After some more talky-bits and a flurry of honking (that had the perpetually angry red oni Zuli knock your ass into the stratosphere), you decided you were bored and stole as much booze and weapons as you could while nobody was looking. And then tied them to an M1 Abrams, somehow got it started, and drove straight through the rift. PROGRESS! Truly, you are a man of action.

You still should probably stop this tank, though. Not that you know how. Driving is hard. Squishing is easy, thankfully.

[Roll 1d20 to accidentally figure out how to stop tank]

Rolled 6

>>22074437
welp. Here we go again.

Rolled 7

>>22074437
Tank Stopping Powers GO!

Rolled 19

>>22074532
I CANNAE DEW IT CAPN.
Also,
>>22074427
Pleading the 21st? Pretty sure that doesn't have a legal precedence.

>>22074574
The 21st Amendment: the repeal of Prohibition. Basically a fancier way of saying a time-tested and tried excuse:

"Fuck off, I was drunk."

Rolled 20

>>22074959
...HK, just for you, I will be taking a case to the Supreme court. Saying it is my constitutional right to be drunk, based on the 21st amendment.

>>22075021
And bringing the tank to a safe stop. WITH MY HOBO SWAG.

>>22075021
WE FIGHT FOR THE GLORY OF BOOZEHOUNDS EVERYWHERE.

Also, goddamn, a 20 right out the gate.

>>22075055
This is a good sign for this thread.

>>22075055
Either we're going to get pure distilled awesome in the form of literature or Hobo King has passed out

>>22075617
Actually, I'm at work at the moment. And will be for the entire evening. Due to the customer service nature of my job and the fact that I can never predict when people come in, this may increase my writing speed, or decrease it. I have no idea.

>>22075694
in that case
>[ ]Imbibe Liquor

"Hmmmm.....If I were a tank driver.....what would I press......."

It only takes a few moments for inspiration to strike.

"......the correct answer, of course is to PRESS EVERYTHING." You proudly declare, and go about pulling, turning, and twisting everything you can get your hands on.

EERRRRK---EERRRRK

"Well, this swivel-y thing just makes me turn....."

SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK

"Oh, come on, now I'm just going faster!"

PSSSSSHHHH

"AHA! THAT did it. I am no longer moving. Pure genius."

You sit in silence for a few seconds, taking another swig of extremely expensive wine as you do.

".........but that was kind of boring..............TIME TO FIRE THE CANNON!"

You clamber up into the turret part of the tank, and instantly implement your amazing button-pressing prowess to determine how it works.

---5 MINUTES LATER---

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" You scream, as the turret spins around incessantly, you having managed to load a round without exploding yourself.

"ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND WE GO! WHAT I EXPLODE, NOBODY KNOWS!"

At that exact moment, you accidentally kick the firing mechanism. You're not sure how, you just do.

KATHOOM

The M1A2 Abrams roars its report as it launches a M380A1 HEAT round from the M256A1 120 mm smoothbore gun at over 5200 feet per second..........somewhere. You're not really sure where the hell the round went.

"Ahhhh, well. Not like I'm going to hurt anybody out here." You mumble to yourself from your upside-down position, having been completely knocked on your ass from the tank's fire.

------NOT THAT FAR AWAY----

"Come, my men!" The captain of the guard, riding astride his horse, shouts to the score of men behind him. "We are the spearhead that shall seek out our enemies, so that they may be crushed by the might of our kingdom! By the decree of our Lord Farnsworth, laid so close to death's door, we shall find these cowardly, traitorous mages, so that they may face justice for their crimes! They shall pay for their consorting with demons and monsters, displaying such heresy against the human race itself! We shall purify their souls, in the name of our holy justice!"

The men roar their agreement, thrusting their spears into the air, their armor rattling as they cheer their righteousness.

"Captain! There be something over yonder!" One front-line soldier cries, pointing urgently.

The captain swings his horse around, peering into the distance.

"What manner of thing is this? It appears to be some sort of strange carriage.......though it is built rather strangely, and is moving on it's own. Dark magic be afoot here, men!"

KATHOOM

"The carriage roars! What manner of----"

The captain speaks no more as the murderous tank round plows right through him, sending blood and gore flying everywhere. It the impacts the hill behind him, landing directly in the middle of the tightly-packed formation of troops behind him. The men scream in agony as they are torn to shreds by the fragmentation, limbs flying and blood staining the field as they are killed or horribly maimed. Some of the surviving soldiers begin to attempt limp back towards the village, one or two of them doing so despite their legs being nothing more than ribbons.

"IT BE DEMONS' WORK! BLACK SORCERY IS AFOOT HERE!" One soldier sobs in horror, clutching the remnants of his arm.

---BACK IN THE TANK----

"Yeah, I'm sure they won't miss a round. No biggie." You relax in the seat, swigging down more of your wine. Wine always tastes more delicious when it's liberated from THE MAN.

Suddenly, the sound of engines cuts through your inebriation. Well, other ones. Besides the Abrams. And some sort of wailing noise, but it's probably just the wind.

>What do?

[ ] [pop out of the hatch, check what's going on]

[ ] [too lazy, try to shoot it with the cannon so you can have a nap]

[ ] [seal hatch, engage "GET OFF MY LAWN" protocol]

[ ] [imbibe more liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22076515
I am so glad I rolled a 20. Silly inquisition, trying to beat my cannon!
[X] whats going on in this bitch?
[X] imbibe liquor.

>>22076515
oh god

>[ ] [pop out of the hatch, check what's going on]
It might be our harem! And Fritz!

And I guess the Bruces too??

>Dying soldiers = not funny
>Dying racist, psycho-religious medieval fuckwit red shirts accidentally killed off by a drunk hobo in a stolen tank = HILAAAAARIOUS
>OP's reaction to having the first combat encounter in forever getting accidentally auto-won by way of nat 20 = strange looks at work because he can't stop snickering

Rolled 15

>>22076515
Invite Moira and Zuli to be the gunner and the loader as we DRIVE TO VICTORY.

The foxgirls will just have to hang on to the outside.

Rolled 13

>>22076707
fix girls make the best reactive armor

Rolled 1

>>22077182
fox* girls, clearly I have
>[ ] Imbibe Liquor
too much, or not enough as the case may be

>>22076515

[X] [pop out of the hatch, check what's going on]

Captcha says: expect rgelyte

Is Rgelyte the name of the next monster-girl for the harem?

Rolled 5

>>22076515
Send Mini slime to take a look while you sit here and drink.

>>22077811
Minislime can't communicate with us.

Rolled 14

>>22077977
Actually, she's communicated with us just fine: taken orders, appeared when called, and [x]imbibed liquor on command. Much like the Hobo King.

It's the talking part she's refrained from. Maybe we should ask her to talk?

>Speaking of.
[x]imbibed liquor
[x]imbibed liquor
[x]imbibed liquor
[x]imbibed liquor
[x]imbibed liquor
[x]imbibed liquor

>>22077977

Then we shall have to teach her.
Also, look out the hatch and prepair for zuli...

Rolled 19

>>22078060

Forgot to roll again... damn touch screen tablet crap...

>>22076515
[x] [pop out of the hatch, check what's going on]
[x] [seal hatch, engage "GET OFF MY LAWN" protocol]
[x] [imbibe more liquor]

in that order

>>22077266

>huehuehue

As you drink your wine in celebration, you notice the sounds outside getting louder, until they become clear.

Chills go down your soine as you hear this horrifying noise.

"HUEHUEHUEHUAHUARAUAHSUAHAUAEEHAUEHEYEGUAHEYH"

It continues, growing in volume and proximity, until you realize the source is right above you, on top of the tank hatch. As you look down to lock it, you notice something is not right.

You have breasts.

As you feel inside your pants, you notice your manhood is gone, and has been replaced by its female equivalent.

Before you can do anything, however, the hatch opens.

>fucking interruptions, continues in a minute

>>22078397
Oh god, we are about to get Honked. BY A BRUCE/MONSTERGIRL!!!

>>22078397

And the Lincoln was the harem...

>>22078442
3deep5me

This pleases the Hobo King. Go on.....

>>22078471
Wait, thats not you?

>>22078507
Nope. But it's nice to know my rule to allow outsourcing of vore gets me EVEN MORE VORE. AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

>>22078514

does this mean that you accept what essentially breaks down into fan-fics?

>>22078514
BUT THEN WHO WAS PHONE.
>>22078536
HK fanfics. Heh. Lincoln x General x Johnson.

>>22078536
Actual fanfics? I don't think I've gotten far enough into the quest to have crafted something deserving of fanfics. If someone wants to write one, do so. But I'd ask that they link to it instead of posting it directly into the thread so people don't get confused.

Vore, on the other hand, I actively encourage, and I don't give a shit where you post it, because it amuses me and anyone who expects me to take this seriously hasn't been paying attention.

BRING ON THE HUEHUEHUE.

>>22078397

As you look up, you are blinded by the sudden flash of sunlight. Before you can even shield your eyes, you feel a massive hand grab you and pull you out of the tank, and pass out.

When you come to, you notice that you are being held down, and that a woman in some sort of large black armour-

Wait, that's not a woman. Women don't have massive erect cocks. That's a man.

Beside the woman is a large group of what must have been the source of the noise you saw before: Large figures in green abd yellow armor. As they stand next to the futa, you see them stroking their massive purple erections and shouting several thing at you, from questions,

"BR? BRBR?",

to demands and threats,

"GIBE MONI PLS OR I REPORTIU",

to their incessant crescendo song,

"HUEHUEHUSHUAHUEHAUEHAUHAUEHAHSUDHAUEHUSHAUSAH"

You can only gess at what they mean.

The white-haired figure clears her throat, and the chattering men stop. She looks you up and down before smiling and saying:

"So you're that Lincoln I keep hearing about... Well, you're no Max Decarius, but I suppose you'll do..."

As soon as she stops speaking, she begins to walk towards you, licking her lips. The noisy yellow men return to the terrible song, in unison:

"uhueahusheuahsushheuauauUHUEHUEHUEEHEUJAEAHYEAGYUHEASHUEASHHUEHUEHUEHEUEHEU"

Their cries are so deafening, you almost don't notice when the woman penetrates you newly acquired pussy, letting out a satisfied moan as she does.

"Wha- what are you doing?", you squeal in a suprisingly high-pitched voice. "No! Stop! It's too big, it hurts!"

But the woman in black doesn't stop.

>field too long

>>22078660

She only goes faster and faster, just like the chanting. There are no breaks on this rape train.

The woman's phallus, while looking big, feels even bigger as she thrusts it inside your tender new pussy. It hurts, but feels good as well, but you can't help but feel violated and satisfied at the same time.

The woman goes on for a few more minutes until she begins to climax. As she does, the green and yellow figures go silent for a second, soon unanimously erupting into a deafening cry as the futa fills you with her seed:

"aaaaaeeeeHOOOOOOOOOOOO"

>>22078686
>>22078660
My god, its full of futa and MtF!

>>22078686

and that was the day Lincoln decided to give ALL THE GIRLS, EVER a truly satisfying experience...

>>22078686
>>22078660
You know, my computer just blue-screened like an asshole, and I have to retype the whole damn next post. I was pretty pissed about that.

......BUT THIS MAKES IT ALL BETTER. LYCHERIA FUTA AND NOISE MARINE RAPE IN MAH THREAD. GLOOOOORIOUS!

>>22078691
I know, right? I can't believe I've been neglecting such things. I'm still such a HUEmateur.

>>22078686

The dickgirl's thrusting finally dies down, as do the chants. She smiles, stands back up, and watches you laying down, wet, pinned down, and violated, with a smug look of satisfaction.

On of her companions hesitates for a moment, then says, in its horrendous voice, "GIBE PLS?".

The futa grins and nods her head.

You can only look at the in horror as the BRmarines form a semicircle around you, resume their chanting, and begin to take turns on you.

>meanwhile, in the warp

Comissar Max Decarius practically jumps out of his bed full of delicious heretical ass, feeling horrified, yet intensly relieved at the same time.

>so there it is, not actually vore, and basically ripped off of Papa-N's old quest. I hole this will stave off further punishment for now. And that you all enjoyed, of course.

>>22078756
Its okay HK. Your vore is the only vore I enjoy. Because it is hilarious.

>>22078791
HUEHUEHAHAHUEHAHAHAHUEHAHUE

Man, I wish Papa was here to see this. I'm dying. Thank god there's no students here, as I'm pretty sure they'd be annoyed at how my raucous laughter interrupted their studies.

>>22078805
Your compliments are both appreciated and spur me to continuously up my game in hopes of eventually passing your comfort zone. I SHALL ONE DAY CONSTRUCT THE VORE TO END ALL VORE.

>>22078833
I just don't understand the appeal of it, it isn't outside my comfort zone. But I'd gladly read the vore to end all vore.

>>22078853
Ahahaha. My favorite moment is when I get the "oh dear god what"s. Half the reason I write the vore is for the reactions. The other half, of course, is because I fucking can.

>>22078833

Many thanks, Hobi-King. It took me a day and a thread to get a chance to do so, but I finally managed to make some HUEHEUHUA. (I'm the guy that asked whether you still take vore). I'll have to leave soon, but I think I'd like to get a name first, when I post more HUEHUE. Suggestions are encouraged, and almost certainly better than anything I could ever come up with.

Also, Papa-N, if you're reading this, I'd like to dedicate this HUEHUEAHUE to you, and your quests. All of them. Good hunting to you, and may you find endless Oilers, Monstergirl ass/tail and nuggets in the afterlife, /k/omrade.

>>22078922
I second this. Here's hoping he pops in again soon; I miss his hilarity. I know he's busy though, so hopefully things are going well for him in the meantime.

Well, you don't really know how you fired the gun the first time, so you doubt you can manage a repeat performance. You'll just have to pop out the hatch and see what's what. If they suck, maybe you can throw the bottle at them or something. Or just run them the hell over. Bitch, you've got a tank, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Clambering up out of your seat, you slowly peak over the top of the hatch. You are met with the sight of two idling Humvees: one mostly filled with your monstergirl cabal, and the other holding the rest of the spec ops.

"Psssssst. Minislime. It appears we have visitors." You whisper aloud, sipping from your wine bottle. A bit of cough suppression later, and minislime has flowed out onto your shoulder. She forms her arms and makes a stretching motion with them, though her face remains as deadpan as ever. Chill as ice, this one is.

"Oh, were you sleeping? My apologies." Or whatever it is slimes do in place of sleep, you don't know. She turns to stare at you with a blank look. Well, whatever. She doesn't seem too bothered by it.

"Anyway. Do you see what I see?" The miniature slime girl turns, placing her hand on her forehead as she peers out into the field. Pointing at the Humvees, she turns her head to look at you expectantly. Or what you think is expectantly. Minislime is awesome, but she can be a bit hard to read sometimes.

"Yes, I see them too.........aaaaaaaand judging by how angry Johnson looks, I'm considering just closing the hatch and staying in the tank. That's a strategy, right? Hiding is a legitimate strategy, right?" You take another drink from your deliciously expensive wine.

Your miniature blue sidekick looks down, finger to her chin as if she's thinking for a moment. She then looks back up at you and jiggles a bit, which you guess is a shrug.

"LINCOLN, QUIT TALKING TO YOUR WEIRD SLIME-THING PET AND GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" Johnson roars as he gets out of the Humvee.

"Uh oh. I think he sees us, Minislime." You urgently whisper to your alcoholic pseudo-daughter.

"CROUCHING DOWN IS NOT MAKING YOU ANY BETTER HIDDEN, LINCOLN."

"GET OFF MY LAWN!" You yell back, ducking down and slamming the hatch behind you.

A few seconds later, the hatch opens up, revealed Johnson staring wordlessly down at you with an extremely annoyed expression on his face.

"......I don't actually know how to lock the hatch." You offer meekly.

"Noted." He coldly replies, before hauling you out of the tank and hurling you onto the grass.

You hit the ground with a distinct thump. Thankfully, minislime flows over your face to shield it from the damage of the fall.

"Thmmmmmbbk Ybbbbbbbbu." You burble into the miniature slimegirl's body from your face-down position on the field. Minislime flows off your face to reform on your head, staring wordlessly at the Spec Ops as they dismount from the Humvees.

"Well, at least you had the decency not to go too far. That almost makes up for the fact that YOU STOLE A GODDAMNED TANK, YOU MORON!" Johnson screams at you, unable to contain his rage for the entire sentence.

"To be fair, it was possibly the greatest battle charge I've ever seen." Fritz snickers, obviously not nearly as concerned about the tanknapping as the Spec Ops CO.

"Shaddup, Fritz! You're nearly as bad as he is! We could have gotten after him a lot faster if you hadn't taken your sweet time saying goodbye to your weird, bubbly slime-thing girlfriend." Johnson snaps at the laughing Sergeant.

"....Her name is Minerva, and like I said, It's NOT like that!" Fritz fires back, though the slight red on his face makes him less than convincing.

"But it wiiiiiill beeeeeeeee....." You sing humorously from your position on the ground.

"Shaddup, Lincoln." Fritz mutters, his face slightly redder. There's no way he can rebut that without lying out his ass.

"Why does it smell like propellant around here?" Not-Bruce, Model: Lopez asks, sniffing the air.

"I have no idea. It's certainly not because I somehow managed to fire off the cannon while I was flailing around inside that tank." You offer, your excuse absolutely flawless. They'll never suspect a thing.

Johnson groans as he hops off the tank. "You goddamned hobo maniac, is there nothing that doesn't explode when you touch it? Thank sweet christ you just didn't set it off on the other side of the portal, where you could have hit something. Somebody might have gotten killed."

---MEANWHILE---

Flies buzz around the captain of the guard's upper torso as they feed on his entrails. An blank look of the beginnings of shock is still frozen on his face.

---AND BACK AGAIN---

"Yeah, no worries about that here, Captain. There's nothing around for miles, eh?"

"Shaddup, Dave. I'm trying to think." Johnson grumbles, his face screwed up in deep thought.

About half a minute later, his eyes turn to the shopping cart tied to the back of your tank.

He stares at the pile of guns and booze that makes up a sizeable portion of the cart's contents for a long moment.

"Where the FUCK did you even GET half of these!? They're not even standard issue!!!"

>What IS in your shopping cart, anyway?
>If you want unusual things, now is the time to suggest them, /tg/

>You are also allowed to copypasta your suggestions from the previous thread
>or copypasta for people who aren't here at the moment

Rolled 20

>>22079273
I'm still voting for a barrel of Kalashnikovs.

>>22078660
>>22078686
D-did pappy-N just anonyhue us? I feel...used.

>>22079396
If that was him, well-played. But I don't think it was. He usually puts on his trip when he's in here.

Or maybe he doesn't? Fuck if I know. As long as he finds it amusing.

And not as used as Lincoln was feeling right then. HUEHUEHUE

>>22079350
Fer starters:
http://www.blackhawk.com/product/CQD-Weapon-Catch,153,94.htm
For our drunk bisexual batgirl: M14 EBR
And thats all the weird stuff I could think of.
>>22079383
No.

>>22079383

does this mean that we can have a barrel of Kalashnikov golems?
please say this means we can have a barrel of Kalashnikov golems...

>>22079474
..........................maybe.

>>22079485
Busty, milf tankgirl with kalashnikov loli harem?

File: 1355718854253.gif-(499 KB, 319x240, drooooooool.gif)

>>22079497

>>22079450

some fun weapons;
TDI KRISS Super V XSMG - a recoil free SMG, 'no more praying when you're spraying'
CheyTac Intervention M-200 - a computer-assisted sniper rifle

for further information...
>http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment_200/248b_top_10_list.html

File: 1355718959638.jpg-(215 KB, 528x700, 1355717835275.jpg)

Rolled 11

>>22079273
pic related, Zuli can get this

>>22079273
A goddamn RPG-7.

Also, how about a 5ft-tall stack of Penthouse and Playboy magazines? For the articles.

Lots of articles.

Rolled 19

>>22079533
ballistics computer works to help you correctly dial your scope in, does absolutely nothing to the rifle, that still requires a human with skill

File: 1355719124158.jpg-(26 KB, 432x301, GE_XM214_Minigun-2.jpg)

>>22079545
light weight.

>>22079521
That better be a yes. The tank better be named Sheila, too.

Rolled 10

>>22079584
but she cant dual wield with that

Rolled 17

>>22079582

and? would you rather we had automated gun drones?....

Hobo King, can we have automated gun drones...
can a combination of the magic of Riftia and HOBO-SWAG cause them to become sentient, yet submissive, golems aswell...

File: 1355719445278.jpg-(414 KB, 900x1193, rtil_tf2-heavy-weapons-girl.jpg)

>>22079601
YOU ARE THINKINK WE NEED DUAL WIELD WITH GLORIOUS MINIGUN? HAH. YOUR GUN IS FIT FOR BABIES!

>>22079670
I am not giving you all the good shit right off the bat. What would you have to look forward to if I just dropped everything in your lap? At least try to find a wizard or something.

Rolled 2

>>22079474
It's a mimic girl, but with guns inside.

>>22079726
FUCK YOU WE ARE A BOOZE WIZARD.

>>22079597
WHY DOES IT HAVE SIX PEDALS IF THERES ONLY 4 DIRECTIONS?

Woah there, are we back? Can I post again? It looked like the whole of 4chan stopped for a little bit.

Rolled 18

>>22079818
Seems so. Do we have more questing?

Rolled 3

>>22079726
our next course of action is obvious.
we're off to see the wizard.
Prehaps a necromancer?

Rolled 15

>>22079845
Whichever one gets us a busty tankmilf with loli rifle harem faster.

>>22079841
Oh, of course. I was wondering what was going on, is all.

Rolled 2

>>22079775
BECAUSE IT CAN FLY MOTHERFUCKER!

>>22079545
What is this, anyway? I've never seen it before.

>>22080129
prop gun made for one of the resident evil movies

>>22080292
Thaaaaaaat would explain it.

>>22080129
That'd be the minigun used by Nemesis in one of the shitty Resident Evil movies.

captcha: poetic seekfac
Yes, captcha, face-seeking bullets would be a poetic accessory to ANY gun.

File: 1355731752317.jpg-(30 KB, 260x260, spirytusrektyfikowany.jpg)

>>22079273
>>22079273

What is in the back of your shopping cart?

WHAT IS IN THE BACK OF YOUR SHOPPING CART?

A drink, taken off the shelves of hell itself. Lincoln grabbed it without even thinking, just grabbing as much booze as he can. But this drink, this is the drink drunks are scared of.

I have seen a man, who cannot control his drink take one look at the bottle and go sober for the rest of his life. The look of utter fear that crossed his face, like he stared into the clear abyss of alcohol demise. Like all drunks, this drunk knew that if there ever was a drink that could kill a man, this would be it.

Spirytus Rektyfikowany.

192 proof. 96% Alcohol by volume.

>>22080789
motherofgod

>>22080789
I.......I......there are no words. I shed a manly tear.

I was never even aware such a thing existed. But now?.........I MUST HAVE IT.

>>22080861

Just go to an ethnic polish neighborhoods liquor store. I think it's supposed to be 'illegal' in the states but it never stopped my dad from getting 4 bottles to drink for the holidays.

good times with this stuff. After two shots it feels like an alien is trying to claw it's way out of your stomach.

>>22080861

Also, you are supposed to drink it cold. Drinking it warm can make you go blind.

Just a warning.

>>22080300

Can it be update time now?

>>22081241
I think Hobo King has found a new purpose in life. We may not see him for a while.

>>22081271
>>22081241
HA! I haven't gone back to Chicago for the break yet, so I don't think so. I think it's legal to purchase it in some places there.

>>22081319
Also, if anyone has an issue with me bending the realm of credulity on what Lincoln accidentally got his hands on, speak no or forever hold your piece. Not that I'll listen to you if you DO talk.

>>22081329
>magical pockets of booze'y goodness and MASTER LOCKPICK
I think we're past the point of caring about details like that

>>22081329

Doesn't Lincoln do that on a daily basis?

Johnson goes through your cart, picking up weapons one by one with increasing incredulity.

"Fucking hell! An M14 EBR, a Kriss Super V XSMG, a CheyTac Intervention M-200........OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HOW DID YOU GET AN RPG-7!?!?" Johnson screams out, holding up the RPG poster child.

"Found it."

"F-----FOUND IT!??! What, was it just lying on the goddamn ground!?"

"Uhhhhh, actually, Captain....." Bruce picks this time to speak up. "There WAS a whole bunch of weapons that got "donated" by eager-to-help residents after they heard us shooting at the slimes....."

Johnson stares at Bruce for a moment before slapping his palm to his forehead. "Oh, goddamnit. It would figure that Lincoln would walk right into the damn thing."

With a sigh, he goes back to investigating the rag-tag collection of firearms. "Alright, what the hell else do we have here......M1 Thompson, with the drum even!.........An AUG-A3 CQC, interesting........an AF2011-A1? What's the point of this? I don't get it.......what the hell, a Neostead!? You can't even import these yet!.........OH COME ON, this is an MTs-255, what the HELL are the customs officers doing!..........1216 shotgun........And OBREZ!? How the hell do you even fire this thing.......A LeMat Revolver!? Must be from that antique dealer......." The Spec Ops CO stops dead for a few moments and then begins violently shaking his head.

"No. NO. Just----No. There is no goddamned way I'm looking at these two things. It makes no sense. Fuck off, bullshit. Someone can wake me up now."

"What are they, Cap?" Fritz asks, genuinely curious now.

"It----It's........It's an Enfield EM-2." Johnson dejectedly groans, despairing as he gives up on it not being real.

"What the----!?" Fritz's face twists in confusion.

"And a Korobov TKB-022." Johnson miserably finishes, as reality cock-slaps him in the face again. "I can hardly believe these things EXIST, let alone being here."

His despair quickly turns to rage, however, as he rounds on you once again. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, YOU REALITY-WARPING SON OF A BITCH!? GIVE ME BACK MY NICE AND QUIET CAREER!" He throttles you mercilessly as you flail like a rag doll.

"GURRRHK-----I was just------GAAAAAHK----being------UUGGHGGKGK-----resourceful....." you choke out as the angry soldier attempts to squeeze the life out of you.

"Johnson, you probably shouldn't ACTUALLY kill him, you know. We still need him." Fritz points out.

"A fair point. One which I will never live down." Johnson grumbles as he dumps you unceremoniously on the ground, leaving you coughing for breath.

"Uuuuuuugh.......let's just get moving. We can bring the tank with us, since going back to the General right now might give him a heart attack." Johnson trots over to the Humvee, pulling out the copy of the map you gave to the General. Or at least A copy of it.

Johnson addresses Illiana who, along with the rest of the non-humans, have piled out of their humvee and have been watching the unveiling of the cart of wonders.

"Hey, fox lady. Can you show me where on the map we are, and where certain places we need to go are? We're gonna need them if we don't want to get lost and starve to death......"

"Erm....w-well......yes, but I'm afraid I'm not too aware of any locations besides ones that are spoken of often, or those that are near my village." Illiana looks a bit crestfallen at her lack of knowledge. Probably should talk with her about it at some point.

"That's fine, good enough. Now, there are three different locations we could all set out for. We could head for the rest of the human kingdoms, scope out the nature of these countries. We could head straight towards the foxgirls' village, and then from there head straight on into non-human and demon territory. Or finally, we could head north and make a beeline for the coast, try to figure out what's going on sea-wise."

"Any votes? From anyone? This is an unconventional mission and we have almost no intel. It really doesn't matter which way we go first, as long as you have a good reason for it." The spec ops CO stares menacingly at you again.

>Which way do you go?

[ ] [human kingdoms to the east]

[ ] [non-human kingdoms to the northwest]

[ ] [head north to the coast]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22081528
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [SOUTH]
>[X] [DO IT FAGGOT]

Rolled 4

>>22081528

firstly, hand out weapons to the girls and explain how to use them. and by that i mean show them which way is forward and that the trigger makes it go boom...
then we go east to take over the lands of stupid lord whatever-his-name-is. possibly setting his castle on fire, for the third time...

Rolled 12

>>22081675
You, sir. I like your style. We can spin it as "establishing a local stronghold"

Rolled 10

>>22081806
Er...if we actually take over the castle, rather then setting it on fire. Again.

Rolled 10

>>22081815

the fire will act as a sign to the villages that this is the first of the new United Kingdoms of Riftia! under the loving rule of EMPEROR LINCOLN!!!

Rolled 18

>>22081518
>Neostead
Hoboking, I love you, just a little bit.

Rolled 14

>>22081528

[ ] [non-human kingdoms to the northwest]

We should get the baby foxgirl back home before she gets into trouble.

>>22081528
>[X]Imbibe Liquor

also, does our tank run on magical never-ending constantly replenishing fuel? if so maybe send it for a recon in force opposite to where we end up going

Rolled 11

>>22081980
forgot to roll

Alright guys, I have to go drive my friend to the airport, and then I REALLY need to get some sleep. I've been working for most of the day, and I need to recharge. Especially since this is where the quest gets veeeeerrry branchy. I wanna be in my best game.

>>22081528
Im afraid he passed out again....

Regardless, lets 'establish a stronghold' then with our new power base establish diplomatic contact with the foxgirls.

>>22082414
>>22082409
gah, almost called it

>>22082409
...just as I wake up too!

>>22079423
>>22079396
>implying my shitty non-proofread writing is comparable to Papa-N's.

I must admit I'm flattered someone thought it was him, though. Anyway,

[x] East

>>22082442
My apologies, but I'm going on over 24 hours now. I just got back from the airport and I'm about ready to collapse. Swift continuation will come the moment I awaken, I promise.

Rolled 7

>>22079497

i am working on a sketch of anthro-tank girl for if see; when we humanize the tank. i wanted to know if she should be scaled down to normal person size or remain tank size, if she should have proper legs or just a torso on tracks, ect...

>>22083586
tank size.
like a transformer but sexy and also a tank.

>>22083656
inb4 ''my treads are moving on their own!''

File: 1355753294041.jpg-(12 KB, 300x300, 41ebfZjnsZL._SL500_AA300_[1].jpg)

Rolled 2

>>22083586
Maybe like pic, just with boobs?
If you like the layout, there are more pics and sketches of it over here: http://www.mahq.net/mecha/gundam/unicorn-ova/d-50c.htm

>>22081528
Humn. Maybe:
Johnson, Lopez, Bruce and Dave go to
>[X] [human kingdoms to the east]

Foxes, Zuli, Moria, Lincoln and Fritz head towards
>[X] [non-human kingdoms to the northwest]
Fritz can do a taticool assessment of defenses needed, Scout the location, in other words.

Time to Split the party!

Rolled 19

>>22083728

thanks for the idea. very helpful indeed.
will post exploded concept once i have stolen the various segments i plan on salvaging...

Rolled 7

>>22083728
I second this motion.

Rolled 14

>>22083728
>>22084183

does this mean that you want a robot/tank transformer rather than a girl/tank?

i would like to know how organic everyone wants her to be.

also, is Sheila the accepted name for the tank or does everyone want a different one? i can't into names so i'll go with what everyone else wants...

Rolled 2

>>22084530
You could always have an option where the armor slides off to cover the treads, revealing delicious human legs that go all the way up. Or half and half it like some of the Mecha Musume / Gundam Girls. There is no Gundam Girl D-50C Loto, sadly - I looked, but couldn't fine one to use as a reference.

Anyway, you're the artist - do as you will. we will remain amused regardless.

Also, maybe the main turret should split in half to make her arms? This would make the main Gun barrel a 'rifle' for her in humanoid mode.

File: 1355762762794.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 784 KB, 3904x4632)

>>22084749

i kind of used the turret as a kind of 'backpack', used for storing the 'extra armour plating' in. after all, it gets hot spending the day in such thick heavy armour, sometimes you've got to take it off...

WARNING! THIS IMAGE MAY OFFEND ANYONE WITH A SENSE OF QUALITY OR TASTE! VIEW AT OWN PERIL! NO RESPOSIBILITY FOR ANY NEGATIVE EFFECTS WILL BE TAKEN BY THE ARTIST!
if you could even call him that...

File: 1355764900278.png-(638 KB, 1000x1800, tank.png)

>>22084849

Hold on man, I sorta got you covered here. Thanks for the inspiration.

>>22085125
i like where this is going

>>22085733

i'm working on an out-of-armour version...

this one will have some modicum of ability used on it...

GODDAMNIT, WHY DOES EVERYTHING INTERESTING HAPPEN WHILE I'M ASLEEP

>>22086109

because when you're not here we have to keep ourselves amused???

that and it gives you a good laugh to wake up to...

>>22086165
A fair point. Also, I had my own ideas for tank girl, but I'm perfectly happy to use all of your ideas instead.

>>22085125
>Tank Girl floppy mohawk thing
Nice touch

>>22086188
>Also, I had my own ideas for tank girl
Well you cant say that without sharing.

File: 1355772410617.jpg-(16 KB, 303x312, reac.jpg)

>>22086221

>>22086289
Alright, alright. Just let me nail down the details in my head first.

>>22086367

isn't that medically inadvisable? i would also assume that it would hurt severely, possibly doing irreversible damage. further more....

oh, metaphorical not literal...
sorry...

>>22086352
I prefer full mohawk or full bald, but I cant snub a good floppyhawk when done right.

Rolled 7

>>22084849
You know... if you modified the back pack into one of those one strap satchels, The turret could depress enough to fire over her shoulder like the D-50C Loto single cannon.

Just a thought.

File: 1355774037508.jpg-(12 KB, 180x325, tank girl.jpg)

>>22085770

here we go. one out-of-armour version. apologies for poor quality, but i am having to wait until after Christmas to get new hardware...

File: 1355774041712.jpg-(11 KB, 400x300, blasteche5000cannon.jpg)

>>22086597

Something like this, you mean?

File: 1355774288170.jpg-(40 KB, 400x400, d-50c-lr[1].jpg)

Rolled 20

>>22086644
Very much so.

>>22086693

...Welp.

>>22086693

does this mean we now get a gundam-girl?

File: 1355774422293.jpg-(166 KB, 837x639, 1340050530642.jpg)

Rolled 16

>>22086642
Hello! What's this? It looks a little familiar...

Iaminfullsupportofthisaction.png

>>22086717
So long as she eventually acquires an army of rifle lolis too.

Rolled 1

>>22086717
GENTLEMEN!

We have the technology! We have the Magic powers! We can rebuild her - Stronger, Faster, More Humanoid!

We Will Build The Six Million Dollar Tankdam-Girl!

/fanwank.

>>22086727

i did not realise i had turned a M1 tank girl into a Zaku until i posted it...
thinking about it, it does not surprise me as my clan tag in CoD is Zaku...

bonus quote
this is no zaku boy

>>22086813

AND THEN WE WILL GET EATEN BY HER!!!

>>22086825
We expected nothing else.

Rolled 3

>>22086825
I am taking that as a sign the Dice Gods agree with the plan, regardless of how maliciously they choose to express that agreement.

>>22086816
The Second Rachis arts by gearworks is a weird EF / Zeon mishmash - note in the pic, the Zaku style head has no conduits leading to the nose, or braces in the eye slot. The fore-armor is far more rounded, like a GM's, and the main body has more of an RX-78 feel to it, with the chest vents.

I've always thought it was nifty, and seeing your mockup I thought 'HEY! I gotta post this'.

Good to see another Gundam Fan, btw.

>>22086873

for some reason, i have two gundam games, i know a fair bit about the plot but i have never actually watched it... i seen one abbridged episode of g-gundam, but no actual episodes...

then again, i know the majority of Resident Evil lore yet having never touched any of the games...

>>22086367

i fear that Hobo King has actually nailed the ideas into his head and may need medical attention due to this...

also, who would want to partake in Angry General Quest while we wait?

>>22087242
I dunno, that sounds kinda boring. Wouldn't every choice be
[X] GOD DAMN IT LINCOLN

>>22087303
The way things are going I suspect we'd open up the []imbibe liquor option pretty quickly as well.

>>22087336
Yeah, but it'd be depressed drinking, the kind you do with a handgun as a friend.

>>22087242

welcome to pt 1 of Angry General Quest.
you are Brigadier General Williams.
you have been put in charge of overseeing the containment of a dimensional rift which opened up several days ago. you have just sent the recon team on an extended mission to preform further recon, sabotage operations and a unspoken objective; get that damned Lincoln Bismuth killed. that one seems to be the hardest part, as not five minutes ago, you seen him take a punch which would have killed most men with only a scratch, and then somehow he managed to steal one of the Abrams you had positioned at the portal. but the good news is that you are now hobo free. the bad news is that you have to sort out this whole inter-dimensional war thing... damn hobo's... after this is all done, you contemplate purging all the homeless, but that can wait until this portal business is settled.
So, what to start with?

[ ] Compile a report to send to the politicians
[ ] Tidy your office
[ ] Damage Report of hobo related incidents
[ ] Check the Armory and Supplies
[ ] Other

>>22087612
Damage report, and check to see if any of our men are showing weakness mental strain after the hobo incidents.

>>22087689
I'll second that, along with checking the supplies. Damn hobo might have stolen shit

>>22086813
Writing tank girl HUEHUEHUE has begun.

My posting is so goddamned sporadic that I have somehow warped the meta-fabric of the board and spawned a quest within a quest. What the hell.

>>22087713
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>22087767
be proud, or very ashamed. Depending on how drunk you are.

>>22087713
As you are pulled out of your tank, you see that everyone has left their humvees, form a circle. After you manage to get up, Johnson begins to brief the team.

"All right, now that we're all here, let's figure out what to do. Dealing with human nations is obviously not going to work, so how about we head over to the village you... girls are from."

Dave raises his hand.

"Yes, Dave?", Johnson says, already starting to sound rather annoyed. Dave hesitates for a second, then speaks up.

"Do we have enough fuel to last the trip? The village is pretty far away, and tanks aren't exactly the most fuel-efficient vehicles..."

Johnson sighs, his day isn't gonna get any better anytime soon, apparantly.

"Fine, we'll just ditch the tank and some of our supplies. HQ should be sending more men in soon, so nobody will steal it. The humvees havs more than enough fuel for a one-way trip, and if not enough for the return, Lincoln can just haul it back to us by foot.", Johnson says, glaring at you.

Before you can protest, you hear a slightly metallic feminine voice come from behind you.

"My my... I actually am low on fuel."

>i need some fucking food, continues soon

In any case, I have come up with some kind of idea for the tankgirl golem.

First off, she's a mish-mash of organic and mechanical parts. Her mechanical parts are a bit oversized (read: bulkier because they're armoured); with normal human strength, it would unbalance her, but her strength makes it a non issue. She has one organic arm (for more delicate work) and one mechanical arm (for punching the shit out of things). Both feet are mechanical (sort of bulky talon-layout foot for better stability), and the armor one one leg extends further up than the armor on the other leg. She basically has an armored chest plate and waistline (thing bra and panties, but more armor than "form-fitting"). Her joints are made out of her wheels, with the amount of organic overgrow of them varying by joint. The tank TREADS, on the other hand, are bisected into probably about four pieces, and hang off her back like some sort of armored segmented cape. Attached to her actual back is the cannon, which can swivel and maneuver like the Transformers Armada version of Megatron. The coaxial M240s are attached to her forearms, while the .50 is on a mount on her shoulder. She has a sort of face-shroud or facemask (think like the one on the Bomb Disposal suits, except less prominent, not as tall, positioned closer to the face and covering the mouth and part of the nose, if not all of it) that looks like the angular front armor of the Abrams turret.

Finally, she has a floppyhawk (with the ends weighed down by bullets) that covers half of her scalp. The other half is armored, with all the various antennas sticking up from it. One eye is organic, the other is a combination of the various sights and rangefinders.

......That took me a while to think of. It's hard to think with all these nails in my head, after all.

>>22087689
>>22087710

thinking about that damned Lincoln stealing the Abrams reminds you that he had something tied to the back of it.
a startling revelation strikes you and you decide to make a visit to the armory and supply tent.
on your way there, you hear the men talking about the new visitor in quarantine, the girls that the recon team came back with, and some worrying information regarding Lincoln.
You arrive at the supply tent finding the soldier on guard duty heavily inebriated and half asleep. "This smells like Lincoln" entering the tent confirms your suspicions. The place has been ransacked. everything has been thrown all over the place, but the only things clearly missing are the alcohol based products. it seems as though you will have to requisition more supplies. exiting the tent you kick the soldier awake and shout at him to clean up the mess in the tent in the next hour or he'll be on latrine duty for the next month.

the situation with the supplies fresh in your mind, you head to the armory. finding the quarter master unconscious is not a good sign. ordering a pair of nearby soldiers to take him to the medical tent, you brace yourself for the horror that you are sure you will be facing inside.

Roll d20 for psychological effect of hobo based shenanigans.

also, Hobo King, you are welcome to participate in HQ: AGQ. however, if it offends you, i will cease to do it...

>>22087946
>Finally, she has a floppyhawk (with the ends weighed down by bullets) that covers half of her scalp.

That is all I need to know.

Proceed, please.

Rolled 17

>>22087999
Wait, if we roll a 1, does our brain vore us?

Rolled 20

>>22087999
Is high good or bad?

Rolled 11

>>22088072
There's a horrifying thought. Having our brain climb out and eat our somehow-still-aware body. Sounds like a REALLY bad acid trip.

>>22087946

>gonna use that now

>>22087886

"Good thing we have all these nice sources of fuel, right girls?"

You hear another two slightly higher-pitched voices answer the first.

"Yes! Can I have the girls?"

"No, you always get the girls, I want the girls this time!"

When you and your team turn around, you are all faced with a scene you didn't think you'd see, even in this dimension.

Apparantly, your vehicles have turned into women.

Your tank has been replaced with a large female figure. She looks part organic, part mechanic. She appears to have a metalic bra and panties, as well as a mechanical arm and a organic looking one.

Below her, you see two smaller, nearly identical figures, your team's humvees. They are smaller slimmer than the tank girl, who towers over them. Both also have the mechanical/organic arms, and the armor bra and pantsu, but smaller. As the rest of your companions look at them in shock, you reflect on your time spent on /d/, and wonder if an airplane girl will show up too.

Eventually, when she notices your gawking, the tank girl puts the humvee's fight to a stop.

"Gama, Emmy, enough! If you two keep fighitng, none of you get any! Each of you get half of the boys, and half of the girls, understood?"

The smaller mecha girls immediatly stop and snap to their apparant leader.

"Ok, Lori... Can we get our refuel now?"

The tank-woman-thing smiles, somehow, then says,

"Of course, as long as I get the guy that was inside me. I think he'll last a bit longer than the rest."

>field too long

Rolled 7

>>22088092
>There's an amazing thought. Having our brain climb out and eat our somehow-still-aware body. Sounds like a REALLY bad acid trip.
FTFY.

>>22088092

Or a Pink Floyd music video.

...Which is...basically the same thing, now that I think about it.

>>22087999
What to do.....I want to encourage player contribution and whatnot, but at the same time I don't want this thread to turn into a clusterfuck. I mean, more than it already is, considering they run for three days on average and spiral off into ridiculous tangents.

using the same system as HoboKing, though i can't do vore, i have something else planned for 1's though....

>>22088084

entering the tent, you are expecting to find a lot of nothing, or a large pile of primed explosives, however the actual sight is less distressing. Yes there is ALOT of things missing, however, luck is in your favour as most of the stuff is old surplus equipment or the stuff that the locals were 'donating', though seriously, who thought that a SEA MINE would be helpful in ANY LAND BASED SITUATION!?
Back to the situation at hand, the most important thing missing is the experimental weapon that the boys in R&D wanted you to try. Nano-Weapons. not something you ever wanted to even think about using, you'd rather die than use those uncontrollable death mach....
if you were not such a stern and formidable man, a grin rivaling the Cheshire cats' would form on your face as you realize the most positive thought you have ever had in all your extensive military career. Lincoln has a Nano-weapon. Lincoln has an Uncontrollable Nano-weapon. Lincoln has an Uncontrollable Death Machine and he doesn't even know it!
you leave the armory in less of a foul mood than when you entered. you even manage to let the drunken soldier off with a good earbashing. how generous of you!

now, what next general?
[ ] Compile a report to send to the politicians
[ ] Tidy your office
[ ] Damage Report of hobo related incidents
[ ] Other

>>22088318

if you want, this could be a one off thing untill you next update the plot...

>>22088336
>>22088319
Hmmmm. Well, that works. I give thee permission to run this until I can manage to get the next post together. I'm taking a bit longer on this one, considering it will affect the entire course of the quest. Gotta make sure I do it right.

>>22088268
>god damn it, my name disappeared

As the two previous vehicles turn toward your still shocked group, Johnson is the first to snap out of his confusion. As he starts running towards the portal, he screams,

"NO! NONONO! I am NOT getting eaten today! SHIIIIIT!"

Before he can reach the portal, however, Lori grabs him, dangles him over her mouth for a second, then drops him, swallowing him. As she rubs her belly, the rest of your girls and the Not-Bruces begin to panic.

None of them escape.

Moira is caught out of the air by Emmy, then swallowed whole.

Zuli tries to snap one of the girl's "ankles", but is kicked up and swallowed by Gama.

The remaining Not-Bruces open fire with their assault rifles at the tank, who giggles.

"S-stop! T-that tickles!"

Before the soldiers can reach for their bigger guns, however, they're snatched up by the towering woman's friends, and eaten.

"Mmmm... that's some pretty efficient fuel. I'll be running with that for a looong time.", one of them says.

The foxgirls attempt to barrage the two with their fireballs, but they still haven't recharged, and are pitifully small. The girls at least don't think that tickles.

"Ouch! No no no, bad fuel canister! You'll light my gas up!"

As the humvee girls pick the former bandits up, they find themselves unable to make any more magic.

"Huh, at least that's over. Well, bottoms up!", says Gama, as she eats hers.

Emmy eats her foxgirls as well, who scream all the way down. You know, now that you think of it, you think you can hear some muffled moaning from inside all of the girls...

All of the girls turn to you, and it dawns upon you that you can't rech the portal in time...

>>22088319
[X] Report to the politicians. Even THE MAN deserves to know some stuff.

>>22088383
No, that'll get our ulcer going. The backlash alone...

[X] Tidy our office.

>>22088370
Before you can scramble for your RPG, Lori grabs you, and holds you above her head. You notice she has a floppy mohawk.

"So... you girls satisfied?"

"Yes, we both have full tanks!". the humvee girls respond in unison.

"Excellent..." the tank responds, in a slightly lower voice.

"Now... I get to fill up for once", Lori says to herself, in a husky voice.

Before you can even react, you're already going down her gullet.

It feels... odd. Warm and moist, yet hard.

Any further contemplations are cut short as you fall into a vat full of liquid. It looks like like motor oil, but smells and tastes like... Oh.

Before you can even swim up to the surface, you are grabbed by several mechanical arms and wires, that quickly strip off your clothes and being to stroke your main cannon.

You are lost in the bliss as the liquid around you slowly heats up, and are already numb from coming by the time it begins to boil.

All becomes black as you are lost in a mix of white hot pleasure and white hot burning.

>there, some actual vore
>If you get the references to the girl's names, you deserve free internets, and are mah nigga

Next post incoming, just a warning.

"I VOTE WE GO GET MY CASTLE!" You immediately blurt out, eager to begin your mighty conquest of the region.

"No." Johnson immediately shuts you down.

"BUT WHY!?" You wail.

"Maybe because we're NOT technically at war yet!? We don't have the authority to---"

"Booooooooooooo. That's stupid and you're boring. I fucking SHOT Lord Assclown. With the way HE was acting, I doubt he's going to have anything less than revenge on his mind. I mean, assuming he's not dead. Depends on if the cleric woke up or not."

"Wait, what cleric?" Johnson asks, suspicion evident in his voice.

"There was a dude in robes and he healed me after Zuli clobbered me again. So I made him take me to the courtyard. And then jumped out a window with him. He kinda fainted. Like a bitch."


"........so you're telling me you found someone who can do healing magic, and then egregiously abused him for his hospitality."

"Doctors are evil."

"............I hate you so much, you know that?"

Your only response is another loud gulp from your wine bottle.

"........aaaaaaargh. You know what? Fine. There's actually some tactical advantages to re-investigating the nearby town first. We'll survey it, find some locals, try to knock some answers out of them."

"WOOOOOOO I GET MAH---"

"We are NOT conquering the town, Lincoln! We do not have enough men, and I'm not slaughtering a ton of people to quiet your crazy, no matter how much it annoys me."

"Awwwwwww......." You slump over in defeat. You're NEVER going to get a castle at this rate.

After we survey the town, we'll come back here to resupply, then head for the foxgirls' village. We need to secure the agreement as soon as possible. And I have some.....doubts......about the combat efficiency of some of our little group." He stares pointedly at the little Faye, who hides behind her tail at his harsh glare.

"Now, Lincoln, as much as I hate you, I need to give you back your gear and----"

You're not listening, though. You sprinted off towards the Abrams the moment he gave you a clear idea of where to go. The tank's engine roars as it begins it's advance towards the town, weaving drunkenly as you try to amateurishly figure out how to actually drive the damn thing.

"HI-HO TANKY, AWAAAAAAAAY!" You scream from inside the tank. Johnson just watches you drive with a look of misery on his face.

"......uh, Captain.....so are we----"

"Just get in the damn Humvee. Fuck my life."

>>22088682
>You're NEVER going to get a castle at this rate.
Good thing, too. Castlegirl vore would be the worst.

Rolled 1

>>22088718
I think of a Castle as a group of things, a keep, the walls, the armory, etc. It's not a castlegirl, it's a castle-harem.

And it's the best thing.

>>22088748
Isn't it, indeeeeeeeeed.

File: 1355783561320.png-(95 KB, 465x343, Smash.png)

Rolled 8

>>22088748
>hiveminded castlegirl made up of smaller building-girls Voltron style
>she meets a siege tower girl

>>22088753

looks like you get your fun again.
i'll hold off on the meta quest for now as per the arrangement. maybe i'll do it again in another thread....

also i thank everyone for putting up with my pathetic excuse for a mini-quest.

thank you, and good night.

>>22088801
Oh hey, dude, it's no big deal. I thought it was rather funny that someone was running a little mini-quest inside my own quest. Makes me feel like I'm actually making something worth reading, if people like it enough to go that far. Feel free to run it then next time I wander off for a ridiculous amount of time.

File: 1355783908398.png-(307 KB, 480x360, huerreio.png)

>>22088748
I think I'll give Hobo King a turn for once. I have some work to do.

---15 MINUTES OF STUPID DRUNK DRIVING LATER----

After a brief pitstop that involved a fair amount of Johnson screaming at you for your improbable amounts of stupidity when you found the remnants of what USED to be guardsmen, you arrive on the same hill overlooking the village where you rendezvoused with the soldiers when you escaped the first time.

"Ah HA! I knew all those drunk driving laws were bullshit! I got here just fine."

"I am going to chose not to reply to that statement, lest I completely lose control of my tenuous grip on my ability to not force-feed you your own empty booze bottles." Johnson replies.

"Geeeeeeeez, fine. Mr. Grumpy-Boots." You grumble to yourself as the CO pulls out a pair of binoculars.

"Well, the town looks like it's still functioning, albeit with a LOT more guards in the street. They're all lined up along the main roads. No idea if that means the Lord is dead or not. Apparently they managed to put out the fire, though."

........aaaaaaaaaaaaand you're bored again.

>What do?

[ ] [leave tacti-cool stuff to Johnson, investigate tank shit, organize guns 'n' stuff]

[ ] [ignore Grumpy-Boots completely, drive tank like maniac straight through town]

[ ] [use downtime to ask more questions of monstergirls]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 12

>>22088918
>[ ] [use downtime to ask more questions of monstergirls]
No need to actively sabotage whatever it is Johnson does for fun.

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

>>22088918
>[ ] [leave tacti-cool stuff to Johnson, investigate tank shit, organize guns 'n' stuff]
>[ ] [use downtime to ask more questions of monstergirls]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
Organize and hand out your arsenal whilst chatting up the monstergirls.

>>22088870
Damn it, forgot my name again. Could I get some feedback on my HUEHUEHUE?

Also,

[x] Use downtime to ask more questions to monstergirls. Let's talk to the foxgirls.

Rolled 2

>>22088947
I like this plan

Rolled 9

>>22088943
>>22088947

ask the monstergirls what they thought of our amazing HOBO-TANK-SWAG and Death bringing skills. sit on the tank's cannon facing them, subtly suggesting that it is an example of our VIRILITY!!!

"......wait, it looks like there might be another fire......" Johnson squints into the binoculars.

"Wasn't me this time." Yo immediately jump to excuse yourself.

"....what the fuck? It looks like the whole castle is combusting.....that doesn't....make any......OH DEAR GOD, WHAT." Johnson's voice raises a couple dozen decibels. Not that you can't already tell what he's freaking out about.

The castle, fire pouring out of it's every window and door, rises from the ground with a great roar, the fire taking on the shape of crude limbs, though the shape of the castle remains intact. The front of it is warping, though.....changing, openings forming to form......

Is that an anime face made of FIRE?

"ONII-CHAN, YOU CAME BACK!" A cheerily high-pitched voice of doom echos out of the burning castle monstrosity as it stomps over the village towards you. "I LOVE YOU, ONII-CHAN!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO, CASTLE-CHAN!" Happily staring up at the flaming anime-faced castle looming over you, even as it rains stones down on your position, crushing everything and everyone around you.

"WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER!" You both chime simultaneously, even as the castle-abomination grabs you and stuffs you into it's mouth, where you are quickly incinerated.

>>22088960
Vehicle vore is gooooooood. Though I have to admit, it didn't make me laugh as much as the last one. Though that is entirely because the last one was Heretical Love showing up in mah HoboQuest, and the joy I felt was immeasurable.

Rolled 13

>>22088960

in regards to your HUEHUEHUE;

it was most skillfully designed. the characters were given suitable depth within their brief life span, the interaction between the characters was astute and the imagery suggested through the text was vivid and colorful.

>>22089026
>>22089055
Many thanks, I wasn't sure if it was adequate, as my writing pales in comparison to OP's and Papa-N's. Though I suppose I'm still learning the ways of the HUEHUAEUHEAHUAHU

>>22087886
>>22088268
>>22088370
>>22088501

Humveegirls confirmed?

File: 1355787312517.jpg-(79 KB, 1492x1080, Char Aznable - YEAAAAH - (...).jpg)

Rolled 13

>>22089026
I guess you could say...

He was a Keeper.

>>22089384
Only if it's reasonable. I don't want to just start throwing in girl-ified vehicles everywhere; then it would just get ridiculous.

I'm considering the tank girl because at least one golem DOES make sense. Golems of EVERYTHING, however, would be overwhelming everything else. It's not a good idea, from a story balance. I'm not ruling anything out, I'm just pointing out what it looks like from my perspective.

>>22089693
Plus, I'm pretty sure they'd tell us to take it to /m/ if it got too far out of hand.

Rolled 20

>>22089709
If they did, you'd only have to archive every so often. I had a (intentionally) Horribly written Johnny Spaceboots knock off going for a full month. In the height of summer.

/m/ is full of the chillest bro's around. But the bord itself moves like molasses. I expect it to pick up a lot in 2013, if the Sci-Fi movie previews I saw in The Hobbit are any indication.

Seriously, Pacific Rim looks to be a G-Gundam / Battletech / Godzilla mash up. What's NOT to love?

>>22089778
That may be true, but all the other elements of the quest wouldn't fit in there. Plus, I like /tg/.

Well, best to not worry about it and keep writing the next post.

And yes, Pacific Rim DOES look amazing. Honestly sounds like something that would be fun to make a homebrew system for.

Rolled 12

>>22089778
Pacific Rim looked pretty neat, but I do wonder what GladOS is doing with the military.

File: 1355787958212.jpg-(9 KB, 285x296, Long vision mask.jpg)

>>22087946
>One eye is organic, the other is a combination of the various sights and rangefinders.
Immediately thought of this.

Well, maybe just this once you should show some Hobo Discretion and leave Johnson to his sneaky things. Everyone deserves some alone time, even from your glorious Hobo presence.

That being said, it's not like there's not a bazillion other things for you to do. Starting with that shopping cart full of goodies.

Reaching into the tablecloth sack and pulling out a hodgepodge of foodstuffs (you're not really sure what), you jam it into your mouth as you stare thoughtfully at the pile of booze and weapons. Normally, it would probably taste awful, but thankfully you're drunk enough that you can't really taste solid foods at the moment. Huzzah!

Rummaging around in the pile, you notice an interesting looking bottle amongst the purloined wine and leftover booze from the shopping trip. You don't really recognize it. And this troubles you. A booze you do not know!? UNACCEPTABLE!

You yank the bottle out of the cart and turn it over to look at the label.

......It reads "Spirytus Rektyfikowany".

Huh. Fancy foreign name. Sounds interesting enough.

[roll 1d20 for psychotic booze tolerance]

>>22089878
I completely fucking forgot about that even existing, but yes, that is actually pretty close to what I envisioned.

File: 1355788335558.jpg-(156 KB, 704x902, scopedog_1[1].jpg)

Rolled 5

>>22089828
/m/ is also the Toku board.

As in Kamen Rider / Power Rangers / Super Sentai.

Giant Monster Tank-Girls would fit right in with that. Especially if you were fighting them.

But I know what you mean. /tg/ - you almost don't need the other boards any more!

>>22089848
I live in a town that once had five college campus'. It only has three now. As you can imagine, the Nerd average is pretty high, and can sometimes be measured in IGN (Inches to Geek or Nerd).

Everyone in the theater between 8 and 50 said 'WHAT' at the same time when GladOS started talking.

>>22089878
I had thought of the Scope Dog, which is very similar. Pic Related.

>>22089967
OH SHIII-

Rolled 15

>>22089967
Hmm... booze vore sounds interesting.

Rolled 13

>>22090046
c'mon, where's a 1 when you need it?

Rolled 15

>>22089967

OURS IS THE LIVER THAT WILL HOLD ALL THE BOOZE!!!

Rolled 1

>>22089967
At least have the decency to show Zuli.

Rolled 10

>>22090125
uhuehuhuehuhe...

uhaeuehauhAEUHUEHUSAHEUHSAUEHUHAUEHUAE

>>22090125
As you open the bottle, you are nearly blinded by the strong odors that come out of the bottle. After regaining your composure, you shrug and drink the whole thing in one go.

It burns on the way down,

>>22090159
REALLY burns. Like, you're on the ground in the fetal position burns.

You feel the booze burn through your stomach, but then it goes down.

Down to your crotch.

Although now you are in even more pain, the pleasure you feel is greater, and soon you are shooting out some of the booze with your spooge as you climax. You accidentaly hit Zuli a couple of times as she runs over to you.

As your vision fades and you bleed to death, all you can see is the white-green mixture splash into Zuli.

>>22090200

And this is why you should never touch Polish alcohol without a few-hour long preparation.

Take my word for it, last time my brother tried to drink it I had to clean his room from vomit with a fucking snow shovel.

I WISH I'd be making this up.

>>22090200
"Lincoln? Damn it Lincoln, what did you drink this time?!", you yell. Damn that vagrant, he better not be-

Oh no, he's dead. Shit,

Before you can even tell the others, you notice a burning sensation going down your throat. It really hurts, until it stops at your tits.

Then it starts to burn even more. And feel very intense. As in sexually intense.

Before you know it, you are writhing on the ground in pain and pleasure, some of the green liquid coming out of your now erect nipples and oozing out onto the blue ground mixed with your milk.

Wait... blue ground? Any further wonderings on why the ground is blue end as you come. The green liquid reaches your heart, and kill you quickly, yet painfully.

Lincoln's mini-slime eagerly laps up the fluids that come out of Zuli.

>>22090256
This might be an odd question, but please sate my curiosity...
What did it smell like?

>>22090290

The alcohol or the vomit?

I'll assume you meant the first one:

It smelled like a punch in the nostrils. Like the most powerful cleaner in the world, that simply evaporated any bacteria just with it's haze. If you could try to imagine the smell of pure alcohol - it'd be like this.

Let's just say it like that - after seeing what happened to my brother, I vowed to never drink anything stronger than wine.

That was six years ago and I haven't broken that oath.

Yeah.

>>22090277
"Fritz, go check on Lincoln. Tell him it's time to go. Now."

You salute Johnson and head back with a quick "yessir". Damn, Johnson sure is bitchy today. You jog down to Lincoln's tank.

Hm... Lincoln isn't anywhere. Maybe you should check around the tank...

You go around to the other side of the tank and find-

"M-minerva? What are you doing here?"

Wait, that isn't Minerva, she's blue-green. And not bubbly.

'Oh SHIT! JOHNSON! GET THE FLA-"

Your screams are cut off as the slimegirl envelops your mouth, and then your whole body.

As she dissolves you, you notice she tastes like booze. You quickly lose yourself in the pain, pleasure, and alcohol. At least you found out how it would feel like with Minerva.

Pity you never got the chance to have a go with her...

>>22090342
Actually, I meant the Vomit. I'm slightly curious because the different vomit I've had the displeasure of smelling each smelled distinct, the most distinct smelling of cheese balls.

>>22090412
dude, what.

Rolled 13

Look, voreguy, you're doing good work and all, but you should do it for the 1's that hoboking can't use, not the ones he's going to.

>>22090412

I...uh...don't really remember. Probably smelled like alcohol and pickles - that's the only thing he had in his stomach at that time.

...I know that fact all too well.

>>22090446
Ok, I was just trying to stop any vore delays so OP can work on the actualy story posts. Should I stop, Hobo King?

>>22090342
........wow. ............I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that it only fuels my desire to get a hold of it now.

And since Mr. HUEHUEHUE up there beat me to the punch, I guess I'll just continue on with the quest.

........PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTYEAHRIGHT

As the first drops of the mysterious bottle's contents reach your lips, you feel strange. Not like "oooooh, this is an unfamiliar feeling" strange, more like, "OH GOD MY INSIDES ARE ON FIRE" strange.

You scream, the bottle falling from your hands as you crash to the ground, writhing in agony as you feel your stomach churning and sizzling. Slowly, your abdomen begins to melt open, a hole being fried into it. And out of it leaks something amorphous and......blue?

With growing horror, as the limbs and face begin to materialize out of the ever-leaking slime, you realize who or what it is.

"M-M-M-Minislime.......?"

"Sssssshhhhhh......" the now formerly-tiny slimegirl places a hand over your mouth, and you scream silently into the goo as her very touch burns you. "No need to speak, my love. We have no need for words; our touch alone is enough to convey our feelings."

With a small smile and seductive eyes, she begins to spread across your body, eating away at flesh and sinew as she goes, your struggles and screaming muffled by her fluid nature. "You've been so good to me, my darling. And with your final gift of alcoholic bounty, I have reached my full and true form. I love you so much, my dear." she whispers her sweet words in your ear, even as your body begins to fail and deteriorate from her acidic touch. You spasm as she begins to work on your groin. She coos deliriously as her sizzling caresses stimulate you to a climax equal parts pleasure and pain, swirling your semen amongst her form as if to show it off.

"Your gifts keep coming, my sweet. You're so good to me." She sighs, even as your choking gasps for air begin to peter out. "But I shall not be greedy. I know how much those others mean to you. And so, I shall give them the privilege of joining us." She casts a sideway glance at the horrified girls, frozen with shock, and just a tinge of lust in their eyes.

She smiles blissfully, even as you finally succumb and give in to her all-encompassing embrace.

"Yes, we'll all be together......forever......"

>>22090527
Well, I dunno. If I specifically asked for a roll, yeah, it'd probably be best if you hold off. But if they start piling up outside of asking for rolls? Yeah, go ahead and tackle one. But if there's just one lying around, leave it for me to j-j-jam it in! somewhere you'll least expect it.

>>22090654
>........wow. ............I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that it only fuels my desire to get a hold of it now.

Well my brother was 16 and STUPID (I mean a BIT more than he is today), and he drank a whole shot on an empty stomach.

Let me just say - get someone who could take care of you. I had to sit near my brother for an hour so he wouldn't choke on his own vomit (He passed out quickly and I had to carry him to bed).

>>22090697
You ripped off my HUE! I REPORTIU.

Seriously, though, you did a much better job than I could have. I'll leave the HUEHUEHUE to you from now ob, unless we have an excess of 1s.

>>22090877
If it appears that way, I apologize. In my defense, booze vore is fairly straight forward.

File: 1355792575399.jpg-(128 KB, 1980x1200, BRCHANFORTRESS.jpg)

>>22090911
>implying I didn't completly rip off Papa-N's old BRmarine HUEHUEHEU post in the first place

You boldly take a swig of the mysterious bottle. Immediately you are sent into a spluttering fit of coughing.

Fritz looks over at you in slight alarm. "Fuck, Lincoln, you okay?"

"Eeeeheehehehehehheheee."
Your coughing gives way to slightly unhinged laughter. Fritz takes a cautious step back.

You whip your head up to look at him with that crazy look in your eyes again.

"It's got some fight in it. I think I like this stuff."

---10 MINUTES LATER---

"Wait a second, this is 192 Proof! And you drank THE WHOLE FUCKING BOTTLE!?" Fritz stares at you in shock as he holds the empty bottle in his hands.

"(Hic).....nuzzin' like a good solid benderrr to brightn' me day......(hic)!" You smile contentedly as you weave all over the hillside.

"Zuli. Zuuuuuuliiiii. You gotta try dish shtuff. It's great, I swear. I think there's a 'nuther bottle ina cart." You grin at the red oni, who is staring at you with a look that says she's debating between yelling at you and joining you.

"As much as I feel the need to discourage your attempts to make a COMPLETE ASS of yourself......it does look interesting....." She quietly admits as she watching your drunken prancing.

"It's the BEST kind of 'ntrestin'! The kind that makes EVERSHIN' 'NTRESTIN'!" You cheer, falling over and beginning to roll across the hillside. You have no idea why. It's fun.

"Well......maybe just a sip....." Zuli walks over to the shopping cart, and you spring up (after three tries) to meet her there. Digging through the hodgepodge of crap, you haul out another bottle of the drain-cleaner quality booze and hand it to the blissfully unaware red oni. She has no idea what she's getting herself into, having barely tasted the sweet nectar of hard liquor. If this made YOU this drunk.....

"You just go ahead an' enjoy dat, Zuli. Imma figure out des' guns right hurr." You begin hauling the weaponry you managed to snag (and the boxes of random ammo that were buried under them) and laying it all out on the grass in a straight line. Well, more like a squiggly line, but it's still a line, and that's kinda straight, right?

Oh, well. Whatever. While Johnson is playing binoculars voyeur, you're gonna be all awesome and tacti-cool on your own.

>Decide who gets what weapons
>Strapping them all to yourself is a valid choice

[Roll 6d20 for awesome hobo gun-teaching skills]

Rolled 20, 3, 2, 3, 10, 20 = 58

>>22091992
Zuli is Heavy, thats all I want. I leave the rest to the secret /k/ommandos we have lurking about.

We should also invite Moira to get superdrunk off our especially alcoholic blood right now.

>>22092024
I'm quite pleased that we have them lurking in here. It means I can learn, even while I'm writefagging!

Papa is going to be so annoyed he missed the gun choice parts for the second time.

Rolled 14, 11, 10, 10, 7, 3 = 55

>>22091992
Crossbow foxgirl gets a moist nugget (mosin nagant), Zuli gets a LMG of some kind, Moira gets an AR15 or something with low recoil, all the other girls get M4s and AK-74s. Everyone gets Berreta 92FS for a sidearm except Zuli, who gets a.50 DEAGLE BRAND DEAGLE with baby seeking assault clips. Sounds good?

We get a G13 and our RPG in addition to our shotgun.

>>22092147
>We get a G13 and our RPG in addition to our shotgun.
Better yet, we should just duct tape them all into one gun.

Rolled 20, 5, 4, 7, 3, 16 = 55

>>22092147
Re-rolling. Nat 20s so far for Zuli and Moira. Sounds good?

>>22092180
Next nat 20 for foxgirl crossbowoman, she'd be a great sniper.

>>22092147
AHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA NOPE.

You have to deal with the hodgepodge of random-ass weapons Lincoln had stuffed in his cart that I listed above. Anything not listed, you'll get a chance to roll for if you ask the Spec Ops if they have it in their loadout they brought.

>>22092220
Oh god damn it, I'm not going back and checking for exactly what we had. Still, heaviest gun we have for Zuli, some sort of light assault rifle for Moira, a semi-auto rifle/sniper for the crossbow foxgirl, and assault rifles for everyone else. Strongest pistol we have for Zuli, 9mm for everyone else, including ourselves. Nanogun for ourselves too.

>>22092220
Also,
>implying we wouldn't have found a nugget in the crates.

Seriously, those things cost like $75, some /k/ommando would have donated one.

I will do you a favor and list what I officially had in the cart. For purposes that mostly have to do with me making your decisions more difficult for my own amusement, you may only choose from this list. Anything else, Lincoln is too drunk to notice.

>M14 EBR
>Kriss Super V XSMG
>CheyTac Intervention M-200
>RPG-7
>M1 Thompson
>AUG-A3 CQC
>AF2011-A1
>Neostead
>MTs-255
>SRM Arms Model 1216
>Obrez
>LeMat Revolver
>Enfield EM-2
>Korobov TKB-022
>Choose whatever accessories you want because I don't give a shit

Rolled 10

>>22092441
Illiana gets the Neostead.

>>22092441
Moira gets the M1 Thompson, crossbow girl gets the M14 EBR, Zuli gets the Obrez as a sidearm, One of the foxgirls gets the Enfield and a LeMat.

Rolled 18

>>22092441

faye should get the Kriss Super V XSMG.

>beep boop ur a faget
It all began with this.