>>22301807
read the letter.

YES

>>22301855
You open the letter addressed to the manor.

>For whom it may concern, the Judicial Council of Stone Field request the presence of Sir Daniel Fortesque in regards to the incarceration of Rebecca Fortesque. Miss. Fortesque has been charged with unlicensed Adventuring and will need a legal parent or guardian to retrieve her from Stone Field jail and fill out the required forms.

>Yours faithfully, Mr. T. Hemp

What do you do?


http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22284457/
Previous thread.

>>22301949
Go rescue Rebecca. And see why we need a licence to do our thing.

>>22302085
You decide that you should probably go and help your niece. And also find out why you need a license to be an adventurer. It was pretty much open game back in your day.

What do you do?

>>22301949

Tee hee. Rebecca's in trouble!

Also reminince about the first time you got in trouble with the law.

>>22302156

Bring some bail money just incase. Also ask if her companions got arrested too.

>>22302192
The first time Daniel ever got in trouble with the law, was the same day he decided to be an adventurer.

Of course, like all boys, he'd just generally ignored the rules. But one day some ruffian had decided he wanted your sister.

You gave him a hospital bed. But, like most things, this had far reaching consequences. The boy was the only child of the law enforcement's own chief inspector, and somehow a large amount of illegal substances has appeared in your bedroom drawers.

You grabbed everything you could and ran, you didn't fancy doing the rope-two-step.

>>22302234
You grab a container of money from Erik's vault. You tell yourself you'll find out if her companions got arrested aswell.

What do you do?

>>22302156
See if anyone else would like to come along and get their licenses too. Too avoid future mishaps.

>>22302267
You ask your friends at the library impromptu breakfast table if they want to get a license.

>"Not an adventurer"
Comes from Erik, Stumbles and his lovely wife Meryl.

>"As an infernal creature, laws and legislation are my bread and butter. I've got a permit and license for everything."
Areal informs you from her grapefruit.

What do you do?

>>22302298
Depart for this Stone Field. bring our "intimidating" face.
Also, we're a skeleton; do we have different faces?

>>22302257

"Areal! Finish your pancakes and come with me on an adventure to obtain our adventurering liscense!

>>22302298
send a letter to the lads and spiderDan
inform them of this, see if they have had any trouble with this lark, or if its isolated to the region rebecca is in

>>22302317
You have the unnerving ability to wink. The ramifications of it are mind breaking.

>>22302322
>"No, like I said, I already have one."
Areal fishes out a little permit from her morning robes. It has identification and a sketch of her on it.

>>22302329
Utilizing your new writing skills you pen a letter to your lads and SpiderDan informing them of the licensing scheme. You don't know how long the letter'll take, as it's got to go north and over the mountains. And then it has to be delivered to them, and that strangely difficult in a war torn country.

You pack your things into various pockets and satchels on your midsection and depart for the road once more.

The morning is a good one, the sun shines bright and you can see a nice breeze shaking the trees.

On the way to the Main Cross road of the area you pass by other travelers.

At the cross roads there's a way station.

What do you do?

>>22302405
What's a way station?
This campaign needs more random encounters.

>>22302435
A way station is also known as a halfway house. A rest stop or refueling point.

As for the encounters, well, we've only just started.

>>22302435

Then lets run in the tall grass.

>>22302405
Ask for direction, and badger people about why there is a need for permits for everything.

>>22302452

Keep walking towards Stone Jail.

>>22302452
Ah. Well, go inside the way station and see who's there. Maybe go all "Avatar of Hydra" so we can sample the grub.
For a Champion of an Elder God, we're not very good at using our powers in meaningful ways.

>>22302405
Mingle with people at the way station. Ask for rumors or just see if anyone would like to see us dance.

>>22302454
You decide to frolic in the tall grass. You read flat out into the long grass and trip over an unseen root, smashing your face on the ground as you do so.

You stand up and look around, hoping no one saw that.

>>22302478
You leave the long grass and ask for directions to Stone Field. And why you need a permit.

>"Follow the rode a few days northeast. When the grass and scrub clears out you'll be there. As for the permits? Some bureaucrat up in there decided everything needs to be more closely monitored and regulated. You know, to run this place, I needed to get ten permits? Ten! Ridicules"

>>22302507
>>22302499
You assume your Champion form and request a platter of food to try. You're give a nice cheeseboard and meat selection. Pretty good, actually.

You ask about any rumors.

>"Rock quarry up at stone field got abandoned real quick, government wont talk about. Hundreds lost their jobs. Strange, if you ask me. All hush-hush like."
One patron tells you.

What do you do?

>>22302581
Head out to what is clearly a sidequest. Explore the Rock Quarry.

>>22302581
"A mysterious event that leaves people jobless? The government is hush-hush? THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF A WIZARD! Whose probably the mayor or something."

We should go check it out.

>>22302581

Spread rumours of our own.

"Did you hear about that Daniel guy? Apparently his true form is a real hot stud! He has 50 girlfriends and 10 boyfriends in every town!"

>>22302618
The rock quarry is up at Stone Field, that's how it got its name.

You leave the way station after paying for your food platter, and head out northeast to Stone Field.

The day drags on as you walk, and soon the sun sets. What was an ideal forest in the light now looks rather spooky at night.

You can hear laughter off ahead.

What do you do?

>>22302649
Follow the laughter. In fact dance to the laughter!

>>22302649

Run towards the laughter, it must be something hilarious!

>>22302649
Nothing like a reanimated skeleton to liven up a party. Go join them. We can even show them our moves.

>>22302649
We need to outspook them.

Dance to the laughter.

>>22302649
Investigate the laughter, and be quiet about it.

>>22302680
>>22302682
You do a running dance towards the laughter, must be something funny going on over there, and you don't want to be left out!

You can see a fire just to the side of the road now, and three shapes sitting around it.

Their voices seem oddly familiar.

You mambo up the road and to the edge of the light. You know why their voices seemed familiar now. It's the three beer pilgrims from long ago.

Their sitting on a cask each, constantly dipping down to fill their mugs and cups.

What do you do?

>>22302744
beer pilgrims?!
If we wait until midnight, can we use our champion form again? I wanna get plastered! We've earned it!

>>22302744
"You have summoned the great Sir Daniel with your excessive drinking...again!" We declare happily. "How goes it my alcohol monks?"

>>22302744
hail them
announce yourself
join them for a drink and chat
learn what that fine ales they have tasted

>>22302744
Walk right up to them and let the dancing commence.

>>22302744

Give the bard a noogie.
"Hows my favourite little music pal doing?"

Why aren't we getting our niece her license first, then going out for some family bonding. Meet interesting people, and kill them!

>>22302837

Sidequests are more important than bailing Rebecca out apparently. We met up with the beer party though so happy days!

>>22302767
It is past midnight and you can assume champion form once more. You do so.

>>22302773
>"Bloody hell! Never thought we'd see your boney mug again! Come along and have a seat, I'd offer you a drink, but well, you know."

You inform him of the gift your god bestowed.

>"Sounds like a nice deal, that. Lemme get you a drink."
The bard pours you a really strong spirit.
>>22302776
>"Well, you know that last time we met we were going to the birth place of beer, right? When we got there we had a religious experience, as it goes. We found our god, Ciderous, and we've been spreading the good word, and fine drink, ever since."

>>22302812
>"Please stop, that really hurts, with those gauntlets of yours..."

You stop.

You take a seat as the bard begins to play out their story in musical form. A lot of "friendly encounters" with barmaids in it.

When it's done you're pretty drunk, and find yourself sitting on your own cask, like the others.

What do you do?

>>22302908
Fill them in on the stuff we've done since our last meeting. Don't skimp on the PTSD.

>>22302908
DRINK SOME MORE.
We don't get to do this often, and when we do, it ends up hurting people. We're in the middle of nowhere and it's late and we can drink. DRINK.

>>22302908
Get into a drinking contest while we still can.

>>22302908

"Guys I'm a sad drunk. If I moan too much just tell me to shut up okay? Also my little niece is an adventurer and I'm so proud of her. I'm picking her up from jail first thing in the morning!"

>>22302908
Ask if they've heard about the rock quarry. Since they have a bard, he may know more.

We should also ask if they bother with permits.

>>22302955
>"Now that's a story! I'll have to work it into a song when I can. When we heard about those dead politicians and powerful men, Freddy there,"
He points to the black haired one.
>"Said it was you. But Ronnie and I didn't believe, we'd thought you'd disappeared."

"No, stuck in a time loop, uh, I'm afraid I don't know your name."

>"Lemmy. Pleased to know you better."

>>22302958
>>22302968
You, Lemmy, Ronnie and Freddy all stand and hobble over to an upturned barrel with 6 taps on it. Each of you fills a mug and puts it on the table.

Roll 4d10 for endurance. The first is yours, second is Ronnie, third Lemmy, and fourth Freddy.

You ask Freddy about the rock quarry before you begin.

>"Oh yeah, head about this. The dug something it up, and it thinks that the entire quarry is its nest, or den, or something. Attacks anyone who comes close. Can't even hurt the thing, or so I hear. Could be a gas pocket."

What do you do?

Rolled 5, 1, 3, 9 = 18

>>22303060
fuck yea beer is good beer is good n stuff

Rolled 8, 7, 6, 2 = 23

>>22303060
Rolling for constitution.

Rolled 3, 6, 3, 4 = 16

>>22303060
This quarry is getting more interesting the more I hear about it.

Also we should ask if they know of any wrongs that need righting.

>>22303113
You down your drink, along with Ronnie and Lemmy. Freddy is looking a bit woozy now.

"So what do you think about this licensing thing? Apparently they've arrested my niece for not having one."

>"Yeah, some governor with a hard on for filing cabinets put the idea forward, no one could be bothered to disagree, what with the quarry, and it got passed. Now EVERYTHING needs a permit or license. We just claimed religious persecution and left in the night, ain't that right lads?"
Ronnie slaps his empty mug on the table.

>"Oo-ar!"
The other two follow, it takes Freddy a few goes to hit the table.

>>22303176
>"Uuhh... Let me think... Apart from 400 unemployed men, and their starving families, I can't think of much around these parts. Then again we don't go looking for trouble like you."

4d10 for the next drinks.

What do you do?

Rolled 8, 5, 7, 8 = 28

>>22303230
Ask the about their religion. Have they managed to convert any people? We should also point them in the direction of our hometown if they're looking for a place to set up shop.

Rolled 7, 1, 3, 3 = 14

>>22303230
Rolling for Constitution a second time.

Rolled 8, 7, 2, 7 = 24

>>22303230
Drink the beer and muse on things we might need a licence for. We shoulda've asked our based lawyer on what- Nah. We'll just dance and fight until our licensing problems go away. Chuck and see who wins.

>>22303272
>>22303266
>>22303279
Once again, this round really hasn't affected you too much, you easily slap your mug down onto the barrel top. Ronnie has a bit more trouble, and Lemme misses and hits his head. Freddy eventually hits the mark.

>"Yeah, we pashed through Gallowbeer last year... We got a few of the patrons in Mort's, he didn't sheem to happy about it..."
Lemmy slurs out.

You take a moment to think about why you'd need a license, technically, you're not really an adventurer, as they work for the public good, or good intentioned private contractors. You've killed some prominent public figures, and the only reason the law has caught up is because you're always on the move, and have one or two friends in high places. The king of Kerm and Gerald, to name two.

4d10.

What do you do?

Rolled 7, 2, 3, 2 = 14

>>22303383
Rolling for constitution a third time, for the hell of it.

Rolled 9, 6, 7, 2 = 24

>>22303383
Bid them a good night and head off into the night. There's adventuring to be done.

Rolled 2, 2, 1, 10 = 15

>>22303383
There maybe was some girl to be rescued. Maybe family. Might need to check on that.

Drink more.

>>22303383

"Meeybe I need to get an assasssss...in lisens becuz I kill people. Why am I killing people? I thought I only killed bad people but I don't know..."

>>22303397
>>22303414
You drain the final drink of the night, and put the mug on the barrel top. The three beer pilgrims pass out infront of you one by on.

>"Oh... And watch out for bounty hunters... Loads of the buggers in these woods looking for unlicensed individuals."
Is all Ronnie can manage before he sits down and nods off for the night.

>>22303447
You decide on one more for the road, and then get Rebecca, yeah, totally, do that.

You wander off along the path, blind drunk, singing bits of the song Freddy was playing earlier.

Ah, the joys of Champion form and all its fleshy goodness. No downsides at al-

>"License and permit, please, sir."
A voice from behind requests.

"wha-huh?"

>"Right, I'll take that as a no then."

Roll 1d20.

Rolled 1

>>22303480
rolling for not drunkenly collapsing on the ground!

Rolled 13

>>22303480
"I'm not an adventurer. I am Hero, and I don't need no damn permit!"

Rolled 14

>>22303480

"Where do I sign up for my licsence good sir?"

Also vomit on him.

Rolled 15

>>22303499
Well...

This was all in the plan, because drunken hero fighting style. Of elder gods.

We can come up with fighting styles on the spot, right? Hammer them from the ground up.

>>22303499
"Wanna go then, eh, friend"

You move forward, fists raised. You trip over your own legs and land on the person the voice came from.

You vomit before passing out.
The last thing you hear is
>"Oh Lords, get him off me, he's gotten sick on me! Haul him into the wagon."

You wake up, no longer in champion form, chained wrist and ankle in the back of a wagon with iron bars all around. Thank Hydra you've got no brain, or you'd have the mother of all hangovers, like the beer pilgrims are having.

What do you do?

>>22303499
...oops.

>>22303546
Start bemoaning our lot in life until someone reacts, and then break the chains and walk out.

>>22303546
>>22303571
Actually, they could drop us off where our cute little girl is. They're bound to know where she is and we could have a chat in the meantime.

>>22303546

Sweet, they'll take us straight to jail! Let's pretend to still be drunk.

"Urgh... my head is killing me... What happened last night?"

>>22303571
You start to moan about how you didn't do anything to deserve this.
>"Oh shut up, I'm not even an adventurer, my uncle says 'John, go fetch me some groceries' so off I go, then bam, truncheon to the head and back of the wagon. You atleast look the part."
You turn your head and look down at a young man, maybe 14 at best. He's got a big lump on the back of his head.

>>22303595
"Licensing problems?"

>"Oh yeah, everyone who does anything needs a stupid bloody permit these days."
The boy looks strait ahead.

You feel something whack you back.

>"Shut it! Law breakers don't get to make conversation!"
One of the guards yells at you.

What do you do?

>>22303673
break the shackles, but remain in place. This could be interesting.

>>22303684
You quickly move your wrists apart, snapping the small chain. The boy looks at you in astonishment.

You raise your finger to imaginary lips. He nods in understanding.

What do you do?

>>22303684
Continue chat. Fuck da police.

Oh boy, this is too fun.

Have a riveting discussion with this young gentleman of poor luck.

Rolled 4

>>22303713
Next time the driver comes by, wink at him.
Rolling for SAN loss on the driver.

>>22303713
As soon as they say tell us to get out of the wagon, we calmly walk out grab the person who said it and have them direct us to their boss.

We kinda need to get the girl out, right?

Right, guys?

Let's just get to the jail, get our sweet lil'adventurer out and head back home and/or give her a stern lecture how things should go.

>>22303765
It's clear that these jerks are corrupt, and who better to correct their ways than us?

>>22303765
They can wait, we should stop her from getting herself into even more trouble first.

>>22303717
"So, why is this permit issue even a thing?"

>"Some uppity nobleman read some old text on how everything should be ordered and regulated, got worse from there. Now everything needs one, and it brings in a lot of money for the government here, it costs 25 chunks to get one, that's like a week's pay."

You shake your head.

>"I said, shut it!"
The guard comes along again.

You turn, lift your visor and wink at him.

>"Hang on, wait, no, what?"
The man shakes his head and takes a moment to process what just happened to him. When he comes around he wont look at you directly.

The wagon drives on throughout the day, and you and the lad keep chatting.

Eventually the scrub and grass falter, and it's all flat farmland as far as you can see.

Soon enough you come to a T-junction. One way leads to the city of Stone Field, the other to the rock quarry. The rock quarry sign has a freshly painted skull and crossbones.

You're driven to the city of Stone Field, and into the city square.

There's shops in every direction, and townsfolk are coming out to see the scum get what they deserve. Meaning you.

What do you do?

>>22303856
Might as well get up and stretch, thank the guard for the lift. Wink at him again.

>>22303856
These guys aren't even going to give us a trial?

Grab the nearest guy and make him take us to their base of operations. There are some heated words to be said to their boss.

>>22303856
Ask where we can solve this, go there and solve this.

>>22303895
When you're herded off the wagon and into the street you stretch, shake one of the guard's hands, take your hammer and begin to walk away.

You feel an arrow ping through your breast plate and come out the other side. You pull it out and drop it on the ground.

The guard, undeterred, says
>"I don't think so, you're to go before the Judicial Counsel and be sentenced for your crimes!"

There's a clink and another, much large, set of manacles attached to your wrist. You follow the chain and find it leads to the guard's wrist. He's giving you a rather stern look.

What do you do?

>>22303985
Well, too much bloodshed might be a bad idea, might as well go with him

>>22304034
We can always wink or dance.

>>22303985
We should let them hang us. Might be fun.

>>22303985
Glare at him and follow where ever he's leading us.

>>22303985
Look at him blanky and inquire as to just how he intends to make us do much of anything, being undead and insanely strong as we are.
Then go along with it before he can respond.

>>22304053
That might be fun. The Hangman's Jig is one of the ones we haven't danced yet anyway.

>>22303985

Keep walking to the mayor's place. The guard will either walk or be dragged.

>>22304060
I think he doesn't realize we're undead yet. Let's use that to scare the hell out of them.

>>22304053
We were taken while in fleshy form, right? We should complain about them letting us starve to death already.

>>22304034
You decide against brutally murdering the main in the city center.

>>22304060
>"Well... Well, well with the power of the law, of course!"
The man shows you his badge. It's made of cardboard and copper stars.

"Fair enough."

>"Erm?"

You're led to the city jails along with the other people from the wagon. They take you to the police station and down underground.

A cell door is opened and you're flung in, after the manacle is removed.

You look across from you and you can see one of Rebecca's groups, Amber, scrawling on the wall with a rock.

What do you do?

>>22304053
>>22304077
>>22304090
All are excellent ideas.

If Rebecca sees us, all the better. We can even chime in and say we came to help her as her legal guardian!

>>22304105
Inquire after amber. Politely. Then frame the guards for starving us. Or ask to see the mayor about getting an adventurer's license.

>>22304105
Greet her, ask about Rebecca, try not to be an idiot about their alternative lifestyle, fail.

>>22304133
We can hardly claim starvation after being held for all of an hour, man. That's just silly.

Anwyay, great Amber cheerfully, ask how everybody's doing. Maybe chat about the weather a bit, casual-like.

>>22304105
Forcefully open the door and head out to explore the place.

>>22304161
No, not yet. Let's see what's going on before we go hulk mode on the place.

File: 1356908891730.gif-(1.45 MB, 320x240, 1356850102823.gif)

>>22304135

>alternative lifestyle
>mfw

>>22304105

"How's my little Becca girl! Slain any baddies yet? And is your girlfriend treating you right?"

>>22304159
Obviously we can claim starvation. Their wile and prudish attitude have drained all the colour from our skin.

>>22304133
>>22304135
You whistle, somehow, at Amber.
"Hey, Amber, where's Rebecca? I've come to help."

Amber looks up, and you can see a sudden ray of hope in her eyes.

>"Well, Mr. Fortesque, she's on trial for assault right now."

"I thought it was about the whole license thing?"

>"That's tomorrow, she broke one of the guard's arms the day. He said he'd give her more food if he could, and I pardon the expression, 'cop a feel'. He put his hands between the bars and she just pushed them in the wrong directions."

"That's my niece..."

>>22304161
"Well, I better go give her a hand."

>"Whoa, no, if you break out they'll beat us all! Just to break our spirit. You'll probably be called up later."


What do you do?

>>22304183
That's the idea.

>>22304195
"So, the guards been beating and groping, have they? Oh boy, this ought to be fun. Should I save one or two for you, or are you good with watching."

>>22304195
Wait for our turn, be all miserable and dead. Claim horrible jailing conditions for your death when they ask for you.

>>22304195
All my plans involve fire, jailbreaks, or beating up the guards. I got nothing.

Rolled 2, 3, 8, 3 = 16

>>22304195
you probable know a bit about this city how many live here?

how many in the country?

>>22304195
Well now, that we're getting rid of this system is a given then.

Lets wait until they bring us in front of the big wigs, but if they harm Rebecca we're leveling the place.

>>22304239
>"Just the one guard, actually. The rest have this sense of pride in their work, they believe they're doing the right thing."

>>22304246
You take off your helmet and lie down on the bed. A passing guard has to do a double take when he sees you.

>"Bugger me, we've got poor conditions..."
He shakes his head and walks off.

Ah, apathy, is there anything so dangerous?

>>22304247
>>22304268
You put your helmet back on and ask your questions.

>"In the city? 30,000. In the surrounding country side? Another 50,000."

A guard from the end of the cells calls out.

>"Looking for a Daniel? Needed as a witness."

"That's me!"
You cry out.

You give Amber a thumbs up as you're led out of the jail and into a court house.

What do you do?

>>22304302
I take offence to that idea.
"Leveling" implies there won't be a crater.

But we'll save it for after we get some info from the horses mouth, as it were.

Rolled 2, 2, 6, 10 = 20

>>22304331


only 50k Ibet we could kill that

>>22304331
Wait and see how the handle themselves, hopefully they haven't let the power get to their heads.

>>22304331
Just go with the flow man. We'll get to see our niece.

>>22304331
Walk silently for now. Exude menace and the stillness of the grave to set the tone for the inevitable reveal and just smitings..

>>22304369
Eh, we're the dancing winking menace, cold rage doesn't really fit us.

Unless we're gonna decompress some sad sod's soul that is.

>>22304356
I'm afraid I don't understand what you just said.

>>22304369
>>22304366
>>22304360
You're led into the stalls and told to sit. You can see Rebecca up and the stand, you give her a nod.

>"And so, Miss. Fortesque, you broke a man's arms for a simple request?"
The prosecutor inquires.

>"Just Rebecca, thank you. And yes, I snapped them like twigs because of that request. A man should have manners, even if they're poor."

There's a murmur of agreement from the women in the room.

The main judge bangs his gavel.
>"Alright, alright. I see Sir Daniel, the defendant's uncle and guardian has entered?"

You nod.

>"I don't need to remind you this is a court of law and the truth is required? Good. Now, would you say the defendant is prone to anger issues?"

What do you do?

>>22304409
>cold rage doesn't fit us
Except whenever shit looks longingly at the fan and imagines slaming itself all over those slutty blades, that is. Which, in this case, it looks like it might.
Metaphorically.

>>22304430
"Not at all. She is actually against violence. Hell she even berated me when I killed a monster."

>>22304430
"No, mearly staunch in her beleifs and intolerent of those who conduct themselves loughtishly."

>>22304430
"no sir, she isn't prone to unjustified violence, or violence for that matter."

>>22304430
"She, angry? Only when things go against good principals.

She's more of sarcastic little girl in my eyes."

>>22304430

"Oh aye. She keeps going on and on... "Uncle, murder is wrong" "Uncle, stop getting drunk at parties" "Uncle, blah blah blah"!

>>22304463
>"Hmm... Then what is she doing guarding a caravan? I got the impression that was an adventurer's job? And they generally are pretty violent."

>>22304484
>"Much better description. Intolerant... yes, get that written down."

You feel Rebecca glaring at you from the stand.

>"Uncle..."
Comes from her gritted teeth."

>>22304511
>>22304510
>"Ah, a rebellious and forward thinking one, eh? Kids these days."

>>22304522
>"Well, murder IS wrong, actually. Defense and combat are exceptions."

This isn't going well.

What do you do?

>>22304567
"OBJECTION" Then decompress the judge. They're obviously trying to convict her, no matter what we say.

>>22304567
Wait for the next question.

>>22304567
Inquire just why they made note of intorerence towards such behaivors. Surely they don't mean to imply that such deplorable actions are to be condoned?

Rolled 81

>>22304567
I call a surprise witness. The Hydra.

>>22304567
what I meant
>>22304356
is if there are 50,000 people I bet we could kill that many if need be right?

>>22304567
"I would hardly consider defending herself against unwanted molestation indicative of anger issues.

This is obviously a farce to convict my dear Niece, I object quite seriously to this and am willing to back up my objection, with the power of dance."

>>22304593
Not quite yet.

>>22304593
The defense would like to withdraw his action and switch to >>22304599

>>22304567

Do we still have our seigebow? If so pew pew the judge.

>>22304567

Fuck this shit.
Tell them that this is a preposterous conviction.
It's obviously a violation of conduct for the guard to bribe a prisoner, insert appendages through the bars in an unwarranted manner, and of course to make a pass or attempted seduction on an inmate. Guard to inmate intimacy is the height of depravity in officer decorum, surely the court is aware.
If anything a fine should be paid by the guard in question and he fired, and the legal fees of your niece covered in full by the court for this ludicrous bologna.

>>22304633
This. Bring the Funk.

>>22304665
Hey, I thought there was something fishy! So that's what it was.

Guards shouldn't try to cop a feel from inmates because they are in a position of power over them.

That's the fucking lightbulb!

>>22304599
>"Now, Sir Daniel, I do hope you provide a good role model for the girl?"

"Of course..."

>"Then tell me, why have I got several warrants for your arrest. And a list of charges several yards long, without repeats?"

"Well..."

>>22304612
>"The guards are allowed certain... Perks... for doing the business no one else wants to do. Like looking after scum. One or two little incidents are acceptable. But breaking the arms of the captain is not."

>>22304665
>"No, your niece is a criminal, and thus gave up her rights as an upstanding member of society when she broke the law. She was going to get a fine and some community repayment, but this outburst of aggression and brutal violence will require something... More. Such as a flogging in the city square, perhaps."

Rebecca's anger turns to fear at the mention of a flogging.

What do you do?

>>22304567
wait for more questions smile?

>>22304711
Because were a fucking skeleton,

WERE ABOVE THE LAW

>>22304711
NOW we>>22304593

>>22304711
....did he just imply that the guards have the right to force themselves on prisoners?

Bring the hammer down. And by that I mean drown that fucker.

>>22304711
Demand trial by combat, to first blood.

>>22304711
It's time for societal reform via explosive decompression.

Rolled 3

>>22304711
AW HEYELL NAW.
DROWN THAT MUTHAFUCKA.

File: 1356910874045.jpg-(822 KB, 878x1200, Les-Miserables-Javert.jpg)

>>22304727
No sir,
I AM THE LAW.

>>22304711
that would be a most unwise course of action for an action of self defence, and for a travelling occupation such as adventuring, news travels surprisingly slow, perhaps maybe spreading the word of each law, before immediately arresting and punishing so people can adhere to it would be a better course of action

Rolled 6

>>22304730
>>22304731
>>22304741
>>22304748
Make it sound like we're sentencing the judge to death by the power vested in us by the ELDER GOD OF THE DEEP.
"On charges of corruption, by the power of Hydra, YOU ARE SENTENCED TO DEATH."

>>22304711
"You know who I am, you know that I make a hobby out of killing powerful mages, you know that I care deeply for my niece. And now you're threatening to have her flogged in public for resisting the advances of a guard. You must be stupid or insane. No able minded man would ever willingly put themselves on my bad side.

I suggest you reverse your decision or I shall reverse it and your entire legal system for you."

>>22304711

Tell them to release her at once or you're going to flog the whole building. Flog it until it is naught but rubble.
This is absurd, they seek conviction at all cost.

Also, move to sue the court. Sure the whole court, get Erik to be your layer or Areal.
TIME FOR SKELETIN KEWST: THE COURT CASENING

>>22304711
"Oh, so you and your men are above the law, by enforcing it?
This trial is a farce, in no small part because her inital imprisenment was under false pretences and bad faith. Your reach has exceded your grasp, and I will not allow this injustuce to continue. Whether our release is peacefull, I leave to you, but I will not be denied in this."
Remove helmet for emphasis.

>>22304711

We should keep Rebecca safe first. Lets knock out her surrounding guards and break her bindings. Then it'll be Judge Drown Time.

>>22304711
Did he just say that they have an institution that can put people under abuse without any protection by the people that abuse them?

Fuck the police in this case.

We're excellent rolemodel and that list can burn in hell. We can personally take it, do the walk and ask for a lighter from a demon if need be.

>>22304780
This. We have the moral high ground here, let's flaunt it.

Rolled 8

>>22304711
apologizes words are difficult for me the best way for me to witness would be to .....
DANCE

>>22304727
>"No, Sir Daniel, I am the law. And you will answer to it."

>>22304752
>>22304748
>>22304741
>>22304731
>>22304730
You break your chains with relative ease and stand up. The wall of guards that try to stop you are moved aside like leaves before you.

Before you can end the judge you hear Rebecca's voice.

>"Uncle! Don't go on a murder spree in here, I do not want to answer for this in every town or city I got to! Just let them flog me, it's only a cut."

>>22304806
>>22304804
>>22304794
>>22304780
>>22304777
>>22304774
>>22304772
>>22304765
Do you ignore Rebecca and perform a grisly social reform?

>>22304822
Social Reform. All unjust institutions should be torn down.

>>22304837
Roll 1d100

>>22304822
Nope. Principles are there because people are willing to stand up for them.

If she lets injustice win over her here, then she will answer for it to herself for the rest of her life.

>>22304822
grab the judge, hold him up like he weighs nothing. "think very carefully about your next words. what is your sentencing?"

Rolled 90

>>22304844

Rolled 45

>>22304822
One person does not a murder spree make. DECOMPRESS THE JUDGE.

Rolled 66

>>22304844
Fuck da police, man.

>>22304822
Make sure that Rebeeca is not associated with this. Loudly declare our name, and why we are doing this.

>>22304822
No no no, we merely make it clear that we're leaving no matter what they have to say. If anyone is getting hurt, they'll be throwing the first punch, and we'll respond in kind. We can just walk right through anyone who gets in our way.

>>22304822
Eh, lets go non-lethal
pick up rabecca and get the fuck outta there and make our way to the prison to break everyone else out

after that we'll head to the quarry to see what eldergod bullshit is happening in there

Rolled 97

>>22304844
LEEEEEROOOOYYYY

Rolled 20

>>22304844

>>22304822

We won't kill them, but we are NOT letting her be punished.
JUSTICE MUST BE DONE.
We move to sue the bastards, get a lawyer, and begin an extensive court case on behalf of her and ourselves.
I'm ready for skeleton court case.

>>22304861
I don't think Decompressing is in order.

We're on kind of a moral high ground here. "Kill all your problems away" doesn't work for our niece, though.

>>22304822
Don't explode him. "Very well Rebecca, I'll be nice even though they don't deserve it."

Grab him by the throat, lift him off the ground.

"My Niece's kindness has saved you. She is to be released and charges against her and her party dropped. You are to reform your guards and not allow them these abuses of power. You are to allow adventuring without a licence. Thus I have spoken, and thus it shall be."

>>22304837
All unjust institutions should be torn down.say only this

>>22304871
This this this. The judge isn't the one who made these laws, right? Save the murderizing for the noble who did.

>>22304874
>>22304857
Looks like we are doing what we do best, then.

>>22304895
Nope, fuck the dice.

>>22304822

New plan. Grab Rebecca and sling her over her shoulder.

"I'm kidnapping her against her will!"

Then run to the jail cells to bust the other guys out, only use non leathal strikes on any guards.

Also whisper to Rebecca, "Play along, I'll break you all out."

Rolled 29

>>22304894
Actually I'd again like to withdraw my murderhobo-ing in favor of enlightened action.

>>22304822
Don't blow him up, solve this peaceably, and reform these laws and this institution with threats that we'll come back if we hear anything about anything like this again.

>>22304822
Listen Mr. Judge!
I would gladly have allowed a flogging of my dear niece if that was what she deserved, however I will not allow this farce to continue!

and then show them the dance of death

>>22304921
Actually, this is brilliant plan.

And then threaten with murderhobo the guys who made the laws.

>>22304921
Changing my vote. Do this.

>>22304921
Fucking perfect. Do it.

>>22304921
for the love of hydra do this

>>22304857
>>22304874
You get close, close enough to see the judge pressing back against his seat. You can see the sweat beading down his forehead.

>>22304930
>>22304894
>>22304893
>>22304885
>>22304883
>>22304882
>>22304873
>>22304871
>>22304869
>>22304853
>>22304850
You point your finger at the judge. He flinches.
"You're lucky. So very lucky. There's one reason you're not a puddle of gore on the ceiling right now, and she's on trial. I wont be having this. If you want to fuck people with the law, I'll bring the law, and I know someone whose existence is based on it."

To the general space you say
"Areal, I know you've got that betting board, so you're watching. Get your ass over here and throw the book at him!"

1d6 for response.

Rolled 5

>>22304982

Rolled 4

>>22304982

Rolled 5

>>22304982

Rolled 2

>>22304982

Rolled 4

>>22304982
Awww, we were too late with the plan.

But here goes.

Rolled 1

>>22304982
C'mon, you demon whore, help us out here...

Rolled 4

>>22304982
What a tweest.

>>22305009
you susshhhhhh

>>22304989
>>22304992
>>22304993
The door at the back of the room opens and a man with red skin in a bespoke suit enters. He walks up to you and shakes you hand.

>"Infernal machinations legal division. I've been sent to deal with this on your behalf. Leave it to me."

The demon lays his brief case on the table and pulls out an extreamly thick book of laws and legislation for the town's last 1000 years.

He smiles his wicked smile then turns to you.

>"You wont be needed, feel free to leave."

>>22304921
You grab Rebecca and tell the people you're kidnapping her. They can try and stop you. But the demon lawyer is already bombarding them with amendments and bylaws. They've already got a glassed over look in their eyes.

You leave quickly, and lock the door behind you.

What do you do?

>>22304982
say please

Rolled 4

>>22305011
>>22305009
>>22304997
>>22304996
>>22304993
>>22304992
>>22304989
Averages to 3.57, rounds to 4. 4 was storyman's favorite number right?

>>22305058
Hug rebecca. Because we are a good uncle.

>>22305072
>rolls 4
Well that was interesting.

>>22305075
Seconded.
First time we've ever solved a serious problem without murder.

>>22305058
Give her a once-over to make sure she's ok, then head down to look after Amber and the others, of course.

>>22305105
After hugging her, of course.

>>22305094
I think we should solve more problems with the Infernal machinations legal division.

>>22305094
there is a first time for everything, wonderful really.

Check up on her companions as well. Dance to honor the hydra.

>>22305094

Thirded.

>>22305075
>>22305094
>>22305105
>>22305115
You hug Rebecca, lifting her into the air. Then you grab her underarms and put her in front of you, her feet still dangling off the floor and give her the once over.

"Looks in order..."

>"Put me down. Now."

"Gotcha."

You put Rebecca on the ground, she straightens herself up.

"Alright, let's go get your girlfriend."

You and Rebecca go down into the jail cells and release Amber.

"I though you had more with you?"

>"Yes, he caught religion and left to become a paladin last week. I think they clamped Gearfree..."

The idea of Gearfree with a big yellow clamp on his foot is very amusing indeed.

You, Rebecca and Amber leave the cells and return to the street level.

What do you do?

>>22305226
Get the gearhead, of course.

>>22305058

Ponder why Areal looks like a man.

I know that isn't Areal but I see Sir Dan as a bit of an idiot so hush.

>>22305238
Eeyup.

>>22305238
This. Ask him if he was ticketed for illegal parking.

>>22305226
Find Gearfree and bust him out.

And tell Rebecca "I'm glad I didn't have to kill anyone to save you, I know that it would have upset you."

>>22305243
Too bad he's not that!
For he is a MURDER HOBO EXTRAORDINAIRE.
Servant, guard, wizard reducer, harasser, Champion of Hydra, uncle and undead to boot!
This is the tale of the Dancing Knight!
That of Ser Daniel Fortesque!

>>22305238
>>22305248
"Right, I'll got get him."

You look around for Gearfree, it's hard to miss an 8 foot tall warforged.

You find him standing by a fountain, looking at the fish.

"Gearfree, I've come to rescue you."

>"Have you paid the fee for my release?"

"...Yes."

>"Very well."

Gearfree reaches down and tears the clamp off of his leg.

>>22305285
>"It would have deeply upset me, Uncle. I don't really want to see you carving a warpath in a courtroom full of old men."

>>22305243
>"Uncle, that wasn't Areal. It was just some demon guy."

"Now now, dear, I think I know my own house guests."

Rebecca shakes her head and sighs.

What do you do?

>>22305341
"That's why I didn't do it. But you know I would happily kill a great number of people to keep you safe and unharmed.

I'm not very good at showing my love.

So, Amber, how has adventuring been?"

>>22305341
Invite them to worship the Hydra, or come with us to explore the Stone quarry.

>>22305341
Make sure we've recovered everyone's gear and everyone's set to go, then leave before anyone has a chance to question us.

>>22305371
>"Err, fairly well, actually. Not many adventurers come this way for obvious reasons. So we got some good pay. Nice scenery, too."

>>22305375
>"I'm not worshiping the monster's God, no offence Uncle and Gearfree, but really."
Rebecca says.

You turn to Amber, but before you can press her into it she says
>"Sorry, no, my family have their own God."

Ah well, you've still got Gearfree.

"Stone Quarry?"

>"No, we're gonna go home now. Enough excitement for one week. See you there, Uncle. Try not to kill to many things."

Rebecca and her companions take their leave.

What do you do?

>>22305451
IIIIIIIIT'S MURDER TIME!
To the quarry!

>>22305451
What, no happy family MURDER TIME?

Awww...

>>22305451
Time head to the quarry and kill whatever needs to be killed.

>>22305451
To the Quarry, we need to work out our murder boner.

>>22305451
go the stone quarry seems to be a good choice. How are the town doing?

>>22305464
>>22305490
>>22305492
>>22305499
You check all of your equipment. All there, good. It's time for work.

You leave the town and return to the T-junction, and continue on towards the stone Quarry.

There's a little guard station in the middle of the road that stops your path.

>>22305505
The town is doing pretty well, apart from the poor men and women in the court room, having to listen to the demon lawyer prattle on about 1,000 years worth of law.

What do you do?

>>22305537
Stop by the guard station, see if they know anything more about the danger in the Quarry.

>>22305537
Ask the people at the guard station about what they know. We need to know what we're getting in to.

>>22305549
>>22305556
You knock on the door and wait for a guard.

A man in blue overalls with a tin cup of soup steps out and eyes you up.

>"Can I help you?"

"Here to deal with your Quarry problem, if it's a creature or monster."

>"Good look with that, there's a rock troll down there, it's been having a tantrum for a month now. Seems like it's looking for something. Anyone that goes near gets killed, messily."

The man slurps his soup.

>"Don't suppose I can stop you?"

"Not really."

>"Ah well. Carry on a few hundred yards, and the road down will take you into the quarry."

What do you do?

>>22305537

"So Gearfree, what'd you get busted for? Are you a bad boy? Chicks dig bad boys!"

Elbow him and wink.

>>22305592
Can we decompress a rock troll...?

>>22305607
No. Too dense, it's used to the great pressures you exert.

>>22305592
"Thanks. I'll deal with the troll. Have a nice day."

Head towards the quarry, whistle.

>>22305592
Take whatever supplies is in the complex and head down to the quarry to kick ass.

>>22305592
Calmly walk up to the troll and ask it what it's looking for. Naturally while dodging the rocks it will toss at us.

>>22305592

Do trolls speak our language? Maybe we can help it, plus we are sturdier than the average man so we can take it's punishment while we diplomacy it.

>>22305607
I don't think so. Might confuse the hell out of him though.
That said, we do have a hammer, which is about as good a weapon against stone as you can get. Fighting might not be a good first choice, though.

Ask the guard just what it might be looking for.

>>22305592
We offer to help find his thing.

>>22305628
>"Good luck with that..."
The man goes back inside and begins making another coffin.

>>22305636
You make your way along and down to the quarry, sure enough there's a rock troll throwing huge chunks of granite around like nothing.

You can hear it howling, or shouting. You can't be sure.

>>22305664
"'Scuse me, I couldn't help over hear. What seems to be the prob-"

You're hit by a chunk of granite the size of a small child. The troll howls and goes back to searching.

What do you do?

>>22305691
Ask it what it's looking for. be loud and direct.

>>22305691
Stand up, try again. This time shout though.

>>22305691
Keep on heading towards there, he's probably looking for something and trying to dig.

Dodge any incoming chunks of granite, keep on asking if he needs help, and once we get there start helping him dig.

>>22305691
Toss the chunk back at it with more force. We need it to pay attention.

>>22305691
Circle around him to confuse the troll, and try to lead him away from large rocks.

>>22305720
>>22305721
You stand up and ask again, this time louder, and dodge the rocks.

"What. Are. You. Looking. For?"
You yell at it.

The response is rather louder and a bit more guttural.

All you can make out is "Nest." "Eggs." "Den.".

What do you do?

>>22305765
DO. YOU. WANT. ME. TO. HELP. YOU?!

>>22305765
Ah fuck its a momma troll. Ask Erik what rock troll nests look like.

>>22305765

May. I. Help. You?

>>22305765
Look around for anywhere that looks like a recent cave-in or landslip, something that might have burried her eggs.
Failing that, go ask the guard if they'd dug up and removed anything of the soft before this cropped up.

>>22305792
>>22305798
You have to duck under another volley of granite.

You guess the roar stands for the same thing as last time.

>>22305793
>"Usually their skin matches their surroundings, a kind of camouflage. The eggs would look like smooth rocks, basically."

What do you do?

>>22305765
Yell out "How. Big?"

>>22305828
is there any simple spell that can show up life signs or heat signatures? something we can use to narrow the search

>>22305828
Look for the smooth rocks.
>>22305845
Don't think we can cast.

>>22305828
Go back to the guard and ask where the stones that are quarried are taken.

>>22305852
forgot that
>>22305860
clever

>>22305827
This. If they were in plain view she would have seen them.

Rolled 73

>>22305828
rolling for egg findage. If d20, divide by 5.

>>22305845
Daniels is unable to perform magic of any kind. He relies on miracles and divine intervention.

>>22305852
You look around for smooth rocks, unfortunately, being in a quarry means you're surrounded by rocks.

>>22305860
You leave and return to the guard and ask him about the rocks.

>"Well, generally we smash 'em down for the roads, or buildings. Some times we carve the flat ones into work surfaces. Real durable stuff. They're taken all over Stone Field, but big smooth ones? Probably bought out by some noble or rich guy as a lawn ornament."

What do you do?

>>22305920
Head back into town and ask around to see if any nobles have decided their lawns needs large sculptures.

Rolled 51

>>22305920
GODDAMMIT THE RICH GUYS HAVE THE EGGS.
I say we wait until they hatch, then go around asking for baby rock trolls.
Shut up, it'll work.

>>22305950
This. Look for servant types.

>>22305953
They want the rocks for sculptures, waiting is not a good idea.

>>22305920
I don't suppose there's a list of clients or export addresses lying around and free to access?

>>22305920

>Generally we just smash'em

Shiiiit... I'm so glad there was more to that sentence, my heart skipped a beat there!

"Know any recent buyers? They may have purchased that momma troll's babies."

>>22305920
call rebecca on her conch, tell her the story, this is about helping a mother and babies, she wouldn't be able to resist helping us

>>22305989
for the search of the rich folk stones that is

>>22305950
You return to town and ask about any nobles that wanted large sculptures. You're met with a laugh and pretty much everyone saying
>"Oh, you know those rich folk, always squandering on what's not needed."

But eventually you find a man who seems a little bit more helpful.

>"Ah, yes, Master Baker has recently acquired three new lawn ornaments, perfectly carved Faberge eggs. Most beautiful, if I do say so, they seem almost alive in the right light."

What do you do?

>>22305986
Say this. Wait for his Oh Shit face.

>>22305996
go to his house, tell him the situation, and if he doesnt give us the eggs now, well, the momma will find them eventually, and she wont be happy

>>22305996
Go and pick up baby trollen.