Well, first things first. It would probably be ill-advised to do ANYTHING before talking to Moira. You did just have delicious hobo lovemaking time with her last night, and she was gone in the morning. You may be constantly drunk, but you're not STUPID.

.......ok, not TOO stupid.

Pulling a handy-dandy mini-bottle out of your unfathomable amount of pockets, you chug it down as you make your way over to the batgirl. And another. And another. You actually manage to get about six of them down by the time you get anywhere near her. Hey, fucking is hard work; Who knows how much alcohol you managed to accidentally process?

Moira is perched on top of the barrel of the Abrams, staring at the portal. There's a strange sort of look on her face, and her eyes are slightly unfocused, like she's lost in thought.

"Morning, Moira. Get a good night's sleep? Or better yet, didn't?" You snicker as you call up to her.

Moira whips her head to stare at you, eyes wide. She looks at you like a deer in the headlights for a few moments, before she lets out a little whimper. She whips her wings up to cover her face, but not before you catch a glimpse of rapidly-forming tears.

"Oh.....Oh god....." She quietly sobs into her wings, and your alarm grows with every passing second. "Lincoln.....I-I-I can't believe I.......Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

.......ooooohhhh shit. Shit shit SHIT.

SOUND THE ALARMS! THE BATGIRL IS CRYING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

>What do?

[ ] [leave her in peace]

[ ] [ask her what's wrong]

[ ] [seek help from one of the others]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22213347

TAKE HER INSIDE!!! of the tank, there we will have emotional talks filled with care and sensitivity...
bwahahaha.... like that would happen,
take her in the tank and ask her whats wrong. maybe she found our performance was lacking!!! we might have to have a quick second round to fix it...
not that i am encouraging putting the moves on a distressed damsel...

I forgot the title, but this is totally:

HoboQuest Part XV

>>22213347
Take a seat next to her and offer a drink.

"Ye did nothing wrong, lass-e."

>>22213347
>imbibe liquor
>take her inside
>talk it out
>bat girl dickings round II

And since it'll probably take a while before the majority of people get their responses in (because it's three in the morning), I shall take a nap.

When I wake up, I expect to see some of the best (read: stupidest) ways to comfort a crying girl EVER. I have faith in you, /tg/.

Fuck you subject line, stop sticking.

Rolled 43

>first thing in the morning
>HoboQuest thread
BEST CHRISTMAS

That said, give alcohol and offer MORE DICKINGS

Rolled 3

>>22213621
whoops didn't mean to roll that there
this should be better

File: 1356430957358.jpg-(39 KB, 563x442, gangnam.jpg)

>>22213347
Start dancing Gangnam Style.
Hey, it worked when we did Rick Astley.

hmmm, maybe doing >>22214183 up to her, then >>22213534 and>>22213404

it's so crazy, it just might work...

>>22214208
This is amazing, it needs to be done.

Why not just give her a hug, it indicates continued interest as well as being quite comforting.

It also give a chance to grope werebat ass, which I suggest we do the second the tears stop.

>>22215939

that can also be incorperated into the plan...

>>22215939
I second the hug.

HoboQuest.

Where instead of disagreeing over what to do, we select D.) All of the Above, and then throw in several other elements for shits and giggles.

What's a crazy hobo without needlessly complicated plans, amiright?

>>22217630
that would be any crazy hobo not governed by the whims of the /tg/ collective.

You should start crying as well.

Then, in the middle of your tears you should ask
W..wh..why (sob) ar....are we c..c.cc.c..crying.?

>>22218936
That's counter productive. She might take it the wrong way.

Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck

You don't know how to deal with this! It's not like most women stick around afterwards when it's with you! Shiiiiiiiiit, what to do, it's a crying batgirl, there's got to be some trick, some strategy, some.....

.........no.

No. What the fuck are you thinking. There is no strategy. No sure-fire solution or blueprint to succeed. And if there was, you wouldn't follow it anyway.

You follow one thing and one thing only.

HOBO LOGIC!

"OPPA GUNGAM STYLE!" You bellow, and begin to prance a dance that would make Psy himself proud. Moira freezes, peaking out over the top of her wing in confusion.

"L-L-Lincoln......?" The sight if her tear-stained eyes only spurs you to dance with greater fury.

"GUNGAM STYLE!" With another of your gravity-defying Hobo Leaps, you jump up on top of the treads, continuing to dance without missing a beat.

"W-W-What are y-you....?"

"EEEEEEEYYYY, SEXY LAY-DAY!" You hoot as you shimmy your way down the tank, finishing with a flourish as you point dramatically at her. She stares blankly at you over the top of her wings, tears halted mid-drop. With a short hop, you flop down into a sitting position next to her.

"So why are we crying now? You best not be telling me somebody did something to you. I'll kill 'em. I swear."

"Moira stares at you for a moment before her eyes begin watering anew.

"W.....Why...? W-Why are you being so n-n-nice to me....? After I......Oh Glorian...." She buries her face in wings again, sobbing.

"Erm......Moira? I'm afraid I'm not really following, lassie. What did you do? Besides give me some of the hottest sex ever."

She whips her head up, staring at you in shock. "W-W-WHAT!? H-H-How!? I-I-I.....I basically raped you!"

...............

"Wat."

"I-I-I'm so sorry! I was drunk and...and.....y-y-you've just been so nice to me......and then I repay you by tying you up and.....a-a-and forcing myself on you! I can't believe I......oh Glorian, please don't hate me!"

.......holy all-devouring Cthulu, what the hell kind of horrible mentality do they HAVE about sex on the other side of that rifty thing? Fuck that with a steel spiked dildo.

"Moira. Look at me." You state flatly. The seriousness in your tone causes her to look up again.

"You. Did. Not. Rape. Me. That is about as far from the truth as you could possibly get! If you don't remember correctly, I WANTED to do the horizontal mambo with you."


"T-T-The hori-wha---?"

"Never mind, not important, crazy hobo talk. What's important now is YOU. Where in the flying fuck----oooo, we should try that at some point----GAAAAH, FOCUS! Where the hell did you get the idea that you raped me?"

"B-B-But I tied you down, and.....a-a-and I acted so shamelessly.....i-it would have been an affront to your honor if you had refused----"

"Waaaaaait. Waitwaitwait. What's this honor crap? I have no such thing. Are you telling me it's bad for a woman to jump a dude's bones if she's in the mood for a good dicking?"

"O-O-Of course! A-At least th-that's what they say.....Y-You were the first man I'd been with, so...."

"THAT IS SO MUCH BORING HORSESHIT!" You roar, throwing your arms up in the air like you just don't care. Which you don't. Not about their "honor" crap, at least. Females can't take the initiative? What the fuck kind of boring ass rule is that!?

"....Please don't tell me that's a common belief in Riftia."

"W-w-well, I wouldn't know.....In human lands it is, at least......"

"OH THANK SWEET MERCIFUL BOOZE GODS, THERE'S STILL HOPE."

"S-S-So, y-you d-don't hate me.......?"

"Moira, you are a deliciously sexy batgirl and I love you to pieces. Always do that again. Always." You casually reach down and pinch her ass, causing her to squeak and flail her wings outward in surprise. You take the opportunity to embrace her in a hug, which she returns after some flustered stammering.

"Don't be afraid to act how you want, Moira. Fuck knows I never think twice about what I'm doing. Even when I technically should." She giggles slightly at the comment, wiping away her tears. Progress!

"I-I'll try....." You grin at her as you pull away, turning to climb off of the tank.....

Only to yelp as you're caught off-guard by a strong pinch to your own rear end. You whirl around to stare accusingly at the batgirl, but she's looking off to the side, thought she's barely able to suppress the nervous grin that's threatening to plaster her face.

"......Clever girl." You snicker, before you hop off the tank and leave her to ascertain the situation with the others. You are most DEFINITELY looking into that flying fuck idea though.

You pop open a bottle of vodka from your coat, taking a deep swig to wash away the serious conversation you just had. Now, who to bother next?

>What do?

[ ] [talk to Zuli]

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to Faye]

[ ] [talk to Fritz]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22220787
>[ ] [talk to Faye]
I don't remember who faye is, but i remember that we need to talk to her.

Phew, finally. Most of the Christmas running around is done. My family certainly keeps me busy.

Throw your picks up there so I can write the next part. I'm feeling fast today.

>>22220787
[X] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]
[X] [talk to Faye]

We need to see if they're alright after their first foray into the world of hard liquor.

>>22220787

[X] [talk to Zuli]

So, what did she get up to while horrifically drunk? Should be good stories!

>>22220787

>[x] talk to Fritz

We need to share our experience!

Rolled 13

>>22220914
>>22221132
>>22221231
These in no specific order

>>22221353
Hell lets just do a group huddle.

>>22221428

>[x] other
>Start running around the base trying to round up EVERYONE we want to talk to
>group huddle

Faye and Group Huddle are currently tied at 2 each.

>>22220914
Here
I'll switch to group huddle for the sake of advancing.

Rolled 10

>>22221635

I CAST GROUP HUDDLE

>>22221681
>>22221683
Welp, that does it.

The downside to the fact that I am usually sporadic is that when I DO manage to get a block of time to do nothing but type, the responses don't usually come quick enough to take advantage of it.

On the plus side, more people usually get their say if I wait longer between posts.

A strange line I walk as writefag. Thanfully, booze makes sure I don't have to worry about such things.

We really should try to get some firearms training for everyone while we're here. It would be unpleasant to get shot in the ass.

Rolled 15

>>22221863
That was ALL we did during the time between the SF guys heading off for recon and blowing up that truck.

Rolled 6

>>22221961
>blowing up that truck

i think that just about showed that they need REAL training

>>22222294
That was us with an RPG.

>>22222335
It was a pretty good shot, though.

>>22221708

Back to sporadic, booze sleeping posting already? Or is the next post just that epic?

>>22222664
My family is quite demanding of my help when I'm home, so I'm constantly getting recruited to do a whole slew of things.

In addition, since you greedy bastards decided to go for all the conversation options all at once, I have to do a fair bit more thinking than normal.

But believe me when I say that there's nobody who wishes the posts would be more frequent than me. I just have the unfortunate handicap of a very nosy and needy family, at the moment.

bump

You take another swig from your bottle, thinking for a few moments.

It only takes a short time before the answer comes to you out of the blue. The magic of intoxication has solved all your problems once again!

"GROOOOUUUUUP HUDDLEEEEEEE!" You holler from the center of the plaza, causing everyone nearby to jump (Except the General, who just twitches). "GAAA-ROOOOOOOOUUUUP HUDDLE!"

".....Mr. Lincoln, some of us have actual work to do---" You cut the General off.

"NOPE don't care. Err'body get in on this. You beckon to the girls and the Spec Ops. The girls curiously walk over (except Moira, who flutters), while the Spec Ops just shrug and saunter towards you. Johnson glowers the whole time, but fuck him he's always grumpy.

Alright, now you have.....everyone gathered in a tight group, on the plaza. Almost exactly like they were before, except closer! This wasn't pointless at all! You take a celebratory swig from your bottle. Make that two. Or seven.

Now, who do you squeeze info about what you missed and what you're doing now? First, you mean. Everyone gets some Hobo Time. No, it's not optional.

>What do?

[ ] [talk to Zuli]

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to Faye]

[ ] [talk to Fritz]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Yeah, just gonna do these next conversation posts in quick little bursts, try to cut down on what could potentially be another long exposition period.

Also, I received a Kindle Fire for Christmas. Which is nice, if I could figure out what niche in my life it is supposed to fill.

So get on with picking this entirely new choice, which is not at all a repeat of the previous choice because I'm a jackass. Truly.

Rolled 8

>>22224047
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [offer liquor]
>[X] [attempt to talk to everyone]
>[X] [yes, at the same time]

>>22224047
[X] [talk to Faye]
[X] [talk to Illiana]
[X] [talk to General Williams]
[X] [talk to Fritz]

In that order. Also you can view manga on the kindle fire, but I'm not sure as to how it will look compared to other devices.

Did Faye first since she received the most votes before and received another vote now.

"Alrighty then, now that I have your attention. I have become aware that yesterday afternoon/evening/whatever, I became extremely drunk. I then proceeded to past out, and now I am here, barring a little intermission of excellent nature." You throw a wink at Moira, who blushes crimson, but also hides a weak smile.

"Wait, what intermission?" Zuli asks, immediately suspicious.

"I ask questions first, then I answer yours. Which means we start with....." You close your eyes and spin around in circles, humming the tune to "Ring Around the Rosie", until you screech to a halt and fling your eyes open, pointing straight ahead, landing on......

"YOU!"

Faye squeaks at the unexpected attention, hiding behind her tail as usual.

"Small foxgirl! Reveal to me your secrets!"

"Erm....Lincoln......she was hiding in the bushes during the whole thing, I hardly think---" Illiana is interrupted mid-skepticism by a small voice.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry! I-I-I didn't mean to watch!" The one-tailed inari mumbles frantically, barely audible from behind her tail.

"---that she---wha? Faye, what did you watch?" Illiana turns to her small sister in slight alarm. The girl only whimpers slightly and wraps her tail tighter around herself.

"Yeeessss, little foxgirl. What DID you watch?" You snicker, half amused and half judging in your gaze. You have a decent idea, but how she reacts determines how you handle it.

"Faye, talk to me! If you saw something bad, you---"

"I.....I saw them."

"Saw who?" Illiana screws up her face in confusion.

"Him....." She points at you, making your grin grow a bit wider. ".....and her." She motions to Moira, who barely manages to get out a squeak of embarrassment.

"Lincoln and Moira....? Well, they were drinking some of the----"

"N....not then. At night. When they were....." Faye trails off at the end, but the implication is way too strong to ignore.

Illiana turns slowly to look at you, blush evident on her face. So does the rest of the group, though it's pretty obvious from their facial expressions that they all heard you pretty loud and clear. The other two foxgirls just look confused, while Zuli......Zuli is staring at you with an expression that says her brain can't decide to react with shock or her usual rage. You, on the other hand, now bear a grin is nearly wider than your face at this point.

"And did you enjoy the show, Faye Hmmmmmm?" you giggle madly, absolutely refusing to take the situation with any degree of seriousness.

"L-L-LINCOLN! D-Don't ask my sister such---"

"W-Well.....I sort of.....touched myse---"

"F-F-FAYE!?!?!?" Illiana shrieks, staring at her sister as if the foxgirl leader was about to faint. Moira just stares at the ground, and you can practically see the steam coming out of her ears. You just laugh. And laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh.

"NO ONE IS SAFE FROM MY ALL-CORRUPTING HOBO INFLUENCE!" You cheer, General facepalming as he obviously doesn't want to spend his morning discussing batgirl sex and foxgirl schlicking. Too bad for him, you run the game here.

"Oh no?" You hear a deadly vicious voice cut through your jubilation like a knife.

A moment later, you find yourself inches from Zuli's face, which is blazing with cold, seething fury.

"Try me." She hisses, looking well and truly ready to rip your head off.

.....oooooooh shit.

[Roll 1d20 for speechcraft]

Rolled 13

>>22224420
>General facepalming
Soon Herr General. Soon.

Rolled 20

>>22224420
Why is Zuli mad? she knew this would happen at some point after we began our poly-relationship thing. Or did she want first go? If she's mad about faye watching it wasn't our fault.

>>22224513
Looks like we're still able to bullshit in the face of danger.

Rolled 15

>>22224513
NO ONE.
IS SAFE.
FROM THE HOBO INFLUENCE.

Rolled 7

>>22224513
We could let slip that we woke up to being tied down before anything happened.

>>22224556
NOT ZULI.
NOT THE TANK.
NOT EVEN REALITY.

>>22224560
Bitch please, we will not deny our sexy batgirl

>>22224703
Not saying deny it, but it might keep Zuli from giving us a complete ass-kicking if she knew that Moira started it.

>>22224760
No, we are not pinning this on the bat lady. We will accept the blame for this. Because we are a gentleman. Also we rolled a 20.

>>22224772
And our body can take an beating far better than Moira's.

>>22224785
What beating? We got a nat 20.

The only beating we'd get is if we decide we're into that stuff.

>>22224854
We can't be, our nerves are too deadened. Also, I can't believe I missed the last thread.

>>22224854
>implying we aren't actually into that stuff

>>22224890
We're into everything and nothing at the same time. Whatever /tg/ decides is the truth.

>>22224854
Or maybe a beating off. Into the mouth of an eager-but-shy foxgirl.

>>22224978
no

>>22224513
speaking as the guy who rolled the 20. I realise that the only person Zuli should be angry at if she wanted first go is herself for not being assertive.

>>22224978
Too lewd.

>>22225064
It's not her fault! Society made her that way!
Give her a hug, promise her a turn, then give her a honk and maybe invite Moira for round two at the same time.

>Go to see the rest of my relatives out the door
>Nat 20 while I'm gone

.....Either someone bribed the mods, or this Hobo Influence is the real deal, and we should all follow its code.

>>22224870
Figured you and Char would be the most annoyed to have missed the last thread, since you two are some of the tripfags that have followed this quest the longest.

>>22224976
Schrodinger's Fetish.

>>22225569
Its entirely my fault for trying to get on a sane sleep schedule. And not checking twitter.

>>22225593
To be fair, you wouldn't have missed much if it weren't for the fact that nat 20s started popping up like weeds.

>>22225664
Yeah, what the hell was that all about? That was some scary shit, 3 nat 20s in a row?

>>22225723
The board itself was rising against me. But the HUE shall triumph in the end.

I hope Papa comes back soon. We need his all-corrupting influence.

>>22225740
You must rise and take his place. This board needs a hero like Lincoln. Because he's the hero we deserve. And the one we need.

>>22225740
all you need to do to combat the 20's is make the 1's even HUEier or diversify the HUE.

>>22225915
Diversifying his vore portfolio so to speak.

>>22225740
I'm still waiting on the continuation of Heretical Love 2, and I'll gladly keep waiting as long as I can for it.

>>22226272
Agreed. Though it was originally stumbling into a Generation A thread that led me to start HoboQuest, based on Papa's advice. I'm sure those who have already read the archives know, but he's the one who gave Lincoln his name.

You chuckle nervously as you look back into Zuli's face, which at the moment, is something akin to the wrath of god.

"Why, Zuli, my dear sweet red oni, whatever do yo---GUHUUURRK!" You choke on your words as Zuli seizes your throat, squeezing with only a hint of her terrifying strength.

"Save it, Lincoln." She spits out the words like venom. "And take your one chance at living. Why'd you do it? Why!? ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!"

You struggle to figure out what she means. And to breathe. But nothing makes sense. What's she talking about? Why's she angry? Shit, Zuli gets angry over everything! It could be a dozen different reaso---

Realization strikes you, despite the waning oxygen supply. Oh dear. Oh, poor, sweet Zuli.

"You.....ggghhk......think I.....hrrkk......raped her....nngghh....don't you?" You strangle out the words with difficulty, but your gaze is like flint on steel, boring back into her rage like a blade.

"What, you're saying you DIDN'T!? How the hell else would you two end up---!!" But she doesn't get to finish as Moira cries out.

"Zuli, stop! I-I-It was the exact opposite! I-I-I mean, I thought it was but, then-----and he said---and I----Ooohhhh, I LIKED IT, DAMMIT!" She finally screams, her frustration finally overcoming her embarrassment.

Zuli gapes in shock as Moira continues. "S-S-So this is all one big misunderstanding! S-So we can----"

"No, Moira." You croak out. "It's not a misunderstanding." Zuli's eyes whip back to you, shock still evident. But you can see the fear starting to leak through, and it only confirms your suspicions.

"It being rape.....it was the only explanation you could find.....wasn't it, Zuli?" You stare directly into her eyes, refusing to break contact or even blink. "The only way.....you could react with anger.....instead of fear...."

"Stop." Zuli whimpers, her voice a meek shadow of the roar she was previously projecting. She drops you, and backs away. But you can't stop. Not while she still thinks like this.

"Because the alternative was scarier, wasn't it?" Your voice begins to grow stronger as your breath returns to you.

"Stop."

"You were afraid of Moira."

"Stop."

"Of me."

"Stop!"

"But most of all...."

"STOP!"

"You were afraid of yourself. You were afraid....."

"DON'T SAY IT!"

".....of losing me."

Zuli's strong front completely collapses, and she sinks to her knees, tears welling in her eyes. "No......." She softly sobs. "No, it can't.....I can't......I only wanted......and you......" She trails off as she begins crying full-force.

You cautiously approach her, kneeling down to softly place an arm around her shoulder to grip her comfortingly.

"You were terrified, weren't you? Oh, Zuli, I'm so sorry. I'm.....I'm not always the most perceptive. Why were you so scared?"

"Wouldn't you be!?" She shoots at you, trying to regain some of her tattered spirit through the tears. "Look at me! I'm not cute like Moira, or together and in charge like Illiana! Hell, I'm not even friendly like Minerva! I've got nothing! Why wouldn't you just abandon me!? All I do is HURT you!!!" She buries her face in her hands as her sobs resurge.

"I knew it would end up like this! Nobody would ever pick me! I'm just a violent, damaged demon girl who doesn't know how to do anything but drink!"

........you don't really know much. "Crazy Hobo" is both your profession, your personality, and your lifestyle. But you do know one thing. Whatever person, people, society, or whatever warped her self-confidence into THIS? You will destroy it utterly.

"Zuli." You says softly, trying your hardest to put your concern into words. She doesn't answer, so you are forced to carefully lift her face from her hands to face you. Her face is streaked with tears, her nose running, her eyes slightly bloodshot, and her hair is a mess.

And yet, in your eyes, because she was willing to show you how vulnerable she really is, you've never seen her more beautiful.

Zuli's eyes widen in shock, more tears beginning to fall as you softly press your lips to her own. She finally accepts it, grabbing fistfuls of your clothing as she kisses back with nothing less than absolute need.

You pull away after a solid minute, leaving her staring at you with jaw slightly agape.

"Why.....?"

You smile. "Because I love you, Zuli. Love isn't some finite resource, to be fought over and partitioned out. There is an infinite amount, and it should be given freely to those you care for. Love begets love, after all." Fuck, this sounds cheesy, but it doesn't make it any less true. And if there's anyone who needs to hear it, it's Zuli.

"So you......you won't.....leave me....?" She haltingly whispers, a glimmer of hope beginning to defeat the despair that originally clouded her face.

"Never in a million lifetimes, my dear." You chuckle. "Hell, you couldn't get rid of me if you wanted to."

Zuli sniffles, a few more tears falling from her eyes before she flings herself at you, seizing you in a crushing hug.

"GODDAMNIT, I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" She screams, burying her head in the crook of your shoulder. A smile forms on your face......

......only for it to evolve into an evil grin.

"I love you too, Zuli. And I'm glad to hear it's mutual. Because that means you'll forgive me for this."

"Wha---?"

You bring your hands up to cup her beautiful oni goodies, squeezing them with a contented sigh. Honestly, how could she leave out one of her greatest assets? Ahhhhh, bliss.

Oh look, she's back to normal! There's the face of absolute snarling fury you're used to. Goddamn, this woman is deliciously fiesty.

"You. Goddamned. PERVERTED. SON OF A BIIIIIIIIITCH!" Her voice reaches eardrum damaging decibel levels as she punches you into the atmosphere again.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo............" You scream, though it slowly fades out as you gain ever more altitude.

"AAAAAAUUUUUUGH! HOW CAN I LOVE HIM AND YET HATE HIM AT THE SAME TIME!?!?" Zuli tears at her hair in frustration.

"Miiiiiiiiriiiiiicllesssssss........." The statement drifts down from the upper reaches of the sky.

Well, at least you have time to ponder who you're going to talk to next up here. If you survive the landing. Better start chugging bottles to be sure.

>Who now?

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to Fritz]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

You lucky fucks. How do you always manage to roll to understand the situation when it counts?

>>22226841
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [talk to Fritz]
We must inform him that he needs to step his game up forthwith, for we are in the lead.

Also, CODE RED CODE RED Bromont spotted

>>22226876
Eh? Where?

>>22226841
as always, begin with [x] [imbibe liquor].

>>22226881
Christmas Roy thread on /a/.

We're taking our lizard girl Mom out for a date.

>>22226902
Oooooooh. Rare treat.

Rolled 6

>>22226876
seconding this, fritz must be made aware of the score

>>22226945
Thirding.

Apologies, computer issue and had to restart. Fritz hilarity coming soon.

Dear god, how could you have overlooked the obvious!? Damn drama, getting all up in your grill. There's one thing you must absolutely do, above all things!

......Brag to Fritz about getting hot batgirl sexytimes, of course!

You thread your fingers around six bottles, ripping them from your pockets and smashing their lids against each other. Having knocked off the tops, you pour all six of the bottles down your open gullet at once.

"(Hic!) Reeeeaaady for laaaaanding!" You giggle as you plummet earthwards. Oh hey, look, there's the General! He's going to catch you! That's so nice of him.

........wait, why is he stepping to the si---

THWACK

CLANG

CRUNCH

You smash into the ground with such an alcohol-soaked demeanor that you actually BOUNCE off the ground, ricocheting off of the Humvee's hood before crashing into the bushes next to Fritz.

".....you okay, man?" Fritz hesitantly asks the portion of your body not buried in the foliage.

"......not dead....." You groan, having not been injured in a while.

"Well, that's good at least. So.........." He pauses.

You say nothing. You just lift your arm out of the bushes and hold up your hand, palm. Fritz dutifully high-fives you.

"You lucky fucker. I think you woke up every soldier in this place."

You haul yourself out of the bushes, smirking. "Damn right I did. My Hobo Lovemaking dazzles the ladies. And by "dazzles", I mean "chains orgasms like it's a fucking fighting combo."

"Modest, aren't we? Though with her screams, I suppose you have the right to brag." Fritz grins, scratching his head.

"Hey, you can brag too, once you finally get on laying Minerva."

"Wha---HEY!" Fritz goes red in the face, which is hilarious. "I'll tell you the same thing I tell them all: it's NOT like that!"

You roll your eyes hard enough that you almost detach your retinas. "Suuuuuuure, lover boy. The moment you actually meet the slimegirl of your newly discovered taste in women, and you go all gooey about her. Just give her the cock, and she'll DEFINITELY stay with you forever."

"It isn't that simple---"


"It isn't? News to me. That's seemed to work for me so far."

".....you may be a cool dude, but I hate you sometimes."

"This is a normal symptom of long-term exposure to Hobo Swag. The effects will disappear on their own." You chortle as you strut away from him. You got other peeps to bother, and Fritz needs time to contemplate the pros and cons of screwing Minerva until she literally melts into a satisfied puddle of goo.

>Who next?

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22227903
[X] [talk to General Williams]

As we walk towards him maintain eye contact while drinking the hootch.

>>22227903
>[ ] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]
They need more lines.

>>22227903

[x] talk to Brucy Bruce and his funky bunch

File: 1356516065798.jpg-(95 KB, 900x851, art-bri-lg6.jpg)

[X] Talk to the Bruces

Hey, don't mind my being 'absent'. I've actually been around the entire time - never saw a reason to post as the other Anon's have kindly been choosing the best options anyway.

That and I started my own quest, which has been keeping me occupied.

>>22228151
Your quest is made of DINGOS.
Which one is it?

Sleepytime now, as responses have slowed. More in the morning.

>>22228331

A most excellent quest. Similar to the second coming of Zeon quest, but we play as Zeons Creed, Bright Noa...
Also, ZuDAH SMUGGLING!

>>22228633
not the guy who originally asked but that in no way helps me find it

>>22228674

It goes by the name of Bright Quest.

>>22228714
danke

>>22227903

[x] general see if they can teach the foxy ladies the tradition of being a US special force.

after we establish something at their village of course.

also thank you for listening about Faye nudge nudge wink wink

Rolled 17

>>22228853
seconding this as the idea of sending faye through hell week is hilarious

>>22228853
Thats a terrible idea. I love it. Lets do it.

>>22228853

why not get all the girls training?

anyway, we need to check on mini-slime and her new friend.

>>22230126
Wait, we have two minislimes.
DUAL MINISLIME FISTS OF POWEEEERRRRR

>>22230129
And I completely forgot my trip

Rolled 12

>>22230129

yeah, in the last thread, we got the fox-girls really drunk, then they threw up on us, then lit us on fire, and the flaming alcohol expulsion turned into another mini-slime. our mini-slime then confronted this new one, then they made out. all the while, we were shushing the General as the mini-slime stand-off/make out was much more important than anything he could have to say...

also, rolling to use contaminated river water to make tankgirl... you never know, today might be the day...

Rolled 17

>>22230141
yep a minislime born of 192 proof alcohol and fire

Rolled 18

>>22230161
I did read through the last thread. Because delicious batgirl sexy times.

Huzzah, fully refreshed and back to the land of the waking!

>Foxgirl special forces
You guys really love that idea, don't you?

>>22231546

it feels so right though, just like Oni Heavy weapon squads, where each girl gets a mini-gun, or recoil-less rifle, or mortar...

>>22231630
Just to point out, you know it takes like, 80 weeks of training to become a Green Beret, right? I imagine other special forces are similar.

>>22231849
We can still turn them into coats, right?

>>22231849

the training thing was a 'can we do this at some point' question to the general not 'DO THIS 35 MINUTES AGO', but i am tempted to suggest that they go for SAS training, because the irony caused when one takes 'The Hunt' into account...

>>22231849

now taking bets on Epic post/RL Stuff/Booze Sleep

>>22232653
Imma go ahead with all three. Because thats how HK rolls.

>>22232771

is that not also how WE roll?

>>22232827
Well, yes. But thats not the point.

>>22232865
I'll place a bet. [So Funky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSZIej-ZraE

>>22232865
true. the point is that HK has disappeared again...


>>22232921
when are you running the next episode of Bright Quest, Char? for my own plans, as opposed to a demand to run it now for my personal viewing pleasure...

You know you've been neglecting? The Not-Bruces. And the Not-Bruce who actually is named Bruce, thus just becoming a Bruce. Hmmmm. Would Bruce and the Not-Bruces be a good band name? Maybe you can sell the idea to someone for more booze money.

.....Wait, what were you thinking about again? Oh right, trolling the shit out of the Spec Ops people who you are less interested in.

You stride over to Bruce and Not-Bruce, Model: Lopez. And Model: Dave, you suppose, but nobody gives a fuck about Dave.

"Sup, Spec Brops? Brospecs? Special Broldiers?" You chortle, flashing horrible approximations of gang-signs that have no resemblance to real ones, and just look like you have finger deformities.

"Erm......." They look at you as if they have no idea what to do. Well, that's understandable; you've never really paid any attention to them. At all. They're kind of forgettable, really.

Oh well. You'll just have to instruct them in the proper way to deal with you. Namely, bowing before your mighty Hobo Whims.

"Soooooo, I was wondering if you guys could answer some questions?" You cheerily pose the question.

"Uhhh, I guess? What do you want to know?" Model: Lopez cautiously states, his hand slightly hovering closer to his rifle.

"Weeellll, it's about you guys being spec ops and all that junk. You see, I want to make more." You hold a finger-up in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Make...more? Dude, what the hell does that mean?"

"It means I want to make Spec Ops....." You point to them to illustrate your point. "......out of THOSE." You move your finger to point at the foxgirls. Two of which are wincing in apparent hangover, one who has wrapped herself inside her tail, and one who is chattering frantically at her sister in an attempt to get some kind of answers. This may be your fault, but fuck if you're going to admit it's a bad thing. Anything so hilarious can't be bad.

"Uh....why?" Bruce pipes up, in what may be an obvious question for anyone who isn't you. The poor, uniformed soul.

"Why? WHY!? IT'S FOXGIRL SPEC OPS! WHAT OTHER REASON DO YOU NEED!?" You shout. Fools, all of them!

"Well, I guess it might be possible.....I mean, they would need a LOT more training, but----" Dave gets cut off mid-sentence. By you, of course.

"So it's possible? AWESOME! FREE ZEPPELIN RIDES FOR EVERYONE! I'm counting on you to make it happen, then."

"But---"

"Right, off to annoy everyone else. Toodles!" You spin around and moonwalk away.

The spec ops soldiers stare after you.

".......What the hell is WRONG with that man?"

"Well, it could be a result of---"

"Shut up, Dave, nobody asked you."

>NEXT

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

i'm bored, got a few hours to kill before HK returns to us, feel like doing some sketches.

Anyone got any requests?

maybe it will summon HK back to us...

>>22233359
I USED MY PRECOGNITIVE ABILITIES TO PREDICT YOUR OFFER OF DRAWFAGGOTRY

DRAW ME A SPEC OPS FOXGIRL IN A GAS MASK

>>22233355

>[talk to Cassandra/Aiya]


>>22233371
working on it now...

>>22233355
[X] [talk to Illiana]

"How's that hangover treatin' ya? Want to know the cure?"
And then we hand her a Jack Daniels.

File: 1356556792991.jpg-(39 KB, 602x702, Foxgirl SpecOps.jpg)

>>22233476

OBSERVE MY CRAPPY DRAWFAG SKILLS!!!

also, we should say this to Cassandra and Aiya;
"Gooooooooooooood time of day! i present you with this booze" force bottles of booze upon them "for assisting in the creation of a new friend for Mini-Slime!!!"
then instantly disregard them in search of mini-slime and 192-slime

>>22233355
>[ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]

>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

what happened to Char and NotAnon? did they foresee HK's return and scarpered?

You're starting to run out of people to annoy......and you'd prefer to avoid the General as long as possible, lest he give you......(shudder) something to DO. OH GOD THE HUMANITY!

So you'll just go see what's up with those two foxgirls who hate you. Maybe if you grope them a bit, they'll come around to your Hobo Charms. You see no flaws at all in this line of logic.

"Ladies." You smirk as you walk up to them.

"Uuuuuugh. Just what I need......a crazy asshole to add to my current headache." Cassandra grumbles, sitting on one of the remaining pieces of masonry cradling her head in her hands. Aiya merely scowls from her seat on the ground, turning away from you even as she winces with pain. Geez, tough crowd.

"Awwww, whassa matter? Couldn't handle a little bit of delicious booze?" You taunt, cracking open another bottle and swigging it casually.

"That wasn't booze, that was POISION--GAAH!" Cassandra tries to yell at you, only to clutch her head in agony at the loudness of her own voice.

"Cassandra, please......my head is killing me....." Aiya whimpers, having curled up in a fetal position. Wow, these girls must not be used to hangovers. You're actually feeling a bit bad now....

>What do?

[ ] [have mercy on them]

[ ] [continue to troll them/let them troll themselves]

[ ] [imbibe liqour]

[ ] [other]

>>22234298
>[ ] [have mercy on them]

>>22234298
>[imbibe liqour]
>[offer foxgirls liqour]
Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.

>>22234298

GIVE THEM BOOZE FOR THEIR SERVICE TO LINCOLNS HAREM!!!! MAKE US MORE MINI-SLIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!1

>>22233805

still willing to do requests... so long as it gets more updates...

>>22234909
Moira cosplaying as solid snake.

File: 1356561966026.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 24 KB, 420x420)

>>22234936

here you go.

what did you expect?

working on a proper version

File: 1356563182125.jpg-(66 KB, 828x896, Moira Snake Cosplay.jpg)

>>22234995

here is the requested sketch.

any more for any more?

Well, if there was ever an opportunity to make amends with these two, it would be now. And you hate to see anyone in such booze-related pain.

"Hey......I might be able to do something for you two.....about those headaches." You carefully extend the offer. Aiya freezes mid-rocking motion, and Cassandra peaks her eyes a tiny fraction.

"R.....Really...?" Cassandra says in a very small, pained voice. "I-I-I mean, not that I'd accept your help, you son of a---UUUGH!" She clutches her head as another wave of pain sweeps over her. "F-F-Fine......tell us...."

"On one condition, which I will name later at my leisure."

"WH-WHAT--!? AAAAGH!---ok, dammit, whatever you want, just please, hurry....." Cassandra whimpers.

"Let it never be said I ignored ladies in need." You chuckle slightly as you reach into one of your many pockets. "Feast your eyes....."

Both of the youko lean slightly forward in anticipation of the end to their suffering.

"......On the magical cure-all......"

They lean forward even more, eyes filled with hope.

"....that is THIS!" You whip out the bottle for their eyes to see.

".........."

"It's Jack Daniels. You can read that, right?"

".......this is booze."

"And your point is?"

"HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO HELP, YOU ASSHAT!?" Cassandra screeches, her anger overcoming her pain for a brief moment.

You tut-tut at the angry foxgirl lightly. "Really now. Booze is the be-all end-all to hangover cures. Your body screams because of lack of something, why not give it back? Makes perfect sense to me."

"So we're just supposed to keep drinking to stave off the impending hangover!?" Aiya growls, glare boring holes into you.

"Pretty much, yeah. That's how I do it, and I'm just fine!" You cheerily conclude, folding your arms with a proud huff.

"And WHAT, exactly, are we supposed to do when we run out of alcohol? Did you ever think about THAT, genius!?" Cassandra snarls at you through her obvious agony.

"...........I don't understand the question."

"When we don't have any more booze, you moron!"

".....I'm sorry, I'm not getting this."

"Wha----Oh for fuck's sake! I'm saying we'll eventually run out of stuff to drink!"

"Sorry, I'm really not understanding what you're saying. I AM a crazy hobo, after all. My comprehension skills aren't the best."

"HOW CAN YOU NOT----nnnnggh!---------aaaaagh, whatever! I'll try your stupid booze strategy!" Cassandra gives up, snatching the bottle from you. You smile slightly, pulling out another bottle and handing it to Aiya.

"Just make sure to drink plenty of water with it. I find it makes the taste of booze more strong when you alternate. Makes it more enjoyable."

"I'm sure that exactly what's important to me right now." Cassandra grouches as she opens the bottle and begins to drink.

You shrug carelessly. "Hey, I'm only trying to help. Take it as you will." You turn and begin to walk away to cause someone else trouble.

"......Lincoln!" You hear the crossbow-wielding foxgirl call from behind. You turn your head to stare at her curiously.

"......I still hate you.........but........thanks." She mutters, obviously embarrassed. Aiya nods along in agreement.

You crack a genuine smile at their gratitude.

"My condition is that I get to grab your tits whenever I want."

"WHAAAAAT!?!??"

"Eeeeheeheeeheehee." You skip merrily away before they have the opportunity to bludgeon you to death with the bottles.

>WHO NOW?

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [talk to Johnson]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22235822
>run out of alcohol
This is not a phrase we understand. It's our equivalent of "The patriots" in Metal Gear Solid. Every time someone mentions it we go blank.

>>22235920

talk to Johnson, see if we can get some big guns for Zuli... to accompany her 'BIG GUNS'...

>>22235920
[X] [talk to Illiana]

Everyone gets booze.

hobos theme

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfjtpp90lu8

>>22233913
Went to go see Django. 9/10 would recommend, but not enough drinking or monstergirls.
>>22235985
This, dont wanna talk to Johnson yet.

>>22236141

i thought we could give Illiana some time to grasp the kind of girl her sister really is, but not see the general... he must be seen last so we can escape if needs be...

Also, HK, have you decided on what our new vehicle is?

>>22236181
I have an idea. It will be revealed when appropriate.

>>22236079
To me it will always be this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPSNXn2vwAs

Rolled 5

>>22236185
rolling for tank girl.

Rolled 11

>>22236210
Damn it.

Rolled 1

>>22236225
DAMN IT.

>>22236235
Imma stop rolling now.

>>22236202
I just kinda thought of that after I read this>>22233346

the gang signs and all

Rolled 12

>>22236235

WEEEEELP

Rolled 12

>>22236235
One way or another the tank girl will be.

File: 1356567314092.jpg-(514 KB, 1440x810, MUAHAHAHA.jpg)

>>22236235
Ha.

Haha.

HahahahahahahaaHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

IT'S HERE. AFTER SO LONG, IT HAS FINALLY COME.

Rolled 2

>>22236235

Well, at least HK gets to vent his pent up HUE. He's been saving it up for the past couple of threads... but I also wish to create our lovely tank girl.
Hopefully Illiana won't eat us...

>>22236326
Oh, but we haven't talked to the General yet.

>>22236321
I'm writing out a new thing, and you'll hue. Hopefully. Do you like BDSM?

>>22236345
I hereby give everyone free reign to write whatever they want for this one. I'm writing something as well. The distinct lack of HUE is threatening to drive me mad.

>>22236326
You should allow it to happen naturally, instead of trying to force it. Lest the dice rebel.

DAMN IT, WHY CAN'T I WRITE VORE.

File: 1356569266300.jpg-(76 KB, 1000x569, 1348465454509.jpg)

Rolled 4

>>22236210
Let's try for a plane girl.

>>22236778
AM I A KAWAII PLANE?

File: 1356570025544.jpg-(56 KB, 899x550, 44a10fire.jpg)

>>22236778
>Oooohhh yeeeaaahhh, oh god I'm gonna BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTT

>>22236946
MY SIDES HAVE GONE CRITICAL. I am crying right now.

>>22236946

OH JESUS FUCK, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

Rolled 16

>>22237177
then maybe i shouldn't show you this...fuck it http://pastebin.com/8YYuG5z7
story of a pilot and his sentient A10 and the wacky hijinks/sexy times they get up to

updates get posted here http://a-10writer.tumblr.com/

>>22237214
>Pastebin deleted half of it, looking into fixing it, will be fixed at some point.

There was a story here, now it's gone.

Rolled 3

>>22237214
I had just decided not to link that. I don't think we'll get hoboking back now...

>>22237258
Nah, I'll just keep it open in one of my eleventy-billion tabs.

Why the hell would I be reading when I have HUE to write?

Rolled 17

>>22237247
welp, that will tech me to post links I haven't checked in months, here is one that should work http://pastebin.com/MjbE2cUq

Before you can decide on who your next conversation partner/victim should be, you hear a screeching voice coming from above you. You look upwards, and your jaw goes slack in horror.

"LIIIIIINCOOOOOOOOOLN!" Moira howls, barely staying airborne, as she is now bloated and swollen. She looks like she's the size of a house. "I'M PREEEEEEEGNAAAAAAAANT!"

"HOLY FLYING FUCK-SICLES, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?" You scream. "PREGNANCY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Moira hollers back. "WEREBATS ARE DIFFERENT! WHEN WE BREED, WE......HHHNNNNNNNNGH!!!" She shudders, her swollen stomach undulating and jiggling.

"MOIRA!? WHAT'S WRONG!?" You scream, not knowing what else to do.

"G-G-GET OUT OF THE WAY! IT'S COMING! MOVE OR YOU'LL.....OR YOU'LL......AAAAAAAAAAAHNGH!"

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Your screams are quickly silenced as you are crushed to death under the impossible, never-ending torrent of werebat babies that fly out of her vagina.

>HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>Don't get girls pregnant, bro
>Ruins your life
>And in HoboQuest, literally, if I so feel like it

>>22237394
What makes this worse is that we're going to get drenched in birthing fluids.

File: 1356572151569.jpg-(4 KB, 149x155, 1325532578765.jpg)

>>22237394
>>22237420

Rolled 1

>>22237420
>worse
hah.

>>22237498
THE HUE TRAIN NEVER ENDS

Rolled 11

>>22237516
It's to make up for all the twenties.

Rolled 4

>>22237498
the HUE is flooding back after all those 20's.
This is a glorious day.

>>22237516
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3W0klg3MzE

Blinking a few times, as if your brain just blipped for a brief moment, you shake your head to clear it. Huh. Lost your train of thought there for a moment. Now, where were you.

"Oh, come ON. You're such a pain in the ass, you know that? Here we go again." You hear a voice grumble, seeming to come from the air itself around you.

You look around for the source of the noise, but quickly forget it in favor of the more horrifying noises coming from the Abrams, which is driving right at you.

"ARA, ARA, LINCOLN-CHAN, MY TREADS ARE SO HOT FOR YOU!" The tank yells, still very much a tank, as it drives directly at you.

"HOLY FUCK, WHY!?!?" You scream, turning to run. Alas, your flight is crushed before you can even begin as you trip over your own feet and go sprawling across the plaza. You can do nothing but stare in horror as the tank advances on you.

"MY BARREL IS READY TO FIRE, LINCOLN-CHAN! LET'S BECOME ONE!" The tank rears up, doing a wheelie as it looms above you. "SHOVE YOUR PEENOR IN MY METALLIC VAGOO!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" You scream, as you are crushed into a bloody pulp by the metallic behemoth's frantic humping.

>HUEHAHOHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHEHOHUAHUAHAUHUEHUHE

Rolled 18

>>22237825
goddamn my brain, first thing I think of when reading that is "hmm I doubt an M1's suspension could 'hump' you, but I bet a stridsvagn could, what have you done to me HK

>>22237912
Warped your brain irreparably. Just sit back and enjoy your new way of thinking.

>>22237912
ONE OF US, ONE OF US.

Doing Johnson's part next to make subsequent choices easier.

"Heeeeyyyyy there, Johnson."

"Fuck off and die."

"Well okay then."

>Who next?

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22238124

[x] Talk to Illiana

>>22238167
Illiana, then imbibe a whole metric FUCKTON of liquor, then go talk to the General. Inquire about heavy weapons oni.

>>22238124
You poor fool.
[X] [Talk to Johnson]
[X] [Again]

>>22238482
[x] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [Talk to Johnson]
[X] [Again]

this, because Johnson is just angry we weren't drunk enough the first time

2 to 2. I'll wait for a deciding vote.

I'm willing to change my vote to Johnson after drinking more.

>>22238672
Johnson it is.

The low number of votes reminds me of the first few HoboQuest threads. It's kinda nostalgic, in a way. Have I really been running these since October?

Though more votes would be nice, if only because comments are hilarious.

>>22238840
Well, theres not a lot to discuss. But does minifireslime really belch fire?

>>22238840

Hobo Quest begets drinking in the audience.

Drinking begets passing out.

Ergo, no votes.

You're a victim of your own success.

>>22238870

.......I think I can live with this.

>>22238860

I dunno. Do you think that little burp is representative, or just a one-time fluke?

>>22238896
Representative.

>>22238920
Guess you'll just have to wait and see.

>>22238935
Well, we should start training this new minislime. Or at least have minislime show her the ropes.

>>22238896
...yes?

Im wanting to see rifle-chan and tankgirl make sweet love. [Spoiler] with a beer bottle in the spout[/spoiler]

I'm writing the next part now, so if anyone wouldn't mind, since I'm busy:

The Bromont thread just 404'd, can anyone alert me if a new one gets put up?

>>22238948
We need to somehow teach her to open bottles.
>>22239100
We usually continue on the archive. If you have the extension just refresh and it should redirect you.

>>22239113
WHICH extension?

>>22239118
The 4chan extension. It has the 404-ed thread redirector.

File: 1356579201210.png-(40 KB, 664x556, j.png)

>>22239130
This thing.

>>22239186
>>22239130
Got it to work. I usually don't have the time to toy with the extension, so I thank you.

>all these missed hue opportunities

God DAMMIT!

...Is it too late for me to write my own?

>>22239461
never

>>22239461
>>22239490
Never ever.

>all right then

"FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOU!", Zuli yells as she uppercuts you into the sky.

Man, that really fucking hurts, you think, before you pull out some bottles of wine and start chugging them to alleviate the pain.

As your arc reaches its height and you begin to plummet back down towards the earth, you can't help but feel somewhat nervous. You're landing in a spot of the base that's full of vehicles. This is gonna hurt, even with your booze anesthetic effect.

You begin to approach the ground, and notice you are falling straight into a tank. In fact, it appears to be the same tank you broight with you across the rift.

You plummet down, down, down...

>>22239641
Next post is ready, but I like where this is going, so I'll wait.

>>22239641
...And fall down the tank's open hatch, into a padded reclining seat inside it.

You feel intense relief, but a nagging part of your alcohol-addled mind is reminding you that there wasn't a comfy chair right under the hatch. Bah, you tell that part, fuck that noise. Might as well relax and lay low here for a while.

Before you can even close your eyes, however, the hatch suddenly closes above you with a sharp clang.

You try to move around your seat to look up, but your arms, legs, chest, and head are quickly held to the seat by restraints that pop out of it, as if this was a bond movie or something.

"So..."

An oddly mechanical, yet feminine voice rings out from within the tank,

"You're back. And you didn't even refuel me! Looks like you'll have to refuel me..."

Behind you, where the Abrams you drifted in lies silent, comes an almost familiar sound. You can't quite place it, but you know you've heard it before. With a sense of fear that shouldn't be there, you turn slowly. Standing in front of you is a massive girl, you hope its a girl, whose skin is the same color as the Abram's. This normally would be cause for celebration, but she happens to be holding Aiya and Moira. And she's licking her lips.
"Hello sweeties, don't you two look delicious. I could honestly just eat you up!'
Its almost cute the way she says it. But then something comes back to you. From that damn /d/ site. One word, and it strikes fear into your heart. Vore. With a mighty hobo roar, you lock pick your way into her side, screaming "HANDS OFF MY HAREM BITCH!"
Surprisingly, this has the opposite effect it should have. Now, a dent does appear in her massive leg, but far from causing it pain, her eyes glaze over and she lets out a wail halfway between pleasure and pain. "Oh GOD YES. Hit me again darling, and I might reconsider eating your friends! Hit me! HIT ME!"
By this time the entire camp has gone silent. All eyes are on you and the tank girl. Your brain goes into overdrive, obviously shooting this girl won't do a thing, but maybe you could get out of this by opening fire? Before you can act, the General acts by shouting over EVERYTHING "Take down that god damn tank before it eats us!"

And the soldiers comply quickly, firing with everything they've got. The reaction from the tank is exactly what you expected, she quickly is driven to the peak again and again. It, actually, is kind of sexy.
But that marvelous train of thought comes crashing down quickly as the tank girl drops Moira and Aiya and comes crashing down to one knee. She dies in a blaze of passion and screams. The entire thing leaves your sex drive greatly depleted, along with your thirst for alcohol. Maybe you should look into becoming a priest?

>>22239768
Several mechanical arms and tendrils sprout from the tank's cabin, and slowly move towards you. As they begin to reach you, you begin to lose it.

"No... NOOOO!"

You scream, as the many metallic tendrils reach into you. You can feel them moving around you, grabbing your clothes, ripping them off, and...

Taking your booze?

The several arms let go of you, and go through the pockets of your coat and pants, taking your countless bottles of delicious alcohol, and then unbottling and emptying them into an odd vertical hole that expands horizontally whenever the bottles are placed in it.

The vehicle lets off a soft moan of satisfaction.

"Mmmmm..."

When one of the arms pours in a bottle of your 192-proof alcohol, the moan turns into a sharp gasp.

"Oh my, that is some goood alcohol... How can you even carry so much?"

The tanks sharp gasp snaps you out of your sense of relief. You finally that tank bitch is taking YOUR booze, and begin to protest.

"HEY! Tank lady... thing! That's MY alcoholic deliciousness you're chugging there!"

The voice snaps out of its guzzling and moaning after a moment of hesitation, before saying, in a slightly flustered manner:

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, it's just that I'm low on fuel, as I haven't been refueled since that mission. I think I'm full now, though."

"So... Can I go now?"

You ask.

"Yes, yes. Thank you for the fuel, I'm terribly sorry"

The voice answers, as your restraints are released.

Phew, you think as you rub your wrists, you lost your booze and threads. but at least you'll live long enough to get some more.

>ANTI-VORE, YOU MAD?

>HUEHAUEHAUHEUEHEUEHAUEHHEHEHUEEHUARUAHURHEUU

>>22240022
Its no use, we'll still have more booze.

>>22239893
>>22239867
Masochistic tank girl? Interesting.

>>22240022
Well, I don't think I was expecting that.

Mostly because my brain was too busy screaming at the loss of all that alcohol.

You immediately do a 180 and walk right back towards the grumpy Spec Ops CO.

"Awwwww, don't be like that, Johnson. Aren't we friiiieeeeeends?" You blink your eyes in a manner as nauseatingly saccharine as possible.

"......sure. Yes. Friends. Now please bend over, so I can introduce my friendship foot to your friendship ass." Johnson's glare could boil water. Thankfully, you are made of at least 75% ethanol instead of that weak stuff, so fuck the rules.

"Well, if you insist....."

"Wha----GAAAAH! STOP MOONING ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

---2 MINUTES LATER---

"What the hell are you, a fucking pogo stick!?" Johnson snarls at you, as you again leap out of his reach, prancing around on top of the mystery vehicle (which you still have no idea what it is).

You shake the empty bottle of tequila over your mouth, trying to get the last few drops out, before you smash it against your head and throw the remainder into the bushes. Didn't last very long, but long enough to keep you happy while you evaded Johnson's lunges.

"Maybe. I'm not really sure. Maybe I inherited it from my parents. You'd think I'd remember if one of my parents was a pogo stick, though. Was one? Meh, can't have been that important."

"You are absolutely out of your mind and I hate you." Johnson glowers up at you, looking quite ready to climb the vehicle just to get a hand around your neck.

"Ahhhhhh, don't be such a tightwad, Johnson! It was only a joke! Oh wait, you don't know what those are...."

"Of course I do. Knock knock."

"Who's there?'

"Your dead corpse, sinking to the bottom of the Mississippi."

".......Meh. Two out of ten. I've heard better."

Johnson sighs heavily, apparently recognizing that your drunken dodging techniques are going to keep you out of his grasp for the time being. "What the hell do you want, anyway? There better be a damn good reason."

"What's a reason?"

"Liiiiiincoooooooolnn.......!"

"Chill, Spec Ops Man, chill. I was wondering what the game plan is for when we finally get on top of everything."

Johnson gives you a dubious look. "Would you even understand a word I said?"

"Hey! Don't look down on alcohol-fueled epiphanies! There's only a 35% chance I won't understand anything!"

Johnson groans, seemingly fighting a mental war over whether to tell you something to get you to leave him alone, or to just shoot you before the whole city ends up on fire some day. He finally relents and begins to lecture you.

"The "game plan" is the same as what the General stated before. However, what we're worried about now is.....logistical issues. Mostly supplies."

"Logitech? Isn't that a technology company? Though it sounds like they make dildos."

"LOGISTICS, dumbass. As in, how we keep from running out of supplies and fuel while we're running around this weird monster-filled wonderland."

"I get it......I think. So what's the solution?"

Johnson grimaces, a moment of taking you seriously appearing. "None that are obvious so far. This portal's only so large; it's not like we can fly through it, and any construction we do on the other side is going to funnel through a very tight bottleneck, slowing it drastically. We're up shit creek without a paddle, to be honest. All we can do is hope we find a larger portal before we get stranded, or that we can resupply ourselves somehow from the surrounding resources until the brass gets everything set up for rift-side resupply."

You regard his words with as much seriousness as you can muster. Which is, admittedly, not a lot, but hey, you're trying.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to be much help on this one. But I'm sure it'll all turn out fine."

"Must be nice to be able to have such optimism." Johnson grumbles, going back to fiddling with his rifle.

You hop down from the mystery vehicle, forward rolling into a pose before sauntering off.

You have gained one important piece of information from that conversation: supplies are important. Thankfully, you now have a SUPER MEGA AWESOME BRILLIANT IDEA! You just need to figure out how to pull it off without the General riddling you with mortar rounds because he caught you in the middle of it.

>Who now?

[ ] [talk to Illiana]

[ ] [talk to General Williams]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 9

>>22240312

Illiana. It is time to see what she thinks of her sisters new outlook on life... and inter-species relationships...

>just kidding

"Ok, so I can go now, right?",

You ask, as you get up from your seat.

"Hmmm...Nope!",

The voice responds. You are put back into your seat as the restraints close around you again.

"Sorry, honey, I'm not even half full. Luckily, all the alcohol in you should fill me right up!"

The tendrils re-emerge, and begin moving towards your now naked self.

"OH GOD, NOOOOO!! I'VE METABOLIZED IT ALL BY NOW, JUST LET ME GO GET MORE FOR YOU, PLEASE!"

You plead, to no effect. One tendril comes closer than the rest. You notice it's connected to the hatch your booze was poured into earlier, and has an odd opening. It kinda looks like a-

Oh wait, it is a fleshlight.

The fleshlight thrusts into your erect fuel hose.

No wait, this can't be a fleshlight. It feels way too real. So real, in fact, that its slow pumping motions quickly leave you writhing and moaning in your seat. The voice of the vehicle begins to moan as well.

"OH! Mmmm... YES! FILL ME UP!"

The pumping intensifies, and you climax, filling up the tank's greedy fuel canister.

Meanwhile, two soldiers on guard duty look on at the tank.

"Jack... what the hell is going on in that tank? Is it just me, or is someone moaning in there?"

"Who cares, it's probably just Peter jacking off while on duty again."

>field too long

>>22240436
You relax back into your seat, letting the other, smaller tendrils clean up your crotch. Before you can even ease back into your seat properly, it suddenly lurches forward, towards the larger fuel hatch.

"WAIT!", you protest, "I THOUGHT I FILLED YOU!"

Your seat stops right in front of the harch, and the tank makes an odd tittering sound and replies.

"Hihihi, silly human, it would take WAY more semen to fill even half of my tank, even if it had all that delicious alcohol concentration yours had! Sorry, but I'm kind in a hurry right now, so I'm gonna have to use your blood instead!"

You can't believe your ears, but it doesn't matter, because your seat tips forward before you can protest further, launching you into the hatch.

Inside the hatch, you fall into a musky boiling liquid. Before you can scream from the white hot pain, several mechanical arms restrain you and drag you further down into the liquid, fondljng your shaft again. You quickly die with muffled screams in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"What a shame...", Lori laments to herself. "He didn't even come again, and I'm not even full yet!"

"Oh well, I guess I could use some of the soldiers instead..."

>>22240436
>>22240492
MUCH better.

Well, considering going up and talking directly to the General would be the exact opposite of making sure he didn't find out about your awesome plan.....

"......wait, that's just crazy enough that it might work....." You mutter to yourself.

You look over at the General. You can feel the oppressive pressure of his blood from here.

".........Yeeeeeaaaaah, maybe not."

You instead turn towards Illiana, who is currently sitting up against the Humvee with a shell-shocked, zoned-out look on her face. Seems the whole "little sister schlicking to batgirl fucking the crazy hobo" thing may have had a teensy bit more impact on her than you thought.

"HEYYYYYY, FOXY LAY-DAY!" You gangam-style your way over to her, finishing with a couple of crotch thrusts as you stand in front of her.

"....Hmmmmm? Oh......hello, Lincoln." She looks up at you with a clearly fake smile, before going back to her trance.

You frown. Well, THAT'S not the reaction you wanted at all. She's no good like this! She's boring as all hell!

Drastic measures are obviously necessary.

>What do?

[ ] [sit down and listen to her problems]

[ ] [give an inspirational speech]

[ ] [force-feed her liquor]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22240664
[ x] [sit down and listen to her problems]

[x ] [force-feed her liquor]

[ x] [imbibe liquor]

[x] [dance with her]

Rolled 9

>>22240664
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ ] [sit down and listen to her problems]
>[ ] [give an inspirational speech]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

>>22240664
[X] [sit down and listen to her problems, while handing her liquor]

This doesn't sound good.

Rolled 14

>>22240695
we must teach her gangnam style.

>>22240729
Seconding, but after that we must booze-dance with her.

>implying the HUEHUEHUE train had any breaks

You slowly wake up, and look around.

Well, looks like you're still restrainec inside the tank, but in a different position. It feels like you're being suspended in a prone position above the ground and...

You have tities.

"Well well well, look who finally woke up..."

A familiar voice says. It's not the tank's, however, it sounds too human. You look up, and see it's...

"Lycheria, would you please begin now that the subject is concious? I really need the fuel", another voice, which you recognizs as the tanks, asks.

"Of course, of course", the white haired woman in black says. stroking her already throbbing erection with a gauntled hand.

"Let's have another go, shall we?", the futa says as she walks around behind you, out of your field of vision.

"Oh my! Looks like your hymen came back intact! Excellent..."

Before you can begin to protest, the futa's servant of the emperor begins to penetrate your rear armor into your virgin lips, ignoring your gasps of pain.

As the pain and pleasure become slightly less overwhelming, you notice a deafening cacophany ringing out inside the tank.

"HUEHUEHUEVUAEHUEHUEHUAEHUE"

>field too long

>>22240878
You look up, and see several armored figures in green an yellow stroking blue, purple, studded, and even tentacled monstruous manhoods in front of you as the sing their terrible song.

"UHUEJUEHUEHUEAHUHUHEAEUHGUEJUHUEAAAEAHUHUEHUE"

The Sister's thrusting intensifies, overwhelming your virgin lips with a whit hot burning sensation. The feeling is so intense that you barely even notice when a BRmarine lets fly his guns, covering your face with its sticky payload.

Several mechanical tendrils immediately emerge, and begin to clean the goo off the marine and yourself.

"Mmm... I think I'll get full betwee. all of you..."

The tank says.

Any further thinking becomes impossible when Lycheris slams her mighty servant of the Emprah as far inside you as she can, unleshing her hot righteous fury.

Her companions join in, and several begin to spray you as they all give a united deafening cry of

"aeeeeHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Your senses are overwhelmed, and you conciousness.

When you awaken again to Lori's probing into your now ravaged lips. You look up to a discouraging sight:

The HUEmarines are still fapping and singing, and Lori's cleaning of Lycheria seems to be awakening her mighty weapon of the Emprah to continue to do it's duty.

>>22240766
Of course, but after she has had a chance to vent/beat us. We'll dance when we're both good and buzzed. Though on our end it will probably be due to trauma.

>>22240903
>>22240878
Always nice to read a little HUEretical Love while I'm typing.

>>22240903
Lycheria looks down at your face, gives you a sultry grimace, and points to the right.

You look to the right, and see... Zuli?

"Zuli?",

you squeal in a surprisingly high-pitched voice,

"Oh tha-"

You are cut off by Zuli, as she reaches down and squeezes your rather modest breasts. Hard. Zuli crouches down until her head is level with yours, then whispers in your ear:

"Do you like this? Does it hurt?"

"N-Nnnnmmmf", you moan through the tears forming from the pain.

"Good.", Zuli says.

As Zuli rises to a standing position, it finally dawns upon you that, like Lycheria, your Oni waifu now has a massive, throbbing erection. She slaps you in the face with it, and it feels hot. Burning hot.

"AAAIE!", you scream.

"Moira, shut her up", Zuli commands.

>>22241100
You look up and see Moira. She too has an enourmous throbbing erection.

"O-ok..."

She says. You notice she's wearing a collar, and Zuli is holding a chain connected to it.

Your batgirl waifu quickly stuffs her penis into your mouth. It's big, not as long as Lycheria's, but thicker, so thick you cant open or close your mouth at all.

"Try her asshole," Lycheria says, "I haven't gone there yet."

Zuli walks around behind you, out of your view. Well, your view if Moira weren't standing in front of you, grinding her thick cock in your mouth.

Zuli begins to thrust her burning volcano into your tender young anus. The burning and penetrating is too much, and you manage to let out a scream despite having your mouth full.

Big mistake.

Moira uses this opportunity to shove herself deeper into your thoat. You gag and almost puke, bur she only pulls you closer.

"O-Oh my, I should do this more often... Oooooh..."

She moans.

The BRmarines seem to be enjoying the show, as their HUEHUEHUAs intensify in tempo and volume. You feel several barrages of burning semen splash against you and Moira, who doesn't seem to mind.

>>22241360
Suddenly, you are pulled back violently, back into Zuli's scalding monstrosity. The pain and pleasure is too much, and you hear your own fluids splash on the metal floor of the tank.

"You like that, bitch?"

Zuli asks,

"This is what you get for honking me, outdrinking me, and forcing me to share you with Moira!"

She yells,

"NOW I'M THE BOSS! ALL OF YOU ARE MY BITCHES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"AND YOU, MOIRA! HOW DARE YOU PULL LINCOLN FROM ME!"

Moira stops grinding inside you.

"Eeep! No, I'm s-sorry, mistress!"

"BEND OVER! FOXGIRLS, GO TO WORK ON HER!"

Zuli's thrusting somehow becomes faster. In the corner of your eye, you see two of the foxgirls going down on Moira's anus, thrusting their long, yet slender (compared to the rest of the massive cocks you've seen so far) erections in an alternating rhythm.

Moira seems to love it, and her already massive schlong seems to grow and dig itself further down your throat.

The foxgirls must love it too, if their moaning means anything. Having the stimulation of both Moira's hole and their own manhoods grinding against each other might have something to do with it.

"THIS. IS. WHAT. YOU. GET. YOU. LITTLE. BIIIIIIIITCH!"

Zuli cries out between thrusts, climaxing as she screams out the last word so loudly it even drowns out the BRmarines' song.

You wince as you feel her massive cock rip and tear inside your tender young anus, and feel the boiling hot liquid that is quickly pumped into you burn you even more.

>>22241415
hue you make a quest thread for the hue's it would be amusing

>>22241431
I'm wondering if there's a separate place we can set up for all of these hilarious ideas and wonderful HUEs. How easy is it to set up a wiki or something like that?

Rolled 12

>>22240664
>[ ] [sit down and listen to her problems]
>
>[ ] [give an inspirational speech]


one then the other.

I don't really care which order.

>>22241622
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.

>>22241729
One can not HUE