>>23136657


Dig my body out of the dirt.

I wonder where my car is, while trying to solve a rubics cube.

>>23136778

You are indeed a thinker.

This sounds like three years ago.

Gritting your teeth and muttering to yourself, your hands start to scoop up dirt. It's packed around you rather tight, but you soon make enough progress that you could start wiggling your waist.

Soon enough, you've dug enough to manage to pull yourself out of the ground. Panting from the effort, you spit out some dirt that's gotten into your mouth and stand up to inspect your surroundings.

Roll d100 for discovering

Rolled 46

>>23136839

Ascension time.

Rolled 58

>>23136839

>>23136845
Looks like we discover how to lose.

>>23136839

I'm doing it right?

Rolled 56

rollan

Rolled 90

>>23136862
retry

>>23136845
>>23136853
>>23136869
>>23136875
It is dark as a motherfucker in this forest, the moonlight just barely guiding your way as you explore. As you walk about halfblind, your foot steps on something pointy, making you jump.

Bending over to pick it up, you find a rubics cube just randomly lying about in the forest.

You feel the compulsion to start twisting and solving it, even if it's dark as hell and you can barely make out the colors.

Roll 1d11, taking the best of first 3 rolls

>>23136925
1d100 my bad

Rolled 15

>>23136925

Okay?

Rolled 43

>>23136925

Nothing matters anymore.

Rolled 83

>>23136974
>>23136968
Fuck you 100.

You start twisting the rubics cube, slowly at first, using what light there was to guide you. By accident or by chance, you manage to fill up one side with the correct colors. Just as you solve one side however, reality warps around you, and you find a violent force starts pulling you somewhere.

Before you knew what was going on, you find yourself in a brightly lit room, lined with torches and made out of colorful marble. On the far side of the room was a mirror, and you see yourself for the first time.

Are you a boy or a girl? describe yourself.

What do you do?

Rolled 70

girl, slender, adrogyness, pale skin, dark hair, amber eyes. dark circles under each eye

Rolled 76

>>23137108

I look at the mirrow and i'm scared of what i see:

A huge 2 meters tall manly viking warrior. Blond long hair, grey eyes, red long beard, beer drinker, hairy body, dark brow body hair, fit as a /fit/ fag.

>>23137174
Yessss.

>>23137174
yes

You look at the mirror and find a rather dashing if not savage man staring right back at you. Walking closer, you see that you are definitely a fine specimen of a man, towering with well defined muscles with long blonde hair and a red, flowing beard. A carpet of curly hair covered most of your manly body, a testament to the testosterone that flowed in your veins.

You tear your eyes away from the mirror to inspect the place some more.

You must not have noticed before, but there were more things inside the room. There was a chest to the left of you, a closet to your right and a door directly behind you.

What do?

>>23137265
open chest the best stuff is always in a chest

Rolled 30

>>23137265

Clothes are for pussies. Open the chest.

>>23137319
>>23137294

Don't open the chest.

Open the CHEST.

"Clothes are for pussies!" You find yourself crying out suddenly as you approach the chest, walking unabashedly as your manhood dangled proudly between your legs.

You kneel before the chest. It was more like a plain wooden crate, really. Unadorned with not a lock in sight. Anybody could just open it and take what is inside.

Still, a quiet, less manly voice in your head says, it doesn't belong to you.

Do you open it? roll d100 if you do.

Rolled 43

>>23137404
OPEN DAT CHEST NIGGA!

Rolled 46

>>23137404

Of course it belongs to us. We pissed here first.

Rolled 33

>>23137417
>>23137418
Fuck you 100.

>>23137427
>>23137418
>>23137417

Finders keepers, the manlier voice in your head said, pushing your wuss of a conscience aside as your hand lifts the lid.

You peer into the chest to find that it was deeper than it let on from the outside, the darkness obscuring what was in the bottom.

There was the whirring of unseen mechanisms, and time seemed to slowdown as an arrow flew out of the darkness and right towards you.

>>23137480
Roll d100 for dodging, fuckers

Rolled 71

>>23137487

My power is more than you could possibly imagine.

Rolled 14

>>23137551
More than all of the 1970s combined!

Rolled 56

>>23137487
Holy shit time magic.

Fucking wizards.

Rolled 3

>>23137551
>>23137556
Fuck you 100.

>>23136989
>>23137427
>>23137565

83, 33, 3

Uh oh.

Maybe you shouldn't have talked to the dice that way.

>>23137551

It was moving slower than you anticipated for a speeding arrow, still fast but not blindingly so. You manage to tilt your head to the side as the arrow grazed your shoulder flying past you, blood splattering from the wound.

You hurriedly back away from the chest and proudly announce. "My power is more than you could possibly imagine!"

"Oh really?" droned a bored voice behind you.

You turn your head just in time to see that the arrow was now speeding towards your back.

Holy quick time events, vikingman! Roll d100 for more didging, getting best of first 3.

Rolled 22

>>23137643
FUCKING WIZARDS.

Rolled 71

>>23137643

Eternity is within my GRASP.

Rolled 54

>>23137658
>>23137651
Fuck you 100.

>>23137658
Do we get a bonus for the badass guy rolling 1971 twice?

>>23137670
You'd think so, but I might have something in mind later on.

>>23137658

"Fucking wizards!" you growl as you fall flat on the ground, the arrow just barely missing the top of your head as you dove.

"My, my, you're a quick one, aint ya?" You look up to see some skinny motherfucker dressed like a pink Robin Hood, sitting on top of the closet on the other side of the room. His legs were crossed, chin resting amusedly on one hand and looking at you with bored interest. "Hey, don't look at me, you still got some dodging to do."

You look around you and see that the arrow was again flying straight towards you. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Roll d100 for more dodging, best of 1st three.

You realize you just can't keep dodging forever, so add your next action. What do?

Rolled 29

>>23137743

But the blood and thunder roiling in my veins!

We launch into a Dragon Kick toward his chest.

Rolled 29

>>23137768

BY THE BLOOD AND THUNDER ROILING IN MY VEINS!

>>23137768
>>23137778
Come on, you gotta give this guy something. He's like a walking doubles.

>>23137784

I. Am. Power.

Rolled 47

>>23137743

Rolled 34

>>23137768
>>23137778
Fuck you 100.

>>23137784

That is pretty remarkable.
But I think the wizard's going to eat us.

>>23137778
>>23137768
>>23137811

"By the blood and thunder roiling in my veins!" You curse as you rolled out of the way, just as the arrow planted itself into the marble floor.

You stand up, staring down the man onto of the closet and tense your muscles for what was to come. You launch yourself from the floor and lunged at the man with a dragon kick from across the room. You take a moment to be impressed with yourself. Maybe you've trained in some martial arts in the past, who knows? "I am power!"

The man merely looked at you, idly flicking his wrist and snapping.

You feel a sharp pain, in your side, throwing you off course and sending you crashing into the closet below the man. Getting up from the rubble, you find the arrow stuck to your side. "What the fuck?"

Before you knew it, the arrow pulled itself out of you, floating up in front of your face.

What do? roll d100, best of 1st three.

Rolled 67

Catch the arrow.

Rolled 32

>>23137889

I only grow stronger by the second!

We hop out the nearest window.

Rolled 92

>>23137958
Nothing shall remain in my wake.

Catch. The. Arrow.

Rolled 92

>>23137889
Grab the arrow in one hand, snap it in half.

Lunge at him and break his hands.

>>23138004
>>23137996
Oh wow. Every single time.

>>23137996
>>23137975
>>23137958

You quickly look around for a means of escape. No windows, just the door, but that was on the far side of the room.

The arrow suddenly darted for your neck, giving you only a split second to react. Bringing both of your hands in front of you, you clapped them together, catching the arrow by the shaft.

Before you could breathe a sigh of relief however, the arrow wiggled violently in your grasp, slithering through your grip and thrusting it's head to your neck.

This was it, you thought, reluctantly accepting death. Suddenly, the arrow stopped, just an inch from your neck. You look down and saw a ghostly hand coming out of your chest, catching the arrow for you.

(cont'd)

>>23138004
>>23137996

I. I just realized.

The last double roll was 29.

And this is 92.

Something's going on in this thread.

>>23138067
i knew it
i knew it you motherfucker

Alright look, we're naming it YYZ. I don't even know what it does yet.

We are getting a stand, right? There's no fucking way you didn't make that name on purpose.

FUCKING OGRES.

>>23138067

The hand clenched tightly around the arrow, snapping it in half. The pieces dissolved into dust, and you are left staring at the ghostly appendage as it retreated back into your chest. "What in the name of my sexy beard...?" you wonder.

"Well, this is an annoying development." The man said as he jumped from the top of the ruined closet, landing in the center of the room. "I was hoping to kill you before your Stand could awaken."

"Stand?" you asked, confused.

"Don't worry about it, you'll be dead soon." The man said, taking out a colorful bow that didn't seem out of place in some kind of magical girl show. He pulled on the string, and an arrow manifested in it, much like the one before. "Prickly Needle." he announced, aiming the bow and arrow at you.

What do? d100, best of 1st 3,

Rolled 13

>>23138138

Mine is the hand of GLORY!

We duck under his whirling into a full-body haymaker of ghostly energy aimed at his face.

Rolled 40

MUDADA!

Rolled 95

>>23138138
Feel the true touch of death.

Dodge and crush him with our bare hands.

>>23138114
I was hoping somebody would get it, haha. We'll get to that.

>>23138173
>>23138181

Our mojo is escalating!

Rolled 43

>>23138199
>not consecutive doubles
Nah, I wouldn't say that just yet.

>>23138199
But becoming unsynchronized. Keep it together.

Rolled 52

>>23138211

I sense a dark pattern brewing.

>>23138234
+1, -1, the field is shifting.

>>23138250

Whirling.

>>23138166
>>23138173
>>23138180

Just as the arrow left the bow, you felt an impetus rush to your legs and make you move, meeting it head on. Deciding to go with it, you ducked into a roll just as the arrow was about to plant itself between your eyes, then rising up again, rushing at the archer.

"So quick-!" the man said in surprise as you fell upon him. He jumped back as he pulled on the string again, creating another arrow. "Not quick enough!"

The arrow flew to your face but you catch it with ease. "Useless!" you roar. Before you could draw your fist back to punch him right in the jaw, two ghostly, muscled arms popped out of your beard and delivered a barrage of punches.

"Muda! Muda! Muda! Muda!" roared a voice in your head as you showered the archer with bone shattering blows.

Roll d100 for effectivity, best of 1st 3.

>>23138211

However ironically:

>>23138199
>>23138166

Rolled 37

>>23138220
>>23137912
>>23137900
Use the email field for rolls.

Rolled 78

>>23138294

Feel the unstoppable breadth of my STRENGTH!

>>23138335
>>23138332
>>23138314

The man convulsed like a rag doll as over a dozen punches landed on him. He flew back, crashing into the far wall, falling to the ground limp. The marbled room slowly faded away, leaving the both of you in the middle of a clearing in the forest. "Feel the unstoppable breadth of my strength." you scoff. The man didn't move or say anything from where he was sitting. "I hope you're still alive, I need answers!"

As you approached him, you step on something pointy again. Looking down, it was another rubics cube.

You feel another compulsion to pick it up and solve it, but you wanted to interrogate the man as well.

What do?

>>23138126
mah nigga!

Rolled 8

>>23138427

Your broken body will squeak out the answers I need.

Interrogate him.

>>23138447

Need to do that cube!

Rolled 63

>>23138502
INTERROGATE HIM HARDER.

>>23138502
>>23138447
one for both choices, tie breaker time

>>23138518
two i mean

Rolled 97

>>23138518
Watch him closely to make sure he doesn't pull anything and SOLVE THAT SHIT.

Rolled 1

>>23138528
Interrogation please.

>>23138546

No

>>23138541
>>23138546

Looks like it's 97 solving time. Heh.

>>23138541
>>23138512
>>23138447

The moonlight was brighter now, and you feel that lingering compulsion to pick up the rubics cube and solve it. Looking up at the man, you watched him closely as you picked up the cube.

He was most definitely out of it, you conclude. Skinny man like him would be lucky if he came out of that able to use his legs again, much less alive.

Taking the cube in your hand, you twisted the puzzle experimentally. It was slow going at first, but you eventually found your stride, solving one side with ease again.

You felt another force pulling at you again, and you find yourself back inside the room of colorful marble tiles, along with the mirror, the chest and closet.

You hear a clapping sound behind you, and you turn to see a man in a striped suit and a green bowler hat in front of the door. "Wonderful." he announced. "Few people get out of my Curiosity Killed the Cat, but you're the first one dumb enough to come back in!" he laughed.

What do?

Rolled 48

>>23138625
SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M BUSY SOLVING THIS.

>>23138668
SECONDED

Rolled 35

>>23138625

I came to rule this land.

Destroy him deft chop of our right hand.

Rolled 87

>>23138625

OPEN DAT CHEST.

Curiosity killed the cat...Satisfaction brought him back.

SOLVE THE PUZZLE

Oh, and this is me samefagging from here
>>23138676

>>23138668
>>23138676

You hold up a hand to silence his clapping, still engrossed in the rubics cube. "Kindly shut the fuck up, little man, I'm busy." You say dismissively, before returning your full attention to the cube.

"Eh?" the man said, confused. "I don't think you appreciate the gravity of this situation, friend." the man said as he sauntered over closer to you.

"Shut up. Thinking."

The man frowned at your lack of interest in him and approached you more, hand sneaking into the jacket of his suit and pulling out a knife. "Yeah, sure, you keep on doing that...." he sneered dangerously. He rushed you, aiming to stab you with his knife.

Just as he was about to make contact, a ghostly hand grabbed him by the wrist.

"I said..." You begin dangerously, facing the man as he dangled in the air. "Shut up!" with a massive chop of your right hand, you send him skidding back across the floor. "Hey... wait a minute..." you say, coming to a realization.

You could interrogate this guy.

Roll for interrogatan, d100 best of 1st 3.

>>23138790
Or keep solving the puzzle, that was good too.

Rolled 51

>>23138790
Fuck no, we're solving that shit all the way.

Rolling to recall algorithms.

Rolled 83

>>23138790

Mine is the will unpuzzlable!

Rolled 71

>>23138840

Carrying on to solve the puzzle.

>>23138790
I saw the name of this thread, and I was not dissapointed. Does our stand have a name yet? If not, I nominate Manowar as a name for it since we are a manly viking man.

>>23138906

I got it gets named Rubik.

>>23138881
>>23138851
>>23138840

The man got up with relative ease, dusting himself off and looking none worse for wear. "You fool." he said, laughing with amusement. "I am invulnerable to injury in this world that Curiosity Killed the Cat made!" he announced. "The only way out is to solve the puzzle, but let's see how you do that under constant atta-!"

The world around the both of you shifted and you were back in the forest again.

"Eh?" the man said, confused. "EH?!!!!"

"Finished!" you roared triumphantly.

"How!? How could you have finished so fast?!" he demanded.

"You kept running your mouth about how invulnerable you were." you say, tossing the cube over your shoulder. "Gave me all the time in the world." You approached the man and cracked your knuckles. "I suggest you start singing, little man."

Roll for interrogatan, you sharp bastards. Knew that was too obvious of a weakness to the enemy's ability. 1d100, best of 1st 3.

Rolled 87

>>23138968

Let's try this again.

Your broken body will squeak out the information I want.

>>23138906
Welcome to the thread, jojobro. No name yet, your character barely even knows what the fuck is going on.

>>23138965
The rubics cube is the enemy's ability, not yours.

Rolled 81

>>23138968
"Who do you work for?"

"Depending on what you say, I might have to kick your ass!"

>>23138965
Cube. Cube the Grand Magus.

>>23139004

For now, for now.

>>23139004
When I was catching up as soon as the arrow came out of the chest I knew that this was definitely jojo related.

>>23138738

Called it.

>>23138968
No more rolls? Will wait a couple more minutes.

Rolled 96

>>23139119
Fuck you 100.

>>23139125
That wasn't fucking 100 do better next time dice.

>>23139135

Yeah! You tell 'em!

>>23139125
>>23138986
>>23139005

The man backed away, breaking into a run, but you catch him by the scruff of his suit and pulled him face to face with you. He tried lunging you with the knife but you just caught his hand, twisting his wrist and breaking it in a sickening snap, making the man scream and drop the blade.

"Who do you work for?!" you demanded, sending spittle flying into the man's face. "Depending on what you say, i may have to kick your ass!"

"We- we're just a couple of guardians!" the man said, terrified of you. "Me and my friend, we was just trying to weed out the weaklings! Only the strong get to enter Morrisburg! It's a terrifying place! We're doing them a favor by killing them now!"

"Morrisburg? A city?" you ask, and the man nodded quickly.

"Yeah, a big city surrounded by golden walls, that way!" the man said. You glared at him suspiciously. "I swear, it's that way! You can't miss it in the day light, and you can't leave this place any other way!"

"Where is this place?"

"I... I can't say!" You punched him in the gut.

"Answer me!"

"I said I can't!" the man said, beginning to blubber pathetically.

You've wrung him out for all you can it seems. Here you are, naked in the forest with your two defeated attackers and a city to the east.

What do now?

>>23139231

Either of them have any attire befitting our manhood?

>>23139231
Pose fabulously.

Acquire fabulous clothing.

Not necessarily in that order.

>>23139135
>>23139125
Tough crowd, haha.

>>23139231

I feel the dark urge to walk in the direct opposite way from the city.

>>23139248
>>23139266

Looking at the grown man openly crying in front of you with a look of disgust, you drop him on the ground and bring your hands to your hips, looking around you. "Alright, alright, just shut up! Crying pisses me off!"

The man instantly stows his tears, resorting to quietly sobbing.

You sigh, and shiver as you became aware of the cold wind that licked your chiseled, Adonis-like body. "Hey." you say, catching the man's attention and looming over him with your naked form. "Strip."

"Eh?" the man squeaked, feeling an all new kind of fear grip him.

(Be right back, 30 minute hiatus)

>>23139348
A few minutes later, you're dressed in the green striped suit, the material stretching over your larger frame like spandex, hugging you tightly and accentuating your physique.

"Niiiice...." you say as you strike some poses, checking the comfort of the fit. "Thanks for the threads." you said, turning to the man as you plop the bowler hat on your head.

The man covered his naked body, his skinny form shivering more in the cold night air. "So- so you ain't gonna kill me?"

"Depends..."

You can ask about stands, who they are, go to the city, or something else.

>>23139634
Ask him about the city

>>23139634

be a gentleman and tell him his friend is injured, and should get medical treatment.


then proceed to rip a tree out of the ground to use as a weapon.

>>23139707
>>23139675

"Your friend is injured, it'd be best you get him to a doctor before he dies." You say, while approaching a tree, running a hand over the rough bark as you inspected it.

"Sure, yeah, sure..." the man said, not believing you let him live. He got up and went to his friend's side.

"If you can't tell me about this place, then tell me about the city." you say suddenly.

"Morrisburg is the city in the middle of this forest." he says grimly. "This forest stretches across eternity. No way out unless you get into the city and make your way to the ivory tower in the middle. They say that if you climb up the top, you get a wish..."

"A wish?"

"Yeah, anything you want, but the city is full of monsters... dead things..." Before he could continue, something jumped out from the woods, bristling with fur and fangs flashing in the moonlight. "Blimey!"

Roll for reactan! 1d100 best of 1st 3

Time to see if beasties in these woods can be made to fear the wood itself...

Massive tree club attack, away!

Rolled 87

>>23139814
Don't forget to POSE!

Rolled 82

>>23139814
Never forget to pose>>23139882

>>23139882
>>23139858

"Hey, I'm still talking to him!" you tell the wolf as you grasp the tree trunk with both hands. Pulling with all your might, you see the ghostly arms come out of you once more and help you, wrenching the tree from the ground and swatting the wolf away. "Urrya!"

But there were more of them however, swarming in from every direction. Before you could turn to face them, they were upon you.

Or so you thought as the wolves ignored you and proceeded to rip apart the two men who had attacked you earlier.

"No!" you say out loud, trying in vain to swat the wolves away from them.

"Forget it!" atop a tree stood a man, dressed in furs and covered in warpaint. "You have passed the trials, stand-user. You may proceed to Morrisburg."

That's it for tonight, getting late. To be continued Friday night jojobros.