Candles of Forgetfulness: When burning, causes anyone who can smell them to forget what they were just talking about.

Invlunerable Ring: This is a ring of pure invulnerablity, it cannot be harmed. It provides perfect protection to the portion of the finger it covers.

Bard's infiltration tool: A bagpipe which grants invisibility as long as it is being played

The Om-Nom-Nomicon: This eldrich tome bears a horrid maw on its front, when fed a requested food, reveals unspeakable truths of the universe.

...It also reveals over 200 sandwich recipes and combinations.

Book of Narcissistic Cantrips: Contains the following 4 spells that any magically sensitive character may learn.

>Call Doves: Doves fly from behind the caster and up and away.

>Blow Wind: Puts a soft breeze across the face of the caster so that their hair flows beautifully.

>Light!: Puts a soft beam of light from the upper right of the caster, much like a soft spot-light.

>Sparkle Sparkle: The caster finds themselves slightly sparkly, augmented with Light!.

The book ends with the passage, "That's all I'll teach you. You'll just have to figure out the rest if you want to be as great as me."

Freeman's Amulet: You gain Gordon Freeman's voice, and Morgan Freeman narrates your actions and thoughts. Others can hear this narration.

Boots of Dubstepping: Wubs with every step. -10 stealth.
Drop: Daily; Minor; Stomp and push creatures in close burst 1 a single square and do 1d6+3 damage.

The Callused Toe: This magically infused toe of a giant grants the wearer a thicker hide, giving +3 to his AC.

.....At the cost of looking like a giant callus.

Dragon Dildo of Anger: Makes the victim butthurt.

Ring of Invisibility: When you put it on, the ring turns invisible.

>>23458481

In the wrong hands, this could be INCREDIBLY useful.

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>>23458565
Don't forget the Bracers of Light that went with them.

>>23459051
I don't have their stats. The fighter got them and proceeded to never use them, except for the concert.

Finglonger: Magical ring that lengthens the index finger to 4 feet long.

All of these would stop seeming silly the second you put them in the hands of a dickass PC.

Cauldron of cooking. No fire is required. The pot is cool to the touch. All food placed in it is blackened to the point of just barely being edible. Food inside the pot has no mass.

>>23459112
That's half the fun!

Lute of abominations: Is a damned good lute, when played one can faintly hear a goat nehing, men having sex, and smell bacon.

Vorpal whet wheel

Can sharpen anything to vorpal sharpness, but has a chance to cleave right through the object when doing this.

that cat call is op as fuck.

Mug of Booze: Magical mug that will refill itself with the last type of drink in the mug, but only if the user is blackout drunk.

>>23459198

>anything
>object
not
>any applicable item
and
>weapon
?

So I take it you can really make "Anything" vorpal with it? Arrows, sticks, trees, houses, leaves, flower petals?

Imagine someone sharpens thousands of flower petals, and then uses them as a very unassuming trap.

Wand of Slight Moistening - Makes something slightly damp. There's not enough water to get out of it, though, and if in a hot climate, it dries up immediately. It's enough to ruin the effectiveness of any rag, or make an individual feel uncomfortable. Unlimited uses (1/turn).

Sugar cane of malice.
If chewed, or refined and then consumed, this sweet plant will induce a very slight sense of being watched by something that's slightly annoyed with you. Also, every tenth grain of sugar will taste very blandly.

>>23459356
incredibly op when applied between foot and floor, due to its unlimited nature.

>>23459161
>implying man sex & bacon are abominations

Boots of the Seven Shores: An exquisite-looking pair of travelling boots that always feel like they have sand and small pebbles in them.

>>23459292
>Not vorpalizing your enemies' tooth brushes.

>>23459411
Ugh, I hate when my feet are slightly moist, or I step onto some moisture.

Sands of the East - A small vial filled with sand. When emptied, it will swirl lightly, and draw an arrow pointing to the nearest desert. If you're in a desert, it does nothing.

File of Grandeur
This nailfile will instill a completely unwarranted sense of worth within a subject. The effect continues until the user stops filing his/her nails, at which point the feeling fades.
The file always leaves a ragged end om the last finger filed.

>>23459421

Its a bible inspired enchantment. Maybe get a table of things the bible calls abominations, and each time someone plays the lute they get one of them in some form or another.

>>23459461

What about their hair brush/comb?

Extremely blunt warhammer

Hitting something with it causes the force to be evenly distributed across the entire surface of the object.

>>23459520
Like a regular hammer?

>>23458996
og god a lich with that as its falactury

Headband of Listening - When you wear this headband, you hear the nearest public speech happening. The further the source is, the more "fuzzy" the reception is.

sword of complimenting: gives you +1 to your attack every time you compliment your opponent, usable only once per battle, effect ends at the end of the battle

>>23459532
A regular hammer won't cause a watermelon to implode when you hit it.

>>23459520

I can think of so many uses for that. Just think of how well you could powder things! or smash small objects with perfect evenness.

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>>23459534
>falactury

Dude, what?

>>23459503
Ok but when did goats nehing become something that god hated ?

>>23459558
Gallagher would say otherwise.

Band of afterthought
This band, once wrapped along the forehead, grants the wearer a perfectly reasonable, economical and feasable solution to any problem, precisely five minutes after the solution becomes impossible or needless to implement

>>23459572

Clearly the guy just can't spell phylactery.

>>23459587

Its not them nehing, its that it implies someone is having sex with a goat.

>>23459559
if force is applied perfectly evenly, chances are the melon would contract slightly, then, depending on the internal structure of the melon and total force applied, either nothing happens, or it cracks open at an odd angle.
So for powdering uses, it would be much worse than an ordinary hammer.

>>23458589
Its something from Fallout, isnt it?

Twisted Flower of Fate: After you missed an opportunity to do something great, or fucked up miserably, the flower twists around itself.

>>23459597
I'd wear it. It would be like post-game rundowns.

fire proof cloak, cloak cannot be burned, fire passes through it

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Goat tower - An extremely alluring tower. Goats live there. You wish you could live there, or even visit it for ten minutes. There's nothing of note inside.

>>23459648
Xproof Y. Cannot be affected by X. X passes through it.

Ex: Waterproof boots, acidproof armor, etc.

>>23459648
Ohh god, that cloak is broken.

Imagine hiding a flamethrower in your cloak. They would never see it coming.

>>23459615

You are thinking to large. What about small objects, where the force the hammer imparts is well beyond what would be needed to powder the object? Or continuous materials? Smack a gemstone with it, powdered gemstone.

When it comes to an even continuous material, either the force you impart is enough to powder it, or it won't do anything.

As well what if you only want to break a weak internal component of an object, while leaving the object itself unharmed? The hammer would be perfect.

Beard of disguise-This false beard cannot be removed, except by the wearer. However, it looks fake as all hell, and other people trying to pull it off will hurt as if it were real.

Hat of Moderate Empathy

While wearing this hat you find yourself feeling more for other people and becoming somewhat more emotional.

ring of the incorporeal digit:
allows the finger wearing the ring to pass through any solid object when wearing the ring.

Potion of clarity, after drinking the potion it becomes incredibly clear that the potion didnt do anything

>>23459698
Where does the object, and therefore the force, end? If you hit a tree, does the earth also take the blow? What about a wall of brick in the ground, or a wall of ground?

>>23459638
Ballgag of humility
When carried, the subject will remember an extremely embarrassing and humiliating moment in time.
When worn, the subject relives it, vividly.

nipple cups of distraction: nipple cups must be worn by a male character, they distract all enemies for 1D4 turns for the first time the enemy sees them.

>>23459698
Could you forge coal into diamonds with even force?

Spoon of Consumption: When dipping the spoon into something, no matter what the substance it is dipped into it, it will come up as porridge with a small hint of honey.

>>23459737
Whatever's most convenient to the DM. It's magic.

>The Stairway of Uneasiness
Once you begin to climb the stairs you are overcome with a nagging feeling that you might end up falling down them

Ring of Strength: Wearer grains +2 to Strength.

powercord of frustrating length:
a power cord that will shrink or extend so that it will always be a little bit shorter.
It disappears completely if the device is right next to a socket.

>Fishing Spear +1: Has 100% chance of impaling a fish if thrust into any body of water containing fish. Has 5% of impaling a fish if thrust into anything that wets the barbs.

>>23459767
Incredibly useful.10/10 would buy instantly.

Armor of the emperor, functions as leather armor +1, but armor is invisable while equiped

>>23459767
God that thing would be amazing.

>Poison flavoring
Makes anything taste like poison.

>>23459766

I would suppose you could, but the amount of force required to do so is fucking huge. So it would be difficult to implement.

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Greater Caltrops

Amulet of Burning: Wearer is set aflame

Summoning flute
When played, summons a random creature from a random plane to another random plane. Always sounds slightly out of tune

finger cot of amazing texture: anything you touch through the finger cot will feel velvety smooth and absolutely amazing.

Chair of Speed:
When sitting in the chair your running speed is increased by +6

>>23459855
Oh dear god, I remember that thread. That thing was... I just don't know. It was horrible.

>>23459873
>play on it every evening for years, knowing that you have caused untold destruction and the fall of many great (and not so great) civilizations

>>23459855
You monster

>>23459885
Not even zombies deserve that trap..

>>23459924
Not even the princes of madness deserve that. Nothing is that evil.

Reverse coaster, coaster that when placed upon a surface will eventually cause the development of a mark similar to if a cold drink was sitting upon the surface. To prevent this one must place a cold drink on the coaster. The coaster also prevents drinks which have been placed directly upon that surface from marring it, unless the coaster itself is being used.

>>23459767
If you used that to spoon out your enemy's soft bits (brain, intestinal goo, crushed internal organs) and it turned into porridge, would it be cannibalism?

The shard of idiocy: Aura 4 square miles, -10 to intelligence and wisdom. PCs cannot finish sentences and must finishe them with Durh, err and what not... The shards radiation can only be diminished by removing all kinds of armor and destroying it butt nekid.

Unnerving mirror
When viewed, the subjects reflection always lags behind just enough that you just maybe perhaps notice it, through the corner if your eye. There is no other effect.

Amulet of Audience: Provides a laugh track, cheer track, boo track, or "aww" track, according to the situation

Peasant's Crown
Never stays straight on the user's head. Grants different bonuses to the usage of simple weapons depending on the total value of the wearer's equipment.

Equip value > 1000g : No bonus
Equip value 1000-901g : +1 to attack and damage rolls
Equip value 900-801g : +2 to attack and damage rolls
Etc.

>>23459818
>5% chance to pull a fish out when I stab someone.
I'll take a dozen.

>>23459767
Reminds me of Cugel's amulet, from Iocounu (who was rather upset with Cugel, and set on him a sort of geas requiring him to make a long, otherwise underprovisioned journey): it would neutralize all poisons and make any substance nourishing, but without affecting the texture or taste.

>>23459960
after which all people affected will be unable to recall the existence of the shard (including the person who destroyed it)

This is one that I actually used in a game:

The Rod of displacement: When activated, teleports the user 1d100 feet in a random direction(1d8 to determine first horizontal and then vertical orientation). If you teleport into the sky, falling damage applies, if you teleport underground or inside of a solid object, a hole big enough to hold 1 medium sized creature is created with you. The caster leaves behind a portal that can be entered to follow them for one round and there is another one created at the destination for one round.


Oh, the shenannegins that resulted from that item being used.

>>23459986
ILL TAKE FIFTY

>>23459983
What happens with negative values, such as a weapon I bought on a payment plan and then built up interest? I want to insta-gib a god with my lay-away broadsword.

>>23459983
But does the crown count itself against that value?

Wand of drunken enchantment. Enchants objects perfecting, following the exact intentions of the user. Causes the user to be heavily drunk, and act as though under the influence of of multiple drugs.

>>23460043
It would only count the value of the weapon. The amount of money you have or do not have is not relevant.

>>23460046
Nah, that would be dumb.

Orb of forgetfulness.

When touched the orb you will remember the last thing you tried to think about but forgot.
You will however forget why you wanted to remember it.

It can be abused pretty easily, but its fun nonetheless.

>>23460043
He said equipped value. If you are in debt, it won't count as you do not equip debt.

Deionarra's thighbone
When replacing a subjects regular thighbone (DC40 surgery check, extended), the subject starts being followed by a blue-green ghostly female who can't stop talking about closing the circle and love. Only the subject can see/interact with this creature.

Armor of Deception: black, ridiculous looking armor with huge pauldrons and spikes all over it. However, all ludicrous aspects of the armor are intangible, and it is for all intents and purposes a regular set of armor

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Fingerbox: It's a fingerbox.

>>23459032
NEVER GET AN STD AGAIN

>>23460094
pencil dick

A Scroll of Chant of Silence: A scroll that tells you how to sing the chant of silence, which can only be said in a very loud version of it via Tibetan Throat Singing

Amulet of resist diarrhea

all shits will be solid as long as you are wearing this amulet

>>23459032

how so...?

Helmet of Understandings: The wearer is granted the ability to understand all languages spoken in audible range - the sound is 3 seconds out of sync with the world

>>23460115
I guess anything that survives as long as a part of it remains, regardless of which part.

>>23458496
Oh jesus christ this one

>>23460069

What if someone is wearing cursed items which would require a sizable payment to others for their removal?

Hood of Small Wisdoms
Slightly magical cloth hood that gives the wearer a compulsion to intone a wise phrase whenever taken off.
Quality of wise phrases is propotional to amount of people in presence of wearer, with greatest phrases uttered when nobody is there to hear them.

the horn of fire: makes all liquids inside it taste like the strongest of alcohols, but only taste, not affects

>Bag of teeth: Enchanted baby teeth (4d5) in curious pale leather bag made of many small pieces. One put in the socket of a lost tooth will grow into a healthy, well-rooted tooth overnight.

>One put into any wound will heal 1 point of damage in a turn, but leave a hideous scar including a deep-rooted, deformed tooth (pulling it out causes 1 hp damage). Each tooth put into the body other than in a vacant tooth socket has a 1% chance of animating the wound as a mouth overnight, beginning an irreversible transformation into a gibbering mouther over 2d6 days.

>>23459424

I love this one, I don't know why. It's just so wonderfully useless that I know I'd wear it in a game and complain endlessly.

>>23459818
what happens when you stick a fish?

>>23459292
I want to play as a character who fights using razor sharp flower petals.

It's like something out of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

>>23460183

Sadly, it's literally something out of Bleach.

But you could Jojo it up and redeem the concept.

>>23458533
So help me god, one of them had better be The Broodwich.

>>23459520
Great, a hammer that couldn't crack an egg.

>>23460199
Just pump enough straightening ripples into the petals that they grow sharp. Joseph did it with hair and spaghetti.

>>23460246
Yeah, but the inside of the egg is completely scrambled.

>>23460256
scroll of thread derailment

>>23460199

Just because something is out of Bleach, or was used in Bleach doesn't mean it is innately bad. Kubo had some good ideas, he just has issues putting them together, and issues editing out the bad ones, and other things.

>>23460267
The insides will most likely be fine, as the forces would be perpendicular, and not cause "swirling" inside the egg. The egg might get slightly warmer though. Imagine cooking an egg through repeated hammer blows.

Clothespin of Superhuman Smelling
Regular-looking clothespin that gives wearer extremely accurate sense of smell, capable of smelling the slightest of fragrances. Must be worn on your nose, and other people will keep thinking that such an accessory is disrespectful.

>>23458346
Candles of Remembering: When burning, causes anyone who can smell them to be able to recall that moment with perfect accuracy, forever.

>>23460335
>>23458346
Burn them at the same time to melt someone's brain.

>>23459883

Love this one

>>23460271
How can I possibly use that?

>>23460347
Awesome!

>>23460405
the scroll will show the perfect words to cause any discussion to veer wildly off-topic.

>>23459809
I see what you did there.

Window of incorrect weather, when looking through the window it makes the other side appear to be experiencing weather of which it is not. Effect is mostly random, however fog often appears as a sand storm, rain appears as sunny, and sunny days often appear as heavy rain. The effect is not related to inside and outside, and it may be placed within a building between rooms.

>>23460439
I see, well that could be kind of useful to get out of talking about certain things.

>>23459701
Use the beard as a weapon.
>attach it to a foe's face and quickly use it to grapple them
>slap it on someone's face and use their beard to toss them off the side of a building/boat/whatever
>bind someone's hands and use it as a torture device

>>23459653
>There's nothing not of goat inside.

>>23460482
they could easily remove the beard themselves?

guardsmens amulet, wearer cannot rest or sleep but can become fatigued, can only be removed by someone wearing a shift managers ring

>>23460319
EGGSMITHING!

Drum of Time - When played, you will always be in time with whatever instruments are around you.
The only events in which you can accelerando or retardanto are when the music calls for it.

The want of triumph; it's user may win any game of tag anywhere.

Toe of Stubbing: character takes 1 damage whenever they come into contact with a wall or floor-resting object. Character cannot use footwear.

Sock of anti-stub: Normal socks on the outside, but you can't stub your toe while wearing them.
Blunt objects smashing your toes does not count--you have to accidentally kick an object to not feel anything. Purposely stubbing your toe results in pain.

>>23460668
I would move heaven or hell to have these socks.

The Deck of Many Nets; it's bearer may win any game without effort unless met with another such deck.

>>23460668
>>23460663
...

huh

>>23460548
Which is why "Quickly" and "bind their hands" was noted.

Imagine.
>you're just some guard patrolling your route
>this faggot strolls up to you and starts small talking
>before you know it, this guy has slapped you in the face with something horribly fuzzy
>by the time you reach for your face, you're being judo-thrown over the bridge you stopped on

A few days later, you've got yourself a strange magical fake beard, and see this faggot again.
>he is promptly arrested
>you bind his arms and slap the beard on him
>it can only be removed by him
>tie him up by the beard for a day as punishment

>>23460686
Total coincidence.

Book of accounting, when opened and placed next to another open book it copies it and shows a perfected record of any accounts within, marking clearly any mistakes within the original. May be used by anyone to check their work. May also be used to copy the information onto a second, blank book.

Newspaper of hard-boiled sleuthing: when opened, appears to be today's newspaper on one side, but transparent on the other side.

Um... Fart in a bottle?

>An indestructible bottle that contains a swirly looking brown gas cloud that cannot be used to store anything else.

Once per day its opening acts as an scare spell that doesn't have a HD limit on everyone in a 50 ft radius, user included. Everyone always fails their saves against it.
Nifty perk, undead (even incorporeal) elemental and other creatures that don't need to roll against poison also experience full efects.

Even after the effect passes, clothes smell like ass for days, the odor can't be washed from them by any means, mundane or magical; except if they are dinsintegrated.

A clever wizard may open this from a distance.

>>23461115
This becomes very interesting if the bottle is of a common shape.

Imagine swapping a wedding's champagne with it. Or a bottle of dwarven ale in the most crowded bar in town.

>setting it up with a corkscrew inside the top so that when the target opens a door or something, the bottle opens

You don't need a mage unless only magic can open it.

>>23460172

Fishception.

Skillful fedora.

A 40's hat of excellent quality that always seems to suit the wearer very well in front of a mirror (that is to the wearer and the people that were with him when first worn).

It provides a +5 bonus on a random skill (that changes each time the hat is worn, and the user doesn't know which skill) as well as a +2 bonus on diplomacy for as long as it is worn.

The wearer feels strange urges to speak in old tongues, compose poetry and behave as properly as possible. This may give him the option to take 10 on such skills even under stress; except when he fails a will save (see below).

>He experiences a penalty of -5 to intimidate checks and a penalty of -2 to will saves because nobody will take him seriously as long as he's wearing the hat, which makes him angrier. Enemies will have the compulsion to laugh at him as if under the Tasha's hideous laugh spell. This may throw the weare into a barbarian rage.

>>23461115

Things that force auto-fails with no HD limit are stupid. RAW this item would cause the archduke of pestilence himself to run screaming from the smell. Fun until your PCs abuse the fuck out of it and turn your campaign into a ridiculous clusterfuck of fart induced screaming every combat

>>23461209

Imagine using that when the emperor is about to receive his crown. All the advisors and the rest of the court closely packed in a large room. As the pope is about to crown the supreme ruler of the sacred empire, a faint farting sound is heard.

3 seconds later everyone in the room, ghosts included, trampling each other to death, trying to get away from the hideous stench. Young prince actually dies under the sole of the fatass bishop.

>What happened in there?
Shit man, just shit.

>>23459818
>if thrust into anything that wets the barbs
Must... resist... Charr joke...

>>23460161
That's... actually really freaking cool, I think I'll add that to my game.

Earlier today a namefag (Lektor) posted about a prank dungeon of his. I plan to institute one, and these will be rewards.

Sword of Compensation.
Enlarges to always be slightly larger than your opponents weapon.

>>23461878
>Sword of Compensation.
>Enlarges to always be slightly larger than your opponents weapon.
OP

>>23460019
Statistically, Ill take 20.

>>23460115
>>23460130
>>23458481
Chainmail is made of rings...

>>23461878
What happens when you put two against each other?

>>23462029
Chainmail of Invulnerable Rings
No matter how hard they try, the PCs will never be able to uncover how it was made.

>>23461907
Unless you're fighting a giant using a club that's bigger than you.

>>23462053

homosex

>>23462053
I guess they'd stop growing once one of them becomes unwieldable. If one person drops the sword because it's too large for him to carry, it'd probably not count as his weapon anymore, for the sake of compensation anyway.

>Glasses of Altered Vision

Round, big-framed glasses. Provides perfect 20/20 eyesight and far-seeing abilities to anyone wearing them. However makes anyone look and sound like the opposite gender to the wearer.

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Magic Bullet: Despite the name of this magical projectile, it can shift form to whatever type of ammunition the weapon firing it uses, be it arrow, quarrel, or bullet. Upon being fired, this projectile vanishes into the timestream, re-emerging a set amount of time later to strike the target. If retrieved from a wound, it appears as a normal projectile.

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Puzzle of annoyance:
It is impossible for the owner of this puzzle to solve it. However, if they pass it along for anyone else to try, that person will immediately be able to solve it by simply pulling the parts apart.
It's also indestructible.

Dices of Disservice.

A pair of d6 that provides a slightly higher chance of rolling a high number, however the more they are used the less do other people want to gamble with the user, even if they've never met him/her before.

>>23462228
Awesome tool for assassins.
Fire that shit from a crossbow at the intended target, then casually walk away and wait for that shit to reappear and kill your mark while you're celebrating a job well done at the inn.

>>23462273

Could lead to a locked room murder. Which would be hell for anyone to figure out.

>Arrow of Penetration

An arrow that, when it hits a body, ejects a slightly smaller arrow at the same trajectory and speed as the first arrow from the back of the body hit. In theory, this process could go on until the arrow is a micron across, given that there are enough bodies lined up.

Pretty Thread
This roll of thread seems to be perpetually bathed in sunlight. When used to repair clothing, the whole article of cloth starts to shimmer slightly. It's does not emit enough light to. even benefit someone with lowlight vision, but anyone can easily spot the wearer in darkness.

It also increases the value of the clothing by 1d3 gp, and any child that sees it will be slightly impressed by it.

The Stubborn Ring of Stubbornness.

The ring is clearly magical in nature, and attempts to determine the nature of its magic are met with stubbornness from the ring.

Anyone wearing the ring will become very, very stubborn. Convincing them to remove the ring is futile; they will stubbornly refuse.

The ring attaches itself permanently to the wearer's finger. Attempts to remove the ring are met with stubbornness. The ring can only be removed by severing the part it is attached too. The person wearing it will stubbornly resist this.

>>23464499
Hahahahahahahaha

>>23458310
Ring of Mage Armour.
Always on Mage Armour spell as per Pathfinder rules.
Only usable by: Fighter.

Potion of Imbibed Potion Knowledge: Upon drinking, you know the precise function of the potion you most recently drank.

Wand of Forgotten Function: Upon using it, you forget what the wand does. Its function still vexes academics to this day.

>>23464653
aw yeah, gimme the Loremaster ACF.

>>23464716
I mean lore warden.

dammit

>>23464670
I would kill for one of those fruit peelers.

I can't peel an orange without ruining it ;_;

Glasses of Invisible Sight: The wearer can see all things normally invisible as completely opaque and clear as day. ALL things. This includes mundane transparent objects like glass and air.

That cat-call whistle... reminds me so much of all the misery in dwarf fortress they cause...

>>23464793
I played a character once who would want that.

>>23458310
Rose tinted Glasses of Nostalgiac Comparison. No matter what game you are playing; no matter what edition you are currently using, the ones you used before will always appear to be better, more fun, or just right compared to what there is now. This cursed item is exceptionally hard to remove, or even admit that you wear for any long time player.

Horned Helmet of the Swansong

When the wearer is mortally, gives them a chance to sing a last aria, with at least one part of the song dedicated to the death at hand. At the end of the song, the wearer dies. Any fighting or other events taking place will move to the background, and won't affect the song, except for an audience of people for whom the song is directed, who are compelled to listen quietly.

Amulet of Hasselhoff

When worn, any battle or fight the wearer partakes in will be accompanied by large, colourful sound effect bubbles.

The Book of Apropos

When the book is opened, it will always open at a page that displays an apropos quote that fits the contexts of discussion at hand.

The Purse of Paying Taxes

The wearer of this purse will not need to consciously pay any of the taxes he is legally owed in his place of residence: they will be paid from his funds automatically at appropriate intervals, in such a manner that there is no trouble or hassle, and so that the tax-payer still has enough funds at hand for any reasonable expenditures that he should be able to pay normally.

Perpetual Bouncing Ball

an ordinary mold of rubber, formed into the shape of a ball. when thrown, tossed or dropped, will bounce perpetually unless catched by its owner.

Lost Wand of Reward

Whenever used this wand will instantly disappear and be transported to a location it physically fits within a 50m radius. Upon locating the wand you will see that there is a single copper coin touching it as your reward.

>>23464843
i could probably fashion an arrow from one and launch it at a barrel of gunpowder made of the same wood.

>>23464847
Refer to Order of the Stick to find out just how OP that thing could be.

or, in the comic books, toymaster threw one of those at superman. since it bounced of the man of steel, it created so much force, it knocked supes out.

The Fist of Fury
Looks to be a long rubber glove. Its properties manifest when the trigger phrase is chanted, which is "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. I wonder where my glove will go." After doing so, the glove will be able to pass any Escape Artist check, no matter the DC. Attempting to put spikes or something else sharp on it will result in a group of demons taking it from you and giving you a random magical item in exchange for the glove, which is now the most evil torture device ever invented.

>>23464885
I don't get why the ball would generate any more force for bouncing off of Superman than anything else.

But that said, let's say the ball in question will never travel any faster than it was initially thrown. How would one abuse that?

Amulet of Gazing Attraction

Anyone wearing this amulet will cause a person they maintain eye contact with to find them irresistibly attractive and wise.

The moment you break eye contact the person will be filled with feelings of embarrassment and self loathing for having their previous feelings for you.

>>23464938
supes blocked the ball. the ball bounced with the force equal to supes' blocking strength.

>>23464819
Damn WotC and their new editions! Magic items are not supposed to be found everywhere!

Toenail Sandals

These sandals cause the wearer's toenails to grow at the rate of 1 inch per hour while they sleep.

>>23464972
Was it a stationary block or did he smack it back? If he smacked it, I get it then gaining a ton of force. ...Aside from that Superman normally is holding way back (World of Cardboard and how he doesn't incur fatalities and all,) and going full-out on a bouncy ball isn't his style. And even if he did hit it with enough force to harm himself on the rebound, that would require a surface at least as tough as Superman to bounce off for it to hit him. Which I don't think are very common.

>>23465114
its a friggin comic book.
physics takes a back seat to whatever ass-pull a writer currently needs to advance a plot

>Starmeta
A metal with a silvery, oily sheen in many colors. When forged into items, it will display the vital statistics and character stats of the wearer...

...in the current edition of GURPS.

The Hat of Sight

This seemingly normal hat can be seen from miles away and through solid objects, so long as it's being worn.

>>23465251
You could really annoy people by wearing it anywhere remotely nearby. Get tired of that dumb hat obscuring whatever is between your eyes and the hat.

>>23464954
Amulet of grazing attraction
wearing this amulet will cause all herbivores to think you are a delicious bush of grass and become exceedingly hungry
breaking eye contact will break the curse and give them a feeling of embarrassment over the illusion

>>23460160
Poisoners dream
Could also be used to win drinking contests

ol'grandma sweater of discretion:

when you wear it you are invisible as long as you don't move. The sweater makes you itch no matter what you wear under it.

>>23465296
This is the most evil idea ever.

Hand of Replacement

An enchanted hand. After cutting off a hand, while repeating a simple spell written on the hand at the same time, you can put the Hand of Replacement on the stump and it will fuse and transform into a duplicate of the hand you cut off seconds before.

No other effects.

>>23459292
how would a vorpal house work, I wonder.

>>23464896
Make only one plank out of the wood and paint it a different color.

>>23465454
I get to walk through tyranid and xenomorph hives unhindered? Bitching.

>>23458547
So you become mute but with Morgan Freeman narrating everything you do.

I'm down with that.

>>23462438
FUCK YOUR PEASANT RAIL GUN

The Two Handed Sword

It's a sword. Made out of two living hands.
That punch people.

>>23467311
you know in some situations it might come in handy

>>23467311
reminds me of the pole-arm, except that was actually pretty useful

>>23460199
That was filler

>>23464670
>knock out enemy
>place bowl on enemies head
>look away

boots of empathy, every mile you walk causes the shoes your wearing to be switched with another random persons footwear, the effect continues until you find the boots of empathy again and put them back on and remove them

>>23467088
well it specifies that its just your hand that is allowed in, so i dont thik they would just let the rest of you walk around

>>23468740
Silly anon. Heads aren't fruit.

>>23468788
What, your dad never called you the fruit of his loins?

>>23468788
Who's to say it wouldn't? Every time a human interacts with it the bowl is being looked unless your unconscious and touching it. Could give it a try

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>>23467572

wet scabbard

a sword scabbard that is also a portal to the elemental plane of water, activating when the sword is taken out of the scabbard.

>>23465114
...Hence how the rubber ball would then be deadly, superman basically turned his punch into a ranged attack.

Glasses of the Author
While wearing the glasses, you understand all spoken and written language. However, you are compelled to narrate all your thoughts and actions aloud in the third person.

Shame my players just put that in their Bag of Holding for troublesome magic items.

Pebble of Piercing: A small, nondescript pebble. It does exactly one point of damage to whatever it's thrown at, whether it's a water elemental, a butterfly, an iron golem, or Lord Ao.

'Porting Pebble of Piercing: The same as above, but will randomly reappear in the thrower's possession. This can be anywhere from in their hand (if empty), to the inside of their ear (but not such that it would harm them or be difficult to retrieve), inside their pack, or in their shoe. The 'Porting Pebble of Piercing will never appear somewhere ridiculous like the thrower's rectum or inside of a water canteen.

>>23471595
get into fights naked with nose and ear plugs, then infinitely throw the pebble at whomever you are fighting.

>>23469801
Make it a will save to remove them, OR have them deeply narrate the removal of the glasses in order to do so. Narration must include the wearer's feelings about the situation and their feelings towards the removal of said glasses, and a vivid description of what they look like. If anybody at the table so much as sniggers at the description, they cannot remove them.

>>23471699
What if it appears gently nestled in your dickhole?

>>23471699
>pebble lands in rectum

>>23471752
>>23471759
>The 'Porting Pebble of Piercing will never appear somewhere ridiculous like the thrower's rectum or inside of a water canteen
ya'll need to do some o that readin more.

>>23471858
Ridiculousness is relative. And I think Fighting Naked would make the pebble appearing in such places not so ridiculous.

>>23471983
>(but not such that it would harm them or be difficult to retrieve)
did you even read the post?

>>23471983
It would just appear in the thrower's hand. Can't you folks read?

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>>23459051
Stat this

>>23473628
Tail of the Fox
+3 on stealth checks
-2 on diplomacy
Sense motive checks gain a +2 insight bonus against you.

>>23473628
Stat Ass

>>23458310
>Cat-Call Whistle: Summons 1d10 cats to the area.

Have any of you actually ever fought a cat before? They're bad ass. They will fuck your shit up. Try and grab it to snap its back, it'll claw the shit out of your arms and pierce your wrists multiply times with its teeth. Die of blood loss motherfucker. Claws will rend and tear your flesh.

>>23473873
since it doesnt even specify what KIND of cat, you could end up summoning ten tigers.
Or lions.
OR LIGERS!

>>23473873
Why would you snap a cat's back? Just grab it's head and start spinning.

>>23473628
Change Alignment:
Straightest Shota

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>>23474102
>>23473628
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nyHPIcbn88

>>23474163
ForeverPandering is a faggot

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>>23474163
Did this merely tickle your interest or more your...
Glandula prostatica
What a wonderful phrase
Glandula prostatica
Leaves you in a haze
It means no worries about lubrication
Lord we thank thee for our anatomy

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>>23473628

Is that Esh Esh?

>>23475552
Her work, yes.
Her very own sweet, sweet behind?
I doubt it, but greater wonders have bounced into my retina.

>>23459292
I'm imagining the scene in the wizard of OZ when Dorothy and the gang try to cross the field of flowers and fall asleep. But instead of falling asleep the flowers slice their legs open and they bleed out.

>>23475782
"Adventurers! We will release you if you can... SKIP THROUGH THIS LOVELY FLOWER FIELD."

>Gem of the sands
>This small orange gem fills its owner's pocket with sand when placed within. This sand is nonmagical, and can be picked up and thrown at enemies in order to blind them.

>The gem will refill the owner's pocket once an hour on the hour, and produces no more than a pound of sand at once.

Helmet of Forgetfulness
Forget the last thing you did

>>23476006
Helmet of Forgetfulness
Forget the last thing you did

>>23476030
Helmet of Forgetfulness
Forget the last thing you did

Thing of Indescribability

>>23476075
That's great.

>"The wizard rewards you with the Thing of Indescribability!"
"What's it do?"
>"Well, things."
"What's it look like?"
>"Not quite sure."
"Can I wear it?"
>"I guess?"

>Pants of invisibility
>These pants are invisible. No, this does not apply to you.

>They are slightly uncomfortable.

>>23476457
Should call them "Garments of the Emperor" instead.

Chickenstring.

A longbow that turns everything fired from it into a live chicken

A comb that always charges your hair with massive amounts of static electricity with every stroke

>>23458310
>Be druid
>Cat-Call Whistle: Summons 1d10 cats to the area.
>Command cats to attack
Seriously I cannot think on how this is silly. Having up to 10 cats means up to 10 attacks I can do in a single turn.

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>>23477184
Combs always do that to me. Fuckers.

>>23477254
obviously your hair is magical

>>23477239
Augmented summon and IDK mass haste from the wizard and you are looking at an army here.

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>>23475552
>>23473628
Oh wow, really?

>>23477239
Who said they obey you? They could just come to the area.

>Ring of Strenght +2
>Created by a dyslexic Wizard, this ring increases a wearers Strenght by 2. The wearers Strength is unaffected.
>Exactly what 'Strenght' means in what language is up to the DM.

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>>23477135

>>23477415
>Prepare a Speak with Animals spell
>"Dear friends, I have summoned you because I require your assistance. My friends and me are in a big danger, and we rely on you to save our lifes. I'll make sure you get a boost in the fight. Please, o mighty felines, help us."
>Roll for animal empathy
>???
>Success

>>23477519
>Prepare a Speak with Animals spell
>"Dear friends, I have summoned you because I require your assistance. My friends and me are in a big danger, and we rely on you to save our lifes. I'll make sure you get a boost in the fight. Please, o mighty felines, help us."
>Roll for animal empathy
>"Fuck that shit, i'm a cat"

>>23477519
>Implying cats can do any damage.
>Implying cats won't simply run.
>Implying cats can maneuver at all on a battlefield and get past any defenses.

>>23477626
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/cat.htm
>Claw +4
>Moves 30 ft
Having 10 cats can easily help you flank an opponent.

>>23460172
You could feed an entire nation by catching some fish and then hiring people to stab them repeatedlty with their fish spears until the fish couldn't be stabbed anymore.

Imagine a small fishing village. You wake up at the crack of dawn and take your fishing spear in hand and head down to the docks. A local fisherman has caught a decent sized trout, and it is hung in the customary stabbing position.

You begin your work along with five others, each stabbing your spear into the fish carefully so as to not cause too much damage to it. Every so often a completely new fish is spawned from your work on the end of your spear.

As these new fish are produced, they are removed to their own racks where less experienced stab men take up duty creating their own fish from those. You are skilled- an elder of the tribe- and only the most experienced and delicate of fish stabbers can work the first fish. As the first fish begins to deteriorate, you break for lunch and begin the ceremonial consuming of its flesh.

After lunch, the primary fish is replaced once more by another copy and the work begins again. It is close to nightfall, and you have produced thousands of fish to feed both your village and to sail upriver to the capital and be sold.

None in the capital realize that their fish are the result of sorcery.

Circlet of Cassandra

While wearing this, you will be perfectly able to understand how to best solve any political situation that you encounter. No one will believe a word you say as long as it is worn, and the solution to the problem with flee your mind should you remove the circlet.

>>23480334
Solution: write it down.

>>23480334
Actually, this would be more useful because of the second property, which's intended to make it useless. Say there are two solutions to a problem. You explain in thorough detail, while wearing it, why the bad solution is actually a good one. This forces the person hearing the explanation to take the good choice.

Extend this, and you have what amounts to mind-control, here.

>>23480295
Couldn't each "fisherman" just stab a bucket of water repeatedly, and in the comfort of their own home?

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>>23459292
VORPAL FISTS

>Archive of silly threads
Now with the "silly magic items thread"!
Vote here: suptg.thisisnotatrueending. com/archive. html

>>23480897
If you write it down not even you will believe it when you take the crown off. You'll just look at it and think "what the fuck was I writing?"

>>23480920
Belief =/= Action. You're never able to force anyone to take action, they simply think your ideas are stupid

Hell, I'll rewrite the thing a little bit:

Circlet of the Retard
As long as you wear the circlet, you will be able to perfectly understand the intricacies of any social or political situation and know how best to solve that problem.

However, as long as you wear the crown everyone else will perceive your ideas to be on the level of a gibbering retard that can barely speak and they will be ignored.

If you remove the circlet, the understanding vanishes. Any writing or transcription of any kind of performed while wearing the circlet will appear as stupid to you as it would to anyone else.

>>23480957
You want a bunch of stinky fish in your home?

Hell no. They do it at the fish stabbing docks.

Besides, the magical spears of fish creation are clearly a revelation from the sea god and deserve to be used in a ritualistic manner.

A magical hair pin that automatically styles your hair into a masterfully done, but completely random style, each time you pin it into your hair.

It goes back to how you looked before, if you take it out again

>>23464834
Swan song is OP as fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_47KVJV8DU

>>23459809
>>23460452

...I don't get it...

>>23459932

>Nothing is that evil

Whatis/b/.jpg

>>23459983

>Scoop up a handful of dirt
>Throw at enemy

+100 damage

Necromancer's Harp: Animates corpses but they sing in a horrid tune while moving and dance uncontrollably at times.

>>23481425
No, see, you just wrote a second, similar item. The Circlet of Cassandra is now existent and free to be interpreted however we wish. Now players will use it for new and interesting purposes while tossing your new one in a rubbish bin.

What, did you think creating magic items was a game?

>Express bearstyle

>>23458310
>Use the Cat-Call Whistle in a jungle
>1d10 Tigers pounce you
>Your fucking dead now

I just made up a talking wallet that has ranks in appraise. Might actually be useful to the party

>>23458496
>hideous, soul-wrenching sound coming out of nowhere
jesus christ how horrifying

>>23459292
Evem better: Baguette.

>>23459883
Players would just tie the damned thing onto themselves, in a seated position, you know this.

>>23484150

But that would be fucking hilarious

>>23460105
Actually, magic items resize. I'd say that's legit.

Though I'm not sure how the base of your penis being invulnerable makes you immune to stds...

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>>23459701
I like the cut of your jib hotman.

>>23460204
Thats the real eldrich truth, they're all THE BROODWICH

>>23458547
fuck having gordons voice i would rip my own vocal cords out to be narrated by Morgan freeman, regardless of who hears it

>>23460347
You remember that you forgot your line of thinking.

Forever.

>>23459488
>If you are already in a desert, good luck retrieving your sands

i couldnt think of any good names so i used a generator

Infinitum Hope
Majestic Aurora
Templar Galatea
Niagara Praetor
Galactica Hammer
Elba Baldrin
Calamity Arthas
Trafalgar Arizona
Endeavor Dark
Perilous Nightfall
Rising Hammer
Royal Paladin
Baldrin Providence
Goliath Apocalypse
Atlas Proximo
Geisha Liberator
Mace Torment
Unstoppable Ohio
Revenant Britain
Shade Zenith
Galactica Atlas
Alexandria Europa
Hannibal Loki
Dark Poseidon
Trinity Harpy
Pheonix Serenity
Shirley Buccaneer
Shade Executor
Glorious Exarch
Executor Montgomery
Damascus Spartacus
Manticore Exarch
Wyvern Hammer
Pinnacle Arden
Praetor Galactica
Sparta Untouchable
Victoria Endeavor
Vindicator Constelation
Ghunne Knossos
Liberator Trident
Rising Vampire
Centurion Aurora
Virginia Genesis
Unicorn Spartacus
Sparta Frenzy
Trafalgar Oregon
Orion Warlock
Dauntless Tennessee
Aurora Ripper
Philadelphia Dark
Ohio Storm
Battilion Oblivion
Andromeda Leviathan
Aurora Dream
Basilisk Revenant
Philadelphia Triumph
Guard Gauntlet
Perilous Geisha
Dauntless Devastator
Myrmidon Crack
Untouchable Spartacus
Storm Vengeance
Praetor Promethean
Revenant Exarch
Hellhound Independence
Unicorn Annihilator
Vindicator Invictus
Remorseless Independence
Conquistador Phalanx
Enterprise Independence
Liberty Duke
Pheonix Rampart
Arcadia Excalibur
Proximo Tyrant
Adder Behemoth
Apocalypse Rebellious
Voyager Thunderbird

got quite the list

>>23484573
>Unicorn Annihilator
I played that character once.

>>23476075
>>23476344
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sampo
No one knows what the fuck it is. But it's important, surely.

>>23485157
That poetry sounds like crap translated. Holy shit.