>>23833514
Is it casual Friday yet?

>>23833605
We have Witch Hunters at our doorstep and all you can think about is "Is it Casual Friday?"

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I propose a few of us kill them, wear their skins, and cause some trouble. Then the rest of us will heroically run them out of town.

>>23833514
Why i say we should tell them that some kind of evil magic is in doing in our guild and we need their help.
When they come in to kill them/us we strike out and say they invaded us on false accusations of black magic

I still say that we all just need to move to another plane.

First we make sure the local Thieves Guild is getting more valuable magical items from us than boots on the ground from them. Then we use them to influence the local post, town criers, and inkeeps to our side.

>>23833514

They've already struck first. In five years. Planeshift them to the elemental plane of fondue now as per-retailiation. The paradoxes will be worth it.

You know, our "good, clean Necromancers" keep talking about what a bad reputation they're getting from "those other Necromancers".

Can't we just point the witch hunters at "those other Necromancers" discretely, and offer them just enough assistance for some mutually assured destruction? Yes, yes. Not taking responsibility for our own problems, but I don't really have a lot of patience for their sort.

>>23833940

This one's on to something.

Mind control the Witch Hunters into shooting some apprentices.

>>23834095
Oh sure, let's just give up the Necromancers today and say nothing, then tomorrow it can be the Pyromancers' turn, and then the day after the Arcanists. I say nay!

>>23833514
So, more about this plot to ruin the Witch Guild?

Don't mind me, I'm just taking notes. What was your name again? I'm new.

>>23833912
Well, I've got the polymorph spells prepared and it seems a waste not to be relaxed for what could be our last hours...

>>23836524
No problem, my name is "Permancied True Seeing."

>No Damage
>Making Them Strike First

Pick one, sir. I recommend using illusion magic to make it seem like a peasant is one of ours, doing terrible things out in the forest so that they attack him. We have no use for crossbows, so after they shoot the poor fellow, we will simply drop the illusion and rat them out.

I would like to remind you all of two things.The first of which is that Witch Hunters are arrogant and stupid; getting them to act first will be easy. Secondly, being stupid, they are sometimes prone to mistaking alchemy for magic. As such, I will not be putting any of my students out in the field, but am willing to grant any additional assistance needed for ending this.

Can't we just point them towards those technocratic goons while we go the entire time dressed as normal, simple folk?
We get both casual Friday every day, and get rid off both our foes.

What if- No, listen this time guys, I swear.

What if we trick them into attacking a cleric instead of a mage?

>>23842585
I do not want any quarrel with the priestess of the Slutty Lesbian Lamia Goddess.

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I resent their accusations of witchery! I myself have nothing to do with those midwifing, cow-cursing, nature-worshipping bigots! These "hunters" need to be shown the true hunt. The fact that we as mages are inherently able to do so much more for the cause to stamp out witches. As to how to make them strike first, just raise their skeletons and walk them out of town with their skin attached and have them bury themselves after graciously leaving us with all magical equipment to be sold to fill our coffers.

I propose a discreet "accident" be arranged in which we claim several of our pet dragonlings escaped into the town sewers. We can hire a few of the most troublesome members of the Witch Hunters to head into the sewers to capture them through a third party with the promise of a great reward. What they won't know is that we'll have filled the sewers with fireball traps. We can deliver the burned corpses of the Hunters to the mayor as evidence of their incompetence and lobby to have them driven out of town. After all, if they couldn't handle a few dragonlings how could they be expected to protect the town?

>>23842585
What, like dress an apprentice as a peasant and have them goad a cleric into attacking him?

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>>23833514
Do we know that the Witch Hunters are violent? Couldn't we just bake them a cake or something?

>>23842722
I motion that we dress my apprentice up as a peasant and have him attack the local nunnery.

>>23833514
Spin doctors, you say? What do the two princes have to say about this? See if we can get the one with the rockets on our side.

>>23833912
The Medics have perfected their landmines and the illusionists are running around with very big rocks. It's done

>>23834095

Woah, hold on there, I don't think we need to start pointing Witchfinders and Witchhunters at fellow Adepts here!

>>23842894
Oh shut up. What's your solution?

When are we going to clear out the monsters in the basement?
They've started digging up the foundation!

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>>23842894
ah fellow comrade of course it bodes well for our art that you are here, these fools have been avoiding the issue at hand. I speak of course of the slicing of our funding and the tax imposed upon the importation of our materials.

anyTDes Arcarnanian

Excuse me, is this the Witch Hunter Guild? Am I in the right building?

>>23842922

Well first of all, not listen to Professor "Let's just have them kill our Spiritual Brothers and Sisters" nor listen to >>23842652 and HIS cunning plan of "Let's kill our spiritual brothers and sisters ourselves!"

Second we do not need to goad these bigots into action, or in turn let their presence make us act like a bunch of reanimated chickens with their heads cut off!

What we SHOULD do is, and I loath to suggest it myself, but we should come down from our towers and reassert what a boon to the community we are. We could divert some funds from the less important projects and experiences to boost our community service budget. For instance, we of the Undead Arts department (Though some prefer to still refer to it as the Necromancy department, I will remind you that this is not the case) could show our value as morticians and grief counselors by allowing people to talk to their recently departed loved ones one more time. In fact, we could more readily identify cause of deaths for the police department and they would LOVE us for it.

The point is, we remind everyone how wonderful it is that they have us in their life!

Could we just change ourselves into girls and 'convince' them to leave us be or protect us?

>>23843078
But everybody hates us. If given the chance they'd overrun us and slaughter us to the last man.

>>23843095
Not the healers

>>23843105
How's that funding helping you?

>>23843113
Fuck you son.

>>23843095

Well it sounds here like we have a public relations problem and not a Witch Hunter problem! In fact, this brings me to my next point: we kill all the Bards. They're really more pests than anything else, and I've been saying for years we'd all be better off without them.

>>23843063
Yes, you're in the right place!
Come with me down to the basement.

>>23843132
Why the bards exactly?

>>23843132
You're just out for revenge about the unflattering song regarding you and the wench's corpse.

>>23843135
Is the basement where we keep the cake?

Are we still this unsure of what to do? Between all of the faculty, we have the power to reset reality on a whim. I'm surprised none of you have even considered just blowing them all up yet, stealth be damned.

>>23843212
Do we have to have the presentation of PR again?

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>>23843132
Woah woah, My most esteemed colleague, I never ever said anything about killing the witches. I have a personal grievance with a few of them, but I never proposed action against them. Just the Witch Hunters. As for public relations, I propose we fund an adventuring party that would eventually grow to be known worldwide as a good and just party. We then reveal them as raised servants of ours.

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>>23843135
About time I walked into the right building! Last one I walked into was the brothel, and lemme tell you youngsters, they were certainly justified in throwing me out 'cause of how I found out where I was! Ehee hee hee!

So what's the plan fellas? We gonna put some alchemical-glue in a bucket and prop it on a door? Because I really liked that plan!

Now, gentlemen, isn't the solution clear? We need a Rank 9 greater daemon!
Now, I know what you're thinking, it sounds crazy, but hear me out.
We construct a number of magical tomes and artefacts of varying power and spread them around the countryside to those dabbling amateurs who call themselves wizards out there. Each of these are seemingly ancient (timeweavers, you could help with that, right?) and thus rather unstable. In other words, whatever is summoned can wriggle free of its owner. This'll attract the Witch Hunters' attention. Now, I know you're hesitant of selling out fellow practitioners, but those idiots make us look bad! They are an insult to oir proffesion!
Ah, anyway.
Here, the Witch Hunters will have their hands full, and naturally we help them to deal with these troubles. After all, we are the Mage Guild, the true experts on the subject.
Then, we let some incompetent dabbler find the Rank 9 daemonic summoning tome. The spell is obviously written to unbound the daemon, although weakening it a bit. Naturally, the tome then self-ignites, to cover our traces.
We fight the great daemon with the hunters, providing them the essential fire support they need to take such a beast down, and finally win their trust.
Of coruce, we might have to leak another tome or artefact afterwards, just to keep the need going.

>>23843186

They a song about me and a WHAT? Isn't THAT just insult to injury? Those Bards confuse me with my great grandfather, break into my tower while I'm putting my Quantum Sarcophagus through the standard tests, they beat me, steal my money and lock me in the damn Sarcophagus for THREE HUNDRED YEARS, ALL OF WHICH I WAS VERY PAINFULLY AWAKE AND AWARE FOR!

... Which has absolutely nothing to do with why I suggested we kill all the Bards, the filthy lie-slinging bastards.

>>23843212
Wouldn't that be... what's the word? Evil?

I mean if we go around killing things willy things willy nilly up we'd all be as bad as the damned Necromancers.

Er, no offense Prof. Gravebone.

>>23843232

I suppose it would be good for our PR...

>>23843234

Oh for the love of-- Can someone escort this sightless fool AWAY from the premises?

>>23843247
Ho ho! That's a great crazy summonin' person impersonation y'did there!

That reminds me: After last meeting I hired a kid to sneak into the quarters of one o' them demon-worshippers and pour a little holy-water on his gloves! I can't wait to hear what's gonna happen if he shakes hands with one o' them abominations he summons!

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HELLO IS WARICCK HERE AGAIN ONCE MORE OFFERING NOBLE SERVICE AS WARRIOR IN EXCHANGE FOR WOMEN AND OR ALCOHOL

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>>23843212
Elias, my friend! That was a particularly fine Silver Mountain Brandy you sent me last week! I meant to thank you in a most lively way for that. This is what I proposed earlier with just walking their skeletons out through the town.

>>23843299
Who're you callin' a fool, y'little ragamuffin? I might be blind, but I can hear well enough to outshoot those pansy Elves, so don't think you can whipser nonsense behind Blindy's back!

>>23843250
>>23843234
Yes, yes, follow me, both of you, right this way.
Mind the stairs...

>>23843274
I'm not suggesting we actually do that. I'm suggesting we stop trying to be so round-about and start discussing actual plans we can use to end this.

>>23843304
Here's a dollar. Go stab some Witchunters, we'll pay you for ears.

>>23843247

You just want us to divert more funding to the Extraplanar department! Also, this seems like a poor idea because the first thing ANYONE is going to think when a daemon is summoned is magic, which leads to wizards, which leads to me moving my tower to another city. Again.

>>23843318
Please, don't mind him. A bit addled in the brain he is.

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>>23843335
Can we try to convince them about pic related?

>>23843330
PR PR you idiots.

>>23843330
I HAVE NO NEED FOR PAPER I REQUIRE ONLY SEX AND BEER FOR SERVICES. CAN YOU LITTLE MAGIC MEN PROVIDE SUCH?

Can't we just increase the number of golems, and elementals we have as guards?

In other news, I found a buyer for automatic crossbows that shoot anti-magic bolts.

>>23843370
That seems unwise.

>>23843346
Nnn, typical. Takes me back to '43, when Barry 'Warbrew' O'Keel got a little mixed up in his age and killed through a forest weddin'. Thought the bride was a warlock in white robes doing a ritual! Oh Barry, y'crazy bastard...

Why do THEY have to strike first?

>>23843274

Bane. Gravebane. Racist.

Also, everyone suggesting that we kill or destroy the Witchhunters, think of how terribly the people view us already to how much they laud and adore THEM.

Though i suppose, in case SOMETHING happened, it wouldn't be TOO bad of an idea to have a skeleton army prepped and ready to defend us at a moment's notice.

>>23843354
Would you mind if we turned ourselves into suitable forms for the sex part of the services?

>>23833514

I say we disguise ourselves as Witch Hunters, perhaps with Illusion spells, and cause a panic.

Or, perhaps, we cast a spell on a random homeless to look like a crazy caster, and when they shoot him, expose them as the crazy killers they are!

>>23843406
Why are you even allowed in these meetings?

>>23843406
I HAVE NO WISH TO SEX WIZARD

>>23843382

What exactly? Clearly we could use the sales of crossbows to fund our production of golems, to protect us from people who have automatic crossbows that shoot anti-magic bolts!

>>23843419
HE WALK IN, LIKE ME. WIZARD HAVE BAD DOOR LOCK.

>>23843422
Why not just I don't know not sell the only things that can make all of our defenses useless and keep selling non-selfharming things. Like plows and vehicles.

Does no one care about that foundations?
I still don't understand why every experiment that goes wrong gets locked up down there!

>>23843370
Anti magic crossbows? I'll take nine, no, ten!

>>23843391
I agree wi' this fellah. We strike the pansy spellcasters first, we'll have the element of surprise. Just need to wait for 'em to make a bit o' noise and we can just say we're stoppin' them from summonin' a devil or somethin'!

>>23843335
Cyphas, I told you, the true issue here is funding! FUNDING!! All we need is a summer tower to practice our mutual art and let these poor poor peasants calm down.

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Can we wait till the Witch Hunters are having a meeting, fill the room with poison gas and wizard lock all the doors? I mean, poison gas leaks happen all the time. We can't be blamed for that.

>>23843435

I wasn't even aware we had a door lock.

>>23843450

Because I don't make plows and vehicles, but I do make anti-magic weapons and golems, I make a lot of golems. In other golem related developments, I have finally created my first fully functional graphite golem design, unfortunately it can only stay on fire for 30 minutes at a time.

>>23843470

Alright, I'll have a golem deliver them to wherever you need them. The golem must be payed in gold for it to release the crossbows.

>>23843435

What are you talking about? We have some of the greatest locks to have... ever... Oh no.

DAMN IT, THE THIEVES GUILD'S MAGICAL DEFENSE INFILTRATION EXAM IS TODAY!

BOLT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.

>>23843529
Mmm, playin' Wizard's Advocate to try 'n think what they're thinkin'? Clever one, you are.

Ceilin's pretty high though. Dependin' on whether or not the gas is lighter or heavier, they could get out o' cloud as soon as they noticed it. Unless it were invisible, but I don't think them bloody mages are clever enough to take that into account.

Speaking of funding, that would appear to be a problem. Our current Operating Expense account has all of: 1 SP 8CP, 1GP(Fake), and 1/2Goat.

Everything else got drained due to court ordered reparations over an incident involving an apprentice Pyromancer and a Orphanage.

>>23843473

Listen, I agree that the Undead Arts department is woefully lacking proper funding, and that a Summer Tower away from the City would optimal for practicing our art and allowing the students freedom to test what they learn, but that's not the issue now.

Getting rid of those damn bards is.

>>23843541
>>23843581
WIZARD
WIZARDS
LISTEN
WHAT IF
LISTEN
WIZARDS
WHAT IF
I KILL ALL BARD AND THIEF?

>>23843603
How do you feel about working pro-bono?

>>23843603
We'll give you half of a goat.

>>23843621
>>23843616
IS GOAT LADY GOAT?

>>23843132
While I agree with the premise, I must point out that we tried that in 572 CE, and the reaction was not positive. Either the locals were so ensnared by the Bards enchantments or, laughibly, they legitimately believe that bards are people.

>>23843632
With magic, yes.

>>23843632
We only have the front half, so it could be.

>>23843654
I AM NOT TRUST OF MAGIC, I REQUIRE GOAT ALL NATURAL WOMAN

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>>23843532
Oh, Cassandra, I missed you there! You never responded to my message wondering your interest in a collaboration in order to build a Flesh Colossus. I think that you are the only artificer I know with the vision to help me pull this off! How do you feel about making a Colossus! A TRUE COLOSSUS! Not seen in the world of Man since the old old days. As it is brought up here, anyone else interested in this project?

>>23843650
Pfeh, Bards are no fun to shoot anyway. They make so much noise I could hit 'em with my eyes closed!

Get it? Eh? Heeh heheheheheeeh!

>>23842385
But the bolts are anti-magic, so, ideally, if we just cast an illusion to make a peasant look like an evil wizard, and they get shot, it looks like they just shot an innocent person. Great idea, right?

I just wonder how many of the mages here have done 'unmentionable' jobs to put themselves though school.

>>23843674
The last time someone tried this magic was banned from three countries.
Admitiddly, they were small, but still!

>>23843674
Aye, but fellow arcanist, why no dick?

>>23843576
We actually paid that? Where were our lawmages? Someone call Denarious, we need an Economancer.

>>23843666
>>23843632
>>23843603


Your need of women... How do you feel about women who have been given a... "new-lease on life?"

>>23843745
WHAT MEAN?

>>23843674

I'm not much of one for work in the fleshy areas. Plants, spirits, and nonliving materials are more my area.

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>>23843721
I remember Drakman. He was a Loonie! He never would have pulled it off. The Man didn't even know Finger of Death for Lich's Sake. And besides, he razed those countries for the corpses. They were right as far as I'm concerned.

>>23843751
Dead girls made into magically moving puppets.

>>23843795
I CAN SEX?

>>23843751

Just that previously they were deprived of life and have now been given a second chance on it. Lovely, girls, really.

>>23843752

One could say both our arts require non-living materials! To be honest I've had a chance to look at Necrobro's notes and with your magic's reinforcement a new Colossus, the likes of which have never been seen before could be a real possibility!

>>23843795

I wouldn't put it like that.

>>23843795
Whiether or not they're dead is debatable.

>>23843807
Depends if they are rotting or not and if they do or do not have any terrible diseases.

>>23843839
I DO NOT FEAR DISEASE I WILL GATHER BARBARIAN FRIEND AND KILL BARD AND WITCH HUNTER

PLEASURE DO BUSINESS

>>23843809

I'm really a bad choice for the Colossus though, I am far more knowledgeable about positive energy than that of negative energy. Best I know about negative energy is the processes through which one might contain and conduct it, primarily for the creation of positive/negative energy annihilation engines.

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>>23843847

I think I've just made a huge mistake.

>>23843878

Ah, but see you're thinking about how to make it work, aren't you? Necrobro can handle the negative energies, and you the positive. Hell, I dabble in both energies and would be very glad to help see this project to completion.

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>>23843752
>>23843878
I know I know, I can handle the fleshsculpting, but I would appreciate you rendering the bones into the skeleton! Of course I would never need you to work with something that would be outside your zone, mainly I would also request bones to be reinforced against positive energy harm!

>>23843881
Why? As long as nobody thinks we're behind this, we have nothing to lose, right? Who would expect us to hire barbarians when we have enough magic to put out the sun?

There's a troll in the dungeon!

>>23843881

Well, you would've, if I hadn't stepped in and fixed your mistake. Again.

Ugh, the witch hunters again? Listen, in our country, the last time we had to deal with them, they were so obnoxious we had no option but move out to somewhere else while they were burning and hanging wenches left and right. Bunch of retarded, they could differentiate a witch from a warlock to save their lives.

What if we polymorph them into donkeys and pigs, so their body and mind matches?

>>23843926

Well, yes. It's still daylight. He needs to wait until it's dark out before he can come up and perform his usual duties, lest the sun turn him into stone. He's a lovely fellow too, always quick witted and a gentleman.

>>23843958
How do these people keep getting in here!

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Woah, woah, woah. What's wrong with you betamax faggots? We can't hunt magic deer in the area without you getting your dresses in a twist?

That's discrimination, you know. We have the right to anti-magic bolts and arrows. We're not hurting anybody.

>>23843985
Why shouldn't be here? Talking about witch-hunters, I have more experience with them than ñost of you, apparently.

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>>23843903
>>23843878
I'm very sorry my colleagues, I must step out for a few ticks. Some family business. My brother is a shadow you see, and he has escaped the family manor. I need to go recapture him before he shares his conditions with the town over in Matron's Hollow. I'm sure you all understand. Cyphas, you have my notes, I will leave my listener here while I step out.

>>23843913

I guess I could handle that. Some metallic inclusions should boost strength for the size, and I do have some metal from the plane of negative energy ready for that. For the reinforcement against positive energy I guess I could use a system like I do to contain the reaction in the annihilation engines. It would take a bit to figure out the best matirials to use in that case that will go with bone...

>>23844050

I'll need time to figure out what to use that won't otherwise interfere with the design in other ways.

Surprise inspection. Any unsavory happenings in here?

>>23844022
Helia. I thought you were busy dealing with the Thousand-eyed Order.

>>23843985

City ordinance 5.23 forced our two guilds to merge and consider us now the same organizations. I must say i'm not too distressed about sharing with the Witch's guild, to be honest... Unless you mean the broken door lock. I blame the bards.

>>23844026

I agree, you have every right to be here as any of us magic-users. In fact, I value your experience and opinions so much, I'd like to invite you to my quarters where we can discuss them further along with the many artifacts I've collected over the years.

>>23844050

I'll do what I can, Necrobro, but I have to admit that I'm not as skilled in crafting flesh as you are, as my expertise is in designing and crafting implements to help the undeath process.

>>23844022

You're certainly hurting the deer.

>>23844022
Fuck you! Last time you shoot one of my sisters who were gathering some herbs, good luck she was wearing her good luck amulet.

And those boots made you look fat.

>>23844094
It's turned out to be a congregation of Beholders. Easy pickings. I just threw a bag of holding into a portable hole. *swoosh* Down the hole they went.

>>23844099
Deer aren't PEOPLE turbonerd. I thought this was a Mage's Guild, not a Druidic Circle.

>>23844094

Would someone PLEASE fix the lock on the main doors? This is getting ridiculous now!

>>23844142
Yeah, well, your 'sister' deserved it for being a scum sucking Witch.

And you look like some Ogre oral defecate.

>>23844145

Hey! As leader of the Alchemist's Assosiation, I am aware that that story is a complete fabrication! A bag of holding into a portable hole will not suck anything external into the unit!

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>>23844145
Using a magic item to dispose of magic-users? Unorthodox, but then again it *did* get the job done.

>>23844165
If you have nothing to hide, then you won't mind your new guests.

>>23844165

Why bother, last time I recall us actually having a working lock the door was removed because someone couldn't get in, and they decided to toss the door into some other plane.

>>23843921
Can we just go ahead and put out the sun? Then all the witch hunters will freeze to death!

>>23844145

Druids who turn into Deer are still people, Helia Mageslayer.

Wait, are you related to Thurnabuis "Rock Steed" Mageslayer?

If so, your ancestor killed my Great Grandfather, Cassius Gravebane, also known as "Bone Giant", "Terror Father", and "Grand Funk Master." This was, obviously, a bit before your time, maybe 350 years ago now?

>>23844145
You are correct, this is a Mage's Guild. Like a number of people who intrude here, you are on Mage Guild property and are therefore trespassing. Please leave immediately or we will be enforcing Ordinance 83.7-B, AKA "The Right to Magical Sanctuary," which will end with your incarceration via every mage in the building.

>>23844237

He's making that up, you couldn't get a quarter of the mages to lift a finger to do such a thing, let alone all of them.

Guys, you want I should ask one of the big tentacley guys to intervene? Star-Eatin' Steve owes me a favour.

Also, where's the buffet? Don't we normally have a buffet at these things?

>>23844212

On what authority do you grant yourself the ability to enter private schools, brandishing lethal weaponry, and act as if we are somehow criminal? Privacy should be reason enough to not want uninvited guests, and I use that term lightly, to swagger on to our premises acting as if you are some great hero rather than the blood-soaked murdering bigots you are.

>>23844255
Whose side are you on, anyway?

>>23844022
I say antimagic bolts are discrimination against mages.

I mean, their mere existance is a symbol of oppression to the downtrodden wielders of the arcane, and I am sure I do not speak for just myself when I say that we will not stand for it!

>>23844255

Ask yourself, Cassandra. Helping, or hurting?

>>23844188
Yeah? Better to be a "bad looking" funny-engrish speaker than an ignorant biggot like the speaking donkey you are!

That is, come at me, I will teach you a thing or two. As our leader said: "You don't fuck with a witch".

>>23844287
>>23844304

I'm on the side of profit from the sale of anti magic weapons, and the side of not having to bother doing things I don't want to do.

>>23844271
With all due respect, most 'private schools' aren't filled with malcontents who endanger the wellbeing of entire towns with short-sighted attempts at making reality their plaything. We have every right to be wary of such a dangerous faction as the Mage's Guild.

Oi! Where'sss the beer!?

Sorry I'm late to the meeting. Some strange men with trench-coats and crossbows tried to accost me so I blew up their hunting lodge or whatever it was. What'd I miss?

>>23844422
I dunno! Can't find the bloody buffet either! Standards have really slipped since I came back from the Outermost.

>>23844099
Oh, visiting your collection of artifacts would be a stimulant topic. Mind you tell me what would you consider to be your most interesting object?

>>23844345
>filled with malcontents who endanger the wellbeing of entire towns with short-sighted attempts at making reality their plaything

Stereotype much? This is an absolutely false and ugly image painted by people who don't understand magic and and fear it from that ignorance. Many wizards are well-adjusted and reasonable, and our schools are designed to deflect magical harm AWAY from the standard populace. These schools EXIST to house any young potentials who do not yet understand the power they wield and we teach them to utilize it responsibly and at the benefit to the community.

These schools also exist to shield them from the real malcontents, the ones whose hatred and fear has made them bloodthirsty and paranoid. The ones whose lust for violence knows no bounds. Those that would turn their aggression on these young adepts. People like you.

Witchhunter, I call you false. You're no better than a bard.

>>23844429
Whelp.

All in favour of cutting our losses and nuking them all? We can say that those cultists of hanging around the town centre did it.

>>23844437
>>23844422

I think people stopped partaking of the beer and buffet after the alchemy department started using it to test potions. So that caused people to stop providing it.

>>23844437
This be the vurst ta'ern since they closed ye olde barbershop!

>>23844449

Well there's two contenders.

The Amulet of Agnaroth, which was once used to seal away the Best of a Billion backs.... Or My dick. Perfectly persevered and maintained for centuries. Really, it's more sentimentality that allows it to hold a special place on my shelves.

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>>23844197
I'm too busy to remember the exact order you have to shove one bag into the other to make an extra-dimensional grenade.

>>23844226
See, this shit right here is why we kill you whizzards.

>>23844227
Haha, yeah, we pass that story down generation to generation. Good times.

>>23844237
"Right to Magical Sanctuary" only covers to right to practice, and a place to practice, it doesn't cover regulatory forces, or inspections.

>>23844298
And I say necromancy is discrimination against the resting dead. And that fireballs are discrimination to frost giants.

They're a necessary safety for the common man against you power crazy hobos.

>>23844310
I would slap the shit out of you, but I don't want to get Witch slut on my new gloves.

>>23844429
I guess Sir Jonas and I are the only hope against you magical menaces now.

>>23844452
But enviroments such as this are normali--

Did you just call me a Bard?

>>23844493
I still don't understand why they would store away the best of a billion backs, they should of just gotten rid of the worst ones.

>>23843985
plot convenience

>>23844471
I do not particularly recall this issue. On an unrelated note, I hope you are all enjoying the coffee I brewed up, and I will assure all of you that I have not added anything to it that you would worry about.

Look can't we just resolve this peacefully

I'm sure the Witch Hunter Guild doesn't hate every single wizard in town

>>23844487
And now, there's bloody Witch Hunters all over the place. And they're not even wearing those lovely supportive bodices! Worse than the sodding Tarrasque-cockroach infestation that the biomancers made, I tell ya...

>>23844514
What are you, the leader of that gang of miscreants and thieves? It was their fault for "confiscating" my heavily guarded book of smu-... research. I warned them not to open it, now I have to gather more por- research. On Runes.

>>23844570
Coffee? Who wants coffee? We need liquor!

>>23844533

No, he said you're worse than a bard.

>>23844540
I thought you lot died out in the Librarium Wars.

>>23844514

You are neither a regulatory body nor do you possess legal authority to perform an inspection. Also, no hard feelings on my Grandfather. He ruined the family name and I've been working hard to restore it.

>>23844533

No. That'd be an insult to bothers.

>>23844597
I'm the director of what used to be the local Witch Hunter's chapter that you just destroyed, yes.

I'm going to plant a scorpion in your bed.

>>23844581

Sure, that's why they've come in here to provoke a fight.

>>23844653

It was after your members accosted him and attempted bodily harm. What I see here is a clear cut case of self defense and a wildfire that no one is responsible for.

>>23844657
Maybe they just wanted to psyche us to participate on the local chess tournament!

>>23844653
Don't worry sis, you will surely get new people to play on the chess tourney!

>>23844514

I know a large number of druids who would be willing to provide you with a fair price on reincarnation spells. Provided you stop hunting deer.

>>23844653
Scorpion? Ahh.. now that's a fine spirit...

>>23844514
But you're already wearing them! You couldn't get more sluttiness into them even if you try.

>>23844493
Your dick?

You want to take a female into your room to introduce her to your dick. Literally. I think, yeah, I just remembered I have something else to do, my hair, yeah, I have to wash my hair.

>>23844653
I think you'll find that your bed will contain something altogether more subtle.

>>23844684
Oh, trust me lad, the Chess tournament is much worse than this. Last match I saw, twenty-eight people died. The memories...urgh...

>>23844709
Ulfric, you do realize she is homeless right now?

>>23844653
That's a funny coincidence! Just before Ulfy showed up at your lodge, I did the same thing, but with scarabs!

Two drops of water, aimed at the moon,
Drawn to the lips by a silver spoon.

I have been summoned.

>>23833514
Wait.

No.

Okay. I've got it.

We get all the magic waste we're currently collecting, gather it for a week, mix it with a little pure thaumite dust, and then seal it in thaumo-dampened barrels.

Then, we throw them into the sewer systems, and I manipulate the liquid flow so that they're propelled underneath the Witch-Hunters' Guild building, where I'll subtly beach them and crack them a little.

Over the next few weeks, they'll have magic permeating their entire building. Subtly at first, and then, as it builds, a little more dramatic.

In the end, it'll likely begin manifestating as magical mutations within card-carrying guild members - which their knee-jerking colleagues will interpret as witchcraft, whereapon they'll tear each other apart, perhaps even with their newfound thaumic resonance as an additional weapon.

They'll surely make enough noise so that we can calmly point out their shenanigans with the city council and shake our heads. They'll inevitably point the finger at us, but no wizard need ever step anywhere near there in this plan, and the barrels are easily washed away.

Damn, I'm good.

I HAVE ARRIVED! EARLY AS I ALWAYS AM! FOR I AM THE CHRONOMANCER!

>>23844640
Well, I'm going to be the big man and ignore that. Moving on...

What you fail to consider, Magister, is that this guild though well-intentioned is providing anybody with a spare set of robes access to the knowledge and resources required to conjure creatures considered 'unholy' in the eyes of the orders that I and Helia hail from respectively.

All it takes is one malevolent pupil or one clumsy attempt at summoning another demon you arcane-addled types *think* you can control, and it shall be the Siege of Mount Targor all over again. Which is why we are frustrated, at your... 'open' attitude to magic-users. You should be getting rid of such unholy scriptures and teaching your pupils not to meddle with forces they cannot comprehend, not wasting the King's money on teaching them to meddle with even larger forces.

>>23844640
Well, obviously the Regulatory hasn't been doing their jobs, since you just blow-up buildings willy-nilly.

>>23844680
'Wildfire'? He admitted to blowing it up.

>>23844705
You're right, I made them out of your mother's skin, real, 100% troll.

>>23844709
Too bad I know how to read explosive runes.

>>23844729

I point you to

>>23844429

I am sorry for any disappointment.

>>23844731
Oh look who's late.
Again...

>>23844717
Oh, it wasn't so bad, i'm sure it was a fun match in the end with all the dragons, knights & eldritch abominations being thrown around

>>23844740
>Forgot my name. Cuntwaffles.

>>23844731
A Chronoma--... Dare I ask what *you* specialize in?

HEY GUYS?

I JUST MADE AN ARMY OF GOLEMS THAT CAN PROJECT AN ANTIMAGIC FIELD WITHOUT DEBILITATING THEMSELVES, AND I INSTALLED ANTIMAGIC MINIGUNS ONTO THEM. AND THEY CAN FLY AND HAVE AN INKLING OF SELF-AWARENESS! I WANTED TO PUT IT IN SO THEY COULD FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING USEFUL MEMBERS OF SOCIETY AND TAKING OUT MY TRASH!

EXCEPT THAT THEY'RE NOT SO MUCH INTERESTED IN FIGHTING WITH THE REMAINS OF MY VOLATILE EXPERIMENTS. THEY'RE JUST KIND OF TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN A BEEPY LANGUAGE.

DO YOU THINK THIS IS GONNA BE A PROBLEM? I DON'T WANT THEM TO FORM A UNION OR ANYTHING.

ALSO, CAN ANYONE PULL MY VOX MAXIMUS DEVICE OUT OF MY THROAT? IT GOT STUCK THERE AFTER I CONFUSED IT FOR A COOKIE.

>>23844731
Arthaus you look younger

>>23844767
I AM NOT LATE FOR I AM... oh sorry voice spell.

I am not late for I am a chronomancer and I arrive early to whatever I must arrive to.

>>23844767
He looks younger than last I saw him. And why is he wearing his trousers under his hips?

>>23844772
Time Sorcery. Liable to rip apart space-time.

>>23844777
No, I'm sure it'll be fine.
Just have them go perform menial tasks and if they refuse order them to self-destruct.

>>23844741
As I said your boys merely read some sensitive... information of mine and paid the price for it, despite my warnings. In any case as Ohtto pointed out you seem to be rather lacking a bed at the moment what say we call it a truce.

>>23844705

My dick is perhaps one of the most awe-inspiring artifacts in my collection! I suppose it's hard for people outside the Undead department to truly appreciate.

>>23844684

Ohtto, There are times when I truly appreciate your steadfast optimism. Now is not one of those times.

>>23844731

Why is it that all time dabblers are consistently tardy?

>>23844740

Sir, we are a self regulating body. Do you think we do not notice when our students are experiencing social maladies and that we don't take steps to curb irrational and malevolent behavior? Before you say anything, we do. We've successfully guided countless of potential evil sorcerers to become mages who lead full, rich, and productive lives/unlives.

Furthermore, we don't give a dog's tick about WHAT your orders think and believe because it usually begins and ends with a sword through a wizard's sternum.

>>23844749
...I liked my plan. I always seem to arrive too late to things which wouldn't be best solved by just drowning or flooding something.

Oh well.

What else am I missing today?

>>23844777
Mage Hand!

>>23844785
>>23844797
Minor side effect of my apprentice learning to time travel. She didn't secure her anti-chronoton field and I got a small dose of anti-chronotons securing it right before it knocked her out. Luckily I managed to secure it and land us safely.

And I could age myself, but I prefer to let it come naturally. Makes me remember that time affects me.

Wait where is my apprentice? Damn it I'll be right back.

>>23844849
The buffet. And the alcohol.

I'VE ONLY GOT ONE LEFT, AFTER THAT INCIDENT WITH THE THAUMASAW, I DON'T WANT TO RISK MY GOOD ONE. I JUST INSTALLED A MULTITOOL INTO IT.

GOT THIS NEAT GIANT IRON CRAB CLAW THOUGH! IT'S GREAT FOR OPENING JARS! AND IT GLOWS WHITE HOT FOR WHEN I GET CHILLY IN MY WORKSHOP!

COURSE I HAD TO GET USED TO PICKING MY NOSE WITH MY OTHER HAND AFTER I BURNED MY FACE OFF, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.

>>23844639
I assure you, the city of Tropes still survives.

on to more pressing matters, the antagonists are incable of harming any of the main ca- sorry. the witch-hunters are literary incapable of harming any of us who have introduced ourselves

>>23844812
Oh don't worry.

Everyone knows Time Sorcery is just some thing people think is all that powerful, but in the end is just too weird to fully control.

I mean look how harmless Arthaus is! Do you think he could do stuff like rip out reality by itself? The worse chronomancy can do is bringing weird eldritch abominations that could maybe only feast on the souls of the living beings of this world

>>23844849
No one appears to care that the foundations are being destroyed by all the experiments they keep stuffing down there and at any moment the building could collapse, besides that? We've stopped serving beer and the buffet is closed.

>>23844836
Nothing short of preventing the use of arcanery alltogether will be sufficient for this guild to be considered 'self-regulated', but that's apparently just my opinion, and not the Order's.

So tell me. What is *your* school of specialty? I presume with all your talk of regulations, it must be something quite benign, no?

>>23844890
And vice versa?

ALRIGHT SO I JUST CAME FROM 30 MINUTES FROM NOW AND WELL BAD THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

SOMEONE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE THE TARRASQUE A WIZARD! AND BY SOMEONE I MEAN IT WASN'T ME!

SO BASICALLY YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

Also I left my hat so I needed to get it. Later!

>>23844919
See?

I mean it's only a Tarrasque that cast deadly spells!
Truly a harmless man

GREAT NEWS, I GAVE THE TERRASQUE MAGIC

>>23844941
Congratulations!

>>23844929
Did I mention it's on fire?

Yes some genius pyromancer thought that turning it into a sentient portal to the plane of fire would solve the problem.

Where is my hat?

>>23844919
Everyone knows that chronomancers can't create a paradox.

Go to bed, Arthaus, you're drunk.

>>23844868
>>23844905
The buffet? Damn and blast it all, I always miss the mini-pizzas! Arthaus, could you send me back t-
>>23844919
...oh.

>>23844919
Well, you heard the man. Surely it's the duty of you "Witch Hunters" to deal with this impending mess. No skin off our bones if Divination can't figure out who did it before it happens and you kill each other.

>>23844948
I'm sure in Riccardo's head the plan would work perfectly!

>>23844946
Thank you, now I'm gonna teach it fireball!

Have fun killing the Wizard Terrasque!

The Witch Hunters guild isn't helping, because, our local chapter just mysteriously exploded~.

Bye.

>>23844905

I'm fairly certain that we have a secondary support structure made of immovable rods, so building collapse isn't much of a worry.

>>23844979
I'm sure you can do it!

Tarrasques are after all, really smart creatures!

>>23844997

No, they only have three derived intelligence units; barely sapient.

>>23844993
That's the thing, someone created a creature that eats immovable rods!

Guys I can't find my hat?

Oh wait, found it! Hey someone left a deck of cards in here.

Anyone want to play cards before I leave?

>>23844986
Now that she's gone, we can solidify our place amongst the populace by stopping the wizard Tarrasque right after it starts rampaging, and telling the King that the Witch Hunters selfishly abandoned the area in its time of need.

>>23845018
Like i said

Really smart creatures!

>>23844948
Well, there's at least ONE productive thing I can do today.

Has anyone seen my case of unlabeled but totally safe scrolls? I can't seem find them anywhere.

>>23844986
I do hope she likes the surprise I slipped in her trench-coat.

>>23844997
>>23845018
Not anymore, I cast owls wisdom on it a few times with permanence

>>23845028
Cards? I'm in.

>>23844986
HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS, WAIT! CAN I INTEREST YOU IN AN ARMY OF ANTIMAGIC AUTOMATONS? THEY KEEP MAKING ME HIT MYSELF WITH MY CLAW ARM. I'LL SELL 'EM CHEAP!

>>23844986
Of course. THEIR Order has the option of retreating.

Thrice-dammed code of honor.

>>23845038

You are aware that Owls Wisdom only gives it two derived *wisdom* units, not intelligence units?

>>23845038
How on Earth did you pass the entrance exam?

>>23845039
Hmm these cards look funny. I swear I've seen them before...

Oh right these are my cards. They had a special name too, the deck of many stuff?

Oh well. Where's my hat?

>>23845057
I could planeshift you somewhere away from here.

>>23845019

Well that may be worrisome, I suggest we send the Tarrasque after it for training. I'm sure it could use the practice.

>>23845060
Close enough
>>23845066
I swear it has nothing to do with this lute I'm holding

>>23845068
Can I be the dealer first?

>>23845052
Ooh, ooh, are they waterproof? I could get them to build me a city under the waves, where they could live in peace - and I could visit them on new moons!

Hey guys, does anyone know where registration is?

Rolled 4

You guys had a guild meeting without me? Why does no one invite me to these things!?

>>23845103
Go on the left door to the right sir Tarrasque

>>23845103

oops, got my name wrong, sorry, I'm new.

>>23845079
Send me to the plane of never-ending inns, will you? I think I'll just put a 'pass' on this guild and call it a night.

Make it look like an accident, if you don't mind.

>>23845091
Sure.

Actually, I have to go to do something, it involved a giant monster or something.

Anyways I'll be back later. Don't get yourself killed. HEY SOMEONE LET IN A DRAGON! Is that an Orange dragon, are there orange dragons?

>>23845104

Because you need to master *something*. Even the person who made the Tarrasque sentient is master of stupidity.

>>23845099
I DON'T REALLY KNOW - OW - BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T TRY TO MAKE THEM TO TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE - WUGHK - THEY REALLY DON'T LIKE IT - HWAUGHK! IT BURNS WHILE IT HURTS!

>>23845112
Thanks man, I hope I get in, joining the mages guild has been my ambition since i was born.

>>23845123

No. It is obviously a half-red dragon yellow dragon.

>>23845143

I do think it's a half-yellow dragon red dragon.

>>23845135
I believe in you Sir Tarrasque!

I'm sure you will one day become a great wizard

Rolled 5

>>23845129
Well, I've mastered Nothing. The literal and methaphysical accumulation of nothingness. The void that isn't. That's my mastery. That, and I stopped being a Master of things looooong ago in order to WRITE the accords of this guild!

>>23845143
Isn't there a rule against that?

>>23845135
Oh hey the orange dragon can talk. Orange dragon are you an orange dragon or a half yellow, half red?

Also are you fireproof? HEY CAN WE GET A PYROMANCER TO SEE IF HE IS FIREPROOF!?

>>23845123
Hey I'm Tarrasque, I'm new, I'm not a dragon though.

>>23845038
Dad, you are drunk, go home.

>>23845157

No, it's obviously a half-red dragon half-yellow dragon white dragon. So it's one-and-a-half dragons.

>>23845173
I don't like where this is going...

>>23845175
I may be a little tipsy

>>23844912
those who have introduced themselves can't harm each other unless the forces guiding the victom's actions allows it to be so. However, those who have introduced themselves in this location CAN harm any who have not and vise versa.
I am just summarizing the 2nd Law of Plot Armour

>>23845135
It shouldn't be hard.
After last meeting when it was decided to make the takers of the exam the judges as well, to save time, we've had a huge increase of members.

>>23845122
I'll have to send you through the Realm of Orphan's Nightmares. Try not to interact with anything.

>>23845215
Been there, done that. Just need a mug of ale and a nice bed to slee--

*PHTOOMPH*

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>>23844910

No one asked for yours or that of your orders' opinion on how we run our school. And I'm sure if you took a closer gander at me, and consider my age, you could discern for yourself what school of magic I teach.

Now, before you begin to tell me all the ways my art could be misused, based on woefully ignorant hearsay, consider that you not only hunt down and murder people (and their families on more than a few occasions), but you also train and encourage other to do the same.

>>23845190
It's okay Sir Tarrasque!

I mean, what if in the end you're indeed a half-red dragon yellow dragon who is fireproof?

A truly beautiful species!

>>23845131
Ploosh, ploosh, Atlantis reborn! Tell them to meet me at the Lahnbey Coast tomorrow.
>>23845175
Oh hey, it's a Bowser! I know Bowsers.

Hey, remember when I was accidentally sent to the Elemental Plane of Bowsers a few months back during a guild meeting, and ended up inside the gut of one of them?

Good times.
>>23845200
I have been stabbed repeatedly by rogue members and brought back from the brink by white mages during meetings, years ago before I mastered Aqueous Body. Where does that slot me in?

>>23845199
Oi, Bard! Play a song, the one abo't that argonian! The 'usty one!

>>23845123
Hey, you dropped a card-
>Gibbous moon, 3 wishes to be used within 3 minutes.

Oh boy, I use one wish to revive my dog who died in a mysterious accident and the others to give the Tarrasque +2 bonus to intelligence.

Huh, turns out I am fireproof. The world sure is a wonderful place hey guys?

Oooh, I feel weird, almost like my gaining sentience is having an exponential resonance in my sapience lobe that is creating an expedience in brain capacity... but that would indicate that my expiration would occur momenta-

>>23845235
I sent him to the Lands of Slightly Out Of Date Cheese and Hookers. He'll be there a while.

>>23845240
Yes.

It is part of the exam also. APPARENTLY WE'RE SHORT ON PYROMANCERS! I remember when this fighter's guild had more pyromancer!

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>>23845249
I'm not a bard...nope, no bards here

>>23845281
You have such a comfy looking coat!

Can i borrow for a sec?

>>23845281
If you be no bard, why the long face? HAR HAR HAR!

>>23845295
Why if I may ask, it's quite a nice coat, and I'm loathe to part with it

>>23845307
because...I'm a horse...neigh

>>23845265

Oh. good. I like that.

>>23845281

Well, that's good. You see there's nothing I despise more than bards. They're filthy creatures who do nothing but bring misery and woe to those around them to try and cover up their own insecurities. They're also well known to be liars who especially have been known to bloat the number of bed partners they've had, which is usually zero.

I HAVE ARRIVED! EARLY AS I ALWAYS AM! FOR I AM THE CHRONOMANCER!

AND MY APPRENTICE IS HERE! WAIT GOSH DAMN THAT VILE GIRL!

>>23845320
163, just saying. But I'm no bard, so it doesn't matter.

>>23845261
BY THE GODS IS THAT A FLAMING TARRASQUE!

DON'T WORRY I'LL GO BACK AND WARN YOU ALL SO WE CAN PREPARE! WAIT WHERE IS MY HAT?

>>23845326
Look who's late.
Again.
Really, Arthaus, you're the only wizard here that could be late twice to the same meeting.

>>23845369
Thrice actually!

>>23845362
Before you go can I have that deck of yours? I need it for reasons.

>>23845261
>>23845261
AW MAN. TARRASQUE'S DEAD.

AND ROBOTS TOOK MY CLAW.

BUT I CAN FIX IT! TO THE WORKSHOP, MY FINE CORPSE! AND YOU DAMN NECROMANCERS CAN BACK OFF FOR ONCE, I CALLED DIBS.

>>23845362
Can somebody summon Gar'Thagnan the Magical Artificer to make, like, fifty hats for Arthaus, please?

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Fuck, I'm late, fuckfuckfuck.

>>23845326
>>23845369
Huh so that's how I got here?

Why do I remember somethi... I FORGOT TO SAVE MY APPRENTICE FROM THE INCUBI MANSION!

I'll return shortly!

>>23845393

All he needs is a cursed -2 hat.

>>23845319
You see, down in the 2nd Circle there will be a Ball, and i'm looking for nice clothes

Make i can hook up with some of the Lust-Focused Warlocks/Demonologists later!

>>23845393
I can sin...magic some into existance

>>23845404
Oh, yeah, thanks for helping me with that, you horrible Master. I had to send them to the end of the Universe.

>>23845408
Deal. You may borrow my coat, just return it in the same condition it's in now.

>>23845424
I'll try!

You sure are a nice guy!
specially for someone who may or may not be a bard!

>>23845399
>>23845417
Oh well I'll make sure you did that then!

I shall return shortly!

>>23845399
how can a chronomancer be late?

>>23845417
Oh, they finally got themselves a mansion? Took a lot of community work for them to get the money up for that.

Oh dear, has anyone seen my jar filled with Sand of Itching? I could have sworn I put it in a hat somewhere...

>>23845431
Definitely not a bard, and thank you kindly

Mages...

>>23845434
That's... you're hurting my head here with that question. By the gods, man.

Gentlemen! As the representative of Necromancer's union, I bring forth a proposition that every single Mage Guild member is transformed into a Lich within a year. The advantages of this program would be immense - why, we would save a small fortune in catering alone!

Everyone agrees?

>>23845434
She is an APPRENTICE one!

>>23845448
Can i inquire why you're in our reunion Sir Paladin?

It is the about annual bowling competition?

>>23845449
Will it bring back the buffet?

>>23845449
I'm already half-Eldritch abomination. I'm afraid I can't do that.

>>23845246
read that first part again.

>>23845434
Apprentice Chronomancer.

>>23845441
I may, or may not, have thrown them into the firey End, along with their Mansion. Apologies to Incubi sympathizers I guess.

I HAVE ARRIVED! EARLY AS I ALWAYS AM! FOR I AM THE CHRONOMANCER!

THIS TIME WITH MY APPRENTICE IN TOW! WAIT! DAMN IT GIRL WHERE DID YOU GO? DID YOU FALL OUT OF THE SPHERE AGAIN!

>>23845449
I'm already immortal Sir Necromancer!

>>23845434
He's early to the next meeting.

>>23845462
The one true king is not pleased that I'm unable to make you lot pay taxes. I'm hiding here until he goes bowling and calms down.

>>23845472
No, I-I'm here, in the back.

>>23845491
Stop stuttering girl! And stand up straight! A wizard never looks anything less than totally in control of the situation.

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Good news, everyone! The Rockgroin Orc Tribe I've been instructing for the past month have sent us a few new apprentices. They should be arriving shortly.

Anything interesting happen while I was gone?

>>23845449
I vote that there should be an opt-out option. It seems a bit much to force it upon those with other views towards 'differently living'.

>>23845491
>>23845472
Oh, oh oh!

Maybe it's a time paradox?

>>23845487
I think you need a watch.
>>23845472
We might have some problems in the basement if you wouldn't mind taking a look?

>>23845491
Oh there you are!

You really must make yourself more visible girl! Wait when did you get so tall? I don't remember 7 year old orphan girls being full grown, I don't think my memory is that bad.

>>23845491
Hey there, can I interest you in a son..errr spell?

WHAT CRUEL GOD WOULD BRING ME BACK FROM SWEET DEATH SO SOON. MULTISYLLABIC FLINT, YOU FOOL, YOU ARROGANT FOOL, ALL I FEEL IS PAIN, ALL I FEEL IS PAAAAAAAAAIN

>>23845470
Wait...does this mean that...if I don't CHOOSE to be hurt...I CAN'T be hurt?

...I'M IMMORTAL!!

>>23845512
Watches are for heretics, the bishop told me so.