>>22021634
> THE ASSASSIN IS A WEREBOAR
I wish more DMs were this fun...

>>22021634
have his warcry be "SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!"

>>22021717
I actually will as a seal from /tg/.

File: 1355393527795.png-(4.19 MB, 1280x1786, bebop_by_sharpwriter-d39pl6j.png)

Holy shit have I got you covered, OP!

D&D or pathfinder?

Just did this:

While trying to locate the main buildings such as the tavern in the surrounding area, there is a sudden commotion, the cloaked man has murdered the woman, two guards who were stationed at the entrance to the town take a step forward before something odd becomes clearly apparent. The man’s face has become twisted and his nose has been pushed out from his head. Suddenly a small patch of black fur grows on his face and covers his whole body. His medium sized body has grown tall and muscular. His nose could no longer be called a nose, rather a snout and his ears have become a bright pink. This now pig-like giant man looks the guards right in the eyes and screams “I am Oinkbane the Deadly, and you will now suffer my SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!”

The PCs reaction should be priceless.

>>22021917
D&D, I'm running a 4e campaign to introduce some of my friends who grew up on CRPGs and fantasy novels to the idea of P&P

File: 1355393814967.jpg-(18 KB, 279x390, 1315300655244.jpg)

>>22021925
> I am Oinkbane the Deadly, and you will now suffer my SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!

File: 1355394186011.png-(44 KB, 150x179, 1337547542820.png)

>>22021717
>>22021925
Oh, you silly fucking cunts. I am stealing this so hard.

>>22021925
> Oinkbane the Deadly
Damn it, that bit made me lose it so hard

>>22021925
Oinkbane, bane of the oinks, is upon you!

>>22021936
>>22021991
When trying to sneak up on someone he mutters "sneaky-sneaky gets it done" loud enough for everyone to hear.

Poison Use: He smashes a vial of toxin in someones face whilst yelling "My tactics are too subtle for you!"

>>22021925
>>22022037
Damn it, this is why I could never leave this board

>>22022037
>"My tactics are too subtle for you!"
MY SIDES

File: 1355395963188.png-(502 KB, 800x1517, Oinkbane.png)

Saved for posterity.

It is your sworn duty to report on how this encounter goes down.

>>22022221
Will do

File: 1355396970985.jpg-(119 KB, 750x922, 1345490732392.jpg)

I once used a wereboar assassin. He charged in his boar form and PCs thought that they're just dealing with a random monster boar. Wereboar almost managed to kill his target (party barbarian, who offended the evil ruler of one city they visited earlier). Well, he crippled barbarian's horse with a charge, attacked the barbarian. Barbarian tried to grapple the boar and wrestle with it. Then wereboar changed his form to the hybrid form, won grapple and started to strangle the barbarian. By that time others rushed to help and eventually brought the wereboar down, but barbarian was almost strangled to death. Then monstrous boar creature's corpse turned to a body of a strapping young lad. Players were creeped out. The guy was naked and the only clue was a tattoo on his back...

So, yeah, wereboars are great shock trooper-style assassins. Have fun with your encounter, OP!

File: 1355397500641.png-(327 KB, 724x414, KNIFE_EYE_ATTACK_by_ToFB_(...).png)

OP, an other way for your Wereboar assassin to attack.
> pic related

> Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a wealthy individual
> Man comes back after a long day
> Oinkbane stands in the center of the room, a blanket over his head
> Sign on the blanket reads "not an assassin"
> "Dammit, this is the third time this week. Just come out."
> Oinkbane doesn't move, shuffles a little to the right.
> "I know you're under that."
> "No you don't."
> "Yes I do, I didn't have a large talking lump in the middle of my livingroom this morning."
> Man walks over and pulls off the blanket, revealing a stack of pillows.
> For a moment he merely stands there confused.
> Oinkbane drops from the ceiling wielding, swinging an oversized mallet back and forth
> "SNEAK ATTACK!!!"

>>22022376


Fucking genius.

>>22022376
People think he is just a buffoon, but in actual fact he is the GREATEST ASSASSIN EVER

>>22022376
MAI SAIDUUUUUS

>>22022376
Oh for fucks sake. I needed my sides today!

>>22022376

Yes. A thousand times Yes.

File: 1355398148514.jpg-(30 KB, 520x379, WileEgenius.jpg)

>>22022376

I think I've just found my new recurring villain for EVERY SINGLE CAMPAIGN I EVER RUN AGAIN.

>>22022376
and thus, a legend was born

> Oinkbane needs to kill another wealthy individual.
> He is having an enormous dinner party.
> He knows about the assassination and so has someone tasting all his food.
> "Sir, the food is clean."
> "And the wine?"
> "Yes sir, and the wine."
> Suddenly they bring out the main course, a roasted boar, it's still under the cover.
> The wealthy lord realizes the were boards plans and stares down the platter.
> Motions for his guards to destroy it.
> The captain of the guard walk over and stabs through the metal covering a few times.
> The lord looks satisfied, walks over and pulls off the covering.
> Just a normal roast boar.
> From behind him comes the sound of breaking glass, Oinkbane swinging into the room on a rope.
> "MY TACTICS ARE TOO INGENIOUS!"


(This one seemed like more of a miss)

>>22022476
"subtle" would have been better than "ingenious" to be frank, but keep them coming these are hilarious

>>22022376

>oinkbane must assassinate a duke guarded by an army
>he infiltrates the castle where the duke is at
>the duke makes his way to hos chamber
>looks at one of the guards and realizes he kind of looks funny
>looks closer to get a better inspection
>"your not one of my guards!"
>oinkbane suddenly crashes through the wall yelling "My tactics are too subtle for you!"

He kind of reminds me of Black Star from Soul Eater. He's a ninja that blows his cover before attacking.

His tactics are subtle! His style is ingenious! He's ferocious and he's come to assassinate your nobility!

Praise be to OINKBANE THE DEADLY!

>King is passing by farm to stay at local inn
>Notices the farm's enclosure for pigs.
>Notices that one of the pigs is, in fact, a wereboar, on his hands and knees, rooting around.
>Turns to his guard. "Oh great, it's this fucker we've been hearing about, go deal with him."
>His guard is suddenly Oinkbane.
>MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!

> Oinkbane was hired to assassinate a man, and make it look like an accident
> After a week the man disappears.
> No one sees him for days.
> Finally a few people go to check his house, they find him on the floor, head smashed.
> A note sits next to the body, barely legible.
> "I WUZ NOT ASSASSINATED."
> As they look at each other confused they hear a snort from out in the street.
> "TOO SUBTLE!!"

>>22022476
>>22022499
>>22022540
>>22022545

You guys are fucking killing me with laughter. Oh god, maybe.this was oinkbanes plan, MAYBE HE IS TOO SUBTLE.

>Wealthy merchant walking down city street at night.
>Pauses, as he sees something in the middle of the road.
>There is a very clearly marked X, painted in white, in the middle of the road.
>Merchants turns, takes side alley.
>Keeps walking
>Finds another big white X in his path.
>Quickly takes a different road.
>Nearly home
>Finds big white X in front of his door.
>Takes the back door in, has his guards comb the house
>This potential assassin is clearly a retard
>Goes upstairs, gets in bed
>Puts head on pillow
>Some shit is on the pillow
>Turns on the light, it's white paint.
>Oinkbane crashes through the window
>Screaming "MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

I can only hear these things in this voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=JftJi3ag5Mc#t=492s

File: 1355399536041.jpg-(33 KB, 390x344, WatPigeon.jpg)

>>22022570

>Target is walking home
>Big fucker making oinking noises is following him
>Not being fooled
>Calls the cops
>Cops come pull big oinking fucker away
>Goes home
>Eats Dinner
>Watches some porn online
>Plays some vidya
>Goes to /tg/
>Sees thread on wereboar assassin
>Reads thread
>Laughs self nearly to death
>Regains sides
>Drinks some Coke
>Does some work on the computer
>Browses other /tg/ threads
>Turns off computer
>Oinksbane smashes through ceiling.
>"MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

>>22022590
Clearly his tactics are too subtle for you.

> Oinkbane is one again hired to kill someone.
> A wealthy merchant hears a knock on his door, there is a large crate on his door step.
> On the side painted crudely are the words "IZ NOT AN ASSASSIN."
> "I didn't order anything."
> After a listening at the crate he hears breathing inside.
> Takes the crate inside.
> Opens up the crate.
> Filled with several sheep.
> Oinkbane rolls out from under the man's bed
> Smacks him on the back of the head with his hammer.
> "SNEAK ATTACK!!!"

>Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a crime lord
>Day of the crime lord's daughter's wedding
>Crime lord is greeting people, daughter and groom are dancing
>One of the appitizer tables begins moving, guards move to intercept.
>Oinkbane jumps out of the wedding cake, crushing the crime lord's skull.
>"TOOOOO SUBTLE!"

>>22022620

>Oinkbane slowly crawls out from under the bed
>"SNEAK ATAAAAAAAAAACK"

>Princess about to meet her groom-to-be
>Arranged marriage, never met him before
>Guards everywhere
>She's sat on a throne on a raised dais
>Groom comes in
>he's rather ugly-looking, piglike face, hairy
>guards crowd around him, suspicious, leaving few guards near the princess
>OinkBane bursts out of floor of dais, kills princess
>"My tactics are too subtle for you!"
>Later at bar, he pays the ugly guy his money for being a decoy.

I dunno, this guy sounds kinda smart.

>>22022623
> Oinkbane gets hired to do another wedding assassination
> The bride's father walks her up the isle
> Grooms looks happy
> Both look happily at each other as the priest begins speaking
> Snort snort snort
> Preist finishes clearing his throat and begins.
> "Do you ma'am, take this man to be your la--"
> A wan smashes through one of the walls.
> Oinkbane jumps out of the door and throws himself towards the father.
> "TOO SUBTLE!"

>> Local baron has been causing trouble
>> Bounty placed on his head
>> One day a giant wooden boar on wheels appears
>> A note saying ' I IZ PRESENT'
>> Baron takes it into his castle
>> Guards examine it carefully
>> Oinkbane breaks down castle gates
>> Kills baron with mallet
>> "TOOOO SUBTLE"

File: 1355400180748.jpg-(30 KB, 393x480, WelcomeToTheGame.jpg)

>>22022652
Oinkbane is an Adonis in his human form.

OP here, I left the thread to work and campaign and came back to this. I love you /tg/, from the bottom of my heart.

>>22022652
Of course he is smart, he is the greatest assassin on the continent. No one is out of his reach, no one is beyond his tactics.

Guys... I think he needs a sidekick.

A were rat named Skitters who is a cowardly theif? also he isn't a human turned rat, rather a rat turned human?

Or a normal human names Steve who is suspiciously out of place for no matter what setting he is in?

>Rich merchant hears of assassination attempt
>increases sentries and guardsmen
>entire fort outfitted
>armed to the teeth
>receive letter from courier
>it's from Oinkbane
>inside, just the words TOO SUBTLE
>then, nothing
>4 weeks later, another letter arrives
>inside, SNEAK ATTACK
>nothing again
>1 more month
>third letter
>picture of the merchant, dead
>"merchant" has been Oinkbane in disguise for the past month

>Oinkbane is hired to kill someone
>Its winter
>Man comes home.
>looks at the giant and small snowman the neigbour's kids must of built
>He hears loud breathing coming out of the big one
>"Is someone inside there?"
>"No"
>Man starts trying to take snow off from the huge snowman
>Suddenly Oinkbane appears through the smaller snowman
>"SNEAK ATTAAAAAACK"
>Oinkbane smashes the man's head.

>>22022682
Wouldn't Steve be that ugly guy?

This needs archiving

>>22022692
Shit just got real.

>>22022682
Steve, who never fits to the setting yet looks like the most casual and average man there is.

>>22022681
I meant "work on campaign", silly me

> Oinkbane hired to to assassinate someone over christmas
> Christmas night the man wakes up, sounds like something is on his roof.
> Walks downstairs, something is knocking soot down his chimney
> Presents sit around the tree
> Man grabs a fire poker from its place by the fire
> Suddenly a black booted foot appears in the bottom of the chimney
> Present behind the man burst open
> Oinkbane leaps out and smashes him over the head.
> "TOO SUBTLE!!!"

What kind of idiot wouldn't think it strange presents were there before santa arrived?

Oh, fuck.

We really need a drawfriend to make these into comics

File: 1355400733051.jpg-(97 KB, 500x500, 1336634810277.jpg)

>>22022659
>Oinkbane is hired to do yet another wedding assassination.
>The bride's father walks her up the isle.
>Tears and crying from the audience.
>The priest begins the ceremony.
>A huge claoked figure is pushing his way through the crowd!
>Guards move to intercept.
>Preist continues the ceremony phlegmatically.
>Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
>I do.
>Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
>The bride nods.
>There is a first breaking out between the hooded figure and the guards.
>The groom leans in and lifts the wife's veil.
>"TOO SUBTLE!" Oinkbane screams, after kissing the groom.

Okay, /tg/ you have successfully driven a joke past the fucking water table again.

>>22022714
Yup,

> In high fantasy he is dressed in jeans and a button down.
> In sci-fi he is dressed in jeans and a button down.
> In swashbuckling adventure he is dressed in a jeans and a button down.
> In horrible dystopian future he wears jeans and a button down
> In current day setting.... wears nothing but a smile

>>22021905

What the fuck did they do to Duke Nukem?

>>22022754
I understand Mutagenic Ooze was involved.
/spoiler I think it's a change for the better.

>party of adventurers have caught the ire of a corrupt lord
>a hit is called on them
>they move through the city cautiously
>as they pass through the market they spot a hideously ugly woman pushing around an enormous baby carriage with great difficulty
>party draws weapons and begin to harass the ugly woman and child
>suddenly the nearby shop window explodes, peppering the party with shards of glass and stunning them
>Oinkbane stumbles out half blind and deaf, swinging a mallet
>"THIS IS A SNEAK ATTACK"

> Oinkbane is hired to assassinate a paranoid noble
> The noble is in his heavily guarded gallery when he notices a picture of a wereboar that wasn't there previously
> Having studied Oinkbane's previous exploits, the noble knows the one place Oinkbane is definitely not is this painting so he huddles close to it
> There is a figure close to the door
> Noble orders his guards to charge it
> A hammer crushes the noble's skull at that moment, it came from the painting
> "SNEAK ATTAAAAAAAAACK!"

> Oinkbane is hired to kill a traveling merchant
> The man has heard of Oinkbane by reputation, and watches the forest
> For days as he travels nothing happens
> Finally he makes it to a city and unpacks his barrels of wine
> What's this huge barrel?
> It's much larger than the others and he didn't remember purchasing it.
> A sign of the side reads "IZ RELLY SLIPPY JUICE"
> Slowly takes it out and pulls his emergency sword from under the seat
> Stabs the casket
> No squeals, simply wine
> Where did this wine com---
> From the sky a oink rings out
> Oinkbane just dropped from holding onto the legs of several birds
> "TOO SUBTLE!"

Oinkbane's Human form?

>A contact requests for Oinkbane's services. The task? Remove the proprietor of the Whistlepig Whiskey Distillery
>Late one night, a large wooden crate with bore holes shows up at the gate to the distillery, appended with a note with the words "WhIsTLIng pIg - O BAIn" scrawled in greasepen
>Guards don't know what the fuck, but it whistles...
>... Fuck it.

>Proprietor shows up that morning with his reading glasses, paranoid but confident he'll survive the competition
>Notices the crate in the center of the warehouse, checks the arrival logs, goes pale when he reads the last entry
>motions for the guards
>Guards get their pigstickers and try to kill Oinkbane through the boreholes
>The crate shudders and screams as A HUGE WHISTLING PIG FUCKING TURNS THE CRATE AND MOB OF GUARDS INTO SPLINTERS, THEN ROOTS THROUGH THE WAREHOUSE IN A PANIC
>The Proprietor panics and runs for his office where he hides behind a novelty miniature distillery made of hammered-together copper and driftwood
>Wait, why's this miniature distillery so big?
>The lid of the mash tun pops open as two holes for very hairy, soggy arms appear
>"MY TACTICS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

>Two holes appear in the Distillery wall a half-hour later. Authorities are trying to locate the whistling pig, a novelty distillery set, the missing proprietor, and whoever made the second fucking hole.

>>22022920
He turns into a true boar and has an animated human corpse ride him so his victims attack the rider not suspecting the brains of the operations is charging at them.

>>22022920
Human form?

I just assumed he always stayed wereboar form.

>>22022937
...perfect.

File: 1355402455375.png-(200 KB, 720x480, 332410-vlcsnap_49569.png)

>>22022937
The moment I heard SNEAK ATTACK! I started thinking something like this…

Refrek Spine Snapper, you make these golden.
Some people don't yell sneak attack before the hit, some don't understand Oinkbanes subtly, but you good sir aren't aware that behind you is Oinkbane currently. TOO SUBTLE!

>>22022949
Aha, no he isn't. I knew he couldn't be behind m--
> Suddenly the sound of a wall smashing
> TOO SUBTLE!!

File: 1355402796415.png-(144 KB, 414x383, idontknowwhatthehellthisr(...).png)

>>22022933
>and whoever made the second fucking hole.
My sides have reached nirvana.

File: 1355402985458.gif-(2.41 MB, 422x237, 1337773487346.gif)

This fucking thread. My shit was lost into the Warp

File: 1355403512006.png-(11 KB, 730x621, okok714_tribute-to-broquest.png)

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html If you like it, archive it!

>>22022476
Fan-version 2.0:
> Oinkbane needs to kill another wealthy individual.
> He is having an enormous dinner party.
> He knows about the assassination and so has someone tasting all his food. He also heard that Oinkbane is a particularly ingenious assassin known for using distractions
> "Sir, the food is clean."
> "And the wine?"
> "Yes sir, and the wine."
> "Any suspicious individuals around?"
> "No sir, everyone has their invitation"
> Suddenly they bring out the main course, a roasted boar, it's still under the cover.
> The wealthy lord realizes the were-boar's plans and stares down the platter
> "Could this be... a distraction?"
> Lights go out, noise and screams are heard
> BUT WE ARE INITIATED, AREN'T WE BRUCE?
> Some servants bring candles in
> The nobleman is found dead, apparently bludgeoned to death by a roasted boar
> a greasy letter with a pig-insignia is left behind, with only these cryptic words in it:
2SUBTLE4YOU

File: 1355403609585.jpg-(208 KB, 699x610, 1339882165150.jpg)

I don't think you understand what Oinkbane is doing here. One day, people will not check the suspicious crate. And here will be there. Watching. Plotting

File: 1355403634377.jpg-(169 KB, 895x920, 1354557501972.jpg)

>ITT: sides missing everywhere

>>22023019
What the fuck is that?

>>22023117
From the artstyle, something from Wakfu.

So guys, who's stealing this idea for their next game?

>>22023142
Yes we are.

>>22023117
That is Admiral Sharkteeth Von Crazytits of the Royal Sufokian Navy.

>>22023142
Who's not stealing this idea for their next game?

>>22023142
Everyone with any halfway decent sense of fun? My Shadowrun group is gonna lose their shit with this.

File: 1355404060322.png-(135 KB, 267x259, 1318087482688.png)

>>22023142
> OP's face when he goes to his local gameshop and everyone is running campaigns with a Wereboar assassin named Oinkbane the Deadly

File: 1355404259537.jpg-(9 KB, 300x200, 300px-TheLeagueOfGentleme(...).jpg)

>>22023160
>mfw the one assassin who isn't oinkbane will become the deadliest man on the planet because he's using non subtle tactics.
as>>22023099 predicted

>Oinkbane and Steve are traveling between jobs by cart
> Oinkbane sits on top with the luggage slowly polishing his mallet
> "Hey Oinkbane?"
> "Wut?"
> Oinkbane continues to polish his hammer
> "Why do you know... use a hammer for assassination?"
> Oinkbane seems to consider this for a moment.
> "Becuz is killz more."
> Steve stares ahead over the backs of the two pigs pulling their cart.
> "But shouldn't it be... I don't know... more stealthy, like a dagger?"
> Oinkbane stares at steve.
> "Steve."
> "Yes?"
> "Wut iz an assassin's job?"
> Steve stares forward, feeling the piggy gaze, powerful enough to curl bacon, on how back.
> "Kill people?"
> "Ya, and wut kill more? Tiny pointy? Or big smashy?"
> "Yes, but shouldn't you be ste--"
> "WUT KILL MORE?"
> Steve sighs.
> "Big smashy..."
> The were board sits back satisfied.
> "TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!"

>>22023142

>stealing this idea for their next game

I'm not going to use him once, this motherfucker is going to be recurring and hard to kill. From now on, there will be TOO SUBTLE signs of him everyfuckingwhere and i will make my players deliciously paranoid and always expecting him to come out from anywhere.

File: 1355404610098.jpg-(112 KB, 600x338, 1298287523555.jpg)

>>22023185
> "Ya, and wut kill more? Tiny pointy? Or big smashy?"

>>22023195
> Group of adventurers face off against the big bad
> Defeat his multiple forms, some involving huge tentacles
> They stand triumphant, having saved the country
> Collect enormous amounts of treasure and what not.
> At the award ceremony the princess comes up to the party leader, a veil covering her face
> She hands him a note.
> "I was told, I needed to give this to you."
> All the note says "TOO SUBTLE"
> The party leader looks around in panic, lifts the princess veil
> Just a normal princess
> Looks around at all the windows... no crashing glass
> Looks in the treasure, no were boar
> Checks the food, no pork on the menu
> No large crates around...
> Where could he be?
> A small oink comes from next to him
> TOO
> SUBTLE
> FOR
> YOU
> The party was never heard from again

>>22022754
Duke? DUKE?

That's Bebop, my dear boyos. It's like nobody lived during late 80s-90s.

>>22023195
>PC's have encountered Oinkbane before and barely escaped with their lives. They alone know his subtle ways
>go to a new city to start over and lie low
>get recruited by the local lord for a covert mission
>There have been a spate of mysterious and brutal deaths in the city
>the deaths are so brutal it's assumed only an intelligent animal could have done such damage yet escaped each time
>The PC's know better
>the PCs have tracked it down to a gigantic warehouse
>smashed equipment is everywhere
"I…I roll to track"
>the trail of destruction leads to a closed loading bay
>bloody drag marks lead to the closed doors
>PC's spend half an hour summoning up their courage to run in
>PC's slowly open the door… and breathe a sigh of relief
"Will you look at that! It's just a White Dragon! Wonder how nobody saw it
>suddenly the dragon opens it's eyes and desperately strains against the chain holding it there, looking at a spot behind the PC's in terror
>The door slams shut behind them
"TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!"

>>22023245
This is so subtle that I don't understand what the fuck happened

File: 1355405184109.gif-(496 KB, 500x240, emote_134553981355.gif)

>>22022754
Squad broken. Why, Anon.

Why.

>>22023264
An entire campaign spent running away from Oinkbane? There is no escape from him, just staving off the inevitable....

This could be made extremely fun.

File: 1355405271689.jpg-(10 KB, 251x249, 1328222435312.jpg)

God help us if Oinkbane decides to multiclass

>>22023291
An illusionist Oinkbane could wipe out continents.

>>22023272
One of the party members, friend.

What level is he anyway?

>>22023314
>>22023300
In my head, Oinkbane doesn't have a level. He is like the Lady of Pain, statless and all powerful. Every action TOO SUBLE FOR YOU.

>Man suspects Oinkbane is after him
>Buys a massive fortress, guards, magical security out the wazoo
>Has all mysterious crates, oinking strangers, ominous snowmen, veiled women, moving trees, pillow forts, paintings, Steves, large pigs, butcher shops and overly suspicious bushes in the area exterminated with extreme prejudice
>Lives a lonely, paranoid life
>Old and in bed, exhausted and tired
>Man in Dark Robes approach
>GET IN THE FUCKING BAG
>What's in the bag?
>WHAT'S IN THE BAG? A FUCKING PONY WITH RIBBONS, THAT'S WHAT, FUCK YOU. NOW GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>Old Man feebly opens the bag
>Oinkbane leaps out of the bag
>"TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

>>22023272
TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU

File: 1355405816240.jpg-(84 KB, 550x543, 1325616710729.jpg)

Could Oinkbane outtactic Creed?
>>22023345
We've reached critical levels of subtlety

>>22023345
>Old and in bed, exhausted and at edge of death
>Hooded cleric walks in to ease him into afterlife
>Old man realizes he never called a cleric
>Pulls off the hood and reveals a boom
>Oinkbane's head appears from under the bed
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU

>>22023291
> Steve and Oinkbane have made camp for the night
> "Oinkbane, what are you doing?"
> The were boar is standing next to the fire waving his arms about.
> "Magic, now shut yer trap. Yous gonna break my consertrashion."
> "Oinkbane, you know doing magic is a bit harder than th--"
> Oinkbane strikes another pose, pushing his hands forward in interrupt them.
> "Them damn wizards always manage ter do et."
> Oinkbane continues to waves his hands about.
> "Oinkbane, you need training to do magic."
> "Naw, it's all in da robes and sum such."
> Steve looks down, sees Oinkbane is in the dress of some princess they assassinated earlier that week.
> "I really don--"
> Oinkbane shouts to interrupt him.
> "I know, it'z da magic words!"
> Steve shakes his head and goes back to sleep.
> Four hours later the two of them are leaving the forest at top speed, most of it burnt down.
> Oinkbane stands on the back, a beaver strapped to his jaw
> "IT WUZ DA BEARD, NOT DA DRESS!!"
> "TOOOOOoooooo---"
> His cry disappears into the night as he throws fireballs into the surrounding woods.

>>22023345
I don't think Asshole Death would let Oinkbane pull that off, and I don't think Oinkbane would stoop that low.

When the castle built to keep him out was built, he disguised himself as the brickwork.

>>22023369
>Oinkbane stands on the back, a beaver strapped to his jaw
> "IT WUZ DA BEARD, NOT DA DRESS!!"
Lost it.

>>22023376
Or as the dying man himself.

>>22023362
Tzeentch would look on in fear at such a terrifying battle.

>>22023376
Why would he assasinate him years after given the contract anyway?

>>22023407
Oinkbane never leaves a job unfinished

>>22023407
Because Oinkbane always brings home the bacon.

>>22023362
>Abbadon the Despoiler lands on Cadia.
>Marches his forces towards the Capital
>Suddenly finds a mysterious shack standing in the middle of the warzone, brightly painted and declaring "FREE ARMZ INCIDE"
>CREED, OF COURSE!
>Abbadon has forces demolish shack
>Suddenly, Kharn rips off his helmet, revealing wereboar features
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
>Abadon is mercilessly beaten, but Oinkbane is obliterated in a storm of bolter shells
>Enraged, Abbadon kicks the corpse
>A Baneblade falls out
>CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!
>Baneblade runs over Abbadon and destroys his guard, but is crippled and wrecked.
>Suddenly hatch on Baneblade pops open
>Oinkbane Leaps out
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
>Abbadon is beaten by a hammer
>Khorne, help me!
>Portal to the Warp opens, summoning a demon to aid him
>It is only a confused Steve
>CREEEEEED?!?!?!

>>22023412
> Bacon
This thread man, this thread.

>>22023407
It's too subtle for you to understand.

>>22023416
This is like Inception but with tactical genius and manpigs.

File: 1355406409278.png-(193 KB, 351x287, 1333421931610.png)

>>22023416
>A Baneblade falls out
Oh god

>>22023416
Oh good lord, my miiiiiiind.

>>22023427

We need to go subtler.

>>22023427
Just wait until wereboars are declared official Abhumans, fit for recruitment into the Imperial Guard.

>>22023437
>And suddenly, all of /tg/ was converting Oinkbane to use as Sly Marbo

OP here, I just finished the first dungeon crawl of the campaign, there are no mentions of a wereboar after the party "defeats" Oinkbane, but when the part examines the desk in the final chamber, there will a piece of parchment that reads "Too subtle?", dated one day after their encounter with Oinkbane.

>>22022942
the truth is, no one knows what his human form looks like - it's how he manages to set up these insanely complex assassinations.

Anyone could be Oinkbane.

Anyone.

>>22023460
No anon, YOU are the Oinkbane!

>>22023460
No. The Truth is Oinkbane has no human ONE form.

>>22023468
>>22023460
This just got way too subtle for me.

File: 1355406952148.gif-(988 KB, 256x192, 1340730074350.gif)

>>22023460
Oh lawds, I'm going to enjoy giving THAT little gem to my PC's
>their many faces when

> Planet is being invaded by tyranids
> Guardsmen have been terrorized by lictors for days
> Rumons that the death leaper is there
> Guards sitting around camp, hearing scratches in the walls
> Suddenly enormous crashes come from outside
> A lictor jumps out, ready to scythe a guard
> TOO SUBTLE
> Oinkbane bursts through an air vent and kicks the lictor in the face
> Another lictor jumps out to slice him
> Oinkbane was actually a cleverly sculpted pile of ork droppings
> Oinkbane bursts through the ceiling and snaps the lictor's neck
> A third lictor comes out of a air vent and smacks Oinkbane out the window
> Is in a hive city so it's a several thousand food drop
> As oinkbane flies out the window he flies through the other
> "SNEAK ATTACK!!"
> Four days later the entire hive fleet has been tuned back, including an entire hive ship mysteriously exploding in on itself....

That was the end of Hive Fleet: Gullinbursti.

File: 1355407171314.gif-(1.22 MB, 300x163, Union.gif)

>>22023480
Or maybe they get excited?

>Guards on watch for Oinkbane, protecting their liege.
>Find suspicious looking guy loitering around town
>Arrest Steve
>Question Steve about the whereabouts of Oinkbane
>Steve knows nothing
>Head guard - "Wait... is Oinkbane a Wereboar? This could be Oinkbane!"
>Hapless Steve is beaten up by guards
>Suddenly window is smashed by giant wereboar
>Guards turn and begin to combat Oinkbane
>Oinkbane lays on the floor whimpering
>Turns out its Steve in an oversized Wereboar costume
>If this is Steve...
>Oinkbane rips off his undersized Steve costume
>"TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU"

File: 1355407352875.png-(156 KB, 438x400, Eldritch I tell you what.png)

>>22023507
>Oinkbane rips off his undersized Steve costume

>>22023519
THE BEARD WAS MAGIC

File: 1355407607354.png-(140 KB, 300x335, 1342780995090.png)

>>22023185

“Welcome to our guild acolyte. Your skills in stealth will be of great use here.” The assassin master Agropos said while waving the acolyte into the sanctum. The young recruit gulped as he slowly walked inside. “There is no need to fear. Your death now would be nothing more than a cruel joke. And our gods have no sense of humor.”
Another master chortles after hearing that, “You lie fool. Do not forget about the chosen of the Western Sanctum.”
“WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT THING!” Agropos screamed. “Ignore him! He speaks of CRAZY THINGS!” Agropos mimed waving his hands over his hooded head wildly. “ALL THE TIME! There. Is. Nothing. To. Worry. About!”
“Uh…yes master. Of course,” the acolyte replied. Agropos composed himself and turned. Motioning with his hand he guided the young man deeper inside. As they left the entrance the other master started making soft ‘oinking’ noises.
The acolyte was anointed without much to do. Three masters informed him of the true skills of the assassin: Stealth, Dedication, Subltly. At that last one the master that oinked laughed a bit earning a glare from Agropos.
“To prove yourself acolyte, you must slay this woman.” Agropos revealed a drawing of exquisite detail. “Slay her and claim the green gem from her pendant and you will be one of us.”
“Thank you, master. I will not fail you.”

>cont.

>20 years from now to the day
>Scrolling /tg/
>See a post with a barrel as the picture
>Title is "Do you know what this is?"
>sit confused, the a noise behind me
>"SNEEEEEEAAAKK ATTAAACK"
>Oinkbane kills me and posts >"TOOSUBTLEFORYOU"

>>22023487
let's get this straight.
Oinkbane
>changes his appearence at will
>is a master of tactics and stealth
>has unstoppable physical strength
>can predict events far in advance
>manipulates his hapless foes so he can kill them quicker

all we need is for him to be voiced by Scott McNeil and we can then confirm he's Alpharius.
Or Omegon.
Or Both.

>>22023539

No, Alpharius is Oinkbane.

>>22023539
I thought I was Alpharius?

>>22023457
OP here again, here is the final words I leave my group with at the end of the session:

You take a quick look at the drow camp. It is mostly filled with basic survival gear, but the leader had a desk for writing letters to communicate with someone. Taking a quick look you notice that most of the content is too complex to be examined in this dungeon without context, so you decide to take all the letters. Two pieces of paper catch your eye however, they are pinned to the wall and each have only one word in a deep black ink. The one on the left says “Sneak”, and the other “Attack”. The party satisfied they have gathered enough information, return above ground.

>>22023537

>Powerful Wizard learns he is being targeted by Oinkbane.
>Scoffs at the idea of being undone by some pitiful wereboar.
>Sequesters himself inside his mighty wizard tower.
>Begins using divining magic to see what the assassin has been up to recently.
>Finds Oinksbane entering the shop the wizard regularly purchases his food from.
>Casts a spell to seal off the kitchen and detect any danger in his food.
>Sees Oinkbane then head to the shop where the wizard purchases his robes and hats.
>Casts a spell to make sure his clothes are not a danger, or a cleverly disguised wereboar.
>Sees Oinkbane visiting a metalworking shop to purchase a set of tools for cutting through metal.
>Casts a spell to turn his legion of iron golems transparent so they could not possibly hide the assassin within.
>Finally sees Oinksbane standing in a field somewhere far from the tower.
>"Ok, Steve, Hit it!"
>Wizard hears an unearthly loud creaking of wood and iron in the distance.
>Looks out window.
>Horizon is filled with the rapidly growing specks of boulders fired from what must have been an ungodly number of trebuchets.
>In the moment before the tower is obliterated utterly, the Wizard notices, on the first stone to come into view, something carved in the side.
>"TOO"

File: 1355407865178.png-(10 KB, 204x155, 1326575284942.png)

>>22023554

File: 1355407866415.jpg-(9 KB, 228x251, 1353505712132.jpg)

First Incest Smith, now Oinkbane. Fuck me, /tg/ is on a serious roll this month

>Woke up
>Found this thread

I love you /tg/.

What if Oinkbane had a brother?
Would he be the exact opposite action-wise?
Porkbane, maybe?

>>22023539
>changes his appearence at will
Just a master of disguise
>is a master of tactics and stealth
Yes
>has unstoppable physical strength
Not unstoppalbe, just an average wereboar with a big hammer
>can predict events far in advance
No, their foes just understimate him every fucking time
>manipulates his hapless foes so he can kill them quicker
No, his tactics are just to subtle for you.

Oinkbane decides to multiclass as a bard

> Steve stumbles out of his tent, hands clamped over his ears
> "Oh god, Oinkbane! I said no assassinating before sun up!"
> Finds the were boar sitting on a rock with a strange sack with tubes.
> "Oinkbane!"
> He continues the play
> "OINKBANE!!!"
> The pig man stops.
> "Wut, why you yellin'?"
> "What are you doing?"
> The were boar shows the sack, it looks like a fleshy bladder.
> "I wuz juss thinkin', ya know how den pretty bois in the bars always do dat singin'."
> "...yes?"
> "Well, they're always sayin' they're gonna stab dem lady's with their sword dat night..."
> Oh god no, thought Steve.
> "If dem pretty bois can do it with just dat stupid lute then me and me pipes should be able to get me assassinations done twice as fast if I can just play."
> Steve starred from the pipes to wereboar
> "I mean day don't look like assassins, so if a proper one does the stabbin'."
> Steve turned around, and walked back towards camp.
> Maybe some things were just TOO SUBTLE.

>>22023571
Nono it should be "Look at the filename"
Filename is "Look at the email"
Email is a postnumber in another thread
TOO SUBTLE

>>22023555
Continued.

>Wizard panics, but summons up a giant wall of ice to capture the boulders mere feet before they impact.
>Takes a deep breath to calm himself.
>From within the ice-wall one of the boulders begins to shake.
>The actually-paper-mache boulder and the ice around it burst as a furiously flailing wereboar bursts out.
>"SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

>>22023571
Oh shit I looked

He's behind me isn't he?

>>22023586
He's always behind you, looking at a silly picture doesn't change that.

>>22023564
>Target heads into the office
>Sits down and does some work
>Looks to his water cooler and sees what looks to be a wereboar hiding in it.
>Freaks out and has it dismantled
>Nothing is in it
>Goes back to desk
>Looks up, wereboar is there
>Porkbane "Uhh.... you need to file this."
>Worker is disappointed by the mild inconvenience of extra work
>Oinkbane smashes through cubicle, caving in target's head
>"TOO SUBTLE FOR... OH FUCK ME, IT'S YOU
>Porkbane tears up
>"You don't have to mock me because I took a stable job!"
>ASSASSING IS STABLE. I KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE IN STABLES

File: 1355408250420.jpg-(52 KB, 640x480, it_spins.jpg)

>>22023577
>Maybe some things were just TOO SUBTLE.

I lost it

>>22023416
lost it on sneak attack from the baneblade

File: 1355408360495.gif-(503 KB, 225x225, 1343995320468.gif)

>>22023594
>I KILL LOTS OF PEOPLE IN STABLES

>>22023536
He stood on the roof of the opposite building just beyond his target’s compound. The massive stone wall built as if protecting a king or noble instead of a mere paranoid merchant. With a skillful shot from his crossbow he made a zipline over the wall, beyond the view of the guards. Crossing to the main building’s roof he prepared to infiltrate when a whistle made him freeze.

“INTRUDER! INTRUDER!” a guard’s voice rang out. Whirling the acolyte tried desperately to see how they could have seen him. Did he fly over too low? “MARK YOURSELF!”

“Wait,” he thought, “That’s coming from the courtyard.” Leaning over the edge to see he watched as over a dozen guards surrounded a young girl with a basket of bread. “What is she? A vampire?”

“WHO SENT YOU CHILD!”

The girl, obviously frightened shook violently. The shudders increased and she fell to her knees crying, dropping her basket and sending the bread roll tumbling out, as the woman he had been sent to kill and a man who may have been her husband stormed out.

“You fools! She still lives! He’s coming! The note!”

“But sir…she’s only a girl. And the basket-”

“SHE HAS A BASKET! CHECK IT!” the man screeched. The guards immediately began hacking the bread and its wicker container to pieces.

“Damn,” the acolyte grunted. “With them on guard like this I’ll never-”

“nnnnn”

“By the dark?” he asked as the sound grew louder.

“nnnnnNNNNNNNNEAAAAAAAAAK!” A brown blur flew from the sky. It had the rough shape of a man but was built and bulky in unnatural ways. The form slammed like the fist of a god into the man, squashing him into a smear across the ground. “ATTACK!”

>cont.

File: 1355408424716.jpg-(17 KB, 299x518, i can rejoice to this.jpg)

>>22023594

>>22022682
>Man acquires precious jewel
>Places precious jewel in vault.
>Places guards in front of vault
>Gets letter
>Opens it up
>Picture of jewel... taken from inside vault
>Rushes to vault
>On vault is sign "FREE CATGRL INCIDE"
>Has guards open vault
>Inside is a suddenly dismayed girl with rat-ears and tail
>Guards and man rush in to apprehend her.
>Vault door slams shut
>From out of the floor of the vault bursts Oinkbane
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
>Ratgirl sobs
> "Why do you keep ruining my heists?"
>YOU ARE A GOOD ASSASSIN ASSASSTANT, CATGIRL, SKITTERS
>"I'm a Ratgirl! And I'm not your assistant!"
>STEVE IS MAKING HOTDOGS BACK AT CAMP CATGIRL
>"I don't like hotdogs!"
>I WOULD BE CAREFUL THOUGH. STEVE SAYS HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. HE WILL PROBABLY TRY TO DROP A ROCK ON YOU. GOOD THING HE IS NOT SUBTLE

File: 1355408736270.png-(Spoiler Image, 3 KB, 100x100)

>>22023571

>>22023657
TOO MUCH
CAN'T TAKE IT
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET PROSTHETIC SIDES AFTER THIS THREAD
FUCK YOU GUYS
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME LAUGH THIS MUCH

File: 1355408899762.gif-(814 KB, 188x141, reaction_so_happy_I_exploded.gif)

>>22023657
Yes! this!

File: 1355408954878.png-(Spoiler Image, 6 KB, 413x210)

>>22023571

File: 1355409028665.jpg-(32 KB, 596x401, 1285564213868.jpg)

>>22023684
now that's just alarming

“Is…is that a wereboar?” the acolyte asked?”

The woman, now coated in her husband’s slime, screamed. The guards immediately attacked swinging their weapons in wide safe arcs. The creature snorted and stood, ignoring a gash across its chest. It tumbled backward and the guards proceeded to stab and eviscerate its corpse.

“HOLD! It’s dead.”

“Wait…sir…it’s…” one of the guards crouched down and sifted through the remains. He lifted a piece and held it up to the captain. “Bread?”

“TOO SUBTLE FOR YOUUUUUUUUU!” the voice of the wereboar echoed through the courtyard as its mallet crushed the skull of the woman and the guard captain next to her in one swift blow.

The acolyte gaped at the scene, his face growing paler and paler as the carnage went on. Slowly creeping away from the edge he scaled down, snuck around to the woman’s corpse and snatched the necklace, which in the melee had been crushed into her now mostly liquid torso.

Upon his return the masters clapped in honor of him. “Wait. I must confess. It was not I who killed the target. A…A creature interrupted the assignment.”

Agropos straightened, “What…kind of creature?”

“A wereboar.”

Agropos slapped his forehead and growled deeply. “Damnable Oinkbane.” Upon the speaking of the creature’s name the door to the weapon room slammed open revealing none other than the beast itself.

>cont.

>>22023695
“How did he-”

“DON’T ASK!” Agropos yelled. “Oinkbane…what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Muh mallet wuz derti,” he replied as he wiped it with a robe strangely reminiscint of Agropos’. “I needs a servant.”

“Why?” Oinkbane stared blankly at him. “Fine…here! Take this one, he’s a failure anyway.”

“WHAT! BUT!”

Oinkbane stalked forward and forced a large and fetid bag into his hands, “Wuz yer name?”

“Steve…”

“Meets me here in five dayz. Don’t be late.” He slapped a piece of paper into Steve’s hands and went back into the weapon room, slamming the door hard enough to break it in half.

“What…but. Master Agropos…”

“Get out.”

“But…but…” Steve’s shoulder’s sank as he was forced out of the sanctum into the sewers. He stared at the paper and sighed. “He…he doesn’t know how to spell very well.”

>And so began Steve's ''apprenticeship'' under Oinkbane.

File: 1355409118325.jpg-(32 KB, 288x374, Ackbar.jpg)

>>22023684
Oh god I looked!
He's climing out of my computer!
learn from my sacrifi>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!!

What if a target, realizing they were about to fall prey to Oinkbane, cleverly disguised themself with a lampshade and a sign that said "Oinkbane"?

>>22023704
This is how Oinkbane breeds

>>22023657
>Man walks down road
>Stops by door
>Reads sign on door
>FREE CATGRL INCIDE
>A fairly bawdy picture of a catgirl is drawn as well
>Man can't argue with a free catgirl
>Goes into room
>Sees Skitters the Ratgirl cleaning out the house of valuables
>She turns and freezes in horror
>Man sees a piles of sacks moving ominously
>Opens door to leave
>Oinkbane is there
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
>Skitters sighs as brainmatter hits her.
>GOOD WORK CATGIRL SKITTERS
>"Please... please, can't you just let me do my work?"
>NO. NO SKITTERS. YOU ARE NOT READY TO BE A TRUE ASSASSIN YET. YOU MUST BE MORE SUBTLE.
>"... just shoot me now."
>CAREFUL. STEVE WAS ASKING ME IF HE THOUGHT HE HAD A SHOT WITH YOU. I SEARCHED HIS TENT BUT COULD NOT FIND A GUN OR BOW. HE MAY BE BECOMING MORE SUBTLE.

File: 1355409347992.gif-(13 KB, 100x100, STIL NO ASASIN.gif)

>>22023664

>>22023733
>HE MAY BE BECOMING MORE SUBTLE.

and that was the day my sides were no more.

>>22023701
How did Steve and Oinkbane meet Skitters the ratgirl thief? We need more stories.

>>22023735
YESSSSSS

File: 1355409480981.jpg-(108 KB, 646x1305, mind_blown.jpg)

>>22023720
>>22023704
>disguise yourself as something
>label yourself 'Oinkbane'
>Oinkbane thinks you are being alluring
>turns up to fuck you

>>22023185

> Steve and Skitters are sitting next to each other by the fire
> Oinkbane hasn't been around all day
> "So ummm... Hows... being a rat girl?"
> "..."
> Suddenly Steve sees Oinkbane beckoning to him from the bushes
> "Excuse me one second."
> He walks over to where Oinkbane is sticking his head out.
> "I TRY TO GIVE YOU TWO ALONE TIME."
> "Oinkbane, keep it down!" whispers steve furiously.
> "I KNOW, BUT I THINK THIS TIME LITTLE POINTY BETTER."
> "What?"
> "I KNOW YOU HAVE LITTLE POINTY, YOU CAN'T SUDDENLY HAVE BIG SMASHY. USE YOUR LITTLE POINTY ON HER."
> Steve starred at him, confused.
> "Oinkbane... are you talking about m--" Oinkbane cut him off.
> "IT NOT LIKE I CAN LET YOU USE MY BIG SMASHY."
> "Oinkbane! What are you talking about?!"
> THe were boar looks up confused.
> "FOR ASSASSINATION.... I HEAR YOU SAY YOU HAVE CRUSH AND WANT STAB HER WITH SWORD LIKE PRETTY BOYS."
> Blushing Steve walks back to sit next to Skitters... at least he wouldn't use a SNEAK ATTACK on her.

>>22023749
should I try?

>>22023753
...
I thought it was more you then become another Oinkbane, but that works too I guess??

>>22023720
This is horrifying on many levels

>>22023733
I can imagine, every day, Skitters has to get out of her tent and tear down another FREE CATGRL INCIDE sign.

>>22023558
Incest Smith? Wuzzat? Can anyone fill me in?

>>22023762
Well, how else is he going to infect you with lycanthropy?

>>22023558
were Prank Wizards in december?

>>22023782
Oinkbane isn't infectious. He doesn't bite, he is a Gentlepork.

>>22023569

Very much this. "Average" wearboar being very good at being an assassin.

>>22023792
Gentlepork. Alright, on that one I have to go stumble through this final, it's been great folks.

>>22023749
Oinkbane was hired to assassinate a particularly paranoid illusionist who pretended to be an ordinary noble.

They spent days playing a complex game of hide-and-seek through the illusionists house, each disguising themselves as different things.

Oinkbane was almost beaten. Enter Skitters, she was just an ordinary street kid (almost typed 'street rat') robbing what she thought was an ordinary nobles house.

She distracts the illusionist at the crucial moment, allowing Oinkbane to kill him.

Oinkbane thinks she tracked him down in order to ask him to train her as an assassin - tells her he's pretty impressed by her attempt
>I'm sure you would have got him yourself if I wasn't faster - you iz prety subtle

Despite her frequent attempts to escape her 'apprenticeship' he always tracker her down and brings her back.

He views her escape attempts as enthusiastic attempts to strike out at her own targets and/or trips into town for groceries, scouting out the landscape etc.

>>22021634
should make it a wereboar bard

Due to my lack of sleep my writing is getting worse and my comedy lax, but I have an idea. Does anyone else think this deserves it's own 1d4chan page?

>>22023822

Do you even need to ask?

>>22023815
Addendum: Oinkbane knows she looks like a ratgirl but thinks she is a catgirl who is disguising herself.
>Oinkbane's apprentice very subtle

...she should attempt to kill him on occasion to get away...

She sneaks into his tent and stabs into his blankets.

It's a sack of belongings... her belongs...

> You iz not subtle snuff yet to beat da master

Oinkbane bursts through the side of the tent and tosses her into one of the disguise crates and seals her inside.

>>22023843

Seal her in the hammer crate? The crate's not actually full of hammers, just labelled such.

>>22023594
>Wealthy Merchant heads home
>Sees bushes moving ominously
>Freaks out, has his guards pepper it with crossbow bolts
>Turns around
>"Uh, hello? My name is Porkbane. I'm here from the Accountant's Guild, it appears you are behind on your taxes."
>Merchant is disappointed. Porkbane has made his day mildly more inconvenient
>Takes Porkbane to his vault
>Freezes
>On Vault Door is a sign with a picture saying "FREE CATGRL INCIDE"
>Has guards open Vault
>Steve is inside, looking lost
>"Guards, arrest him!"
>Guards advance
>Suddenly, a pile of gold moves
>"Guard's an intruder!"
>Guards attack pile of gold
>Oinkbane drops from ceiling
>TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU
>Skitters arrives, see everyone there, sees carnage.
>Sighs, starts pocketing gold, her dreams of a perfect heist ruined.
>Porkbane watches in silence.
>"You know... I really should be stopping this but I don't much care anymore."
>YOU CAN'T HURT MY APPRENTICES. I HAVE TWO APPRENTICES SO THAT THEY COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER. THEY ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. ONE DAY THEY WILL BE AS SUBTLE AS I AM.
>"They don't look like the sort to try and kill each other."
>YOU CAN'T SEE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SUBTLE ENOUGH. THAT IS WHY MOTHER DIDN'T LOVE YOU
>"What the hell are you talking about?! She barely acknowledged you existed! I was the one she paid for through college"
>I KNOW. SHE WAS GREAT AT BEING SUBTLE.

>>22023822
Of course it does! Aren't you subtle enough to know that?

>>22023855
Whenever an outsider (someone besides Oinkbane and Steve) comes into camp they can never find anything. Everything is meticulously labeled, but never labeled with what it actually contains.

> IZ ME TENT

Actually right past entrance to the tent is a forty food hole into the ground.

I like to imagine that the Tales of Oinkbane are the memoirs of Skitters and Steve after their masters death.

He tried to out-subtle a dragon and failed.

(Little do they know he actually succeeded, but lets them believe he failed because he knows they're ready to become master assassins on their own)

>>22023861
>Porkbane has made his day mildy more inconvenient
I didn't like OinkBanes brother before, but with the mildy more inconvenience I lost it.
NOT THAT INCONVENIENT FOR YOU

>>22023878

Precisely.

>Actually right past entrance to the tent is a forty food hole into the ground.
Oinkbane would indeed be proud of this subtlety.

> "SNEAAAK ATTACK!"

>>22023861
>SHE WAS GREAT AT BEING SUBTLE
Why has this thread declared genocide upon all my sides? WHY?

File: 1355410625101.gif-(676 KB, 160x240, REMOVE KEBAB.gif)

I imagine Oinkbane speaking like stereotypical Slav.

IS GOOD.

>>22023805
Gentlepork, I imagine, if he's the opposite of Oinkbane, should be constantly arrested due to undue suspicion.
Yes, even when he's going to the grocer's.
>Gentlepork goes to the greengrocer across a park
>Slightly glance towards the park, see a couple and their daughter
>Goes to ask for his grocery
>On the way home gets arrested by town guard, someone reported him as being a child molester
>All he did was glance at the kid across the street
>IT IS GRAVE MISUNDERSTANDING!

or maybe
>Gentlepork goes to dinner with a friend
>Friend suddenly chokes on something
>Gentlepork knows Heimlich maneuver!
>Concerned neighbor busts in on Gentlepork 'choking' his friend
>IT IS MISUNDERSTANDINGS OFFICER

>>22023909

Gentlepork is clearly Porkbane and Oinkbane's father.

HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MARRIED SO SUBTLE A WOMAN

>>22023909

And totally unrelated to Oinkbane. Just random guy with Lycanthropy.

>>22023934
Porkbane and Oinkbane's mother.... commonly know as Madam Rinds.

>>22023947

That's what he wants you to think. He has disowned his sons.

>>22023959
But really, when the time comes he shall bring his sons and their apprentices together... to see who the most subtle is.

>>22023954
Sadly, Madam Rinds passed away recently, at far too young an age. The Assassin's Guild that offed her, as a sick revenge, turned her into bacon.

Everyone who ate that bacon died.

It was her last subtlety.

>>22023959

Ah - but now you're being TOO MUCH SUBTLE, and overthinking it.

>>22023970
Porkbane doesn't have apprentices. He's only middle management. At best, he gets the occasional intern.

>>22023971
It took fifteen assassins and a orbital launch platform to take her out... she was that subtle....

>Steve and Skitters wake up in camp, no sign of Oinkbane
>This is not unusual, he often practices his stealth skills but usually turns up for breakfast
>Cook breakfast, no sign of Oinkbane
>"oh well" says Steve "we know which town the next mark is in, lets pack up camp and get going"
>Find note
>"I wuz hiREd to KiLl Highweyma- Highwaim- Bandit. If youz can find him before mees, Skitters den you getz an afternoon off"
>Skitters "I'm not your goddam apprentice!"
>Steve pats her on the shoulder "let's just get going"
>On road
>Suddenly gang of thieves led by gentleman highwayman on a horse
>"Your money or your life, or perhaps you can think of something else to pay us with" he says this last bit with a leer at Skitters
>"Look, it's not worth it-" says Steve
>The highwaymans horse isn't a horse
>"Sneak attack!" yells Oinkbane as he kills the highwaysman and the bandits
>"No afternoon off for you Skitters" he booms
>"Not subtle enough yet"

>>22023981
Yes, his interns... they count. Interns can be very subtle.

>>22023959
Now I get the 'Meet the Sniper' reel, but instead of Sniper it's Oinkbane, and the ones on the phone are Gentlepork and Madam Rinds.
"Dad? Dad I'm- … y- … Not a crazed hammerman, Dad, I'm an assassin! Well, the difference being one's a job, and the other's mental sickness! IT'S TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

>>22023998
> "IT'S TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!"

God damn it I'm in an office!

I would hire him to kill the deities and enjoy the show.

I have this image of a scene where Skitters and Steve hanging out, Oinkbane on assignment.

"You know, my name isn't REALLY Skitters. He just calls me that."

"What? Oh, sorry. What should I call you?"
"I'll give you a hint. It starts with O."
"Oh! Is it... Wait. No. NO."
"Yes. I'm OINKBANE. Ha, just fucking with ya. Nah, it's actually Sarah."

"...Oh. Jesus, that wasn't funny."

"What, the joke too subtle for ya?"

>>22023117
What >>22023151 said from Wakfu

File: 1355411466525.jpg-(24 KB, 320x240, reaction_amused_02.jpg)

>>22024055

File: 1355411581226.jpg-(19 KB, 448x311, Oh%20god%20my%20sides%20_(...).jpg)

>>22024055

>Go to 1d4chan.com
>No Incest Blacksmith Page
>No Oinkbane Page

This is too subtle even for me guys.

>>22024124

I think someone's making it as we speak.

>>22024019
> Oinkbane is sitting on a rock outside of camp
> "Oinkbane, what are you doing?"
> "I iz thinkin' of way to kill fancy sky man."
> Oinkbane is holding his hammer and starring at the clouds.
> "Fancy sky man?"
> "You know, big men, wear dress, shoot lighting, have bea--" Oinkbane stops mid sentence...
> "You mean a god?"
> "NO, IT PERFECT! GOD JUST LIKE WIZARD, ONLY FIGHT WIZARD WITH WIZARD."
> The sack of potatoes disguised as Oinkbane sitting on the rock falls over, from his tent Oinkbane bursts out wearing his dress and beaver.
> Oinkbane starts firing magic into the sky scream "TOO SUBTLE!"

>Oinkbane is hired to kill adventurers
>Stalks them through the land
>The party can plainly see him walking behind them and crashing through trees
>This continues for three nights
>Eventually barbarian gets fed up and goes to attack
>Oinkbane had made a camp a little farther back in some tumbled boulders
>The barbarian goes to the center of his camp and yells 'You are on the boulders you cant fool me!'
>Oinkbane is actually on the other side of the closest boulder
>Oinkbane was taking a shit, but now he projects it on the party
>He squeals NINJA STYLE as he takes out the shit covered party

>Middle of the night, Skitters awakens Steve
>"I'm escaping from this psychopath. You in?"
>"You're... you're leaving?"
>"Of course I am! What, do you like it here?"
>"Well... not... not really... but who would make him hotdogs then?"
>"Fuck that! Come on!"
>Leave Camp
>Go to town
>Hire wagon
>Head to port
>Get on ship
>Sail to Capital
>Get on Airship
>Fly to city
>"Thank the Gods... I think we're far away enough now."
>"You know... I can't help but wonder if he's doing alright."
>"Screw that, I hope the Bagman took him."
>"That's hardly fair."
>"He's not fair."
>"So how are we going to pay for this trip?"
>Later that night
>Skitters is rifling through the room of a nobleman on the airship
>Door opens, nobleman comes in
>"Why hello there. You must be the... aheh... complimentary catgirl."
>I'm a ratgir.... oh... oh no... oh gods no..."
>Steve enters the room
>"Steve we need to get...!"
>Steve enters the room
>"What the hell? I didn't hear anything about complimentary average twins along with the catgirl."
>TO SUBTLE FOR YOU. GOOD WORK APPRENTICES. YOU ALMOST FOUND HIM BEFORE ME THIS TIME.YOU ARE ALMOST SUBTLE.

>>22024197
Skitters is never going to earn her afternoon off.

File: 1355412318327.gif-(787 KB, 480x360, Orson_Welles_Citizen_Kane(...).gif)

>>22024197

>>22024197
>>22024163
are connected, fancy sky man

>The mark is on a pirate lord this time, he commands a small fleet.
>The pirate is in on the whole dark ring of assassins and bribery and all that, he knows Oinkbane's reputation
>2 days after they've left port, he realizes Oinkbane must be aboard one of the ships as a stowaway.
>"Gather the men, I want every inch of this ship checked, then once that's done, order the next ship along to do so, and repeat." he orders.
>"Aye sir!" the first mate replies.
>The ships crew are brought to muster, the ship is searched and it seems like there's no boar aboard, for now
>Suddenly, an explosion from the ship sailing to their right, the sail collapses and the ship begins to burn, all is chaos. Two more explosions go off and another pair of ships are on fire.
>The entire priate fleet is in ramshackles, apart from the pirate lords. Eventually men are pulled from the water and most of the ships are saved.
>"Gods damn him, I bet this was all a distraction. First Mate! Give me a report on the damage to fleet!"
>"It seemed to be alchemist's fire Sir. Set on a timer to go off, obviously a distraction, albeit a heavily damaging one." the First Mate replied.
>"Well that was plainly obvious, but what is the damage to the fleet?" the Lord asked impatiently.
>"Well... Three ships have sustained minor damage." as he spoke the First Mate's voice deepened.
>Seemingly out of nowhere he drew a hammer.
>The Captain turned to see his First-Mate transform into WereBoar form.
>OinkBane screamed as he swung the hammer.
>"AND TWO SCUTTLED"

Damn, and here I was wondering what to put into a fun Black Crusade campaign.
Now the crew will meet Angrybane the Deadly, assassin of Khorne.