Just you wait until she passes D4 kidneystones

Free d6s! Finally, I can play Shadowrun 2e!

>>21927754
That leg looks like it's gonna need to be amputated.

And all the limbs.

And head.

Just kidding, I don't want my amputee waifu to be dead.

>we told you not to sneeze on /a/.

No, you didn't, because that would be a retarded thing to say.

Just imagine one of your friends walking up to you and going "Don't sneeze on Jim."

And you'd be all like "Why the hell would I sneeze on Jim. Why would you think I would sneeze on Jim. You're high again, aren't you?"

She should just roll with it.

>/a/
>she
Dohoho...

>she

We all know you're gay, /v/

Stop pretending.

File: 1354851983876.jpg-(30 KB, 390x310, 32.jpg)

>>21927819

Can you imagine? /tg/ finds this poor girl breaking out in die every where and they just keep her in their basement, pumping out die so they don't have to out and buy some.

Wooh! I'm keeping it. Free d6s for life. My ork army will be pleased.

Along with someone to play with ;_;

>>21927869
Just wander around town until you find someone else sneezing up d6s, then you'll have found your opponent.

>>21927866
If this happened I would die of laughter.

>>21927754
Oh no I think she may have Explosive Womblosis!

>>21927921
But if they're not chained up in a basement whilst hooked up to a dice harvester, how can you be sure they'll agree to play?

>>21927937
Shit, same disease that took my sister.

Rolled 13

>>21927937
Better put her in a sack and beat her against a tree until she dies
its the only way for her to go peacefully

File: 1354852479274.png-(42 KB, 387x164, Elemental Sees what you d(...).png)

>>21927928
pic related.


Looks like she's... full of craps.

>please rate

>>21927942
>keeps sickly girl chained up in basement
>so you force her to regularly play tabletop games
/tg/

>>21927942
Well there's your answer then. Take them down to the basement and force them to play Warhammer with you all day every day while you continue the dice harvest.

>>21927754
Hey man don't blame us, /fit/ said it wasn't contagious! I think he heard it from /sci/ though, so she's to blame too.

So is this a die homunculus or something?

/tg/ - What The Fuck, Seriously

>>21927997
You don't even need /- wait, what board would this even apply to this?

I...

I think i could treat that

>>21927992
Never go to /fit/ for medical advice.

He'll just prescribe SQUATZ AND OATZ.

>>21928009
Probably /b/.

>>21927817
You bring up such an excellent point.

>>21928015
Roll to heal.

>>21927974
Hey, we're not monsters

We'll leave her with our minis to paint too

Rolled 5

>>21928048

Rolled 5, 3, 6 = 14

>>21928048
This here's my healing stat

>>21928009
/d/
Why even ask?

>>21928022
but its worksafe. Do we have a worksafe random board?

>>21928057
If she's really good, we might even let her read over some rulebooks so she can check our character sheets and army lists.

>>21928097
Maybe as a Christmas gift, let's not go too crazy here.

>>21928095
Yeah, /tg/.

You're not looking at the bigger picture here.

A pet gamemaster to run shit from my basement, spending all day every day shedding dice and crafting amazing campaigns to run for my group.

>>21928166
Hell, if you'tr going to go that far, why not just let her DM the campaign herself?

>/a/
>she
Bad news, bro.

>>21928199
Constantly shedding dice would be unsightly.

>>21927817
>You're high again, aren't you?"
So what if I am

>>21928210
It's fine, just have a sort of giant funnel under her chair to tidily gather the dice up and filter them down into an underground storage container for later collection.

File: 1354853534087.jpg-(84 KB, 817x588, Nurgle.jpg)

Its ok, papa Nurgle loves them like all the rest

File: 1354853544479.jpg-(84 KB, 302x674, Idea.jpg)

>>21928166
Leave her with some scraps of wood and glue and she might start making terrain pieces for war-gaming
Then use those war-games as a source of news about the ongoing realms in the kingdom

>>21928213
I told you to stop sniffing plastic solvent.

This is why you got banned from games workshop.

>>21928205
Look, if she fucks like a chick, and looks like one, might as well be a chick.

>>21928217
But what if she ended up being an excellent DM and the players prefer her? No, better just to reap the fruits of her labors and get all the praise as well.

In exchange, she gets to write campaign modules and paint miniatures all the time instead of working.

>>21928258
What else would she work on? Her block stacking skills?

Hey, we're all assuming that just because she's shedding dice she must be sickly and in poor health.

She looks pretty solid and well-built to me. For all we know, she could be healthy as a horse and just have a shitty, painful skin condition.

Thanks /tg/, all these years I was wondering what was missing from my life, and now I know.

A girl chained up in the basement to assist with all my traditional gaming needs.

>>21928254
Thats not how it works, brosef.

>>21928267
Whittling custom miniatures based on the NPCs your really need?

>>21928240
don't give her the wood, have everything be made of dice

>>21928258

Come on, the poor girl has cystic-dice acne. I think she at least deserves to be the best forever DM ever in exchange for letting you harvest the dice instead of seeing a dermatologist.

File: 1354853785098.jpg-(227 KB, 2048x1536, esh esh hands.jpg)

>>21928281
sounds like you need a healthy dose of esh esh

>>21928304
>Eshesh
>good
lel

>>21928322
>esh
>not good
I shiggy diggy no bibbly etc.

>>21928301
Maybe you could bring her our for special gaming occasions. Like a really fancy set of china. Have to give her something to look forward to.

File: 1354853918828.jpg-(143 KB, 748x422, 1249851424.jpg)

>>21928304

>>21928322
>shitposting
Yeah, she may be a namefag, but she does make cool stuff.

>>21928240
That looks like a womb.

>>21928350
She's also shit at history
And that's inexcusable

Rolled 20

>>21928361
maybe its a shark's brain?

>>21928301
But if she has regular contact with your group, they could get infected as well. You have to consider your group's health as well. Can't spread the contagion.

We're keeping her in the basement, you know, for... medical reasons.

>>21928304
Those nails are disgusting.

>>21928304
What, or who, is an esh esh?

>>21928304
Esh Esh got confirmed as a man bro.

>>21928387
>Not knowing who Esh Esh is.
Damn it anon, pay attention.

>>21928387
esh esh is a namefag with an online store with things like fuzzy dice bags who occasionally has raffles on /tg/ to give away free stuff

>>21928407
Now you're just bull shitting.

>>21927845
This is no laughing matter! She might die!

>>21928387
That wonderful hand in the picture is an esh-esh. She's pretty much the premier make-it-yourselfer of /tg/, and is amazing enough to do raffles of some of her things. Prizes have included Link hat, a monster dice bag, and a dice and paper holding kit that looks like and rolls up like a thieves tool kit. She also sells her stuff online.

>>21928407
I wouldn't be surprised with hands like that. Eurgh.

>>21928382

So you're worried about contagions but still use the dice she squeezed from her pores?

Friendly reminder. There are no namefags.

>>21928447
Yes. Because I'm more concerned about the health of the players. It's like not I'd give those dice away.

No, my dice. Mine. Need them. Is mine. Need all the dice. All of them.

>>21928384
Seriously. those are the worst french tips I've ever seen, did...she(?) do them her(?)self?

With fucking whiteout?

>>21928468
Need to build a house.

>>21928464
Sadly Namefags provoke some pretty serious responses from people on both sides even when they aren't themselves present.

Derailing perfectly good threads about holding a sick girl against her will in the process.

>>21928468
>>21928447
You could spray them down with rubbing alcohol first.

>>21928384
>>21928474
>/tg/ - Fashion

>>21928478
As I said. There are no namefags. The friendly rule that makes all threads stay away shitstorms.

>>21928488
Actually, nail care.

This shit is important.

>>21928430
>>21928446
Meh I can't be assed to go look it up but apparently there's some shit about it in the archives.

>>21928488
You dont need /fa/ to know a goddamn mongrel claw when you see one.

File: 1354854665709.png-(27 KB, 298x279, stop it boner.png)

You sure this wasn't /d/?

>>21928486
Strong vinegar would work as well. Though the smell wouldn't be that pleasant. Might even be able to sell them in bulk if you want to, get dice girl some nice supplements.

>>21928443
Too bad most of it looks like shit--which would almost be excusable if it wasn't all horrendously overpriced*.

*I've worked in many an art gallery and many a consignment shop. We would laugh at any artist that tried to pull off those prices with those products...at least, as long as she wasn't renting a ton of space, then we'll gladly take her money and let the crap rot.

File: 1354854855720.jpg-(41 KB, 611x474, 56.jpg)

>>21928501
>/d/ is basically a less interesting /tg/, bro

>>21928499
Maybe she plays guitar?

>>21928513
Are you saying dice girl needs a boob-job?

>>21928534
>those giant orb earrings
how the hell is her head staying up

File: 1354854931903.jpg-(175 KB, 1000x1000, 1349640464535.jpg)

How do you think we get dice?
Some will tell you that dice are made out of plastics or some other nonorganic substance. But in truth dice are really large benign tumors that are grown from infected non-neckbears. They become extremely hard once they pierce out of the skin, making them easier to pluck out. In countries with less restrictive laws about indentured dice-growing there are entire farms of people being harvested for dice and then sent off around the world to supply fa/tg/uys with the dice they need to game. Not all neckbears know this so try to keep it on the down low, don't want any dice-slave freedom movements or anything getting in the way of the trade.

>>21928513
A-anon, I-i pushed out some extra d-d6s today, m-maybe you could get me o-only w-war?

>>21928547
I thought those were part of her hat?

>>21928532
There are no namefags.

>>21928541
Supplement books. You know, with the words and the pictures and the roleplaying mechanics.

Sweating dice might complicate breast enlargement surgery somewhat.

>>21928555
Why does this give me a boner? Ah well.

>>21928577
Or it might give her more area to squeeze dice out of... we need to get this girl on a diet of bacon and soda

>>21927754
You know, I wonder... Could her condition be controlled or shaped, so that she could pop out other dice, like d12s? Like, if we exert her and make her sweath, would we get d4s instead, because her body would pump out dice at a faster rate?

>>21928590
Silly anon. Whilst it might increase the surface area for dice to be produced from, it wouldn't increase the dice production rate as there would be no major increase in the raw materials needed. For that you would need to feed her edible polymers and cellulose.

>>21928553
This sounds like inspiration for a new setting. Commodities grown from people on an industrialized level for the more powerful kingdoms. Take notes from the Chocolate and coffee industries for realism since its basically the same deal, one detail different.

>>21928595
So, here's how it works. You have hot, sweaty butt-sex to get dice smaller than d6. To ge tdice greater than d6, you need to lower her body temperature, so that she'll be less inclined to sweat out dice.

>>21928752
You mean essentially allowing the materials necessary for die construction to pool up in her body?
... well, looks like I need to find a system that uses nothing but d4s.

>>21928763
Crab Truckers is our friend there.

>>21928752
Have to keep her well hydrated as well. And certain herbs like ginger can also help induce perspiration. And keeping a high humidity as well.

>>21928752
So lock her in a meat locker to get d100s

>>21928776
Crab Truckers is probably the only game system I can declare "totally fucking retarded" and still want to play.

>>21928752
Okay, try to hold out with me on this because it's a little freaky... but what about missionary position with cuddling afterwards? What kind of dice would that get me?

>>21928800
>put her in cryo stasis for a few years
>something goes wrong, she's stuck down there for hundreds of years
>is discovered in the far future
>they unthaw her
>d1,000,000,000,000,000 bursts out of her chest
>it breaks open to reveal the first face hugger
STILL BETTER THAN PROMETHIUS

>>21928816
None, you would get only a deep and unshakeable feeling of shame.

>>21928824
Hopefully by the far future there will be a game system to go with the d1,000,000,000,000,000

Probably FATAL 2nd Edition

>>21928816
Seeing as sex is actually a good form of exercise, probably dice of the smaller variety. d4s, d6s, maybe some d8s.

But ewww dude. Ewwww.

>>21928816
d1s, which is just a marble

>this thread

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN FUCK DID I JUST READ

>>21928816
Well, she'd be cooling down after that, so you'd probably get d5s, since it would be an intermediate stage between super-hot sex and normal behavior.

>>21928873
/tg/ - If you can't beat it, fuck it.

>>21928873
get your vaccinations

>>21928883
and if you can beat it, fuck it

>>21928883

Or do both. And then invent other, new, great scientific ways to interact with each other.

>>21928883

I'd rather role to seduce dragon.

>>21928289
Charles! Is that you?!?!

First of all,
>/a/
>she
Haha, oh god, what.

Second of all: I nave a freshly acquired fetish.

>>21928547
They are filled with air, just like her brain.

Well, that's my 1d20 fetishes per hour acquired from this one thread alone. Great job everyone.

>>21928407
I suspected as much in the last giveaway thread.

So, is this dice-thing an STD or what?

>>21928958
>caring about actual gender
You know basically everyone here frequents /d/ too, right

>>21929158
if so we don't need to worry about /a/ spreading it, or /tg/ for that matter

>>21928382
You don't understand, if they catch the disease, you can lock them up with the girl!
DICE FOR THE DICE GOD!

>>21929158
Seeing as you can be vaccinated against it, probably about as infectious as chicken pox, though more permanent it seems. So you could probably get it from having sex because of the close contact if you're not vaccinated.

File: 1354858751671.jpg-(46 KB, 600x555, kharnhaetfags.jpg)

>>21929202
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL TH-
waitwhatthefuckisgoingoninthisthread.

>>21929256
Serious discussion of the social implications of newly developing illnesses...

Who the fuck am I kidding? I have absolutely no fucking idea.

>>21929301
Less contemplation, more shameful fapping.

>>21929323
Need more fap material for that.

>>21928555
Anon, c-could I t-try a session p-please? I-I've made a lot of d-dice today and it's b-been a w-while since I last m-made a c-character. It w-would be fun to DM with y-you.

>>21929484
I wouldn't be able to say no...

>>21929484
You want to play? Sure!
Lemme see your character sheet.

File: 1354860944104.jpg-(88 KB, 641x534, Bueno.jpg)

>>21929484
Sure, but I need a few more d4s for tonight's session and I didn't buy any lube...

>>21928339
That would be a different namefag.

>>21928824
must have been a bitch to find facehugger on a d1,000,000,000,000,000 encounter table.

>>21929199
If it's an STD and /tg/ gets it... /x/, /d/, it's going all over the place.