But before that, you should probably finish getting all the information you can out of Izaya, the aforementioned matriarch. Then, with all the exposition and "inteliigence-gathering" (or whatever the General calls it) out of the way, you can get back to what matters most:

Drinking, stealing military equipment, drinking, hitting on every monstergirl in sight, drinking, drinking, plotting your inevitable rise to power, drinking, hallucinating, drinking, and drinking.

Questions first, though.

>What do?

[ ] [ask about non-human presence in human lands]

[ ] [ask about sea travel]

[ ] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]

[ ] [moonwalk out and start the tank]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 9

[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [ask about non-human presence in human lands]
[x] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]
[x] [imbibe liquor]

fox girl booze? sort of like drinking booze off foxgirls? or fox girl made booze? perhaps both.

>>22417719

general concensus from the last thread was to;

[ask about non-human presence in human lands] - for LIBERATION!!!
[ask about sea travel] - something about a attack boat seeing off any of Lord Douchewaffle & Co.s ships...
[inquire about Izaya's willingness to be the regent of WhatOnceWasLordDouchewaffle'sLandsButAreNowLincolns or The First Realm of Hobotopia!
[imbibe liquor]
[ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]
then finally;
[moonwalk out and start the tank]

>>22417856
>
[ask about non-human presence in human lands] - for LIBERATION!!!
now I can't help but think: "FOR LA LIBERTAD!"
couldn't say why.
other than that seem like a good consensus.
oh.wait.
you didn't ask about the booze first...
SHAME ON YOU!

>>22418012

to be honest, this WAS the concensus. based on the orders suggested and the votes behind them, this is the order they exist in. of course, this was created using the alternative voting system...

>>22418056
We have an alternate voting system? I didn't even thing we had a REGULAR voting system.

>>22418113

it was not designed for this quest. i have re-purposed it.

link to what it is;
http://www.electoral-reform.org.uk/alternative-vote/

and why yes, I am a Britfag...

>>22418113
>>22418056

same question here I'm shocked to ear we have one.

>>22418282
you dirty dirty British...I will kill you with my baguette!

>>22418474
>>22418282
How many different nationalities do we HAVE reading this quest!?

>>22418507
hundreds?

>>22418474

To quote Lord Nelson; "An Englishman must treat those who insult his King as an enemy, and any Frenchman as the devil himself" So begone with you devil! Mine is the Longbow that will pierce your Baguette!


>>22418507

more than exist in this plane of existence...

>>22418507
I actually am a BR.

>>22418569
you cannot defeat my red wine you fiend! en guarde!

"Soooooo, colloquial things. Things that make sense. So I'm guessing you don't want to hear about the size of mah----"

"I've already gotten a good look at that, if you remember." The inari smirks, shutting down your banter before you can finish. "Though I do suppose you have something to brag about."

"DAMN RIGHT I DO."

"I believe you were going to ask me a question, Lincoln?" Izaya points out, lazing back in her seat again.

"Question? Oh, right, question. Well, about what you said before....about the non-humans living in the human kingdoms....? What's up with that? Do they need some good old fashioned HOBO LIBERATION!? Followed by good old-fashioned HOBO THANK-YOU SEX!?" You try to keep from looking overly eager. You fail miserably.

Your eager face falls, however, when Izaya's twists into a dark grimace.

"Not all non-humans live in their own separate lands. There are those who chose.....'co-existence.' But those words are hollow; non-humans are treated as second class citizens in human lands. What they term 'co-existence' is really just submitting to the fear and hopelessness that the endless wars bring."

Her eyes darken with disgust as she continues. "The only way to survive in human lands is to stay out of the way and find some job where they pay to exploit you. The werebats are one of the prime examples of this, though their situation is probably at least somewhat tolerable. The centaurs are probably the worst."

You snort a bit at this, stifling a laugh. "CENTAURS!? Are you serious? Aren't they supposed to be like the hoitiest of the toitiest? 'Honor and dignity' and all that jazz? You can't be....." Your jovial tone fades off at the grim look on the inari's face.

"I'm not really sure where you get your information from, Lincoln, but you're a few generations late with your facts. The centaurs are probably this continent's most tragic tale, and any dignity they had has long been stripped from them. They were betrayed by their leader to the humans many years ago. They've long since been subjugated....." The nine-tail's face twists with hate as she spits her words like a rancid taste. ".....nothing but a slave race."

You are silent, little of your former humor about the subject remaining. This.....this is a lot more complicated than you ever could have ever really understood. And it hits you very hard how much you don't know in this situation. Sure, all that monstergirl stuff you liked to read may have gotten you a leg-up compared to the soldiers who came with you, but........you're going to have to figure out a LOT more if you want to rule over even a sandcastle here, let alone the whole world.

That being said......subjugation? SLAVE RACES!? Like HELL you're going to let THAT stand.

"FUCK NO. NO SLAVERY IN MY HOBOTOPIA." You declare with an air of authority. You get a sad, tired smile from Izaya in response.

"I know I asked you to change the world for my own amusement, Lincoln. But to be truly serious? If you manage to accomplish only one thing, somehow freeing the centaurs from their servitude would be one I would choose. I won't lie to you, it wouldn't be easy; most of them have accepted their fate at this point. Fear and oppression are powerful tools. But somehow.....I feel like you might be able to do it, with all your madness. Perhaps that's just what this world needs." For the first time, you see the hints of a genuine smile cross the powerful matriarch's face. It's....pleasant.

"I'll do my best to not let you down. I shall gladly give the life of my liver in service of the great cause of freedom." You place your hand over your abdomen solemnly, swigging down the rest of your bottle to seal the pledge.

"I'll look forward to it." Izaya replies, readjusting herself in her seat. "Anything else, then?"

>MORE QUESTIONS?

[ ] [ask about sea travel]

[ ] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]

[ ] [moonwalk out and start the tank]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>Why do I bother to keep giving you these choices?
>Because maybe you'll change your mind which one you want to ask first, I dunno
>Just trying to be an accommodating OP

>>22419577

we need to know the situation regarding sea travel. is there a conveniently placed armada that we can liberate, or do we need to get the general to bring in our zeppelin?

>>22418507
Merkan here, and I'm actually considering going to Orleans over the summer.
>>22419577
Moon walk to tank, TEAR DOWN THAT FAGGOT LORD FROTTAGE. OUR HOBO SWAG WILL CARVE A BLOODY RED PATH THROUGH THE HUMAN LANDS, AND BRING PEACE AND TOLERANCE AT THE END OF LEAD.

Rolled 13

>>22419577
[ ] [ask about sea travel]

[ ] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]

>>22420425
Not TOO bad, but the thread moves slow enough that you can probably catch up and participate all at the same time. I would encourage it. Lotta exposition. Also, you missed the foxgirl tailjob, if that's what you like.

>>22420425

EGAD!!! i forgot to link the StoryBook...

well here's the StoryBook;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit

and here's the HUE's;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit

>>22418507

Canuck here. Been following this quest since I found it on thread... I dunno, three? It's exactly the kind of madness I need in my life.

[ ] [ask about sea travel]

[ ] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]

>>22420288
If I'm still around come then, I'll buy you a beer.

>>22421607
Good evening, northern neighbor.


American, UK, France, Canada, Brazil, New Zealand.......I feel worldly.

Well, most of my family is gone for the weekend. This means NO MORE STUPID INTERRUPTIONS. I actually might be able to stick to something resembling a DECENT POSTING SCHEDULE.

Rolled 2

>>22421675
I'm an auzzie. I'm also responsible for far too many of your 1's and 20's.

>>22421675
>posting schedule
Jesus christ, its the end times. THE FINAL HARBINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE HAS APPEARED

>>22421777
I appreciate your presence even more then! However, and I mean no offense, your wildlife terrifies me and that spider display you have in one of your airports would send me screaming right back onto the plane.

>>22421834
Barring the presence of enough alcohol, of course. Then I might try to set it on fire.

Rolled 3

>>22421834
It's not so bad down here, you're only on fire half the year, the other half you're underwater. And the snakes are more scary then the spiders.

Rolled 6

OP is a god.

I have wet my pants many a time on this.

I say DO EM ALL!.... TWICE!

Rolled 19

>>22421942
I dunno.... we have bird eating spiders and spiders as big as our hands. Screw the snakes, at least THOSE you're able to eat

Rolled 17

>>22419577

[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [ask about sea travel]
[X] [Ask more about the centaurs and who exactly is repressing them from enjoying the wondrfulness of being free and of experiencing hobotopia - the drunkest place on earth.
[X] [moonwalk out and start the tank]

>>22422659

i must correct one line of yours. Hobotopia Is on Riftia... but, once we have established the grand unification here, we can begin the formation of THE HOBOTONIAN EMPIRE!!!!
Multiple worlds, joined in Joyous Inebriation and love... and Hobo. Oh So much Hobo... it will be glorious.

Rolled 7

>>22419577
>[ ] [ask if foxgirl booze is a thing]
>[ ] [moonwalk out and start the tank]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
Got my whiskey and pepsi throwback, let's do this thing!

either HK is writing a very large, quality update, or he's fallen asleep.

so... in order for us to unite the undead into our glorious empire, we will need to learn necromancy. Now, we know that magic can be learnt by anyone, all they need is training. so we need to find out where we could GET said training.

Let us preemptively decide what forms of magic we wish to learn.

It is assumed that Lincoln has a natural talent in 'Alchomancy' but no formal training/active abilities...

Rolled 20

>>22423140
Blowing-shit-up-theurgy?

>>22423179

i assume this means that we DO somehow get this... i would assume that it falls under the jurisdiction of Pyrokinesis...
or it is just that. HK's call in the end...

though the real question is Who would even TEACH that?

"Well, tips on how to get across the ocean might be nice. Unless you expect me to swim. WHICH I CAN TOTALLY DO I JUST DON'T LIKE GETTING WET----"

"You're prattling again, Lincoln." Izaya points at you with an amused expression on her face. She's pretty much used to your behavior at this point, you see. That's no fun. You'll have to try to slap her on the ass when you leave or something.

"To answer your question, it won't be easy." She begins, lounging back with her legs up on one of the armrests. "Considering that you pissed off a noble, the human territories aren't going to be very safe for you, and reserving a spot on a ship even less. I suppose you could go one of the more unsavory routes.....your only other options are to convince one of the non-human factions to give you a ship, or to be lucky enough to meet a sea species and befriend them. Your options besides those are pretty much none." She lazily exudes a few wisps of fire from her tail, circling them about the upper reaches of the hut like dancing lights.

"Alright, hijack a boat or bang a mermaid, got it. What about AWESOME MYSTICAL TREASURE!?" You ask, completely ignoring any parts of her advice you don't really want to hear.

>>22423241
I vote blue magic. And yes, its a real thing.

"'Mystical treasure'.....Hah. I see that particular love is shared amongst humans no matter what." The foxgirl matriarch muses, rolling her eyes. "I'm afraid if I knew were any 'mystical treasure' was, I would have gone to get it myself. I'm sure that there's some in some of these ruins, but without a definite assurance of what's in there and where, I'm far too busy to waste my time on such things." Izaya coolly replies, dashing your hopes for getting easy access to something awesome. Oh well, guess you'll just have to find it yourself.

With bullets. And alcohol.

"Right, then. If that's the case, one more question."

"And that is?"

"DO YOU HAVE FOXGIRL BOOZE!?!?" You yell at her, tensing yourself for the answer, brow furrowed in complete seriousness.

The inari stares at you for a few moments with a blank look on her face, only to begin to laugh.

"AAHAHAHAHAHAA! Oh dear, I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that one coming." She lapses into chuckling, reaching behind her chair to grab a jug, tossing it to you.

"That's some of the special spring wine that we brew; fetches quite a high price, considering I heat it personally. Reputation counts, you know." She smirks, waving her tails to emphasize. "I hope it lives up to your no-doubt extremely high standards, oh great drinker of spirits."

"It's wine made by foxgirls. HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT." You wrap the jug's cord around your belt, letting it hang by your side.

"Very good, then. I do hope you won't disappoint me, Lincoln." she gives you a look laden with expectation.

You snap her a drunken salute. "You can count on me, matrairch!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" You proceed to moonwalk backwards out of the hut, disappearing around the corner.

Izaya leans back in her chair, satisfied with her work. With luck, the fox tribes will finally have land that they can settle on permanently by the end of all of this. And who knows? That hobo might actually turn out to be even more amusing than she could hope. Nothing left but to sit back and wait, as she has learned how to do after so many years.

.....The foxgirl matriarch then takes a look around, realizing that she still has a passed-out red oni and werebat lying on the ground of her hut.

"Oh dear......well, we all forget things sometimes."

---OUTSIDE---

You gangam style your way down the road, ignoring the uneasy glares of the townspeople, who apparently have woken up by this point from their absolutely shameful display of drinking. Let them stare. Maybe they'll learn something.

"OI, FRITZ! I NOW KNOW SO MUCH!" You yell to the SAS soldier, who is lounging on top of the tank, smoking a cigarette.

"Yo, Lincoln. Talk go well?"

"As well as it could, considering a drunken hobo was doing the diplomacy. Which means EVERYTHING WENT AWESOME."

"Heh, great. So she agreed to the alliance?"

"That and more. She gave me a ton of info about the surrounding factions, possible locations of more portals, the whole shebang." You pull out another bottle of hard liquor, crack it open and take a swig.

"Nice. That's a lot more than we could have hoped for. Hell, the General might actually thank you this time." Fritz chuckles at the thought.

"Not without trying to choke me to death at the same time for stealing his tank. Again."

"Well, we'll see. So, where we off to next?"

"Uhhhhhh................" Good question, that.

>WHERE DO YOU GO?

[ ] [head back to the portal, relay info to the General]

[ ] [head for the human kingdoms, go find Johnson]

[ ] [head to the lizardfolk lands]

[ ] [head to the lamia lands]

[ ] [head to the Corpselands]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>HERE COMES THE ARGUING
>I KNEW THIS DECISION WOULD COME

Rolled 14

>>22423364
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [head south]
[X] [DOITDOITDOIT-]

>>22423364

YOU DIDN'T ASK HER ABOUT BEING THE REGENT FOR OUR CASTLE!!!!

and it has been too long since we HONKed Zuli... upon thinking about that Lincoln loudly proclaims "DUDE! WHERE'S MY ONI!!!"

then LIBERATION TO THE NATION!!!
after all, if we kill Lord Douchwaffle, we are inherently entitled to all his stuff. which includes the castle and it's estates...

Rolled 1

>>22423451

also, some dice to play with

Rolled 4

>>22423364
>[ ] [head to the lamia lands]
Snakes man, gotta get the snakes. With their TONGUES.

Can you imagine it? It's going to be RAD

>>22423457

see how my generosity knows no bounds for you HK?

>>22423364
I KNOW WHERE THE OCEAN RIFT IS ON OUR SIDE! Its the bermuda triangle!
>>22423451
This. Because fuck Lord Fecalface

The voting period for this one will be somewhat longer because of the importance of the vote. I want as many people to have their say as possible.

Furthermore.....

>>22423533
>>22423451
You guys DO recognize that I've been dropping hints about whether trying to take that castle by yourself is a smart idea or not, right? I'm not sure if they're not getting through, or you guys just want to do it anyway.

>>22423836
...Right, sieges are hard. WE RAISE AN UNDEAD ARMY!
[X] Corpse lands

>>22423866
Better.

Besides, if you're going to do conquer a castle, you gotta be flashy about it, right?

I mean, there's only so many castles, you have to make storming them count.

>>22423936
As the OP, is it bad that I'm giving you all advice to get the most out of HoboQuest? I can't tell if it's too much interference or not.

>>22423948
Nah, I give my players advice if they're about to do really stupid shit. Like storm a castle alone.

>>22423981
It's not that you couldn't succeed, it's just......


.......well, you might not like what you accidentally end up doing.

>>22424017
Like I said, I give advice against really stupid shit.

[ ] [head back to the portal, relay info to the General]

Then we swag hard in

[ ] [head to the lizardfolk lands]

[ ] [head to the lamia lands]

Rolled 10

>>22424075
I think we shouldn't go back, because he was very mad when he sent us out on a 'deep recon' mission. we're not meant to be back for a very long time. We could send messages back, sure, but I don't think our presence would be wise.

>>22424092
Shouldn't they have at least an antenna set up on the Riftia side by now so that the teams can report in regularly without having to run back to the portal every day?

>>22424295
How difficult would it be to set something like that up where there's no power or infrastructure, period?

Rolled 15

>>22424388
Well the tanks work, so all you really need is a generator trailer and a teeeny tiny comm tower.

File: 1357451674808.gif-(31 KB, 450x356, fig3-16.gif)

>>22424388
>>22424588
You could even just run a coax cable to the other side and set up a NVIS HF antenna, since it seems that the portal is a direct opening rather than anything with a delay or teleport effect. That way the radio's still in the TOC.

Rolled 12

>>22424388
The tanks electrical systems work, and so does the Spec Ops electrical gear, so the rift does not damage or disrupt electronics, so it would be as simple as running cables through the rift or setting up some diesel generators. Not terribly hard at all.

[x] [head to the Corpselands]

with hobo luck we can find a necromancer. or a friendly ghost..
AND THEN TREASURE!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDVVVVVVEEEEEENNNNNNTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[x] Go to Lamiastan!

File: 1357452393520.jpg-(135 KB, 600x280, AN-PRC-150(C) 3-08_0237_2(...).jpg)

>>22424681
I'm recommending NVIS because it has a LOT better range than a VHF set up, and since there are no satellites, it means it's the only way to have a "theater-wide" setup.

And with this radio, you can set it up with a lot of frequencies at once in the HF range and it can automatically figure out the best one to use while calling and link up to the other end.

oh hey whatever the result of the vote, do we venture out with the same party? zuli-moria foxgirls and fritz?

because we can let fritz know what we know and report back to the general and let all the girls stand guard at the fox camp for a while.

i would like to see just us and our daughters adventuring on our own for once.

>>22425030
You may totally select who you want to come with you. I'll let that be a vote too. Nobody is an option as well.

>>22424681
>>22424943
The knowledge is appreciated; I shall take it into consideration in writing the next part.

I rely on you all for a lot of the more detailed things, so whenever stuff like this gets posted, it's really helpful.

>>22425139
That radio is pretty good, too. They can just hook one up in the tank, but it'll take a few hours to put in the right mounts for the radio and antenna if it didn't have them already. Or they can put a couple batteries in and manpack it.

Rolled 5

>>22425112
My vote is taking everyone to that temple in undead land, we've got two armored vehicles, one of which is a tank, we should be perfectly capable of defending ourselves.

Alternatively, learn necromancy at the first opportunity, where could we go to learn necromancy?

Rolled 10

Collect up our entire party, report in, then go see about the reptilian lands.

Rolled 20

corpselands sounds like a good idea but just how well would a tank hold up to the incorporeal undead and some of the stronger varieties or are we just going to pacify powerful spirits with equally powerful spirits.

>>22425445

there should be some hanging around within that area.

with our hobo luck we should find a nerco-cult group. whos members are all females. they are all human though...

Current Vote Count:

Corpselands: 5

Castle: 1

Lamia lands: 3

Lizardfolk lands: 2

Go back to the portal first: 1

DON'T go back to the portal first: 1

Radio Check: Doin' it regardless

At least as far as I count

>>22425970
Man, we have a nat 20 for Corpselands. Just write that shit.

>>22425970

so voting now who to bring?
im guessing zuli and moria are out?

Rolled 12, 3, 10, 5, 11, 4, 14, 18, 18, 11, 18, 17, 1, 4, 17, 14, 13, 13, 11, 19 = 233

>>22425970

Rolling 20 d20's cause it's the 20th quest and I have been drinking and technically homeless.

Go gods of dice, roll well or see me in hell. Get some great sexytimes with your entire entourage.

Vote yes or no on:

--Moira

--Zuli

--Illiana

--Faye

Voting no on Fritz is impossible due to being under contract with the military.

>>22426172
Consider the advantages/disadvantages to each.

>>22426172

Yes to all. Does catnip work on foxes?

>>22426172

No on everyone. FATHER DAUGHTER ADVENTURE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rolled 10

>>22426172
Well, Izaya WANTS Illiana and Faye to go with us as her representatives, so we can't exactly leave them.

And Moira and Zuli would probably be sad/pissed off (respectively) if we left either of them, so bring all?

Rolled 14

>>22426172
yes to all

Rolled 12

>>22426172
im pretty sure all but possibly one of those are out like a light, so whoever we can drag to the tank?
with luck fritz may mention something..

just want to point out that the fox girls have fire based spells.

and we are going into the undead lands. it could be an advantage or disadvantage depending on the situations.
>>22426267
there is also a good thing for leaving them behind.

Rolled 15

Either
>Yes to all
Or
>Fritz
>Minerva
>Wacky matchmaking shenanigans

>>22426172

It doesn't matter who we bring, as long as we get em to do Thriller.

>>22426172

where are the rest of the power FoxyRangers?

>>22426172
yes to everyone. HAREM is GOOD.

Rolled 1

>>22417715
Rolling to down a 5th

File: 1357458002047.jpg-(360 KB, 478x600, 19373785_m.jpg)

>>22426442
Hiding from Lincoln, of course. Probably getting yelled at for the SHAMEFUR DISPRAY earlier by their Fathers / Mothers / Uncles / Aunts / Wives / Husbands / Brothers / Sisters / EVERYONE.

Anyway. Is there a good reason for not bringing all the girls?

>>22420288
I know I am way late, but I actually live down by Nawlins.

It appears the majority of votes have gone towards bringing everybody.

However, In recognition of those who want Lincoln to go solo mode, I can promise times when you will be completely on your own, cut off from your allies. If I couldn't promise that, I'd be a pretty shitty writefag.

>>22427120
OHO! Someone close! I'll buy you a beer sometime if you're ever in town.

>>22426618

demons and undead don't really like ea other.
fire+ very dry skin and clothes does not end well.

but i doubt those are a problem now since humans are invading everyone. exept ofcourse they left the Corpselands unintended.

>>22424829
Seconding because lamias.

Alright, due to current vote count, the official decision appears to be corpselands first, bringing everyone.

A bold choice......

We'll see how it turns out.

Rolled 6

>>22428009
corpselands are lame. There are not snake tails.


Unless there are undead Lamia, then that path gets my blessing.

>>22428103
I guess we can get lamia hugs later. Right now its time for ghoul tits.

>>22428103
AHA! First complaint! I KNEW this decision was going to be the one to inspire the most contention of any so far.

>>22428121
Or for you to get horribly devoured by undead monsters.

You DO realize monstergirls are not the sole form of non-human life on this world, right?

If you don't......

HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>>22428131
Either way we'll be having a bad time.

I voted for lamia, so don't blame me.

>>22428131
>You DO realize monstergirls are not the sole form of non-human life on this world, right?
We realize that, we just don't care about anything else. Granted, I still wanted to go to the laimalands, but I'm trying to stay positive.

>>22428159
>>22428152
If it makes you feel better, I have something special planned for the lamias. As I do for pretty much every region you're going to come across.

Do not fret. I promise to make the wait worth it.

File: 1357465064666.png-(90 KB, 901x362, Gaben.png)

>>22428187
But will it be worth the weight?

>>22428203
I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN

File: 1357465195689.jpg-(100 KB, 520x550, 1351474723568.jpg)

>>22428209
You know, the weight of OVER 120 POUNDS OF SCALES AND ASS.

main reason i picked corpseland is the probability to find another rift and/or a powerful/historic relic/treasure.


on a side note what flag are we going to use whenever the war will finally start? the U.S. flag? or..??

>>22428334

ZULI'S ASS.

Rolled 16

>>22428387
This.

Rolled 4

>>22428387
NONE FINER!

>>22428387

we should let faye make the flag.

as to how she will get a chance to see them hmmm..

>>22428478
No, we should let Moira make the flag. She's got the most familiarity with the subject matter, after all.

Rolled 10

Ya know, there are two ways that this whole corpseland thing could go.

It could either be like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PvfQHUH2wLA#t=44s

OR.... it could be like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dtsK7skqk9U#t=28s

Somehow, I know the two will blend together. But, to quote one of my favorite movies:
"Ya know, this is how a lot of horror films start out."
"YEAH, but this is how a lot of pornos start out!"

Rolled 9

>>22428541
So, there's a chance lincoln bizmuth could turn into either keenu reeves, or into bruce campbell?

This could either suck, or be epiclly awesome

Rolled 20

>>22428491
>implying the best option isn't letting our harem collaborate on the flag while we supervise

>>22428541
Why not http://youtu.be/YTvYTFZmTtk?t=1m50s

Rolled 4

>>22428583
>http://youtu.be/YTvYTFZmTtk?t=1m50s
I was just about to link that.

>>22428583
DAMMIT! I looked for that and couldn't find it! thanks for the assist mate

File: 1357469337139.jpg-(509 KB, 1329x1434, 1352276075128.jpg)

Rolled 17

If we are going to the corpselands please, please let this be relevent.

so the corpes land
I wonder what we'll find, we'd better leave a small note for when johnson come to the village(as I understood he would when his work in the human land was over) and inform the matriarch of it and tell her he is a kill joy too.
maybe she can get him to calm down a little.
(winkwinknudgenudge we still need to get him dragon and lizard ladies)

>>22428991
If it isn't, we will learn the magics to make it so.

>>22428991
it won't be relevant when we get there, it's freaking squelkopters! such madness connot exist!
yet. we will create them for only the porwer of the all powerfull HOBO SCIENCE can create such master pieces! come fellow hobos let us create the most fearsome weapon this world will ever see! *insert evil maniacal laughter and thunder bolts in the backgrounds"

Rolled 10

>>22429078
we need to learn booze magics, the more drunk we are the more magics we can use.
only downside, using brings us closer to sober.

Rolled 3

>>22429099
Booze magic sounds a bit like drunk science. This can only go well.

Rolled 15

>>22429133
booze magic is like drunken science but with magic.
neither make anysense to anyone but the user/creator.

Rolled 3

>>22429099
>not learning blowing-shit-up-therugy and swagination on the side
Overspecialization is not always a good thing, anon.

>>22429233

That reminds me when my DM made a lich who was a former bard of METAL, and managed to preserve his body with ungodly amounts of alcohol.

So basically Ozzy Osbourne.

(Also my hand is more or less okay right now. I'll try to draw something today)

>>22429243

you know that by the time we reach the badlands, Lincoln will probably have HONKed the secrets to magics from Illiana and Faye... mahap Zuli aswell...

"Ground forces are most important, right? A big, massive opening to bring in equipment, yeah? Everything else is pretty pointless without it."

Fritz nods. "Even if we had a way to bring in ships or planes, by sea or sky, there's no point unless we have some way of setting up a base of operations. With our current rift the size it is, not to mention the location, it would take forever to even set up a single operating base."

"Corpselands it is, then!" You conclude cheerfully, hopping up onto the tank and kicking open the hatch.

"Uh....'Corpselands'? That doesn't sound very welcoming......"

"Oh, don't worry about it! See....."

You then proceed to explain what Izaya told you about the Corpselands to Fritz, which nobody feels like listening to because FUCK any more exposition right now.

"......this sounds like a terrible idea."

"Awww, COME ON, Fritz! It's the only lead we've got! Besides, even if we DO get attacked by zombies or skeletons or some shit, what are they gonna do? WE'VE GOT TANKS."

"....Well......when you put it like that....." Fritz hesitantly admits.

"C'mon, we'll run over zombies, find ourselves a new portal, loot graves, find monstergirls, you can pick up something nice to take home to Minerva, yeah? It'll be great." You put on a faux-Italian accent, gesturing wildly and putting on a shifty grin that a used car salesman would be proud of.

Fritz eyes you suspiciously and with a hint of worry.

"......you're not a necro----"

"I'm an EVERYTHING-PHILIAC when it comes to monstergirls."

"Goddamnit, Lincoln."

Ignoring his naysaying, you go to hop down into the tank, but stop when you here Izaya calling you from behind.

"Lincoln? I'm pretty sure you don't want to forget these." She displays the unconscious forms of Zuli and Moira, suspended by her tails. Damn, those things are strong. And soft. And fluuuuufffyyyyy.

"TWO PIECES OF ASS! How the HELL could I forget them? Give 'em here, I'll have Fritz put 'em in the bridge layer."

"I'm not a butler, you know...." Fritz grumbles, taking the unconscious monstergirls from Izaya with a grunt.

"No, but you're way stronger than me and therefore should do a larger share of the work. Plus there's like at LEAST a five percent chance they'll just spontaneously combust if I touch them, I swear."

"Yeah, yeah, ya lazy wanker, whatever you say." Fritz chuckles while he takes the passed-out girls over to the bridge layer."

"Now we just need to find you my daughters.....Where did they---"

"M-M-Mother! Lincoln!" You turn towards the source of the shout, seeing Illiana rushing down the road, Faye following close behind. "A-A-Are you leaving, Lincoln?" She asks you, her face slightly downcast.

"Not without you, my dear daughter. You and your sister will be accompanying him; you are to represent the fox tribes, and to help Lincoln see to anything he needs." Izaya throws you a discreet wink, and you love the MILFy monstergirl a little bit more.

"R-Really? I-I-I won't let you down, mother!" She stammers, raising herself up with pride. The matriarch chuckles, grabbing Illiana and embracing her in a brief hug, then doing the same for the diminutive Faye.

"Where were you two, anyway?" You ask, having not seen them since you and Izaya took turns molesting the three-tailed inari bandit. You are made even more curious when the foxgirl goes red in the face.

"I-I-I had something I had to do.....Faye was helping me....." She mumbles, averting her gaze.

"We were mastur-----"

"FAYE!" Illiana shrieks, clamping a hand over the smaller foxgirl's mouth while looking at you with panicked pleading.

Sadly, as the leering grin full of insanity on your face no doubt reveals, it's already FAR too late to keep THAT cat in the bag.

----20 MINUTES LATER----

"Sooooooo-----"

"Not talking about it."

"But---"

"Not talking about it!"

"Aw, c'mon----"

"NOT TALKING ABOUT IT, LINCOLN!!!"

---40 MINUTES---

"So, Illiana. If you're NOT going to talk about what I WANT to talk about....." You grumble a few profanities under your breath for being no fun. "What can you tell me about the deadlands?"

The inari, sitting up in the turret compartment as you drunkenly drive the tank, shrugs her shoulders. "I'm afraid I only know as much as anyone. It could have been corruption of some unknown sort, a mass necromancy accident, or any other number of things, but back in ancient days SOMETHING happened, the massive temple to Glorian was supposedly destroyed, and the place has become the prowling grounds for undead creatures of all stripes and shapes ever since. Not much else to say, other than that going there is generally a stupid idea."

"Stupid for anyone WHO DOESN'T HAVE A TANK!" You declare, swigging down the remnants of yet another bottle and pulling out two more to replace it. "So why doesn't anyone just necromancy it better again or something? Can't be that hard if you do it right....."

Illiana shakes her head. "There AREN'T any necromancers. Necromancy is a lot art, only spoken of in tomes and legends. It was supposedly lost through a great purge sometime in the humans' past. Only now, upon having to deal with the existence of the Corpselands, are the humans regretting it, or so the story goes. The Corpselands have been around since before the humans ever were a powerful force on this continent, so there's no telling what happened back then."

"Wait." You lean backwards over your seat, peering up at the foxgirl with deep frown on your face. "So you're telling me there's NO POSSIBLE WAY to communicate, control, WHATEVER with the undead? None!? THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF TELLING ME!?" You scream, pulling at your hair at the thought of all those lost monstergirls.

"I-I-I didn't say there was no chance! T-There could still be some kind of tome, or....something! There might be a clue or the key to understanding it all inside the Corpselands! Most people never come back out alive, so....it's unlikely anyone's ever made it to the temple remains. Who knows what could be inside?"

You calm yourself by chugging two bottles of rum at once. Okay, all is not lost. A bit more complicated, but not lost. You'll just have to pull an Indy and rob some ruins. And then you'll donate it to a museum, where it belo---PFFFFFFFFTAHAHAHAHA FUCK NO YOU'RE KEEPING THAT SHIT FOR YOURSELF. ALL HAIL LINCOLN'S UNDEAD ARMY! PREPARE YOURSELF, LORD FUCKFACE!

"Erm....Lincoln? You're giggling to yourself again....."

"Eeeeeheheheheheheheeee....."

Suddenly, a crackling noise eminates throughout the entire tank , making you jump. Fritz's voice comes through.

"Fritz to Lincoln, Fritz to Lincoln. Dammit, pick up the radio, you're not THAT dumb."

You fumble for the transceiver, and immediately shout the first words on your mind into it:

"WE HAVE A RADIO!?"

"GAH, FUCK! Don't shout, dammit, it hurts my ears! And of COURSE we have a radio, what the hell did you expect vehicles to communicate with, carrier pigeons?"

"Well, there was this one time I had a run in with this cult----"

"Look, save the stories for later, you need to prepare yourself. We're coming up on the rift, and there's some sort of construction going on. Looks like they're finally setting up a radio tower of some sort; 'bout time too, that way this can be our last stop before we head out for good. The General's going to be there, so....." Fritz trails off, his warning all too clear.

FUCK. You've stolen a tank and a shitload of stuff. TWICE NOW. The General is unlikely to be very happy with you; every time you meet him is another chance he'll just blow a hole through your head and be done with it.

>What do?

[ ] [Stop back at the base, give final intel report and check on status of tower]

[ ] [barrel past in tank, run away from General-based wrath]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 5

[X] [...imbibe liquor]

Rolled 3

>>22429864

imbibe liquor
work out how to lock the tank
imbibe more liquor
radio intel to general, avoiding sobbing
imbibe further liquor
CORPSELAND!!! to aquire an army to LIBERATE THE CASTLE!!!

and yes, i do really want to take the castle. The general will be so pleased with us, that he will give us TWO zeppelins rather than just the one we were promised...

rolling for Lincoln Magic... you never know, something might happen...

>>22418507
Finn, though I'm just lurking. And going back to do that.

>>22430039
Forgot to add, a polite sage, but hey.

File: 1357475353134.jpg-(38 KB, 634x319, Drunk Science.jpg)

>>22430039

ohhhh.... but more people playing make Lincoln a more interesting drunken Hobo....


On to serious business then; DRUNK SCIENCE!
how are we going to seduce the undead into joining the Hobonian Empire? the liberal application of alcohol is assumed as fixed, but does Lincoln know ANYTHING that might help him in his quest to lay the undead?

Rolled 2

>>22429864
>[ ] [Stop back at the base, give final intel report and check on status of tower]
but from the safe confines of a sealed tank turret while
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
and
>[ ] [playing with Illiana's tails]

Rolled 14

>>22429243
you do realize that statement has no place in this thread other anon, I mean our only specializations are booze and stealing shit, with questionable survival possibly relating back to booze. In fact the stealing shit almost entirely relates back to booze.
The two things that drive lincoln is booze, and tits. With possibly a side of explosions.


... now that I think about it, he is arguably the manliest man.

Rolled 14

>>22430145
>only specializations are booze and stealing shit
HEY, don't you dare forget MASTER LOCKPICK

Rolled 15

>>22430145
>booze and tits. With possibly a side of explosions.
Which is why, other than our main alcoholmancy specialization, we minor in Hobo Swagination, and take a course in Blowing-shit-up-theurgy on the side.

Rolled 6

>>22430166
Shit, I forgot about that too. Is there even a magical school for that?

Rolled 17

>>22430180
yes there is, the "Lincoln Bismuth academy of fine taste & kleptomania"

Actually have to get some sleep, be back upon awakening.

Possible topic of discussion while I'm gone: Different types of undead monstergirls, and how to seduce/bang them. You best be prepared, gentlemen.

[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [Stop back at the base, give final intel report and check on status of tower]
[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] tell everything you did to the general as fast as you can while refueling/stealing MORE weapons AND stealing TWO more tanks.
[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] then also ask faye if she wants in on the harem, since her sister is already on it. officially ofcourse.
then instead of us kissing her let illiana do it. for an hour. or more.

>>22430277

So let's try to list 'em:
>Zombie
>Ghoul
>Skeleton
>Revenant
>Lich
>Ghost
>Corpse Golem
>Draugr
>Banshee
>Poltergeist
>Vampires I guess? I mean if they won't hand around human cities and old castles, I think that's where they'd go. That said - fuck vampires.
>Mummy
>And finally DEATH HERSELF

>>22430329

There are a lot of monsters I didn't include since I'm not sure if they count as spirits/undead. (Like Dullahans)

Feel free to add anything to that list and post wooing tactics.

>>22430329
Before I pass out, I will say that it's good to hear that your hand's doing alright.

Also, what nationality are you? As long as we're taking down a list.

>>22430340

I think I mentioned it before - I'm Polish.

It's still covered in band-aids but at least now I can touch stuff without feeling like I'm stabbing myself. I'll try to work on that Lincoln drawing I promised. Artist's pride and all.

captcha:
>Widespread audience
Seems like even captcha is amazed at the multinational thing we have going on in here.

File: 1357477562697.jpg-(190 KB, 760x933, pripyatbeast.jpg)

>>22430329
Whenever I hear corpse golem, I only think of this.

>>22430363

What sort of monster girls would we encounter in Chernobyl?
>Discuss

>>22430381
I never liked S.T.A.L.K.E.R. the vidyas take on the stalker-verse. So many things were left out.

What sort of girls you'd meet inside the different zones would be far more terrifying and interesting for me.

>>22430381
>>22430403
I am now thinking of the artefacts in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. as monstergirls

File: 1357478142865.jpg-(15 KB, 150x150, Jellyfish.jpg)

>>22430416

Does that mean we'd find like a THOUSAND Jellyfish articaftgirls, just LYING all around the Zone because nobody picks them up?

Or would the STALKERS go around with what is essentially a girl detector like a bunch of creepy (pun intended) stalkers?

Rolled 2

>>22430329
Banshees and lich-ees. Oh this is gonna be great when it comes to drinking them to death.

Go to general. Get more tanks. Don't get killed by him on spot. Tell him about /your/ new allies. Go fuck some undead. Drink appropriately. Meaning all the time.

>>22430431

>Artifact girls*

Man, I suck I typing fast.

I am now imagining artifact golem catgirls. Thanks.

>>22430431
I would think that the game would live up to what its name is, stalkers. The girl's defenses being radiation up the wazoo and dangerous living conditions. Hell, it would probably make some anomalies even more temperamental than they already are. I can't even imagine what a Compass girl would be like.

File: 1357480000739.jpg-(170 KB, 1600x1200, Stalker_2.jpg)

>>22430381
Blowout soon fellow stalker.

>>22430329
death herself is kinda "easy" to get, just beat her at a game! (drunken death shenanigans ho!) I'd like a dullahan personally I can't say why though.

>>22430416
"Mutants" in stalker-verse are like artifacts. One of the reasons why I don't like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and like stalker.

>>22431366
Metaphysical mutants are my favorite, but can't really explain now. Will do it later.

>>22430961

don't forget death's granddaughter....

though copulating with material undead can be done in the usual fashion, with obvious adjustments for ones such as skeletons.
it is the immaterial, or spectral if you prefer, undead that are the trickier ones to copulate with, as they have little to no physical presence, one will have to attempt using 'Astral Projection' in order for you 'soul' to copulate with them.

just my humble opinion on the matter...

File: 1357490485449.jpg-(88 KB, 894x604, 99.jpg)

>>22431926
this sound like more trouble than worth for the spectral ones, but hey we're a hobo.
also chainsaw.swiss knife.BEST.THING.EVER

>>22432290

>Swiss multitool chainsaw

What the fuck am I even looking at here.

>>22432333
Noooo idea.

>>22432290
This art is stupid. It claims the homonculi is a Frankenstein type monster, but it is mostly a symmetrical design with little to no monster parts. Oh, yeah, it have stitches, that made monstrous, right?

Sorry for derailing

>>22432400
Rule one of hoboquest, there is no derailment
Rule two, booze and monstergirl tits

>>22432400

I think Monster Girl Encyclopedia is a pretty good source of inspiration. Unfortunately - it's trying to shoehorn sex into it's every goddamn orifice at once (Freudian metaphor intentional).

I think HK even admitted once that while the concept is good, it's not really useful for worldbuilding since the most info we get about monstergirls is 'how much they want to bone you'.

And some of the designs are REALLY FUCKING STUPID.

In other news: Should we try to liven up this thread a bit? Monster Lab Quest, anyone?

>>22432513
You want me to run it, or do you want to?

>>22432541

Well it's your thing. And honestly I don't think I could run it. I can't really write wacky Hobo stuff. Unless I'd self-insert myself as that designer in the lab we're talking about, but we wouldn't want that, won't we?

So go crazy.

YOU are WASHINGTON BISMUTH, MAD DRUNKEN SCIENTIST. You have recently created SLIMEGIRLS, your two beautiful daughters, RACHEL and VIVIAN. Its a brand new day, and Rachel has cooked a massive breakfast. WHAT MADNESS DO YOU INTEND TODAY?

Too bad Lincoln isn't into Voodoo. I mean, magic is asserting your will over reality, right? And Riftia is far more magic-rich than Earth, right?Therefore, fueled by alcohol, his drunken pseudo-voodoo ramblings would be completely effective in controlling the undead.

>>22433366

What is to say that Lincoln ISN'T into voodoo...

>>22433423

Ah. Good Point. And Lincoln can bend reality to his mad whim.

........

So, 48 hours from time of entry to total domination of the corpselands?

>>22433461
Nah, it'll be faster than that. I give, oh, 2 hours

>>22432697
Eat breakfast, have a splendid conversation with daughters, solve some crosswords and then maybe have a thrilling walk trough the park before afternoon tea.

>>22433733

seconding this motion.
during the conversation, we should ask if they would like another sister, and if so, what should we use as her base composition.
we should also think about our financial situation. after all, we are no hobo, thusly we need to acquire money. consider doing some kind of bank job, or maybe just knock out a rich person, get Rachel or Vivian to read their mind and get their pin number, then use their bank cards to withdraw large sums of money.
that should tide us over the weekend...

>>22433838
or we could go work at the lab that employs us, if we are employed by a lab, if not well I highly doubt they'd pass a man capable of creating slime girls

>>22433838
Awake for work thing reasons, few more hours before resuming.

Just wish to say:

ENGAGE IN RESEARCH GRANT SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY DEATHMATCH.

It's not too far from how scientists ACTUALLY get money for their stuff.

File: 1357503366873.jpg-(157 KB, 900x600, I wish to hug her.jpg)

>>22430329
This may or may not fit, but if Mummies are on the list, Anubis should be there as well, since they make the mummies.
Also because I have no idea where else to find them, I didn't really hear about a desert region, so unless I remember incorrectly she might fit in there.
Unless mummy mammies are out of the picture, I guess.

>>22435483
Well to be fair we don't know exactly what kind of religion they have. All we know is: "Glorian" is a goddess, and that she has a temple.

For all we know we could be driving into the temple of a monster girl Quetzalcoatl. and her zombie Aztecs.

>>22435705

>Monster girl Quetzalcoatl

What's this? Fluffy feathers and scales together?

It seems that now I'm destined to suffer because there's no way there are pictures of that.

File: 1357505626958.jpg-(462 KB, 1125x1125, Quetzacoatl.jpg)

>>22436029
Something to remember when dealing with Japan. Never say never.

Goddamnit, you ninja'd me on that one.

>>22436120

a worth target for adding to the harem. a worth target indeed...


>>22436127

you back now or still doing work-related stuff HK?

>>22436179
I've got a few more things to take care of, but I'm monitoring the thread. Sorry for the delay.

>>22436120
>>22436127

Well, shit. Not my favorite type of artstyle, but I won't look a gifted horse in the mouth. Thanks!

Also, HK - since monsterpeople of all kinds and sizes are pretty much my forte, and it seems like there's going to be some worldbuilding going on - if you want any of the spieces visualized just give me a call, and I'll try.

>>22436202

no worries. was there anything you'd like me to try sketching for you?

>>22436120

Welp. I have a new fetish. Thanks /tg/.

Seriously, lamia and harpy combined? Damn...

>>22436245

Sketch a medieval mountain fortress.

>>22436236
If we're talking about drawing some of the world-building stuff, it depends. You might try your hand at Izaya, or any of the other characters that haven't been drawn.

The problem is that I have plenty of things that would make for good drawing subjects, but can't say anything without spoiling stuff.

Hopefully we can get to it soon enough.

>>22437236

sure. though what kind of mountain fortress? a plateau fortress, a mountain peak fortress, one built into the base of the mountain, half way up, multiple rings in tiers going up the mountain.... or just whatever?

File: 1357511680384.png-(3.38 MB, 1800x1200, HoboQuest World Map REAL Final.png)

>>22437380
I think that ring one might be good.....I really can't say. If you still have the map lying around, I'd suggest looking at the topography of the nearby mountain might be a good idea.

Actually, fuck it, here's the map.

>>22437236

Ah, yes. I'll get to that. I mean I just thought since it's CLEAR that we'll be meeting stuff like Lamias and Lizardfolk, you could just describe how you imagine them, and I'd sketch out them or something.

Either way - I'll try to draw Izaya, but seeing as drawing women is really fucking hard sometimes - don't expect any good stuff. I'll probably screw it up, even if I don't give up halfway through drawing it.

>>22437806
Screwed-up drawings are far better than no drawings at all. Just do the best you can; at the very least, it's good practice.

If you want a description of something interesting to draw.....


Draw me a lamia wearing what is essentially a medieval-era ghillie suit.

File: 1357513620952.jpg-(62 KB, 822x1002, Mountain Castle.jpg)

>>22437705

here is a 'single ringed, four tiered fortress'.

general overview is that higher echelons of authority reside in the higher tiers, with the bottom tier containing the barracks, armory and slave housing.
there may also be facilities within the mountain, such as dungeons, torture chambers and treasure vaults.

but this is just my speculation based on assumed operating practices in regards to castle layouts and siege warfare strategies.

File: 1357513717449.jpg-(258 KB, 1920x1080, Mochi slimes.jpg)

Mochi Slimes.

IT MUST HAPPEN!

Rolled 4

>>22438285
I want a girl made out of coffee.

File: 1357515483953.jpg-(65 KB, 1048x956, Lincoln overlooking.jpg)

Here is a sketch i done earlier

on a different note, Update soon?

yes, i forgot the image in the previous post, and yes i deleted it... or did i?

Soon, yes.

Please excuse my terrible delay; I'm attempting to prepare dinner for my brother and I so that we don't starve to death by being lazy idiots.

Your Abrams drives towards the camp, the doom that is the General growing ever closer.

"So what's the plan, Lincoln? The General isn't likely to be happy with you....."

No answer.

"Lincoln? You there?"

"No answer.

"Lincoln? Buddy?"

Fritz hears frantic gulping noises coming from the radio.

"DAMMIT LINCOLN, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DRINK IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE THE GENERAL DISAPPEAR! DRIVE THE TANK BEFORE YOU CRASH IT!"

---10 MINUTES LATER---

The two vehicles idle next to the small operating post, Fritz standing outside with the two inari. You, on the other hand, are peaking out from underneath the tank's entry hatch, watching nervously as the angry uniformed man who represents one of the biggest threats to your continued existence marches towards your little group.

"What happened? Where's Johnson? Where's the other soliders? Where's the other monsterwhatsits? WHERE'S THE DAMN HOBO." General Williams growls at Fritz, looking for all the world like he might just blow the man apart from the sheer heat of his rage.

"Mission is progressing nicely, sir. Johnson took the others to recon the human kingdoms. Other monstergirls are sleeping in the Wolverine. Lincoln's hiding in the tank so you don't eat him." Fritz replies back without missing a beat, gesturing with each answer. The General immediately shifts his furious gaze from the SAS soldier to the tank hatch, which you quickly slam shut and lock behind you.

"LINCOLN, GET YOUR VAGRANTY ASS OUT OF MY TANK AND MAYBE I'LL ONLY BREAK SOME OF YOUR LIMBS!!!!" The General screams, already pounding on the hatch like a man possessed.

"HELL NO, MY TANK!" You yell back, only causing the General to pound on the door with increased fury.

"Sir, perhaps you should let him talk first? He DID manage to get a lot of info out of the fox-people's leader....." Fritz points out, trying to aid you in his own small way.

The General's banging ceases for a few moments, before you hear his voice boom out again. "LINCOLN, GET OUT OF THE TANK AND TELL ME WHAT YOU FOUND OUT AND MAYBE I'LL LET YOU KEEP THE TA---BWAAAGH!" The General gets hit in the face and flies off the armored vehicle as the hatch springs open. You poke your head out eagerly.

"DEAL!" You yell, ignoring the General's cursing.

----30 MINUTES OF EXPLAINING LATER----

"I see. I think I've got all of that, then." The General absentmindedly nods to you as he screws up his face in deep thought. "That's a rather complicated situation; reminds me of Israel and Palestine, a bit, though with a LOT more countries. And I don't think I need to tell you how much of a pain in the ass THAT political situation is." The General grumbles, grimace on his face.

"Still though.....where there is strife, there is opportunity. With proper diplomacy, we may be able to get a lot of the factions to fall in line with a strong uniting force; which would, of course, be us. Hearts and minds and all." The Brigadier General turns to you with a complicated, slightly disgruntled look on his face. "You.....you did a good job, Lincoln. For all your stupidity, you've gotten us a clearer picture than I could have hoped for out of one meeting." He sniffs, looking torn between his pride and wanting to acknowledge your drunken efforts. "If....If you keep up this kind of work....MAYBE I won't kill you."

"HUZZAH! LIFE EVERLASTING SHALL BE MINE!"

"I SAID MAYBE, ASSCLOWN!"

---UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF HOURS WHILE YOU WERE NAPPING LATER---

"What's your next destination then, Fritz?" The General asks, having been overseeing the installation of the radio and it's antennas. You weren't really paying attention to the magic talky box. Why would you? It'll just give the General more chances to yell at you.

"You'd have to ask Lincoln, sir. He's the one who knows more about it." Fritz motions to you, currently drinking a bottle of Khalua while doing a headspin on top of the tank turret.

The General groans before directing his ever-irritable attention at you once again. "LINCOLN. WHERE ARE YOU GOING AND DOES IT REPRESENT A THREAT TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?"

"Naw, Generallisimo, it'll be great! We're going to the Corpselands. We just have to drive over a bunch of zombies, find a ruined temple, and we might find that giant portal you need inside! Then we can all take shots and dance Thriller."

"Great. In order to get anywhere, I need to let THIS retard potentially start a zombie apocalypse." The General buries his face in his hands, taking a few deep breaths before looking back up at you again.

"Lincoln, despite my misgivings, I'm giving you full permission to go ahead. While the risks may be great, we NEED to eliminate this bottle neck we have here, or we're screwed for the foreseeable future. Now, you said there was a potential for being able to communicate with these....undead...?"

You nod, now balancing on one hand with you drink in the other. "If we can find some evidence of necromancy, that is."

"Then make that your first priority. We NEED that portal. Say whatever you have to for them to cooperate. Hell, I don't care if you have to seduce them----"

"That's a given already, General."

"---I DID NOT JUST HEAR THAT OKAY. Just get the damn portal open and secure it, and make sure that the local zombie brigade doesn't decide to go feast on hapless Americans." And with that, the General paces away, mumbling furiously to himself. You don't think prolonged exposure to you has done any good for his health. Not that you care. ZEPPELIN!

"Alright, Fritz, hop back in the bridge-layer. We're off to see the Corpselands!" You cheerfully hop back into your tank, Illiana and Faye climbing up afterwards to sit on top. Starting the tank, you immediately crank the accelerator and spin the tracks like a madman. Racing off towards.....

The radio crackles.

"LINCOLN, YOU'RE HEADING NORTH, NOT SOUTH!"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW DIRECTIONS WORK, DAMMIT!"

---2 HOURS OF TRAVEL LATER---

You pull the tank to a halt, poking your head up out of the armored vehicle as Fritz pulls the M104 up behind you. He hops out of his vehicle, slowly moseying up alongside of the Abrams and letting out a long, low whistle.

"So that's the Corpselands, eh? Feckin' creepy looking place."

"Hey, as long as I get my undead bitches, I don't give a damn where they live."

"You are an incredibly strange man, Lincoln."

>What do?

[ ] [ask Fritz for binoculars, survey Corpselands]

[ ] [drive in without giving two fucks]

[ ] [go knock on one of the graves]

[ ] [grab a weapon from the cart train]

[ ] [chicken out and go do something else]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22440733
[x] Imbibe liquor

[x] Get a rifle of some kind

[x] Imbibe liquor

[x] Acquire binoculars

>>22440733
[x] [ask Fritz for binoculars, survey Corpselands]

Try to figure out which grave has the hottest mostergirl in it

Rolled 11

>>22440770
>>22440830
These two, while imbibing liquor.

>>22440733

[x] [ask Fritz for binoculars, survey Corpselands]
[x] Imbibe liquor

Pretty straightforward

Fuck Binoculars! I have combined both of these things via alcohol!

>[X]Drink two round bottles of whatthefuckIdon'teven.
>[X]Peer down the neck to the base and all that.
>[X]Thus, using bottles for DRUNKEN MAGNIFICATION FACTOR.

Rolled 14

>>22440733
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [ask Fritz for binoculars, survey Corpselands]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [grab a weapon from the cart train]
[X] [go knock on one of the graves]
[X] [Play heavy metal music as loud as possible from speakers]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [Headbang]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [If any undead bitches show up, try and seduce them. but ONLY if they aren't rotting and decaying and stuff. Oh, and fire weapons madly at anything that tries to eat your brains. Also, vampires are not trying to give hickeys.]

WOO!

Rolled 8

I have watched enough music videos and motion pictures to know that the undead can't resist synchronised dance.
[ ] Blast the Danse Macabre over all the tanks radios
[ ] imbibe liquor
[ ] Blast Thriller over the tanks radios

I imagine the music will be like catnip to them.

>People suggesting possible Corpselands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qrB9I3DM80

Best land of the dead.

File: 1357529288355.jpg-(79 KB, 500x436, Mistah Bones.jpg)

>>22441296
I would rather New Orleans, but with Skeletons.

And its all run by this guy.

>>22441458
I would pay to see Skeleton New Orleans. Dapper Skeletons running Bourbon Street, and never-ending parties.

>>22441598
An eternal Mardi Gras parade forever marching about town...

>>22441675
Drunken vampires and zombies hopped up on drugs.... people trading beads going "Show us your ribcage!"

One question, care to describe the landscape? I have this picture in my head of a land completely colored grey(think necropolis HoMM3), which I doubt would be the whole land.
Also, I saw a desert-looking place on the map, and I'd like to make something possible.

>>22441733
Landscape description will be forthcoming.

Yes, there is a desert section on another continent. It's rather large.

Our current location is the grey blemish on the Westernmost continent.

>>22441887
Really? That's extremely small. So small I actually overlooked it, guess the grey was right after all.
Also Swede here. Må din historia berättas genom tiderna.

I find it odd that I get most of my opportunities to post in the wee hours of the morning.

Rolled 1

>>22444085
it's good timing for Australians like me then. It's only 6 pm over here.

>>22444468

Does this mean that you get eaten by your country or your time zone?


>>22441051

Seconding this course of action

>>22444597
Its Australia. Everything down there could eat him.

>>22444664

And based on that one, everything HAS eaten him...

>>22444888
Not yet.....

He still has to eat himself. Self-cannibalism? Doubtful, unless he's seriously hungry and drunk as hell

>>22445013
Well his own hair ate him does that count?

>>22445013
hmmm..... if he eats his own snot, then i suppose as him eating himself, but i suppose if his own hair ate him, then that could count too...

wait a minute.... are we REALLY debating the semantics of self-vore?

>>22445462
You are indeed. And it amuses me greatly.

I'm sorry I've been taking so long with this next post. I've been doing a bit of writing practice with creepy things, since the Corpselands sure aren't going to be all sunshine and daisies.

I know the delays can be annoying, but I don't want to just rush out more posts and have them be shit.

>>22445492
saright boss.... we patiently and happily await your voristic adventures with lincoln... the longer the wait, the more awesome we know it will be

Rolled 19

this guy >>22444468 here.
I leave for 3 hours because of family stuff eating up my time and you guys are discussing me self-voreing.
I would say I'm suprised but with some of the discussion that goes on in these threads this is to be expected.

>>22445492
Take your time it let's people like me who aren't in the same timezone as you keep up with the thread.
curse my frenchiness

>>22445518
>>22446921
>>22447071

I think the entire reason I have so many players from such a wide variety of countries is specifically because of my schitzy, unpredictable all-hours posting.

If that's the case, I'm actually glad these threads turned out like they do. Gives more people a chance to play.

Is anyone even still up? I'll just grab a nap before typing the next post if not.....

>>22447816
Still here.

Rolled 6

>>22447816
still here getting ready for work

Rolled 6

>>22447816
very much here

>>22447854
>>22447859
>>22447943
One post on the way, then.

Rolled 6

>>22447992
late but here.

Rolled 7

>>22447859
>>22447943
>>22448040
>6
>6
>6
What... sorcery is this...?

>>22448051
Meh, just the usual warps in reality that happen every time I get close to posting. You get used to it.

Thinking quickly, you produce two bottles of Beefeater from your coat, chugging them both in a few moments. Placing the now empty gin bottles up to your eyes and peering out into the Corpselands, you see.....you see.....

"I CAN'T SEE SHIT!" You yell, frantically peering in every direction with your makeshift binoculars.

"That's because you're using SQUARE bottles, ya idiot." Fritz rolls his eyes, grabbing the bottles away from you and handing you a pair of binoculars instead. You grumble under your breath as you grudgingly accept the binoculars. Bringing them up to your eyes, you survey the lands before you.

Everything looks pretty.....well, pretty dead. Dead trees, dead plants, dead everything. There's scattered graves as far the eye can see. The ground is mottled, grey and black and brown. It's a mess of rock and decay.

PERFECT place to find undead monstergirls. Awww yeah, this is gonna be so sweet.

You squint through the magnification tool. You think you can see a few wandering figures off in the distance, but given the distance, you can't really tell. Nobody seems to be nearby, though. It's as quiet as a tomb.

.....Speaking of tombs.....

"Hang on a sec, Fritz. I need to try something." You hand the binoculars back to the SAS soldier, heading back to your cart train. Rummaging in one of the baskets, you pull out an M14EBR. You have no idea what it actually is, you just think it looks dangerous and capable of shooting people, which is really all that matters.

Strolling back to the front of the Abrams, you walk past Firtz, trotting down into the Corpselands until you come up to one of the nearest graves. Reading yourself, you proceed to address the grave and any potential occupant with the utmost respect.

"OI, BITCH, GET OUTTA THE GROUND! I'M ON SOMETHING RESEMBLING A SCHEDULE AND I NEED TO SCREW YOU SILLY, ALRIGHT!?" You bellow at the top of your lungs, kicking the grave several times with zero respect to either dead or undead.

"Uhhhh, Lincoln? I don't think that's such a good idea....." Fritz ventures.

"PSsssssh, relax! Doesn't look like anybody's home, either. Oh well, just gotta move on to the next-----"

Surprisingly, your sentences is cut short when a body arm shoots out of the ground, grabbing you by the ankle. Could it be!? The long-awaited undead sexyti----Wait, nope, that's a normal skeleton FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

[roll 120 to escape from skele-grasp]

And now I sleep. Updates will continue at a much more rapid clip once I have actually gotten some rest.

Rolled 16

>>22448210
rollan

Rolled 10

>>22448210
Oh, but who says we WANT to escape...?

Rolled 7

>>22448225
hey, save that for the 1's

>>22448210
Holy cheese and chips hoboman! They're going after our sausage link and hardboiled eggs of inebriated hobo JUSTICE!!

use our guns for epic awesomeness! (no, not your arms, those guns you grabbed!)

Rolled 5

>>22448237

Last note:

If we go over the post limit before I get back, somebody please archive this. Thank you.

Rolled 2

>>22448210

Well, here we go.

Rolled 6

>>22447635
I think you migth be right.
>>22448210
why did I saw this comming? ah well