have...

>>21721942

You should add that her old family was a line of Tiefling hunting assassin elves.

>>21722099
>Smoothscale
More like Suescale amirite.

>>21722165

Just how /tg/ likes em!

>>21722165

Whoaaaa, someone is using an in game mechanic as a basis for fluff? Shiiiiiit, must be a Sue then

>>21721957

>wonder what anon is talking about
>look it up on suptg
>cringe

Guuuuuh. That's some wish fulfillment right them there.

what I wonder is how she survived in a kobold tribe - I understand that her kobold keepers were likely low on the radar, but what adventuring party doesn't hear tales of an elf child held by monsters and seek her out? Or even accidentally sweep through looking for treasure?

Hell, how did they keep from getting enslaved by the nearby lizardmen/goblins/minogretauroidarkelwarfs?

>>21722223
All about execution, sweetheart.

>>21722416

Luck.

WHICH OF COURSE THEY ALL ATTRIBUTE TO THEIR RIGHTFUL GODDESS!

>>21722416

Good point. The only thing I can think of is that they are already technically enslaved by the dragonborn. Maybe that has something to do with it, like the evil party cleared out other monsters around the swamp already?

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>>21722099

Awesome drawfriend made another of young Smoothscale.

Might be the same guy as the one that made this pic.

Anyway, super kudos.

>>21722718

Yeah, that's me.. Thanks!

>>21722718

For some reason this just reminds me of that one dragonmother girl from Game of Thrones. Probably because dragons.

Bumping.

I don't have any drawing or writing talent, but I do like this concept. Hopefully someone will come along and add more to it?

This idea is amazing. And wonderful. And she must be a /tg/ oc now. Hell, I really want to play her. I'm considering killing off my PC to play her, and he is the most awesome dorf ever.

>utecate ROMANCE

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>>21723174

Probably the only post I have ever seen that has conveyed sarcasm over the internet.

Great keeper, I beseech you hear from my own tongue as it was told to me such of the tale as is not mine whilst you were in the northern marches. I have become afraid. The sea spirits came from the uttermost east, beyond the arch of the sky, wherein the sun is born, to fantastical to be real. The fish wives and the keepers of the eastern marches could not believe their eyes and so sent no word to City, until it was too late. The sea spirits rode on a wooden thing, not unlike a skiff, but comically, impossibly huge. They had chained a great white cloud to a tree so tall it scraped the rim of the sky and forced it to drag them across the great expanse of dead water. Their monstrous thing came so close that its shadow darkens the edge of Swamp. From its heaving bulk the Sea spirits disgorged lesser, mortal, craft that clove Swamps black water. On these they rode their crests the color of dawnlight and their silver scales burnished gold in the light of the sun though their eyes were dark. Their voices boomed, they laughed and cawed in alien tongues and drove their strange skiffs ever closer to City and the thousand white pillars of smoke that bind Swamp and Sky. They moved ever on, as the sun died, and whispered to little stars on poles that shone with silver light and held fires in their hands but did not cook or drink their heat. These were spirits of the sun and the Sky and they could not abide the dark.

They rested by turns and fits and took dried meat and by dawntide they had reached City that is the sacred bond between Swamp and Sky. By this time word had come and a hasty delegation was assembled when they came to ground about the pens where the catfish spawn. The delegation was richly adorned and came bearing honey ants from the furthest west and fine white grubs on plates of burnished gold, and burnt sweet moss and bowed. But these spirits were great indeed and were unimpressed. They laughed hollowly and strode forward, their great grey scales clinking dangerously. The greatest of their number snatched one of the heaping plates and cast its offering into the ponds so that the catfish hissed and roiled. And pointed fervently at the plate. It and its host herded the delegation into City, barking in its strange tongue and laughing, enamored of a serving plate. But strange are the ways of strange spirits. The delegation lead them past the spirulina ponds and the high arches of the outer ring, to the royal road that leads to the ziggurat of skies where dwell those who name the stars, whose blood is bound to fire. Where waited spirit and the covenant of spirit behind the bronze mask of office, for her true face is strange and terrible and known only to we keepers. The sea spirits marveled at her raiment and clucked in their alien tongue though they were taller than she, what is height to a god. They were all of them incapable of true speech. Though at last a messenger spirit managed to stumble through a greeting in the tongue of mother serpent. A tongue long known to the wise from the first days. So in this way they haltingly parlayed, a haughty spirit and a living god. “Give us all you serving plates!” croaked the lesser spirit. The goddess laughed.

>>21722378
It may well be the worst thing in the world.

The first among the host drew its scepter in anger then and smashed the long snout of our ladies holy mask so that it was torn from her and clattered down the steps of the ziggurat to the host below. The spirit gasped then and fell back as it beheld the true face of a living god. Smoothescales golden crest fluttered in the high wind and a mote of blood swelled on her pale lips like dark wine, she spat, forever marking the 174th step as holy. Her eyes were cold as the sky and the sea spirit stood transfixed by her gaze for it must have known then that she was the daughter of a dragon and her tongue was the tongue of a dragon. She spoke then, in the first tongue that cannot be learned or taught, only known. And the silver scales of the haughty spirit shone red in the noon light and soon began to glow. It bellowed and swung its scepter but she slipped beneath and knocked the heavy spirit from its footing so that it tumbled down the face of the ziggurat and smoked and shone cherry red and stank of meat. The rest of its host were taken each in their turn. She turned to me then and smiled “Karuk, bring to me that creature, I have never known a spirits meat, but it smells…divine.”

How I wish that were the end of it. Ever after she has looked with longing to the east. That great accursed thing still hangs dead in the water. Casting its shadow in the eastern marches. It calls to her great keeper, I know it. I have become afraid.

>>21723500
I have no doubts that Harem Knights is singularly the worst thing /tg/ has ever spawned.

This is the most retarded shit.

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>>21723297
>mfw I wasn't being sarcastic

Also I need to get some more faces.

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>>21723537
If you don't like it please hide the thread and move on instead of shitposting.

Dragon this up a bit and you have an 'older' smoothscale

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>>21725144
maybe you should stop necroing a dead thread you faggot

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>>21725144
>applying a good and unrelated drawing to this faggot shit

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>>21725156
Actually more related than you'd think based on the lectures of the early civilization guy from the previous thread.

But hey, now we're just into namecalling and OPINIONS.

>>21725152
/tg/ is a slow board, 'necroing' is perfectly fine.

>>21725252
Necroing is never okay
It's a major faux pas, anywhere. You're preventing threads of no interest to anyone from being deleted by the natural posting on the board

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>>21725252
Forcing some random, well done drawing of an elf to represent your shitty elfbold waifu is not related, no matter how many smug diagrams you whip out, Next youll tell me all slightly tribal elves have been raised by dragon dildo worshiping faggots like this smoothscale one.

>>21725342
>>21725390
Awfully hostile here for no reason aren't we.

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>>21725342

Are you new, retarded, or a troll? Hard to tell these days. Just hide the thread and move on. Necroing isn't really a thing with thread hiding.

>>21725569
Probably just a retard. Seems to be samefagging pretty hard.

This is the part where I depart from the Smoothskin train. It has been an okay-tier ride, no new or interesting input and it still has some potential, but now it is just filled up too much by people who want to make this OC amazing and it will end up awfully Mary-Sue like.

>>21726655
Eh. I'm only familiar with the early works (totally didn't read this thread) but I think it would be tricky to writefag trap skills. It's easy enough to make a trap but I think there's potential for higher concepts like using traps to channel/direct or psychological manipulation/warfare. I think I rather like the idea that Smoothscale has certain analytical and planning capabilities when it comes to trap making and laying.

Is there a term in common usage for elf fags? Elfaboo perhaps?
Incidentally, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekH8av6PUbQ

It can be boring to read and write about extensive preparations, so they usually resolve as just as planned moments. Though I guess you can build suspense with proper placement. Trap focused sorcerer is a weird way to spell artificer but to each their own.

>>21729368

Probably, I don't know.

>>21729427

Yeah I was thinking more narration of effects and just as planned moments. Use of foreshadowing and just enough hints that when it all comes together, you can think (or look) back to see how it did.

Not sure who coined the sorcerer bit. I think it confused some people too.

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>this is my PF/D&D party. It consists of an awakened gorilla cleric, a lizardman master thief, an adorable pseudodragon who is a bungling wizard, and a human fighter who is secretly a flesh golem created by his own intelligent sword

>an elf living with kobolds?! What is this goddamn mary-sue bullshit!

>>21729568
>an elf who is supar speshul for plot reasons living with kobolds her worship her like a goddess who is super good at everything and perfect in ever way
>not a Mary Sue
Whatever you say, 'boldfucker.

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>>21729590

All the super-speshul stuff came from the original OP. The only thing /tg/ is latching onto is an elf living with kobolds. Ooohh man, look out for the powergaming potentiel there...

>>21725342
>>21725152
>>21729368


Wait a bloody minute.

Necroing? Since when has anybody cared about necroing in /tg/ where threads last for weeks and people from all over the wolrd discuss during their time zones?

Well, I have to say that you are the most original newcomer I've seen. Necroing...

>>21729645

Ignore him. He's new, stupid, or a failed and desperate troll. Probably a little of everything.

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>Necroing

>>21729612
Only some people really drum up the 'super speshul' stuff... although in the original thread it was stated that she had potential to be used against good gods quite well.

>>21730002

Well, it was hinted that her blood could do stuff to fey gods, IIRC

>>21730113
>>21730002
Thus precedence for 'specialness' is already there

>>21730124

>implying any character used in mind with 4e isn't super special to begin with.

I'm more concerned with, if the spoiler in the old thread had any truth to it, that Smoothscale and Sandwich were meant to be enemies.

Now, Sandwich is what /tg/ says is an "acceptable" Mary Sue.

How do we get Smoothscale to that same level? I've grown attached to the idea that the two of them are at odds with each other.

>>21721942
All the arguing in this thread aside, I fucking love how /fit/ she looks in this pic.

>>21730193
I think if we just retcon the whole 'dragondad/ last of the bloodline' thing, a girl being abandoned to kobolds and becoming their god/leader person isn't too bad.

Fuck yea! Saw this thread last night at work and it gave me tons of ideas for characters. Glad someone gave us a little doodle.

So so you think she would continue to wear the scales once leaving to adventure and fulfill destiny? When she encounters civilization (assuming she finds someone to translate draconic) would she have the piecemealed scale armor forged into true scale armor or if sorcerous would she have scales incorporated into a cloak/robes. I can see bracers, boots, and pauldrons made of spikes and scales with scales trimming the edges of a hooded cloak with a light leather outfit beneath (can't picture her wearing any silks)

Stop bumping this shitty thread, let it die the death it deserves.

>>21730298
Why would she leave to go adventuring?

This is just another perspective here, but people seem to think she's a Mary Sue because we're treating her like a player character.

I bet if we come from the angle that she is a BBEG or such, no one would mind a elvish sorcerer manipulating a tribe of easily deluded kobold minions in a secluded swamp.

>>21730347
Because destiny.

>>21730357
She's not supposed to be an antagonist? I thought we agreed she, and the tribe, were Lawful Evil, and all NPCs.

eh the whole start of the character was that the dragonborn guy dropped her off in an actual game. I think getting rid of the real game root would take something away from her. Also it gives a reason for the kobolds to raise the kid rather than just eating her or something.

>>21730378

Ah, well don't mind me then. Though the way /tg/ has been, it looked as if they wanted her to be a PC.

>>21730402
Nah, man. She was actually left there with the kobold tribe by an evil Dragonborn who they worshiped. She is, to that evil party, a living macguffin that they need kept safe for a century or two while they're off doing more urgent things in the plans. The character as she is now grew out of 'what would happen to both her and the tribe over the course of a century or two?'

>>21730422

Century or two meaning fucking 10+ generations of kobolds that see her as a living force of divine power.

>>21730432
Correct. 10+ generations that, initially, only had an oral tradition to explain shit. The end result is an elf with many generations of experience learning the skills of the kobolds taking an increasingly central role in a culture of kobolds who lose less and less knowledge each generation as she remembers it.

The idea is that, over the century or two, the kobolds end up having a cultural and technological renaissance ultimately sparked by her.

>>21730445
ok, that's frakking fascinating and original. I like.

I quess that would feed into her god complex too. But what kind of god would she see herself as? If everyone's supposed to be lawful evil, I'm guess tyrant-ish who accepts the adoration as her right, and defends the kobolds vigorously because they are hers, not because she loves them.

>>21730432
EXACTLY
After being left in their care by someone the kobolds view as their god for that long. Why wouldn't she been seen as some kind of ultra competent godling?

...oh right, because any character with a hint of being outside the norm is automatically a super speshul snowflake sue, even if it makes perfect sense given the situation. Silly me.

>>21730475

I like it. Mine mine mine.

Also, the whole lounging in a pile of gold Scrooge McDuck style from the old thread really resonates with me.

Very dragin and all.

>>21730475
Evil doesn't mean you don't love people. She's evil because they are hers and she is theirs and she will do literally anything to protect them. The idea is that they would end up rising into a sort of mound-city that, with a single flip of a switch, turns into the ultimate deathtrap of a dungeon, having a cultural, trade, and technological Renaissance.

>>21730502

>inb4 the city is a mecha

>>21730511
Sure, I guess. There was some good writefaggotry in the previous thread, though. If you find the concept of a comparatively-immortal person causing dramatic cultural change in a society of short-lived individuals, you should check out the previous thread. It's archived on suptg.

I rather like her as an insane cult priestess who believes her self the immortal daughter of a god.

but her only powers are being immune to a sleep spell (see "Elven sleep immunity") and ageing really slowly from the perspective of a kobold.

I look forward to the conversation when the dragonborn turns up to collect her.
especially considering that all the kobolds that where convinced he was a god would have died generations ago

>sup kid time to go
"who are you to order me!"
>what, I left you here. now com...
"BLASPHEMER! the mighty god who entrusted me to this swam was 10foot tall, shot fire from his eyes and lighting from his ass"
...
you get the idea

>>21730502
I agree that she would defend them to the death, that's part of her self-image. I don't see her as loving her people in the same way a good-aligned person would. Say....more of an old-testament god kinda way. If you'll forgive me this analogy, kind of a Menoth from Warmachine style -- he's lawful neutral. Though honestly, her inner emotional makeup doesn't matter so much. It'd be interesting to see what she would do if they all got killed though.

Do you guys see this as a high-powered mound-city? I am picturing it as a group with some very clever stuff, especially traps and good tactics for the kobold soldiers. Perhaps good equipment too.....but they don't have much raw power. At least in my vague conception of this. Saw, they could hold off a small army, since their dungeon is a helluva defensive position, but a real high level party would just obliterate everything.
Apologies if this is incorrect, just trying to get in synch with the train of thought here.

>>21730591
lol, yeah definitely crazy, but a more constructive kind of crazy. She's co-dependent with the kobolds, in a way. She gives them discipline, knowledge, and a focus for their society -- a purpose, in a way. They give her a reason to live and of course, adoring followers.

Does she have any magic powers at all?

>>21730642
In the previous thread, she was said to be a multiclass rogue/sorceress.

ITT: three people who think their latest shitty idea is worth bumping over and over again until we like it

>>21730691
ITT: One person who thinks that /tg/ needs to be alerted when he dislikes something.

>>21730691
Oh look, someone who wouldn't recognize creativity if it bit him in the ass.

If you don't like this thread, just minimize it and ignore it. Otherwise STFU. Threads like this are what /tg/ is all about.

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>>21730691
>stop liking what I don't like

>>21730738
>Creativity
>OH LOOK WE MADE THIS SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE AND YOU HAVE TO LIKE HER OR ELSE YOU'LL HURT MY FEELINGS

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>>21730761

The main thing I think that needs to be decided is if she's going to actually have any real magic or not.

Being a sorcerer or shaman does make a certain degree of sense, what with her being raised by kobolds on behest of their "god" and all that.

That said, personally I kind of like the idea of her not really having any magical power and just being really, REALLY good with traps and junk do to having ten or more kobold generations worth of experience under her belt.

>>21730842
I'm in the multiclass rogue/sorcerer camp. I would not have my jimmies rustled by making her a straight rogue, or even a bard, though.

>>21730842
The OP of the first thread was playing a 4e game. Just make her a rogue with a multiclass in Sorcerer. Bam, simple.

Fey killing blood aside, I would rather see her learn her magic if she has any at all.

Absorbing the practices of wyrmpriests for tens of generations should let her tap into some sort of power.

>>21723481
>>21723489
>>21723516

tl;dr

If anyone braved that wallotext, what's the synopsis?

>>21730942
Fuck, I don't know. The good writefaggotry was in the first thread.

>>21730942
>>21730958

I'll read it, you lazy assholes.

>>21730859
My vote is for her to have magic power, but not much. Look at it this way: Kobolds have shamans, don't they? If so, she could pick up huge amounts of Kobold-shaman lore and tricks over her lifespan. So could be, in essence, a super-shaman, but still not the equal of a high-level mage. I guess that would average out to a mid-power caster, with most spells geared towards protection, healing, enhancement, that kind of thing.
Just throwing that out there to be chewed over....

>>21723516
>>21723500
>>21723481

>adventuring party comes around in an airship.
>one party member knows a little draconic, demands treasure
>kobolds think of them as spirits, lead them to speak with goddess
>adventurers become unruly, strike Smoothscale
>She magics them to die rolling down a pyramid
>everybody eats them

It's actually pretty okay, at least the second and third parts. Just really wordy. I like how when Smoothscale spat out some blood from her split lip, the kobolds immediately declared the step that it landed on as the sacred 174th step.

>>21731054

I read it too now.

I like all of it except for the fact that it's implied that the kobolds didn't value gold.

No fucking way would any draconic race devalue gold.

>>21731083
I thought kobolds liked shiny over gold? I could see them preferring copper or steel over gold, as all gold I have seen is rather dull without a ton of polishing.

>>21731102
Kobolds have the instinct of collecting shit for their master's sleeping pile. Coins, jewelry, and other valuables are all things they would collect.

>>21731102
>>21731083
>>21731119

I thought it would depend on the type of dragon flight the kobold is attached to?

I forgot which color, but some dragons prefer art or textiles over gold.

Then that just brings up the kobold's scale color, though. I say black because they're swamp kobolds.

>>21731158
Yeah, probably black. That would mean they would want to collect things that don't tarnish/rust and don't suffer from water damage.

>>21731184
The draconomicon says that black dragons value coinage more than any other treasure, so I can sort of (read: not really) believe that the kobolds wouldn't think much of maybe using a silver serving tray.

I'm still staunch as hell about them not knowing about gold, though.

What would happen if she and the kobolds ever meet a real dragon?

>>21731471

Don't do that. It'll ruin our fun.

>>21731471
Mass panic

>>21730842
>>21730859

Not the Assyriologyfag from the first thread, but another anthropologyfag who also participated.

She sneak. She lay traps. She spend time with sneaky, sneaky kobolds. So she has levels in Rogue. Now, as to why Sorceror cropped up? There's no one thing you can point to, but the general idea was that she was a force multiplier for the kobolds. Now, what's the biggest multiplier that a person or small group can contribute within the context of D&D? Be a caster. That said, it would need to be a caster class she'd have access to - shaman from her environs, sorceror because she has a pulse. Me personally, I lean sorceror for a few reasons. First off, a high CHA score would benefit both her casting and her ability to be a living god. Second, sorceror has a much deeper access to illusion, and an illusionist trapmaker is a rage tier BBEG. It's a setup that has maximum impact upon the actual PCs -- they have to wade through her clusterfuck funhouse of a lair before they can drag her off by the scruff of her neck, but if they kill her they lose their MacGuffin. And that's really the point of an evil game to me: actions and consequences. This is all one big consequence of the dragonborn saying, "I ain't keepin' no infant. Give it to the 'bolds."

Now, as to the renaissance side (which I am at least partially responsible for): don't get carried away and think that they'll have fucking airships and matchlocks. It's a comparative renaissance, a chance to become King Shit, but only of Shit Mountain. They might gain such incredible wonders as the pulley, the screw, and the lever. They may develop the written word.

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>>21731711

>>21731729
>(ctd)

The main thing they're gaining is hindsight - I'd love to do X, but the Goddess says that great great great grandsire Halfsnout did the same thing, and that's why he was called Halfsnout. I'd better not do that. If they can apply this wisdom and only make the same mistakes once, then they're on a path to steady progress, and they'll have a very nice shit heap in a century. But they'd still get Cortez'd like a motherfucker by any of the non-lesser races turning out in force.

>>21731740

What about 200 years, then?

>>21731740
>Cortez'd like a motherfucker
You mean that the tiny population of invaders will convince your political rivals and internal revolutionaries to overthrow the current government, then keep playing people against each other until THEY are the king of Shit Mountain? Because Cortez and the Conquistadors didn't tend to directly involve themselves until decades after the natives had been crushed by each other.

>>21730661
In the last thread there was no consensus upon her class - there were a few things up in the air, rogue/sorcerer, (dragonpact) warlock, shaman and a few other things were all options being considered.

Her alignment was also up in the air, ranging from LE, to CN

>>21731870

Chaotic Neutral is only one step above Chaotic Evil in the derp tier.

>>21731870
I don't see why she wouldn't be LE.
Kobolds are normally LE, and she's their ruler.

>>21731959
Elves are usually CG, Living with bolds might cause the scale to slide... they're not likely to tell her what to do so her chaotic nature would likely stay but growing up with them around she'd likely lose the 'good' worldview.

>>21731931
completely possible to be CN without being a retard.

>>21731992
They are likely to give her authority. Hence the Lawful.

>>21732028
Being the authority doesn't make you have any more respect for the law - smoothscale is a goddess to them and believes herself to be one, she's outside the 'law'.

>>21732025

I kind of doubt that whenever kobolds are involved on /tg/.

Can we pin down what kind of civilization has sprung up around her, though?

I dig the whole Assyrian/Mesopotamian feel. Ziggurats over pyramids, please. It helps pull Smoothscale and her kobolds away from the whole Mayan/Incan/etc trope that lizardmen have.

>>21732405
I actually like the maya/inca type thing.

>>21732546

But that's so Lizardmen!

>>21732645
But lizardmen are more advanced, isn't the point that the kobolds become more advanced too?

>>21733658

Didn't the Assyrians have working toilets? Can't get more advanced than that.

>>21731785
> Historical accurate description of Cortez`s "conquest" of the aztecs
My Knigga.

Can a historyfag say how far a civilization can progress from huts and villages to ??? in 200 years time?

Maybe 300, since the kobolds would have Smoothscale to boost all of that.

>>21730193
>Now, Sandwich is what /tg/ says is an "acceptable" Mary Sue.
Sandwich was all fine and good until she left the barrow to become a paladin. Everything took a massive nosedive into faggotry once that happened.

>>21733867
The mongols progressed from nomads with huts to ruling most of Asia in a single generation.

>>21733918

Huh, good example, that.

>already equating WHAT WAS ONCE A SIMPLE FUCKING REQUEST FOR CHARACTER ADVICE to Sandwich

>>21733914

Cheeto stained fingers will drag down anything of value if held long enough.

>>21733936

But it was all a clever ploy by the guy who made Sandwich to have /tg/ make an arch-enemy for her though, wasn't it?

>>21733966
You got to admire the guy`s plot. worthy of Tzeencch, it was.

>>21733984

I dunno. It's kind of sad too. Someone out there has figured out /tg/'s habits and tics enough to know how to get us to make board OC.

Must be some kind of mega-neckbeard glued to his chair.

>>21733936

Hehe, wrong pic, anon?

Wasn't she lawful evil? Where's all this cute mary sue bullshit coming from?

If she was raised by kobolds, then she kills and eats people and doesn't consider rest of the world as nothing more then a big breadbasket for her and her tribe.

>>21734053

What cute bullshit are you talking about? The only writefaggotry in this thread so far depicts her cooking adventurers in their armor and then telling her kobolds to save her some meat.

Young Smoothscale is pretty adorable, though.

>>21734053
Mary Sues can be evil, too. Hell, the fact that some raised by scaly retards ended up as anything more than a drooling moron herself is a huge leap in logic for me.

>>21734154
>Kobold
>Retards
You don't play DnD, do you?

>>21734308

>tfw Tucker's Kobolds incoming.

>>21734308
>>21734317
Autistic savants are still fucking retards. Or are you going to try and argue that orks are brilliant motherfuckers next?

>>21734317
Kobold, 1st-Level Warrior
Size/Type: Small Humanoid (Reptilian)
Hit Dice: 1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+1 size, +1 Dex, +1 natural, +2 leather), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-4
Attack: Spear +1 melee (1d6-1/×3) or sling +3 ranged (1d3-1)
Full Attack: Spear +1 melee (1d6-1/×3) or sling +3 ranged (1d3-1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: —
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., light sensitivity
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +1, Will -1
Abilities: Str 9, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 10, Wis 9, Cha 8
Skills: Craft (trapmaking) +2, Hide +6, Listen +2, Move Silently +2, Profession (miner) +2, Search +2, Spot +2
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Gang (4-9), band (10-100 plus 100% noncombatants plus 1 3rd-level sergeant per 20 adults and 1 leader of 4th-6th level), warband (10-24 plus 2-4 dire weasels), tribe (40-400 plus 1 3rd-level sergeant per 20 adults, 1 or 2 lieutenants of 4th or 5th level, 1 leader of 6th-8th level, and 5-8 dire weasels)
Challenge Rating: ¼
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually lawful evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +0

File: 1353802839552.jpg-(3 KB, 92x126, 1300563110462s.jpg)

>>21733984
>>21734033
>>21733966

Wait. Back the fuck up. You mean this shit is actually planned out? I thought OP was just spouting wishful thinking?!?

>>21734376
No, I'm using the stats instead of your brilliant homebrews.

10 in int and 9 in wis for level 1 does not retard make. Easy enough, is it not?

>>21734385
we were pawns all this time.

>>21734385
Yup. Sandwich was never that good in the first place to make it all worse.

>tribe (40-400 plus 1 3rd-level sergeant per 20 adults, 1 or 2 lieutenants of 4th or 5th level, 1 leader of 6th-8th level, and 5-8 dire weasels)

So she has access to DIRE weasels, eh?

File: 1353803142513.png-(53 KB, 500x430, tumblr_lblfkoq7IA1qzlgkno(...).png)

>>21734421
>>21734430

I... I feel so used...

>>21734435

>200 years of Dire Weasel husbandry later

What? Attack Smoothscale city? Fucking impossible. They have trained attack weasels the size of tigers out there!

>>21734435
Yes. From the rules point of view, she is Lawful evil elf with civilization around her dedicated to trapmaking and an access to 5-8 dire weasels.

>>21734483
>>21734478
Or probably more with the whole "Perfect retaining of culture and skills inside the tribe".

>>21733867
uruk came from a simple crossroads to a flourishing city with an important temple in about 100 years. this is speculative though since it is from the time when there was no written history yet; i think it was the uruk period from 3600 till 3400 BCE, after that the developement boomed with the first writings. now imagine a culture in an environment where there are already all those things, they just need to be used and there is actually someone to lead them to certain goals. hell, just look how fast huge cities were built in the conquering of america, i think that might be more appropriate as an example

>>21734506
So, she's what, 100, 200 years old?

How long is the dire weasels lifespan? That would give us a starting place on how brilliant their weasel based traps would be and if they would have had time to breed specialized dire weasels.

>>21734554

I think 5-10 years? Don't quote me on that, though. I remember they breed a little faster than dogs, anyway.

>>21733797
yes, assyrians had toilets. they actually had railroads made out of stone in some palaces, for thrones and offering altars which were only needed some days of the year. mesopotamian culture would be fitting as fuck, seeing as it was a culture where nobody ever moved out of the town of his forefathers just because and the culture just kind of worked with that. also, nearly everything in mesopotamia was built with mud, which is also fitting. sure, there is stonestuff, but that was just to show of wealth, and they had no proper wood. so they just used all their mud.

>>21734578

>400 generations of weasels to domesticate.

The possibilities are endless, gentlemen!

>>21734591

Shit, added an extra 0 there.

Still, 40 is a pretty good size.

File: 1353803962924.jpg-(82 KB, 961x651, CREEDSHIT.jpg)

For those who weren't there last night.

>>21734033
>Must be some kind of mega-neckbeard glued to his chair.
Not really. Its really fucking easy to predict what /tg/ will turn into a waifu. Just take something they like but don't want to admit they like, such as elves, and stick them with something that /tg/ is sexually attracted to but doesn't want to admit they are, like dwarves or kobolds.

>>21734651
And then he became a Daemon prince.

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>>21734699

What if...

What if ALL /tg/'s OCs were made by one guy?

Cultist-chan, Blue, ALL OF THEM? OH GOD, THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME!

I'M OUTIE MAN, OUTIE!

*blam blam*

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>>21734738
Check this out
>New 40K waifu - Little tau girl taken in by a certain enterprising DEldar during the cultural exchange. Said DEldar finds her newly acquired toy tau adorably pathetic, so she trains the little tau girl to become the perfect assassin to add insult to her enemies' injury. Afterwards they have raunchy sadomasochistic lesbosex.
See, easy as fuck.

>>21734738
Be cool, man, it`s not like all people in this board it`s just one fat man, right?

>>21734794

I feel compelled to make five pages of fluff for her as well as commission deviantartists for her likeness.

File: 1353804785332.jpg-(88 KB, 1024x778, monkey.jpg)

>>21734812

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

*assplode*

>>21734822
And to get those dawwboners a-twitchin
>Taudar only wants her mistress' praise and will do anything for it. DEldar mistress sometimes feels a twinge of...something when basking in the afterglow of raunchy interspecies lesbianism with her pet snuggled contentedly against her bosom, but she banishes those midnight emotions before the Taudar can wake up and see the way her mistress watches her sleep.
Or some shit like that. Its really fucking easy.

>>21734865
Somethings tells me this is going to summon /d/aemons...

>>21734865

Haha... Taudar.

That's a gold name.

>>21734874
Or /u/ltralisks.

>>21734600
Not probably enough to breed really specialized dire weasels.

But still. Enough to make really fucking mean dire weasels for all kinds of traps.

>>21734794
>>21734865
Offtopic shitposting with 40k? how unsurprising.

>>21734898

I don't mind, as long as they have dire weasels that are markedly larger than a lion or tiger. I think regular dire weasels are about as big as a dog to begin with, right?

Waiting on Sandwich fighting Smoothscale drawffagotry.

Or rough, violent sex. Whichever comes first.

>>21734900
Alright fine
>A little orphan elf girl is found and raised by a village of Warforged. Thinking herself a machine and wearing a kettlepot on her head, Eltron 2.0 sets off into the world!

>>21735077
Wow. WOW. That sounds adorable.

>>21734933
Dire weasel traps is the thing I'd be going for. I'ts not really feasible to create hulking beasts for mines.

More likely that they would breed to most vicious, muscly and tiny to create swarms of tasmanian honey badger devils.

>>21735188

Nothing says you can't have both.

There are St Bernards and then there are Chihuahuas.

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>>21735122
>half-orc girl raised as an elf by her elfaboo orc mother and elven dad to prove that orcs are better than elves at everything, even at being elves

>little tau earth caste girl raised by Squats. Acts as a foil to Blue

>little orphan girl of any race raised by a lich. She lives alone with Grampa Bones in his tower and thinks adventurers are scary monsters since they keep trying to hurt her grandpa.

>Necron Lord who after millenia of mental degradations thinks hes the little girl. Invites Xeno to slumber parties.

>>21735188
all in favor of having the new bread of terrifying dire weasels be called Devil Badgers?

By the humans of course, the Kobolts probably call them something more holy sounding

File: 1353807053277.jpg-(200 KB, 1102x558, dontshitpost.jpg)

>>21735077
>>21735260
You're going with /jp/ style 'ironic shitposting' here, because you don't like the thread - if you don't like it maybe you should hide it instead of shitposting.

>>21735281

I'll second it.

Though your bread is throwing me off.

>>21735237
True.

>>21735281
Holy retrievers or just retrievers.

Trap is sprung. Holy retrievers are released to the tunnels surrounding the trap.

Swarm, well, swarms the trap and retrieves whatever was inside to the trap. Trough the tunnels. If it was anything bigger, it's retrieved in pieces.

>But anon, armor!
They retrieve it in pieces. Reason can be anything from bull-headed viciousness to really fucking powerful jaws.

Also, they are the meatbread of Smoothscales tribe.

>>21735326
No, I was just showing how easy it is to make something that /tg/ will fall in love with, as evidenced by the positiver reactions to these. It is no more shitposting than anyone contributing to op is.

Fully domesticated dire weasels, huh?

Livestock weasels, guard weasels, retrieval weasels.

Weasels weasels weasels.

>>21735394
I can only see one sarcastic comment on it.

Come on. Hide the thread if you don't like dire weasels.

>>21735394

I admit, those are concepts that /tg/ would like, but I do like to think that the community has some sort of standard that they go by to go from "Hey, that's kinda nifty" to having art and literature made for the character.

Art and literature used very liberally of course.

>>21735426
For fucks sake I never said I disliked Smoothscale. Read the reply chain. The fairly civil reply chain, I might add, until you hopped in and spilled your cunt all over the place.
>>21735441
Not really. As >>21734651 shows, its as easy as presenting it in the right manner and inserting some extra information while posing as an outside anon later on.

FUCKING SCALEFAG LIZARD TI

Oh. This is actually kinda cool.

So, adding to OP's list is...

>Dire Weasel husbandry

Anything else there?

>>21735543
Wow, slow down man. The hell got your pants twisted?

>>21735417
Don't know of 40 generations is long enough time to breed so many things from a start of 8 dire weasels.

Well, depends on how many litters the dire weasels have and how many cubs they get in a litter.

>>21735610
From what I can tell, weasels have 1 litter a year of 2-5 weasel babies. So assuming the at least half of the weasels give birth, you end up with a whole ton of weasels, because it multiplies like crazy.

>>21735610
5-8 per litter according to the Goggle gods.

I think that's enough for one maybe two breeds of dire weasel to develop.

As the one who started the name Devil Badgers I support their existence. Terrible attack weasels that would give a honey badge a run for its money in terms of fearlessness

>>21735610

It only took 12 generations to fully domesticate foxes in Russia, and that was in 50 years. You should see how insane some changes in dog breeds are from antique paintings and photos to how the dogs look like of the "same" breed today.

"Great Grandmother Stitchnose, is it true that the weasels of your hatchling years were just mindless swamp beasts?"

"Yes, they were nothing like the elegant hunting Devil Badgers that you see today. What wonders the great Smoothscale has led our people towards!"

>>21735687
>>21735688
Well, fuck me.
Tried to look for honey badgers breeding too and...

They get to their full size in 8 months. a litter per year of 1-4 and the mother changes den every 1-5 days.

>>21735687
So, in short...

avarage 3 cubs per year in average for 200 years per breeding female...

Many, many thousands of devil badgers. It's like the place is New Zealand expect everybody is gollum and the sheeps are devil badgers.

>>21736116

I dunno if Smoothscale is Sauron tier though.

>>21736433
Nah, I'd think that Smoothscale is kind of a Uber-Gollum.

With Rube Goldberg traps.

>>21736433
She's at least Sarumon tier though

>>21735610
You're the one all panty-twizzled about a little side conversation in your precious little Smoothscale thread, as if that isn't what /tg/ is famous for. Though you are getting me to start hating her by association, so good job on that.

>>21736516
The post was:
"I can only see one sarcastic comment on it.

Come on. Hide the thread if you don't like dire weasels."

What particular part about this post riles you up this much? Why do you come back to the thread, go "No, you!" and still admit that you're getting more and more angry about the particular subject in the thread? Are you a masochist?

>>21736512
A sorcerer with a tribe of kobolds and a bunch of vicious beasts does not Saruman make, though.

>>21736619
>thinking you have to be angry to dislike something
Thats cute.

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>>21736619
I dunno, it does seem at least a little Sarumon-like

>>21736713

Yeah, breeding stuff is kinda his deal.

>>21736713
True. But more of a dorf-fort style really. Without dorfs who go batshit insane when there's no stuff that nobody has even seen in the whole existence of the tribe.

>>21736673
>>21735543
>For fucks sake
>Spilled your cunt
Oh please. Just hide the thread.

Smoothscale is having a really weird evolution as a character. This Sarumon dealie fits nicely, though.

How would one calculate how many Devil badgers the tribe has after 200 years?

>>21736857

It'd be a something^something, wouldn't it?

Well, maybe not. I mean, it's not as if they'd keep every one of them.

i like how the city is kind of becoming a thing while adventuring sorceress girl starts fading in the background. a new faction is more awesome than a new character and babylonian culture is extremely underused in... everywhere

>>21736874
Thats because the whole thing was a set-up, chief.

>>21736872
But there would be losses based on deaths with every generation. Some kind of generation based formula must be out there...

>>21736872
well selective breeding implies that at least some of the offspring would not be allowed to breed.
And there would be the inevitable death, because some of them have to be used as murder beasts

>>21736874
well, the living god-child is still and important part of the city/culture.

>>21736950
Well, if we go with 200 years old, she would already be an experienced adult by elf standards.

>>21737044
true, but the formative part of the culture was her childhood/early adolescence.

We are going with the elves not becoming full adults until 80-100 right? because that's how I roll.

I don't mind how this thread is shaping up.

If this is gonna be a civ thread, at least it's something I can actually use in a game that's pretty cool.

>>21737083
We may as well add another layer of how stupid this waifu is. I can just tell /tg/ is going to be all over the 60 year old loli god-empress shit you are already jerking yourself to.

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>>21737118

Calm your tits, son.

>>21737083
110 based on ogl, I think.

114 - 134 years is the starting age for rogues and sorcerers.

>>21736874
She`s the queen, and that`s important. but bot as important as the kingdom. I like to think that she becomes more important as a figure head than a politician, and she only steps up when there`s danger.

>>21737118
Man, you're still here? Seriously, hiiide the thread.

I'm starting to worry for your mental health.

>>21737101
i typed up some stuff about the creation of the first cities in the real world and how i believe it would go in this case. maybe somebody saved it or cares to repeat the corepoints. maybe ill do that when this thread is still around when i wake up. but for now, i gotta go sleep. its getting late in europe

>>21737137

I don't mind that, but in the way that the Japanese Emperor is important, not the shitty way that the Brits treat their monarchy.

I wonder if Kiki from the long ear irregulars has been mentioned yet...

>>21737173
...wat.

>>21737157
if you know, the Emperor was close to immortal relative to the lifespan of the people.

and even in Japan the Shogun held a lot of the Emporal power. so More like Pre-roman Egypt.

>>21734651
Wait what was posted about a campaign?

>>21737157
Exactly. they probably count time with her arrival as year 0.

>>21737150
What the fuck is your pretentious ass on about?

>>21737224

The thread is on Suptg.

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>>21737212
Long Ear irregulars- something that came up a few months ago. It was a group of adventurers who were...different each in their own way. It included Sandwich, as well as Kiki, the elf rogue raised by Kobolds who found her in a barrel, Galahadrel Goldentusk, elven barbarian raised by orcs and the original source of inspiration, Violet Vanthas, the elven cleric raised by halflings, and Professor Sindarian Leshywayridiculouselfname, a dwarf wizard raised by elves whose express purpose is to study the group and research nature vs nurture.

They were opposed by the laughing man, a human bard raised by gnolls

>>21737308

That professor Sindarian guy would probably fall in love with Smoothscale, then.

File: 1353815451688.png-(195 KB, 720x480, Horrified hobbit.png)

>>21737308
Ugh, that is just plain disgusting.

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>>21737329
Oh no, he was a full elfaboo. He detested and was at the same time perversly attracted by the others due to always feeling looked down upon by other elves and trying to be as elfy as dwarf can be. he would probably observe smoothscale in the same way an anthropologist observes bushmen

>>21737308
Its hilarious how much this proves my earlier point that drove that one anon into conniptions over the revelation.

>>21737372

I know. The tragic thing is how obvious the amount of effort the guy put into it.

>>21737308
A few months? I think it's way, way older then that.

>>21737329
>>21737374
One was Lawful Evil sorceress and trapmaster cannibal and supreme queen of a tribe of murderous kobolds and a breeder of devil badgers.

The other a pansy dwarf.

Together they held hands.

>>21737408

Held hands? Soft core shit. They rubbed noses.

>>21737395
It's more of a bunch of different fa/tg/uys doing the different things. The original OP of smootscale only admitted to starting Sandwich.

File: 1353815869129.png-(938 KB, 1239x1749, 1289261947151.png)

>>21737372
...I thought it was pretty neat.

Original thread here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12602546/

>>21737464

That picture goes down way smoother than the other one.

Fuck. Sandwich is two years old or older now? Now I feel really old...

>>21737464
Its quite literally Waifu Action Squad, complete with a self insert creepy neckbeard who has tasked himself with stalking the girls.

>>21737567

Still not as creepy as Harem Knights.

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>>21737477
The artist did a couple of different versions.

Oh, and note Lily on the left- Elf blackguard, raised by drow.

The concept of nature versus nurture sure hold sounds interesting in a setting in which race defines an important part of the expected behaviour.. something interesting can come out of it.

>>21737577
No, but it almost sounds like something out of Harem Knight.

>>21737578
Wouldn't fuck any of them. Not even the redhead [nospoilersneeded] Fucking Gingers. [/spoilersnotrequired]

>>21737578

Well, he got better. Kinda. Their postures are still wonky.

Gotta love someone with the patience to do coloring, though.

>>21737596

At least there isn't all this talk of "fraternizing" and stuff. God, the way those guys pussyfoot around the word is deplorable.

>>21737874
I wouldn't know, I stay as far as fuck as I can from those threads.

>>21737937

In all honesty, not even 100 out of the 3000 that they said were teleported to DnD land would have survived.

But here isn't the time or place to talk about that.

Do you guys think that the kobolds would have eventually started to expand thanks to all their tech boosts?

>>21737981

I dunno. It really would have been nice if there was more information about the setting. Like, how big is the swamp, how big was the kobold tribe, what other monsters were there, etc.

Navigators log dawn-watch 86-17-11
Nasty bit of business past orens strait, we come out ahead but not by much.
Last rights ate up my whole damn afternoon. Did them what surrendered in one go.
Garrens way o thinking bein that after what they done if they want any kind o mercy they can ask it of the sahaugin.

86-18-11
seems them devils weren’t adrift by their lonesome. A pair o junks come at us sunward, fast n low. Us bein at half strength after yesterdays festivities, Garren reckoned descrection was just as good as valor. Took her out into deep water, let em play can n mouse n another cat out over the deeps

86-19-11
lost em out in a storm after quite a bit o recklessness on our part. We are well n truly out to sea.

86-25-11
fuck

86-03-12
the men is on half water rashon and none too pleased. I can keep em alive my own self, Boccob be praised, but youd think I was pissin the stuff out rather than performin miracles they way they grumble

86-04-12
Garren turned her twards widders coast, we’ll collect some fresh water, maby some game n creep northward. Set off home.

86-5-12
caught a couple o terns on the rear spar. Darow swares he can see smoke on the horizon.

86-6-12
damn if it aint so. Thers some kind o proper folk out on the coast. Theys pirates most like, so well confiscate whatever needs confiscatin. N if theys rightfull men then we’ll take them that’s fit for crew and turn this heap dead around.

86-7-12
these queer folk v pitched their tents in the middle of a ruddy swamp. We moored the old girl as close as we dared and made ready on the skiffs. The men is in good spirits n the boy has polished up the scale mail right smart, his little heart is right set on havin a proper adventure on an uncharted coast.

86-8-12
the boys well n miserable, hackin his way through this mess in his full kit, there aint no proper chanelss through this black water, how do these folk gat out to sea? The suns a wanin but we’ll press on, damned if we’ll bivoak in a stinkin swamp.

86-9-12
so here with sun up we comes to it after fightin our way through quite a few muddy ponds full a catfish. On the edge o this little strip o mud is a pack a damn kobolds! Not a spear among um. Little chicken legs stickin out a teeny little pants! Little wicker hats all done up with fireflies n all manner o filth! Holdin up plates full o worms. The boys about lost their damn minds. Tame damn kobolds! Here at the ends of the earth is a pack o monsters that knows they is beat. Garren sets the men to rights n walks up to the things. they don’t so much as flinch, just paw n scrape n hold up them little plates. Garren takes one, brushes the worms off and damn if it aint gold. So we forms up and heards the things forward towards who ever traind em. We goes past all these pools a alge an damn if the little buggers aint playin house. They don up all these little shacks outa mud n straw like a toy village with all these critters goin on with copper tools passin clay chits between em like they was some proper sorta men. So we goes by a dirt road to the biggest pile o dirt they got. Maby 30, 40 feet high, three times as wide. Up near the top is this little bugger done all up in green copper. The men is snickerin respectfull like and Garren says if that aint the king o shit creek then we’ll never know who is. So he tiptoes up all them little babby steps and tries to have him a talk with it. But it don’t speak no kinda proper tongue so I have to waddle up there as the thing speaks a smatterin o draconic.

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>>21738950
>>21738973

>bracing for pretty cool to maybe awesome

It don’t go too well so Garren figures hell smack some sense into it. he gives it a tap on the snout. thing peels right off and were dumbstruck. By the last book it was a gods damn little slip of an elf, all caked up in mud n filth. The little shit starts spittin curses, lays heat metal on Garren smooth as you please. This weren’t my first goat fuck and damn if it was gonna be my last. I slid down that hill right into shit creek. Them of the men with any sence did the same, most of em formed up where Garren stopped rollin. The boy had a little sence in him and caught right up. So we leg it through mud city kickin down walls n crackin heads where they pop up. Lost Berth to a dead fall not long after. Me n the boy make it as far as the fish ponds when we get hit with a wall of stink. These greasy strips o fur come lopin down at us mean as you please. We cave their heads in after a bit of a tussel an limp out into the swamp victorious. But them greasy things weren’t any sort o natural an our wounds wouldent clot by their lonesom. Now he was a damn good boy, but its like the good book says. Physician, heal thyself.

86-10-12
fuck

>>21739019

Wait, is that it?

I guess the journal ends there, poor bastard didn't make it.

>>21737578
>heterochromia

No. Fucking NO. That's top tier Suesign. I like Sandwich minus all the waifu bullshit, but her Action Waifu Squad is shit.

>>21740171
Of course the kobold elf would have heterochromia. Kobolds are the second most wanked fantasy race, right behind dwarves.

>>21740171
This.

Sandwich is interesting enough and I like her origin story. Everything afterwards is bullshit, except maybe for the elf who lived as orc.

And fuck the whole "misunderstood kobolds, we're just hardoworking people" bullshit. Lawful evil because they kill and eat everything that they can get their filthy hands latched on to. The stuff that they don't eat they use for baits and markings for their territory. Like all proper dragons with evil string and dapper do.

>>21740171
>>21740243
If I remember correctly that was the artist being an idiot and forgetting to do the other color,you;ll notice it's not two colors but an obvious colored iris and one that's obviously not been.

As for action waiful squad the whole thing went from, I'd like to play an orky elf (golden tusk there who should look even more savage.)

And for the whole reason we liked Keekee was elf raised by kobolds who might actually go for traps over locks,

>tfw 2AM, and you're still refreshing the Smoothscale thread for OC.

I... goodnight, /tg/. I don't want to Stu Pickles this. Much as I love this concept, I have some form of control in my life.

>>21740335
One's blue, the other's brown. Both eyes are colored

>>21740335
>orky elf
>ork
>k
Eurgh, don't dip your 40K in my fantasy, bro. The rest of that is pretty meh, too. I for one am tired of /tg/ painting elves as worthless fucks who can only function as sex appeal mascots for other races with no culture of their own.

>>21740635
>refreshing
Lookit this faggot.

>>21740691
The word orcy just doesn't look right with a c. Besides, Tolkien did spell it with a k on occasion. Don't get your panties in a bunch

>Captcha:
>cumsour being

>>21740286

I don't want to go all bleeding heart, but kobolds are sneaky opportunity predators because they have to be. Goblins boss them around. Hobs, orcs, and bugbears are all completely out of scope. They're still considered prey for a goodly number of animals.

They're LE because hardscrabble survival is LE. You need surplus before D&D goodly good won't potentially wipe you out.

>>21741121
Kinda Frankenstein Monster

For those still interested, with an attrition rate of about 10%, and sub optimal birth rates, your looking at about 7000 weasels.

>>21741367
12 generations at 5 breeding years per full parental generation(parents don't survive), with 3 kits per breeding, starting with Smoothscale @ +140 years of current age(under max age assumtion for adulthood, to actually, you know, LEARN ABOUT SELECTIVE BREEDING) give each breeding female 15 kits per parental generation. After 12 generations with 3 kits per new female per year for 5 years= 6.33*10^10 dire weasles. Let me repeat that. 63 BILLION WEASLES! Carpets of living dire weasles everywhere.

Drop the number down to 2 viable female kits per breeding you end up with 488 MILLION in the same timeframe.
Reduce to just 1 per breeding and the result is "only" 119 thousand, still enough to kill any PF/3.5 charcter just from basic attacks.

>>21741919
Don't forget, each of these bastards is 3HD + bullshit abilities, and get larger if you advance them:
Dire Weasel
Size/Type: Medium Animal
Hit Dice: 3d8 (13 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+4 Dex, +2 natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+4
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Attach, blood drain
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 19, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 11
Skills: Hide +8, Listen +3, Move Silently +8, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Stealthy, Weapon FinesseB
Environment: Temperate hills
Organization: Solitary or pair
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 4-6 HD (Medium); 7-9 HD (Large)

>>21741925

More interesting than guard drakes.

>>21740286
the elf raised by halflings doesn't bother me to much, but it also doesn't strike me as "oh so special".

I mean, one of the standard 'good' races is raised by another of the standard 'good' races. Might raise an eyebrow or two, but no cause of shouting

Okay, since it's clear, in reading the thread, that most posters don't even realize that this is thread #2, here's the first thread:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/21704519/
>So I'm running an evil campaign, and I'm using an elf baby as a macguffin for my party that needs her alive because the devil they have a pact with needs the bloodline of her family alive.

>This was troublesome because all of the survivors of her family were deranged assassins out to get the tiefling in our party, and the only one that we didn't slay and/or committed poison by suicide is this baby.

>I half-heartedly wanted player shenanigans, trying to adventure with a baby, but just thought they'd dump her in an orphanage or something.

>Still, players act as players do. Instead of that, they basically just threatened a kobold clan that basically worshiped our one dragonborn fighter and told them to keep her safe for a hundred years while they go off to the Astral Sea for the rest of this part of the campaign.

>The baby is actually a big part of the puzzle box prop that I gave my party. I put a message in the box that basically tells the party that she is something that can be used against the "good" fey gods when they try to take over power portfolios, so I can't handwave her away or just leave her forever with the kobolds as the party will come back eventually.

>Help me, /tg/! How the fuck would a kobold raised by elves act like without it being a stupid concept?