Leave and start your own game.

Carve the child from your belly in the night, then leave it on the sleeping form of your rapist.

File: 1355691354911.jpg-(45 KB, 400x282, 1312051478805.jpg)

I don't know, I'm interested in where this plot is heading.

You should see where this goes.

Have a druid give you an abortificant

>>22072787
>I'm really starting to want to leave the game, but it's the only one in town.
Repeat "no gaming is better than bad gaming" to yourself like a mantra until you nit up enough to just leave that terrible sounding game.

I think it's time for you to yry some Henderson shit. Go out with a bang.

>>22072787
Rather than looking for a way to reverse it look for a way to advance it.

Hit yourself with another gender bending spell.

File: 1355691442527.jpg-(163 KB, 1280x720, 1338381085153.jpg)

Oh Anon, you are so hopeless!

The Creepy GM Reformation Kit!

tell your GM to kill himself

ST?

Intentionally fuck the game up. If he complains, answer with "Part of the plot!"

Tell him if he doesn't leave off the creepy fetish shit you'll leave the game. When he keeps the creepy fetish shit up, leave the game. If you're not having fun, there's no point in playing.

No game is worth having to put up with some social reject forcing his fucked up sexual desires onto you. Call him out on being fucking disgusting and leave.

File: 1355691542375.jpg-(22 KB, 612x401, 1351094876403.jpg)

>>22072787

holy shit that chick's gonna blow

>>22072895
Sociopathic Tard.

Troll the fuck out of him. I mean really, it is easy for a player to screw up a DM's carefully crafted plot. There are tracks there he is using to railroad you forward, find them, and kick your tain right off the tracks.

>>22072897

Maybe I should kill his girlfriends elven paladin for the lulz.

>>22072787
Get out of that game while you still can anon.

>>22072893
skip that part. Just kill your dm

>lolwut

Have your character commit suicide (preferably with a weapon right through the womb), then leave the game.

>>22072895

ST, storyteller it's my default term for DM. I'm more of a white wolf player.

1. Rage
2. Perform Cesarean abortion
3. Get healed before the rage ends
4. Beat your /d/m in his own game!

>>22072787
Tell the GM that if he doesn't reverse it, then you'll leave. Tell him that you don't care if it's "part of the plot" It's your character, not his. He shouldn't do that to a PC, let alone a PC who doesn't want that to happen to his character.

abort the child, kill your character, doesn't matter. Fuck that plot and leave.

Booze is very, very cheap in D&D. Load yourself up as much as you can, every waking hour, every day of the week, no matter the situation. Then show the DM the effects of severe fetal alcohol syndrome.

You know what? Fuck your DM.

Abort the baby. Jump from the a roof on your stomach, anything, just abort the motherfucker.
> Part of the plot!

Collect the abortion. Get some levels in sorcery, and use it as an undead familiar.
> Part of the plot!

Give it a ring of permanent enlargement, and ride it like a mount.
> Part of the plot!

For fucks sake, end his miserable campaign, then him, then his girlfriend.

File: 1355691881796.png-(470 KB, 800x1096, 1324958923597.png)

Derail the Game. Derail it hard

File: 1355691886380.jpg-(44 KB, 496x384, 1288672479834.jpg)

>>22072986
Jesus Christ what the fuck anon

File: 1355691895226.jpg-(1.11 MB, 1944x1427, 1338605952772.jpg)

>>compulsion to be feminine
But that's a learned trait, not inherent one. A barbarian who makes their living tearing creature's heads off isn't suddenly going to be grossed out by blood or like pink.

Also, if you don't like the pregnancy, there are a metric fuckton of abortatives in most settings.

>>22072787
>I've been hit with a compulsion to be feminine
The enxt town you go in, sink all your money into buying a house, or a hovel, or a tent, or what-have you. Your feminine compulsions drive you to begin nest-building for the expectant baby.

You can't possibly keep adventuring! You have to be ready to take care of the child! And if your friends (other players' character) aren't supportive of your character's decision, or they try to force you along..? Well, guess what! They're A THREAT TO YOUR UNBORN CHILD.

That means it's time to RAGE and go total MOTHER BEAR on them.

Dear god, OP, this is a 'That Guy' of legend.

Go on a gigantic drug/alcohol fueled rampage, personal caesarean, or just start stabbing party members.
If it's part of the DM's plot, he won't be able to kill you off. Reap the benefits of the railroad.

Rolled 7

Abort it on month number...

>>22072986
>Giant undead fetus mount
I love you dude.

Wait, he has a girlfriend and he uses YOU as his ... "plot"?

I think there might be something to this story you're not telling us.

Rolled 3

>>22073042

Bam. Third trimester, month 7. Better hope it's not premature or you'll be leaving it for the sky gods.

>>22072984
Second. Do it and watch your DM squirm trying to figure out how to get around it.

Is Int your dump stat? Because then you have a great in-character reason to just drink, all the time. In your tribe, it is tradition women must keep up with the men in the feast, to prove their value to the tribe.

Perform a shortsword abortion in front of your party members, while they're fighting a tough monster.
Then eat the fetus and vomit blood at your party members.

File: 1355692045591.jpg-(64 KB, 500x375, C5J07.jpg)

>>22072935
>girlfriend

How?

Depends on how far you want to go.

If you're already disgusted and uncomfortable and want to leave, then go.

If you want to fuck up this guys game and hopefully his fetish, go out of your way to be as deranged as you can. Carve the baby out, then eat it. Rape every one of the dmpc's while cutting them up. Load your dice, cheat your way through improbable odds. Break the fuck out of his game.

>>22073029

Holy shit, I never even thought about this.

Do I have plot armor?

Why don't you just retire the character and reroll a new one? Bam, pregnancy gone!

>>22073070
Yes. Yes, you do.

>>22073070

You're immortal, pretty much, yeah.

Don't just stop at killing the other party members/DMPCs, really get fucking sick. Coprophilia, Necrophilia, Hard Vore, Guro, the works. Do this to your fetus, also.

>>22073070
If you being a pregnant woman is part of the plot, you have plot armour.

File: 1355692245984.png-(81 KB, 523x478, whatthefuckamireadingskull.png)

>>22072986
>advising a player to ride around on a giant undead fetus

>>22073070
If you don't, you'll die and the problem will be solved anyway

>>22072986

>giant undead fetus mount

This is the best idea. OP, go with this.

>>22072853
Don't do this, last time I had a druid help with a pregnancy, the druid brought the baby back later.

>>22073062

Well she is a walrus of truly immense proportions with what I believe too be two lazy eyes, and a taste in clothing that screams autistic goth.

>>22073047

Not that I know of, I'm typically the butt monkey because I can usually take a metric fuck ton of bullshit without flipping the table. This just went WAY to far for me, gettting raped by a by a damned demon, getting knocked up, and having my character go from enemy blender to nearly feeble isn't working anymore.

File: 1355692372695.jpg-(697 KB, 1920x1149, 1348985279809.jpg)

>>22073110
What could possibly go wrong?

>>22072986
>Undead familiar.

Now that could be damn interesting.

>>22073140
Sounds like you should have left a LONG time ago. Do it now.

>>22073146
>Mommy, tell me a bedtime story.

>>22072986
I WANT this giant undead fetus abomination mount

>>22073140
Oh, desperate eejits of a feather stick together. I see.

>>22073140
For a less "fuck you all" solution to screwing around with the game, see:
>>22073026

File: 1355692502151.jpg-(73 KB, 400x541, tumblr_lwo3dglI1I1qc6jxfo1_400.jpg)

>>22072986
Get some saddle and let's ride!

>>22073123
and then, when the DM pulls something out his ass to keep the plot going, you can say
"if you could do that all this time, why the FUCK did you need to fuck with my character this badly?
It was never part of the plot, you cockmongling son of a Beetlegeusian"

File: 1355692525901.gif-(1.91 MB, 329x319, flashback cupcakes.gif)

>>22073107

The warrior brings her lover to bed. The lithe young minstrel, willing to look past her enormous pregnant belly, begins tenderly kissing the mother.

But this will not be the end.

The Mother undresses and grabs a dagger from the night table. Thrusting the blade into her pubic region, she pulls up sharply. As the bard looks in horror the Mother makes two small incisions and pulls two small fish white stumps from within.

The Bard cries as the Warrior forces him onto the bed. The Warrior rubs her pelvis against his erection, and the Warrior smiles as she reaches her hand down.

He screams in pleasure as he feels fetal hands grip his cock. Gentle squeezing, prodding, as the mother jerks along with her unborn child.

If it's pathfinder or he allows house feats, take a feat called "mark of lamashtu".

>you're now popping out fiends for kids.
>fiends gestate and grow quickly
>army of fiendish children

I'm talking about having sex with anyone and popping out Lamias, minotaurs, hydras...roll on a fucking chart!

ps. Fuck your DM

>>22073170

Eh, normally it's just my characters family members being killed, contracting lycenthropy, or being used as a catspaw for the prince, etc, that's just typical shit.

This stuff just makes me squirm.

File: 1355692663014.jpg-(56 KB, 338x604, 1352234851902.jpg)

>>22073189
Nice!

File: 1355692677572.jpg-(82 KB, 379x500, Blue cat.jpg)

>>22073189

Is it bad that I found this hilarious?

Sounds like your DM has a particular storyline in mind. We're the Aristocrats!

>>22072986
Herbal abortion is probably easier than jumping off a roof. Still, I would second this motion, if not for the following scheme:
> have baby in a safe, nice location
> make party fall totally in love with it
> 2 weeks later, post-partum depression kicks in full force
> drown it in a bucket one bright morning
> "It's part of the plot!"

>>22073189

Gore, incest, pre-birth pedo?

Well then. I think we have a winner.

File: 1355692815021.png-(66 KB, 326x256, Skeptic_Look_Elena.png)

>>22072986

OP, have you got anyone you can call Ally in this game?

A wizard ally could help you spread some royal chaos in the game

File: 1355692857200.jpg-(58 KB, 590x694, gazrael - Cho'wa Sketch.jpg)

>>22073223
I was referring to him and his landwhale girlfriend, actually.

Have a nice picture.

The problem is this might be a messiah DMPC child (apparently we have confirmation that it's at least a half-demon), meaning she can't kill it. So sane solutions probably won't work, we have to fuck up everything in true Chaotic Stupid style.

>>22073245
>Make soup out of it.
>feed it to unaware party.
>PLOT!

>>22073233

That was the point. It's part of my former comic father's version of the Aristocrats that seems to get the most visceral reaction.

>>22073290
What's the growth rate of a baby demon or half-demon?

>>22073249
Add scat and then we're talking!

>>22073290
I think that you can still kill a messiah if you abort it by yourself in the woods and then bash its head with a rock.

Jesus christ /tg/, I dunno whether to be horrified or proud of you. You're a schizophrenic hydra hopped up on LSD. You have so many faces.

Right now, this thread is full Deadpool.

>>22073308

Very lore dependent. Sometimes it is longer, sometimes the same, sometimes very, very short.

>>22073245
Fuck herbal abortion.
We're a motherfucking barbarian, we don't do stuff easily.

The best part about the undead fetus mount?
Your familiar can talk to you. Call it "momma's precious baby", while it screams and cries pathetically.
> Part of the plot!

Later on, it can speak with creatures of it's type. You'll have a way to talk to undead.
> Part of the plot!

File: 1355693082324.jpg-(63 KB, 800x600, 406278_md-Baby, Chaos Spa(...).jpg)

>>22073110
>giant undead fetus mount

You know what? There just happens to be a miniature for that.

>>22073217
ok ok I have nver played pathfinder and Im not op. Im also male. but could I make a char JUST FOR THIS and lke own the world or some shit?

It's so clearly going to end up in time-travel shenanigans, with you birthing yourself in an endless cosmic loop that it's not even funny.

Grow some roleplaying balls and play.

>>22073318

But see, if it's his god-demon-child he might turn it into an Atropal should she try to abort it. We do not want that. Also, OP, DO NOT TELL YOUR DM WHAT AN ATROPAL IS.

File: 1355693163867.jpg-(59 KB, 500x361, CfL9[1].jpg)

>>22073343

>>22073249
looks like this is plan a, after its born we can ride it around destroying towns

>>22073343
wow... thats... thats disturbing.

but seriously, this thread deserves to live forever so we can just link it anytime we get a "that guy" thread like "hey guys, this is how you solve a 'that guy' problem, learn from these geniuses"

>>22073290
See
>>22073026

>>22073325
Old Deadpool or new Deadpool?

>>22073359

Aren't Atropals aborted godlings?

Fuck, even the god's hangers are overpowered.

>>22073373
dont know much beyond deadpool other than hes the ebst comic book character and i'm not allowed to argue against it. also he doesnt have a fourth wall.

whats the difference in personality between old and new deadpool?

File: 1355693330627.png-(252 KB, 415x595, 1355524500012.png)

>>22072986

>>22073393
The writers portray him differently.

>>22073140
Wait...demon baby? This opens up a world of horrific debauchery not meant for mortal eyes. Become obsessed with it. Worship your unborn baby. Go crazy and act like it speaks to you. Tells you secrets from the Abyss. Could be real, could be your character going insane.

Perform dark rituals. Switch to cleric and start performing blood rituals for your demon-spawn child. Maybe a pc or two can be sacrificed. If they anger your dark prince you can buff yourself then go into rage

>>22073393
old deadpool would rip your arms off and shit in your stumps while drawing happy faces on you laughing the hole time. then he would give you a popsicle.

now he has developed a semi conscience again.

>>22073189

Not even a little hard. Nice try fa/tg/uy.

>>22073290
We shall need Holy Coat Hanger +4 against fiends.

>>22073296
Poster for >>22073330 and >>22072986 here, do this as well OP.
> PART OF THE MOTHERFUCKING PLOT!

>>22073343
this is a fucking sign from the game gods
>Doooo iiitttttt

>>22072787
This is either the stupidest troll or the stupidest person. Either way, this shit is stupid.

File: 1355693596987.jpg-(14 KB, 167x186, fuckinhappybaby.jpg)

>>22073459

Confirmed for OP's DM.

>>22073459

Someone's a wee bit butthurt over /tg/ making lemonade out of demon cum.

>>22073426
I like it.
>Babie must sleep. Babie must rest. Wise is the one who does not waken him.

>>22072984
>>22072986
>>22073330

OP have to do these. Part of the plot, of course.

>>22073426
I don't think that's good. The DM might get off on a man in a woman's body worshiping her baby.

Either settling down or aborting it is the way to go.

>>22073459

S'up OP's DM. What sick porn have you been watching lately?

>>22073426
OH great idea! each sacrifice makes your dark godling more powerful, when it is born you will gain power over a dark god the likes of which your world has never seen. you could start small with animals then gradually build up till your sacrificing party members to your dark spawn! carry the deathly abonimation around after its born and use its warped love to grant yourself power supreme over the undead and cultivate a cult of the eldritch child in his/her honor. if it is female make sure you sacrifice men for her vices and vice versa for a male. get depraved and make this shit fun!

then ride around on a litter carried by the soulflayed masses of the sacriced people with your child as their lord and master.

ALL HAIL YOUR FUTURE PURGE LORD!

>>22073486
That sounds much tastier than it has any right to be...

>>22073325
When ThatGuy DM's show up, we can either call him a creep out outcreep him.

The later is more interesting.

/tg/ likes interesting.

I really do love you guys, thanks for all the great tips! Please, please, please keep them coming.

>>22073530
Tell me more about the game.
I want to ruin your DM's shit.

>>22072787
>Not to mention I've been hit with a compulsion to be feminine
How? That's a cltural construct, not a biological need.

Fail.

>>22073189

>Unborn demon baby stroking the shaft
>Not cutting a third hole for throatfucking

I mean the amniotic fluid will help to lubricate its hands but sometimes you need a bit of suction to get off.

Seriously. Do you even Diabolist?

>>22073558
Im guessing magic mindfuck. yep. seen this before. eleven times actually.

>>22073558

It's a CLITORAL construct.

>>22073558
>how does Helm of Opposite Alignment work?
>hoes does charm/suggestion/dominate work?

>>22073558

>wizard's curse suddenly needs to conform to biological needs

o wait ur serious

>>22073558
magic must conform to rules of reality now? must have missed the memo.

is the rest of the undborn baby throatfuck this thread has become ok then?

>>22072787
This sounds like a game of FATAL.

Is there anyone in the party with a horse?

BANG THE HORSE. Instant pregnancy cure.

>>22072787
Seriously, just have your character kill himself.

Then, tell the DM that anymore bullshit like that is unacceptable. Say that you will leave if that shit goes down again.

>>22073621
>You banged the horse
>Now you are pregnant with it
>PLOT MUST GO ON!

>>22073621
I'm pretty sure the DM would just say that it isn't hurt. If he's going to kill it, the OP has to do something that entire ensures his own death or the death of the fetus being in his own hands and not settled by a DM roll.

File: 1355694394250.jpg-(622 KB, 1187x1605, PART OF THE PLOT.jpg)

There was a class that allowed you to have an intelligent tumor somewhere on your body...
Or was it a feat?

Do this.
> PART OF THE PLOT

>>22073655

That means our vag is an infinite dimensional storage space! CRAM EVERYTHING IN THERE!

>>22073654
>bang a horse
>now the baby is pregnant too
>2 baby HA HA

>>22073643
Your best bet is to jump off a cliff, belly flop style.
If your DM and your players insist you cannot kill yourself, than place the party and yourself in a perilous situation.

Example:
Find orc tribe. Use femininity to act like a total fucking bitch whore, and insult all of them.

>>22073668
Cancer mage.

>>22072787
two words op.

F*#& EVERYTHING. say its part of your curse and your using it to feed your Child. get REALLY graphic, make this game as uncomfortable as possible. and then you give him the option of having sense or you bring out the big guns with the pedo/demon/scat/bestialy/necrophiliac orgy you are about to unleash

File: 1355694576343.jpg-(159 KB, 750x750, thumb.jpg)

>>22073683
>Matryoshka plot

>>22073701
Thank you.

They can remove that tumor from them, right? I don't have the BoVD at hand at the moment.

Can we do something like this?
You can graft your undead fetus familiar somewhere on your body, rip it off, enlarge it, and ride it as a mount.
When you don't have the need for it, shrink it, and saw it back on yourself.
> Part of the plot!

>>22073683

No. Due to the malleable nature of the demon child it just absorbs the power of horsecum and becomes a centauric demon.

Now if the player just fucks every type of creature possible...

OP. Do you have the ability to arouse a Tarrasque?

when will you guys learn to tell a troll OP

Do you have a cleric bro?

Tell him to ask his deity to destroy your demon fetus.

>>22073747
Quest for the ULTIMATE BABY!

>>22073551

Well, mostly it's your typical dark lords of dark darkyness attempting to bring dark evilness to the world for no apparent reason. The main villian is a demon prince that seems to be custom made by the DM. It's pretty much Slaanesh, and just so happens to be what filled by poor barb with baby to be.

The party members are
Elven Paladin, your typical goody good with just a hint of friendship is magic. Played by the scariest land whale I've ever laid eyes upon.

Dwarf Cleric- Big, gruff, heroic, he's a rather bad ass character, and totally gay. He's played by our unsurprisingly token gay guy.

Halfling rogue- Not much of a roleplayer, sneaky, solitary and full of angst. Played by random guy the DM ran into at a comic shop.

Human Wizard- The character is old, kind of befuddled and a bit of a practical joker. Sort of a that guy at times, but, he's been reigning it in recently.

and myself

Human Barbarian - formerly rude, crude, likes hitting things, drinking, and feels that one's existance is useless unless you're capable of smashing an opponents head with your bare hands. Now though, he's frilly, is obsessed with making sure he's pretty, still enjoys combat but, he's not particularly good at it anymore.

File: 1355694802455.png-(265 KB, 720x405, 1354306745638.png)

>>22073747
Do this with your child.

Use magic or whatever you can to ensure it is a beautiful little girl. And raise her as your own personal sex slave.

Use gratuitous imagery. If this doesn't sicken them, begin unleashing scat, domination play, bdsm, the works. Make sure it starts from a totally inappropriate age.

>>22073761

I'm pretty sure we all know it's a troll.

But we all enjoy derailing or making something epic like a tarrasque-centaur-demon cumbaby able to suck off bards in utero while later serving as an abortamount.

>>22073761
Who cares? You don't like to talk about giant undead demon fetus mounts?

File: 1355694886210.gif-(187 KB, 500x410, freddie-mercury.gif)

Railroaded gaming - what are we living for?
Character Shaming - I guess we know the score..
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are playing for?

Another asspull - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in this pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Plot must go on!
The Show must go on!Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My DM may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

Whatever happens, my character will be screwed.
Another rairoad - I have to suffer through.
On and on...
Does anybody know what we are playing for?
I guess i'm learning
I must be warmer now..
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now.
Outside the game is breaking,
But inside in my PC i'm aching to be free!

The Plot must go on!
The Show must go on!Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My DM may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

My soul is battered like the winds of a hurricane,
Horror tales of yesterday, will be posted for online fame,
I can archive, my friends!

The Plot must go on! Yeah!
The Plot must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the Plot!

I'll top the bill!
It's so overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the plot!
On with the plot!
Yeah! oh oh oh
The plot must go on…

>>22073720
Unless he gets off on that. I don't think more sex is the answer.

>>22073780
if this is the way op chooses to go, it would be a quest worthy of printing. I want a book. and when this creature is born I EXPECT op to Ride it.

File: 1355694972660.jpg-(66 KB, 362x421, 1354658965215.jpg)

>>22073781
>Halfling angst

>>22073831
Holy shit, yes.

>>22073831
CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!

>>22073831
And we have a winner.

>>22073761
now that's a thought
>abortion via troll dick

half demon half/centaur/troll undead mount
>part of the plot

>>22072978
Tell the GM if he doesn't bring your character back to life, then you'll leave. Tell him you don't care that it's "part of the plot" it's your character, not his. He shouldn't kill a PC, let alone a PC that doesn't want to die.

>>22072978
>>22073877
Tell the GM if he doesn't let you have 18 in every stat, then you'll leave. Tell him you don't care that it's "part of the game," it's your character, not his. He shouldn't require you to roll dice for your stats, especially for a character that's naturally good at everything.

>>22073867

Why would you use a troll dick?

Obviously you just decide to fuck a black pudding. It slides over your supple skin, pressing and sliding over the acid immunity gel covering your outer flesh.

A bestial logic takes over the pudding as it forces itself inside of you. You feel its burning as it pierce your cervix, burning away the flesh and leaving you with a sensation of fullness.

As it drives itself deeper into you you can feel its cleansing slime touching you in places no lover has ever known.

Sadly, the Demon Baby has acid resistance.

>PLOT!

+5 ghost touch mithril coat hanger

>>22073877
Im new and have never played any rpg, does this shit happen often? because if having demon baby mounts is a norm I want to start playing this game.

>>22073967

Only when /d/ms are involved.

>>22073946
We already fucked a tarrasque.
Our demonic undead baby is huge, regenerates from everything, and has magic immunity.

Fuck a pudding, though.
...wow, that's a sentence I never expected to write in my entire life.

File: 1355695582673.jpg-(51 KB, 500x284, baby lawyer.jpg)

>>22073967

It can be.

Personally I prefer them as attorneys.

>>22074003
Or you roll for anal circumference.

>>22074008
now the baby has acid ooze covering it. or has the ability to become acid ooze. either way this is all going according to the dms plan...

File: 1355695714706.png-(63 KB, 476x302, puddi.png)

>pudding

This thread is like CoC. Only more batshit insane and perverted. I love you /tg/.

>>22074040
Of course it can become acid ooze. And shapeshift.
And, since we grafted it on ourselves, so can we.

>>22074040

The question becomes: What creature can you fuck that would actually kill the baby?

Celestial Nilbog?

>>22074079
Positive or Negative energy elemental.
Then again...

>>22074079

Simple. Fuck a good aligned deity.

>>22072787
Clearly your course of action is for your character to 'fall' down every flight of stairs you encounter.

Try slamming your stomach into the backs of chairs as well.

>>22074092

What if we involve the two elemental forces in a three way, causing a double penetration of the vagina and one of the extra dagger holes?

Would the baby's malleable form be unable to cope and disintegrate on the dual elemental cocks?

>>22074106
sounds like some lawful good dickings are in order.

Where's Charname when you need him?

>>22074106
So we are on the quest to fuck a god? I like it.

>>22074106
so just screw every EVIL entity and make it gain invulnerability (if it doesnt have it) now go on an epic quest to screw all evil. either way epic baby mount.

>>22074079
There is no creature. The DM would stop it.

>>22072986
> the mental image of a female barbarian acting like a butch dyke, rolling around on her giant undead abortion of a son

THIS SHOULDN'T BE TIS FUNNY, WHY ARE MY SIDES DESTROYED

IT'S LIKE FATAL MET SCRIBBLENAUTS

>>22074121
You're overthinking it.
> PLOT!

>>22074153
there is no creature, only ZUUL

>>22074079
Who knows, but we'll keep going until we fuck a few nexus dragons

>>22074153
that's why you don't tell him the intention.

He's enough of a /d/m to allow divine fucking, so only tell him the consequences of it after the event.

>>22074160
me too. Im choking on my bacon!

I say OP should offer to host a game for anyone who actually wants a sane DM, then leave his game.

But only after fucking with his current DM.

Guys.

It's simple.

We fuck a neutronium golem.

>>22074180
>Im choking on my bacon
Oh my!

File: 1355696271078.jpg-(13 KB, 260x374, 446710_f260.jpg)

>>22074160
>IT'S LIKE FATAL MET SCRIBBLENAUTS

Welp.
That'll be replacin the whale in me nightmares.

>>22074183
no he should go on using his creature baby mount godling and rule the world. its obvious. now the dm and the other chars have to deal with this thing. have your baby turn you male again if you want its all powerful by now anyway.


and make sure dm has the demon fathers (all of the creatures count by now) pay child support.

your rich now.

>>22072787
Man the fuck up and quit the game. Take a fucking stand.

File: 1355696296778.jpg-(96 KB, 500x333, pigtail.jpg)

>>22074180

OH, that reminds me, make sure she also fucks Oinkbane the Sexy.

The compulsion to act feminine is what makes me rage the most. It's an entirely social construct. There are many many cultures where biological sex is separate and men (sometimes women too) can choose to become masculine or feminine.

In the Pacific, there was once an island culture where all women were (for westerners) hyper-masculine, and all men were hyper-feminine. The men would comb each others hair and wear make-up, the women would kill animals and wage war on neighbouring tribes to steal men.

>>22074218
thanks. I mean seriously thanks. I literally laughed so hard I shit my pants.

god that was the happiest shit of my life. sorry at how disgusting this was.

>>22074191
Wouldn't fucking any sort of golem do it? You could even roll for damage yourself, keep trusting on it as deep as you can until you get a natural 20 so that the rock cock goes into your womb.

>>22074253
It's a neutronium golem.
It's made from a collapsed star.
Don't you want only the best for our baby?

>>22074268
oh, so we've finally settled on making it a god rather than killing it?

>>22074248

Who cares?

This is magic, stop being stupid.
The physical stat penalties is worse.
Characters shouldn't be made obsolete in combat in such a stupid way.
That's literally taking the player out of the game.

>>22074106

So the sperm of a good aligned deity will destroy evil?

I say we capture Lolth and let the bukkake begin.

>>22074296
I say yes. my vote is for making a god from the baby.

OH I GOT IT! have the baby then screw it yourself for god powers.

Maybe she can transfer the fetus to another uterus.

>> Blatant "Cool story bro" troll

>> /tg/ eats out his hand

I'm disappointed in you, /tg/

OP what are your stats like now?

File: 1355696760984.jpg-(35 KB, 250x344, 250px-Nyarlathotep.jpg)

>>22072787
This thread pleases Nyarlthotep

>>22074343

>The feel of cleaving open another's flesh, then extruding your demon baby placenta and all out of your uterus via vigorous squeezing.

Yes.

>>22074327
I would post something but i would get banned for life.

>>22074296
Read the thread.

We made a enlarged demonic-undead-familiar-cum-fetus-tarrasque-pudding-thing that jerks off bards in utero through a knife wound, that's grafted on us, and that we can ride as a mount.

HELL NO WE'RE NOT KILLING IT.

I think the best way to go about getting rid of the baby is to carve it out of your womb. With a blade of either cold iron or silver, whichever the parent is weak to (I always forget). Now, when I say carve the baby out, that's what I mean. Your womb is a goddamn Thanksgiving turkey and you've got a family of fifteen to feed. The baby will most likely come out of this in one piece, still attached to you by the cord and you'll be minus a womb, stomach, and most of your intestines. The cleric will need to be on standby to patch you up.

Now, because this is a DMPC baby simply carving it out of you may not (read probably won't) kill it. So you'll need to go the extra mile. You should have the cleric fix you up in such a way that the baby is still attached to you, but outside of your body if you cannot cut the cord. If you can cut the cord then just leave the baby outside of your womb while the cleric mends you.

Now take the baby, a portable hole, and a bag of holding and rig it so that the baby is getting a one way trip to the astral plane and you are staying on solid ground. Alert the denizens of the Astral plane to your plan through the cleric (who may or may not need to take a trip to the astral plane for this task, but should be able to find his way back), they should be able to deal with a single demon devil baby provided they know where it is, regardless of how much plot armor it has. If they couldn't then you call the DM on his bullshit for trying to introduce a character that could single handedly take on the astral plane.

File: 1355696865586.jpg-(114 KB, 500x659, falcon punch.jpg)

If you're not able to make a giant undead fetus mount, there's always Plan B.

It's a classic.

>>22074350

>Believing any of this is being taken seriously
>Getting anally anguished

Oh boy.

>>22074376
you forgot the golem, and dragons, and possible mindflayers. but otherwise Im with you.

>>22074134
>sounds like some lawful good dickings are in order.
>Elven Paladin, your typical goody good
>Elven Paladin
>Paladin
Your dudelady and his fellow PC are going to have to fuck the evil away from that baby, OP. Refuse to have any kind of adventures the /d/m wants, just keep going 24/7 with the pally until the babby is born.

>>22074372
Please elaborate.

>>22074380
fuck that use is as a baby fetus demon morning star, she is a warrior after all. then ride it.

File: 1355696987732.jpg-(103 KB, 620x761, i-had-fun-once-and-it-was(...).jpg)

>>22074350

>>22074394

One vital question:

Can you smite with your cock?

>>22074388
>fetus is immune to blunt damage
>plot must go on

Once again you've done it, /tg/. You have turned crap into pure laughter-filled diamonds.

You're a bunch of wonderful, bat fuck insane supervillains, and I'm proud to be among you.

>>22074412

I'm guessing images of spiders doing really unspeakable (read: awesome) things to your typical animu girlbait.

>>22074392
Oh, yeah, sorry. Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.

Now, we're going rip someone apart, and put our baby placenta and all of our uterus into them.
You know, to grow and feed on their flesh from the inside.

>>22074447
Also, since the thing is grafted on us, over time, we'll change to into a radioactive undead golem blob of cum and PLOT.

>>22074447
It could be the dms pally landwhale! she can have a portion of the childs powers to mindfuck the pld into a slave to carry the child to birth all the while forced to feel the creature growing inside her while being unable to voice her horror. unable to stop whats happening to her, unable to even scream.

>>22074501
And if she has an evil baby inside of her, isn't it her duty to abort it or else she'll fall?

>>22074519
Even better, graft her on us as well to serve as temporary mount.
Would you let a pregnant woman walk around everywhere? For shame.

>>22074433
Post them anyway, you won't be banned forever (at least it's a risk that I'm willing to take).

>>22074541
ride the landwhale pld using the babies umbilical cord as reigns leading from her vag tied around her head and mouth as you hold the baby in your arms and steer.

my god /tg/ is fucked up I love you guys.

>>22074353

str is 10
Con is 13
and dex is 9

>>22074614
>Post one of the three most fucked up things in this thread
>Say TG are the fucked up ones

I know that the OP is just trolling, but if this were a real campaign I think the best way to annoy your GM would be to become completely apathetic to the Plot and whatever grand tweest he's planning - at least it drives me up the walls when players are totally unresponsive.

>Your character now has to act femininely!
>lol whatever I rage femininely at the goblins

>Group of paladins want to kill you and your baby!
>meh whatevs I let them and reroll

>Your baby is evil and captured by a cult!
>lol XD imma kill some orcs

>>22074648

Also make your character on the front lines in every fight. If you're the dm's pet then he won't let you die.

Can we please get some writefags or drawfags here?

> and esntcu
Yes, him too.

>>22074614
also said I loved tg. thats not the most fucked up thing anyway.

I really don't get why people think I'm trolling.

Whatever I'm still getting amusing tips.

>Play new D&D game with group of That Guys which I started playing rpg with, to see if they have got any better.
>It got worse.
>Creepy shit on top of the unimaginative story and dungeon puzzles with only one way out which makes no sense.
>Pick my stuff, stand up.
>OK guys, have fun, I am going home because I ain't having any.
And I read W40k books and played some vidya until my regular group had time to play again.

>>22074671

What do you want written?

I feel the imagery is good enough without writing erotic tarrasque-on-demonbabymomma cumfests.

>>22074702
why would you leave any of that out!?!?!?!?

>>22074614
You know all that fucking that occurs?
THE PALADIN HAS TO WATCH.

>>22074648

Or just switch gears totally and demand it was now a waifu campaign. The PC's settle down and prepare for the baby's arrival.

>>22073379
Atropals are unfinished immortals, atropal scions are pieces of a gods flesh that took its own form and looks fetus like.

>>22074760
Nah, that's giving the /d/m what he wants. He's totally into the dude lady barbarian demon baby waifu shenanigans, you don't want to give her any more spotlight time that's necessary.

File: 1355698447435.jpg-(110 KB, 450x441, 1336517306013.jpg)

>>22074758
I like you

OP: How did any of this happen? Was it something that targeted your character specifically, or was it a trap/curse that anyone could have stumbled into? Were you actually given chances to resist, or was it all cutscenes?

More detail, please. This might sound unnecessary, but the details of implementation will give us a vital peak into how your DM operates. That lets us better predict his reactions, and thus frustrate him more.

I love you /tg/. I really do. You people are so fucking sick it's unbelievable.

>>22074854
Yeah, sick of That Guy GMs. It's just well-earned wrath that you're seeing in this thread, is all.

>>22074059
How about we make "puddi" the only thing our lovable abomination can cry out?
You know, like a Pokemon?

...great, now I want to see a collecting card game based on undead-demonic-cum-blob-whatever-fetuses.
You have to fuck them all, so your one can evolve.

>>22073683
Why don't you let your character have the baby, and then care for it like a normal, loving parent, despite its provenance? That would show him!

File: 1355698754516.jpg-(81 KB, 698x454, The Aristocrats played th(...).jpg)

>>22074854
We aim to please.

>>22074899
Id play it.

>>22074899
>undead-demonic-cum-blob-whatever-fetuses
Mortasheen only with fucking?

>>22074939
whats mortasheen?

>>22074906

I don't think you're understanding.

Deep Tarrasque dicking.

>>22073062

That picture. Oh gods, that picture. Took me five minutes to save it, I was laughing so hard.

>>22074939
Never played Mortasheen, sorry.
If it's anything like this thread, I'd give it a go.

>>22075050
Also, this. Since we're having a pocket dimension in our vag, we can fuck anything, and it'd fit.
Anything. We could fuck a mountaintop. The sky is the limit.

>>22074418
That image has far too much use on this website.

>>22075069
our baby could then be called the mountain king and claim kinship with the dwarves XD

>>22075110

Why did Barbarian Femdude climb the mountain?

To fuck the mountain. To wrap the mountain within her velvety folds.

To become the Mountain.

>>22073298

I want to hear the whole thing/

>>22075129
We call our baby Moradin. We're the mother of the father of dwarves.
> PLOT

File: 1355699932177.png-(87 KB, 1235x587, trolling without trolling.png)

>>22074648

>>22075151
print it WES WRITERS NOW!

I would buy.

so are we mking this little abomination a god to ride around or what?

op have you decided? (dont care if troll)

this thread is amazing

>>22073010
Fuck yes, I remember that story!
Best CoC derail ever.

OP, if you decide to go with fetus-mount, please tell us what happened later on.
I want to see how your /d/m responded to this.

>>22075263

I want to know what happens next too

Also, thread is archived on Sup/tg/ due to undead fetus-mount of awesome

>>22075337
And the trading card game based on fucking everything so that your mount can evolve.

>>22075366
well anything evil anyway. did we decide about making good gods sperm kill it or what?

>>22075393
I doubt it.
If anything, it'd make it even more powerful, able to heal, turn undead, and maybe make it smell less horrid.
Maybe a small alignment change towards Good.

...Jesus fuck, imagine Puddi being a good guy.

>>22075455
so the more good aligned creature you get boned by the more good aligned the child would be, with powers scaled to show it. bone angels the baby gets wings and holy fire. bone demones and you get infernal flames and demon wings with spikes. the morality scales with each sexing so at the end of gestation your kids morality and abilities are based around what you screwed. throw in some potions to increase/decrease gestation period and an option to feed the creature more cum after its born in a sacrifice to it so you can evolve it after birth and you have a game I would play the fuck out of.

>>22075514
Forget the gods.
We start with an undead demonic fetus.

First, you fuck a tarrasque. That's a T-Rex that regenerates from a cellular level. Your baby is now huge, cannot die, and is invulnerable to magic.
Then you fuck a pudding. Your baby is now made of acid, and able to shapeshift.
Then you fuck a neutronium golem. Your baby is now radioactive, indestructible, and has the power of the sun in it's fingertips.

Good luck beating that.

>>22075583
Oh, and it's also immortal.
And since we're grafted to it, so are we.

We have all the powers our abomination has.

>>22075638
OP do like this guy, then make your self the best big bad ever.

Welp, final bump from me.
Good night gentlemen.

File: 1355703783333.png-(1.47 MB, 1920x1080, diagram_A_like_FATAL_meet(...).png)

>>22072787
>>22072986
>>22074160

/tg/! /tg/!

I-um I maded you a d-diagram!

>>22075069
>The sky is the limit.
So fuck the sky.

>>22076025
your baby now has air powers similar to a syplh or air elemental.

>>22076057
Or, if we assume the keyword there is "limit" and not "sky", it's more like the baby is part Touhou's Reimu Hakurei and can just flit over the boundaries of reality.

File: 1355704238167.gif-(1.69 MB, 160x120, 1298655337663.gif)

What is this thread?

What is happening?

Everything is terrible.

>>22076089
>combining even half a percent of Gensokyo's shit with our terrasquecentaurdemongodbabby

All survivors, past, present, and future, would be instantly eradicated.

>>22076126
Seriously, fuck this thread

>>22076126
this thread is amazing.

File: 1355705309694.jpg-(311 KB, 788x674, 11111111.jpg)

>>22076137

>>22072787
Just take a level of Warblade or two. Ironheart Surge is known far and wide for it's babykilling prowess.

>>22076344
not familiar with this, explain pls

>>22076450
Quoting from the Book of Nine Swords for your convenience:
Iron Heart Surge
Iron Heart
Level: Warblade 3
Prerequisite: One Iron Heart maneuver
Initiation Action: 1 standard action
Range: Personal
Target: You
Duration: See text

By drawing on your mental strength and physical fortitude, you break free of a debilitating state that might otherwise defeat you.

Your fighting spirit, dedication, and training allow you to overcome almost anything to defeat your enemies. When you use this maneuver, select one spell, effect, or other condition currently affecting you and with a duration of 1 or more rounds. That effect ends immediately. You also surge with confidence and vengeance against your enemies, gaining a +2 morale bonus on attack rolls until the end of your next turn.

... so not only can you "cure" yourself of pregnancy, but you get a morale bonus to attack rolls for doing so.

>>22076565
wow that could work

>>22076565
using this could you cure yourself of say annoying neighbors?

I mean they are getting on your nerves and your losing sleep because of it so....

>>22076683
it'd be effects and conditions. so you could cure the insomnia or the common cold. but not your annoying neighbors.

>>22076683
not only can you, but by certain interpretations of that language, you would cure yourself of them by causing them to cease to exist- you don't end the effect on your person, you end the effect entirely. So a vampire with this maneuver could potentially end sunlight because it burns him, or a person falling to their death could end gravity.

>>22076831
I love this skill now

>>22076883
Not like any GM ever would let you do that but it could at least cure his debilitations and let him attack shit properly

>>22077288
so lets say I wanted to role a char that uses shadow beasts (forgot the class) could it be used to end light since that weakens them and me?

>>22077353
Depending on the DM really, and if the light is the sun or a few torches.

>>22076007
This thread in a nutshell.