You fucking can't. Because the entire premise of roleplaying depression correctly means you'd essentially not be participating in 3/4ths of sessions, more or less.

Depression is not "being really sad a lot." Depression is NOT BEING A FUNCTIONING HUMAN BEING for non-negligible stretches of time.

Any game that has so little happening in it that playing a depressed character is even POSSIBLE is so far removed from a typical RPG that advice we could give you would be immaterial.

File: 1356670179622.gif-(53 KB, 468x263, Squidy Tears.gif)

Those comics are so fucking sad...

>>22257768

I have to second this. Personally, the best way I managed to run a depressed character was to give her times of happiness and proactivity as to not bog down the game. That way, you can also have your moments of depression and make them more impactful.

>>22257720
>depression without going emo
who do you think "emo" is meant to insult?

>>22257768

This.

Personally, I think that if you wanted to get the 'I'm sad' feel, your best bet would be to go with bipolar. Extreme mood swings and a relatively volatile emotional state beyond your control would hit many of the major 'themes' inherent in a depressed character without the same social drawbacks.

the SAD moments would be emphised by the cheery manic side of the spectrum, and would also lead the door open to portraying madness in a real and genuine(frightening) way without losing the cartoonish 'wackyness' people tend to use to down-play crazy.

Best I can give you man.

I did it in CoC. Only the GM knew. I took a hit to POW, and would lose SAN every session or under particular circumstances (hearing a certain song, being at a certain kind of place) and roleplayed it as "constantly sleepy", with a special hatred for a particular model of car.

He was depressed because his wife and child had been killed by a possessed Buick, his wife was a gradeschool teach so he hated even going near schools, and children's music meant the SAN would drop like flies.

Ended up killing himself in the end, but it was more like a "heroic sacrifice" death.

If the character had proper depression, they probably wouldn't be adventuring.

But a depressed adventurer? Best you can do is lack motivation and lack will to live. Just kinda go with the flow. If you live, ho hum, if you die, well you were worthless anyway.

Until something plot happens and your character's damp motivations are ignited into an inferno of passion.

As a long-time sufferer I have no idea why you'd want to do this. A significant part of depression is crushing apathy- unmedicated, I have a very difficult time willing myself out of bed. Most of the time in bed is spent mulling over how today is not going to be better than tomorrow, so why even try? This, of course, spirals because existing problems don't get attention and start to build up to the point where they can't be controlled. Common displays of a depressive personality are malaise, hopelessness, and kill-joy attitudes. In other words, entirely unfun.

I have to agree with >>22257768 's assessment. A depressed character simply wouldn't be present for the party.
I hope for this post not to appear belligerent, but to be enlightening on the subject matter while also bringing your decision to question. What do you hope to gain by playing a depressed character?

>>22257996
>today is not going to be better than yesterday
Pardon me, I can't type.

Push through that depression and emerge on the other side, a magical land called "violent psychosis"!

Adventuring could be the character's desperate struggle to do something, become functional, and get over the depression.

Hmm.
Be bitter, acrid.
Life is shit for you, but obviously _only_ you.
Make that clear. Whether you openly begrudge others their happiness is optional.
Also be gritty and determined. You're in a state of constant emotional pain, but it pleases you to spit in the eye of your suffering and to prove to others that you are stronger for it.
Even if it drags you down later.
Like you know it will.
Shit just goes wrong, and you know why. You ARE why.
You are the Fail. There's no escaping the Hell that is yourself.
Fatalism is good, too. Death isn't so bad an idea when you're not really alive. Maybe you take that to heart and be suicidally courageous?
Try for a Death that'll make your Life worthwhile?
Lastly: compassionate. In my experience depressives are often surprisingly empathic and compassionate. Someone's down and hurting? You understand. You understand _better_ then the next thousand normal people. You want to them out, you really do, because no one should feel like you do.
You live by dragging yourself from moment of happiness/triumph to moment, constantly knowing the pain and sickness is waiting for you afterwards.
You might party hard, or hurl yourself into your fleeting pleasures.
You may have a temporary intensity other people find frightening.
Until the tragic, but beautiful day when that's not enough any more.
By then, if you're duty's done, you can finally eat that quarrel/bullet that's been saying your name all this time.
And be done.

>>22259661
>Also be gritty and determined.

Not depression, but the rest of that post is pretty decent advice for playing a functional character with depression-like issues.

>>22259755
To elucidate:
My particular flavor is Dysthymia, which has a sine-wave pattern to it's intensity.

On Good days gritty and determined isn't hard to do at all. There's humor in perpetual suffering because of a kink in my neurochemistry.

Bad days are non-functional days. Get in bed, stay there. Fuck work.

Ugly days are robot days. I feel nothing, I care about nothing, I'm just a shell with a core of hatred waiting to walk into a crowded place and start spreading the numb.
It's good I don't have access to guns.

And I have Buproprion now. Shit's pretty good, with few side effects (increased libido!). Barely have Ugly days at all any more, and they're curable with a trip to icanhascheeseburger or the like.

Well, you could pull off a manic-depressive character.
He would swing between being completely nonfunctional and really fucking happy to the degree of jumping off a cliff just to see what it feels like.


Then again, if the depressions are bound to a certain event, you can have a depressive person going out and trying to find the "antidote".
That's what I did when I had depressions because I was heartbroken. I never managed to get what I wanted, despite it being right in front of me. Turns out I was too depressed to find love to end my depressions.
Then again, I'm the science-y and optimistic kind, so I had an atypical reaction to depressions. I started with "what happened and how can I change it?" and only broke after about two years. Then I tried to kill myself.

Anyway, a depressed character would, among other things, have trouble remembering stuff (to the point of not knowing why they are even adventuring), constant pain in random places (not strong, but annoying) and wouldn't feel all that much. Even the death of a party member wouldn't really register for them.
They'd also have trouble even waking up in the morning, sometimes being incapable move at all. At the same time, they'd feel restless and have trouble sleeping. And they would annoy everyone by always talking about the same thing, because their thoughts go in loops. The harder the depressions, the smaller the loops.
Depressions are something that you can't take lightly.

>>22259482
Yeah, that would work.
The thing is... Just going out adventuring would cure depressions. You can't be depressed when you are living in the wildernis and need to provide for your own survival. Part of depression is learned helplessness and doing survival is being the opposite of helpless and not in control of your life.

>>22259661
>fleeting pleasures
Depressions generally start off with the subject not feeling pleasure anymore.
Like "why am I not feeling anything when I'm eating this chocolate? Why does walking not feel good?". That's why depressive people become apathic. Your whole reward system breaks down.

Easy. You act normal, chipper even. Really helpful, and laid-back and smiling and shit.

Then you wait until you crit fail something. Your character laughs it off. Then you do shit like stay in your bed until the party has to come drag you out. Slip away in the night and spend hours doing nothing whilst they go adventuring, wondering where the shit you are.

Ask the DM to put huge penalties to everything you do. So the party sees you roll a 19, and the DM says you miss.

Try to fade into the background a bit, but leaving the party wondering why you're so unmotivated all the time or why you FUCKING SUCK.

Don't whine, stiff upper lip and apologies everywhere.

>>22259661
This is all pretty good stuff. Like the other guy said, gritty and determined isn't depressed at all.

A good thing would be to make your character melancholic and 'lazy'. Depression is often accompanied by mental exhaustion and physical weariness. RP that.

>>22263139
You would get buffs for bluff checks in social situations, though.
When you are depressed, you fake emotions so that people stop fucking worrying about you.

>>22263159
To take it real far you could also not gain feats and stuff on level up, and you'd only be allowed to pick up your level bonuses when you start coming out of the depression.

Or just impose temporary LA without getting any bonuses.

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>>22257720

>>22263139
Fuck you man, stop describing my life you dick.

I roleplayed this as a lack of motivation and a general unwillingness to do anything beyond the basic needs of survival. Did this make me useless to the party? Yes, for a session or two I wasn't doing much and in combat I just kinda went after what was closest half-heartedly.
Didn't cause any harm and it conveyed the symptoms of what the character was going through rather effectively.

Now if you're looking for a long-term depression you're gonna want to start with your character gradually start avoiding contact. Maybe he talks in shorter sentences. Maybe later he doesn't say anything beyond a grunt unless specifically asked something. And later he just kinda goes off a bit by himself whenever the party is doing something he doesn't really consider important.

>>22263139
My last semester of college in a nutshell

>>22263270
>Now if you're looking for a long-term depression you're gonna want to start with your character gradually start avoiding contact. Maybe he talks in shorter sentences. Maybe later he doesn't say anything beyond a grunt unless specifically asked something. And later he just kinda goes off a bit by himself whenever the party is doing something he doesn't really consider important.
And then one day he's really fucking relaxed and looks genuinely happy... Because he finally found a way to kill himself.

Expressionless, quiet, completely lacking emotions and by appearance deriving no pleasure from anything he does. When not pressed for adventure-related things, he shuts down and doesn't get out of bed, or then spends all his time doing something that occupies his attention and walls out reality.

I imagine the quintessential basement hikky neckbeard character would be Xan from Baldur's Gate.

>>22263310
And this folks is why anti-depressants warn of suicidal impulses as a side effect. Once you start feeling better because of the drug, you still are depressed and your life is still shit but now you have the energy and motivation to actually kill yourself.

>>22263354
And this is why you should never take just anti-depressants and not seek help.
Don't mean to go off-topic too much, but seriously, if you're depressed you should take anti-depressants to deal with the symptoms while seeing a therapist to deal with the cause.

>>22263371
Depends on your depressions.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was reliant on a drug that fucked with my mind.
Fuck, I don't even drink alcohol.

>>22263383
That's why you go to therapy. I'll see if I can find the statistics, but when I studied it in college, it was something like an 82% chance of relapse once someone got off AD pills with no therapy and about 20% chance of relapse if they took pills while seeing a therapist for at least six months.

>>22263383
I was the same. Don't drink alcohol etc. But doc's orders.

It wasn't so bad, but after awhile I started yawning all the fucking time and getting this annoying buzz behind my eyes. So I just stopped.

Not really sure what eventually helped shake it for good. I think a mix of friends and life not pulling it's punches anymore.

But that's enough of that nonsense.

>>22257720
Roleplaying feeling like shit all the time. Wanting to do something about your circumstances, but completely unable to push yourself to do anything. Unable to sleep, and then sleeping too much. Overreacting over the smallest thing. Hating what you are so much that you want to die, but being unable even to push yourself to kill yourself.

Depression isn't a great trait for 'adventurers' because it's an illness which makes the person completely self-defeating.

>>22263114
Then that's the character's motivation for adventuring, and why s/he can't bare to be doing nothing between missions.

>>22266680
Living for the fight, always on the move.
Just so that your mental issues may never catch up with you.

That's an awesome concept.
While the rest of the party settles down, this dude just searches for another group.
And one day he realizes... He's cured. And he becomes a mentor guy for a new generation of adventurers.
His journal that he kept to combat his weakened memory will be the most awesome thing ever.

File: 1356724224958.jpg-(594 KB, 3696x1520, immortality.jpg)

Depends what they're depressed about. Work to the theme.

Image related.
>I strung the comic into this image

>>22263133
I still took pleasure in things; role-playing in particular.
However I was also rather...uh.."psycho" about it, and was sometimes handled with kid-gloves while my choler was high.
Gratefully my friends tolerated it, and I was quick to apologize for any small offense.

Make the depression your fault

Like, the reason you've become depressed is because you're the one that caused [INSERT REASON FOR DEPRESSION HERE]

For example, you blame yourself for your family's death, or after an encounter with some crazy ass monster that almost killed you, you realized your own morality.

Don't blame the world for your depression, blame yourself.

That helps make it more engaging instead of OH, THE WORLD IS AWFUL, I'M SO SAD, BOO HOO

>>22263383
I've heard this rationale, and truly?
It's bullshit.
It's a mask for the depression poisoning the idea of your recovery.
Here's the truth that beats it: internalize that your neurochemistry, the juices in your brains, are out of balance. That's the only reason you're depressed. Depression isn't about your character, isn't about your personal choices, isn't about some "lack of willpower", or any bullshit you've probably been told makes you a disappointment to whoever.

It's a chemical issue.

Chemical's in turn fix it. That's all there is to it. Forget the macho garbage about "beating it without help like my Old Time Tough Pappy did."
He probably didn't. He just didn't tell anyone. Betcha he drank. Betcha you can guess why.
So. Dump the posturing, and try a new solution.
It might just work.

>>22266914
Shut the fuck up, and take your know-nothing ass to a different topic.
You have nothing to contribute.

>>22266934
...I did it without medication.
I knew *exactly* why I had depressions and thus I knew what had to happen for my recovery.
You are underestimating the complexity of the brain. Being in a situation that you can't accept (like, for example, being entirely dependant on medication that makes you high and retarded) is exactly the kind of situation where depressions only get worse.
Obviously, there's people that have depressions because of purely mechanical reasons - Maybe a malfunctioning gland or something - and these people obviously need medication because there's no other way. But there's plenty of cases of depression that can be fully solved just by attacking the issue at the root.

Actual, clinical depression? You don't roleplay it. Because it takes several problem PC characteristics and roles them into one handy syndrome.

>>22266988
I'm not trying to be insulting or anything, I just mean from a role playing standard, at least in my amateur opinion.

I have no idea what real depression is like, so if I offended anyone, I'm sorry.

>>22266914
...You do realize that depressions are based on not fucking accepting the world? On feeling that there's NOTHING you can do to change your situation?
If you hate yourself, you don't become depressed. You just hate yourself.

Make it subtle.

I'm currently playing a knight on a FATE who had his entire house wiped out (Because the DM did it on purpose during chargen, I had no say in it), making him the only survivor, and instead of sperging about and crying to everyone about how awful it is, his depression/trauma is reflected on how he acts in a racist/prideful manner and so such.

But yeah, as I said, I think the key for "druhma" and "depression" in RP is simple. Keep it subtle.

>>22267058
>"druhma" and "depression"
...Are you fucking serious?

>>22267144
It's hard to take both of these things seriously, in all fairness.

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>>22267018
A-an apology? Someones actually concerned about if they offended someone...? ...My god...

Place all other characters goals (even minor goals) above the life of your own character.

Help the others if it isn't much work, if it is, find a way around it.

Apologize. About everything.

Be terrified of either hell or nothingness. Even more so then being alive another day, shit, that's the only reason I'm still here some days.

Laugh hardest at yourself when you do something wrong, have a smile on your face around others, make jokes at your own expense.

Take every little damn insult (real or imagined, malice or innocent) completely to heart, apologize or laugh, and then remember, the person who insulted you is more important, clearly.

Trust anyone's instincts over your own.

Abandon personal quests you do start.

Have no personal goal apart from helping the others, just because it gives your life some meaning.

>>22267254
Most of these are great, actually.

>>22263139
Being often depressed myself, this is the closest one could do and still be a "proper gamer".

In short, play chill and along, but that first Nat 1 kills your spirit for the rest of the session until some Nat 20 brings you up again.
But you never really forget about the shit that bothers you.

Oh, and the going-away part works. It's actually scary. My girlfriend does it at times and I can recognize it for what it is (and we've discussed it) but it still spooks the shit out of me.

And it's not bonuses to hiding feelings, it's bonuses to empathize.

>>22267018
Apology accepted, I overreacted. I apologize in turn.

To wit: part of the problem, in my experience, is that attitude. Which is ironically a conventional, logical perspective.
And yet it's wrong.
Guilt and shame are two strong, classic motivators. And they can sure make a person act depressed. But it's not the same thing. That person will have times, which will increase in duration, where they forget their shame and guilt. They will inexorably shed some of it, rationalize what happened.
They will overcome and persevere. It's uncontrollable, it's the changing off hormones in the mind.
A depressive won't. Can't.

This is the core of it. It's not an event. It's not a mood. It's not temporary in any sense.
Depression IS. Capital I, capital S, capital of the United States of Melancholia.
The pitcher plant of life, and there's no (apparent) way out. No act of revenge or romantic catalyst fixes it.

>>22267013
Hey, good on you. Not what I know about it, but glad you recovered.
I'd suggest watching a National Geographic special called Born to Rage. It's about whether there's a genetic linkage to the neural mechanics of being hot-tempered.
It's informative, and surprising.

>>22267254
Also this. +1.

Anyone asks how you feel, you say you're fine. But you don't feel. You feel hollow. The only thing that makes you feel is extremes, and extreme happiness is hard to find. Extreme anger is easy.

>>22267254

If you're ever right about something, or beat someone at something, apologize for it, but then hold onto it, never let yourself (and because of this, them) forget it. Let this one small victory keep you alive for as long as it can.

Anything that clearly makes you sad? Smile about it, or badly hide smiling about it. Whatever happened sucks ass, but you knew it would, you were right, and that's rare.

>>22267363
Thank you for helping me understand.

>>22267364
Also good.

Oh, and self-medicate. Alcohol, refined sugars, sex (and not necessarily gentle either; while you're not any more inclined to rape someone you might pound the shit out of a prostitute with your dick or your fists, or both), and drugs (and rock and roll, music is a classic mood-stabilizer) are all good accompanying vices.

>>22267018
>>22267238
Oh god. Quick get him out of there while he's still a functional human being.

>>22267422
Remember to hate yourself for doing this shit. No one else has to do shit like this to make it through the day.

>>22267422
>depression makes you have sex violently
wat
Are you thinking of manic depression? Where you are depressed but are trying to kick yourself back into mania with drugs and obsessive behaviour.
Depression is pretty boring. Roleplay it by not washing and not leaving the house.

>>22267477
Hey now, I always washed when I wasn't taking antidepressants.

>>22267254
>Laugh hardest at yourself when you do something wrong, have a smile on your face around others, make jokes at your own expense.
Fuck, I still laugh that everything that might or might not be a joke.
And that's even though my depressions are over.

>>22267477
As someone who's severely depressed and self-medicates and whatnot (in addition to my anti-depressants I am an alcoholic stoner) I can attest to the fact that violent sex is sometimes necessary just to get off due to how numb you are. Though it didn't help that I'm a chronic daily masturbator as well...

>>22267410
There was an experiment with dogs.
The dogs were in a room and got shocked with electrodes. They could avoid the electrodes by pressing a button.
Then, the non-control group had their buttons disabled. Pressing the buttons did nothing.
These dogs would later not move away when they were shocked, despite being in a room big enough to avoid the shocks.
It's called learned helplessness and part of the issue with depressions. Failing too often in major ways gives you the feeling that you can't affect the world around you, which causes you to undergo light depression syndroms.
And then you suddenly realize that you feel less... You don't feel full after eating. You don't feel energetic when waking up. Everything feels like it lost color.
And thus you have even less of an incentive to change the world around you... And so you become even more helpless, which strengthens the symptoms. And then you get to the point where you don't know which day it is or why you are doing what you've been doing for the last three days, because your memory starts getting worse (Turns out the reward mechanism is linked to the creation of new memories).
And so it spirals down until you just want to kill yourself.

>>22267364
For me it was painful thoughts. Especially the pain of thinking of a girl that rejected me...
...It's essentially standard teenager behaviour, except that it's an actual serious issue in this case.

Another reason why being a teenager sucked balls.

Ok, this thread is weird...
On the one hand, it feels like I stepped into /adv/ territory.
On the other hand, these comments that look like whiny emo teenagers are actually legitimate information about depressions.

>>22267644
Well, no, because if you're really depressed you learn to function by holding it all in and being boring and quiet.

The alternative is facing the crippling fear that everyone will alienate you when they realize how fucked up you are.

Ok, so question for people who actually know the difference...

When does semi-regular physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion cross the line from simply being "burnt out" on a regular basis and become actual depression? Because this last month or two has been bad for me.

>>22267733

Easy:
How do you feel when you do something you enjoy?
If you feel hardly anything or even nothing at all, you've got depressions.

>>22267696
I chose something in between.
Because, hey, fuck whichever deity was responsible for this shit. I tend to be stubborn and thus my depressions were kind of atypical.

>>22267756
It usually helps, but how much it helps depends on the kind of shit I've been dealing with recently and if I can actually get my mind off of it, or if I'm still half-thinking about it while trying to have fun.

>>22267644
Hey, welcome to the Red Pill World.
Yeah, teenagers are kinda obnoxious, but that old school Tough Guy Don't Be A Fag shit carries less water then it did now that it's okay(er) to be Gay AND medical chemistry has advanced.
You can decide for yourself if that's a good thing, but I posit that indeed Time Hath Moved On regardless.
Also, I've got this gigantic rant about the NRA brewing up, and I really need to start blogging this stuff.

>>22267756
Actual diagnosis is more complicated than that, obviously, but that's not a bad starting point.
Also, beware self-diagnosis.
>AdmiralAckbar.mp3

>>22267505
I find that bathing makes me sleep, and when I'm depressed sleeping more is generally preferable.

>>22267477
I'm not, but it could be related to Dsthymia.

>>22267799
Then you're probably fine.
There's plenty of room to feel like shit, and be completely normal. =]

>>22267861
I know.

It's just that "feeling like shit" has become such a constant thing for me lately that I wasn't sure if I had actually slipped into something more serious than just always being burnt out.

And besides, even constant burn out can not be healthy if it drags on too long.

>>22267849
>red pill
shut the fuck up

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>>22267849
This is more blue pill world.

I was visiting Mom for Christmas, and we came across a puppy abandoned by the side of the road struggling to get through the snow. It was adorable, playful, alert, and looked like it had been taken care of.

We went around searching nearby for an owner but didn't find any. So, we decided to take the puppy to the local animal shelter since neither of us could care for it.

The puppy unfortunately didn't have an ID pip, and there was no collar. But then we got to the real problem: all the pens at the shelter were full, and they had no more room for 'walk-ins'. There was also a no-tether ordnance introduced recently to Mom's community, and animal control wouldn't take strays once they'd been picked up by someone.

Now, there might have been a more logical option to take that we didn't see at the time (actually I still don't see it now), but in that moment it looked like the only thing we could do is re-release the puppy where we found it; there was no way this little thing would survive out in the cold. (cont'd)

>>22268221

But here, I get to my point. My personal feeling at the time was of slight frustration that the system wasn't working properly. I mean, yes, the puppy's situation was quite dire, but tons of living things (humans included) die in cruel circumstances all the time; I simply can't be upset for all of them.

My mother, on the other hand, was in absolute tears. She was -HYSTERICAL-, to the point where she started envisioning the 'tragedy' of leaving -me- in the snow if I was a baby and -telling the shelter workers about it-. I honestly didn't get it, and felt more embarrassed at Mom's outburst than ashamed to not feel as badly about the puppy as her.

Eventually they caved and brought in a makeshift crate for the puppy, but they were adamant in explaining that animal control needs to be contacted upon seeing a stray, and to otherwise leave the animal in question alone.

I thought this made perfect sense, and was pretty much done with the matter as I drove Mom back home. Mom, however, did not get over it as easily. It took her a couple of days, even after placing an ad in the paper for the puppy as a last-ditch effort to find its original owners (if it had them).

So, did I under-react, or did my mother overreact, or both/neither? The whole 'not really responding to negative stimuli' bit I've seen in a couple of these posts got me thinking about it.

>>22268229
Thats an isolated incident, but I'd say your mother overreacted. And besides, seeing a happy puppy in the snow and not giving a shit ≠ freezing puppy in the snow and not giving a shit.

Stay strong, brothers. Stay strong.

This thread reminds me just how deep I am in the grips of depression. FFS, I wish I was capable of getting up and DOING something, and that the mental health services in my area functioned worth a damn.

This fucking thread...

Why? Why is everything making me face the parasitic, all-consuming lethargy and gloom that've built up inside me, over a mere few days? Why is it all coming to a head now?

Talking with people again. Looking at art. Reading these testifications. It all makes sense. It all applies to my twisted, broken psyche that I've been trying to piece together over such a long time. It's making me feel alive again, and I feel terrified at this fact.

Over the past few days of facing these inner demons, rather than stewing in them and only apathetically half-recognizing them, has done more good- if stirring the shitpot of neuroses is 'good'- than three years of being a layabout fuck trying to find happiness in the simple things again has.

What's happening, /tg/? What is going on inside my head? Because I just don't know anymore.

You could make them a drug addict. Lots of people use drugs as self medication for all kinds of things, depression being on of the most common reasons.

>>22268446
>What's happening, /tg/? What is going on inside my head? Because I just don't know anymore.
You are undergoing necrocybermancy.
The loop is about to restart. You can either kill yourself and let your real body die or go for another loop and wait until the surgery is done and your new shiny cyberware installed.

>>22268492
... Thanks for the reminder that I really need to play E.Y.E, I've been putting that off, but where's the relevance to my post?

>>22268446
Either you're projecting or you have depression. Go talk to a professional.

>>22268524
> but where's the relevance to my post?
I just wanted to fuck with your head because your post sounded way too poetic.

Try sports if you haven't already. You are an animal. Animals tend to go crazy when they are stuck in tiny cages.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64063/

That link has the syndromes for all the recognised variations of depression recognised by the DSM-IV-TR. (It's the most widely accepted listing of mental disorders and their symptoms in the western world.)

The DSM dose not present an aetiology as no universal model of mental disorder has established dominance, officially at least. However, as symptoms are visible, you should be able to use it as a guide in role-playing depression. To go further, I recommend doing some skim reading to assess which psychological school most closely aligns with your own view of the mind and just say what that school says about depression. That'll help you know when certain behaviour is appropriate.

Lastly, as there is a great wealth of psychological literature, it seems evident that we haven't all of the answers. The existence of multiple schools even indicates that we disagree on specific paradigms. So rather than aiming for accuracy, which is folly as the objective dose not exist, do one of two things: Use it as a justification for learning more about psychology and engage in a spirited debate with your GM to establish the psychology of the mind you will use or
..
...
make it up. Play it as a game and play 'depressed without going emo' as you assume 'depressed without going emo' is. If somebody calls you out on the details, tell them to chill or call in the GM to resolve. Heck, if possible, roll on INT and tell them that in-world, they don't know squat. :P

tldr: No objective knowledge of depression exists except agreed upon symptoms. Either learn more and join the debate or make shit up.

I've played a depressed character for a long time now.
Generally I followed these three rules:
1) Don't initiate any social interactions, keep to yourself unless you are needed.
2) When actually doing something give your best but always colour the expected outlook bleak (it will never work, everyone will die).
3) Don't monologue endlessly about why you're depressed, actually, don't mention it at all, avoid telling even if questioned directly.
4) Let yourself have better days.

Pure selfdiagnosis here, so take it for what you will, but reading this thread makes me think i used to be depressed. As in skipping class for a whole semester of university because why bother? What can i contribute to the world that can't be done by somebody else?

I'm not sure exactly how i got out of it but i think it was a combination of:
1- Getting a job. I was offered one, didn't need to go searching for it, wasn't doing anything and so i couldn't really make up an excuse to not take it, even if it was just a temp job with shitty pay (but hey, i got to mess around with lasers). This forced me to actually talk to people and get out of the house.

2- Ended up leading my fencing club because the other guy had a daughter. And oh hey, i'm actually doing something and there's apparently no one else in this city who can do it, how odd.

>>22268533
But I don't even know where to start. A therapist? A psychologist? A full-blown sanitarium?

>>22268557
I fuck with my own head more than enough, thank you. The shitty attempt at sounding poetic was trying to enjoy a bit of melodrama at my own expense. Instead I feel silly and stupid.

I'd love to try sports, something active, but I'm an asthmatic pile of 110 pounds of waterweight. I'm fairly certain I'd snap like a wishbone if I tried anything of the sort, and certainly wouldn't mend afterwards.

>>22268667
Therapist. Or psychologist.

>>22268667
>Instead I feel silly and stupid.
That's good. That means there's still hope.

>I'd love to try sports, something active, but I'm an asthmatic pile of 110 pounds of waterweight. I'm fairly certain I'd snap like a wishbone if I tried anything of the sort, and certainly wouldn't mend afterwards.
There's always *some* kind of sport you can try.
How about archery? Or table tennis?

Try delusionally noble depression. The kind where you'd treat most of the world better than yourself because you feel confident and bleakly content with your own worthlessness. This mindset is exhibited by an extremely high tolerance for pain and misery in general without outward reaction to it, as well as by grim, stoic selflessness. Respond to strife with a faintly spiteful enthusiasm; make the world really fucking work for it. You have a hard time taking compliments or accepting generosity; you will find a small part of you beaming at the slightest praise or kindness, but you feel guilty for your joy and mentally snuff it out, attempting to politely refuse the kindness because it's only ethical that it not be wasted on you.

>>22268735
You could also play an aspect of "Never allow yourself to feel relieved before you've seen the end".
So someone who doesn't dare to to let themselves feel joy in fear that the situation might get worse in just that moment.

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>>22268700
If you say so.

>>22268701
Archery? Are you mad? That requires extreme physical fitness- if you want to pull a bow with any real draw, that is- and a degree of control over one's body I simply do not have.

As for table tennis, I fear that'd lead to pic related. I don't want to get served by Christopher Walken playing an oriental ping-pong enthusiast, badly, yet still pulling it off. That's simply not my idea of fun.

>>22268798
>Archery? Are you mad? That requires extreme physical fitness- if you want to pull a bow with any real draw, that is- and a degree of control over one's body I simply do not have.
The thing is that your asthma won't hinder you.
The strength needed to draw a bow is exactly the kind of thing that will make your life better.
And, hell, I tried archery once and I was so weak at the time that most of my female friends had stronger muscles. I was still able to draw the bow properly about five times or so and shoot in the general direction of my target for the next hour.

>>22267379
Neither of those are things Depressives can do.

As a sufferer myself, succeeding at something was extremely diffficult, even on good days, simply because of the lack of will or focus or desire or passion or anything.

When depressed, the only thing you can hold onto is the depression. There are no "Hold onto it for as long as you can."

If you're depressed, you dismiss it as a fluke and groan on.

Legitimately smiling while depressed is a huge effort. Fakely smiling while depressed doesn't happen cause you don't have the energy.

>>22268844
And the only reason you were missing was probably just cause you're doing it wrong- hell, I've seen a 90 yr old woman shoot better than me 100/100 times (although admittedly with a compound bow).
Archery's pretty good, but be prepared to spend a lot of time standing around chatting to the other people at the club- there tends to be long breaks between shooty-periods.

>>22268961
Nah, I missed because my arms started fucking up after a few shots.
Didn't have the strength to pull correctly. First few shots were all bull's eye.

>>22267934
Make me, cracka!
Cracka!
Cracka-ass cracka!

>>22266718
Can depression be cused that way?

>>22272901
cured*

>>22267254
Stop describing my fucking life, please.

>>22276766
Agreed.

>>22266718
As somebody just starting anti-depressants I'm totally jacking that at somepoint.

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>>22272901
Yeah.
Many cases of depression (not all, of course) are merely due to a person not doing anything with their life. Going out there and doing things gets you past that.

barely got out of bed today because of the promise of Magic and some 40k played those and was told that we are playing again tomorrow. So at least the beginning of my weekend is figured out. I have a nagging feeling that my friends are just pulling some sort of mean joke on me. There can not be any way that I am fun to be around right now. Honestly why would you want to be around the dopey white kid who is boring as fuck? God I hate feeling like no one actually is curious how I feel or cares why should they right? Hell bed is the only place I feel safe.

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>>22267254

..I.. What. This isn`t funny. This isn`t funny at all!
And it hits way to close from home.

>>22278626
I know that feeling.

Also I hate my bed.

>>22278626
If you can play those games without raging when you lose you're already more fun to be around than half the playerbase!

>>22278724
I don't rage but I feel like you are lying.

>>22267254
Please stop being me.

>>22267477
Depression is often accompanied by loss of libido or even ED.

None of you guys are important enough that anyone would hold actual, malicious feelings towards you for very long. Get over yourselves.

You're all just another dude in all those other people's lives. When someone calls you up, they're not doing it out of any ulterior motives to get your hopes up and then crush them. Again, you aren't important enough for someone to spend all that energy on you, so don't assume it. When you're called up, it's because they genuinely want to be around you. But not so much that they will be upset if you turn them down. Because again, you're just another dude.

I've been there too. Obviously not exactly where each and every one of you are, but that's not the point. I've been there, and I've moved on. You can too. Don't me melodramatic enough to think you can't move on, because you can. Just:
1. Stop giving so many fucks. It's not worth it. Start treating as much of everything that makes you sad or pisses you of with "I DON'T CARE" or "whatever the fuck". It gets easier and easier.

2. Fake it until you make. It's a genuine psychological thing that you convince yourself of stuff being true, even if you know/honestly think they aren't true, by repeating them often enough to yourself. You don't have to be the happiest dude on this planet, just pretend like you are happy and you'll slowly by gradually become happier. It's not overnight but it's worth striving for. This goes for all mental qualities that you wish you'd possess.

Also, you're not alone. This might sound cliché, but some people genuinely think they're the most miserable souls on the planet, and thinking this makes it all worse. You're not. Not only are there a lot of people who have it much worse, almost all people on the face of this earth have to deal with doubt and self-loathing. People are never entirely as calm and collected as their exterior would suggest.

Just keep calm and carry on.

My team always "out of role" role plays...

"Well my lonely Hero walks home alone, Depression working, drinks coffee, says good morning to no one"

>>22268665
Regular exercise is one of the primary and best methods of treating mood disorders.

>>22278790
No really, the standard for fun to be around is much lower than you think.

>>22278832
My depressions stopped my beard from fully developing and the gain of muscle mass that normally comes with puberty.
Right now everything is coming back to me.

I know a female friend of mine who had a similar experience. After her thyroid gland was removed and she started getting a more balanced hormonal system, she gained a really shapely body. Big breasts, huge ass.

>>22278851
>Again, you aren't important enough for someone to spend all that energy on you, so don't assume it.
...You've never met bullies, have you?

Other than that, your advice is something every teenager on this goddamn planet should read. You will figure it out sooner or later, anyway, when you become an adult.

Alright. From someone who knows depression.

First thing you want to understand: Depression is not sadness. You don't "get depressed" for a time then get over it. Depression isn't even extreme, acute sadness.


Depression is basically emotional death.


It's not like you're miserable just all the time. No, you are so emotionally dead that the only word you can describe it with is misery. You don't feel anything good, if you do, it's fleeting, for a moment, muted, before once again your shoulders sag, your mouth frowns, your head bows, your eyes turn to the ground.

You laugh, but you realize later just how hollow and pointless it is. It hasn't helped you at all in the long run, you're still empty inside.

You feel anger, but even if you punch someone in the face, but when you have, you realize that it didn't really matter. You struck him, so what. You haven't really changed anything, only thing now is he's probably going to punch you back. It didn't change much.

You came along with your acquaintance or even just some guy you met in a bar because your life is meaningless. You don't expect to find meaning in this, you're not doing it because it seemed like a good idea at the time, you're not really even sure why you did it at all.

You have hopes, for a time. You think about it, then shortly realize how fruitless it has been, that the odds are stacked against you, and that like the other times, if it comes true, it still won't make you any more whole, you know that in the end you'll still feel dead inside.

You contemplate suicide, and if you happen to ask yourself why you're thinking about it, you struggle to come up with an answer. You don't want to commit suicide because you want to end the pain, you can't really reason why you want to. At the least it'll make a difference to you. Maybe.


If you want to roleplay a character with major depressive disorder, your character is already dead.

>>22279400
Now I wonder:
How does depression relate to psychopaths? Aren't these people incapable of feeling most emotions?
Does that mean depression is a condition of psychopathy for a person that wasn't like that from birth?
It's a really interesting thought-experiment because it shows how really fucking incompatible psychopaths are to normal people.

How many people have posted about "understanding depression" in this thread and claimed to be some sort of unofficial expert on the matter?

>>22279486
no
no
no

1.


characterized by shallow emotions (including reduced fear, a lack of empathy, and stress tolerance), coldheartedness, egocentricity, superficial charm, manipulativeness, irresponsibility, impulsivity, criminality, antisocial behavior, a lack of remorse, and a parasitic lifestyle. However, there is no consensus about the symptom criteria and there are ongoing debates regarding issues such as essential features, causes, and the possibility of treatment.[3]

>>22279486
So, reduced emotions, but most importantly, not caring about others. At least, that's what science seems to think at this point.

The quotation is from the wikipedia article on psychopathy, anyway

>>22279516
You don't feel reduced emotions, you feel reduced negative emotions for your actions.

IE, you don't feel things like, oh, peer pressure, social restraint, etc.

Most important thing though, yes, is that you care no more for another human than you do a disposable pen.

cont.
Psychopathy is a form of personality disorder just like depression. Depression is not a form of psychopathy.

>>22279499
And now imagine having had depressions from your birth.
Why would you feel bad for your condition? It would be entirely normal to you. Maybe you can live fine with inhibited emotions if you never had full emotions.

>>22279524
I'm not saying depression is psychopathy.
I'm saying depression uses the same mechanism as psychopathy, but overlaid onto a person with normal socalization, which causes tons of suffering.

cont.
>It's a really interesting thought-experiment because it shows how really fucking incompatible psychopaths are to normal people

Incompatible how ? Psychopaths can be very succesful CEO's, respected in the community. People don't find out until the 'path is caught murdering people.

He can put up an act to fit in because he likes the conveniences of being an accepted/respected member of the community.

>>22279541
See >>22279536
I'm talking about how a psychopathic mindset affects an already developed brain, causing rejection in form of depressions.

Obviously I might be wrong, but I think this is a viable line of thinking. There should be tests done on this.

>>22267254
Ugh, there are bad days, and there are the days you wish you had a good proper reason to not avoid going for the knife. Not a reason to go for it, mind, you don't need one, you need all your tethers gone, every last person who might be impacted by your decision gone. Just wander off and lay low like an old dog; fuck, I'm older than any dog, it's been good so far, the rest is just a slow trudge to senility. Can I go back down the reincarnation ladder? I wanna be a dog again. Or a cat, I guess; really any sort of housepet.

>>22267756
I've upgraded from numb all the time to brief sparks that I can't seem to get to stay lit.

So... clinical depression to manic depression? yay.

>>22267902
that's sorta what depression is, grief stages gone on too long

kinda like an error message for a computer, some types of depression can be caused by a problem that doesn't have an apparent solution; see learned helplessness

>>22268198
agreed, I feel like I'm in fucking FLCL only the intro paragraph is eight years long or more and the hot aliens and space robots never show up

>>22279536
objection, you'd have no neurological reward system, a born-depressive would have the same symptoms, only they'd be harder to diagnose and treat because they'd have no basis for comparison, everything would be dull and rather pointless to them

why fucking bother with the world, it doesn't measure up to what these other people say about it

basically, you'd have hikkokimori

>>22279568
>>22279541
okay, that's fucking interesting

>>22279961
It's just an idea.
Your theory might be just as valid, but I guess the plasticity of the brain would mean that you just don't have any problem with the broken reward mechanism.

And depressions don't always remove the entire reward system, anyway. Often you just need a really strong basis for getting the reward.
Maybe the system does work but is simply muted to such insane extents that a person not born that way doesn't realize it.

I made the experience that my body would behave as if everything was entirely normal, but my mind didn't get any rewards. So at some point I'd start smiling because that's a situation where I'm normally happy, but I wouldn't feel happy.
And in hindsight, the memory would be a happy one.

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>>22279536
Yeah, I'll spare you guys the details but during both my depression and later my panic disorder, it really wasn't all that bad until I figured out that I didn't have to live like that.

>>22267254
Please. Stop. The point that you've just driven home is something brutal. This entire thread is something brutal...

OP, why the hell would you want to RP depression anyway? Some of the only people who could pull it off well are the people who've gone through it, and I may not be speaking for everyone here, but even pretending to be back in that hole is the last thing I'd ever want to do.

>>22280007
That squid is a gigantic faggot. Afterlife or reincarnation aren't guaranteed, don't live your life for the sake for others.

>>22267254
You sir have hit on pretty much every point I've ever realized about my own depression. Seeing that someone else is capable of spotting it doesn't help much, though.

At this point, the only thing that keeps me looking like a normal human being is duty. At some point about 10 years ago, I fumbled my way into a relationship with a woman who found my embittered cynicism amusing. She wanted to get married, we got married. She wanted a kid, we had a kid. She wanted another, and after 3 miscarriages (all of which I still can't shake the feeling I'm at fault for) we had another. I finally decided I didn't want anymore, and made the first serious decision on my own that I had made in years, and got a vasectomy, so I didn't bring anything else into this world.

NOW, I have a son, who needs a dad. Not some mook who's whining or moping all the time. So when I would rather lay in bed, I get the fuck up, and take him disc golfing.

I have a daughter who needs someone to hold her and tell her she's pretty when that jackass little billy tells her she's got a big nose. I don't apologize for the shit genes I gave her, I give her a list of comebacks to make that little shit wish he'd picked on a boy instead.

I have a family that needs food, and shelter, and healthcare. I bust my ass everyday for them.
If they weren't here, would I soldier on? Probably not. I'd probably be a statistic. But as it stands, I'm what they have, and I refuse to fall, because for once in my life, somebody needs me.

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>>22284479

>This whole thread

I am so glad I'm mentally stable. This all sounds fucking terrible.

>>22257768

Shit, I'm depressed

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS FORGOT XAN
FUCKING XAN

BALDUR'S FUCKING GATE

XAN

>>22284933
Well, at least it makes you appreciate your inner reward mechanisms.
And you learn quite a lot about other mental illnesses. I now know how dangerous my own mind can be to me.

>>22284479

I wasn't aware Madoka had a rpg

Can I be a magical boy instead?

>>22285024
How can he be depressed? He has a motherfucking moonblade.

>>22285024

Our quest is vain

>>22285042

I imagine it's kind of like having a good-guy chaos marine. There is nothing explicitly against it but it's strange.

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Maybe this could be your motivation to adventure despise the fact you're depressed as fuck

>>22285099
That guy is the opposite of depressed.
He just has a shitty life, but a functional mind.

...But didn't he let himself be beat up by some bitch? So might not be *that* well-adjusted.

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>>22285151

Well, he always gets beaten up

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>>22257720

Watch Melancholia.

>>22285257
...Sounds like a pointless movie. At least from what Wikipedia says.

>>22257720
Go read the Ravenor books. Frauka is a great example of a functional depressive in 40k.


However, perhaps you should clarify: are you wanting to roleplay someone currently going through a depressive episode or are you actually wanting to attempt to roleplay someone with full-blown, stuck and stubborn recurrent depression? It does make a big difference. There's a degree of worn-down and don't-give-a-fuck that takes time to reach.

>>22267254
I'm with several of the others here. On the one hand it's some cold comfort to know I'm truly not alone in this boat. On the other hand, cold comfort is no true comfort. But then, that's the story of our lives, isn't it?


Back to OP, however, Depression doesn't always prevent a character from accomplishing great things, but it may steal any certainty she or he has as to the rightness of what they've done. After all, Lincoln is suspected to have been a depressive.

The real issue with perceptions of depression and where they most commonly differ from the reality, well, rather, the biggest and most common divergence, is this: Depression is not a matter of volition. It is not something that responds to human desires. The desire and will to break out of it often only make it worse, as they compound frustration onto the hollow dissatisfaction you already feel

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buuuuurst

>>22268665
Are you me in the future, I hope you are.

I've kinda wanted to get into fencing for a long time, and I could really use a job after my last one just shut down one day because my boss was a con and stole all the money.

Entire thread has made me realize that yes, my gut instinct telling me to get into some kind of activity, gym, martial art, anything was right, I hate those days I can't be assed to get out of bed.

>>22257720

You can't do shit. You're not sad as such, it's important to note that. You're just not driven. That provokes a lot more emotions than 'sad'. You can end up angry a lot. Some days you can actually do a hell of an impressive impression of whatever you need to be - whatever gets you out of there the quickest.

You might seem happy, feel proud of yourself because you made it to the shops. You might decide you quite like doing nothing. You might decide it is hell. You will have lots of time to change your mind about that one, and your friends might notice you being all flip floppy.

Some days you're mad at yourself because you know what you are doing isn't right, and you can't stop doing it. It's not a case of giving no fucks, it's not being able to do it when you need to, and since you can't do the big things anymore, the little ones stop having a point.

Your bullshit capacity is all over the place, but mostly you'll accept a lot of it because you just want out of the situation/conflict asap.

You will spend a lot of time on things. Every case is different, but there's quite a few people who just can't get out of bed. It's not WHATS THE POINT, it's just your brains drawing a blank at what to do once youre up, and if it should commit at all. So it sticks to the default command of stay.